WEBVTT
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Good evening, and welcome to
The Great Indian Kapil Show Season 5.
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Thank you, all.
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I welcome you all to the show.
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- Kapil! Kapil!
- Thank you.
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Our set is all decked up.
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The festivities have begun.
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Our country is a land of many festivals.
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This season is dedicated
to all such festivals.
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We have a festival for every occasion.
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Karva Chauth for married couples,
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Raksha Bandhan for brothers and sisters,
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Guru Purnima
for the guru and the disciple,
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but none for brothers-in-law.
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A brother-in-law and his wife's brother
share the kind of relationship
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that's tucked away
like clothes behind a wardrobe.
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All it takes is a 20-rupee snack
and the zeal to celebrate.
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But no matter what,
whenever you need a companion,
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you turn to none other
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- than your brother-in-law.
- Yes.
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Keep clapping! Come on!
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We had begun this season
with a special episode,
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with our Air Force soldiers, on August 15.
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But some people didn't like it
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because August 15 was on a weekend,
they thought we'd lost our day off.
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They don't seem to care about
the country's independence.
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All they care for is a day off.
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A long weekend allows us
to make those exciting plans, after all.
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People travel from Mumbai to Lonavala,
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from Chandigarh to Shimla…
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And it's really hot in Delhi.
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So when people move out,
the city cools down on its own.
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People get stuck in traffic jams
with their families on the way to Shimla.
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They often lose steam
before they reach there.
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They can't help but give their spouses
angry looks.
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"Here we go!"
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"This was your plan!"
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The spouse would give it back too.
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"I didn't know everyone was here."
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The children would go nuts
over all this too.
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"Where is Shimla, Dad?"
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The father goes like,
"In your mother's lap!"
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"You see this road inundated with cars?"
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"This is Shimla! This is it!"
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The traffic jams are nasty.
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- Look at all our cities, big and small.
- Yes.
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It's wall-to-wall crowds.
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Has everyone moved
from villages to cities?
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Yes.
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During festivals, it gets worse.
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Shops mushroom
in every corner of the street.
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Shops line even the footpaths
meant for walking.
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And then, you have street-vendors too.
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The streets just vanish.
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- You must look for it.
- Yes.
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All kinds of vehicles ply there,
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including that special one with Ravana,
his arms stretched…
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Everyone in the way gets slapped.
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During festivals, the whole vibe changes.
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Some people carry sweet boxes
during Diwali, on their scooters.
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The boxes end up being crumpled.
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The dry sweets in it,
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they appear mangled.
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If it's a sweet with syrup,
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the person carrying the box
gets soaked in syrup.
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- I mean it.
- Such a sticky affair!
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It soon dries up, and when the person
takes the pants off,
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- it creates a screeching sound.
- Oh, my God!
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- A nice waxing for the thighs.
- Waxing!
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That screeching sound means
the waxing worked.
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Nowadays, people burst crackers
on every festival, not just Diwali.
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On Holi, Sankranti, during weddings,
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and to celebrate divorces.
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Then to celebrate a new relationship
after the divorce.
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Lovely!
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To celebrate winning a court case.
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Someone was jailed again for it.
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He set off firecrackers inside the court
after being acquitted.
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The judge dusted off his vest.
"Get lost! Thirty more years!"
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The judge brought
a bucket of water in the next hearing.
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- That's great.
- We're so enthusiastic about festivals.
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We celebrate our festivals,
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and foreign holidays too, like Halloween.
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- Halloween.
- Had we ever heard of it?
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No!
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Where people dress up as ghosts.
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- Some people take advantage of it.
- Yes.
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They dress up as ghosts
and catch the witches next door.
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Every society, especially in Mumbai,
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has at least one such couple
during festivals
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that's all love-dovey,
and wants to click photos all the time.
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They're always excited.
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They wear different attires
on every single day of each festival.
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People wear different clothes
to celebrate Garba.
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Such couples often fish for compliments.
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They want people to shower compliments
on them.
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People say that they look great
as a couple,
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and the man tends to give
all the credit to the wife.
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Even though the man seldom looks good.
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And when they go back home,
the man would fight with the wife
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over such pomp and show.
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She's obsessed with the theme.
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She made me wear
pink pajamas in this heat,
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and the color rubbed off on me.
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I took them off,
but it still feels like I'm wearing them.
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My butt's turned pink.
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His wife says, "It's okay.
Pink is better than purple."
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- Let me say something.
- Yes.
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During festivals,
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women play a very important role
in telling us what occasion it is.
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- How?
- They have a good sense of dressing.
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They also have options.
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Their Instagram photos easily reveal
which festival it is.
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A saree with a veil for Karva Chauth,
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and a ghagra choli for Navratri.
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All that the man has
is a single set of kurta.
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He'd pair it up differently.
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He'd pose in the same kurta
on every occasion.
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That's all he needs.
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Some men even choose the kurta set
from their wedding night.
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They say that they had worn it slightly
only for one night.
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Yes, "slightly" only for a night.
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That "slightly" has led to the population
explosion in our country.
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- Look at you flaunting your tie.
- Yes.
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How inconvenient it is!
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We all have our favourite festivals.
I want to ask the audience here.
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Which one is yours?
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Yes. Please pass her the mic.
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- Hello, Kapil.
- Namaste. How're you?
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- Ram Ram. I'm from Rajasthan.
- How are you?
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- Which part of it?
- Jaipur.
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- Jammu?
- Jaipur.
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- Oh, Jaipur.
- Yes.
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Our director is from Jaipur too.
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Take him along with you, please. Okay?
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So…
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- Who are you here with?
- My husband.
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- Your husband? Welcome.
- Yes.
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Which is your favourite festival?
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All of them.
Meeting you is a festival of sorts too.
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Thanks for all the love.
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We celebrate Teej in Rajasthan.
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- The monsoon festival.
- Yes.
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- And--
- What is it celebrated for? I'm not sure.
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I think only married women celebrate it
to mark the onset of monsoon.
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Married women in Rajasthan don't celebrate
their first Teej at their in-laws' house.
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Doesn't it get really romantic… So?
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Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law
can't stay together during this.
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- Say, someone got recently married…
- Yes.
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…in last week of May,
and the monsoon started in June.
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Still, the bride goes to her own home.
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- Can't the husband tag along?
- No.
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- What about the husband?
- He has to go out for work.
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- But what's the reason?
- I don't know.
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Is it a mother-in-law's brainchild?
She'd want to spend time with her husband.
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- It's a custom, after all.
- Yes.
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In our culture,
the festive season begins with Teej
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and comes to an end with Gangaur.
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- I see. What does it end with, again?
- Gangaur. It's famous in Jaipur.
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- In Jaipur--
- Gangaur.
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I didn't know of it.
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Then comes Basoda. Ever heard of it?
Sheetala Ashtami.
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- Are you from the Rajasthan we all know?
- Yes!
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I've never heard of the last two!
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What's special about it?
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- May I speak in my language?
- Were you speaking French until now?
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Go ahead, speak your heart out.
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It's celebrated eight days after Holi.
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Do you celebrate Diwali
and Dussehra in Jaipur?
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- Yes. We do.
- I see.
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Which one's your favourite?
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- Teej. Yes.
- Teej?
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Because you get to see your parents?
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- How long have you been married for?
- Twenty-five years.
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- Silver jubilee--
- There's no excitement left then.
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- I have a request.
- Yes?
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Let him speak too.
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- Hello, Kapil. Sidhu paaji.
- Hello. Namaste.
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She's my festival. Teej, Diwali, Holi.
She's all of them.
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Yes. Thank you!
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Well said!
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That's true!
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- Wow!
- He's right. Bravo!
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- Thanks. It was great fun.
- I have something to say…
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Haven't you been speaking
for the lion's share of this episode?
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Listen, sir.
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You have a dimple on this side,
so he's sitting over there?
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Your very own Preity Zinta, right?
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On Teej, all newlywed women
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should sit on the swing,
and other women are supposed to--
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Have you ever asked them
whether they really enjoy it or not?
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- But I've done it.
- What if she doesn't like it?
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The others are supposed to lash them
with Neem branches.
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- Why?
- She should utter her husband's name.
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- Women don't take their husbands' name?
- Not at all.
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- How do you address your husband?
- I remember being lashed hard.
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Then I recited a poem
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praising how lovable my husband was.
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Bravo! Amazing!
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It was nice talking to you two.
Your husband has remained tight-lipped.
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You just gave me a whole lesson
on festivals.
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Who wants to go next?
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Sir, we have someone sitting
behind you up there.
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- Why are you telling me--
- So what's your favourite festival?
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I'm just asking.
We can't ignore the youngsters.
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Yes? Hey, come on, go there.
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Please take a seat.
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Here's your tip.
00:11:41.785 --> 00:11:44.625 align:center
Are you all right? Come on, sit.
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You look even younger than me. Really.
00:11:49.025 --> 00:11:50.865 align:center
- Really?
- Yes.
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You're aging backwards.
00:11:53.505 --> 00:11:55.545 align:center
He went there to fish for compliments.
00:11:55.625 --> 00:11:57.665 align:center
- Initially--
- It's ongoing.
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- It's a process.
- You look like my younger brother.
00:12:01.145 --> 00:12:04.825 align:center
- What?
- Just like my younger brother.
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- Younger brother?
- Yes.
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What a turn-off!
00:12:08.225 --> 00:12:11.385 align:center
- Calls for a celebration!
- Here's a tip for you, sis.
00:12:16.705 --> 00:12:18.865 align:center
- What's your favourite festival?
- I'm from Assam.
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Festivals are celebrated
with great enthusiasm, like Durga Puja.
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And…
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I go there too. I mean, it's just so…
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I mean, like, say there's the Taj Mahal,
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- for example.
- Yeah.
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There's no
Hindu-Muslim divide like that there.
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They build a Taj Mahal-style setup there
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and place Goddess Durga in it.
00:12:37.185 --> 00:12:39.745 align:center
- It's a good thing.
- That's what I like about Assam.
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I really like Assam too.
And today, I'm liking it even more.
00:12:43.385 --> 00:12:44.345 align:center
Thank you, sir.
00:12:47.345 --> 00:12:49.025 align:center
Archana ji,
what's your favourite festival?
00:12:49.105 --> 00:12:49.985 align:center
Diwali.
00:12:50.065 --> 00:12:52.545 align:center
- You already gamble anyway.
- No!
00:12:55.145 --> 00:12:57.625 align:center
- I don't gamble.
- Yes, I know. I know that.
00:12:57.705 --> 00:12:59.905 align:center
- Diwali.
- Diwali is your favourite? Why?
00:13:00.585 --> 00:13:02.185 align:center
Because…
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Lakshmi Puja.
00:13:05.665 --> 00:13:09.905 align:center
No, I think it's generally the feeling
you get all across India,
00:13:09.985 --> 00:13:11.505 align:center
where everybody just unites.
00:13:11.585 --> 00:13:13.785 align:center
It doesn't matter
which religion you're from,
00:13:13.865 --> 00:13:17.625 align:center
but everybody, the neighbours you have,
they share sweets with each other, and…
00:13:17.705 --> 00:13:19.665 align:center
The sweets makes Diwali so special.
00:13:19.745 --> 00:13:23.745 align:center
But just generally,
the atmosphere you have all across India,
00:13:23.825 --> 00:13:26.145 align:center
- it's such a happy atmosphere.
- Yes.
00:13:26.225 --> 00:13:27.385 align:center
So, I love Diwali.
00:13:27.465 --> 00:13:29.585 align:center
- That's wonderful!
- Diwali feels even more special…
00:13:29.665 --> 00:13:32.345 align:center
Love you, ma'am.
Sidhu paaji, what's your favourite?
00:13:32.425 --> 00:13:34.145 align:center
Mine is Lohri.
00:13:36.425 --> 00:13:39.345 align:center
Oh, I thought your favourite was
Malaika Arora. I mean…
00:13:40.225 --> 00:13:41.345 align:center
Okay!
00:13:42.825 --> 00:13:44.185 align:center
Come on, guys!
00:13:51.385 --> 00:13:54.025 align:center
No matter what the festival is,
it's best celebrated with your loved ones.
00:13:54.105 --> 00:13:56.585 align:center
Without those bonds,
every festival feels incomplete.
00:13:56.665 --> 00:13:58.105 align:center
Because family amplifies the celebration.
00:13:58.185 --> 00:14:00.905 align:center
And today, we're welcoming a family
00:14:00.985 --> 00:14:03.345 align:center
who told a lie to protect their family,
00:14:03.425 --> 00:14:05.425 align:center
a lie that no one has been able to solve.
00:14:05.505 --> 00:14:08.545 align:center
Please welcome,
from Drishyam: The Conclusion,
00:14:08.625 --> 00:14:11.265 align:center
the Salgaonkar family, Mr. Ajay Devgn…
00:14:13.425 --> 00:14:14.585 align:center
Shriya Saran,
00:14:14.665 --> 00:14:17.945 align:center
Ishita Dutta and Mrunal Jadhav.
00:14:20.905 --> 00:14:23.585 align:center
Welcome, welcome, Ishita.
How are you? Welcome.
00:14:25.905 --> 00:14:27.985 align:center
Hello, how're you? You've grown up.
00:14:28.065 --> 00:14:29.825 align:center
Hello! Welcome back.
00:14:29.905 --> 00:14:32.585 align:center
Paaji!
Let's hear a big round of applause!
00:14:36.305 --> 00:14:39.905 align:center
Joining us on stage right now
is the Salgaonkar family.
00:14:39.985 --> 00:14:43.105 align:center
For 11 years,
they've had people wondering…
00:14:43.185 --> 00:14:44.985 align:center
People keep thinking,
"This time he'll get caught."
00:14:45.065 --> 00:14:46.345 align:center
But he just won't get caught.
00:14:47.185 --> 00:14:49.265 align:center
Get four passport-size photos taken.
00:14:49.745 --> 00:14:52.745 align:center
Look at each one separately.
You'll find differences even there, sir.
00:14:52.825 --> 00:14:55.745 align:center
But listen to their statements.
Not even the slightest difference.
00:14:57.745 --> 00:15:00.545 align:center
Tell us, Salgaonkar sahab,
what were you doing on October 2nd?
00:15:04.225 --> 00:15:07.745 align:center
- On October 2, we went to Panjim.
- We went to Panjim.
00:15:07.825 --> 00:15:11.025 align:center
Then we attended
00:15:11.105 --> 00:15:13.105 align:center
Swami Chinmayananda's satsang.
00:15:13.185 --> 00:15:15.785 align:center
- Then we had pav bhaji.
- Pav bhaji.
00:15:15.865 --> 00:15:19.905 align:center
We stayed there overnight
and came back on October 3.
00:15:20.745 --> 00:15:21.825 align:center
Got it?
00:15:23.465 --> 00:15:24.785 align:center
Now, Ishita, you tell me.
00:15:24.865 --> 00:15:26.305 align:center
Where were you on October 2?
00:15:26.385 --> 00:15:29.065 align:center
On October 2,
I went to Panjim with my family.
00:15:29.145 --> 00:15:32.505 align:center
We attended
Swami Chinmayananda's satsang there.
00:15:32.585 --> 00:15:34.905 align:center
Then we had pav bhaji,
stayed there overnight,
00:15:34.985 --> 00:15:36.705 align:center
and came back on October 3.
00:15:36.785 --> 00:15:38.905 align:center
See that? Copy and paste.
Now you tell me, Shriya.
00:15:38.985 --> 00:15:40.545 align:center
What are you doing tonight?
00:15:41.585 --> 00:15:44.865 align:center
No… The dialogue is exactly the same.
We know it by heart now.
00:15:44.945 --> 00:15:46.185 align:center
She's tying rakhi today. Want one?
00:15:46.265 --> 00:15:47.425 align:center
- To whom?
- You!
00:15:49.505 --> 00:15:51.065 align:center
Let's talk about the movie now.
00:15:53.385 --> 00:15:55.465 align:center
The casting in this movie is really good.
00:15:55.545 --> 00:15:58.465 align:center
Casting Ajay Devgn was the right call.
00:15:58.545 --> 00:16:01.585 align:center
- Because no one can get a word out of him.
- True!
00:16:01.665 --> 00:16:03.465 align:center
If Sidhu paaji had been in Drishyam,
00:16:04.625 --> 00:16:06.345 align:center
he would've confessed in part one.
00:16:08.385 --> 00:16:09.385 align:center
Yes!
00:16:10.505 --> 00:16:12.225 align:center
He'd be like, "Look!"
00:16:13.785 --> 00:16:15.065 align:center
"The body's right there."
00:16:16.105 --> 00:16:17.705 align:center
"And that guy next door, Timmy?"
00:16:17.785 --> 00:16:19.905 align:center
"He's growing opium in his garden.
Go catch him!"
00:16:24.345 --> 00:16:27.065 align:center
Shriya doesn't look like someone
who can keep a secret.
00:16:27.145 --> 00:16:28.945 align:center
I don't know
how she pulls it off in the movie.
00:16:29.025 --> 00:16:32.785 align:center
Shriya, you do whatever Ajay Devgn,
your husband, says in the movie.
00:16:32.865 --> 00:16:35.785 align:center
Do you do whatever
your husband says in real life?
00:16:35.865 --> 00:16:37.705 align:center
I listen, but I don't follow.
00:16:39.385 --> 00:16:41.585 align:center
Not even when he gives good advice?
00:16:42.585 --> 00:16:43.865 align:center
No.
00:16:46.665 --> 00:16:47.945 align:center
What's your experience?
00:16:48.025 --> 00:16:49.305 align:center
I say it all here.
00:16:49.985 --> 00:16:52.665 align:center
Whatever I want to say.
Once I get home, I'm like Ajay Devgn.
00:16:56.105 --> 00:16:57.865 align:center
Mrunal! Mrunal, come here.
00:16:57.945 --> 00:17:01.465 align:center
Mrunal was this little
when Drishyam first came out.
00:17:01.545 --> 00:17:03.905 align:center
- Mrunal, how old are you now?
- 21 years.
00:17:03.985 --> 00:17:05.625 align:center
- You're 21 now?
- Yes.
00:17:05.705 --> 00:17:08.945 align:center
You've been Vijay Salgaonkar's daughter
for 11 years.
00:17:09.025 --> 00:17:11.385 align:center
- Ten years as your real dad's daughter.
- Yes.
00:17:11.464 --> 00:17:15.385 align:center
So, your own dad
must've asked you at some point, "Look,
00:17:16.065 --> 00:17:19.224 align:center
don't tell anyone, but tell me
will Ajay Devgn get caught in this movie?"
00:17:19.305 --> 00:17:20.785 align:center
Does he ever ask you that?
00:17:20.865 --> 00:17:22.665 align:center
- Or in college…
- He's a police officer.
00:17:22.745 --> 00:17:24.265 align:center
- Your dad's a police officer?
- Yes.
00:17:24.345 --> 00:17:26.985 align:center
Wow, what a contrast!
Her real dad is a police officer,
00:17:27.065 --> 00:17:28.145 align:center
other's committing murders.
00:17:30.385 --> 00:17:33.464 align:center
Well, this movie is one of a kind.
It releases on October 2.
00:17:33.545 --> 00:17:35.265 align:center
Mahatma Gandhi
spent his whole life saying,
00:17:35.345 --> 00:17:36.865 align:center
"Always tell the truth."
00:17:36.945 --> 00:17:41.105 align:center
And on October 2, this entire family
shows up and tells lie after lie!
00:17:41.785 --> 00:17:43.105 align:center
But hey, it's fun.
00:17:44.345 --> 00:17:47.785 align:center
A very warm welcome to all of you.
Please, have a seat.
00:17:50.145 --> 00:17:53.225 align:center
This time, a new officer has been assigned
00:17:53.305 --> 00:17:55.585 align:center
to get the truth
out of the Salgaonkar family.
00:17:55.665 --> 00:17:57.665 align:center
Let's welcome him.
00:17:57.745 --> 00:18:00.385 align:center
And joining him,
we also have the director of the film.
00:18:00.465 --> 00:18:03.625 align:center
Please welcome the very talented
Mr. Jaideep Ahlawat,
00:18:03.705 --> 00:18:06.345 align:center
and the director, Mr. Abhishek Pathak.
00:18:18.865 --> 00:18:20.745 align:center
Welcome. How're you, Abhishek ji?
00:18:20.825 --> 00:18:22.305 align:center
A heartfelt welcome.
00:18:23.505 --> 00:18:26.785 align:center
You've all seen Drishyam.
You've seen the first one,
00:18:26.865 --> 00:18:30.305 align:center
and the second one. In Drishyam,
Ajay sir didn't get caught by Tabu ma'am.
00:18:30.385 --> 00:18:32.585 align:center
He didn't get caught
by Akshaye Khanna either.
00:18:33.225 --> 00:18:36.145 align:center
Although, after Dhurandhar,
even Akshaye Khanna is hard to catch!
00:18:36.225 --> 00:18:40.865 align:center
So this time,
Jaideep sir is after Ajay sir.
00:18:40.945 --> 00:18:43.145 align:center
Although, looking at his own track record,
00:18:43.225 --> 00:18:45.425 align:center
it seems like
he's hidden three or four bodies himself.
00:18:46.465 --> 00:18:48.665 align:center
But jokes apart,
he's such an incredible actor.
00:18:48.745 --> 00:18:50.825 align:center
He becomes whatever character he plays.
00:18:50.905 --> 00:18:54.545 align:center
Jaideep bhai, I've known Ajay sir
for at least 15 years.
00:18:54.625 --> 00:18:56.225 align:center
I've had 14 conversations with him.
00:18:57.585 --> 00:19:00.225 align:center
And I'll tell you all 14.
"I'm fine. How are you?"
00:19:02.425 --> 00:19:05.865 align:center
You did an entire film with him.
How many conversations did you two have?
00:19:05.945 --> 00:19:07.665 align:center
We had the same conversation
while shooting.
00:19:07.745 --> 00:19:09.345 align:center
"I'm fine. How are you?"
00:19:10.345 --> 00:19:11.665 align:center
I've known sir since 2009 too.
00:19:11.745 --> 00:19:13.745 align:center
My first film with him was…
00:19:13.825 --> 00:19:15.185 align:center
- Aakrosh. Right.
- Aakrosh.
00:19:15.265 --> 00:19:17.145 align:center
- Same producers. Kumar ji.
- Right. Yeah.
00:19:17.825 --> 00:19:18.825 align:center
Life is a circle.
00:19:19.825 --> 00:19:21.985 align:center
But I probably had
five or six conversations with him.
00:19:22.065 --> 00:19:23.385 align:center
You've got 14 at least.
00:19:24.825 --> 00:19:27.105 align:center
- Tell me, do you believe in karma?
- Absolutely.
00:19:27.185 --> 00:19:29.585 align:center
- What role did you play in that movie?
- I was a criminal.
00:19:29.665 --> 00:19:30.785 align:center
- In Aakrosh.
- Yes.
00:19:30.865 --> 00:19:32.465 align:center
- And he was with the CBI.
- Yes.
00:19:32.545 --> 00:19:34.905 align:center
And in this movie, you're the cop,
and he's the criminal.
00:19:34.985 --> 00:19:37.105 align:center
See, sir? Life comes full circle.
00:19:38.225 --> 00:19:39.665 align:center
Please, have a seat.
00:19:41.145 --> 00:19:42.825 align:center
Abhishek sir, I have a question for you.
00:19:42.905 --> 00:19:45.505 align:center
Don't you think
if instead of Jaideep bhai, you had cast…
00:19:45.585 --> 00:19:49.225 align:center
Or if you had cast
Kajol ma'am in the first movie
00:19:49.305 --> 00:19:51.665 align:center
instead of Tabu ma'am
or Akshaye Khanna sir,
00:19:52.425 --> 00:19:55.185 align:center
wouldn't she have gotten it all out of him
in the first part?
00:19:56.945 --> 00:19:58.265 align:center
Then there'd be no movie!
00:19:58.345 --> 00:20:00.305 align:center
He wouldn't be able to hide anything.
00:20:00.385 --> 00:20:03.185 align:center
- There wouldn't be a part two or three.
- There'd be no story.
00:20:03.265 --> 00:20:05.545 align:center
- There wouldn't even be a first movie.
- What…
00:20:10.985 --> 00:20:15.385 align:center
Ajay sir, the title reads
Drishyam: The Conclusion this time.
00:20:15.465 --> 00:20:19.905 align:center
Who came up with that?
The writer, the director, you,
00:20:19.985 --> 00:20:22.785 align:center
or the artist
who's been buried for 11 years?
00:20:24.545 --> 00:20:30.105 align:center
I think that was always the plan.
We always knew how the movie would end.
00:20:30.185 --> 00:20:32.505 align:center
Does he get caught or not?
You'll have to watch and see.
00:20:32.585 --> 00:20:36.905 align:center
But this is the conclusion.
This chapter ends here.
00:20:36.985 --> 00:20:39.745 align:center
We're really excited for part three.
00:20:39.825 --> 00:20:42.745 align:center
You already have quite a family.
And now Jaideep bhai has joined you!
00:20:42.825 --> 00:20:44.305 align:center
We're waiting, sir.
00:20:47.545 --> 00:20:50.265 align:center
About Ajay sir's phone…
This isn't my question.
00:20:50.345 --> 00:20:53.625 align:center
It's the audience's. They said,
"Ask him when Devgn sir comes."
00:20:53.705 --> 00:20:54.905 align:center
"He barely smiles."
00:20:56.305 --> 00:20:58.345 align:center
Ask him whether his iPhone
00:20:59.665 --> 00:21:01.185 align:center
even has a smiley emoji?
00:21:04.985 --> 00:21:07.985 align:center
Or did Apple leave it out
because you never use it?
00:21:08.065 --> 00:21:10.425 align:center
I'll check. I've never checked either.
00:21:12.745 --> 00:21:14.505 align:center
Have you ever sent anyone an emoji?
00:21:14.585 --> 00:21:17.745 align:center
Even when ma'am texts you,
"Something good happened today!"
00:21:17.825 --> 00:21:19.025 align:center
You don't send a smiley?
00:21:19.105 --> 00:21:20.785 align:center
Come on, I do!
00:21:20.865 --> 00:21:23.785 align:center
- And I smile too.
- Okay? Did you hear that, everyone?
00:21:24.905 --> 00:21:26.425 align:center
I'm smiling right now, looking at you.
00:21:26.505 --> 00:21:28.305 align:center
Why I'm smiling at you
is a different story.
00:21:31.305 --> 00:21:34.145 align:center
But look at the characters he plays.
00:21:34.225 --> 00:21:35.905 align:center
Where's the room for a smile?
00:21:35.985 --> 00:21:38.345 align:center
"Now I'm pissed!"
Where would he smile?
00:21:38.425 --> 00:21:41.145 align:center
He'll hit someone,
so you guys hit your hands together!
00:21:46.745 --> 00:21:49.745 align:center
Ask him why he lost 30 kilos.
00:21:49.825 --> 00:21:50.665 align:center
Find out the reason.
00:21:50.745 --> 00:21:53.585 align:center
- You lost 30 kilos?
- 38, he's telling me. 38 kgs.
00:21:53.665 --> 00:21:56.145 align:center
That's an
eighth-grader's worth of weight gone.
00:21:57.345 --> 00:21:59.625 align:center
I weighed 35 kilos in eighth grade!
00:21:59.705 --> 00:22:03.665 align:center
That discipline, you know,
if I look around me,
00:22:03.745 --> 00:22:07.105 align:center
I see what discipline really means
when I look at Mr. Devgn.
00:22:07.185 --> 00:22:09.785 align:center
- Is that so?
- Discipline should be a part of life.
00:22:09.865 --> 00:22:11.185 align:center
I've been watching for 40 years.
00:22:11.265 --> 00:22:14.465 align:center
Why did it become part of your life
only after you did that show with Malaika?
00:22:14.545 --> 00:22:16.185 align:center
Why didn't it happen before?
00:22:17.265 --> 00:22:18.705 align:center
He won't stop until they get divorced.
00:22:19.465 --> 00:22:20.825 align:center
Look!
00:22:20.905 --> 00:22:22.865 align:center
The point I'm making is that
00:22:22.945 --> 00:22:26.145 align:center
when you bring discipline into your life,
you don't have to say anything.
00:22:26.225 --> 00:22:28.145 align:center
Then people like Kapil say,
"He's lost 30 kilos,"
00:22:28.225 --> 00:22:30.265 align:center
and someone else says, "He's lost 25."
00:22:30.345 --> 00:22:31.905 align:center
It speaks for itself.
00:22:31.985 --> 00:22:35.705 align:center
When you were about to come in,
the technical team comes in, right?
00:22:35.785 --> 00:22:37.665 align:center
"Okay, we know
where Mr. Devgn is going to sit."
00:22:37.745 --> 00:22:39.185 align:center
"So put Jaideep next to him
00:22:39.265 --> 00:22:40.905 align:center
so we have
hero-and-villain thing going on."
00:22:40.985 --> 00:22:43.065 align:center
And he was saying,
"Jaideep is our kid. Put him over there."
00:22:43.145 --> 00:22:44.345 align:center
"Bring Shriya up to eye level."
00:22:49.705 --> 00:22:51.505 align:center
They told me backstage
where I was supposed to sit,
00:22:51.585 --> 00:22:55.425 align:center
and I was like, "Kapil's done it again.
He's gonna put him right next to me!"
00:22:55.505 --> 00:22:57.385 align:center
- Hey, this…
- I don't know what's true.
00:22:57.465 --> 00:22:59.745 align:center
I'm the one who gets blamed, Shriya.
00:22:59.825 --> 00:23:03.145 align:center
I may be a little bad, but not that bad.
00:23:03.225 --> 00:23:04.905 align:center
Okay, let's get back to it.
00:23:04.985 --> 00:23:08.505 align:center
Ajay sir's love for Goa is well known,
as you can see.
00:23:08.585 --> 00:23:11.985 align:center
Just look at his movies.
Golmaal, Singham, Drishyam.
00:23:12.065 --> 00:23:13.745 align:center
They were all shot in Goa.
00:23:13.825 --> 00:23:15.825 align:center
He even launched
the Drishyam 3 trailer there.
00:23:15.905 --> 00:23:18.665 align:center
So, sir, the audience has a question.
Again, it's not mine.
00:23:18.745 --> 00:23:20.705 align:center
They say you really love Goa,
00:23:20.785 --> 00:23:24.065 align:center
or is it because you can't find
better feni anywhere else?
00:23:24.145 --> 00:23:26.265 align:center
Or is it because pomfret is cheaper there?
00:23:26.345 --> 00:23:27.905 align:center
Why do you love Goa so much?
00:23:27.985 --> 00:23:29.745 align:center
Goa is very relaxing.
00:23:30.825 --> 00:23:32.225 align:center
I don't drink feni.
00:23:32.305 --> 00:23:34.225 align:center
- And…
- Then at least bring it for someone else.
00:23:35.345 --> 00:23:39.905 align:center
Feni has gotten you into
a lot of trouble before. Remember that.
00:23:40.825 --> 00:23:42.185 align:center
No, no. I don't drink feni.
00:23:43.225 --> 00:23:45.905 align:center
- Archana ji? In Goa.
- No, no.
00:23:45.985 --> 00:23:47.905 align:center
You'll drink anything if it's free.
00:23:49.265 --> 00:23:51.145 align:center
If it's free, make the most of it.
00:23:52.465 --> 00:23:54.465 align:center
And you're so lucky.
00:23:54.545 --> 00:23:57.745 align:center
Do you know how blessed you are?
You go to Goa,
00:23:58.505 --> 00:24:00.145 align:center
shoot a movie, and get paid for it.
00:24:00.225 --> 00:24:03.065 align:center
When the average Indian
goes to Goa, it costs money.
00:24:04.585 --> 00:24:06.665 align:center
Your honeymoon
isn't on the producer's tab.
00:24:08.945 --> 00:24:10.105 align:center
Now we've got a smile.
00:24:13.865 --> 00:24:14.985 align:center
Let me tell you something.
00:24:15.065 --> 00:24:18.345 align:center
Goa is famous for a lot of things.
Goa's beaches are pretty famous.
00:24:18.425 --> 00:24:21.185 align:center
So many tourists go there.
The seafood is famous too.
00:24:21.265 --> 00:24:24.505 align:center
But after Drishyam,
Goa's pav bhaji became really famous.
00:24:24.585 --> 00:24:27.305 align:center
And we've heard a story, Mrunal,
00:24:27.385 --> 00:24:30.665 align:center
that it happened because of you.
There was no pav bhaji before that.
00:24:30.745 --> 00:24:32.225 align:center
- Is it true?
- Yes.
00:24:32.305 --> 00:24:34.105 align:center
- What was it before?
- It was biryani.
00:24:34.185 --> 00:24:36.785 align:center
But I don't like biryani.
I really like pav bhaji.
00:24:36.865 --> 00:24:38.785 align:center
That's why I told them to have pav bhaji.
00:24:38.865 --> 00:24:40.945 align:center
- Is that so?
- Yes.
00:24:41.025 --> 00:24:42.825 align:center
- What kind of biryani? Veg, non-veg?
- Chicken!
00:24:42.905 --> 00:24:45.745 align:center
I didn't eat non-veg back then.
I am a vegetarian.
00:24:45.825 --> 00:24:48.385 align:center
Thank God she didn't say
she wanted a vegetarian dad too.
00:24:49.145 --> 00:24:51.265 align:center
Then you would've had to
sign Kailash Kher.
00:24:53.105 --> 00:24:56.145 align:center
You wouldn't need Jaideep bhai
to get Kailash Kher talking.
00:24:56.225 --> 00:24:57.705 align:center
T-Series could get it out of him.
00:25:03.465 --> 00:25:07.025 align:center
Shriya, you're trying
to protect your family.
00:25:07.105 --> 00:25:09.825 align:center
You're keeping a secret.
00:25:09.905 --> 00:25:14.105 align:center
Do you think we should hide
from people in our personal lives?
00:25:14.185 --> 00:25:17.425 align:center
For example, sometimes you go
on an expensive shopping spree.
00:25:17.505 --> 00:25:19.825 align:center
You don't tell them right away.
You ease them into it.
00:25:19.905 --> 00:25:22.905 align:center
Or you hide something from your Mummy.
00:25:22.985 --> 00:25:24.745 align:center
Or maybe from your female friends.
00:25:24.825 --> 00:25:26.745 align:center
What do you think? As a wife,
00:25:26.825 --> 00:25:29.585 align:center
what things
one shouldn't tell their husband?
00:25:30.385 --> 00:25:31.665 align:center
One should tell nothing.
00:25:31.745 --> 00:25:32.825 align:center
Tell them nothing?
00:25:34.785 --> 00:25:38.345 align:center
I don't lie to them, but I don't share
what I don't want to. That's it.
00:25:38.425 --> 00:25:39.785 align:center
Have you told him about me?
00:25:44.105 --> 00:25:45.345 align:center
- No.
- It's a tricky question.
00:25:45.425 --> 00:25:46.905 align:center
Completely bounced off my head.
00:25:47.825 --> 00:25:50.665 align:center
Jaideep bhai,
I was just watching Ajay sir's…
00:25:50.745 --> 00:25:53.945 align:center
He gave a special appearance
on a crime show.
00:25:54.025 --> 00:25:55.505 align:center
He was advising the viewers.
00:25:55.585 --> 00:25:57.185 align:center
"Stay alert. Stay vigilant."
00:25:57.265 --> 00:25:59.905 align:center
As a husband, do you think
a husband should stay alert,
00:25:59.985 --> 00:26:01.225 align:center
or being decent will do?
00:26:01.305 --> 00:26:03.385 align:center
- No need for vigilance?
- Are you alert?
00:26:03.465 --> 00:26:05.585 align:center
Are you decent? You're decent?
00:26:05.665 --> 00:26:07.545 align:center
- It's just my image--
- No, but you're decent?
00:26:07.625 --> 00:26:09.545 align:center
Yes, and I still need to be vigilant.
00:26:09.625 --> 00:26:11.265 align:center
Then? You answered yourself!
00:26:12.385 --> 00:26:13.505 align:center
Are you decent?
00:26:13.585 --> 00:26:15.385 align:center
Have I asked for your number yet?
00:26:18.025 --> 00:26:20.185 align:center
- Now, tell me.
- Take it today. Don't fret.
00:26:21.465 --> 00:26:23.185 align:center
Yeah, I'll manage to be vigilant.
00:26:25.705 --> 00:26:27.425 align:center
Jaideep bhai,
what do you think about this?
00:26:27.505 --> 00:26:29.905 align:center
As you said,
be decent as well as vigilant.
00:26:29.985 --> 00:26:32.265 align:center
But why be vigilant when one's decent?
00:26:32.345 --> 00:26:34.305 align:center
No, no. You can be attacked anytime.
00:26:41.945 --> 00:26:44.905 align:center
Honestly speaking, I just recalled
my father's words on this matter.
00:26:44.985 --> 00:26:47.905 align:center
- Yes.
- He used to say that any outside troubles
00:26:47.985 --> 00:26:52.385 align:center
regarding your work, or anything
that doesn't concern your family directly
00:26:53.345 --> 00:26:55.385 align:center
or is not related to them,
00:26:56.265 --> 00:26:58.985 align:center
it becomes too overwhelming
for them if shared.
00:26:59.065 --> 00:27:00.985 align:center
They can't handle it.
00:27:01.065 --> 00:27:02.865 align:center
I thought it very correct.
00:27:02.945 --> 00:27:06.065 align:center
- Right.
- Don't bring your work troubles home.
00:27:06.145 --> 00:27:08.185 align:center
That's right.
Don't bring work troubles home.
00:27:08.265 --> 00:27:10.305 align:center
You won't get a chance to do it anyway.
00:27:10.385 --> 00:27:13.825 align:center
Before you carry your troubles,
you find trouble waiting at home!
00:27:19.505 --> 00:27:22.465 align:center
And if both husband and wife
are working in the same film,
00:27:22.545 --> 00:27:24.025 align:center
the work goes home anyway.
00:27:24.745 --> 00:27:27.145 align:center
Then you have troubles
both at work and at home.
00:27:30.745 --> 00:27:34.385 align:center
I would like my viewers' opinion
on this too.
00:27:34.465 --> 00:27:36.145 align:center
What do you think?
00:27:36.225 --> 00:27:38.145 align:center
What should we hide
00:27:38.225 --> 00:27:39.305 align:center
and what to share?
00:27:39.385 --> 00:27:41.345 align:center
- Yes, ma'am.
- We should hide
00:27:41.425 --> 00:27:44.945 align:center
money and gold from our husbands.
00:27:45.025 --> 00:27:47.705 align:center
Because in an emergency, it's the women
00:27:47.785 --> 00:27:50.345 align:center
- who utilize them.
- You manage to hide money from them?
00:27:50.425 --> 00:27:52.505 align:center
- Yes.
- Where? You live in the same house,
00:27:52.585 --> 00:27:54.345 align:center
he's bound to notice sometimes.
00:27:54.425 --> 00:27:57.585 align:center
- What are your hiding places?
- I hide them in the kitchen containers.
00:27:57.665 --> 00:27:58.585 align:center
In the containers!
00:27:59.345 --> 00:28:01.905 align:center
- Tea container?
- Do you know? Someone's money
00:28:01.985 --> 00:28:04.465 align:center
- was eaten up by rats from the container.
- Rats ate the money?
00:28:04.545 --> 00:28:07.585 align:center
- Yes, I read it somewhere.
- Rats also eat money? I didn't know that.
00:28:07.665 --> 00:28:09.305 align:center
Yes, I read it recently.
00:28:09.385 --> 00:28:11.905 align:center
- Somewhere--
- Who doesn't like to stomach money?
00:28:14.905 --> 00:28:16.825 align:center
Wow! Amazing, Devgn sahab!
00:28:16.905 --> 00:28:18.265 align:center
You totally stole the show!
00:28:18.345 --> 00:28:20.825 align:center
What a satirical one-liner!
00:28:20.905 --> 00:28:21.745 align:center
Mic drop!
00:28:22.945 --> 00:28:23.985 align:center
Finished!
00:28:25.425 --> 00:28:27.665 align:center
You keep saying he doesn't speak,
he doesn't speak!
00:28:27.745 --> 00:28:30.705 align:center
I say, when he speaks, it's packed
with power, punch, and prestige!
00:28:30.785 --> 00:28:32.025 align:center
He speaks like that.
00:28:32.105 --> 00:28:34.625 align:center
Thank you so much, ma'am.
Lovely talking to you.
00:28:34.705 --> 00:28:37.065 align:center
Anyone else here? Yes, sir.
00:28:37.145 --> 00:28:38.905 align:center
- Sat Sri Akaal, Kapil ji.
- How are you?
00:28:38.985 --> 00:28:41.225 align:center
And greetings to the entire team.
00:28:42.065 --> 00:28:44.305 align:center
I think we should hide our glee, sir.
00:28:44.385 --> 00:28:45.985 align:center
- What type of glee?
- Any type of glee.
00:28:46.065 --> 00:28:48.305 align:center
Just don't look happy
in front of your wife.
00:28:48.385 --> 00:28:50.585 align:center
You should maintain
a serious, straight face.
00:28:51.625 --> 00:28:53.625 align:center
Just calm and quiet demeanour.
00:28:53.705 --> 00:28:56.105 align:center
We should take our inspiration
from Devgn sir.
00:28:56.185 --> 00:28:57.705 align:center
Adopt his demeanour.
00:28:58.385 --> 00:29:00.785 align:center
But the reason for that?
You didn't introduce yourself.
00:29:00.865 --> 00:29:03.825 align:center
- Amit Ahluwalia.
- Why do you feel you should hide that?
00:29:03.905 --> 00:29:05.225 align:center
Yes, Amit ji. Why?
00:29:05.305 --> 00:29:06.665 align:center
Ma'am, I feel so because
00:29:06.745 --> 00:29:09.465 align:center
if you look too happy,
they bombard you with questions.
00:29:09.545 --> 00:29:13.345 align:center
If you keep a deadpan look,
00:29:13.425 --> 00:29:16.785 align:center
you're sorted. Nothing will happen to you.
00:29:16.865 --> 00:29:19.145 align:center
- There are no questions.
- No, it doesn't work.
00:29:19.825 --> 00:29:22.185 align:center
- Keeping morose?
- If you keep a serious face, I feel,
00:29:22.265 --> 00:29:24.265 align:center
"What's wrong? What did I do?
Did I do something?"
00:29:24.345 --> 00:29:27.385 align:center
- So that becomes a problem.
- Do wives really take it that way?
00:29:27.465 --> 00:29:29.065 align:center
- Yes.
- They blame themselves.
00:29:29.145 --> 00:29:30.865 align:center
- "Is he troubled because of me?"
- Yeah.
00:29:30.945 --> 00:29:34.265 align:center
If you look happy, they'll be like,
"What's up? What happened?"
00:29:34.345 --> 00:29:36.385 align:center
- So it's always like that.
- Okay.
00:29:36.465 --> 00:29:38.905 align:center
We always have a trace of doubt
on you guys.
00:29:38.985 --> 00:29:41.265 align:center
- Where is this breed found?
- I don't think you can have
00:29:41.345 --> 00:29:42.945 align:center
a life where you guys are not doubted.
00:29:48.345 --> 00:29:49.585 align:center
"You guys" includes all of us?
00:29:49.665 --> 00:29:51.065 align:center
Yes, each and every one of us.
00:29:51.145 --> 00:29:54.345 align:center
- All right.
- So before marriage, you liked joy?
00:29:54.985 --> 00:29:58.105 align:center
I still like joy, but who gets so lucky?
00:30:06.185 --> 00:30:07.905 align:center
Sir, I still like joy--
00:30:07.985 --> 00:30:09.625 align:center
No, now you prefer suicide!
00:30:10.705 --> 00:30:12.585 align:center
Devgn Sahab is on a roll today!
00:30:12.665 --> 00:30:14.385 align:center
He's hitting back to back sixes!
00:30:18.985 --> 00:30:21.065 align:center
- Thank you. Thank you.
- Thank you, Amit.
00:30:41.265 --> 00:30:43.385 align:center
Hey, what's going on here?
00:30:43.465 --> 00:30:44.585 align:center
Hold on a second!
00:30:44.665 --> 00:30:46.265 align:center
What's going on with you guys here?
00:30:46.345 --> 00:30:49.385 align:center
- Archana ji, what's going on?
- Sidhu ji, what's going on?
00:30:49.465 --> 00:30:51.505 align:center
- What's going on with you?
- What's going on with you?
00:30:51.585 --> 00:30:52.905 align:center
- What's up with you?
- What's--
00:30:52.985 --> 00:30:54.945 align:center
Hello! What the hell
is going on with you two?
00:30:55.025 --> 00:30:56.825 align:center
Oh, everyone knows that!
00:30:56.905 --> 00:31:01.345 align:center
Across 192 countries,
only one thing is going on.
00:31:01.425 --> 00:31:04.065 align:center
Festival of laughter
00:31:04.145 --> 00:31:06.305 align:center
Festival of laughter
00:31:06.385 --> 00:31:08.705 align:center
Festival of laughter
00:31:08.785 --> 00:31:11.305 align:center
Festival of laughter
00:31:20.225 --> 00:31:21.465 align:center
Hi!
00:31:21.545 --> 00:31:22.905 align:center
- Hi!
- Namaste!
00:31:22.985 --> 00:31:24.025 align:center
- Hi!
- How are you?
00:31:24.105 --> 00:31:25.665 align:center
Hi! Hi, how are you?
00:31:25.745 --> 00:31:26.985 align:center
Hi!
00:31:30.945 --> 00:31:32.425 align:center
- Director sir.
- Yes.
00:31:32.505 --> 00:31:34.505 align:center
- You saw, right?
- Yes, you were amazing.
00:31:34.585 --> 00:31:35.945 align:center
Suspense,
00:31:36.585 --> 00:31:38.305 align:center
no matter what kind it is,
00:31:38.385 --> 00:31:40.625 align:center
can end in two seconds flat.
00:31:42.145 --> 00:31:45.145 align:center
It's not necessary to make
two or three movies out of it, okay?
00:31:45.905 --> 00:31:47.265 align:center
My God.
00:31:47.345 --> 00:31:50.585 align:center
No, sir, very frankly,
if you want to keep making parts,
00:31:50.665 --> 00:31:52.625 align:center
go right ahead, no problem.
00:31:52.705 --> 00:31:56.145 align:center
Because season after season
should just keep coming!
00:31:56.225 --> 00:31:57.465 align:center
Yeah!
00:31:59.705 --> 00:32:01.945 align:center
And today, I'm so happy
00:32:02.025 --> 00:32:04.585 align:center
that our 5th season has officially begun!
00:32:08.945 --> 00:32:10.985 align:center
I am really grateful
00:32:11.065 --> 00:32:13.305 align:center
from the bottom of my EMIs.
00:32:16.225 --> 00:32:17.545 align:center
All of our EMIs.
00:32:19.785 --> 00:32:20.705 align:center
- Hey, Mona!
- Yes.
00:32:20.785 --> 00:32:21.665 align:center
See.
00:32:21.745 --> 00:32:23.665 align:center
The season started and boni.
00:32:24.745 --> 00:32:26.545 align:center
Hey, not Boney, that's Ajay Devgn.
00:32:26.625 --> 00:32:28.705 align:center
No, I know that's Ajay Devgn.
00:32:28.785 --> 00:32:31.425 align:center
I'm just saying
that with them coming, our season's
00:32:31.505 --> 00:32:33.265 align:center
- first sale is set!
- Oh, we call that boni!
00:32:33.345 --> 00:32:37.825 align:center
Yeah. So sir, you are Boney, you're Boney,
you too, and you too, sir.
00:32:38.425 --> 00:32:40.105 align:center
But ma'am, you are a crybaby.
00:32:40.745 --> 00:32:41.665 align:center
What?
00:32:41.745 --> 00:32:45.225 align:center
Because I watched both parts of Drishyam
and you cry way too much in them!
00:32:45.305 --> 00:32:48.025 align:center
- You cry a lot--
- No, but you look very cute crying.
00:32:48.105 --> 00:32:50.985 align:center
Very pretty. But don't cry too much, okay?
00:32:51.065 --> 00:32:53.665 align:center
Or they'll select you
as a judge in a reality show.
00:32:58.305 --> 00:32:59.585 align:center
- Hey, Mona.
- Yes.
00:32:59.665 --> 00:33:01.465 align:center
Look, Mrunal!
00:33:01.545 --> 00:33:04.025 align:center
- She was so young!
- Oh my God, yes!
00:33:04.105 --> 00:33:05.905 align:center
She's grown so much!
00:33:05.985 --> 00:33:08.465 align:center
If she is asked, "Where are you from?"
00:33:08.545 --> 00:33:11.785 align:center
She says, "I was born in Mumbai,
but brought up in Drishyam!"
00:33:18.625 --> 00:33:20.705 align:center
If someone asks her, "What's your hobby?"
00:33:20.785 --> 00:33:22.265 align:center
She says, "Hiding evidence."
00:33:24.625 --> 00:33:25.705 align:center
Oh my God!
00:33:25.785 --> 00:33:26.985 align:center
Really, Ajay sir,
00:33:27.065 --> 00:33:29.585 align:center
this Drishyam fever has infected everyone.
00:33:29.665 --> 00:33:31.185 align:center
Hey, did you notice?
00:33:31.265 --> 00:33:33.465 align:center
- What? Oh, yes!
- Tabu ji didn't come.
00:33:33.545 --> 00:33:36.225 align:center
- I know why she didn't come.
- Why?
00:33:36.305 --> 00:33:39.465 align:center
My God, she's so engrossed
in her character…
00:33:39.545 --> 00:33:43.105 align:center
Someone told me, she is
still roaming in Goa with a shovel.
00:33:52.385 --> 00:33:53.225 align:center
Ajay sir,
00:33:53.945 --> 00:33:56.025 align:center
she's digging up entire Goa
00:33:56.105 --> 00:33:58.265 align:center
thinking, "The body must be here."
00:33:58.345 --> 00:33:59.705 align:center
Ajay sir, there was a time
00:33:59.785 --> 00:34:03.265 align:center
when Mukesh Chhabra used to accompany
Tabu ji in award functions,
00:34:03.345 --> 00:34:04.985 align:center
now shovel accompanies her.
00:34:09.225 --> 00:34:11.985 align:center
Sir, how come you're sitting so relaxed?
00:34:12.665 --> 00:34:14.225 align:center
Sir, please go and hide!
00:34:14.304 --> 00:34:16.545 align:center
- Why?
- You know Tukaram Munde ji?
00:34:16.625 --> 00:34:18.385 align:center
- Yes.
- He's patrolling this area!
00:34:18.465 --> 00:34:20.705 align:center
He can raid you anytime!
00:34:20.784 --> 00:34:22.625 align:center
Did you have a donkey for breakfast
or what?
00:34:24.025 --> 00:34:27.705 align:center
He raids adulteration, not Ahlawat!
00:34:29.824 --> 00:34:32.905 align:center
- Oh!
- She's a fool. Totally brainless.
00:34:32.985 --> 00:34:36.065 align:center
- Running her mouth anywhere, anytime.
- Sorry, sorry, sir.
00:34:36.145 --> 00:34:39.264 align:center
Sir, my bad. Actually, whenever I met you,
00:34:39.344 --> 00:34:41.304 align:center
I saw only Jaideep.
00:34:41.385 --> 00:34:44.185 align:center
I never got a chance to see your Ahlawat.
00:34:45.824 --> 00:34:47.585 align:center
Can I tell you the truth?
00:34:51.185 --> 00:34:52.145 align:center
Can I?
00:34:52.744 --> 00:34:54.385 align:center
- Yes please.
- Your and…
00:34:55.545 --> 00:34:57.385 align:center
Shriya ji's pairing
looks really good together.
00:34:57.465 --> 00:34:58.705 align:center
Hey, wait a minute.
00:34:58.784 --> 00:35:02.265 align:center
Everybody says that Ajay sir
and Shriya ji's pairing looks good.
00:35:02.345 --> 00:35:05.145 align:center
Yeah, everybody compliments them.
He is left out.
00:35:09.465 --> 00:35:11.585 align:center
It doesn't look good. He's our guest.
00:35:12.305 --> 00:35:14.865 align:center
- Thank you.
- You girls are also looking good together.
00:35:14.945 --> 00:35:18.065 align:center
You're looking like Jaikant Shikre
and Gaitonde wearing costumers.
00:35:19.705 --> 00:35:21.505 align:center
Looks like Gaitonde's tonde
is bulging out!
00:35:23.785 --> 00:35:25.465 align:center
Excuse me, sir!
00:35:25.545 --> 00:35:28.825 align:center
I'd request you
to mind your manners with us.
00:35:28.905 --> 00:35:31.825 align:center
We are not the old Sona-Mona anymore!
00:35:31.905 --> 00:35:33.105 align:center
Gotten stupider?
00:35:34.545 --> 00:35:36.345 align:center
We have been promoted.
00:35:36.425 --> 00:35:40.265 align:center
- We are now Sona-Mona 2.0!
- Yes!
00:35:44.785 --> 00:35:46.185 align:center
Remember, Kaps,
00:35:47.225 --> 00:35:49.065 align:center
you know this airport, right?
00:35:49.145 --> 00:35:50.905 align:center
It belongs to us!
00:35:50.985 --> 00:35:52.705 align:center
And we are this airport's
00:35:52.785 --> 00:35:55.585 align:center
- Sona-Mona 2.0!
- Sona-Mona 2.0!
00:36:00.705 --> 00:36:02.745 align:center
I won't spare anyone!
00:36:03.585 --> 00:36:05.985 align:center
Hey. They turned the echo off.
00:36:07.105 --> 00:36:08.985 align:center
Sorry, echo failed,
otherwise that was massive!
00:36:09.065 --> 00:36:11.025 align:center
When you invented these lines,
00:36:11.105 --> 00:36:13.665 align:center
did you expect clapping, or laughter?
00:36:18.785 --> 00:36:21.185 align:center
Sir, don't take us lightly.
00:36:21.265 --> 00:36:22.665 align:center
Of course, you aren't light at all!
00:36:25.825 --> 00:36:28.145 align:center
We've stopped massive VIPs
right here at the airport!
00:36:28.225 --> 00:36:29.185 align:center
Yeah?
00:36:29.265 --> 00:36:32.145 align:center
Ajay sir, what's the name
of that director of yours, Indra Kumar?
00:36:32.225 --> 00:36:34.705 align:center
- Yeah.
- He showed up. When we checked him in,
00:36:34.785 --> 00:36:36.385 align:center
"Kumar" cleared out,
00:36:36.465 --> 00:36:37.705 align:center
but "Indra" got stuck indoors!
00:36:38.785 --> 00:36:40.505 align:center
So much stress, we were doing
00:36:40.585 --> 00:36:43.345 align:center
in-there, out-there, in-there, out-there,
in-there, out-there!
00:36:43.425 --> 00:36:46.105 align:center
Oh my God! Then we sent four guys inside.
00:36:46.185 --> 00:36:48.825 align:center
They did a whole Dhamaal 4 with him,
only then Indra came out!
00:36:48.905 --> 00:36:50.145 align:center
Otherwise he was just stuck!
00:36:51.745 --> 00:36:53.905 align:center
Sir, that Jaykant Shikre of yours?
00:36:53.985 --> 00:36:54.905 align:center
He came too.
00:36:54.985 --> 00:36:57.225 align:center
His "Jay" got cleared,
his "Kant" got cleared too.
00:36:57.305 --> 00:36:58.505 align:center
His "Shikre" got stuck.
00:37:00.065 --> 00:37:02.705 align:center
Now, we have no clue
how to extract his "Shikre"
00:37:02.785 --> 00:37:05.625 align:center
so right now we are learning.
00:37:05.705 --> 00:37:08.105 align:center
Once we fully learn it,
00:37:08.185 --> 00:37:10.585 align:center
we'll extract his "Shikre" too.
00:37:10.665 --> 00:37:13.705 align:center
Is Sunil Pal coaching you or what?
00:37:18.145 --> 00:37:21.025 align:center
One minute, sir.
You guys came from Goa, right?
00:37:21.945 --> 00:37:23.665 align:center
Sir, your baggage will be checked too.
00:37:23.745 --> 00:37:25.825 align:center
- Yes, bag-checking is a must.
- One minute.
00:37:25.905 --> 00:37:27.825 align:center
- Everyone will be--
- Everyone will be checked.
00:37:27.905 --> 00:37:29.585 align:center
No one will be spared today.
00:37:29.665 --> 00:37:31.145 align:center
Look at this.
00:37:31.225 --> 00:37:33.225 align:center
"Ajay Devgn's bag."
00:37:33.305 --> 00:37:35.865 align:center
This will be the first to be checked.
00:37:36.705 --> 00:37:38.145 align:center
Dead body! Dead body!
00:37:38.225 --> 00:37:40.865 align:center
Where's the loss?
It's pure profit, the season just started!
00:37:40.945 --> 00:37:42.705 align:center
Not loss, dead body!
00:37:44.465 --> 00:37:45.665 align:center
Oh my God!
00:37:46.465 --> 00:37:48.105 align:center
- What's this?
- Ajay sir,
00:37:48.185 --> 00:37:50.745 align:center
so this is where you hid the body!
00:37:50.825 --> 00:37:52.745 align:center
This is the dead body!
00:37:53.385 --> 00:37:55.625 align:center
Poor Tabu ji, digging away in Goa in vain!
00:37:56.865 --> 00:37:58.865 align:center
Hello, excuse me.
00:37:58.945 --> 00:38:01.545 align:center
- And the body is in Mumbai!
- Excuse me.
00:38:03.665 --> 00:38:05.385 align:center
- Ghost!
- Ghost!
00:38:05.465 --> 00:38:07.545 align:center
I am not a ghost.
00:38:07.625 --> 00:38:10.465 align:center
I just got drunk and sleeping in a lift.
00:38:11.345 --> 00:38:12.825 align:center
Someone closed the lift.
00:38:12.905 --> 00:38:15.585 align:center
- How did you end up in a bag?
- You were not sleeping in a lift.
00:38:15.665 --> 00:38:19.145 align:center
You were sleeping in a bag,
someone closed the zip!
00:38:19.265 --> 00:38:20.105 align:center
Okay.
00:38:20.185 --> 00:38:23.545 align:center
- Hey! Come here!
- No sitting back down.
00:38:23.625 --> 00:38:26.545 align:center
That's why I said,
"Don't write dialogues for dead bodies."
00:38:30.425 --> 00:38:33.745 align:center
- "Don't write dialogues for--"
- We made you rehearse it, didn't we?
00:38:35.265 --> 00:38:38.225 align:center
He was your responsibility
to take care of.
00:38:38.305 --> 00:38:40.225 align:center
You should've checked in the morning.
00:38:40.305 --> 00:38:42.985 align:center
But you also got promoted
to a senior role--
00:38:43.065 --> 00:38:46.025 align:center
- So did you. It was your job.
- Enough, now!
00:38:47.545 --> 00:38:48.825 align:center
What are you guys up to?
00:38:49.545 --> 00:38:50.705 align:center
Everyone knows
00:38:50.785 --> 00:38:54.745 align:center
the only thing going on in 192 countries.
00:38:54.825 --> 00:38:57.585 align:center
Festival of laughter
00:38:57.665 --> 00:38:59.585 align:center
Festival of laughter
00:38:59.665 --> 00:39:01.825 align:center
Festival of laughter
00:39:01.905 --> 00:39:04.225 align:center
Festival of laughter
00:39:17.385 --> 00:39:20.225 align:center
- Bye! Thank you. My god.
- Okay, bye!
00:39:20.865 --> 00:39:21.985 align:center
Bye bye.
00:39:29.985 --> 00:39:33.625 align:center
We have some pictures of you.
00:39:33.705 --> 00:39:37.545 align:center
Let's read people's comments,
just for fun. Let's go.
00:39:40.105 --> 00:39:44.145 align:center
KOMMENTER'S KRAVING
00:39:44.865 --> 00:39:46.105 align:center
Oh!
00:39:46.185 --> 00:39:49.025 align:center
Oh, wow! Mr. Devgn's wedding photo.
00:39:49.105 --> 00:39:51.185 align:center
"Whatever happened,
happened for the best."
00:39:52.745 --> 00:39:55.665 align:center
- Wow! 28 years.
- Twenty-eight. Is it?
00:39:56.425 --> 00:39:59.185 align:center
Reveal the comments. Why does it say
"How did it happen?"
00:40:00.745 --> 00:40:02.785 align:center
"Did you arrive to the wedding
on two horses?"
00:40:04.745 --> 00:40:07.945 align:center
Someone's replied,
"When a person is getting married,
00:40:08.025 --> 00:40:11.065 align:center
they don't need to perform other stunts."
00:40:14.905 --> 00:40:16.785 align:center
Oh! Show us more.
00:40:18.385 --> 00:40:22.185 align:center
"Why do wedding photos end up
looking like peace treaty signings?"
00:40:25.865 --> 00:40:28.225 align:center
- Peace treaty.
- Show us more.
00:40:29.985 --> 00:40:31.025 align:center
Shriya says,
00:40:31.105 --> 00:40:34.225 align:center
"Behind every thread is a family,
a tradition, and days of hard work."
00:40:34.305 --> 00:40:37.305 align:center
"Our weavers keep our history alive
in the most beautiful way."
00:40:37.385 --> 00:40:39.065 align:center
Wow! What does it mean?
00:40:39.785 --> 00:40:42.265 align:center
- That day was Handloom Day.
- I see.
00:40:42.345 --> 00:40:44.265 align:center
So it's about the hand-woven saree.
00:40:44.345 --> 00:40:48.065 align:center
You look lovely, like a flower
sitting amidst flowers, wearing a saree.
00:40:48.745 --> 00:40:50.065 align:center
Enough already, Kapil!
00:40:53.145 --> 00:40:54.505 align:center
Let's read the comments.
00:40:55.705 --> 00:40:59.065 align:center
"In a wedding, the girls are given
flower decoration duties.
00:40:59.145 --> 00:41:01.985 align:center
"We boys are made to lift gas cylinders."
00:41:02.065 --> 00:41:03.625 align:center
The comment is correct.
00:41:04.505 --> 00:41:07.065 align:center
No flower duties.
They ask boys to shell peas.
00:41:08.665 --> 00:41:10.745 align:center
"Ensure the sweet maker doesn't scam us."
00:41:10.825 --> 00:41:13.505 align:center
But have you done such duties
at home weddings, Kapil?
00:41:13.585 --> 00:41:15.825 align:center
I've done lots, ma'am.
Times have changed now.
00:41:15.905 --> 00:41:17.265 align:center
Did you know
00:41:17.345 --> 00:41:19.945 align:center
event companies arrange it all these days.
00:41:20.025 --> 00:41:24.105 align:center
They plan events where the whole family
peels vegetables together.
00:41:24.185 --> 00:41:27.825 align:center
And this happened back in the day.
00:41:27.905 --> 00:41:30.945 align:center
- It's true, Shriya.
- Yes. Small town weddings are like that.
00:41:31.025 --> 00:41:33.265 align:center
- Yes.
- Everyone would work together.
00:41:33.345 --> 00:41:34.705 align:center
I'm from a small town too.
00:41:34.785 --> 00:41:36.225 align:center
Did you do that at your wedding?
00:41:36.305 --> 00:41:38.585 align:center
- I showed up.
- It's a big deal he even showed up.
00:41:38.665 --> 00:41:41.865 align:center
Was there any duty to ensure
the bride wouldn't run away?
00:41:43.505 --> 00:41:45.985 align:center
They kept me busy
so I wouldn't run away with her.
00:41:50.985 --> 00:41:54.465 align:center
Have you worked like that
at family weddings?
00:41:54.545 --> 00:41:56.785 align:center
In small towns, they make you work.
00:41:56.865 --> 00:41:59.185 align:center
- What's your small town?
- Haridwar.
00:41:59.265 --> 00:42:00.985 align:center
Haridwar. I see!
00:42:01.065 --> 00:42:03.305 align:center
- Near Dehradun.
- You're born and brought up in Haridwar?
00:42:03.385 --> 00:42:06.385 align:center
- Yes. We had those duties.
- True.
00:42:06.465 --> 00:42:08.185 align:center
"Clean that up."
00:42:08.265 --> 00:42:13.345 align:center
"Make a flower decoration. Apply a coating
of cow dung." I've done it all.
00:42:13.425 --> 00:42:16.825 align:center
You don't have a Haridwar personality.
More like Maldives.
00:42:16.905 --> 00:42:19.665 align:center
- Maldives!
- That's the image you give.
00:42:20.665 --> 00:42:21.505 align:center
Show us more.
00:42:23.065 --> 00:42:24.265 align:center
Oh! Jaideep bhai!
00:42:26.465 --> 00:42:28.465 align:center
From 109 kilos
00:42:29.385 --> 00:42:32.705 align:center
to 83 kilos, in five months. Wow!
00:42:32.785 --> 00:42:35.025 align:center
This is from the Maharaj era.
Wow, Jaideep.
00:42:35.105 --> 00:42:37.825 align:center
But, Jaideep, what did you do
to achieve this?
00:42:37.905 --> 00:42:42.345 align:center
Ma'am, I had four to five months free.
I'd started just after lockdown.
00:42:42.425 --> 00:42:44.025 align:center
But people overeat when free.
00:42:44.105 --> 00:42:46.305 align:center
For five months, all I did was train…
00:42:47.265 --> 00:42:50.345 align:center
sleep, eat, train, sleep, eat. That's all.
00:42:50.425 --> 00:42:52.065 align:center
I'd train thrice a day.
00:42:52.785 --> 00:42:54.385 align:center
And eat, and sleep. That's all.
00:42:59.225 --> 00:43:01.505 align:center
He lost weight.
And I fell pregnant in lockdown.
00:43:01.585 --> 00:43:04.265 align:center
He did just one thing.
And she did her one thing too.
00:43:12.385 --> 00:43:13.305 align:center
I couldn't resist.
00:43:15.825 --> 00:43:18.145 align:center
That was so cool, Jaideep.
Let's read the comments.
00:43:19.065 --> 00:43:22.545 align:center
"Jaideep Failawat versus Jaideep Ahlawat."
00:43:24.345 --> 00:43:25.185 align:center
Show us more.
00:43:26.905 --> 00:43:30.025 align:center
"Eating at your in-laws' versus
eating what you earn yourself."
00:43:35.225 --> 00:43:39.025 align:center
Do in-laws really feed you that much?
00:43:39.105 --> 00:43:41.025 align:center
Keep scrolling.
00:43:42.105 --> 00:43:44.905 align:center
"In the left-side photo,
your navel looks shocked."
00:43:45.705 --> 00:43:49.145 align:center
"In the right one, it looks sad.
When is your navel happy?"
00:43:49.225 --> 00:43:52.425 align:center
- Oh, man.
- Wow! Such details.
00:43:54.225 --> 00:43:55.785 align:center
Such a detailed punchline!
00:43:58.785 --> 00:44:01.425 align:center
- Who are these people? Wow.
- This is creativity.
00:44:01.505 --> 00:44:04.625 align:center
Actually, when you pile on weight,
your navel goes like this.
00:44:06.425 --> 00:44:08.265 align:center
In the other one, the navel is like…
00:44:09.985 --> 00:44:10.985 align:center
Show us more.
00:44:11.065 --> 00:44:14.145 align:center
"With a belly like that, you won't hurt
your face even if you fall."
00:44:24.145 --> 00:44:24.985 align:center
More, please.
00:44:25.065 --> 00:44:27.225 align:center
Shriya uploaded this photo.
00:44:27.305 --> 00:44:28.865 align:center
I was on a holiday.
00:44:28.945 --> 00:44:30.465 align:center
- In Jodhpur?
- Yes.
00:44:31.705 --> 00:44:32.945 align:center
Let's read the comments.
00:44:34.825 --> 00:44:39.145 align:center
"You've praised the shawl-maker.
If I'd known, I'd be a blanket."
00:44:40.185 --> 00:44:42.425 align:center
"If you went to the gym,
I'd be a dumbbell."
00:44:42.505 --> 00:44:43.705 align:center
Wow!
00:44:43.785 --> 00:44:46.385 align:center
- "If you were a deer, I'd be a jungle."
- Wow!
00:44:46.465 --> 00:44:49.745 align:center
"If you're ready to be an aunty,
I'd be an uncle."
00:44:49.825 --> 00:44:50.665 align:center
Oh god!
00:44:51.985 --> 00:44:54.185 align:center
Wow!
00:44:54.265 --> 00:44:55.785 align:center
Someone's replied,
00:44:55.865 --> 00:44:58.145 align:center
"If you'd read some books,
you'd be an IAS officer."
00:45:01.145 --> 00:45:02.785 align:center
The first guy wrote back,
00:45:02.865 --> 00:45:05.545 align:center
"If you hadn't read my poetry,
you'd be someone big too."
00:45:09.065 --> 00:45:10.745 align:center
That was good.
00:45:10.825 --> 00:45:12.025 align:center
- Show us more.
- So cool!
00:45:13.065 --> 00:45:16.665 align:center
Someone has rightly said, "Love is blind."
They're using a lantern in broad daylight.
00:45:20.705 --> 00:45:21.945 align:center
More, please.
00:45:23.545 --> 00:45:27.105 align:center
Jaideep's photo caption says,
"Hathiram Chaudhary with the Master ji."
00:45:27.185 --> 00:45:29.065 align:center
The original Bogeyman.
00:45:29.145 --> 00:45:30.185 align:center
Let's read the comments.
00:45:31.945 --> 00:45:34.625 align:center
"Two brothers-in-law
exchanging wedding blankets."
00:45:36.665 --> 00:45:38.625 align:center
I'm hearing 'saandu' after so long.
00:45:39.425 --> 00:45:40.265 align:center
More, please.
00:45:40.345 --> 00:45:42.465 align:center
Yes, in Punjabi, they call him 'saandu.'
00:45:43.145 --> 00:45:46.705 align:center
"When I have too much flight luggage,
this is how I wear my clothes."
00:45:49.065 --> 00:45:51.065 align:center
- I've done that.
- What?
00:45:51.145 --> 00:45:56.465 align:center
I had extra luggage so I wore boots
and jacket in the summer.
00:45:56.545 --> 00:45:58.065 align:center
Frugality. Very good!
00:45:58.145 --> 00:45:59.785 align:center
I wore a sweater too.
00:46:01.505 --> 00:46:04.545 align:center
So you wore three to four
kilos of clothes.
00:46:04.625 --> 00:46:06.705 align:center
I wanted to save on the extra fare.
00:46:09.705 --> 00:46:11.225 align:center
Good thinking!
00:46:11.305 --> 00:46:15.025 align:center
Actually, when you visit home,
they give you a box of sweets.
00:46:15.105 --> 00:46:18.625 align:center
The box is for 200 rupees, but the luggage
folks charge 800 rupees per kilo.
00:46:18.705 --> 00:46:20.945 align:center
The sweets become costlier by 600 rupees.
00:46:21.025 --> 00:46:22.425 align:center
Show us the comments.
00:46:23.585 --> 00:46:28.065 align:center
"You've got a blanket. Now, squat down,
and we can arrange for some flatbread."
00:46:30.025 --> 00:46:32.785 align:center
"I speak from personal experience."
00:46:35.425 --> 00:46:37.265 align:center
- More, please.
- Such a spicy comment.
00:46:37.345 --> 00:46:38.425 align:center
Are we done?
00:46:38.505 --> 00:46:40.505 align:center
Thank you.
00:46:46.465 --> 00:46:50.145 align:center
Sir, the festive season
and our show have just begun.
00:46:50.225 --> 00:46:52.505 align:center
We've dedicated this to Indian festivals.
00:46:52.585 --> 00:46:54.945 align:center
I'd like to ask everyone.
Let's start Mrunal.
00:46:55.025 --> 00:46:58.265 align:center
You're the youngest.
What's your favourite festival?
00:46:58.345 --> 00:46:59.665 align:center
- Holi.
- Why?
00:46:59.745 --> 00:47:01.625 align:center
I love being fully covered in colours.
00:47:01.705 --> 00:47:05.145 align:center
You can speak freely.
This is not an interrogation.
00:47:05.225 --> 00:47:07.065 align:center
It's okay if your statement wavers.
00:47:07.145 --> 00:47:09.665 align:center
Basically, I love getting
drenched in colours,
00:47:09.745 --> 00:47:13.625 align:center
and drenching my friends too.
00:47:13.705 --> 00:47:15.025 align:center
What's your favourite festival?
00:47:15.105 --> 00:47:16.705 align:center
Holi. I played Holi even at my wedding.
00:47:16.785 --> 00:47:18.185 align:center
Oh, really?
00:47:18.265 --> 00:47:19.465 align:center
Cannabis.
00:47:19.545 --> 00:47:21.745 align:center
You do cannabis too?
00:47:21.825 --> 00:47:22.945 align:center
During Holi?
00:47:23.825 --> 00:47:25.265 align:center
Cannabis is dangerous, man.
00:47:26.385 --> 00:47:29.065 align:center
The scooter's kick is on the right,
but I kept kicking on the left.
00:47:33.945 --> 00:47:36.145 align:center
If you start crying, you keep on crying.
00:47:36.945 --> 00:47:39.705 align:center
- And it goes on for a few days.
- Yes. Really.
00:47:39.785 --> 00:47:42.665 align:center
You get stuck on that one emotion.
Sadness, crying, laughing.
00:47:42.745 --> 00:47:45.825 align:center
My constant emotion is happiness. Smiling.
00:47:45.905 --> 00:47:49.185 align:center
But if you get stuck on the wrong emotion,
you're done for.
00:47:51.905 --> 00:47:53.865 align:center
Kapil got stuck on an emotion.
00:47:53.945 --> 00:47:57.545 align:center
Once he had cannabis during Holi,
and started flirting.
00:47:57.625 --> 00:47:59.425 align:center
He still hasn't stopped.
00:48:04.505 --> 00:48:06.705 align:center
Once she had cannabis,
and went to the bank.
00:48:06.785 --> 00:48:09.065 align:center
Since then, she hasn't stopped
thinking about money.
00:48:13.905 --> 00:48:17.345 align:center
Where were we?
Ajay sir, what's your favourite festival?
00:48:17.425 --> 00:48:19.905 align:center
I don't have a favourite. I like them all.
00:48:19.985 --> 00:48:21.425 align:center
- Really?
- Holi, Diwali.
00:48:21.505 --> 00:48:24.625 align:center
I don't play with colours
or burst firecrackers.
00:48:24.705 --> 00:48:30.425 align:center
I like celebrating
with family and friends.
00:48:30.505 --> 00:48:32.585 align:center
So, celebrating with your loved ones.
00:48:33.585 --> 00:48:35.465 align:center
Ishita, what about you?
00:48:35.545 --> 00:48:36.665 align:center
Durga Puja.
00:48:36.745 --> 00:48:37.945 align:center
Durga Puja.
00:48:38.025 --> 00:48:40.585 align:center
I'm a typical Bengali. I love dressing up,
00:48:40.665 --> 00:48:42.865 align:center
wearing sarees, going to the feast,
having food.
00:48:42.945 --> 00:48:46.345 align:center
- Bombay has nice feasts too.
- Yes. It does.
00:48:46.425 --> 00:48:48.625 align:center
What about you, Pathak sahab?
00:48:48.705 --> 00:48:50.745 align:center
Or do you only like
the different Drishyam parts?
00:48:50.825 --> 00:48:54.345 align:center
- That's a given.
- Isn't it? Part one, two, three.
00:48:54.425 --> 00:48:56.705 align:center
I like Diwali, without firecrackers.
00:48:56.785 --> 00:48:58.305 align:center
Without firecrackers?
00:48:58.385 --> 00:49:01.905 align:center
It's better to set the mood with friends,
rather than noise and pollution.
00:49:01.985 --> 00:49:04.345 align:center
It's a holiday, so you can earn money too.
00:49:04.425 --> 00:49:06.945 align:center
He's talking about gambling on Diwali.
00:49:07.025 --> 00:49:09.425 align:center
I've always feared firecrackers.
00:49:09.505 --> 00:49:10.585 align:center
Oh, really?
00:49:10.665 --> 00:49:13.585 align:center
- You fear firecrackers?
- Not "firecracker".
00:49:16.985 --> 00:49:18.705 align:center
So, should we fear you?
00:49:19.985 --> 00:49:23.185 align:center
- Kapil, what are you trying to say?
- What?
00:49:23.265 --> 00:49:24.625 align:center
My mother-in-law is here too.
00:49:26.145 --> 00:49:26.985 align:center
I… Mummy…
00:49:31.265 --> 00:49:32.545 align:center
What can I say?
00:49:33.545 --> 00:49:35.785 align:center
Jaideep bhai,
what's your favourite festival?
00:49:35.865 --> 00:49:39.745 align:center
Nothing these days.
But back in the village,
00:49:39.825 --> 00:49:41.865 align:center
Holi was a little brutal.
00:49:41.945 --> 00:49:45.745 align:center
Women drench their scarves
and knot them.
00:49:45.825 --> 00:49:47.985 align:center
- Oh, that hurts!
- They hit with that.
00:49:48.065 --> 00:49:49.985 align:center
On Holi? Yes.
00:49:50.065 --> 00:49:52.425 align:center
The wet scarf is a tradition.
00:49:52.505 --> 00:49:53.785 align:center
And…
00:49:53.865 --> 00:49:56.945 align:center
It's a game. The women hit
their brothers-in-law.
00:49:57.025 --> 00:49:58.785 align:center
But why only the women?
00:49:58.865 --> 00:50:00.705 align:center
That's how the culture is.
00:50:00.785 --> 00:50:03.665 align:center
- Good. Women finally get their chance.
- Actually, yes.
00:50:03.745 --> 00:50:06.345 align:center
In his village, wives beat up men
only on Holi.
00:50:07.625 --> 00:50:10.425 align:center
Over at hers, Holi is the one day
they don't do it.
00:50:10.505 --> 00:50:13.705 align:center
It's a game between women
and their brothers-in-laws, not husbands.
00:50:13.785 --> 00:50:16.905 align:center
She need not wet her scarf.
Her wet hand is enough. "Parmeet!"
00:50:20.385 --> 00:50:24.505 align:center
Parmeet's body has bent into an arc.
That's how much she's beaten him.
00:50:26.185 --> 00:50:31.305 align:center
My favourite is Diwali.
The lamps, the new clothes…
00:50:31.385 --> 00:50:34.865 align:center
And this new trend
of making everything theme-based…
00:50:34.945 --> 00:50:37.625 align:center
We have a Ganesha idol in our home.
00:50:37.705 --> 00:50:39.825 align:center
Ginni set a uniform theme.
00:50:39.905 --> 00:50:41.785 align:center
One day we're yellow, the next, blue.
00:50:43.225 --> 00:50:46.025 align:center
Back in the day,
themes happened out of necessity.
00:50:46.105 --> 00:50:49.105 align:center
All the brothers got similar shirts
made from the same cloth.
00:50:49.185 --> 00:50:52.145 align:center
And the mother got
her blouse made with leftover cloth.
00:50:53.225 --> 00:50:56.945 align:center
Her top half would resemble your brother,
and her bottom half, your sister.
00:50:59.905 --> 00:51:01.665 align:center
We'd reuse the same clothes.
00:51:01.745 --> 00:51:04.865 align:center
Until the eighth standard,
we had an ethnic uniform, not pants.
00:51:04.945 --> 00:51:05.785 align:center
Yes.
00:51:05.865 --> 00:51:08.345 align:center
From the ninth standard onwards,
it was pants.
00:51:08.425 --> 00:51:11.545 align:center
Now, you're growing up,
and gaining weight,
00:51:12.465 --> 00:51:13.545 align:center
and getting taller.
00:51:13.625 --> 00:51:16.225 align:center
So, next year, we'd get
the same pants altered.
00:51:16.305 --> 00:51:19.905 align:center
- And the back would form a V-shape.
- Yeah, exactly.
00:51:19.985 --> 00:51:22.665 align:center
- Its colour would be different.
- Yes.
00:51:22.745 --> 00:51:24.945 align:center
The colour of the hem
would be different too.
00:51:25.025 --> 00:51:27.385 align:center
- Yes.
- This is what we used to do.
00:51:27.465 --> 00:51:30.185 align:center
It felt like
I was wearing my own old trouser.
00:51:30.265 --> 00:51:32.865 align:center
At our school,
the skirt kept unfolding every season.
00:51:32.945 --> 00:51:33.945 align:center
Exactly!
00:51:34.025 --> 00:51:36.705 align:center
The same skirt we used to wear
even while growing up.
00:51:36.785 --> 00:51:38.865 align:center
Its colour used to be different though.
00:51:38.945 --> 00:51:40.705 align:center
But that's a beautiful emotion!
00:52:11.465 --> 00:52:13.225 align:center
Oh, my God!
00:52:26.185 --> 00:52:27.585 align:center
Don't focus on the words,
focus on the visuals.
00:52:28.425 --> 00:52:31.345 align:center
That lies always find a way
to hide themselves.
00:52:32.105 --> 00:52:33.425 align:center
But the visuals…
00:52:33.505 --> 00:52:35.225 align:center
The visuals never lie!
00:52:36.145 --> 00:52:37.265 align:center
So,
00:52:37.345 --> 00:52:39.985 align:center
the question is not
what's in front of you.
00:52:40.065 --> 00:52:42.025 align:center
The question is,
00:52:42.105 --> 00:52:43.345 align:center
what are you looking at?
00:52:52.345 --> 00:52:54.585 align:center
I was betrayed by my own.
00:52:56.825 --> 00:52:58.465 align:center
Outsiders weren't brave enough.
00:52:59.505 --> 00:53:00.785 align:center
In Drishyam 2,
00:53:00.865 --> 00:53:03.825 align:center
thriller and suspense was there,
but romance not enough.
00:53:06.905 --> 00:53:09.025 align:center
I thought of getting sweets for you,
00:53:10.105 --> 00:53:11.305 align:center
but I didn't.
00:53:12.425 --> 00:53:15.385 align:center
Your family hasn't opened their mouths,
so you won't either.
00:53:16.985 --> 00:53:18.305 align:center
It's been 11 years.
00:53:20.985 --> 00:53:22.545 align:center
Why don't you reveal
00:53:22.625 --> 00:53:24.225 align:center
where you hid the dead body?
00:53:24.745 --> 00:53:26.625 align:center
I dug up the whole of Goa.
00:53:27.345 --> 00:53:30.665 align:center
In fact, I'm telling Goans
that metro construction is going on.
00:53:37.385 --> 00:53:39.025 align:center
Give me a scissor.
00:53:42.945 --> 00:53:44.065 align:center
What's the scissor for?
00:53:51.865 --> 00:53:53.985 align:center
Season 5 inauguration!
00:53:55.105 --> 00:53:56.505 align:center
Season 5.
00:53:56.585 --> 00:53:59.745 align:center
That is not an opening ribbon,
it said "Do Not Cross The Line."
00:54:02.345 --> 00:54:03.545 align:center
This is me.
00:54:04.905 --> 00:54:07.465 align:center
- This is me.
- What do you mean?
00:54:07.545 --> 00:54:11.025 align:center
I mean, I am an SI! A Sub Inspector!
00:54:11.105 --> 00:54:12.265 align:center
SI.
00:54:15.225 --> 00:54:17.105 align:center
I can't stand repetition!
00:54:19.105 --> 00:54:21.305 align:center
The only one who has the guts is…
00:54:22.305 --> 00:54:24.505 align:center
Bajirao Birmingham!
00:54:27.385 --> 00:54:29.585 align:center
- Birmingham, the UK city?
- Exactly.
00:54:30.265 --> 00:54:31.905 align:center
From UK, ADDA province.
00:54:31.985 --> 00:54:33.585 align:center
Jaideep ji,
00:54:33.665 --> 00:54:37.425 align:center
let me explain what ADDA means.
Ajay Devgn Duplicate Association!
00:54:39.785 --> 00:54:41.905 align:center
We are spread across the world.
00:54:44.025 --> 00:54:47.065 align:center
You can throw a stone
from any corner of the world,
00:54:47.145 --> 00:54:49.505 align:center
it'll hit one of
the duplicate Ajay Devgns.
00:54:51.865 --> 00:54:53.465 align:center
Don't you believe me?
00:54:54.705 --> 00:54:56.265 align:center
See for yourself!
00:54:56.345 --> 00:54:58.625 align:center
Blood! Blood! Blood!
00:54:59.945 --> 00:55:01.785 align:center
I was hit by my own people.
00:55:02.665 --> 00:55:04.505 align:center
Outsiders weren't brave enough.
00:55:04.585 --> 00:55:06.425 align:center
I was hit by the one
00:55:06.505 --> 00:55:08.185 align:center
who was an ADDA member.
00:55:14.825 --> 00:55:16.545 align:center
Show me your ADDA card.
00:55:17.425 --> 00:55:18.665 align:center
- Are you a member?
- Yes.
00:55:19.225 --> 00:55:21.585 align:center
Correct! Don't worry,
00:55:22.145 --> 00:55:23.825 align:center
I will get you treated by CHADDA.
00:55:25.025 --> 00:55:26.345 align:center
ADDA and CHADDA! Wow!
00:55:26.425 --> 00:55:29.785 align:center
- What does it mean?
- It's CHADDA.
00:55:30.825 --> 00:55:33.065 align:center
Charity of Ajay Devgn
Duplicate Association.
00:55:38.265 --> 00:55:39.505 align:center
Ajay ji,
00:55:40.865 --> 00:55:42.305 align:center
you please tread carefully.
00:55:43.745 --> 00:55:47.025 align:center
Because the association gets affected
by everything you do.
00:55:49.185 --> 00:55:50.225 align:center
For example,
00:55:50.785 --> 00:55:55.505 align:center
he has completed his BA and B.Ed,
though he doesn't look so smart.
00:55:55.585 --> 00:55:59.945 align:center
- Completed what?
- BA and B.Ed but he's famous as a dropout!
00:56:00.025 --> 00:56:02.105 align:center
Because you are a dropout in the movie.
00:56:02.185 --> 00:56:03.785 align:center
Look at him.
00:56:04.385 --> 00:56:05.585 align:center
Look…
00:56:06.145 --> 00:56:08.905 align:center
People ask him when he went to Panjim.
00:56:09.785 --> 00:56:11.025 align:center
Forget Panjim,
00:56:11.585 --> 00:56:13.185 align:center
he's never been to a gym.
00:56:13.985 --> 00:56:16.545 align:center
Why would he go to Panjim
if gym is in his building?
00:56:18.345 --> 00:56:19.385 align:center
Never went to gym!
00:56:19.465 --> 00:56:23.465 align:center
He's asked where he has hidden the body,
the truth is he has never had a body.
00:56:30.825 --> 00:56:31.785 align:center
But…
00:56:32.985 --> 00:56:35.305 align:center
you have to tread carefully.
00:56:36.065 --> 00:56:39.745 align:center
Because it is not just yours
but my case too.
00:56:40.865 --> 00:56:42.625 align:center
You will be investigated today.
00:56:44.145 --> 00:56:47.385 align:center
Get me a table and a chair right now!
00:56:54.585 --> 00:56:58.185 align:center
Ajay ji, you have to please come
with us for a minute.
00:56:59.225 --> 00:57:01.145 align:center
A huge round of applause for Ajay ji!
00:57:05.185 --> 00:57:06.505 align:center
Please come.
00:57:14.105 --> 00:57:15.585 align:center
So, let's start.
00:57:16.985 --> 00:57:19.505 align:center
You already know
the rules of investigation.
00:57:25.585 --> 00:57:26.945 align:center
Ludo.
00:57:28.145 --> 00:57:30.585 align:center
You have the red ones
and I'll have blue ones.
00:57:34.225 --> 00:57:37.025 align:center
What are you doing?
Why are you playing Ludo?
00:57:37.105 --> 00:57:39.065 align:center
It makes the investigation fun!
00:57:39.145 --> 00:57:41.185 align:center
- How come?
- It's entertaining!
00:57:41.265 --> 00:57:45.065 align:center
Investigation gets good rating.
You know, there are only three main things
00:57:45.145 --> 00:57:47.185 align:center
and they are rating, clothing and shelter.
00:57:49.305 --> 00:57:51.265 align:center
When will you start the investigation?
00:57:52.225 --> 00:57:53.985 align:center
Why are you in a hurry?
00:57:54.705 --> 00:57:57.545 align:center
This is an airport,
don't worry about missing your train.
00:58:03.665 --> 00:58:05.185 align:center
Do you know
00:58:06.745 --> 00:58:08.385 align:center
a rat is safe
00:58:08.985 --> 00:58:10.625 align:center
until the cat catches it.
00:58:12.105 --> 00:58:13.585 align:center
A cat is safe
00:58:15.865 --> 00:58:18.905 align:center
until a tiger catches it.
A tiger is safe
00:58:18.985 --> 00:58:21.585 align:center
until an elephant catches it.
An elephant is safe
00:58:21.665 --> 00:58:25.985 align:center
until a rat sneaks into its trunk,
the rat is safe until the cat catches it.
00:58:29.345 --> 00:58:31.225 align:center
Do you have an ointment?
00:58:31.305 --> 00:58:32.945 align:center
Why?
00:58:33.025 --> 00:58:36.305 align:center
I wonder why my hand starts burning
when I start investigating.
00:58:39.985 --> 00:58:41.705 align:center
I can't tolerate the burning!
00:58:43.185 --> 00:58:44.625 align:center
I just can't.
00:58:47.305 --> 00:58:49.345 align:center
I need to check your CCTV footage.
00:58:50.625 --> 00:58:52.665 align:center
So, tell me
00:58:52.745 --> 00:58:54.385 align:center
your D3 Level.
00:58:55.745 --> 00:58:57.425 align:center
How is it related to CCTV?
00:58:57.505 --> 00:59:00.305 align:center
If his D3 is low,
he hid the dead body at night
00:59:00.385 --> 00:59:03.425 align:center
and if it is high,
he did it during the day.
00:59:06.385 --> 00:59:07.585 align:center
So, come on.
00:59:08.665 --> 00:59:10.665 align:center
Let's move the investigation forward.
00:59:13.505 --> 00:59:17.545 align:center
You are losing the track, check the file
and ask questions accordingly.
00:59:17.625 --> 00:59:19.305 align:center
Why should I check the file
00:59:20.625 --> 00:59:23.225 align:center
when the culprit's eyes say everything!
00:59:23.305 --> 00:59:24.305 align:center
Oh, awesome!
00:59:24.385 --> 00:59:26.585 align:center
I don't need these stupid papers!
00:59:26.665 --> 00:59:27.945 align:center
That's awesome!
00:59:31.545 --> 00:59:33.025 align:center
So, tell me…
00:59:34.385 --> 00:59:36.465 align:center
what happened on 5th October.
00:59:36.545 --> 00:59:38.145 align:center
5th October!
00:59:38.225 --> 00:59:41.145 align:center
- Mister, 2nd October.
- 2nd October.
00:59:41.705 --> 00:59:44.265 align:center
Tell me, Vijay Dinanath Chauhan,
what happened then?
00:59:45.625 --> 00:59:47.265 align:center
His name is Vijay Salgaonkar.
00:59:47.985 --> 00:59:49.305 align:center
Tell me
00:59:49.745 --> 00:59:52.025 align:center
what you were doing
in Chinmayananda's mundan?
00:59:53.465 --> 00:59:56.145 align:center
Not mundan,
it was Chinmayananda's satsang.
00:59:57.225 --> 00:59:58.905 align:center
Where is the file?
00:59:58.985 --> 01:00:00.945 align:center
Show me the file.
01:00:05.465 --> 01:00:07.625 align:center
- You see?
- Where is that document?
01:00:11.905 --> 01:00:14.785 align:center
No problem! My needs are low,
my investigation has a glow!
01:00:14.865 --> 01:00:15.705 align:center
Oh, man!
01:00:17.065 --> 01:00:18.545 align:center
Come on,
01:00:18.625 --> 01:00:20.585 align:center
the case has taken a new turn.
01:00:27.025 --> 01:00:28.425 align:center
Look at this…
01:00:29.985 --> 01:00:31.705 align:center
family of four.
01:00:32.665 --> 01:00:34.585 align:center
Husband and wife, and two kids.
01:00:36.185 --> 01:00:38.185 align:center
Such a happy looking family!
01:00:40.265 --> 01:00:41.505 align:center
But…
01:00:43.225 --> 01:00:45.305 align:center
the husband was not home
01:00:46.145 --> 01:00:47.265 align:center
when a boy…
01:00:48.545 --> 01:00:50.065 align:center
came home.
01:00:52.185 --> 01:00:55.265 align:center
He misbehaved with the girl.
01:00:56.985 --> 01:00:59.385 align:center
The mother didn't like it,
so she attacked him.
01:01:03.905 --> 01:01:05.305 align:center
The husband returned home.
01:01:07.105 --> 01:01:09.265 align:center
He tried waking the boy up but…
01:01:10.185 --> 01:01:11.265 align:center
the boy…
01:01:12.345 --> 01:01:13.305 align:center
was dead.
01:01:15.745 --> 01:01:17.945 align:center
He carried the dead body…
01:01:23.185 --> 01:01:25.385 align:center
and hid it in the police station.
01:01:28.985 --> 01:01:30.625 align:center
He didn't have enough time.
01:01:46.185 --> 01:01:49.745 align:center
You must be wondering only I am going
round and round, so here you go.
01:01:54.425 --> 01:01:55.785 align:center
Move back.
01:01:55.865 --> 01:01:58.305 align:center
He shook his world!
01:02:02.465 --> 01:02:04.745 align:center
The investigation is
not going the right way.
01:02:05.585 --> 01:02:07.305 align:center
I have one more way.
01:02:07.385 --> 01:02:08.625 align:center
Yes, that way.
01:02:08.705 --> 01:02:09.945 align:center
Way to exit.
01:02:12.665 --> 01:02:16.145 align:center
We ADDA can help you solve your case.
01:02:16.945 --> 01:02:19.825 align:center
If you want, one of ADDA members
01:02:19.905 --> 01:02:22.225 align:center
can take the blame.
01:02:22.305 --> 01:02:23.265 align:center
This one.
01:02:25.345 --> 01:02:27.345 align:center
He doesn't look like a murderer,
but a petty thief.
01:02:30.625 --> 01:02:33.625 align:center
His only condition is,
01:02:33.705 --> 01:02:37.265 align:center
he wants to sit beside Shriya
for the interview.
01:02:37.985 --> 01:02:39.225 align:center
That's all he wants.
01:02:39.305 --> 01:02:41.745 align:center
Ajay sir, you couldn't hit people
in Drishyam,
01:02:41.825 --> 01:02:43.305 align:center
you can hit them if you want.
01:02:45.825 --> 01:02:49.345 align:center
- They are bothering you.
- No problem, we will leave.
01:02:49.425 --> 01:02:51.865 align:center
I heard that you run
a cable TV business in Goa.
01:02:52.825 --> 01:02:55.945 align:center
If you want to get
your washing machine repaired
01:02:56.025 --> 01:02:59.225 align:center
or even a fridge, you can call him.
01:02:59.305 --> 01:03:02.265 align:center
I am a plumber by the way.
Thank you so much!
01:03:04.745 --> 01:03:05.705 align:center
Come on.
01:03:07.425 --> 01:03:10.185 align:center
Is he Ajay Devgn
or Abbas-Mastan's towel?
01:03:15.425 --> 01:03:17.865 align:center
Huge round of applause for him!
Thank you.
01:03:21.465 --> 01:03:24.745 align:center
Give a huge round of applause
for Drishyam 3 cast!
01:03:29.105 --> 01:03:30.785 align:center
Thanks a lot, everyone!
01:03:30.865 --> 01:03:31.705 align:center
Thank you!
01:03:31.785 --> 01:03:34.745 align:center
Many wishes for Drishyam 3.
01:03:34.825 --> 01:03:37.545 align:center
If you want to say anything
to our audience before leaving…
01:03:37.625 --> 01:03:41.945 align:center
Please watch our movie Drishyam 3
in theatres on 2nd October.
01:03:43.305 --> 01:03:48.385 align:center
Don't reveal the story to your friends,
let them watch and you watch with them.
01:03:52.185 --> 01:03:54.225 align:center
Many good wishes! We're all waiting.
01:03:55.065 --> 01:03:56.465 align:center
- It's just a formality.
- Thank you.
01:03:56.545 --> 01:03:58.705 align:center
Friends, it's a festive season.
01:03:58.785 --> 01:04:01.465 align:center
You can avoid sweets, but not happiness.
01:04:01.545 --> 01:04:05.305 align:center
So, spread happiness and keep watching
The Great Indian Kapil Show Season 5!
01:04:05.385 --> 01:04:08.665 align:center
Hassi Ka Tyohaar has started on Netflix!
01:04:08.745 --> 01:04:13.785 align:center
See you next Saturday!
Till then, goodnight and goodbye!
01:04:13.865 --> 01:04:14.945 align:center
Thank you!
01:04:21.185 --> 01:04:24.665 align:center
Please welcome Mr. Siddharth Malhotra,
Tamannaah Bhatia,
01:04:24.745 --> 01:04:28.545 align:center
Mr. Anup Soni, Mr. Maniesh Paul,
and the very beautiful Shweta Tiwari.
01:04:30.425 --> 01:04:32.945 align:center
Don't Tamannaah and I
look like a killer couple?
01:04:33.025 --> 01:04:34.745 align:center
I meant Siddharth and Tamannaah…
01:04:34.825 --> 01:04:38.145 align:center
- Old habits die hard.
- They're permanent!
01:04:41.505 --> 01:04:42.505 align:center
A round of applause!
01:04:43.305 --> 01:04:46.905 align:center
- Tell me, Anup Tiwari, why this--
- He's Anup Soni, not Tiwari,
01:04:46.985 --> 01:04:49.865 align:center
- and she's Shweta Tiwari.
- Her beauty is making me stutter.
01:04:49.945 --> 01:04:51.465 align:center
Do you know how Siddharth sounds?
01:04:51.545 --> 01:04:53.585 align:center
"Tamannaah, do you believe
in these kinds of stories?"
01:04:53.665 --> 01:04:55.225 align:center
You sound like
those railway station announcements.
01:04:55.305 --> 01:04:58.585 align:center
The train for Platform four
will arrive at Platform five.
01:04:58.665 --> 01:05:01.025 align:center
So why don't you take a train back home?
01:05:02.785 --> 01:05:05.345 align:center
- There are some issues.
- There's holes in what?
01:05:06.585 --> 01:05:08.745 align:center
- Jungles are meant for…
- Make-out sessions?
01:05:08.825 --> 01:05:11.345 align:center
- No, for bouts.
- It has a hole.
01:05:14.025 --> 01:05:16.305 align:center
No matter what you do,
Siddharth Malhotra is the hero.