LUCIFER:
Previously on Lucifer...
So you're the Devil,
and you've left Hell behind
to take a vacation
in Los Angeles.
How could you possibly help me?
I have a certain skill set.
I can be very persuasive
with people.
I got it; the name,
the whole "Lucifer" thing,
and desire is
like your superpower.
(Lucifer groans)
CHLOE: How did you survive
getting shot six times?
Is that your normal reaction
to someone saving your life?
When I see something
I can't explain,
yeah, I look for answers.
Well, I've given you
the answer, Detective.
It's not my fault
you won't accept it.
CHLOE:
What happened with Lucifer?
You don't get it, do you?
He's the Devil! He's the Devil!
LUCIFER: Where's your ex,
Detective Douche?
Hi, Daddy.
Hi, munchkin.
CHLOE: Wow, shocker,
you're late.
Come on, give
me a break.
Right, here's the deal.
We can have as much naked
cuddle time as you desire,
but you're gonna have
to listen to me too.
LINDA: You like
to hide insecurity
in humor, don't you?
What do you think
I'm insecure about?
That you are changing,
that you don't know
what's causing the change.
Or who.
(wind whistling)
Go on.
Go ahead, jump.
You know you want to.
Hmm?
Trust me, it's
a warm welcome.
Won't it hurt?
Oh, there's only
one way to find out.
(cheering, shouting)
♪ All day I was out ♪
♪ Feeling, thinking of you... ♪
Lovely.
♪ Buzzing by myself tonight ♪
♪ ♪
Sorry.
♪ Same place ♪
Excuse me.
♪ Same old rhyme ♪
♪ Same troubles
on my mind, too ♪
♪ I still changed
and don't know why... ♪
WOMAN: You're the man
of the hour.
Everyone's here
to see you.
What's the worst
that can happen?
Come on, have one
drink with me.
I can't, I'm sorry, I'm not
trying to be a buzzkill,
I'm just... I'm not in the
mood to party, all right?
How can you decline
this ravishing siren's
invitation to imbibe?
(chuckles) Well, if L.A.'s
taught me anything,
constant rejections
do build character.
LUCIFER: Sincerely doubt
"constant rejection"
is something you
ever deal with.
(chuckles)
You could learn a thing
or two from this guy.
Oh.
(chuckles)
Witty, charming and wise.
Have you lost your mind?
Do I know you?
Lucifer.
Morningstar.
Right, you're the
club owner guy
who grants people favors.
Yeah, I don't need
anything from you.
Oh, I beg
to differ, Ty.
I have been looking
for you all night.
And you are in desperate
need of my help.
Star quarterback,
number-one draft pick,
and yet, for some inexplicable
reason, a virgin.
Look, man, I got all the haters
I need online, all right?
No, no, no, no, no,
I'm not criticizing.
I'm fascinated.
I mean, do you know
how rare you are?
A celebrity virgin
in Los Angeles,
and surrounded by temptation.
I mean, you, Ty, are like
a four-leaf clover
and a unicorn made a baby.
Without, uh, having
sex, of course.
(wry chuckle)
MAN: Aw, thanks,
I appreciate it.
My agent wanted me
to throw this party.
Oh.
Yeah, he wants me to loosen up.
He's right.
I've met your type before,
so desperate
to control their lives,
they forget to enjoy it.
So answer me this.
If you were to ever,
you know, let go,
what is it you'd
really want to do?
I, uh...
Yeah.
I...
I want to skip my morning
workout sometimes.
Boring.
Just chill on the couch
and watch Master Chef.
This is the fantasy life
of a postmenopausal housewife.
Come on, Ty, there must
be something deeper.
I, um...
Yeah.
I want to get laid so damn bad.
(laughing):
And there it is.
You got no idea how hard it is
holding out for marriage, man.
Uncomfortably hard, I'm sure.
(both chuckle)
Look, I was going to
with my girl,
but, uh, we broke up.
Oh...
I thought she was gonna be
the mother of my children.
Well, she wants to be
the mother of your children.
Come on, Ty,
it's the fourth quarter,
but you can still
win this game.
I mean, look at her:
death and taxes
are less of a sure thing.
No, I can't.
But you desire her.
Why fight it?
Because my mother
taught me that...
Oh, no, don't-don't bring her
into this; that's disgusting.
Uh... it's about you.
What do you want?
Her.
Well, then "carpe diem,"
my friend.
Ah, hello again,
my little cannonball.
Sorry, I didn't
introduce myself earlier.
Lucifer. Morningstar.
Seriously?
Yes, yes.
I'm the Devil, hope you'll
hold it against me.
Lucifer Morningstar,
the guy who owns Lux?
That's me.
(laughing):
No, it's not.
I've seen him before.
His beats are sick.
I very much beg your pardon.
Beats?
Yeah.
He performed at a rap battle
last week in the Valley.
Every single part of that
sentence horrifies me.
It is so gross
that you're pretending
to be someone you're not.
(scoffs)
Even your accent is fake.
(weak coughing)
Me!
(scoffs)
♪ Now I'm feeling
like a monster... ♪
(chuckles)
Don't mind if I do.
♪ Monster, monster ♪
♪ Ah, ah-ah... ah, ah-ah ♪
♪ Monster, monster ♪
♪ Ah, ah-ah, ah, ah-ah ♪
♪ Monster, monster. ♪
TY:
Lucifer.
Wake up.
Something really bad happened.
Well, I hope you enjoyed
every minute of it.
No, no, no, you
don't understand.
Look, I'm freaking out, okay?
Can you just help me, please?
I need that favor.
Right.
♪ ♪
(gulls screeching)
Mommy, did Daddy
forget to pick me up?
No, monkey, I'm sure
he's just stuck in traffic.
Are you doing
homework?
Um, sort of.
What's the assignment?
Uh, well, I saw Lucifer do
some things I can't explain.
Is Lucifer a magician?
That's sort of what
I'm trying to figure out.
When Daddy gets here,
maybe he can help.
Mm.
Sometimes Daddy helps me
with my homework.
I'm not sure if Daddy has
the answers to these questions.
Why don't you
just ask Lucifer?
Because if he's a magician, then
he won't reveal his secrets.
So I have to find out
on my own how Lucifer does...
(cell phone rings, buzzes)
these things that I can't...
explain.
Oh, that can't be him.
(phone beeps on)
Decker.
Lucifer, how did you
even get this number?
LUCIFER:
Excuse the mess,
but it's so good of you
to come, Detective Decker.
Thanks for being super-cryptic
in a really unhelpful way.
(chuckles)
What's the emergency?
Well, it's-it's better to
show than tell, really.
I...
♪ ♪
CORONER: Petechial
hemorrhaging in the eyes.
Contusions
on the neck.
Signs of strangulation.
And one of the victim's
fake nails was ripped off.
Signs of struggle.
We got a murder
on our hands.
Thanks.
CHLOE:
So what happened?
TY: Um, well, I woke up early,
'cause my head hurt.
I, uh...
I had a hangover.
I... I've never
drank before, so...
That's on me. Sorry.
Yeah, so I came down
to get some water,
and that's-that's
when I saw her in the pool.
Did you know her?
Not before last night.
I talked to her for
a little bit.
Her name
was, uh...
Ali, maybe?
I don't know. I mean, I'm having
a hard time remembering.
You think she
accidentally slipped,
fell in the pool
and drowned?
No, I think she was murdered.
Oh, my God, that's...
that's terrible.
So why didn't you call
the police right away?
Well, I told Lucifer.
He said... he said that
he would call the police.
LUCIFER:
And I did.
Detective Decker's
a homicide detective.
She's been very helpful
in the other murders
that I've encountered.
I am not your personal
police concierge.
You are gonna find out
who did this, aren't you?
(inhales)
Of course I am,
because that's my job.
Right.
Not because
you want me to.
(scoffs) Right.
First things last:
Do you have any idea
who had contact
with her last night?
Um, no, uh, no, but they asked
me to get the... the guest list.
(quietly):
Oh, geez.
250 guests.
You know what
that means.
Great party.
250 suspects.
Oh. Uh, I'd be careful
with that thing
in the guest bedroom.
There's a good chance
you'll go blind.
Unspeakable acts.
Yes, we got a little
carried away. (chuckles)
Stop interfering.
I'm helping.
You forget that
my expertise
is finding the right people
to punish, Detective.
It's what I do.
Or, uh, did, at least.
You want to do something?
Then help account for everyone
who was at the party.
Oh.
Coroner puts
the time of death
between 1:00 and 3:00 a.m.
Actually, is there someone
who can vouch for your
whereabouts at the time?
Several someones, in fact.
Yes.
Get them to tell you
every little detail
just to make sure
that I'm not lying.
I'll have someone else
handle that.
So... a bona fide killer on the
loose that needs to be punished.
Time to punch in.
There she is.
Do you know anyone here?
No. Sorry.
I mean, people just
show up to these things.
Did anyone look suspicious?
(scoffs) Where do
we start, Detective?
I mean, look at those
big strong hands.
Perfect for squeezing
the life out of someone.
Oh, ginger lad.
Soulless bastards.
Give even me the creeps.
I...
You need to sit
with the witnesses.
LUCIFER:
Haven't I proven myself
extremely useful at detectiving?
Actually, no, I don't need
your help color-commentating.
I need facts
and hard evidence.
So unless you can help
me with either, stay.
But I don't want to be stuck
out here with these miscreants.
These are your people.
Detective!
(huffs)
(woman retching, vomiting)
This won't do at all.
Hey.
I heard all hands on deck.
I came as quick as I could.
Yeah, and on time.
Look, Chloe,
I'm sorry about earlier, okay?
I got held up at an arrest
in Hollywood.
I couldn't get away.
I get it, Dan.
Save the apologies for Trixie.
This is work,
and right now,
we have a victim
with no fingerprints on file.
These all the unclaimed items
from the party?
Yeah, I checked everything.
Unfortunately, no I.D.
that matches our victim.
So, what are you thinking?
Well, I'm thinking our victim
wore a cute red dress.
There's no way she'd have
that pink clutch.
She was out to have fun,
so that nixes anything big
and bulky, like a tote.
I don't know.
I'm looking for
something small,
a little sexy...
classy.
Something like this.
Wait a minute,
I-I thought you said
all this stuff was
searched already for I.D.
I'm not looking for an I.D.
I'm looking for a car.
(car alarm chirps)
Ali Thornton, 23,
from Boise, Idaho.
Her info matches
the registration
we found in the glove box.
Hmm.
She was a long
way from home.
What were you doing here, Ali?
I'll see what I can
find on her.
Detectives,
found something
in the master bedroom.
Found this here in the bed.
And it matches the missing
fingernail of the victim.
Isn't this Ty's bedroom?
Yeah, looks like they did
a lot more than talk.
(woman moaning
passionately nearby)
(Lucifer moans with pleasure,
as woman's moans continue)
What the hell are you doing?
Well, since you banished me
outside with the lepers,
I decided to make myself useful.
You call watching porn
on your phone useful?
This isn't my phone, Detective.
I think it's
our recently departed's.
Where did you get this?
Just heard a ringy-ding
and followed the noise.
Now, is delete
the little rubbish bin--?
No.
You can't delete
anything on this phone.
But it shows
Ty and Ali having sex.
It's very distracting.
(quietly):
Wait.
Ooh, you've reached
the money shot?
Are you taping this?
TY: I don't know.
Over there,
we had a drink.
And I didn't know
the girl that well.
Where are you going?
Detective!
Hey!
What's going on?
Detective, you're
making a mistake.
Stay out of this, Lucifer.
Cuff him.
Wait, what?
Ty Huntley,
you're under arrest
for the murder
of Ali Thornton.
This is ridiculous.
Lucifer,
this is all your fault.
I wish I'd never met you.
(siren wailing in distance)
(indistinct radio
communication)
(sighs)
Trust me, Detective.
I have been doing
this a long time.
I know evil.
You've arrested the wrong man.
The person responsible
is still out there.
How are you so sure?
What desire would Ty have
to kill a girl
giving him a
wonderful time?
Ty had a squeaky-clean image.
He sleeps with a girl.
Then he finds out
she's taping him.
She's gonna ruin everything.
He gets angry
and loses control.
You saw the video.
The only thing that
that video proves
is that Ty had sex.
He was horny, not murderous.
Then why would he lie about it?
Blame the tequila.
He had motive and opportunity.
Look, I just want to make sure
that you're punishing
the right person.
I will.
That's what I do.
Lovely, we want the same thing.
And there's
something else on the phone
that you should look into--
No more porn.
I'm good.
No, it's not that.
We should look into it--
"We," as in the LAPD,
will look into it.
You can go now.
("Delta Rights - Oil Boom"
by Ryan Taylor intro playing)
♪ ♪
(Lucifer sighs deeply)
Line up some shots, Maze.
(grunts)
Oh, hell, I may
just take a bottle.
Thank you.
That was the LAPD.
Ah, was Detective Decker
calling to apologize?
Unless it involves lingerie,
I don't accept.
Financial Investigations Unit.
Hmm?
Apparently, you destroyed
the honeymoon suite
at the Budget Hut
in Tarzana last night.
I'd rather return
to the fires of Hell
than spend a night in Tarzana.
And then, someone
with your name and credit card
skipped out on a $2,000 tab
at Zany Wings.
(laughs)
Do I look like
I'd eat a Zany Wing?
Someone is
clearly masquerading as me!
Rap battles
and hot wings?
You need to find
this cheap knockoff
and make him suffer--
do you understand?
Why?
You said it yourself--
humans are fascinating, right?
(scoffs)
I can't wait to see
what this one does next.
Zany Wings.
(laughs)
♪ You got me dead to rights. ♪
It's not right!
I mean, Budget Huts
and Zany Wings?!
I mean,
this malfeasant reprobate
is diluting the Lucifer brand!
Finally, I get my father's beef
with graven images.
Sounds like this guy's
really gotten under your skin.
Typical in a town
full of charlatans.
Eh, this is a place
built on lies
where nothing is authentic
or genuine.
You don't even
have to be famous
to get a star
on the Hollywood Walk of Fame?
You can just buy one!
Are we still talking
about the impostor?
Yes. I'm gonna tear him
limb from limb.
Uh... is it possible
you might be overreacting a bit?
No! How would you feel
if some off-the-rack impostor
was dragging your name
through the trenches of Encino?
Well, someone stole my identity
a few years back.
And after a
few long calls
to the IRS and the bank,
everything was fine.
No big deal.
"No big deal."
(laughs)
That's because you're you.
I'm me!
And this is a-a travesty!
But your reaction,
your anger toward this
minor inconvenience,
feels a little...
disproportionate
to the crime.
(scoffs):
Wha...?
There might be
some displacement.
I'll show you displacement
when I displace his bollocks,
and throw them on the floor
and stamp on them one at a time!
Uh, um...
Why don't you tell me again
about this case
you were working on?
Well...
nothing more to say.
A girl was killed
and Detective Decker
is going after the wrong person.
And that doesn't bother you?
Well, why should it?
Well, because from everything
you've told me,
it sounds like Ty probably had
nothing to do with this murder.
That he got himself into--
or someone helped him into--
a bad situation.
And that bothers you.
Yes.
Why?
Because I punish the guilty.
And Ty's not guilty.
(Emily Bell's "Back to the Way
I Was" playing)
♪ Oh, oh, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Oh, oh... ♪
Detective Chloe
Decker, LAPD.
I'm here to see Ty Huntley's
agent, Joe Hanson.
I'm sorry,
without an appointment--
(laughter nearby)
LUCIFER: Let me get this
right-- your clients
do all the work, yet you
chaps make all the money?
Really?
And they call me the Devil!
(laughter)
If I ever return to Hell,
you kids will be
my first call.
Especially you.
Oh, one last thing
before I go.
Which of you is into killing
attractive redheads?
(coughs)
Lucifer?
Detective!
A word?
Oh?
♪ ...back to the way I was. ♪
What the hell do you
think you're doing?
Finding, then punishing
Ali Thornton's actual killer.
How did you know
to come to this agency?
I tried to tell you, Detective.
On the dead girl's phone.
She called here--
Here and traded calls
with Ty's agency
a few hours before
she was killed.
I know, I checked
her phone records.
And you're welcome.
I also able found out
that the call
was transferred
to Ty's agent, Joe Hanson.
Right, so why did the dead girl
even know Ty's agent?
I mean, she was
Ty's one night stand.
It hardly makes sense.
Well, that's what
I'm here to find out.
And that's
why you can go now.
(laughing)
What's so funny?
Well, the fact that
you think I'm gonna go.
It's hilarious actually.
Lucifer, I don't need your help.
Look, I'm not trying
to solve this for you.
I'm ensuring that the right
person is held responsible.
Look, come on, I've been helpful
before, haven't I, Detective?
You step out of line one time--
You can give me a right-good
spanking, I promise.
Come on, let's go.
MAN: Ty wouldn't do
something like this.
He's such a good kid.
I'm actually more curious
about you, Mr. Hanson.
Me? (chuckles)
Why? I didn't even
go to the party.
I had to work.
CHLOE: You spoke to the victim a
few hours before she was killed.
Maybe it's best if I don't say
anything without my attorney.
Joey! Joe, Joe.
There's no need for that.
Why don't you
tell me what you
really want, hmm?
What desires drive
a man such as yourself?
I want to be
the greatest agent of all time.
Really?
And to do that,
I need to protect my clients.
Come on.
And, uh...
If you want to protect Ty,
tell us what you know.
(chuckles)
Let's make a deal.
I'll tell you everything.
You look into something.
Here's a deal.
Tell us everything,
and I don't cuff you
in front of your
co-workers and take you in.
I know how this goes.
Ali's a young actress
looking for a break.
An agent promises
to help her out, in exchange,
she's treated them like a party
favor to your star clients.
Okay, okay.
I did call Ali.
I hired her to have sex with Ty.
Wow, seems I wasn't
the only one
who wanted the young virgin
to loosen up.
No, I loved the virgin angle.
It's a clean hook,
got him a lot of attention.
But Ty was a mess.
I needed him
to get over his ex.
Why?
Geez.
Popular boy, this Ty--
isn't he?
So what, did this anger
his ex or something?
No, it's from his ex,
Debra Macall.
She left this behind
one of the many
times she came here
trying to find him.
She used to call all the time
trying to get a hold of him.
So, he dated a crazy fan?
He didn't know it
at the beginning.
So when I figured it out,
he had already fallen for her.
Oh, suppose I can
understand why.
(chuckles)
JOE: See, after a while,
Debra got possessive,
controlling--
she thought
she was managing him.
So I told Ty he needed
to break up with her.
He refused.
I made Ty file
a restraining order
after she broke a girl's nose
just for buying him a mojito.
Quite a hair trigger
on this Debra,
by the sounds of it.
Hmm.
If Debra found out
that Ty was with
that poor girl...
Hmm. Finally, some rain.
Maybe someone up there
is looking out for us.
I can assure you,
He's in no way
meteorologically inclined.
Apart from
the whole Noah thing,
and that was a one-off.
Anyhow, her roommate confirmed
that she took
the 4:00 p.m. class, so...
Ty's ex should be
out any second now.
I told you
you had the wrong man.
Wrong gender as well,
apparently.
Finally, we're getting warmer.
Why are you so hell-bent
on proving Ty's not the killer?
Like I've been saying,
I want to punish
the real killer.
But why?
Is it 'cause you pushed him
towards Ali at the party?
Well, I don't see what that
has to do with anything.
And I think you're starting
to agree with me.
Otherwise, you wouldn't
be here, would you?
Bye!
CHLOE:
There she is.
(women conversing
indistinctly in distance)
That was great.
I'll call you at lunch.
I'm over here.
CHLOE:
Debra Macall?
I'm Detective Decker, LAPD.
We need to ask you a few
questions about Ty Huntley.
I've got nothing to say.
It's either here
or down at the station.
Leave me alone!
CHLOE: Debra...
(car alarm blaring,
horn honking)
See?
Warmer.
(siren whoops)
Found this on
the undercarriage.
Remote detonator.
Whoever set off
this bomb was nearby.
Scour the security cameras
in the area.
Get facial I.D.'s on anyone
in a hundred-block radius.
LUCIFER:
You couldn't live with yourself
for committing murder,
so you set your car
to explode, didn't you?
Eh? Wanted to go out
in a blaze of glory.
Of course not!
Murder? What are
you talking about?
LUCIFER:
Oh, come on...
The bomb was triggered remotely.
Whoever set it off did it
before you got to the car.
There's a clear
line of sight.
I don't think the plan
was to kill you.
I think they wanted
to scare you.
So... you know of any reason why
someone would want to do that?
No.
Yes, why did you run, Debra?
Awfully guilty-looking.
I thought you were
going to bust me
for violating
my restraining order.
I went to Ty's party last night.
I-I just...
I just looked.
From outside,
through the window.
I couldn't help it, I miss him.
Yes, breaking up's
so hard, isn't it?
You're like two
pathetic peas in a pod.
Okay, we are made
for each other.
As good as he is at football,
that's how good I am
at being his girlfriend.
You mean ex-girlfriend.
We never stay broken up.
It's just a phase.
And no one looks out
for him the way that I do.
And then I saw him
kissing that girl and I...
Squeezed the life out of her?
DEBRA:
No!
Where were you between
1:00 and 3:00 a.m.
this morning?
The only place that
always makes me feel better.
(sobbing)
DAN: How long
does this go on?
CHLOE:
Three hours.
(wry laugh)
That's the saddest thing
I've ever seen.
CHLOE:
Yep. All-night froyo shop
puts Debra there well past
the time of the victim's death.
Her alibi checks out.
So Debra didn't strangle Ali.
Well, whoever
planted the bomb
went to great lengths
to make us think Debra did it.
Why?
I don't know.
We might actually know
who rigged the car.
Ronnie Hillman.
CHLOE:
The big Hollywood fixer?
Yeah.
A security cam
caught her
walking nearby,
right after the explosion.
This can't be a coincidence.
Someone must've
hired her for this.
I've been trying to build a case
on her for years,
and every time
we've approached her,
she's lawyered up immediately.
Ronnie is a pro.
So how do we approach her?
She's picky about
talking to strangers.
Definitely no cops.
What about someone
she'd never expect us
to work with?
LUCIFER:
Do I get a code word?
You know, for when
you take her down.
If so,
might I suggest
"monkey bottoms"?
'Cause trust me, I can work that
into any sentence
quite naturally.
You sure this
is a good idea?
Lucifer reached out to her
and she agreed to meet him,
so it's our best shot.
And you won't need a code word,
and you won't be miked,
because she'll be
looking for that.
This is a simple handoff.
All we need you to do
is vouch for Dan
as someone
that needs her services.
Vouch for Detective Douche?
Oh, gosh, this is gonna
be harder than I thought.
Once I engage with her,
I will hire her
to fix a problem
of mine.
Right. Well, if it's
that stick up your ass,
I'm afraid there's no one
strong enough to pull that out.
She goes there
to fix my problem,
our people will be waiting
to arrest her.
Ah.
CHLOE:
And then we'll
have leverage
to find out what she knows
about Ali's murder.
She has information we need,
so let's just stick to the plan.
Assuming, of course,
Ronnie hasn't run off
because our sting
suddenly turned into
a Michael Bublé concert.
Lucifer,
this isn't a game.
Oh.
Now, are you
up for this or not?
Am I up for encouraging someone
to commit a nefarious act?
Mm, let me think.
Put me in, Coach.
(sighs)
♪ Drown my woes in a
lake of fire, sing a song... ♪
Ooh, lovely moves.
♪ Drown my woes
in a lake of fire ♪
♪ Sing a song
gonna take me higher... ♪
Try to look
even more like a douche.
Mission accomplished.
♪ Lucifer gonna set me free ♪
♪ Good Lord turned
his back on me ♪
♪ Lucifer gonna set me free... ♪
She's here.
Okay, great. Here we go.
(music playing over speakers)
♪ Never got no good
doing what I'm told ♪
♪ It's a mean world
that I've known ♪
♪ Now you'll find me
where the devil don't go... ♪
Ronnie Hillman,
problem-solver extraordinaire.
Oh...
(laughs)
Mm, you checking for a wire
or are you just pleased
to see me?
(laughs)
Little bit of both.
Mmm! (chuckles)
Hello, Mr. Morningstar.
Rest assured...
I can help you
with your problem.
Well, actually,
I don't need your help.
I...
Wait, what do you think
my problem is?
Impostor running around
ruining your name.
Your professional reputation
has taken a bit of a dive.
As has your sexual one,
I'm afraid.
All those
unsatisfied ladies...
Word gets around.
That is the reason
you reached out to me, isn't it?
Yes.
Yes, it very much is.
I do have a problem
that could use your help.
I am all yours.
Oh! Well, I like you,
monkey bottoms. (chuckles)
Here's what I need you to do...
♪ ... doing what I'm told... ♪
(whispering):
Lucifer, what are you doing?
(music playing over speakers)
Hey, Dan, what's going on?
DAN:
I don't know.
They're still talking.
And now she's leaving.
LUCIFER:
Lovely.
What the hell did you do?
I hired the fixer to fix
a problem, like you wanted.
You let her go.
What happened to the plan?
I made a better one.
How?
Just sit tight
and we'll all get what we want.
(gasps, grunts)
Finally!
(whimpers)
The would-be Prince of Darkness.
Payment due
upon delivery.
(wry laugh)
I'd like to examine
the goods first.
RONNIE:
Your dime.
Right.
Let's see the face
of my impostor.
(Maze laughs)
The resemblance
is uncanny.
It most certainly is not.
(giggling)
How could anyone think
that you were me?
(false British accent): You know
who you're messing with?
I'm Lucifer
freaking Morningstar!
Oh...
Are you now?
Well... you've certainly
been a busy bee,
haven't you, "Lucifer"?
Eh?
Apparently, you've started
a modeling agency,
pitched a Web series.
And I hear
you've also been
very active with the women.
Ladies love me.
What can I say?
It's what they've been saying
that's the trouble.
It seems you're a bit
of a two-pump chump.
Also, a crier afterwards.
That happened one time.
Right. Well, we can't
have you running around
cheapening the Lucifer brand,
now, can we?
What do you say, Maze?
Impalement?
MAZE:
Hmm...
Why rush?
I say the rack.
Oh.
Oh!
Ooh.
That way,
we can really enjoy it.
LUCIFER: Better.
Yes, much better.
Every joint of every limb
dislocated before it's torn off.
No, no, no, no, no-- look, look,
look, I just... I just...
I just wanted to get chicks
and-and free drinks.
Um, really.
(dropping accent):
My name is Justin.
I'm from Sherman Oaks.
(Maze and Lucifer laughing)
Oh, Justin...
the things I'm gonna do to you.
Oh, no, no, no,
I-I'm sorry!
I only came here one time
and I just told some girls
that I owned the place, and...
and that opened
some doors for me
and so I just
started rolling with it.
How dare you abscond my name!
Please, don't hurt me.
Please.
LUCIFER:
I'm not gonna hurt you,
Justin,
I'm going to destroy you.
Oh, this is so hot.
It's like you're
punishing yourself.
Seems I could be just, um,
overreacting a bit.
Go.
Go on!
And never sully my name again.
Let's at least take a finger.
We've done enough, Maze.
Pleasure doing business
with you, Lucifer.
Yes, it was, wasn't it?
Which is why I'm going to have
to apologize for my friends.
What friends?
CHLOE:
Ronnie Hillman,
you're under arrest
for kidnapping and assault.
Would you mind
calling my lawyer?
(handcuffs tightening)
Her number's in
my back pocket.
Yeah, sure thing.
I'll tell her
about the kidnapping,
the airtight evidence we have,
the attempted murder
on Debra Macall,
and then when we connect you
to Ali Thornton's murder,
maybe you'll get
a nice injection of drugs,
and you can go to sleep forever.
Hang on-- I had nothing
to do with Ali's murder.
Debra Macall, Ty Huntley's ex,
she's the murderer.
I cared about Ali.
Mm-hmm, here's what I think.
I think you tried to scare Debra
into confessing to Ali's murder,
but Debra didn't do it.
She's got an ironclad alibi.
This is my fault.
Why?
I promised Ali
I would protect her.
All she ever wanted
was to be an actress.
She was gonna leave her mark.
But you know how that goes.
Endless rejection,
she ran out of money.
This was her first gig with me.
She didn't even know
if she could do it.
But I told her... I told her
it was just like acting.
Besides, who doesn't want
to sleep with Ty Huntley?
I thought Ty's agent hired
Ali to sleep with him.
He hired me for a number
three special: blackmail.
Slip him a roofie, get naked,
whip out a selfie stick,
and voilà.
LUCIFER: Why would
he have any desire
to blackmail his
own star client,
a client he's all
about protecting?
Ty's agent told you
that Debra killed Ali.
He did, yeah.
You think Joe's the killer,
that he took things into
his own hands, quite literally.
We don't have any proof.
Right, well, how do you
propose that we get him?
Joe pointed the finger
right at Debra,
painted her as crazy.
It's not that hard a picture
to paint, in her case.
Why was he so certain
she'd make a good suspect?
Maybe he found out
she went to Ty's party.
Maybe he knew she
went to Ty's party.
You are looking
at the future of football.
The American Dream.
Honest, resilient, heroic.
The police tried to pin
the death of that
poor girl on you.
But we kept it
out of the press.
We got you out of jail.
We will always
protect you...
and make you a bigger
star than ever.
This is
Ty Huntley...
rebranded. (laughs)
LUCIFER:
Rebranded, eh?
Does it come
with a new scent?
Free toy inside?
What do you want?
Ty is free on bail.
We have to talk to Ty
down at the station again,
maybe walk him
past a few reporters.
Whoa, hold on, uh,
Joe, what is this?
Oh, come on!
This is ridiculous.
Ty wouldn't
hurt anybody!
What about Debra?
I told you to look into her.
She's the crazy one.
Yes, well, I thought
it was her all along.
I mean, the woman certainly
redefines "intensity."
But Debra was home with a friend
the night of the murder.
What?!
She's lying.
There's no evidence
placing her at the party.
No one saw her.
So are you ready
to face the cameras?
His sponsors will love
the free publicity.
Tell me, what's
ten percent of nothing?
I saw Debra there.
I went by the party.
But a work call came up,
and I never made it inside.
I didn't say anything before
because I told my wife
I was working late.
When I was driving away,
I saw Debra outside Ty's window.
So you admit you were
there that night.
Yeah, and so was Debra.
That's the proof
you need, right?
CHLOE: That's
the proof we need.
We have a sworn statement
from Ronnie Hillman
saying that you hired the victim
to make a sex tape with
Ty to blackmail him.
I just needed to place
you at the scene.
LUCIFER: Yeah, see,
that's why I don't lie.
It's so hard to keep track
of who knows what.
It's not true.
I only want what's
best for you, Ty.
You know, I still
don't understand.
Why is it my own agent
would want to blackmail me?
Because he thought eventually
you were gonna leave him.
What, because I took one meeting
with another agency?
Joe...
I only did that
to make Debra happy.
But even though
you'd broken up,
he knew you'd get
back together,
so he decided to strike first,
get some leverage.
If he left me,
I would be ruined.
I mean,
do you understand?
He is my Brady, my Manning.
But Ali wasn't cut out
for this sort of thing, was she?
She didn't want
to give you the video.
Stupid bitch.
She said she realized
Ty was a good guy.
She didn't want to go
through with it.
Her name was Ali Thornton,
and you killed her.
For what?
Greed? Ego?
I didn't want to hurt her.
I just wanted her phone. And...
(Joe sighs)
But I squeezed too hard.
I'm done.
Forget this.
I'm out of here.
(gasps)
Did I squeeze too hard?
How did you...?
What did...?
Lucifer, what are you doing?
Finally focusing my
anger where it belongs.
Lucifer...
(chuckles)
Yes, of course.
Your turn, Detective.
(sirens wailing,
radio chatter)
I still can't believe
Joe did this.
I wasn't ever gonna
leave him, you know that?
Definitely gonna leave him now.
But you know what,
you, uh...
you stayed good
to your word, Lucifer.
Thank you.
Yes, well, now you owe me one.
DEBRA:
Ty!
Ty! Ty!
Oh, my baby.
Oh, my God, I'm
so glad to see you.
Oh.
You are?
Yes, you are
crazy, baby.
But you're my crazy,
you hear me?
Yeah?
Warms the cockles,
doesn't it?
So, Detective,
looks like you've
solved another case
because of me.
I solved this case despite you.
What? What about the
cell phone I found?
That was key evidence.
Evidence you
almost destroyed.
I got you the leverage
you needed to crack Ronnie.
You co-opted a sting operation
for your own gain.
And I solved another crime.
Identity theft.
(chuckles)
Come on, admit it--
we solved this one together.
Or are you too egotistical
to acknowledge my help?
Okay, yeah, you didn't
completely destroy the case.
So you can stop blaming
yourself, great.
Whatever do you mean?
The whole reason you tried
to prove Ty's innocence?
Was to catch the true culprit.
Yeah, sure.
LUCIFER: So I decided
not to punish myself.
Yourself?
Well, my fake self.
The person
I'd kidnapped.
I decided not
to beat him up.
(sighs) You were right,
I was, um...
(sighs loudly with satisfaction)
What's the word?
Displacing?
...displacing my anger
and frustration on Luci-phony,
because the right person wasn't
being punished for Ali's death.
And who was the right person?
Well, the sleazy
agent, of course.
Ah, yeah.
Of all the cities in
the world, Lucifer,
why did you decide
to come to Los Angeles?
Well, the same reason
as everyone else.
Uh, the weather,
porn stars,
Mexican food-- mm!
Mmm.
You know, you say... you
say people are phony here,
but I think people come here
to reinvent themselves.
And I think that's
why you're here.
To reinvent yourself.
Why would I mess
with perfection?
You like working with
the detective, don't you?
I told you, I'm good
at punishing people--
nay, I'm the best
at punishing bad people.
I didn't enjoy it when
my father forced me to,
but now that it's
on my own terms,
it's downright delightful.
Yeah, well, I think
you don't just enjoy
punishing the bad guys.
I think you're starting
to like seeking justice
for the good ones.
Like Ali.
(Lucifer scoffs)
It's another reason
to hate L.A.--
all this self-
indulgent therapy.
You should be ashamed.
You're doing it again.
What?
Displacing.
No, I'm not.
And that's denial.
That's a river in Africa.
(chuckles)
♪ ♪
♪ You looked so good at first ♪
♪ When I didn't know your name ♪
♪ But you took me by surprise ♪
♪ You made me feel so strange ♪
♪ Ooh... ♪