Good evening and welcome to The Great Indian Kapil Show!
Thank you! Thanks a lot!
Thank you!
Oh my God!
So many lady police officers!
Archana ji, you didn't get into any trouble, right?
I'm not the reason they're here. You are.
My heartfelt respect to all my sisters in law enforcement.
No, I'm not just saying this casually.
I genuinely mean it. My father was in the police force.
You joined the force after you were born, but I was born into a cop's house.
You know,
my father was initially going to name me "Law".
We can't take the law into our hands. How could they have held me in their arms?
So, they named me Kapil instead.
I thought I should tell you a little about myself.
Honestly, I don't see any difference between a cop and a father.
When you make a mistake, your father twists your ear.
The police do the same.
You're afraid of your father, you're also afraid of the police!
-But there's one difference. -What's that?
You can sometimes take money from your father's pocket.
Yes!
Paaji, you know how much authority a uniform holds.
When Archana ji leaves home and sees a few policemen,
she takes anticipatory bail.
A guilty conscience always suspects, right? She wonders
if Parmeet sir has filed a complaint against her or something!
The police have such heavy responsibilities.
They have to enforce the law, but they also need to show humanity.
Sometimes they shoot a criminal in the leg while he's running,
but then carry him to the hospital themselves.
Yes! True!
But the criminals are quite smart.
They'd be like, "Sahab, since you're taking out the bullet,
why not take out the kidney stones as well?"
But the police are brilliant too.
They say, "Buddy, if you want those kidney stones removed,
we'll just shoot you in the kidney too!"
Being the son of a police officer, I know a lot of things.
Like, I know that police duty doesn't follow fixed hours.
You can get a call at any time, and there are no official holidays.
Call the police in the middle of the night, and they will come for you.
These days, in the midst of winter,
if a wife asks her husband for a glass of water, he loses his temper.
He says, "You've been drinking my blood all my life,
-and now you want water?!” -"Now you want water!"
I've seen that whatever work a person spends their day doing,
they dream about it at night as well.
Back when my father was in the police,
he’d sometimes be asleep at night and suddenly yell, "Thief! Thief!"
And then, he'd grab my mom!
Mom would elbow him to free herself, shouting, "Get away!"
"Look, our little law is waking up! Get away!"
It's important to have women in the police force,
because men actually listen to women.
As children, men listen to their mothers.
As they grow up, they listen to their wives.
And later, they have to listen to their daughters.
-Then? -As they age, it's their daughters-in-law.
-Yes! -So, women have a natural ability
to change them for the better.
A woman who shows no mercy in correcting her own husband,
just imagine what she'd do when correcting someone else's!
That's why it's important for women to be in the police force.
Ever since women joined the police force, I've noticed the atmosphere change.
Earlier, in the villages,
police officers used to sit in just their vests during the summer.
Sometimes, they'd even pull up their vests, scratch their bellies,
and say, "It's so hot!"
But since women joined the police force,
they sit properly in uniform at their stations.
And if a female officer
praises someone, saying, "Bhawarlal ji, you're looking very handsome today,"
Bhawarlal irons his uniform three times the next day before wearing it!
Many times, when there's a female officer around,
they try to impress her and end up facing a criminal without even carrying a gun.
At that moment, they're not afraid of bullets.
The hardest part is when a female police officer is transferred.
"Sunita left?!"
"I took a bullet in my shoulder yesterday for her, and now she's gone!"
Has this ever happened to you?
It's funny because my name is Sunita!
Ma'am, it feels really good to have you here today. And--
Well, we know how much pressure you are constantly under.
I believe today is one of the rare moments you've been able to sit and relax.
-Yes, yes! -Right?
So, we're really happy to have you here today.
-A heartfelt welcome to you! -Thank you. Thank you so much.
A warm welcome to you.
Today's episode is dedicated to all the Mardaanis like you.
So, on this special occasion, let's welcome the superstar who portrays
a strong, Mardaani character just like you on screen.
Please welcome the superstar, Rani Mukerji!
Welcome, ma'am! Welcome!
Please give a big round of applause for Rani ma'am!
Rani! Rani! Rani!
Rani ma'am, it's a pleasure to have you on our show.
Thank you, Kapil!
You bring such intensity to your role as a police officer in Mardaani.
-Yes. -Look…
police officers from all over the country have come to meet you today.
Normally, whenever we have a guest,
Sidhu sahab starts with his poetry without missing a beat.
But today, I feel like you're keeping quiet out of fear of the police!
-Don't you have anything to say today? -No…
Before family, it's the country they heed
Today, even Sidhu Will bow before them, indeed!
Wow!
Kapil, no flirting today Not even a glance
Or fifty lashes will make you dance!
Sure, put it all on me!
Well, you don't mend your ways!
-What do we do now, Rani ma'am? -Kaps, don't worry.
-A little bit of flirting is okay? -Absolutely!
We've been seeing you on screen for years now.
-We are your fans. -Flirting for years too.
Rani ma'am, when Mardaani, the first part, had released,
-our show aired on Colors. -Yes.
When you appeared for Mardaani 2,
-the show aired on Sony. -On Sony!
Now, you're here for Mardaani 3, and we're on Netflix.
Save this address for the next part as well. There's nothing beyond this.
Netflix is the best!
Yes!
Firstly, Rani ma'am, congratulations to you…
-Thank you. -on Mardaani 3.
Secondly, congratulations on completing 30 incredible years in the industry.
-Yes. -And thirdly,
congratulations on still looking 28!
From 16-year-old Gen Z fans
to a 26-year-old Sidhu sahab, you've got everyone hooked!
Oh, you…
Hey, I called you a 26-year-old!
-Oh, alright! -Well, just swap the numbers 2 and 6.
Everyone's crazy about you.
We only get to see you on screen.
Where do we find you in real life?
You're not even on social media, ma'am.
Yes. Because social media is where
you're meant to put your life on display.
What…
I think it's subjective.
Some people enjoy sharing everything about their lives with the world.
Whereas some people, like me…
I don't see the need to do that.
But you know, just to keep up with what's going on?
Do you have a pseudo account under the name Banke Lal or something?
-Banke Lal? -Just a random name.
-People have pseudo accounts. -No.
No. Our teams are so on top of everything
that they keep us updated too.
-Okay. -About everything.
Archana ji.
-Now you-- -Wherever Archana ji goes,
she makes so many videos.
The other day, she went out for pani puri.
"Guys! I'm at Sita Ram's for some pani puri."
After eating 16 pani puris, when the bill came, she said,
"Hey, I'm giving you free promotion!"
That's what she does.
Today's conversation with Rani ma'am will be full of fun.
-Yes. -Please have a seat, ma'am.
Your Ladyship, please take your seat.
I don't know if many people know this.
-When your movie Ghulam released… -Yes?
you sparked a surge in Khandala's tourism.
Seriously, people started preferring Khandala over Singapore.
If the wife said, "Let's go to Singapore,"
the husband would just go, "Hey!"
She would fall for it, believing he pictured her as Rani Mukerji.
The "good news" that should have taken root in Singapore
instead took root in Khandala.
As you all know, Rani ma'am has done
quite a few romantic movies in the past.
But ever since you got married, heroes seem to have vanished from your movies.
Isn't that right?
-Like Hichki-- -She found her real-life hero.
-That's why. -Hichki, Mardaani,
Mrs. Chatterjee vs Norway.
Post-marriage, does Adi sir choose your films?
Does he claim, "I'm your hero in real life now"?
Maybe.
But with a performer like you, no one feels the lack of a hero on screen.
And your film Mrs. Chatterjee vs Norway…
Incredible movie! Well, all your movies are.
But when he sees your film--
Among all your films, which one is Adi's favorite?
The one film, according to him, whose script was good,
-whose performance was-- -Look, husbands don't…
praise their wives to their face, right?
-So? -So, he praises me behind my back.
He holds back his compliments in front of me.
Adi sir has taught generations the art of romance through his films.
DDLJ, for instance.
Mohabbatein. Many such films.
In Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi,
he plunged the whole city into darkness for a proposal scene.
You see how much a man--
Consider his sheer imagination!
So, many people have this question.
When you two fell in love,
how did he propose to you?
I don't know why, but I feel like you took his hand and proposed to him!
It's just what I feel.
Well, none of that's for broadcast.
It's very personal, Kapil.
No. Skip the specifics. Just tell us the family-friendly version.
Next question.
So…
-those who made me ask this question… -Yes?
-they also want to know if Adi-- -Who are these people?
-One of them is Panna Lal ji-- -Who is he?
Just ask me straight! Why are you pinning it on others?
-Be direct. Yes, please! -May I? Okay, here we go.
-So, the romance in Adi sir's movies… -Yes?
-If you were to rate them out of ten… -Yes?
Being a romantic yourself, how would you rate them?
Fifteen.
Wow!
-Wow! -Really?
I think the most important thing for us women--
I think everyone in the audience will agree with me.
First, we judge a person by their nature.
Putting love and romance aside,
the most important thing in marriage is that he's an exceptionally good human.
-Yeah, that's true. -I think that's what matters.
Very well said!
That was an incredible thing to say!
-One should be a good human. You know… -Yes.
A flower without fragrance Is no flower at all
A heart without love is no heart at all
No matter how much honor a man may hold
-Without humanity, he is nothing at all -Yes!
Nothing at all.
Sidhu sir's couplets are always full of love, romance, flowers, and fragrance.
Today, with the police here, it's all about patriotism and humanity!
Uniforms really do inspire fear.
And as a producer, Rani?
Adi as a producer.
As a producer, he's just amazing.
Parmeet directed Badmaash Company alongside Adi.
-Yes. -Mohabbatein as well. With Adi.
-He's an amazing producer. -And DDLJ.
Yes, Parmeet was a part of DDLJ.
-Kuljeet. -Yeah, Kuljeet.
And in Mohabbatein,
I believe you were first offered Mr. Bachchan's role. No?
Okay, sorry.
I'm very proud to say that, if this is true…
then Amit ji has taken the role I rejected!
-Oh, God! -But, Archana ji,
for us, you will always be Ms. Briganza.
Tell me something. As somebody who gives surprises--
It's usually the husbands who give surprises.
Does Adi give you any surprises?
Yeah, well, in the beginning, he gave me a lot of surprises.
-Like? -Then he realized it's better not to give.
Why? Why so?
You see, I have a face
-that can't hide anything. -I see.
-My actual feelings always show. -Yeah.
Many times, he thought surprising me would make me really happy.
And I even pretended to be happy, but it didn't show.
After that, he was like, "I shouldn't be giving you surprises."
-You were born and raised in Mumbai. -Yes.
-Adi sir was born and raised here too. -Yes.
You come from a Bengali background, while Adi sir is Punjabi.
Have you been to Punjab with him? Celebrated Lohri there?
Well, not with him.
I went with his father.
-I know. It was during Veer-Zaara. -Yes. Veer-Zaara.
-You filmed in Khalsa College, Amritsar. -Yes.
We tried to sneak in, but the cops wouldn't allow it.
It wasn't like the cops didn't know us.
We all lived in the same police colony, and many cops knew us.
But they didn't allow us.
Look at how far we've come!
Loving it!
But, Kapil…
I celebrate Lohri every year.
-When Adi's mother was around… -Yes?
we'd celebrate it every year.
She's no more, but we still follow the tradition.
-And I love celebrating the festival. -Lohri is a beautiful festival.
I do that thing with Adi, circling the fire together.
-Yes. -And even breaking the sugarcane.
Yes.
That's why I love Punjabis.
And I'm really fond of mishti doi.
Ma'am, I've noticed that Bengalis are born artists.
Yeah.
Be it literature or acting.
And they're always so beautiful.
-It's all the fish they eat. -The fish?
It's not the fish.
Most are made casually by God,
-but she was made with care and precision. -Sweet.
When God creates someone like Rani, He personally takes care of everything.
It's not delegated to the staff.
He gives the final touches, making sure you're perfect to step into the world.
As for us? We're thrown together just for kicks!
When Dinesh was created
and set aside,
God's assistant asked Him,
"Should we put life into this one or just the laces?"
Oh my God!
Oh, sorry, man.
-Sir, here! One photo! -I'm here to meet Rani.
-Sir! -Sorry, man.
Sir, one picture.
-No, I'm pressed for time. -Sir.
-Sir, just one photo. -I've got just one minute.
-Come on, hurry. -Sir.
Look here.
-Thank you, sir. -Thank you.
Thank you, man. Thank you.
-Sorry, dude. -Thank you, sir.
-Thank you, thank you. -Thank you, sir.
Come on.
-Sidhu ji, sorry. -No problem, man.
I'm here to meet Rani ji. I've just got one minute.
-Sorry. Sorry, Archana ji. -Hi, Aamir!
I can't tell you how beautiful you look today because I'm pressed for time.
-I'm here to meet her. -Yes, please go ahead.
Hey, keep the engine on. I'm pressed for time.
Just give me a minute.
Hello, Rani ji.
Can I sit for a minute?
Yeah, please.
Thank you.
You did a film called Ghulam.
In that movie, you asked, "What am I supposed to do in Khandala?"
I have found the answer.
But you had answered the question in the movie.
-You said, "We'll roam around, have fun--" -To be honest…
that answer wasn't well thought out at all.
-Really? -That wasn't my actual answer.
So, what's your actual answer?
-I figured it out last night. -I see.
-After 28 years? -After 28 years.
In Khandala…
The answer I figured…
Tofu.
-Tofu? -Set up a tofu factory.
Yes, because shops there were selling fake paneer.
-Oh, I see! -So, tofu is the best idea.
It took you 28 years to come up with this idea?
Tofu wasn't introduced before that.
-It was introduced in recent years. -Right.
Okay, I'll get going. That's all that I wanted to say.
Please continue with your lovely conversation.
-I would like to go now. Thank you. -No, no.
Wait a minute. One last thing. Don't turn off the engine.
I wanted to say something, Rani ji.
I saw the trailer of your movie.
Mardaani 3.
I loved it. Sorry, I saw the trailer without your permission.
But I really liked it.
Aamir bhai, trailers are meant to be watched.
Really?
"Really?"
-Oh, so we can watch the trailer? -Yes, absolutely.
Oh, man! I didn't know. Thank God! I was carrying the guilt all around.
-I'll get going. -But where are you going?
-Oh, I have to go. -Where?
I really don't know.
But I'm in a hurry.
Thank you so much.
-I'll see you. Oh, no! -Oh, teri!
Keep the car running, don't switch it off.
-One last thing. -Yes?
Two incidents occurred today.
Two incidents or a coincidence?
No. Two incidents.
-I see. -I got a hint.
-What? -Look here. Look at this.
-What's that? -What's that?
-You got stung by a bee? -No.
There were four bees, but I got stung by the rani bee.
I see.
That was a hint.
Sidhu ji, you know, my gaddi was stolen today.
Really?
-Someone just took it away. -Oh!
What, your car? It's right here.
-Not this gaddi. The gaddi of cards. -I see.
I'm left with just one card.
-Oh my God! Yes! -I see.
-Which one? -Rani!
You're really stuck on Rani, aren't you?
Correct, correct, correct, Sidhu ji.
I'm really experiencing hairani.
-"Hai-rani." -Wow, there's Rani in "hairani."
We should do a film together.
-Done. -Mardaani 4.
-Oh, wow! -Mardaani 4.
We should do that. Think about it.
Take your time. Sleep on it.
I'll come over to your house tomorrow.
Okay? See you then.
Okay, Kapil. I'll get going.
-Okay, Aamir bhai. -Finally.
-Are you really going? -No, I just…
Keep the engine running!
Oh, man! You turned off the engine!
-Oh, teri! -I told you to--
Oh, teri!
I told you to keep the engine running.
Not because I was in a hurry, but because…
it doesn't start again.
-Give it a push! -Come on, the car needs a push.
Come on, hurry up!
Come on.
I have to go. Come on.
Okay.
He's so good!
Rani ma'am, you know…
I keep telling you, no matter what role you take on…
-Yes? -you always ace it.
Ma'am won a national award for Mrs. Chatterjee vs Norway.
-Wow, that is amazing! -Thank you.
Ma'am, we heard that while portraying Mrs. Chatterjee,
you drew from your mother's mannerisms.
-Yes. -Is it true?
Yes, absolutely.
When I got the role of Debika, based on Sagarika's story,
she had to feel like someone born and raised in Kolkata.
When she went to Norway,
how would she be?
So the closest person I've grown up watching is my mother.
My mother got married at 20 and then moved to Mumbai.
Though she lived in Mumbai,
she never lost her Bengali essence.
-That could never happen. -Absolutely. Never.
The way she talks and holds herself,
she's just like a Bengali tigress.
And my mother's deep love and protective nature towards her children
is something I've modeled.
That's why, Debika is exactly like my mother.
You played the role beautifully, ma'am.
-When you first bagged Mardaani… -Yes?
did any such person cross your mind?
-Well… -Or that's purely Rani Mukerji?
Is that how you are upon wearing a uniform?
Actually, before taking on the role in Mardaani,
I met with several police officers.
I interacted with them, and I…
observed them while they performed their duties.
The way they wear their uniforms.
The way they salute.
The way they walk, their stride.
-It's very different from the others. -Right.
Shivani Shivaji Roy is an amalgamation of all those officers I met.
Across all my Mardaani interviews,
it was always highlighted that
female officers have an altogether different aura.
How they approach and solve cases.
-Yeah. -It's totally different.
I'm so proud that I'm able to…
you know, bring their lives to the screen,
for everybody to see just how challenging their lives are.
Absolutely.
Rani ma'am, some of your fans have sent letters for you.
Okay.
Strange that in today's email era, people still send letters.
Sunita from Jabalpur, Madhya Pradesh says…
Sunita! She's right over there!
Sunita ji, you're everywhere!
She says, "Rani ji, thank you so much.
You are the reason there is peace in our household."
I see!
"My husband used to criticize and pick on my cooking in the past.
But one day, I made him do the stunt from your film Ghulam.
Just as Aamir Khan had quenched a lit match with his tongue,
I made his tongue burn instead!
Now his taste buds are gone.
When he craves something sweet, he just looks at me."
So, she thanks you for everything.
This is a letter from Suryaprakash in Jhunjhunu.
"Rani ji, I've tried three times to join the police force,
but each time I failed for one reason or another.
Given your stellar role in Mardaani, it seems
you really understand the nuances of being a police officer.
I would like to spend some time with you
so I can understand the life of a police officer."
-Really? -Really?
"I want to pass the exams.
Please tell me what time works best for you,
and I'll arrange my tickets accordingly."
You're most welcome.
I can arrange something for him at Juhu Police Station.
-Arrange his stay? -His stay.
And they even have written text that says, "When's the next meeting?"
He'll understand it better there.
-Yes! -Thank you so much.
-"Meet soon, darling." -Thank you for the letters.
Today, you're going to see Archana ji's talents.
-Really? Okay. -Yeah. We'll play a game.
Yes. You'll need to hold placards with names above your head like this.
She will use expressions,
gestures, or mannerisms
to explain it to you, and you will guess who the actor is.
Bring out those placards!
Okay. Rani ma'am, you can't see them.
-Okay. -Show it to the audience and Archana ji.
Now flip it over and put it down.
I've seen so many films, but I don't remember--
Old actor?
New actor? Mid?
Mid-time actor.
Have I worked with him?
Bangles? "Bole Chudiyan"?
Chandni.
Rishi Kapoor.
Sridevi.
Archana ji.
Believe me when I say this,
you showed no talent here! She just guessed it right.
Oh, that's easy. No problem at all.
Shah Rukh.
Once again, I'd like to tell you, you showed no talent here!
-You keep quiet! -It's just--
It's just that Shah Rukh bhai's pose is legendary!
Let me find something difficult.
Wait for it. Okay.
This one…
-The dance. -Dharam ji.
I was about to do…
"Channe Ke Khet Mein."
Madhuri Dixit!
Sorry, Madhuri!
That was probably the most terrible enactment of "Channe Ke Khet Mein."
-My most favorite, Madhuri! -Yeah.
Mr. Bachchan!
Alright now, let's give a placard to Archana ma'am.
Archana ma'am.
Dharam ji.
Hema ji.
Hema ji!
Dev sahab.
Wow!
Last one.
Who's that?
Salman.
Thank you so much. Congratulations to you.
After all this time on the show, it's today that you finally put in some effort.
Love you, ma'am!
Ma'am, you're familiar with the reality shows these days.
-Kids face selection rounds. -Yes.
Nowadays, when a child doesn't get selected, be it in dance or singing,
it's the parents who lash out at the judges!
They're all like, "Do you even know how to sing? How dare you reject my child!"
That sounds like my mom.
I've heard that, in the past, before you joined the industry,
-when you gave a screen test… -Yes?
-your mom called up the producer… -Yes.
-saying, "Don't sign her." -"Don't sign her."
"Because she's too bad.
Your movie will flop."
-Really? -Yeah. My mom--
She was very keen on letting me get into films.
But when the screen test happened,
she saw it.
-Salim Uncle is a close friend of hers. -Okay.
She said, "Salim, don't take Rani. She's terrible."
I love that! So cute!
Keep the party at Pathaan's house,
and Pathaan will be there, all for the sake of hospitality.
Shah Rukh, why are you strolling around with a bucket?
If you leave the bucket at Pathaan's house,
only Pathaan will come to return it.
Who left the bucket there?
Someone's bucket
and its kid is lost. So, please…
whoever the owner is, please take it.
Such a lovely kid.
What is your father's name?
Tell me.
Look, he's crying. Hey, don't cry.
Stop crying.
Oh, he's peeing!
You spoiled my clothes!
Whoever the owner is, please take it.
Is it yours?
Why have children if you can't take care of them?
Archana ji…
I have…
told you so many times.
Stop stealing monkeys from Film City!
Me?
Film City!
Stop stealing monkeys from Film City!
I warned you Netflix would call the cops on you, and they did!
-Archana ji. -Yes?
-Today, I don't want to call you Archana. -What?
I want to call you Ms. Briganza.
Oh! Rahul!
And Sidhu ji, I want to call you Mr. Malhotra.
-No… -Malhotra!
Not because you secretly love Archana ji.
I see.
No, I mean, I really miss my Tina today.
Yes!
How I wish Tina was here today!
-She's sitting right there! -Look she's right here.
Tina!
My God, Tina!
Tina!
-Tina! -Tina!
-Oh my God! -Krushna…
We've met after so long.
Remember me?
Rahul…
-I'm sure you've heard the name. -Will you be my friend?
We've heard the name. The samosa seller outside is also Rahul.
And the bhatura seller next to him is also Rahul.
It's a common name, bhaisahab.
One minute. Come here.
-I want to give you some advice. -Yes?
Stop going to these
bhature and samosa stalls.
-Why? -You've worked hard to lose weight.
Good one!
Kapil!
-If you want to eat scrumptious food… -Yes?
-there's a new cafe in Dubai. -Come on…
Go to Kap's Cafe. You get delicious food there.
-Kapil. -Yes?
Rani, I want to say something to you.
Say it to her then!
Love is friendship.
If she can't be my friend,
then she can never love me.
Don't you think you should look at Rani and say this dialogue?
Don't you think you should've called fewer cops?
I am…
terrified of saying all this.
Oh my God!
Shah Rukh bhai, just leave your horse for a moment and sit here.
Sit back and relax.
Rani ji, what do you think of my walk?
This is my left profile.
This is my right profile.
-This is my dance. -Bro, all that is fine,
-but why are you doing this-- -Krishna, I love everything about you.
-And-- -You're a great dancer.
Then why didn't you cast me in Mardaani 3?
Why didn't you, Madan Chopra?!
Not Madan Chopra,
but Aditya Chopra will be watching this episode.
So, be mindful of your actions.
Don't get carried away.
No, no. I…
Hear me out.
There was a time
when films had a hero,
with a heroine by his side.
Today, you are both the heroine
and the hero.
Should we be selling mishti doi then?
-Rani ji, this won't work. -It won't work!
I am Manjulika!
I am getting furious.
I find myself saying "Rani" all day long.
And I-- Look at this.
I've got rani even in my pocket!
-Wow! -I'm the only one in the industry.
You've got a rani as well?
"As well"? It's exclusively me!
Who has a rani?
A king!
A king does!
King Khan!
I want you to promise me
that I'll be working with you in Mardaani 4.
Are you mocking me?
Interpret it however you want.
-She gave him the thumb! -Take it however you like.
Not like this. Promise me in my style.
Like this.
All my love and best wishes to you. I'll see you soon.
Rani ma'am, we always give our audience a chance--
Our studio audience.
We give them a chance to talk to their favorite stars
and ask anything they want.
With your permission, may we go ahead with the questions?
-Please. -Please raise your hands.
-Yes. Hello. -Hello, sir. Hello, Rani ma'am.
My name is Kalpana Shah. I'm from Mumbai.
Before marriage, I used to think
I was the best at bargaining whenever I went shopping.
But ever since I married him, I realized he's even better at bargaining.
So, ma'am, whenever you and sir go for bargaining--
-Go for bargaining? -Whenever you go shopping,
who's the best at bargaining?
I can just imagine Adi bargaining at a shop!
Ma'am, you should definitely listen to my husband's story.
-One day, we went to buy a sofa cover. -Okay.
That seller said it was for 2400 rupees.
I thought we'd bring it down to 2000. But he bought it for only 800!
Wow!
Madam, was it a sofa cover or a pillow cover?
Sofa cover!
No, my husband is the complete opposite.
If I go into a shop with him,
browse a few things,
and don't buy anything, he scolds me.
He says, "Why did you waste their time?!"
Besides bargaining like a pro, what else do you do? What's your profession?
I…
I'm a lawyer.
-And your wife? -She's a lawyer too.
-Lawyer. -Both are lawyers?!
-Very good. -Who wins the arguments between you two?
They're both lawyers, so…
-She always wins. -Of course! Always!
I understand.
Happens at my house too.
-Thank you for joining us on the show. -Thank you, sir.
Anyone else here eager to appear on TV? Yes?
-Hello, sir. -Hello.
Hello, Rani ma'am. Hello, Kapil sir.
-Hello. -I'm Piyush Jain.
I have a ten-year-old son.
-Okay. -He's extremely mischievous.
So…
whenever he gets into mischief, my wife scolds him,
and I'm the one who comes to his rescue.
Even ma'am has a daughter, Adira, who is ten years old as well.
So, even between you two,
there must be one who scolds and the other who saves.
My wife is here.
Every time I'm being yelled at,
my son comes to my rescue,
and every time he's being yelled at, I swoop in to save him!
Why don't you and your son just run away from home?
Sir, where will we run away from her?
That's true.
Let go of the belt. Your pants won't fall off.
He keeps holding on to it!
He won't let go!
No, in our home…
my daughter scolds me.
-That means sir must be saving you. -Yes!
Thank you for coming to the show.
-Thank you, sir. -Thank you.
-Anyone else? -Here.
Please pass the mic to ma'am.
-Hello, Kapil sir and Rani ma'am. -Hello, ma'am.
It's really my privilege to be here.
Because, Rani ma'am, I'm a huge fan of yours,
and Kapil sir, I feel so great
-to be here on the show. -Thank you, ma'am.
Rani ma'am, right from your first film
to your latest one that I've watched--
I watch them again and again, pouring my heart into it.
-Yes. -Especially, your movie Mardaani.
You said that
you seek inspiration from women officers
-for such movies. -Yes.
The film Mardaani inspires us and makes us feel empowered, ma'am.
By watching that movie, we have gained strength, integrity, and courage.
So it makes me very happy that you’re showing such a movie to the people,
where they are learning
that such incidents are happening in our nation.
People should be aware of it. They should be empowered.
It's absolutely important to show a movie like this in our nation.
And it's crucial
for every person in this nation to be aware of what's happening around them.
-Yes. -So, ma'am,
I would like to give you our very best wishes.
Thank you so much, ma'am.
Rani ma'am, we have our special guests,
-the real Mardaanis, here today. -Mardaanis! Yes!
Would you like to come with me?
-Let's have a quick chat with them. -Yes, of course.
Yes!
First of all, you're looking very pretty in the uniform.
-Thank you. -I want to ask you-- Don't get me wrong.
A man is naturally a little scared of his wife.
And if the wife happens to be a police officer,
what must the atmosphere at home be like?
It's your misunderstanding.
Outsiders are scared, but at home, no one bats an eye.
Instead, they scare the women!
Is that so?
Even I--
My name is Kavita Goyat. I'm a boxer and an Asian Games medalist.
-I hail from Haryana. -Wow! Amazing.
-Well, especially-- -You're a boxer as well?
-Yes. -I see!
Today, I would like to say one thing.
Rani madam has inspired me so much today.
It's a message to all women that they should invest that much time.
And it's a good thing
that we shower our children with love and affection while raising them.
So that they remember it when they grow up.
And a special thanks to Rani ma'am.
You've already inspired all of us through this film.
And your film is sure to do exceptionally well.
-Thank you so much for coming on the show. -Thank you, ma'am.
Thank you.
What's your name, ma'am?
ACP Mini Joseph.
ACP ma'am, first of all, a very warm welcome to you!
I'd like to ask you one thing. Picture this.
You are standing at a crossroads in the city.
A man is riding a motorcycle towards you,
and he's not wearing a helmet.
But when he comes closer, you realize he's actually your husband.
Just imagine.
Would you fine him or let it slide? That's all I wanted to ask!
I mean, just a little…
All I would like to say is that
there's no man on earth
who would dare come to me with such audacity.
Thank you, ma'am.
That's a total Mardaani answer!
-I like that. -And for the question--
If I may have a moment,
I'd like you to meet a few Mardaanis from my staff.
-Yes, of course. -This is Sumitra ji.
She works at PCR1.
Hello, ma'am.
One night, we received a call
that a dumper driver had kidnapped a two-and-a-half-year-old girl.
As soon as the call came, she started patrolling
and located the dumper.
By the time she reached the dumper, intending to harm the child,
-he… -Oh, God.
he had already packed her up.
But she rescued the child from there.
-And… -So proud of you, ma'am!
Next, I would like you to meet Sarika.
-Hello. -Sarika ji is someone who--
You know those girls under 18 who, for whatever reason,
leave home with someone, not fully realizing what they're getting into?
She traced and found seventy-seven such girls
using technical surveillance.
Amazing!
Here's Divya.
I would like to introduce PSI Divya.
Just a few days ago, she rescued a one-day-old girl.
And our CP, Gehlot sir,
and his wife, who is here with us today,
celebrated a naming ceremony for the girl and named her Hasti.
-She… -Wow!
Wow!
And here we've got another--
She is our…
Mardaani.
We call her Sinda.
She has caught around 200 criminals.
-She has been into detection. -Amazing!
Wow!
Incredible!
This is Meer.
-PSI Meer. -Hello, ma'am.
She recently uncovered
a cybercrime fraud involving 2,000 crores.
-It's an ongoing… -Wow! Amazing!
Wow!
And you are representing all of them,
-for which I want to say a big thank you. -Thank you.
Thank you so much and all the best, ma'am.
Thank you.
Thank you, ma'am. It really makes me feel so good that you--
Like I said in the beginning of the show,
because of you all, everyone feels safe.
And today, a small effort on our part brought a smile to your faces.
It gives us a heartfelt sense of joy.
-Thank you. -Thank you so much.
I'm the wife of the Police Commissioner of Surat.
-Sandhya Gehlot. -Oh! A very warm welcome to you.
These lady police officers from Surat who are here today
are doing their jobs diligently.
But besides that, I want to mention that
we are also involved in a lot of social work.
A lot of children suffer from thalassemia.
To help them, our police force
-collects 10,000 units of blood annually. -Wow!
And the blood reaches children all over India.
-Incredible, really. -Additionally, for children
who don't have access to schools,
arrangements have been made for their education.
Along with that, a daycare facility has been opened.
So, in this way, our police
are contributing not only to law enforcement but also to social work.
The police are making great efforts to connect with the public.
And I would like to request everyone
not to view the police in a negative light.
The police are very positive.
-You've given them a thankless job. -In Mardaani 3, you will see
-how positive they are. -Absolutely!
-And that is extremely important. -Yes.
-Thank you. -Thank you so much, ma'am.
You all are doing such a wonderful and noble job.
Thank you so much.
Come, ma'am.
Wow!
-Wow! -Wow!
Wow!
-Archana ji, wow! -Wow!
-Sidhu ji, wow! -Wow!
-Kapil Sharma, wow! -Wow!
Rani Mukerji, wow!
And how?!
Like, really, man!
Whenever I meet you, I notice that you seem to get younger by the day.
How's that happening, man?
Really! It's a miracle!
Like, even today,
she looks just like Rani Mukerji from Hum Tum, doesn't she?
Absolutely! And even you look the same!
Saif! You look exactly like Saif!
I didn't think you'd be convinced so easily!
We were convinced the minute you entered. Hum Tum…
-Sab Tum! -Yes! Sab Tum!
Well, just to be safe, I also got a tattoo.
Look!
-Oh! -"Curry Na"?
You look like a round Saif!
I'm that Nawab who eats kebab!
You know, when I told my kids
that I'd be meeting you here,
they said, "We want to meet Rani bua!
-We want to meet Rani bua!" -Rani bua?!
So, I said to them very lovingly, "Shut up!"
Why scold them? You could have let them meet her!
Why would they call her bua?!
Exactly! They could've called me maasi.
-Yeah! -Yeah!
This is not a bua face!
-Right! -That's a bua face!
No, seriously, look at her!
Just by looking at her, it seems like she'd go to someone's house as a guest
and not return for years.
I've got a call. Oh!
It's my wife calling.
-May I answer it? -Yes, please.
Yeah, one second. Hello.
What? We have guests coming over! Wow!
Where are they coming from?
Unnao!
-Whose milk should I bring? Cow! -Cow!
-What do I get along with it? Pav! -Pav!
I'll place the order right away! Now!
-Oh my God! -I'm sorry. I've got to place this order.
You placed an order right away! You are very obedient.
I'm really obedient to my wife.
That's why I stay "Saif" in life!
Get it?
Anyway, I just want to say one thing to you, Rani.
I'm a little disappointed.
When we did Hum Tum, I was present, and so were you.
But the films you're doing now, take Mardaani, for example,
it's all you, there's no me!
You should cast me as well in these films!
You are with Kareena.
But we can do a film together!
You might not know this, but I always keep you close to my heart.
-I'll show you. -Sure, take it out.
You're about to pull a rani from your pocket, right?
How does he know?
-Wow! -Wow!
Like how?
The three of you have the same writer.
Hey!
Like, wow, man! How do you do that?
Because before you, two other Khans were here,
and even they did the card thing!
That's pure flattery!
A deck of cards has four queens.
That's not a big deal. That can be shown easily.
But honestly, I'm telling you, a good pair is you and me.
It's our pair.
I'm not kidding. The other day, I went to buy fruits.
I asked him to give me fresh apples.
He told me, "Forget the apples, sir. You and Rani are the freshest pair around!"
Oh! Is that so?
That day, I went to purchase a sofa.
I said, "Give me a solid sofa."
He said, "Forget the sofa, sir!
It's the bond between you and Rani that's really solid!"
Wow!
Yeah, this is what people are saying, you know?
We should do a film together. Really!
You know what I'm going to do now?
On this seat beside you,
I'm keeping a handkerchief. This is my place.
Nobody's going to take it, okay?
Let me see who dares to!
Oh my God!
Namaskar. Adab. Sat Sri Akaal. Kem cho?
I welcome Mardaani 43.
I extend a warm welcome.
One second, bhaijaan.
It's not Mardaani 43.
It's Mardaani 3.
It's 43.
Mardaani 3 and 40.
-Oh, 43! -Forty-- You know?
You know, forty plus ten minus twelve plus five is forty-three.
You could've simply said forty plus three.
Being straightforward doesn't help anymore.
We have to twist our words.
You know, jalebis are twisted,
and people find it sweet.
A bitter gourd is straight, but people find it bitter.
Okay, bhaijaan, very frankly, I'll tell you!
It's only your attitude that's fun.
Otherwise, what you said made no sense!
So true!
Well, look, everyone agrees with me!
I don't like this shit, man. I don't…
Rani ji.
Many, many returns of the day.
Bhaijaan, once again, you are going wrong.
We say "many, many returns of the day" when it's someone's birthday.
I know, I know. It's also said for films.
A producer invests money, so he should get his returns.
-You know, "many, many returns." -Absolutely!
Adi ji should be fully happy.
Now, I'm going to get very serious.
I can't hear you. Could you…
I'm talking to her. You need not hear.
-Okay. -Okay?
Wait for my cue then.
Superb!
Arrest him, ma'am. Arrest him.
You know, I want to salute you all.
Because of you, we all are safe.
No, I disagree.
Not everyone's safe here. Only I'm Saif!
Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit!
I've heard this joke so many times!
I don't like this! No!
-Prove that you are Saif. -Look, I've got a tattoo here.
-It's a rental tattoo! -Hey!
You can't-- You can't do that!
I just did that!
Rani ji…
you didn't come for my birthday.
No worries. I won't come to your birthday either.
But I've penned a little poem for you.
If you don't mind…
Mukerji is the queen of the screen
Right, right.
An actress so clever, so keen
-Wow! -Amazing!
Touch her, and she'll make you fear
Oh!
Her film, Mardaani, is here
Wow!
That was good!
When will this film come, you ask?
The queen of films, she's up to the task
Her movie Mardaani is the one we cheer!
Wow!
I can keep going on.
Yeah, sure, but our pair has already been made.
-It's Rani and me. That's the pair! -No, no, no.
-Our pair is going to be formed. -No, it will be ours.
I'm telling you. I'm telling you, man! I'm telling you.
We'll be a pair.
Because I went to an apple vendor.
I asked him to give me fresh apples.
He told me, "Forget the apples. You and Rani are the freshest pair around!"
I see.
Then you must've gone to a sofa seller.
You must have told them to give you a solid sofa.
He said, "Forget the sofa!
It's the bond between you and Rani that's really solid!"
-Yeah! -Yeah? Yeah?
-Yeah? -Yeah!
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
He's right, he's right.
He's right. Sofa, yeah!
-You-- -Yeah, but half of the industry's stars
go there to buy a sofa, alright?
-So, don't give me this sofa story, okay? -Let's not-- Let's not argue.
Let's toss a coin. Whoever wins will do the film with her.
-Toss a coin? -Yeah.
Okay, let's do a toss then.
Where's the coin--
Hey, Giridharilal ji. This is unbelievable!
Why is my heart beating so fast?
I've been dancing for years,
but today my heart is racing like never before!
Why is this happening?
Oh, Dinesh, is it because I saw you--
Even your wife's heart doesn't flutter when she sees you, so why would mine?!
This is so amazing.
Today, I'm feeling that Hadh Kar Di Aapne kind of fluttering. That…
Oh, my! Rani!
Oh, Rani!
Oh, my! The same eyes!
The same hair! The same ears!
-The same lips! -They'll obviously be the same.
It's not like they will change.
It's not like she'll turn into Ayan Mukerji from Rani Mukerji!
You're right.
Partner!
-Hey, partner! -Partner!
I've never experienced such joy before!
Such joy!
I've never experienced such joy before!
Partner, I've missed you so much!
You should have called me then.
But if I had called you, we would've talked.
And if we had talked, how could I have missed you?
-Wow! -I don't like this.
-I don't like this shit. -Hey, Chi Chi! Wow!
Oh, wow! Ganesh Acharya!
-Hey, Ganesh! How are you? -Hey, Chi Chi. How are you?
-What happened, man? -I missed you a lot, man.
If you missed me, you should have called me.
But if I had called you, we would've talked.
How could I have missed you then?
-This is wrong, man. -Too good!
He…
Are you okay?
Are you fine?
Are you okay?
I really didn't like it.
I didn't like it.
-Krushna… -He's unbelievable, man.
You're my partner, and yet you're laughing at me!
No, no.
I'm not your partner. I'm her partner.
We're doing Mardaani 4 together.
Oh, no.
-We're doing that. -I'm doing that.
We make an incredible pair!
You know what? I carry rani in my pocket
-wherever I go. -Oh my God!
That one's done, man.
-What? -Look over there.
-It's done. -That one's done.
-It's done? -Several times.
You know, one day, I went out to buy fresh apples.
-Tell him, man. -And I…
That was done four times.
It was done four times!
-Once, I went to shop for a sofa-- -The sofa one's done as well.
What is that?
-What are you doing? -If everything is done,
I'll just be here peeling potatoes!
Unbelievable!
He always does this.
He recycles quips from this show into other shows,
and from other shows into this one.
Wow!
-Wow! -Get started with the cooking.
-Start cooking. -I'll deal with you later, Ganesh.
-Ganesh? -Who's Ganesh?
-Eyeing someone else's business! -Yeah!
-I have a solution… -What?
to help us decide who will work alongside Rani ji.
-Okay. -Okay? Let's do one thing.
-I've got a fish. -Okay.
-Fish. You know what I mean? -Yeah.
We need to aim for the fish's eye.
And whoever hits it will work with Rani.
-Is that okay? -Yeah, alright.
You guys okay with that?
-Yes. -Partner, I'm okay.
-What do you say? -What do you say?
If you want to, do it.
Wow! Yeah!
Alright, bring out the fish!
-Partner. -You go first.
-I have to go first? -There. There's the fish.
You must hit the eye.
Why do you wanna do this?
-Okay. -Come on. "Teere" Naam.
-Are you-- -Teere Naam!
Attitude!
Don't you need the bow?
-There, you-- -No. I don't bow before anyone. I'm good.
Watch me.
Oh, man! I missed the target too.
What is this nonsense?
If you weren't willing, why did you agree to my idea?
Let's go to my farmhouse and decide there. Come on.
Farmhouse!
Oh, farmhouse!
-Farmhouse? -Let's go to the farmhouse.
He's gone!
Let's do one thing.
Let's take this fish to the farmhouse.
We can fry the fish.
-That's a good idea. Let's take it. -Yeah?
-See you. -Alright. Thank you.
See you later.
Come on.
Please give a huge round of applause for Rani ji. Come, ma'am.
Rani ma'am, thank you so much for coming on our show.
Things are always fun when you're here.
-Thank you, Kapil. -And every time,
you bring meaningful cinema to all of us.
This time, you have brought Mardaani 3,
and we hope the audience will appreciate it.
Ma'am, we know that the film is releasing on the 30th.
Apart from that, would you like to give a message to our viewers?
All I want to say is that…
We interacted with all the Mardaanis here.
Awareness is extremely important.
And the purpose of my film is that as many people as possible watch it,
become aware that such things are happening,
and take precautions.
So…
I had a wonderful time today
-coming to Kapil's show. -Same here, ma'am.
With everyone here. Thank you for all the love
that you all have given me
for the past 30 years. Thank you very much.
Today's episode is a tribute to all our Mardaanis.
Thank you so much once again.
Friends, next week, we'll be back with new guests.
Keep watching The Great Indian Kapil Show.
Every Funnyday for a fresh dose of fun! Only on Netflix.
Good night. Take care.
Please welcome Aditi Rao Hydari, Vijay Sethupathi, Siddharth Jadhav,
and Mr. A. R. Rahman!
We've been enjoying Rahman sahab's music for years.
Will we get to hear a few words from you today?
Sir, this business runs on words.
We all know that dialogues help you in many ways.
For example, take the dialogue, "You dog! I will slay you!"
If you had to convey this silently, how would you?
That's some real power! She turned a cheetah into a dog!
Vijay sir, have you ever attended film school?
No, sir. Never.
But there was a theater group where I worked as an accountant.
Did you happen to check a film star's account there?
I checked my account, and there was no money in it. So, I wanted to earn some.
Wow!
Oh my God! A. R. Rahman ji!
Oh my God! Vijay Sethupathi ji!
Oh my God! Aditi!
Oh my God! Siddharth Jadhav?!
I'll hug you if you do that!
"A market jump is on its way, When oil climbs high, Trump will play."
-Jump. -Jump.
It's coming.
It is coming!
Do you want to see Sethupathi ji dance?
Come on, louder!
Nah, you're not getting it.