[eerie music playing]
[narrator] At last, the clock has run out.
Chaos grips the throat of the WWE.
Armageddon.
The end is here.
-[dramatic music playing] -[Booker] JBL…
-[Eddie] JBL… -[Undertaker] JBL,
your day of reckoning has come.
[Booker] Your sins have taken you too far.
[Michael] He cheated to beat all three of them.
And now JBL is gonna have to pay the price.
[Eddie] Whichever way you turn, homes…
[Undertaker] …leads to a dead end.
[Booker] Your confidence fools no one.
[Undertaker] And your actions are those of a desperate man.
[JBL] I am the richest, most successful WWE Champion of all time.
[Eddie] All the money in the world, it can't help you now.
[Booker] So clasp that gold one last time…
[Undertaker] …because your gutless championship run ends tonight.
[singer] ♪ No more ♪
[JBL] I am getting screwed.
-[Undertaker] Beg for redemption. -[Eddie] Beg for redemption.
-[JBL] Virtually impossible odds. -[Undertaker] The end is here.
-[Booker] The end is here. -[JBL] This is a sick joke.
-[Eddie] Ese, your time is over. -[Booker] Your time is over.
[Michael] Desperation in the eyes of the champion.
-[Booker] No salvation. -[Undertaker] No salvation.
[Eddie] When I become the new…
[Booker] …WWE Champion.
[Undertaker] Rest in peace.
[singer] ♪ The end is here ♪
[narrator] And now SmackDown presents WWE Armageddon.
[crowd cheering]
[Michael] For the WWE Champion John "Bradshaw" Layfield,
the end is indeed here.
You are looking live at the arena at Gwinnett Center in Atlanta, Georgia.
Welcome to Armageddon.
I'm Michael Cole, joined by Tazz at ringside.
And, partner, are you ready for this?
Oh, I'm ready. Hotlanta's ready.
All the SmackDown superstars are ready.
My God, what a spectacle here tonight, Cole,
-big time. -And do you know who else is ready?
-Who? -Our Spanish colleagues,
-Hugo Savinovich, Carlos Cabrera. -Yeah.
-[speaking Spanish] -[speaking Spanish]
[speaking Spanish]
-["One Of A Kind" playing] -[crowd cheering]
-[explosions] -[Tazz] Oh!
[singer] ♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪
♪ One of a kind ♪
♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪
♪ One of a kind ♪
[bell rings]
[announcer] The following contest is scheduled for one fall
and it is for the WWE Tag Team Championship.
Approaching the ring, from Battle Creek, Michigan,
weighing in at 230 pounds,
one half of the tag team champions, Rob Van Dam.
[Michael] The complexion of Armageddon was changed three nights ago on SmackDown.
General Manager Theodore Long stopping a New York brawl,
made an impromptu tag team title match-up,
Mysterio and RVD against Kenzo and René Duprée.
And check out RVD helping Mysterio out.
-[bell rings] -[Tazz] Oh, Rob Van Dam and Mysterio
became champions in a very shady shenanigan-type way.
But you know what? By hook or crook, they did it.
Hey, you know what? You gotta win the titles. They did it.
[Michael] It was payback. Remember back at No Mercy,
René and Kenzo cheated to defeat Mysterio and Van Dam,
a little bit of payback for the new tag team champs.
["619" playing]
[Tazz] Oh, wow.
[Michael] And his partner, from San Diego, California,
weighing in at 175 pounds,
one half of the Tag Team Champions,
Rey Mysterio.
[Tazz] They call Rey Mysterio one of a kind, my man.
An enigma in our great industry.
So many… so many SmackDown and Raw superstars,
and wrestlers in general in this industry, respect this man
'cause what he can do is amazing.
[Michael] And think about all the great moments Rey Mysterio has had
here at Atlanta, Georgia over his career,
hoping to continue the tradition here tonight at Armageddon.
[Tazz] Listen, Van Dam and Mysterio have had major league success
in their careers all over the world.
[Michael] But it could be a short-lived title reign for the Tag Team Champions,
-three days to be exact. -["War Robe" playing]
[announcer] And the challenger, being accompanied to the ring
by Hiroko and Fifi,
at a combined weight of 510 pounds,
Kenzo Suzuki and René Duprée.
[Tazz] Well, you see Hiroko there.
She's got the French flag. Japanese woman, French flag.
Fifi the French-- Well, the Greek dog.
And, you know, Hiroko, we saw this past Thursday,
she was in her breeches… or not breeches.
Her underwear, right? You know, bra and panties.
[Michael] Speaking of Hiroko though, you know, she could almost be to blame
for Kenzo and René losing the tag team titles.
[Tazz] How d'you figure that?
[Michael] 'Cause she got in that incident with Torrie Wilson
where they were running around the ring in their bra and panties.
Kenzo and René came out and confronted Torrie,
which allowed Rey and RVD to get involved
and the general manager said, "You guys wanna fight?"
"All right, we'll make it a tag team title match,"
hence the tag team champions didn't have much time to prepare.
[Tazz] What's she got in her hair? She had like red balls…
What was that? I wanna see her… I guess she's gone now.
[Michael] I think it's new fashion.
[Tazz] What do you mean? Oh, okay. Like-- Look, see those red… What is that?
Like a Christmas thing going on there.
[Michael] Perhaps it is.
[Tazz] She looks kinda good though.
You know, she looks very… She looked a little different
last time I saw her running around in that black lacy bra and panties deal, huh?
-Remember that? You remember that, right? -[Michael] I remember.
[Tazz] We were just talking about it.
Well that's… Well, look, now she's fanning herself.
It is a little hot in this building.
Hey, Hiroko, let me get one of those fans.
-[Michael] Well, ladies and gentlemen… -[bell rings]
[Michael] …it's all about the WWE Tag Team Championship in this match-up.
Mysterio and Rob Van Dam, the new champions.
Kenzo and René would love to get the gold back
as we get set for the first time
in nearly three years that pay-per-view has come to Atlanta.
The last time that WWE was here, 2002 Royal Rumble,
and these fans, these great fans, are jacked.
[crowd chanting] RVD!
[Tazz] Big-time… you hear a chant here for Rob Van Dam.
And obviously Suzuki and Duprée have the goods to become champion
'cause they are the former champs as we pointed out.
Nice standard switch into an armdrag there by Rob Van Dam.
Now he's caught in a headscissors but a nice bridge.
[Michael] And Rob Van Dam uses that bridge
to try to get out of this predicament and he does.
[Tazz] Well, that's the flexibility. Now a standoff.
[Michael] And a little odd there.
You don't see Kenzo Suzuki mat wrestle much
but he started out that way against Rob Van Dam.
[Tazz] Well, you know, the man is from Japan and most Japanese wrestlers
are very well-versed on a mat, training in dojos,
a lot of training in submission,
and Kenzo with that martial arts background,
but Van Dam too has a martial arts background.
[Michael] Let's start… let's talk strategy.
First off with the champions, Van Dam and Mysterio-- Wow.
[Tazz] Well, strategy, first thing Suzuki wants to do is duck.
See, you wanna duck those kicks, you know?
[Michael] Here's Mysterio, in off the tag. And check this out.
They call that the 420, the double leg drop.
Here's the cover, hook of the leg, and a kickout.
The 420, of course, the four legs
and then the combined shoe sizes, the 20 for Mysterio and Van Dam.
[Tazz] That's right. You see here, you know,
Suzuki and René, they gotta be careful.
They can't get disqualified or counted out or anything
because they can't get-- Whoa!
[Michael] There's a crossbody, using the rope as a springboard.
The cover. Kenzo kicks out.
[Tazz] If Suzuki and Duprée were to get counted out or disqualified,
they can't… they can't become champions again.
Unlike, you know, maybe when they were champs,
they could kinda mess around a little bit.
But now, maybe get the duo disqualified, and still hold the championship.
[Michael] So if you're the champions, you wanna slow the pace down.
You don't wanna allow Van Dam and Mysterio to run around the ring and high-fly.
[Tazz] You're gonna see a different strategy
-for Duprée and Kenzo Suzuki tonight. -[Michael] Snapmare takedown.
Here's the tag with "The French Phenom" René Duprée.
A big kick to the mid-section of Rey Mysterio.
What about the champions, Tazz?
What's the mind-- I should say the challengers.
What's the mindset for Duprée and Kenzo?
I mean, three days ago, they thought tonight was gonna be their title defense.
They end up losing their titles on SmackDown.
What can their mindset be coming into this match?
[Tazz] Not for nothing. Hey, let's talk about it. This match…
It's the fact that they came into the match unprepared.
They did not know they're gonna be in a match.
They didn't know that they're gonna have to defend their titles.
And now they find themselves in a role reversal.
They're the challengers now.
I don't think it's fair to the champions, in my opinion.
[Michael] But if you're the champions, aren't you always supposed to be prepared?
[Tazz] Uh, yeah, I guess so, but you know, they weren't, they weren't.
I mean, I don't care if I was prepared, but, you know…
Yeah, you're supposed to be prepared but not to defend your titles at any time.
That's a little ludicrous, I think, that.
[Michael] Here's the quickness of Mysterio,
but ran right into the boot, onto the temple by René Duprée.
[Tazz] Oh, here it is, the very cocky Frenchman.
It's so-- I think we're gonna see the French Tickler here.
One of your favorite moves, the French Tickler.
[Michael] You're the one that sings during it.
[Tazz] Well, 'cause I'm like a recording artist.
I love to sing.
[Michael] And Mysterio, springboard on the second rope, lands on his feet.
Duprée misses with the big clothesline.
Rey Mysterio headscissors.
-Wait, Duprée is in position. -[Tazz] Yeah. That took a little bit.
The headscissor, could be 619 time.
[Michael] And Kenzo from behind, had Mysterio scouted and then paid for it.
[Tazz] So it did, but Mysterio now beating up on Suzuki--
[Michael] Up over the top, went for a sunset flip.
Kenzo Suzuki hanging on.
[Tazz] Well, I didn't know Rey was gonna go for a powerbomb,
but he's got a size disadvantage.
Suzuki is a big man.
-[Michael] And Kenzo-- -[Tazz] Hey, watch-- Look at Van Dam.
[Michael] Van Dam off the top rope.
A kick to the back of the head
into that powerbomb by Mysterio, with an assist by RVD.
[Tazz] That's what… that's why it's called teamwork.
That's why they're the champions.
Very good teamwork by Van Dam and Rey Mysterio.
[Michael] And look at Duprée, baseball slide taking out Rey Mysterio.
Van Dam outside the ring as well.
-Tag team title is on the line. -[Tazz] Watch this. Watch this.
[Michael] Duprée lands on the barricade and now the shots by Rob Van Dam.
[Tazz] Upper shots for sure, but Duprée tried to block that with his knees.
Watch this. I've been on the other end to this.
Watch Rob Van Dam here.
[Michael] A spinning leg drop right across the small of the back,
the ribs crashing into the barricade.
[Tazz] And the neck being contorted downward.
Tough deal right there.
Van Dam, he'll hit you from any spot in the ring at any time.
He's so damn versatile.
[Michael] And Duprée tossed back into the ring.
-Mysterio, Duprée, the legal men. -[Tazz] Here we go.
[Michael] Here's the cover. Shoulders down, Duprée may--
thought Duprée was gonna get defeated there,
as we take another look at the spin-- a spinning leg drop by Rob Van Dam.
[Tazz] Amazing athleticism by Rob Van Dam.
Missed it Thursday night, looking good on Sunday night.
[Michael] Here's the double-team. Duprée went across the ring.
-Now what? -[Tazz] Well, teamwork.
I see what they're doing there.
[Michael] Rob Van Dam, there's the monkey flip.
-[Tazz] Uh-oh. -[Michael] Mysterio dropkick to the chin.
The cover. Hook of the leg, shoulders down.
They have it and Duprée kicks out again.
[Tazz] See, now Van Dam and Mysterio,
they got some time here in the past few days
to really formulate some tag team strategy.
They thought they were going to this pay-per-view as the challenges.
[Michael] Wow.
[Tazz] Now they're the defenders of the titles
and they got a great chemistry going.
[Michael] Off the suplex.
What is this? Wait a minute.
Mysterio knocked off the apron, I believe, by Duprée.
[Tazz] Yeah, that's what it looked like might have happened there.
[Michael] Duprée now with the upper hand on Rob Van Dam.
Oh, what a standing dropkick.
You don't see that often out of the Frenchman.
[Tazz] Tell you what, Van Dam just got kicked
flat in the face by that standing dropkick.
[Michael] He went for a tag
but Kenzo still taken out outside the ring.
[Tazz] Well, Kenzo can't help Duprée if he's on the… on the ground hurt.
[Michael] Not at all. Look at Van Dam.
Look at this.
[Tazz] Off the rope.
[Michael] Rey Mysterio off the top rope.
Here's the cover.
Champion's in control and Duprée kicking out again,
as we take another look at the standing dropkick
-by René Duprée. -[Tazz] Watch this. Watch the face.
Oh, my God. I'll tell you, Van Dam's used to kicking feet with his face.
-Well-- -[Michael] Here's a cover again.
Hook to the outside leg and René Duprée doing all he can,
kicking out, in this match-up.
Kenzo Suzuki is still down and out outside the ring.
[Tazz] Well, I'm surprised Van Dam is knocked out. Here's Suzuki.
[Michael] Oh, Suzuki grabbing the legs of Rob Van Dam
and it allows Rey Mysterio with a big--
I should say René Duprée with a big clothesline
to take out Van Dam.
[Tazz] Well, now here comes Suzuki with a tag.
Here we go now.
Now, you see that face there, the intensity of the Bronze Warrior.
Now they could pick up the pace, go with their strategy,
and try to walk out of Hotlanta new tag team champions.
[Michael] And this is… this is exactly what the challengers wanted to do.
They wanted to slow the pace down
and become physical against Mysterio and Van Dam.
[Tazz] See that right there? He went… [screams]
He meant like… that means like, "I'm gonna get you,"
or something like that.
Like… [screams weakly] …"I'm gonna get you," something like that.
[Michael] Van Dam with the-- Oh, and a big clothesline
by the former rugby star, Kenzo Suzuki.
Looked like he was playing rugby there.
[Tazz] Well, he's a handsome devil, look at him.
He should be on the cover of Japanese GQ or something.
[Michael] Well, that's why Hiroko married him, I guess.
[Tazz] Well, maybe. I heard other reasons.
You know, he's got the baggy pants on.
[Michael] Okay. And…
[Tazz] Well, you know, Cole, he's got baggy pants, you know?
Cole, come on. Connect the dots.
[Michael] And Kenzo continues to wear down Rob Van Dam.
This crowd with the "U.S.A." chants here at the arena at Gwinnett Center.
[Tazz] Well, this is exactly what the challengers have to do.
Suzuki and Duprée, they have to ground the high flyers.
If you can ground Van Dam and Mysterio, they will leave the champions.
Suzuki and Duprée will leave the champions
if they can keep Van Dam down and Mysterio.
[Michael] And there's a high elbow right into the side of the head.
Van Dam trying to crawl toward his corner
and Kenzo Suzuki isolating Van Dam yet again.
Van Dam back to his feet. Great spin kick up to the jaw.
Here's the tag on Rey Mysterio and here comes the fireplug.
[Tazz] Heads up now, man.
Don't get-- Don't let Rey Mysterio start moving and building momentum,
and he's gonna, I'm telling you.
[Michael] Mysterio with the big right hands.
[crowd] Two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
[Tazz] Major league shots to the head of Duprée.
[Michael] This crowd is behind Mysterio and Van Dam in this match-up.
[Tazz] He got caught.
[Michael] Mysterio trying to hang on to-- Look at Kenzo Suzuki.
-[Tazz] Yeah, but-- -[Michael] Hiroko had the referee--
Hiroko had the referee distracted and the challengers took advantage.
[Tazz] Beautiful move, that modified, like, neckbreaker across the top rope.
I never saw that done like that before. Very impressive.
[Michael] Hey, here's Torrie Wilson.
Torrie Wilson making a beeline for Hiroko.
[Tazz] Wait a minute. What the--
[Michael] Well, Torrie helping out RVD and Mysterio
much like they helped Torrie Wednesday night.
[Tazz] That's great. Let them roam all over the place. Get the camera on 'em.
[Michael] Well, let's get Hiroko out of the arena.
Now we've got an even playing field for the champions and the challengers.
[Tazz] Well, the damage has been done though.
So, right now-- Look, look. So you got… Mysterio's down.
He's hurting. Suzuki's been wearing out.
And, you know, Suzuki taking advantage of Charles Robinson
getting distracted, the referee, by Hiroko.
And then Torrie came out and I wish she would…
she was still out here. That would've been great.
[Michael] Well, that's why Kenzo and René Duprée
had been long-time tag team champions.
[Tazz] I thought he was gonna do the Japanese kicker.
[Michael] Look at this.
That knee driven right into the throat
-of Rey Mysterio. -[Tazz] Lot of height.
[Michael] They could be new tag team champions.
Not there. Mysterio able to kick out.
[Tazz] Yeah, well, Kenzo Suzuki got a lot of height right there.
Now an armbar with that forearm across the jawline of Rey Mysterio.
Suzuki… it's like we're saying earlier, you wanna keep the champions at bay,
keep them down.
They got that high-flying, devil-may-care, daredevil-style grounded.
[Michael] Kenzo continues the pressure on that arm and shoulder of Mysterio.
Mysterio trying to battle back with the right hands.
Rey Mysterio bounces off the ropes and Kenzo telegraphed that one.
Mysterio though… and again driving the knee.
Mysterio trying to crawl to the corner.
Can he make it to Rob Van Dam?
Wait. Can he get there? Almost. Just a fingertip away.
[Tazz] No, even in tag, you cannot give Rey Mysterio an opening.
He's so quick and he thinks ahead of you all the time, I'm telling you.
Just-- I'll tell you what, this is great tag team strategy,
great tag team wrestling by the challengers,
challengers right now, Duprée and the Bronze Warrior.
I like that, "The Bronze Warrior."
[Michael] Snapmare by René Duprée. Off the ropes.
Duprée kick right to the shoulder.
Continuing to work the shoulder of Mysterio.
Cover, hook of the leg, shoulders down,
and a kickout by Mysterio and a count of two.
[Tazz] Very smart of the challengers.
You gotta go for quick near-falls, you know,
pin covers to try and retain-- get your championship back.
[Michael] We all know about the ego that Duprée and Kenzo possess.
They were extremely distraught,
extremely upset, when they lost the tag team gold…
…in the sold-out show Thursday night on SmackDown
and they want the titles back here tonight.
[Tazz] I went back there and that one guy talked to me in French,
yelling and complaining, the other guy talking in Japanese.
I don't know. I don't wanna upset anyone at home-- oh, wow.
[Michael] Mysterio.
And René Duprée startled there for a bit.
Trying to get to the corner again. René Duprée--
[Tazz] Not quite right there. Not quite.
The power advantage of Duprée over Mysterio right there.
[Michael] And Kenzo Suzuki, in off the tag.
[Tazz] Hey, Cole, I'll tell you, I'm sensing a title change
any minute right now, I'm telling you.
[Michael] I'm with you. The challengers are wearing down Rey Mysterio.
-[Tazz] Wait a minute. You agree with me? -[Michael] Yeah, I do agree with you.
[Tazz] My God, the sky is gonna fall.
[Michael] Mysterio in a world of trouble here.
Wow. What a chop by the martial arts expert, Kenzo Suzuki.
[Tazz] And see now, the challengers, Suzuki and Duprée,
they know they got the champions where they want them.
They got Mysterio. Treating him as the sacrificial lamb.
Take your time, calculatingly and cold, keep him down and stomp on him.
[Michael] The "U.S.A." chants filling the area at Gwinnett Center.
Mysterio trying to play off the fifth-- the sixth man so to speak here.
Kenzo Suzuki grabs Mysterio again.
[Tazz] Well, that was good quickness by Rey, but then grabbing that rear…
that rear… reversed bear hug, that gutwrench by Suzuki
hanging on to Rey Mysterio.
-Look at this now. -[Michael] Wow. A suplex by Suzuki.
The crowd now chanting "RVD," wanting Van Dam in the match-up.
Here's the cover. Mysterio again just manages to kick out.
[Tazz] See that's what you have to do with Mysterio.
That back suplex.
You know, scramble his brain a little bit, drop him on his head a little bit,
so he can't put together mentally those crazy physical moves.
And how about these frequent tags though?
[Michael] Yeah. As the challengers continue to wear down the champions,
they're keeping themselves fresh.
[Tazz] Well, that's the idea. That's tag team wrestling 101.
-Except for this one. -[Michael] And again,
Mysterio tries to make it into the corner.
René Duprée keeping Mysterio at bay perhaps.
[Tazz] Well, blocking-- Duprée's blocking but Rey is getting close.
[Michael] Come on, Rey.
-Oh, and a cheap shot by Duprée… -[Tazz] Nice.
-[Michael] …knocking RVD off the apron. -[Tazz] That's beautiful.
-That was legal. -[Michael] It's a cheap shot.
[Tazz] What you talking about, cheap shot?
The man's trying to get in. Duprée's legal.
[Michael] Now as Van Dam comes into the match-up,
it allows a double-team to form by the challengers here
as the referee is busy with RVD.
[Tazz] Cole, we're gonna see that French Tickle,
but maybe Rey's not gonna do it here at Armageddon. I don't know.
Not Rey. What did I call him? That's René. It's close. Rey, René.
[Michael] Kenzo in off the tag again.
[Tazz] Well, you know, Armageddon, the end is near.
It could be the end.
The end could be near for the tag team champions'
short title reign.
[Michael] Look at Mysterio with the right hands.
It seems like Rey has run out of gas here perhaps.
Not much behind those right hands.
And Kenzo continues this physical assault.
[Tazz] Well, damn near a handicap match right now.
I mean, Duprée and Suzuki cutting the ring off.
Masterpiece plan here.
But, you know what, Cole?
Do not count Rey Mysterio out yet. No, you've seen Rey.
You know he can pull it out of a hat quick.
[Michael] We hear referee Charles Robinson asking Rey Mysterio
if he'd had enough and, of course, the champion's game.
He's not gonna give up in this situation.
[Tazz] Oh, Rey Mysterio is all heart and he's not gonna quit, that's for sure.
And Suzuki now, looks like… I don't know.
Is he taunting Mysterio?
[Michael] Oh, and another big shoulder knockdown as-- Here's the cover.
-[Tazz] Here we go. -[Michael] This should be it.
Hook to the leg and again Mysterio just manages to kick out.
-So close. -[Tazz] Oh.
[Michael] And what a kick by Mysterio catching Suzuki by surprise.
[Tazz] Now, he's just-- Look at Mysterio fighting from the ground here.
[Michael] He's fighting for his career here as Mysterio crawl into the corner.
[Tazz] Well, now he's gonna make the tag.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. He got hooked.
[Michael] And Kenzo again hooking in the leg of Mysterio
and dragging him back to the… to the wrong corner.
[Tazz] Did you say he was fighting for his career?
[Michael] Well, fighting for his tag team title career.
[Tazz] All right. Well, that's close.
A little… I'm staying on you, Cole.
I'm keeping an eye on you. Come on, man.
[Michael] Oh, and what a slam by Suzuki. Tag made to René Duprée.
And the 20-year-old Frenchman comes into the ring,
talking trash to Mysterio.
[Tazz] Whoa, whoa, whoa. Here we go. Here it comes.
French Tickler.
-Ready? From the Frenchman. -[Michael] Look at Kenzo.
[Tazz] I like that Kenzo does the thing too.
I'm a French tickling man.
-I'm-- -[Michael] Oh, and Duprée with a headbutt.
Here's the cover. Are we gonna crown new champions here? No!
[Tazz] He did a little strut there. A little-- What was that?
A little Paris strut? What do you call that?
[Michael] A Paris strut.
And here's Mysterio whipped across the ring.
[Tazz] Now Mysterio… You can damn near stand up, Rey.
[Michael] Oh, big elbow.
Mysterio trying to battle out of this.
[Tazz] Still-- Rey still got that spunk.
-Oh, man. -[Michael] Big kick to the chest.
[Tazz] A lot of peppering, a kick and that elbow, everything.
[Michael] Here's Mysterio. Look at this.
Hurricanrana.
Into the steel post goes René Duprée, shoulder first.
Now, Mysterio has an opportunity, perhaps, to make a tag.
[Tazz] Well, there's no give in that steel post.
That could tear the rotator cuff of Rey Mysterio. You're right.
He needs to get over to RVD and get him in this match.
[Michael] Mysterio crawling to the corner.
-Mysterio gets the tag. -[Tazz] Here we go.
[Michael] And here comes Rob Van Dam.
Van Dam into the ring with a right hand to Duprée.
Rob Van Dam all fired up.
There are the two feet of Rob Van Dam, knocking Duprée down.
Whoa! Big dropkick.
[Tazz] Great extension in the body of Van Dam with that dropkick.
[Michael] He's so flexible, is Van Dam.
Van Dam with a shoulder to the gut.
[Tazz] Watch out here. Look at this.
[Michael] Oh, what a slam by Rob Van Dam.
Check it out. Split-legged moonsault.
-Could it be? Cover. -[Tazz] He got him.
[Michael] The leg-- He's got him. No! Duprée kicking out again.
-[Tazz] Oh. -[Michael] There's payback.
[Tazz] Hey, you're right. It was payback. I don't blame Van Dam.
Van Dam trying to build momentum.
He's doing a hell of a job of it, to try and retain these titles.
Let's see here.
[Michael] Van Dam off the rope. Check it out.
Rolling Thunder.
That's the "Chalupa Roll" they call it.
Rob Van Dam, hook to the leg, shoulders down,
and Kenzo breaks it on the three-count.
Hammers away on Van Dam.
[Tazz] Well, I can't blame Kenzo, Cole.
Oh, man.
[Michael] Rey Mysterio taking Kenzo out of the equation.
Van Dam, the legal man, with René Duprée.
Look at Mysterio go, landing on the apron.
Falling off the apron.
And now Kenzo with a double team with René on Rob Van Dam.
[Tazz] Well, Van Dam is in trouble here, Cole. Two on one.
[Michael] Referee's got to get in there and get Kenzo out of the ring.
[Tazz] You're right. Got to get control there, ref.
[Michael] Van Dam… the champion is in trouble.
Oh, here-- Takes out René Duprée.
And now Van Dam takes out Kenzo.
[Tazz] Oh, that dropkick, unbelievable, look at this.
-[Michael] Rob Van Dam. -[Tazz] Oh, my God.
[Michael] Wow. Talk about physical.
[Tazz] Like he drove his head into the mat.
[Michael] Here's the cover, hook to the leg.
There's two, he's got him-- And again Duprée kicking out.
What a match-up.
[Tazz] I'm telling you, you've got to watch Van Dam.
Out of nowhere with those feet, they'll drop you like a bad habit.
[Michael] This is all about the tag team title.
-[Tazz] That's a flip. -[Michael] The WWE Tag Team Championship.
Well, Duprée ducked underneath the seated senton.
There's a dropkick to the small of the back.
[Tazz] Right where he wants him. Rey has got Duprée.
-Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh. -[Michael] And Kenzo back in the ring.
Kenzo-- What's this?
Oh, Duprée!
-[Tazz] Wait a minute. -[Michael] And Kenzo in trouble.
[Tazz] Two for the price of one here.
[Michael] A double 619.
[Tazz] What is that, like a 1219? Oh, no, it was close. Twelve…
[Michael] Oh, over the top goes Kenzo.
[Tazz] That was… that was impressive.
[Michael] Rob Van Dam, top rope legal man.
-[Tazz] Twelve-thirty-eight-- -[Michael] Five-star Frog Splash.
Rey takes out Kenzo.
Here's the cover. Hook to the leg.
-There's two. He got him. -[bell rings]
[Michael] Tag team champions retain the titles.
[announcer] Here are your winners and still
WWE Tag Team Champions,
Rey Mysterio and Rob Van Dam.
[Michael] So I see you doing a little…
-[Tazz] Yeah. -[Michael] …addition on your paper here.
[Tazz] Oh, yeah. 619 and 619 is 1238, but that's enough.
What a match-up. What a great match-up.
Everyone is a winner in this one. I mean, the fans here in Atlanta loved it.
We got the opportunity to call it.
And I'll tell you what, The champions,
very successful title defense right there for the former champions.
Let's check out the teamwork here, Cole.
[Michael] Yeah. It's all about teamwork.
This is called the Chalupa Roll by Rob Van Dam and Rey Mysterio.
Then the double 619.
[Tazz] This right here, 1238.
I'm pretty sure my math is correct,
you know we had to go to school in Brooklyn.
[Michael] And then Rob Van Dam with a five-star Frog Splash.
[Tazz] Look at that, that's a… That's just poetry in motion right there,
the major league hype by Van Dam, one half the tag team champions.
[Michael] Hey, partner, you said it a long time ago.
-[Tazz] What? -[Michael] You love the chemistry
and the teamwork between Van Dam and Rey Mysterio
and it has paid off over the past few weeks.
[Tazz] No doubt about it.
Great match-up, great way to kick off Armageddon
and great friends, they're traveling compadres
and they're the Tag Team Champions.
[Michael] What a way to start off Armageddon here tonight.
Well, later on tonight,
it's the last chance for the two finalists for the $1,000,000 Tough Enough
to prove themselves to you, the voters, the WWE fans,
tonight, a true boxing match, a Dixie Dogfight.
Mike, there are two pains in life, my right and my left.
Tonight, you're gonna feel both of them.
You've been going around talking to everybody
about this and that about how I don't know anything.
Thing is, you've been talking too much crap, Mike.
And tonight it's going to come down to you and me on a Dixie Dogfight
on the pay-per-view Armageddon, and I'm gonna kick your ass.
The thing is, Mike, man, I can't wait.
This is worth more than a million dollar… dollars to me.
I cannot imagine how much pain,
and I create referee stoppage, so watch out.
And I'll tell you, my estimation, I believe Mike Mizanin,
Puder's opponent tonight, needs a knockout in this Dixie Dogfight
to maybe turn the tables after Puder won that joust
this past Thursday at SmackDown.
No, I disagree, Cole. I mean, you can't say that.
You know, the WWE fans are the voters are here.
I mean, come on. This kid Mizanin's gonna come out
and he's gonna be in a fight here.
Let's give him a chance here.
Come on. I'm telling you, it's gonna be a hell of a fight, a Dixie Dogfight.
[Michael] But wait a minute, what is this?
[Tazz] Who is this? Kurt Angle.
[Michael] Well, we know Angle is involved in that three-on-one
with the Big Show later on tonight.
["Medal" playing]
[Tazz] I guess when you're an Olympic gold medalist,
you come out whenever you want, right?
[Michael] Well, the Olympic gold medalist
who won that gold medal right here in Atlanta…
-[Tazz] I know that. -[Michael] …has those armed, uh,
armed officers with them.
And it looks like one is carrying, I believe, the authentic gold medal.
Oh, you know what happens when the gold medal comes out here.
Kurt usually has a hometown hero in mind, perhaps.
[Tazz] Are you kidding me? It's a Kurt Angle invitational.
I guess, we're gonna have it here. Who knows, I don't know.
I hope so. I love the Kurt Angle invitational,
and I'll tell you what, Kurt Angle, very snazzy singlet on by the way.
I like that little singlet he's got on there.
Pretty sharp.
[crowd chattering]
-[Michael] There it is. -[Kurt] Before Mark Jindrak,
Luther Reigns and I destroy the Big Show,
I thought I'd treat you all to a very special Kurt Angle invitational.
Tonight, I put my gold medal on the line
with a man who's a lot like me.
[crowd exclaiming]
He's admired by millions.
He's the very best at what he does,
and he treats his craft very seriously.
Please welcome, my opponent for tonight…
Santa Claus.
-[Tazz] What? -[Michael] Santa Claus?
-[Tazz] Kris Kringle? -["Jingle Bells" playing]
-[Tazz] No. -[Michael] Wait a minute. What the hell?
The last I checked, Santa Claus is from the North Pole, right?
-[Tazz] Oh, I'll be. -[Michael] So how's Santa
the home… Well, I guess he's a…
I guess Santa is a hometown hero everywhere, right?
[Tazz] Hello? Yeah. Are you kidding me, girl pants? Of course.
Over here, Santa, come here. Give me some of that…
What have you got there? What are you giving out?
-You got candy? What's he got? -[Michael] Christmas presents.
[Tazz] What do you mean? I know it's Christmas presents, you goof.
That's what Santa Claus gives out.
-Gives out presents. -[Michael] Yeah.
[Tazz] If you weren't so naughty and you were a little bit nicer,
you would get presents.
But instead you got a bad attitude, that's why you don't get them.
[Michael] Speaking of bad attitudes, Kurt Angle does not look the least…
like he's enjoying this at all.
[Tazz] Well, maybe Kurt Angle, you know, he probably was training every Christmas,
probably training, as a kid, his whole life, and Santa Claus is happy
and happy and bursting with joy right now as he's moving--
[Michael] Well, Santa is throwing candy at everybody.
-[Tazz] Hey, what's up Santa? -[Michael] Hey, Santa?
[Tazz] What's up, nitz? Ho-ho-ho, you hefta.
[Michael] How can you call Santa Claus a nitz?
[Tazz laughs]
Are you kidding? Can't even get in the ring, he's so rotund.
Look at him. I love him though.
I like Santa. Are you kidding me?
[Michael] I still can't believe we're gonna have
a Kurt Angle invitational with Santa Claus.
Listen to the Santa chants.
-[Tazz] What a nice handshake. -[Michael] Santa looks like Tony Chimel.
Nice to finally meet you, Mr. Kringle.
Now, I'm sure you want to get right down to business tonight…
so that you can get back to the North Pole with Tazz and the other elves.
[Michael laughing]
[Kurt] Well, I'm just kidding. Come on, Tazz, we're friends.
Okay.
[Kurt] We can joke around like that, okay?
-[Tazz] We are? -That's my friend.
I like Tazz.
But I don't like you.
You see, I work my ass off every single night
so I can come home and see my little daughter.
But my daughter never wants to talk about me.
All she wants to do is write to Santa Claus.
You give real heroes a bad name…
which is why I'm having my daughter watch pay-per-view tonight.
Hi, sweetheart.
And I told her about this match.
And I told her that I'm gonna make fat, pathetic Santa tap out.
-[Michael] What? -Now, ring the bell.
[Michael] Give me a break.
-What is wrong with Kurt Angle? -[bell rings]
[Michael] Can somebody explain that to me?
[Tazz] Well, I guess I'll try because I'm the only one here with you.
-[Michael] Well, which elf are you, Dopey? -[Tazz] Well, this is surreal.
-I mean, this is-- -[Michael] It is.
[Tazz] Wait a minute, what did you call me, Dopey? Hold on.
[Michael] Santa is wrestling Kurt Angle in Armageddon.
-I mean, look at this. -[Tazz] Ooh.
[Michael] Come on, now.
[Tazz] Well, wait, whoa, that was a nice go-behind.
-And now-- -[Michael] Not the Angle slam…
-[Tazz] Whoa. -[Michael ] …to Santa.
[Tazz] Well, this isn't right. Come on.
[Michael] It's not right at all. This is embarrassing.
-[Tazz] Ooh, ankle lock. -[Michael] Just tap out, Santa.
-[Tazz] That's it. -[bell rings]
[Michael] Oh, now break the damn hold.
What is Kurt Angle's daughter thinking watching this match?
[announcer] And here's your winner, Kurt Angle.
[Michael] I hope Kurt Angle is proud. I hope you're proud, Kurt.
[Tazz] Oh, Cole, he looks pretty proud and--
[Michael] Talk about a Scrooge.
[Tazz] Well, just when you thought you'd seen it all,
Kurt Angle shows you, you haven't.
-[Michael] Kurt Angle maybe-- -[Tazz] Well, there it is.
There's the authentic gold medal that Kurt Angle won right here in Atlanta.
[Michael] When Kurt Angle won that gold medal
-here in Atlanta, he was a hero. -[Tazz] Yeah.
Tonight, he's nothing but a disgrace at Atlanta in Armageddon.
[Tazz] You know, I don't know.
I mean, you know, I guess, man, you're right.
You don't want to be hooking Santa and snapping his ankle, but Kurt did it.
[Michael] Kurt Angle earned no respect whatsoever from this audience.
[Tazz] Did I just see Kurt Angle tie up--
A collar-and-elbow tie up with Santa Claus?
[Michael] Kurt Angle should watch It's a Wonderful Life.
-It's tremendous. -[Tazz] Well, it's not a wonderful life
for that Kris Kringle, I'll tell you that right now.
-He's tapping out. -[bell rings]
[Michael] Well, nonetheless, coming up next ladies and gentlemen,
the final two Tough Enough contestants in the Dixie Dogfight.
You know what?
This past week I've been getting ready for this Dixie Dogfight.
This past week, I've been hearing people say,
"Mike, this guy's bigger than you."
"He's boxed before."
"He's an ultimate fighter."
"You're an underdog."
An underdog?
You know, I've never been an underdog.
But tonight at Armageddon, my first pay-per-view,
I'm not going to look stupid.
'Cause the fact of the matter is, the underdog is going to have some bite.
Eat it, Puder.
[Michael] I guess I should call you "The Fight Doctor."
'Cause we're getting set for a Dixie Dogfight,
Mizanin versus Puder, a lot on the line in this one.
[Tazz] No doubt. Three one-minute rounds and this is the last chance
for these two young men to impress the voters, the WWE fans.
[Michael] It has been a long, hard two months
for all the finalists in the $1,000,000 Tough Enough.
[Al Snow] Welcome, everybody, to the $1,000,000 Tough Enough.
[man 1] You've got one chance.
[Al Snow] The opportunity of a lifetime.
You want to be a wrestler?
-[screaming] -[man 2] Run!
[man 3] This is like a dream come true.
-[man 4] I got what it takes.
[man 5] This is the only thing I was put on the earth to do.
[Al Snow] Your seven finalists. Chris Nawrocki.
[Nawrocki] The Rock Captain ready to unload.
[Al Snow] Mike Mizanin.
This is the true story of when The Miz
came to $1,000,000 Tough Enough.
[Al Snow] Ryan Reeves.
[Ryan] My name is Silverback. I am the real Vanilla Gorilla.
[Al Snow] Daniel Rodimer.
[interviewer] You're a little cocky, aren't you, Dan?
-[Daniel Rodimer] No. Just confident. -[Al Snow] Nick Mitchell.
[Nick] You want big time? You got big time.
[Al Snow] Justice Smith.
If you step in this ring, son, you better bring it.
[Al Snow] Daniel Puder.
[Puder] I got three words for you and that's snap, crackle, and pop.
[Al Snow] There you have it, ladies and gentlemen.
Who do you think is tough enough?
It's time for the Tough Enough competition.
[Big Show] I'm gonna body slam each and every one of you
to find out how tough you are.
-[Tazz] Oh, he just got lit. -[Michael] Wow.
[Al Snow] The man who does the most squat thrusts tonight,
you're gonna have your very first match against none other than your Olympic hero.
[Michael] And this one is over.
[Torrie] Are you boys ready for the Torrie Wilson Sex Test?
-[Tazz] No. -[Michael] Oh, my God.
[Al Snow] You're gonna go head-to-head with each other.
An arm-wrestling competition.
[Michael] And look at Daniel Puder.
-Puder's gonna do it. -[Tazz] Oh.
[Al Snow] Who's tough enough to be in touch with your feminine side?
You, the audience, will determine who is tough enough
to win the $1,000,000 contract.
I'm sorry. You've been cut.
[Nick] It's upsetting but it happens
and it's my birthday today so happy birthday to me.
[Nawrocki] It's disappointing and it's upsetting,
but you can't go out there right now 'cause I'm out.
[Daniel Rodimer] Walking out into the crowd of 20,000 people,
that was the ultimate rush.
I'm gonna miss that the most.
[Ryan] I can tell you without a doubt,
I probably want this more than any single one of them.
I've dreamed of doing this my whole life
and I don't think any one of them could say the same thing.
[Justice] This has just been a high honor just to be here.
Once you take a walk down this road
and you get in the ring,
you know it's for real.
[Al Snow] Congratulations, gentlemen, on being the two finalists
in the $1,000,000 Tough Enough challenge.
At Armageddon, you two will square off in the Dixie Dogfight.
[Tazz] They put on the gloves of a regulation boxing match.
We're gonna see it with four hands if they bang somebody up.
I will knock anybody out that gets in that ring with me.
[Miz] Come Armageddon, I'm not going to be good,
I'm not going to be bad, I'm going to be pure and solid Miz.
[Al Snow] It's you or the audience's final chance
to see who's really tough enough…
[Miz] I will take them down and beat them down.
[Al Snow] …to win the $1,000,000 Tough Enough Challenge.
[Puder] Hoo-rah, baby, step into my reality.
[Michael] We are seconds away from perhaps determining
who may win the $1,000,000 WWE contract.
Thank you for inviting us into your homes tonight,
ladies and gentlemen, for WWE Armageddon from Atlanta.
And getting set for the Dixie Dogfight joining us at ringside, Al Snow,
of course, the Tough Enough trainer for the past couple of months
and I'm gonna put you right on the spot, Al,
who's gonna win the Dixie Dogfight, Mizanin or Puder?
Well, thank you guys very much for having me out here.
I'd the say the strong money has got to be on Puder.
But Tazz, I'll tell you, never underestimate anybody,
-never underestimate The Miz. -[Tazz] That's true. That's true.
[Michael] Well, how about not underestimating
the general manager, Theodore Long?
["MacMilitant" playing]
[singer] ♪ And striking I'm inviting all you to the storm… ♪
[announcer] Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, the general manager
-of SmackDown, Theodore Long. -[Michael] You want to mention that--
[Tazz] I'll tell you, Cole, I got to point out,
I like the way this man struts, though. He's holla, holla, baby.
[Michael] You have to mention that tonight the Dixie Dogfight
sanctioned by the Georgia Athletic Commission,
Thomas Mischou, the executive director here tonight.
The referee for this match-up will be George Chip.
He's refereed for 15 years.
He's refereed 15 championship matches, including a heavyweight title match
-between Ruiz… -[Tazz] Whoa, what a--
[Michael] …and Jerry Ballard.
-Check out the general manager. -[Tazz] Holla, holla, holla baby.
-Go, playa, go. -[Al Snow] I hear ya, my man.
[Michael] It's always fun with Theodore Long in the house
here from this great city.
If you're having a good time in the dirty south,
everybody, holla, holla, holla.
[crowd] Holla, holla, holla.
-[Tazz] Holla. -[Michael] Yeah, holla, baby.
[Al Snow] I couldn't hear you holla, Tazz.
You know, as general manager of SmackDown
it is my responsibility
to bring you the best in must-see events.
And tonight, I am proud to say
that this is one of those events…
the next chapter in the $1,000,000 Tough Enough.
And you know what's going to happen here tonight?
These two gentlemen will let this audience know
who is tough enough right here tonight.
Now, when we started this contest, we had thousands of entrants
but now, we are down to just two finalists.
And these two men will let you know
who is tough enough in a Dixie Dogfight.
Now, this match
will be three one-minute rounds of boxing.
It is supervised by the executive director of the Georgia Boxing Commission,
Thomas Mischou, ladies and gentlemen.
Your referee tonight will be George Chip.
And now, ladies and gentlemen…
I will introduce to you first, from Cleveland, Ohio
at 210 pounds, Mike Mizanin. Mike Mizanin.
[Michael] Al, tell us all about Mike Mizanin,
what do you like in this kid?
[Al Snow] Mike Mizanin's got heart. Mike Mizanin has drive and passion.
He's been on the independent scene for two and a half years, Michael Cole.
He wants this bad.
[Tazz] He's got a wrestling background you say, but what's he like in the gym?
You know, Al, you're training with these guys during the week
because we don't really see a lot on Tough Enough.
What's Mike like in the gym? What's he like in the dojo?
[Al Snow] Tazz, the most important aspect of anything
is that he loves this business.
Tonight, when he steps in that ring,
he's gonna have to keep Puder at a distance.
Puder's gonna wanna close in on him and stay tight.
[Teddy] From Cupertino, California,
at 230 pounds, Daniel Puder. Daniel Puder.
[Michael] Let's talk about the rules, Tazz, in this Dixie Dogfight
as Theodore Long mentioned,
three one-minute rounds to start things off.
[Tazz] Yeah, absolutely. You can see right there,
there's no standing eight count, no three knockdown rule,
boxer cannot be saved by the bell in any round which could be crucial here.
And no mandatory eight count for the knockdown.
[Michael] Al, tell us about Daniel Puder.
[Al Snow] I believe that Puder's strategy is that he's gonna cut off the ring,
he's gonna try and get in close with Mike Mizanin, stay in tight,
because that's the way the Puder's used to fighting. He's up tight and close.
[Michael] Daniel Puder's corner man is Barry Richardson,
Mike Mizanin's corner man's Xavier Biggs, both veterans of the boxing wars.
You see headgear and 16-ounce gloves will be used in this dogfight.
[Tazz] Well, both athletes look to be in pretty good condition,
look to be actually in excellent condition
with very little body fat on each of their bodies.
As you can see that right now and I'll tell you,
they've got to have a lot of nerves going through them, Al.
[Al Snow] Oh, I'll tell you, Tazz, I'm nervous for them
and I'm not even in the ring.
I know how important this match is tonight
and I know how important it is to the two of these competitors
because a million dollars is riding on the line.
[Tazz] Well, you know, this isn't wrestling.
This is boxing, right?
This is to impress the judges and the fans.
And, you know, I-- They're gonna be wrestling--
One of them is gonna be wrestling, whoever wins this contest.
We've been over all the rules in the dressing room, stick to them.
Protect yourselves at all times and obey my commands.
Touch gloves, go to your corner, and come out fighting.
[Michael] That's referee George Chip, 15-year veteran mentioned earlier,
he's refereed big fights, including Ruiz versus Ballard
for a heavyweight championship, so George Chip knows what he's doing.
-And here we go with the Dixie Dogfight. -[bell rings]
[Tazz] Here we go. Wow, went right at him, right at him. You see--
[Michael] Look at Mizanin taking it to Puder.
-Mike Mizanin taking it to Daniel Puder… -[Tazz] Whoa, whoa.
-[Michael] …and Puder battling as well. -[Tazz] Whoa! Whoa!
[Michael] And Puder caught him with a left hand
as the referee calls for a break.
[Tazz] I'll tell you what, that Mizanin, The Miz right there,
-Al, he's not backing down. -[Al Snow] No. He's got a ton of heart.
He loves this business. He wants to win this thing so badly.
-He can taste it. -[Michael] Oh.
[Al Snow] It's not just the million dollars, Tazz.
It's an opportunity of a lifetime to be a part of the WWE.
-[Tazz] He's going now. -[Michael] Big right hand by Daniel Puder.
I'm thinking Miz might be going for a little trip.
-[Tazz] Well, oh, look at this. -[Michael] He's fighting back.
-Miz with a left hand. -[Tazz] Oh.
[Michael] Puder, I believe that may have been a slip, I'm not sure.
[Tazz] It was a slip, I think, but I'm not the ref.
[Michael] The referee is calling it a slip.
Twenty seconds left in the first round. Mizanin ducked underneath the right.
[Tazz] Well, see, Puder is trying to measure him up.
[Al Snow] And you can see Puder is doing exactly what he said he would do.
He's getting in tight, staying in close with Mizanin.
[Tazz] Well, you got to watch it they don't punch themselves out.
They don't have a boxing background.
Remember, from back in the day with Brawl for All,
we saw so many WWE superstars punch themselves out
-but they prove to be… -[bell rings]
[Tazz] …in pretty good condition. There's the bell.
[Michael] Well, both finalists survived the first round.
We now have a one-minute rest period.
Al, let's start with you, who do you think won the first round?
[Al Snow] I'd have to give it to Miz. He was aggressive.
Even though Puder pulled off a couple of really good shots,
Miz fought back and really had some shots that shook Puder.
[Michael] What about you, Tazz, who do you think won?
[Tazz] Well, I think Miz might have landed some better punches
-but I think Puder threw more. -[Al Snow] Ooh!
[Tazz] Well, that's… actually, that's a very impressive…
that's a very impressive punch.
Let's see this. This, I think, was a slip here on Puder.
-Let's see. There it is. Yeah. -[Al Snow] That's when Puder stepped
through the rope and went underneath and slid off the ring.
[Tazz] And he could have pulled the hamstring and tore his knee up.
[Michael] And again if there are no knockouts in this…
You gather yourself right now.
You can shoot one or two right down the middle.
As soon as he steps away, you follow.
[Al Snow] You can see the killer look in Puder's eyes.
I don't know if Miz has that killer instinct or not.
[Tazz] You know, if this is how-- If Miz keeps moving,
Puder can't measure up and tee off on him and that's what I'm--
[Michael] And again, if there are no knockouts, gentlemen, in this match-up,
it will be up to the great fans here at the Gwinnett Center to decide
-who wins the Dixie Dogfight. -[bell rings]
[Al Snow] Apropos, since the audience has decided
who wins Tough Enough all the way through.
[Tazz] Good point, good point.
I'll tell you what, you can see Mizanin's got some ring experience.
-[Al Snow] Yeah. -[Michael] And you heard Barry Richardson
-at Puder's corner… -[Tazz] Whoa, whoa, whoa.
[Michael] …telling him to slow down a little bit
as Puder now delivers the right to his shoulder-- All right.
[Al Snow] Oh, that's a rabid punch by Puder.
[Michael] That would cost points in a regular boxing match.
[Tazz] Well, you could be disqualified for that right there.
[Al Snow] And Miz has got to… got to lay back.
He's a little overly aggressive.
-[Tazz] Absolutely. -[Al Snow] And he's gonna blow himself up.
He's gonna… he's gonna punch himself out, going in head first which isn't smart.
[Michael] And that's what Barry Richardson told Puder in the corner
to slow himself down so he doesn't punch himself out.
[Tazz] Go in head first, the guy'll catch you with an uppercut.
[Al Snow] Looks like Puder is trying to make Miz fight his fight.
[Tazz] I think you're right on that. I definitely think you're right on that.
[Al Snow] Miz has got to try and try and back off,
keep the distance away from Puder,
but it looks like Miz is starting to get tired.
[Tazz] I think Miz is hurt. He caught that right hand
in the back of the head by Puder and I think you're right.
I think, uh, spaghetti-leg Miz right now, he's hurting.
[Michael] And Puder-- Again, nobody can be saved by the bell.
-Puder with the right hand teeing off now… -[bell rings]
[Michael] …on Mizanin as the second round ends.
[Tazz] And you could see both these men do not have boxing backgrounds,
therefore, it's such a, you know,
it's tough for them to keep rolling, you know.
[Michael] Do you guys agree with me, it looked like Puder won that round
as we take another look though at what was a rabid punch
-from behind by Daniel Puder? -[Al Snow] Ooh, except for this.
[Tazz] Let's see the look on Mizanin.
[Al Snow] Yup. Puder should have been disqualified
-in a normal boxing match but… -[Tazz] Look at that face.
[Al Snow] …just throwing that rabid punch right to the back to the head but…
[Tazz] Well, you see, Miz looks exhausted here.
You can see here, the kid came out in the first round.
I shouldn't call him a kid because he's a young athlete.
He came out in that first round blazing.
Even-- I still think it's even, in my opinion.
[Al Snow] Yeah. Well, you know, this is such an important match.
Both of them are looking for the knockout.
[Richardson] All right? You're looking good, baby.
[Al Snow] Somebody is going down, I promise, in this last round.
One of them is going down.
[Tazz] Well, they're both trying to get their heads together.
This is… this is the third and final round here.
Let's see who's gonna come out.
-I got a feeling -[whistle blowing]
[Tazz] Miz is gonna come out swinging
and I got a feeling, my opinion, Puder is gonna catch him with a shot.
[Michael] Well, both of these young men look exhausted.
Mizanin perhaps more worse for the wear.
[Tazz] And doesn't mean they're in bad shape,
they're in great shape, it's just a different type of training.
Both have no boxing training. You should know, Al.
You've trained them to be wrestlers.
[Al Snow] They've been training to be wrestlers for the last eight weeks
and now all of a sudden they're boxing.
[Michael] Third and final round, Mizanin trying to take it to Puder,
one shot could end this thing.
[Al Snow] Mizanin looks desperate, he's throwing wild
and Puder is more controlled and focused.
He's trying to make Mizanin fight Puder's fight.
[Tazz] Oh, that sums it up in a sound bite.
You're right, Al, and Mizanin is just… he just--
Oh, there goes Mizanin, now he's throwing hands.
[Al Snow] Yeah. Tied him up when he needs to tie him up
and then he's going for broke every time.
-He is doing his best to knock Puder out. -[Tazz] Hey, I got-- I'll tell you what,
Al, not the Rumble for an underdog,
this kid's doing well, this Miz-- Mizanin's doing very good.
[Al Snow] He's showing his heart and showing his desire,
showing how much he wants to be a WWE superstar.
[Tazz] Oh, he wasn't supposed to win this thing
but he's looking pretty sharp, man.
[Michael] Puder with a big right trying to battle into this thing.
-Mizanin checking the clock, he's hoping-- -[Al Snow] Yup. Put your hands up.
[Michael] Ten seconds left in this thing.
[Tazz] He better keep his hands up or Puder-- oh.
[Michael] Oh, nice right hand by Puder caught Mizanin.
[Al Snow] Puder caught him that time.
-Oh, Miz caught him with a left. -[Tazz] Ooh! He did, he did.
[Michael] But Mizanin survived, there is no knockout.
It's gonna be up to the great fans to decide this match.
[Tazz] Hell of a match though, man, hell of a boxing fight.
[Michael] I tell you, impressive, very impressive.
[Teddy] Ladies and gentlemen…
as you can see, this match has went the distance.
Hey, hold on a minute, playas,
because right now, the decision
is going to be left up to you, ladies and gentlemen.
[crowd cheering]
[Teddy] Will it be…
will it be Mike Mizanin?
[crowd cheering]
[Teddy] Come close to me.
[Tazz] He went the distance.
[Teddy] Ladies and gentlemen,
will it be Daniel Puder?
[crowd cheering]
-[Michael] Wow. -[Tazz] I don't know, but I don't know.
-[Michael] It sounds like a tie. -[Tazz] I don't know.
[Michael] Oh, this is gonna…
Well, it seems to me that we have a winner here tonight,
Daniel Puder.
-[Michael] But that does not mean… -[Tazz] No.
[Michael] …Daniel Puder wins Tough Enough.
It's still up to the fans.
You have until midnight Monday to vote at WWE.com
and next Thursday night, Nashville, Tennessee,
we will crown the $1,000,000 Tough Enough winner.
And look at Mizanin, dejected.
[Tazz] Well, Mizanin should be proud.
He gave it everything, Mizanin.
[Al Snow] Michael, Michael, you fought a tough fight
but you lost the battle.
You lost the fight there.
Would you have done anything differently,
would you have fought a different fight with Daniel Puder?
Yeah. I kind of watched out for his right… his overhand right.
It's pretty brutal, but I stood up to it,
took it a couple times, still not phased.
It's all good.
Fans vote yet, tomorrow, they-- Wait, Thursday.
-Thursday, baby. -You made--
you made yourself proud, Michael.
Okay. Daniel, you did good tonight, you won the fight.
According to the audience here in Atlanta, Georgia, you won.
Okay. Let's take a look here up on the TitanTron.
Take a look at the right hand that Michael was talking about.
-Boom. -[Tazz] Wow.
[Al Snow] You caught him.
So do you think that had an effect on the fight?
Did you fight your fight?
My fight is ultimate fighting. It's everything. It's a fight.
This is boxing. Three rounds. Gloves.
No. My fight is ultimate fighting.
And I was here to break arms, snap, crackle, and pop.
Okay. Congratulations. Again, your winner is Daniel Puder.
And remember, you, the audience, still have one more chance
to decide who is tough enough.
Will it be Mike Mizanin…
[energetic rock music playing]
[Al Snow] …or will it be Daniel Puder?
[Tazz] Well, like you said… like you said earlier, Cole,
it doesn't mean that Puder wins this thing.
Puder might be a little too arrogant.
[Al Snow] …exclusively on WWE.com.
[Michael] Well, this Thursday in Nashville, Tennessee, on SmackDown,
we will find out who you, the fans, decide is tough enough.
-Exactly what I'm talking about. -You gotta be ready for it.
-Are you ready for tonight? -Man, you know I'm ready, man.
-Órale, homes. -Ever since I got screwed by JBL,
-in Survivor Series. -You know… you know, Booker,
I can feel your pain, ese. I've been there, ese.
-Yeah. -I want JBL just as much as you do, homes.
I hope so.
But you know what the ironic thing is here, Book?
What's that?
You see, you don't have to actually beat JBL to get back at him, homes.
-I know that, man. -I mean, for instance,
I can very easily pin you and become the WWE Champion.
I mean, it could happen.
[laughing hysterically]
What's so funny?
You've got to be kidding me, right?
Oh, no. I'm very serious.
[laughing] You funny, dawg.
Let me tell you something else that's funny, man.
Man, I can hit you with that scissor kick so quick,
put you out, walk away with the title just like that.
[laughing] Yeah, homes, yeah, that is funny.
-I know what you're talking about. -Yeah, that's right.
-[laughing] -Nah. You--
You know, man, we're forgetting something.
-What? -It's not about JBL tonight, man.
-We got a bigger obstacle. -What's that, man?
Have you forgot?
El hombre muerto.
Who?
Undertaker.
[crowd cheering]
Yeah, yeah. We can't overlook that.
Look, man, I ain't worried about The Undertaker, man.
I will take him down too.
You understand what I'm saying?
You know, man, that's exactly what I was counting on.
Well, your confidence.
-Yeah. -I actually got a plan.
-What's the plan? -What?
You take out Undertaker, I'll take out JBL.
I've done it before, homes. I know I can do it. You know,
-and that will better our chances. -I'll take The Undertaker out.
I'll tell you what, man,
-I've got a plan. -What?
Why don't we team up together, you and I, as a union…
-That's what I've been talking about. -…we take out The Undertaker,
then we take out JBL. And then you know what, ese?
We can find out who the better man is, mano a mano.
You know what, soon as we take out Undertaker first…
[crowd chattering]
See what you did.
-You pissed him off, man. -What--
-He heard every word your big mouth said. -Well, keep your voice down.
[upbeat music playing]
[bell rings]
[announcer] The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall.
Making their way to the ring, from Columbus, Ohio
at a combined weight of 495 pounds,
Doug and Danny, The Basham Brothers.
[Michael] The Bashams, the Co-Secretaries of Defense for JBL,
the WWE Champion, but get a good look
because it's gonna be the only time you're gonna see The Bashams here tonight
because the entire Cabinet of JBL has been banned from ringside.
[Tazz] You got to rub it in, right? You got to rub it in.
[Michael] Hey, even playing field.
[Tazz] Come on, now. That's not right. But here are The Bashams
in front now, and of course you neglected to say,
these men are former Tag Team Champions,
the Co-Secretaries of Defense I like the best.
[rock music playing]
[announcer] And at a combined weight of 483 pounds,
Charlie Haas and Hardcore Holly.
[Michael] This is an unscheduled match-up here tonight.
I guess we can call it, Tazz, a bonus match here at Armageddon,
and you see Hardcore Holly teaming with Charlie Haas
and well, Charlie Haas is focused beyond this match-up.
Remember, later on he's got to be the special guest referee
for his fiancée Miss Jackie's match against Dawn Marie.
[Tazz] Whoa, whoa, whoa. This thing's breaking down, man.
[Michael] Now, Charlie Haas, I guess he's in a mood tonight.
[Tazz] Wow. What is the deal here?
[Michael] I'll tell you what the deal is, The Bashams continue
to slap away at Haas and Hardcore Holly.
The deal is this, Charlie Haas, in my estimation, is emotionally charged.
He is so-- His head is so messed up
over the fact that he's got to referee this match
between his fiancée and Dawn Marie here tonight,
he's finding it hard to control his emotions.
[Tazz] Well, I don't know about Danny Basham smacking him,
but a collar-and-elbow tie-up right now by Hardcore Holly and Doug Basham.
-Let's see here. -[Michael] Doug
and Danny Basham, the Co-Secretaries of Defense
by the champion John "Bradshaw" Layfield,
JBL hiring the former tag team champions to watch his back, so to speak.
[Tazz] I'd like to point out, that was a great move by Bradshaw,
JBL, to hire these two men, The Basham Brothers,
to be the Co-Secretaries of Defense.
You know, JBL is very, very popular.
He's, you know, he got to-- He got to need somebody to watch his back.
[Michael] Oh, wow, but the other man in the ring,
Hardcore Holly perhaps pound for pound the toughest athlete
-in the SmackDown locker room. -[Tazz] I don't disagree with you on that.
[Michael] Oh, no. Remember a couple of weeks ago,
he was the object of affection for the Tough Enough finalists
as they were getting in touch with their feminine side.
-[Tazz] Oh, boy. -[Michael] Hardcore Holly,
Oh, and a schoolboy almost had Doug Basham.
Oh, what a chop by Holly and another one to Danny.
[Tazz] And I'll tell you what, Cole,
I mean, another great move by JBL's hiring, the lovely Amy Weber,
the fashion-- the image consultant, I should say, of JBL
and, oh, right, he's got… he's got the Chief of Staff Orlando Jordan.
[Michael] But don't forget, none of them can get involved in the match tonight
because they've been banned from ringside,
and if they get involved, they'll be stripped of the title.
[Tazz] Listen, who said anything about that?
I'm just pointing out JBL's Cabinet, that's all.
[Michael] And look at this,
Hardcore Holly whipped into the other corner,
big boot to the face of Danny Basham.
[Tazz] And that-- Whoa, nice duck right there
-and now for maybe a… -[Michael] Oh, my.
[Tazz] …back suplex by the Hardcore one.
[Michael] Here's the cover, hook to the leg
and a kickout by Hardcore Holly, makes the tag to Charlie Haas
and here comes the emotionally charged Charlie Haas
-into this match-up. -[Tazz] Well, Danny Basham
and Charlie Haas before the bell even rang,
got in a little fisticuff, so I don't know
if there's some bad blood that we don't know about
behind the scenes today, you never know.
[Michael] How do you think Charlie Haas is gonna call that match-up as referee
between Jackie and Dawn Marie later on?
Oh, nice fireman's carry takedown…
-[Tazz] He's gonna-- -[Michael] …into the cover.
[Tazz] I'll tell you how he's gonna call, he's gonna favor his fiancée.
He more or less said that this past Thursday on SmackDown.
[Michael] Oh, can you blame him?
[Tazz] No. She's a looker, that Ms. Jackie.
[Michael] Well, they're engaged to be married, I would hope so.
[Tazz] Well, enough about this. If something's going on, I mean, come on.
If he's finagling around with Dawn Marie, that's not a bad thing.
[Michael] Come on, he's not finagling around with Dawn Marie.
It's rumors and innuendos that have been started by Dawn Marie. Enough.
[Tazz] Well, yeah.
Well, just 'cause they're rumors, don't mean they're true.
[Michael] Oh, look at that, nice arm drag, deep arm drag by Charlie Haas
and another one from the former All-American
from Seton Hall University, former tag team champion.
[Tazz] Well, and that's the wrestling instincts of Haas
gets two nice arm drags, boom, gets an arm bar on.
Very well-placed arm bar, I might add.
[Michael] And Charlie Haas continues.
[Tazz] Oh, he's got his weight over the man.
Well, he had his weight over the man and trying to get the leverage advantage.
Nice forearm by Doug Basham.
[Michael] Doug Basham and Danny, the rough and tough Basham Brothers,
and there's a kick to the spine of Charlie Haas.
[Tazz] No team out here has able to form a strategy yet, Cole,
but, you know, speaking of strategy, how about Booker T and Eddie Guerrero.
They were trying to form some kind of strategy
and then, well… dum, da-dum, dum.
Look who showed up, The Deadman.
[Michael] Can you imagine saying stuff about The Undertaker
and you turn around and he's there?
[Tazz] Well, I'd say it's pretty good strategy.
Well, if they could take Undertaker out…
-[Michael] Of course. -[Tazz] …and their friends, and then JBL,
I mean, that would be a great strategy, and then they got to deal with each other.
I mean, that might happen, Cole.
[Michael] But that's a big "if," Tazz.
[Tazz] Well, if my aunt had you-know-what,
she'd be my uncle, but that's another story.
[Michael] Oh, look at Charlie Haas, and I believe Danny Basham tripped him up
as Haas went to the second rope.
[Tazz] Well, he went around the back of his head,
he being Charlie Haas, and now Doug Basham, a second knee driven
and a third into the throat and upper pectoral region of Haas.
[Michael] And you saw Haas land on the back of his head.
Remember, just three nights ago on SmackDown, Charlie Haas was knocked out
when Jesús used that steel chain
and hit Charlie Haas right in the back of the head.
And The Bashams now targeting the head of Charlie Haas.
[Tazz] And they're all over Haas. Maybe-- Uh-oh.
[Michael] Here's the cover, hook to the leg and a kickout.
[Tazz] I'll tell you, I'm impressed with Doug and Danny Basham.
I'm impressed with the Co-Secretaries of Defense.
No wonder why JBL picked these men.
[Michael] I've always been impressed with The Bashams.
However, I really didn't like their choice of joining the WWE Champion,
but another argument for another time.
-Oh, what an elbow. -[Tazz] Yeah. Why would you--
[Michael] Here's the cover, shoulders down and a kickout.
[Tazz] Why would you not like their choice?
They've only aligned themselves with the WWE Champion,
the most successful man on Wall Street, and a very wealthy man.
Why would you not wanna walk that road?
Why would you not wanna be next to that type of man, Cole, why?
What do you do? You sit next to me.
[Michael] Because I believe, in about an hour or so,
JBL won't be the WWE Champion.
[Tazz] Well, that could be. You might be right,
but that's, you know-- Give JBL at least some kind of a chance.
[Michael] Doug Basham continues the pressure on Charlie Haas
and you hear Hardcore Holly in the corner trying to will Charlie Haas on.
[Tazz] He's got that arm locked behind the head of Haas.
Nice arm drag out of it. It's the only way out of that hold.
[Michael] Oh, and what a clothesline.
The physicality of The Bashams.
-[Tazz] Clothesline, Cole. -[Michael] Here's the cover…
-[Tazz] Whoa. -[Michael] …hook to the leg,
shoulders down again and a kickout.
[Tazz] How many cups of coffee do you drink before a show?
-I'm just curious. -[Michael] A lot today.
-[Tazz] Okay. Just making sure. -[Michael] And look at--
-Danny Basham-- -[Tazz] Explain a lot--
-Hold on. Whoa! -[Michael] Charlie Haas,
a little familiar there, T-bone.
[Tazz] Yeah. I did that a couple of times. Explain a lot, how many cups is a lot?
-[Michael] Seven or eight. -[Tazz] Jesus.
[Michael] And I drink it black, by the way.
As Charlie Haas desperately tries to make it to the corner
to make a tag to Hardcore Holly, the tag was made.
Doug Basham came off the tag as well,
Danny knocked down and Hardcore Holly is rolling here.
[Tazz] When you get drilled by a Holly clothesline,
it's not fun, I'm telling you.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
[Michael] Up over the top on a big back body drop
-and a standing dropkick. -[Tazz] Oh, my God,
what a dropkick indeed, my man.
[Michael] Hardcore Holly out to the apron.
[Tazz] Where is he going now?
-[Michael] Going up to the top rope. -[Tazz] Thank you.
[Michael] Hardcore Holly from the top rope.
[Tazz] Here we go, here we go.
[Michael] And taken out. Clothesline from the top rope.
Here's the cover. Oh, went for the cover but Danny Basham got in his way.
[Tazz] Great timing right there by Holly, spotted the other Basham
and now Doug Basham getting shut off.
[Michael] Oh, and Hardcore telegraphed that.
Charlie Haas knocked off the apron.
What a slam. Here's the hook of the leg,
shoulders down, rolling the right shoulder up.
[Tazz] Yeah. Very nice scoop powerslam by Hardcore Holly.
Whoa, whoa, wait a minute. What the hell?
[Michael] What is Dawn Marie doing? Dawn coming to the aid of-- Well, she's…
[crowd chattering]
[Tazz] Here's Jackie, what the hell?
[Michael] Well, they got a match later on.
-What are you doing? -[Dawn and Jackie yelling indistinctly]
Charlie is trying to keep peace here.
-What are you doing? -Charlie, focus!
Hardcore yelling, "Charlie, come on."
[Tazz] Did The Bashams just switch off though, Cole?
[Michael] They may well have. I was watching the girls, like you.
Look at this, well, Hardcore rolled over in a small package, shoulders down.
-Did he have him? He got him. -[bell rings]
[Tazz] Wait, what the--
[announcer] Here are your winners, The Basham Brothers.
[Michael] Hardcore Holly was distracted by Charlie's problem with the girls
and The Bashams capitalized,
-and I believe The Bashams switched. -What you doing paying attention to them?
Hey, it's my ass, don't worry about those girls.
Yeah, pal. That's your problem.
-Sorry. -No. Sorry is not gonna get it.
-Sorry. -That's your problem.
You need to quit worrying about those girls.
I'll take care of it, I know.
Gotta take care of what's going on in here.
-Okay. Sorry. -Use your head.
[crowd chattering]
[Michael] Hardcore Holly is hot.
[Tazz] Can't blame him, cost them the match.
I don't blame Holly one a bit, man.
I really don't. There's a match going on and--
Hey. Use your head, just think about what's going on.
-Sorry, I'll take care of it. -Don't pay attention to them.
[Michael] There's a lot on Charlie Haas' mind
-and it cost him in this one. -It's what's in here that matters.
[Michael] Coming up next. John Cena, the return of the United States Champion
with a huge score to settle with Jesús.
[Tazz] Again, I said it on Sunday Night Heat,
I said it last week, I said it the week before that,
what is the health of the Doctor of Thugonomics?
How's the kidney of Cena?
[Michael] Well, this rivalry dates back to early October
when Carlito met Cena
for the United States Championship in Boston.
United States Championship on the line,
the look in the eyes of John Cena, the intensity
-after being publicly humiliated. -[Tazz] Oh, yeah. He's hot.
-[Michael] Wait a minute. -[Tazz] Whoa.
[Michael] Carlito's got John Cena's--
he got that steel chain Cena carries around.
Carlito stole the title.
And now the indignity, walking out of the arena
with Cena's signature chain.
[narrator] Last week after SmackDown,
John Cena was attacked in an after-hours club
and he is basically fighting now to save his own kidney,
puncture wounds in the kidney,
doctors are doing all they can to try to save that kidney,
but of course John Cena not here tonight, we're not sure when he will return.
Are you sure you wasn't in that nightclub the night John Cena was attacked?
I told you, I don't hang out with thugs.
The authorities have let me know that the night John Cena was stabbed,
your bodyguard Jesús was right there in the same club.
[Cena] The champ is back.
[crowd cheering]
[Cena] And tonight, your boy is gonna win back
the United States title.
[crowd cheering]
I know you've been promoting this United States title match all week.
-True that. -But as you know,
I suffered an injury at Survivor Series thanks to that thug John Cena.
And now I think that we need to do--
we need to postpone this match about four to six weeks.
I'm not feeling that. The match is still on.
[Cena] Carlito, you embarrassed me once.
Now it's time for the tides to switch
because everybody here knows payback is a bitch.
[Michael] John Cena was stabbed in the kidney back on October 7th
and Carlito and Jesús were in the nightclub that night.
I don't think John Cena gives a damn about an injured shoulder.
-[Tazz] Watch out. -[Michael] Now, that was barbaric.
[Michael] And now John Cena just mocking Carlito.
Remember what Carlito did to Cena, in Cena's hometown.
-That's what Carlito did. -[Tazz] Oh, man.
-[Michael] Here we go. -[Tazz] No way.
-[Michael] John Cena with an FU. -[Tazz] FU.
[Michael] Connecting. John Cena covers, hooks the leg.
-[Tazz] Look at this. No. -[Michael] Cena got him.
-Cena wins the United States Championship… -[Tazz] Oh, my God.
[Michael] …in a record time.
John Cena, injured kidney and all, has climbed the mountain here tonight.
And now John Cena gonna take back his property,
that chain that Carlito stole from Cena.
-[Tazz] Watch out. Oh, man. -[Michael] Look at Jesús.
Jesús targeting that injured kidney of John Cena,
a sneak attack from behind.
-[Tazz] And that chain, Cole. -[Michael] Oh, not this.
-[Tazz] Look out. Wow. -[Michael] With the chain now,
a direct blow to the kidney area.
[dramatic music playing]
[bell rings]
[announcer] The following contest is the street fight
and it is for the WWE United States Championship.
Now, in this match, there are no disqualifications
and falls count anywhere.
["Basic Thugonomics" playing]
[crowd cheering]
[man] So, you think you're untouchable?
[announcer] Making his way to the ring from West Newbury, Massachusetts,
weighing in at 248 pounds,
is the United States Champion,
John Cena.
[Michael] They are on their feet in Atlanta,
but check out the new United States title around the waist of Cena.
[Tazz] I heard rumors on the street about that bad boy.
That's John Cena's version of the United States Championship,
and I had the opportunity to talk to some of
Cena's players, you know, Cena's mob, you know what I mean,
they told me the title is crunk.
And it's got a lot of bling-bling. "Big diamonds," they said. Big diamonds.
[Michael] It's got like-- it's got like a record player on the front of it, see?
[Tazz] They call it a turntable, man, and it hits.
And I'll tell you what else, girl shoes,
we're in the dirty, dirty as some of the mob members mentioned,
and there's a lot of bling-bling on that title.
-Do you see that? Awesome. -["Basic Thugonomics" playing]
[rapper] ♪ Bare-knuckle men Through fight pits ♪
♪ Beat you lifeless Never survive this ♪
♪ Get forgot like Alzheimer's ♪
♪ Two-faced rappers walk away With four shiners ♪
[Tazz] I like that T-shirt too, by the way.
[Michael] Ruck fules?
[Tazz laughs] Something like that, right?
[Michael] The return tonight of John Cena.
[Tazz] There's only one Doctor of Thugonomics, baby,
and you're looking at him.
He's ready, man. He means business too.
-["Cool" playing] -[Carlito spits] I spit in the face
of people who don't want to be cool.
[announcer] And the challenger weighing in at 262 pounds, Jesús.
[Michael] Well, Jesús just three nights ago
in a match under street fight rules
showed that he's indeed a thug using John Cena's chain.
And he still got that chain. And look at now,
Jesús mocking the kidney injury of Cena.
[Tazz] I know John Cena pretty good, Cole, and I don't remember the last time
I've seen those eyes look like that on Cena.
Cena's not playing.
Jesús might wanna contemplate
staying in that aisle and making fun of him.
Look at those eyes, man.
[Michael] Well, Jesús is wearing stolen property,
that chain stolen from John Cena, used against John Cena.
[Tazz] You know, Cole, I'm sorry to interrupt,
I think it goes beyond that, man.
I mean, come on, he almost ended this man's career,
injured his kidney, injuring a… re-injuring a kidney,
you could… you could cause serious physical problems for a man.
Forget about his, you know, his title and his chain and all that stuff.
John Cena was almost done, man, done.
[Michael] Well, you're right. This is personal.
Jesús tried to cost John Cena his career,
take money out of John Cena's pocket.
[Tazz] And you know, Cole, we still don't know
the condition of John Cena.
Maybe he is done. I don't know. Maybe.
[Michael] We heard rumors Cena was less than 100% tonight,
and if Jesús was at all connected
to what happened at that nightclub a few months ago,
here's a man who tried to intentionally cripple John Cena.
[Tazz] The chain on the corner there, that's…
There's that-- Look at that new championship title,
I mean, that's-- We can take that. I mean, that's awesome stuff. Uh-oh.
-[Michael] And Carlito disrespecting-- -[Tazz] He didn't just do that.
[Michael] Look at Cena!
Jesús turned his back at John Cena hammering away
on Jesús.
[Tazz] I tell you what, give-- Look at those punches,
the brutality and the intensity.
-Oh, my God, Cole. -[Michael] John Cena unloading…
-[Tazz] Oh, my God. -[Michael] …on Jesús.
Beating Jesús down in the corner.
-[Tazz] Stop him. -Ring the bell, baby.
-[crowd cheering] -[Tazz] Whoa.
Oh, man, is he fired up.
[Michael] No holds barred, falls count anywhere,
no disqualification and what a kick to the ribs.
[Tazz] And these are street fight rules as we heard in the… And now John Cena,
this is Cena kind of… John Cena's kind of fight, man. I'm telling you.
-[Michael] Well, Jesús there-- -[Tazz] Oh, wait, wait, wait.
Looks like-- No, no, no.
Looked like Carlito had a kendo stick, I believe, a moment ago.
[Michael] Oh, and a rake to the eyes by Jesús completely legal.
Carlito sending that kendo stick into Jesús.
-[Tazz] It's Jesús. Oh, the kidney! -[Michael] And a shot to the kidney.
A shot to the injured kidney of Cena.
-[Tazz] Whoa! -[Michael] And it just fired John Cena up.
John Cena fired up again.
[Tazz] I'm thinking that kidney might be okay if he came--
[Michael] Uh-oh. Oh, my.
Oh, my God. Right across the skull.
[Tazz] What a shot.
-[Michael] And again. -[Tazz] Oh, my God, that felt--
[Michael] Jesús went after a kidney a third time here tonight
and it may cost him.
[Tazz] I've been hit with a kendo stick, my friend.
You are a dead man.
[Tazz] Not like… not like John Cena.
[Michael] Listen, oh, listen.
-[crowd cheering] -[Tazz] Oh, my God.
That stings like a…
I ain't stopping tonight.
-I'm the champion! -[Michael] Oh, my God.
Cena just busted that kendo stick over the arm of Jesús.
[Tazz] It's a street fight right here and street fight rules,
and this man's from the street.
[Michael] Wow. You heard what Cena said, "I'm not stopping here."
[crowd] Cena! Cena! Cena!
[Michael] Look at him, the Big Cena can't handle--
[Tazz] Oh. Man, oh, man.
[Michael] Jesús has not been able to get started in this street fight match,
John Cena has been a wave of emotion.
[Tazz] And, Cole, I don't think anybody could've gotten started
after what Cena's-- He also is… Uh-oh.
[Michael] Oh, John Cena.
[Tazz] Wait, Carlito's got a sling on there, right?
[Michael] Cena in pursuit of Carlito.
Jesús just fell into the crowd.
[Tazz] Well, Carlito spit that apple. He's outta here.
Carlito's getting while the getting's good.
You're next.
-[Tazz] That's not good. -You're next.
[Michael] John Cena telling Carlito, "You're next."
[Tazz] Well, Carlito spit the apple in John Cena's face
before the bell even rang. Oh, look at this.
[Michael] And that's not all Carlito has done to this man,
John Cena, over the past few months.
[Tazz] I know. I know, you're right. Oh, and--
[Michael] Look at this, the brutal punches to the skull.
[Tazz] Well, that's bare knuckles.
Bare knuckles right there.
John Cena can use any weapon he wants, he chooses not to.
His fists-- You don't need a weapon. His hands are his weapons.
[Michael] Cena saying, "Come on, Carlito, bring it to me."
"Bring it to me, Carlito."
[crowd cheering]
[Tazz] I tell you what, John Cena's confidence level is up
and he's-- John Cena was pounding Jesús.
[Michael] And there you see it, you see that bandage
on the lower back, to kidney area of John Cena.
[Tazz] Oh, he's measured him, Cole. Watch. Watch this.
[Michael] Oh, and a kick, and I believe Jesús has been busted wide open
by those bare knuckles earlier on.
[Tazz] Busted him wide open, Cole.
Let's see a little-- Taking a look at this kick to the head.
Watch this.
[Michael] Oh, God Almighty.
[Tazz] Wow. John Cena is taking no prisoners, Cole.
[Michael] And you talk about the brutality of the bare knuckles,
what a right hand.
You see the blood pouring out of Jesús' head?
That's what the bare knuckles will do.
[Tazz] Absolutely. Falls count anywhere in the building, by the way.
This is all copacetic. It's all legal.
[Michael] Referee Nick Patrick checking on Jesús,
John Cena continues to stomp away.
[Tazz] And see-- oh, look at this, he's got the wire.
Let's take another look at this, this kick.
Look, look, look. Look at the head, watch.
-[Michael] Wow. -[Tazz] Oh, my God Almighty.
[Michael] That looked like a football coming off a tee.
[Tazz] This is not pretty.
[crowd chattering]
[Tazz] I tell you what, I don't think anybody's gonna sign up
for a street fight again with John Cena.
[Michael] But can you blame Cena
for acting the way that he's acting here tonight?
[Tazz] Oh, I don't blame him one iota, my friend.
[Michael] This Jesús is rumored to perhaps look like the man
who crippled John Cena, stabbing him, perhaps, in a night club.
He also delivered that blow to Cena's kidney…
-[Tazz] Wow. -[Michael] …with that steel chain.
[Tazz] I tell you what, John Cena's stalking Jesús.
Jesús is not fighting. He's trying to run, I'm telling you.
Jesús is trying to hightail it.
[Michael] And you notice how Cena is just methodically stalking Jesús.
He wants to savor every moment of this brutal assault on this man.
[Tazz] Well, up into the stands. This is something I've never seen--
I've never seen this out of John Cena before.
Man, oh, Manischewitz.
[Michael] No holds barred in this match-up.
[Tazz] That move going up high,
top of the-- They're heading there.
[Tazz] Well, look at how Cena's taking him.
He's taking him to the top of the arena, Cole. Somewhere near the top.
[Michael] Pinfalls count anywhere in the building.
[Tazz] Whoa, watch out. Hey, whoa, whoa.
-No, don't do this, John. -[Michael] Oh, my.
[Tazz] John, don't do it.
Oh, my God, Cole. What the hell's he--
[Michael] Oh, and look at Carlito, a shot from behind.
[Tazz] I don't think it fazed Cena. It distracted Cena.
[Michael] He has distracted him,
and John Cena still in pursuit of Jesús and Carlito.
[Tazz] Not much left. Not much left of Jesús.
I'll tell you, for street thugs,
these, uh… Carlito and Jesús, they kinda do a lotta running.
-Not for nothing. -[Michael] A lot of running.
[crowd chattering]
[Tazz] Garbage can, and you know what--
[Michael] Well, how apropos is this, trash for a piece of trash.
[Tazz] I tell you, that looks like Jesús is trying to head back towards the ring,
but there is no safe ground for this dude.
[Michael] Jesús is trying to battle back into this thing but hasn't been able--
[Tazz] Oh, my God.
[Michael] Hasn't been able to muster no offense has Jesús.
[Tazz] Oh! Cena just beating the crap out of this kid.
[Michael] And again, you see that bandage on that injured kidney
and he's trying to battle back again.
-And look at-- -[Tazz] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
[Michael] There's Carlito with the blows to the small of the back.
[Tazz] He's looking at me, I like what I see on his--
Whoa, man, look at these punches.
[Michael] John Cena is fazed by nothing here tonight.
[Tazz] I just said-- I'm thinking about saying "He's gonna headbutt him,"
and sure enough he did.
I like that I'm seeing that out of John Cena.
[Michael] Jesús trying to scramble back into the ring area.
[crowd chanting] Cena! Cena! Cena! Cena!
[Michael] Look at John Cena on the barricade.
[Tazz] He's a thug, all right, baby.
[Michael] I don't believe Jesús knows where he's at.
-[Tazz] Oh, my God. -[Michael] Face first goes Jesús.
[Tazz] Well, John Cena has proven he's a thug tonight.
And I tell you what, I think there's no doubt
he's 100% from a health standpoint of his kidney.
[Michael] Jesús shoved back into the ring,
John Cena continues his assault.
[Tazz] Hey, not for nothing, has Jesús had, like,
one offensive move here?
[Michael] Yeah, the one shot with a kendo stick.
[Tazz] I forgot about that.
[Michael] And remember, that shot to the kidney…
-…seemed to wake John Cena up… -[Tazz] What you looking for?
…and turn him… turn him up in this match-up.
[Tazz] What's Cena looking for? He's looking under the ring.
He's-- He can use anything he wants. Again, to reiterate, it's a street fight,
no disqualification, falls count anywhere.
[Michael] See, Carlito just snooping around like a scaredy cat.
[Tazz] Yeah. Well, he just ran by the front of the announce table here
and now John Cena's got-- Uh-oh.
[Michael] A little trash can lid.
[Tazz] Yup. That'll leave a mark.
[Michael] And so will that.
-[Tazz] What is that? -[Michael] Piece of steel.
-[Tazz] It's steel-- -[Michael] Or metal.
[Tazz] Well, metal is steel, right? I think so.
-[Michael] Yeah. -[Tazz] It's a mineral.
[Michael] Variation of it.
-[Tazz] Mineral. -[Michael] Oh, my.
-Oh. -[Tazz] Man.
[Tazz] Well, I think the end is near for one Jesús.
-[Michael] Oh. -[Tazz] My God.
[Michael] Bone-chilling.
[Tazz] Oh, there goes the shape of his head.
Can sell it on a WWE auction site.
[crowd cheering]
[Tazz] Pumping it up, pumping it up.
[Michael] The Doctor is pumping it up.
He is stalking Jesús.
I don't believe Jesús knows where he's at.
You can't see me.
[Tazz] Well, he sure himself can't see him. He's damn near knocked out.
[Michael] Here we go, up on the shoulders.
[Tazz] You called it, Cole. Go ahead.
[Michael] John Cena in position,
the United States Champion's rolling.
And he's making Jesús and Carlito suffer through this.
-[Tazz] There it is. -[Michael] FU connecting.
[Tazz] Right in the face of Carlito.
[Michael] Here's the cover, hook of the leg.
-John Cena retains… -[bell rings]
[Michael] …the United States Championship.
[Tazz] Thanks for coming, Jesús.
[announcer] Here's your winner,
and still United States Champion,
John Cena.
[Michael] I have never seen John Cena
in the state of mind that he was in here tonight in Armageddon.
-Oh, wait minute. Look at Carlito. -[Tazz] Whoa, whoa, whoa.
[Michael] Carlito going for the steel chain,
and John Cena's got Carlito.
[Tazz] Got caught with your hand in the cookie jar, my man.
-That's not cool. -[indistinct chatter]
[Tazz] Uh-oh.
[Michael] Carlito begging for mercy.
I'm so sorry.
-[Tazz] He's saying he's sorry. -No, wait. No, listen, wait!
[Michael] John Cena.
-[crowd] Cena! Cena! -[Tazz] I don't like this.
Actually, I might. I could do.
-[Carlito] No. Wait. Please, Cena. -[crowd chanting and cheering]
No, no! I'll do the time!
-[Michael] Oh, my. -[Tazz] Oh, my God.
[Michael] Oh, steel chain to the skull of Carlito.
And, Tazz, you know what John Cena said
for Carlito and Jesús,
-"Payback is a bitch." -Eight big diamonds!
[Tazz] Spin it, baby.
Spin it, baby. Yeah. Bling, bling in the dirty, dirty.
Wow.
John Cena came, he saw, he kicked some ass, Cole.
Big time.
[Michael] John Cena has the United State Championship.
John Cena has that symbol of pride back around his neck,
his steel chain.
[Tazz] And he's also got one of the most awesome,
prettiest championships I've ever seen.
Pretty, innovative and creative,
that new John Cena's version of the United State Championship.
Big time, big diamonds right there for the United States Champion.
[Michael] And the ring looks like a garbage dump,
trash strewn throughout the ring
as we take another look
at what happened in the closely moments in this match-up.
Here is the shot that really woke up John Cena.
[Tazz] Yeah, check this out.
Right in that… right in that kidney, and I thought the end was near for Cena.
[Michael] Yeah, but watch Cena's reaction here.
Enough is enough.
[Tazz] That kind of ignited Cena. Look at this.
-[crowd cheering] -[Tazz] Oh, God Almighty.
Kendo stick right across the head.
And watch this here.
Watch this kick.
-[Michael] Wow. -[Tazz] Man. I'll tell you what…
[Michael] Like Jesús' head was on a swivel.
[Tazz] We say it week in and week out, this is not ballet.
And John Cena meant business, retains his championship.
The United States Champion's intact.
He looks healthy, and that's a good thing.
[Michael] Well, check out that brand-new United States title.
[singer] ♪ It's the condition of the business ♪
♪ Your lame vision of a underground ♪
Oh, God. I cannot believe that Dawn Marie
-ran out during your match tonight… -You can't?
…and cost you and your team a win, Charlie.
I can't, either.
I'm gonna finish her off once and for all tonight.
I hope so because I am getting tired of this.
-God. -Hey, baby.
Hey, I know. I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry for all this mess and confusion.
I mean, our engagement is supposed to be the happiest time of our life.
It's supposed to be.
And Dawn Marie's just trying to ruin it.
-[sighs] -But, baby…
I promise you…
later tonight, I'll make it up to you.
-You will? -Yeah.
-Promise? -Promise.
Good. But speaking of engagements,
you sure you wanna risk wearing this out there?
[laughs] God, I can't believe I forgot to take it off.
-I'm sorry. -Haven't even got it insured yet, Jackie.
-[giggles] -Please be careful.
No, I will.
Baby. Charlie…
I love you so much.
You are the most important thing in my life.
I love you, too.
-[crowd cheering] -[Tazz] Oh.
Now, I want you to go out and get her, okay?
Yeah.
-Whoa. -[smacks]
-[Tazz] Oh. -Not bad, Gayda.
-["Bytch Slapped" playing] -[Tazz] Let me ask you something.
-[Michael] Yeah? -[Tazz] Since when…
uh, is there a rule against making out with the referee before a match
and, like, jamming your tongue down his throat?
She sucked up to the referee. What's--
[Michael] They're engaged, number one, but why should there be?
-[bell rings] -[Tazz] I don't even know.
[announcer] The following Diva match is scheduled for one fall.
Approaching the ring,
Dawn Marie.
[Michael] This is the woman who, in my mind,
has called all this undue stress on Jackie and, uh, Charlie's relationship.
-[Tazz] You don't know that. -[Michael] Rumors and innuendos
that Charlie's having an affair with Dawn Marie.
She's the only one I've heard talking about the rumors.
[Tazz] Hence, judging on a very lovely and pure young lady like Dawn Marie.
-[Michael] Pure? -[Tazz] Oh, she's pure.
Are you kidding me? What do you mean? She's pure.
[Michael] Speaking about sticking tongues down people's throats,
she did that to the Tough Enough finalists a few weeks back, and she's pure?
[Tazz] That don't make her bad. She's friendly.
-[chuckling] -["Purple Mary" playing]
[announcer] And making her way to the ring, Miss Jackie
and the special referee, Charlie Haas.
[Michael] Everybody's talking about what a tough predicament--
[Tazz] Hold up. Let me interrupt you while you're talking.
How does the… how does the combatant in the match,
walk to the ring with the referee?
[Michael] They're engaged.
[Tazz] I never saw this before. I knew it. This could end here.
[Michael] Everybody's talking about what a tough predicament Charlie's in.
It's a no-brainer.
You count the one, two, three for your fiancée
and you go home and you go back to, uh, having some fun.
-[Tazz] Whoa, whoa. -[Michael] Look at this.
[Michael] Jackie and Dawn Marie, and Dawn Marie with a slap.
[bell rings]
[Tazz] Well, no.
-Oh, man. -[Michael] Oh, wow.
This has been building for months between these two.
Oh, and off the knee goes Dawn Marie's skull.
[Tazz] Like Charlie Haas said earlier, he'll be happy once this thing is over.
[Michael] It's gonna be over here tonight,
we hope, as Miss Jackie…
[Tazz] Well, it is-- you know it is, right?
It is Armageddon, the end.
♪ The end is near ♪
That's the song, right?
-You heard it. [laughs] -[Michael] Oh.
And look at Miss Jackie hanging on to the apron.
Oh, and a shoulder to the gut of Dawn Marie.
Miss…
-[Tazz] Miss Jackie-- -[Michael] She's fired up tonight.
[Tazz] Nice headbutt.
-[Michael] A right hand by Dawn Marie. -[Tazz] Oh, my God.
[Michael] Dawn Marie is a feisty one.
[Charlie Haas] Watch the fist.
Nah, watch the fists!
[Tazz] This is better than a boxing match.
[Michael] I hear Charlie Haas saying, "Watch the fists,"
but you don't see him getting between the two ladies.
-I guess you can't blame him, right? -[Tazz] I can't blame him.
Smart.
-[Michael] Uh-oh. -[Tazz] What the hell?
[Michael] Miss Jackie driven into that turnbuckle.
[Tazz] Whoa. Watch out. A little fallout.
[Charlie Haas] One, two, three.
-[Tazz] Shoulders. Look at Charlie Haas. -[Charlie Haas] Four! Come on.
-[Tazz] Oh! Spat on her! -[groans]
I told you, she's a pure young lady.
You can bring this girl right home to your mom.
-[Michael] Oh, yeah. Okay. -[Tazz] She bakes a nice apple pie.
[Michael] Bring her home to your mom.
[laughter]
[Michael] I know your mom.
And look at Miss Jackie hammering away on Dawn Marie.
[Tazz] If I did that, my wife would kill me.
Oh, wait a minute. Hey.
Uh-oh. What-- hey.
[Michael] I guess there's perks to being the ref.
[Tazz] What is this now? Now all of a sudden,
-the ref is… -What are you doing?
[Michael] Charlie said, "What are you doing?
[Tazz] That's not a bad thing.
-What the hell? -[Michael] Oh, my.
-[Tazz] What's going on? -[Michael] Look at Miss Jackie.
Shoulders are down.
-[Tazz] Watch out. -[Michael] Dawn Marie rolls through.
-Dawn Marie's got the tights. -[Tazz] She's got them.
-[Michael] She's got-- -[Tazz] She's sitting on her.
-[bell rings] -[Michael] Dawn Marie had the tights.
-[Tazz] Wait a minute. -[Michael] Charlie…
[announcer] Here is your winner, Dawn Marie.
-[Michael] Wait a minute. -[Tazz] Dawn wins.
Charlie counted, uh, Jackie down.
[Michael] Yeah, but Dawn had the tights, right?
[Tazz] I guess so. I mean, she still won.
She had the-- All right. Let's see.
[Michael] I can't believe this.
[Tazz] Well, explain this one. Charlie, explain this to your fiancée.
I can't wait to hear this one.
[crowd chattering]
I am tired of getting in the middle of both of you.
Jackie, everyone knows that we're engaged,
but can I help it that the rumor going around the locker room
is that Dawn and I are having an affair?
[crowd chattering]
Well, the truth is…
yes, Jackie, Dawn and I are having an affair.
And as of right now, this engagement is off.
Now quit crying.
Jackie, please don't cry.
You're a beautiful young woman.
You're gonna make someone very happy.
[crowd chattering]
And I love you.
It's just that, Jackie…
I'm not in love with you. [laughs]
And when it comes to making love,
you're like making love to a dead, wet fish.
[crowd exclaiming]
Now, Dawn Marie, on the other hand,
she's as hot as Atlanta, Georgia on the 4th of July.
-God, have mercy. -[crowd cheering]
So, Dawn,
there's only one question I have to ask you.
Oh, yeah, baby. Ask me. Finally.
[Michael] There's the engagement ring.
-[gasps] -[crowd chattering]
[Tazz] That's Jackie's engagement ring.
-[Michael] It was. -[crowd chattering]
Dawn,
why are you such a slut?
[crowd cheering]
[Charlie Haas] I wouldn't marry either one of you.
So, why don't you two kiss and make up, because I'm outta here?
-[crowd cheering] -[Michael] What the hell is going on?
[Tazz] I don't know.
[crowd cheering]
[Michael] I can't believe this.
[Tazz] Well, this is Armageddon
and the end is not only near, it's here.
[Michael] For not only Dawn but Jackie.
[Tazz] Well, there's no engagement. At least he didn't get the ring insured,
saved some coin.
[crowd chanting] Charlie! Charlie! Charlie.
[Michael] I can't believe it.
There's the seven-foot, 470-pound Big Show set for action next,
the three-on-one match-up against Angle and his crew.
-[Tazz] Yeah, on the way to the ring-- Oh. -Babe,
I just wanna wish you good luck.
I love you. Good luck.
[Michael] Joy Giovanni.
[Tazz] Talk about motivation by the lovely Joy.
Wow.
-["Medal" playing] -[Michael] Why can't we get that
as we prepare to come out and call a pay-per-view?
[Tazz] I don't know, because you are you, that's why.
And I'm getting the bad rep from you.
[Michael] And here comes the man who, earlier tonight,
made Santa Claus tap out.
[crowd chanting] You suck!
You suck!
-[Michael] Santa Claus? -[Tazz] I know.
I-- what do you want me to say?
I saw it. It was pretty wild. I don't know what to tell you.
[bell rings]
[announcer] The following is a three-on-one Handicap match
scheduled for one fall.
In the ring, at a combined weight of 795 pounds,
Mark Jindrak, Luther Reigns, and Kurt Angle.
[Michael] Well, three nights ago on SmackDown,
a taste of what it may be like tonight for the Big Show.
Big Show challenged Kurt Angle in Angle's invitational,
but Mark Jindrak was thrown to the wolves instead.
And the match really broke down into a three-on-one affair.
[Tazz] Well, it was. It seemed it might have been a trap
to the largest, referred to as
"The World's Largest Athlete in the World" the Big Show.
But then watch this impact
with these steel steps into the spine of the Big Show.
Check it out.
Oh, God Almighty.
Those steps, Cole, they…
Look at that, the rebounding off the back of the Big Show, man.
That's what I'm saying. Oh, my God. He's out.
I'm wondering, what is the condition?
What is the physical condition of the Big Show?
[Michael] He looked… he looked to be okay
with Joy Giovanni in the back a few moments ago.
[Tazz] Well, you know, Joy Giovanni making out with you, you'd be okay, too.
-["Big" playing] -[singer] ♪ Well ♪
[Tazz] Well, it's just a little kiss for good luck, you know?
[Michael] Oh.
[singer] ♪ Yes, it's a big bad show Tonight, y'all… ♪
[announcer] Making his way to the ring,
standing seven feet tall,
weighing 470 pounds,
the Big Show.
[Michael] Despite the fact that the Big Show requested this match, Tazz,
the odds are stacked against the seven-footer here tonight.
[Tazz] Yeah. I said it the past couple of weeks, my view on this.
I just think the big man, the Big Show
bit off a little bit more than he can chew.
He's in there with three extremely incredible athletes,
SmackDown superstars.
And one of those three is an Olympic gold medalist
in the red, white, and blue right there.
[Michael] Yeah, Kurt Angle winning that gold medal here in Atlanta.
And referee Brian Hebner may have the toughest job here tonight
because Kurt Angle's team is supposed to tag in and out of this match-up.
[Tazz] Well, who's gonna start this thing on Angle's team?
-[bell rings] -[Tazz] That's the question.
[Michael] Well, the seven-foot, 470-pound Big Show with no teammate.
[Tazz] Look at the two of them, they thought of a strategy.
That's Knute Rockne. Look at Kurt Angle.
[Michael] Knute Rockne?
1930 wants their star back.
-[Tazz] All right. -[Michael] So it's gonna be Mark Jindrak,
perhaps the, uh, one of the best pure athletes here on SmackDown
to start things off against Big Show.
Again, if you wanna know why the Big Show requested this match-up,
these three men, Jindrak, Angle, and Luther Reigns
have made Big Show's life a living hell…
[Tazz] Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's this?
[Michael] …over the past few weeks,
including the fact that they raped Big Show of his dignity
when they shaved his head a couple of months ago.
[Tazz] Big Show keeps his head shaved as a symbol,
a signal to Kurt Angle to show him,
"I remember, I know what you did to me."
[Michael] Hey, what about that night when…
[Tazz] Hey, hold on. Wait. Watch this.
[crowd chattering]
[Tazz] What's Mark doing? This isn't exactly body building
here, Mr. Jindrak.
You're doing a single bicep. Look, there's an ab shot there.
You know, Cole, I've done my share of body building. I've been on stage.
[Michael] Me too. And look at Jindrak, locks up, center of the ring
with Big Show and Big Show goes to work on that left arm of Mark Jindrak.
Do you ever forget the picture you saw that night?
[Tazz] And by the way, you've been on stage,
uh, with the Ziegfield Follies. [laughs]
Whoa, that's not funny right there.
And driving Jindrak into the… into the… uh, into the mat there.
[Jindrak screams]
[Tazz] Oh!
Big Show is on the hunt.
You can talk anytime soon.
[Michael] It's like a fry-- Watch this. This is like a frying pan.
[Tazz] Oh.
[Michael] Take a frying pan and put it in your chest.
That's what it feels like.
[Tazz] Want me to do that when I go home?
-No. No, thanks. Look at this. -[Michael laughs]
-Biel! -[Tazz] Look at the biel!
[Michael] That was almost fully across the ring.
-And Jindrak… -[Tazz] Wow.
[Michael] …looking to make a tag and Kurt Angle says,
"No, we got some more lessons to learn, son."
And Jindrak just tagged Angle in.
[Tazz] Oh, he did-- Well, it's not right.
I mean, Kurt Angle is trying to coach Jindrak
and tell him, "You know, you keep going."
[Michael] Well, you know what, enough is enough.
-[Tazz] Uh-oh. -[Michael] Angle weaseled--
Angle weaseled out at the invitational Thursday night
he's trying to weasel out of this when he's gonna have to face the music.
[Tazz] Oh, you're close, Kurt. You're close.
-[Michael] Oh. -[Tazz] Oh, my God.
-[Michael] That's power. -[Tazz] He's an animal.
Big Show is a giant. He's a monster.
[Michael] Big Show locked up, and again Kurt Angle.
[Tazz] Wow.
[Michael] And he's had enough. Here comes Luther Reigns.
[Tazz] Oh, yes. That--
well, I don't know if Luther really wanted to get tagged by Mr. Angle.
[Michael] Reigns, the 280-pounder
has spent much of his life behind bars in prison,
hence his violent attitude.
-[Tazz] A backhand to the face there. -Hey, hey. Watch that fist.
[Michael] Luther Reigns not too pleased when he asked Joy Giovanni out on a date.
She said she's going out with the Big Show instead.
Oh!
[Tazz] We had a lovely Thanksgiving, uh, you know, the party
that the Big Show was throwing. We were invited into it, and…
-Oh. -[Michael] Oh.
[Tazz] And then, uh…
[Michael] Oh, welcome to the ring, Mr. Jindrak.
[Tazz] Luther Reigns-- I'm trying to make… complete a thought.
Luther Reigns came out and disrupted the whole party. Remember that?
[Michael] Oh, a double headbutt.
Check out the strength of the seven-foot, 470-pounder.
-[Tazz] Look at this. -[Michael] Wow.
[Tazz] Oh, my God.
Between those ropes and then Kurt would've…
Kurt would've ended up in-- Oh, Kurt would've ended up in Macon.
[Michael] That was Kurt Angle. Here's Luther Reigns into the cover
and a kickout by Big Show.
Angle bumped Big Show up on the top rope.
And now Kurt Angle comes into the ring when the big man's down.
[Tazz] Uh, well, opportunity knocked.
Now Kurt comes in, perfect opportunity.
Well, now he's on the, you know, on the ribs of the Big Show.
[Michael] But contrary to what we saw earlier tonight,
-the Big Show is not Santa Claus. -[Tazz] No, he's not.
Now, you see Kurt getting the Big Show down here.
Now Big Show is the same size as Kurt Angle.
Once you get the big man brought to the mat--
Look at that front facelock, right?
And the tag to Jindrak.
Now, you got the big man down.
-Now, you got him where you want him. -[Michael] Kurt Angle like the coach,
like the captain, in complete control of the match-up,
frequent tags in and out for his team.
Jindrak back on the attack, going to work on the knee of Big Show,
-bring the seven-footer down to your size. -[Tazz] Oh.
[Michael] And what a dropkick by the man with a biggest vertical leap in SmackDown
[Tazz] Well, this is bound to happen.
And now again on the ribs,
Jindrak putting the foot on the ribs
and putting pressure on those ribs of the big man.
[Michael] And here's the tag to Luther Reigns.
Again, the frequent tags keeping Angle's team fresh.
And remember, Big Show has no one to tag, Tazz.
He can't catch his breath in this match-up.
[Tazz] I guess that's why they call it a Handicap match, right?
-[Michael] Right. -[Tazz] Thank you there. Quickie.
[Michael] And Luther continues to work on the small of the back, the rib cage.
[Tazz] Oh, yeah. You see that though?
Big Show picked the ankle right there.
Reigns dropped him down, but Luther Reigns, gets right back up
and brings the offense to the Big Show.
[Michael] And here's Jindrak back in off the tag and the double team.
Angle has the referee distracted…
-[Tazz] Uh-oh. -[Michael] …allowing the double team.
-[Tazz] Five hundred pounds. -[Michael] The 500-pounder
almost driven to the mat.
[Michael] Here's the cover. Hook of the leg.
They have him here. Big Show just rolled his shoulder up.
[Tazz] Two very extremely large men in Jindrak and Reigns
to get Big Show off on that vertical suplex.
[Michael] And now Kurt Angle on the assault,
-kicks to the ribs, goes to work. -[Tazz] Oh, man.
-[Michael] Look at this. -[Tazz] Oh, man.
That's why you don't wanna be where that…
He gets you thrown on that mat,
hooks the submission.
He's got the knee well-placed in the lower back,
stretching the ribs out and clasps the neck
in that large farm animal-like head of the Big Show,
and pulls the head back.
Come on. Come on, Show.
[Michael] And here Kurt Angle always intense,
one of the three Is.
[Tazz] Yeah, he's got-- Uh-oh. Look at this.
Now Kurt Angle-- Uh-oh.
Nice pin from that-- Reverse front facelock for that pin.
[Michael] Now, look at Kurt Angle continuing the assault
and Angle working on Big Show,
keeping Big Show on the mat, keeping the big man down.
[Tazz] Yeah. That front facelock, believe me, that is a lethal hold.
It doesn't look super fancy.
It doesn't have to be.
A front facelock, a front headlock, can really hit the--
-[Michael] But look at the power-- -[Tazz] Oh, my God.
[Michael] With one arm, Big Show lifting Kurt Angle up,
but Luther Reigns, again, taking out the knee from behind.
[Tazz] That's an Olympic gold medalist front facelock and he's hoisting.
[Michael] Oh, my God.
And then Kurt Angle using the ropes for leverage,
-continuing the pressure on the Big Show. -[crowd chanting] Let's go, Big Show!
[Tazz] That's a five-count.
The reason why the refs count to five
because you've got five counts to let go… to let go of that rope.
You see the frequent tags here as we saw earlier tonight.
René Duprée and Suzuki did it against Van Dam and Mysterio,
but they were not successful.
[Michael] Well, Big Show is in a world of trouble.
And this is what we've talked about earlier on, Tazz.
Big Show may have bitten off more that he can chew…
-[Tazz] Well… -[Michael] …asking for this match-up.
[Tazz] …that's what I'm saying, man. It looks like the end might be near now
for the Big Show.
Just like it was for Santa, that poor Santa, Jolly St. Nick.
[Michael] Don't forget Jesús.
[Tazz] Jesús, don't forget about that, and Carlito.
And we talked about Jackie.
How about Jackie's relationship with Haas?
How about Dawn's relationship, you know?
That's over. Thanks for coming. Everything's over. Everything's done.
[Michael] And the end may be near for the WWE Champion later on tonight.
[Tazz] Are we getting fired?
You think we're done at the end of the show?
Maybe we're done. The end is near for us.
[Michael] Oh. If the boss is listening, we may will be.
And Kurt Angle knocking the Big Show down
and the 470-pounder is down again
and Kurt Angle's team, nearly perfect here.
[Tazz] Well, I gotta give it up for Big Show, though.
He knew what he was getting into here,
but it shows how much disdain and hatred he has
-for Jindrak and Reigns. -[Michael] Hey, can you blame him?
[Michael] Remember the night when Kurt Angle
put a tranquilizer dart to his back?
The Big Show was knocked out,
and then the audacity to shave the man's head on national television.
[Tazz] Yeah. That was not a good night for the Big Show.
Embarrassed him. He… he embarrassed him.
He shot him with that dart. He embarrassed him.
And now the Big Show trying to get out-- Look at the size of the hand of Big Show.
[Michael] And what does Big Show have to do here?
[Tazz] He's gotta try and get that man, Jindrak, off his back.
That would help. He's gotta try and get out of this, Cole.
He's gotta get to a vertical base
and try to get one of his arms around the waist of Jindrak,
maybe suplex him or elbow him.
Yeah, arm around the waist. You know, I've done this before.
[Michael] And Big Show with the shot to the ribs.
And look at Kurt Angle.
It was Luther Reigns drawing the referee.
Kurt Angle into the ring for a cheap shot.
[Tazz] Well, that's why Angle's so successful.
He knows when to pick his spots.
He saw that Big Show was starting to build.
He got to a vertical base, got some momentum and Angle shut him down.
[Michael] Hey, referee, are you gonna get one of these guys out of the ring?
[Tazz] All right. Easy. You know, he's--
[Michael] And look at Angle, a shot from behind.
Jindrak caught by the Big Show.
[Tazz] Uh-oh. Right around-- Uh-oh. Watch out.
[Michael] Luther Reigns in trouble, headbutt.
[Tazz] Oh, man, what a headbutt.
-Uh-oh. -[Michael] Look at this.
Big Show dropping Jindrak like a bag of potatoes.
[Tazz] Big time, like a fireman carry there.
Body slam.
[Michael] Yeah, but a fireman carry from, like, ten feet in the air.
[Tazz] With ease.
[Michael] And Kurt Angle from behind. Uh-oh.
[Tazz] Uh-oh. Watch out, Kurt. This is not Santa Claus.
[Michael] This is not good.
-[crowd cheering] -[Tazz] Kurt's folding!
[Michael] And again from behind, Jindrak and Reigns
and the referee has gotta get one of these guys out of the ring.
[Tazz] Not it.
-[Michael] Oh, and a big clothesline. -[Tazz] Oh. Oh, my God.
[Michael] Double clothesline.
[Tazz] Like getting hit by like a double Dutch bus or something like that.
Now what?
-Reigns getting… -[Michael] Oh, my.
[Tazz] You don't wanna be there.
-Look at this. -[Michael] Powerbomb.
-[Tazz] Maybe a-- No. -[Michael] Oh, wow.
Face first goes Jindrak.
[Tazz] And the power's amazing by the Big Show. Power.
[Michael] But Luther Reigns continues the assault
'cause once the Big Show gets one man down,
there's two others to contend with.
[Tazz] I mean, it's supposed to be one with-- One-on-one in there somewhere,
but the referee, Brian Hebner, has lost control.
You can't blame him, the ref.
I mean, he's gotta get a little help out here.
Double-team now by Angle and Reigns.
[Michael] There's a headbutt to Kurt Angle.
Luther Reigns, Big Show reversal.
Reigns whipped off-- Oh, Reigns over the top rope.
-[Tazz] Yup, right there. Oh. -[Michael] Kurt Angle to the midsection,
-going for the Angle Slam. -[Tazz] Look out-- Oh, my God.
[Michael] A near 500-pounder,
Angle Slam by Kurt Angle.
And the end could be near.
[Tazz] Angle's shifting gears, Cole.
[Michael] And here's the Ankle Lock.
And Big Show… Kurt goes down.
[Tazz] And Show knew to get out of that thing quick.
So it couldn't do no damage
'cause that hold was up too quick.
[Michael] And here's the double-team again.
And there goes Jindrak over the top rope.
[Tazz] Big time power by the big man.
[Michael] Luther Reigns runs into the size 22 5E boot.
And there are the steel steps again
and Big Show just kicked them out of the hands of Kurt Angle.
[Tazz] Big Show somehow with--
-Uh-oh. What's this? -[Michael] Oh, my.
-[Tazz] Another fireman's carry, maybe. -[Michael] What is this?
-[Tazz] Is that a fireman's-- -[Michael] Wait a minute.
Is that… is that an F-5?
[Tazz] F-5… like an F-500.
[Michael] Hey. Here's the hook of the leg.
-Big Show wins with-- -[bell rings]
-[singer] ♪ Well ♪ -[Tazz] How the hell did that happen?
[Michael] I can't believe it.
[Tazz] What the--
[announcer] Here is your winner, the Big Show.
[Michael] Big Show overcomes the odds to win this three-on-one match-up.
But tell me again.
Was that an F-5?
[Tazz] Yeah, it was. It definitely was.
I mean, I would like to call it an F-500.
Look at the size of the big man.
But out of nowhere, how did he--
First of all, how did the Big Show even end up being successful?
He was triple-teamed most of the match,
[Michael] Maybe it was the, uh, good luck kiss from Joy Giovanni.
[Tazz] Oh, that could be.
I mean, she… you know, Joy Giovanni, she has a lot of good luck.
She's got the McIntosh touch, you know. You get it, the magic touch.
What are you laughing at, you--
Well, you know in a… in just a couple of weeks actually, uh--
Come on. Let me fix your tie here.
-There you go. -Thanks, Tazz.
-A week from Thursday… -Yeah.
…we are going back to the Middle East.
-Yes. -SmackDown will be there
to entertain the troops for the holiday season.
But who will ever forget last year,
the WWE spending the holiday season…
It was Christmas in Baghdad with the troops.
The last few days have been remarkable.
I mean, I have never seen these troops this motivated.
This was the best in my entire career.
WWE put on a major performance for all the troops.
And that's why on this tour,
they reached many, many more than anyone has ever met before.
This was really unique and the first of its kind.
Commanders and senior NCOs said
they've never seen bigger smiles on the troops.
The troops said even though they're gonna be away for Christmas,
this is gonna give them the comfort that they need.
In my 43 years, this is the best tour I've ever seen.
[hopeful music playing]
[Art] May God bless all of you and have a safe and happy holiday season.
And let's do this again in 2004.
[cheers and applause]
[dramatic music playing]
And we are going to do it again a week from Thursday on SmackDown.
We're heading back to the Middle East.
It's the holiday Tribute to the Troops.
The troops can't come home for Christmas,
so we're gonna bring a little Americana home to the troops.
Hey. And I'll tell you what, speaking on behalf of the WWE, it's our pleasure, man.
We can't wait to get there.
And standing by is Funaki with a very special interview.
This is Funaki, SmackDown number one announcer.
Tonight, I have very special guest,
Funaki.
Thank you, Funaki. Great to be here.
Thank you, Funaki.
Nice shirt, Funaki.
Okay. Serious, Funaki.
Do you feel you can beat Spike Dudley?
Good question, Funaki.
Yes, I think I can.
I believe that I--
What the hell is this, Funaki?
Is this some kind of a joke?
Are you so pathetic that no one will speak to you,
you're gonna sit here and interview yourself?
Well, I've got a question for you.
How does it feel knowing that no matter how hard you try tonight,
you will never take my Cruiserweight title?
You get that? Do you understand?
All right, Spike. I have a question for you, all right?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Armageddon.
Armageddon, who?
Armageddon your title
and become number one Cruiserweight Champion.
-["Dojo" playing] -[Tazz] Wow.
[Michael] Now, Funaki is fired up here tonight.
And Spike Dudley, well, he's very confident as well.
[Tazz] Well, Funaki means business. That's for sure.
["Dojo" playing]
[Michael] He is perhaps the most unlikeliest
of the number one contenders for the Cruiserweight title.
Funaki winning the Cruiserweight battle royal this past Thursday,
even to his surprise.
[bell rings]
[announcer] The following contest is scheduled for one fall
and it is for the WWE Cruiserweight Championship of the World.
Introducing the challenger from Japan,
weighing in at 208 pounds,
Funaki.
[Michael] How excited was Funaki when he won that battle royal
Thursday night on SmackDown
and now a championship opportunity?
["Ollie Stalefish" playing]
[announcer] And weighing in at 150 pounds,
he's the Cruiserweight Champion of the World,
Spike Dudley.
[Michael] Now, Spike Dudley has held the Cruiserweight Championship for months now
and he doesn't really seem to miss his brothers' D-Von and Bubba Ray
out with injuries suffered at the hands of the Big Show.
Spike's been doing pretty well on his own.
[Tazz] He doesn't seem to miss Bubba Ray and D-Von.
And also, Spike came out with a big smirk and grin,
and Spike looks extremely confident.
And maybe the end is near for Funaki's opportunity
to become Cruiserweight Champion.
[Michael] I used to like Spike Dudley, but boy, has his attitude changed.
[Tazz] Really? You used to like him?
Well, I know Spike very well. He never liked you.
[Michael] Well, Spike's attitude has changed
since he won that Cruiserweight Championship.
-[Tazz] No one likes you, Cole. -[Michael] I just ignore you.
[Tazz] Ah. Shut up.
[Michael] And that's what it's all about, the Cruiserweight Championship.
Already tonight, John Cena retained his United States Championship.
The tag team champions retained their gold.
Will Spike Dudley do the same here with the Cruiserweight title on the line?
[Tazz] As you pointed out on Heat…
-[bell rings] -[Tazz] …or earlier, or whatever,
you pointed out at some point,
Funaki is a former Hardcore Champion.
[Michael] The only title he's held in eight years here in the WWE.
[Tazz] Don't say it like that, like, you're taking a shot at the guy.
[Michael] No, I'm not taking a shot.
It just puts into perspective the opportunity that it's…
that it is for Funaki here tonight.
[Tazz] Well, that's a go behind by Spike
and a standing switch by Funaki.
[Michael] What type of action do you expect to see
first out of the champion, Spike Dudley here?
[Tazz] Well, I expect to see Spike trying to do some wrestling here with the-- Nice.
[Michael] Here's the cover, kickout.
[Tazz] With Funaki, Spike does know… you know, knows how to go on the mat.
But Spike doesn't usually make mistakes.
Spike's a veteran, he knows how to get it done,
but he's a… he's our cruiserweight
and cruiserweights do take… do take chances.
Won't be surprised to see a high-risk--
[Michael] Here we go, shoulders down, Spike may be in trouble
and a kickout after two.
And Funaki taking to Spike, here's a schoolboy,
hooks the leg, kickout again.
[Tazz] Yeah. That was a small package, Cole. Small package.
You should know small package, you can relate to a small package.
[Michael] Oh, nice drop to a hold by Funaki.
And Funaki working on the arm, rolls him over, Oklahoma roll,
shoulders down, kickout.
And there's Spike with a big knee to the gut of Funaki.
[Tazz] Yeah. It just stopped and Spike just--
Oh, what a forearm right there.
[Michael] Now, what about Funaki?
What type of strategy should the veteran Funaki use?
[Tazz] Oh, I would think I would try and--
That's a nice… that's an underarm spin right there.
That's just fallen into an armbar.
And I think Funaki should try and maybe
pinpoint a body part or something like that,
like he might be doing. Go for an arm, work on the arm.
I don't know, Cole. You're asking me these questions, I don't know.
What do you think, I'm gonna give you my strategies I used to use?
[Michael] You were never a cruiserweight.
You can only see cruiserweights Thursday night on SmackDown on UPN.
[Tazz] I never was. I'm the height of a cruiserweight,
but I was the weight of a heavyweight. So that was the problem.
But I've also been the champion several times but enough about me.
What do you think about me?
[Michael] Oh, and Spike with a right hand to the side of the head of Funaki.
Spike Dudley with that nasty attitude.
It's really helped him since being crowned champion.
-Up over the top goes Spike, Funaki-- -[Tazz] Whoa.
[Michael] Spike goes through the second rope.
[Tazz] Nice leverage move there by Funaki.
[Michael] Funaki looks all fired up here tonight.
[Tazz] Oh, I'm telling you, Funaki is thinking
of something wacky and silly and crazy.
I said there'd be high-risk.
[Michael] Baseball slide. And he caught Spike right in the face.
[Tazz] It is a little high-risk, a little hi-jinks and high-risk.
And hi-jinks.
[Michael] Into the ring goes Spike,
Funaki into the cover, hooks the leg, champion's down, in trouble.
-No! -You gotta watch the hair.
[Michael] I mean, for Funaki this is an opportunity that may only come
perhaps once in a career,
an opportunity to win the Cruiserweight Championship.
Oh, no!
[Tazz] I think that's safe to say, the man's been here eight years.
It's his first time to get an opportunity at the title.
Well, it is his first and only chance to become cruiserweight champ.
[Michael] Spike whipped into the corner.
But there's a high elbow catching Funaki on the nose.
[Tazz] Well, what I like about Funaki, he earned this.
He won that battle royal this past Thursday on at SmackDown,
he earned it, and he just cut off to stop Spike--
[Michael] In trouble, the champion sent halfway across the ring.
[Tazz] Nice, nice, nice.
[Michael] Funaki dropkick to the face.
-Here's the cover… -[Tazz] Here we go.
[Michael] …hook through the leg,
may have it here, and a kickout.
[Tazz] That was close. Very smart.
Yeah, Funaki, veteran. Hits that low dropkick,
nailed it hard, a lot of impact, and then, bam, get yourself a cover.
[Michael] Oh. What a right hand.
[Tazz] Oh, my God, what a shot in the head that was.
Funaki is driven.
[Michael] He's in the zone here tonight.
The champion being battered and bruised.
[Tazz] Big time.
Twist that arm around the arm ringer there.
[Michael] Spike whipped into the corner, here comes Funaki,
-Funaki lands on the apron. -[Tazz] Oh.
[Michael] And a shoulder to the gut
and perhaps that may be the opening the champion needs.
[Tazz] Yeah, now Spike just wearing out that back of the head.
[Michael] Spike's such a veteran, when he gets one opening,
he could take advantage, but Funaki with the right hand.
[Tazz] Well, you're right, you're right, Cole.
But Funaki is coming back. Uh-oh.
[Michael] What is this?
-[Tazz] It doesn't look-- Wait. -[referee] Funaki!
[Michael] What is he gonna do?
[Tazz] Funaki, be careful here.
[Michael] Spike with shots to the ribs.
[Tazz] No, no, no, no, no, no.
[Michael] And Funaki, face first.
Spike Dudley taking advantage.
[Tazz] Well, Funaki went for high-risk and it backfired.
[Michael] Well, Funaki was game in this match-up,
but that may be the end of the challenger.
[Tazz] Yup, yup. That's right. Let's check this out.
Funaki, I think had in mind,
a vertical suplex off that second turnbuckle,
but Spike hung on to the ropes.
[Michael] And remember, that mat out there is paper thin.
[Tazz] Yeah. I mean, yeah, I wouldn't say paper, but it's thin.
It's not-- You know, it's about an inch thick, possibly.
It's a little mat. If you fall from that height,
you know, it's gonna hurt like hell.
You're not gonna be able to go to work the next day
and, you know, boxing oranges,
-or whatever people do. -[Michael] Referee on a count here.
Spike Dudley knocking Funaki off the apron.
And now Spike on the attack.
He, uh… great strategy there.
He gained himself, regained his composure.
[Tazz] Here we go, here we go.
[Michael] Spike quickly to the cover, hooks the leg,
Funaki kicks out at two.
[Tazz] Well, I'm a little-- I'm happy for Funaki, he kicked out.
-But-- Oh! -[Michael] And look at Spike
going right to work on that rib area,
injured when Funaki was pushed off that second rope to the floor below.
[Tazz] Now, Spike maintaining control here.
Got that underhook version, almost like guillotine.
[Michael] Sort of an abdominal stretch, so to speak.
[Tazz] Well, it… that's kind of like a guillotine
without using the legs from a… from a… from a vertical base.
Of course, you know about guillotines, you're chopping, uh,
people's head off left and right, you know, from a verbal standpoint.
[Michael] Me?
[Tazz] Yeah, you. [chuckles]
[Michael] Look at Spike as Funaki makes it back to the vertical base.
It looked like he was going for a snapmare there.
And he just gets Spike Dudley over.
[Tazz] A hip toss. Yes. He hit a hip toss.
[Michael] And there's a headbutt to the skull of Funaki.
What are you looking at?
[Tazz] You called it a snapmare, it's a hip toss.
[Michael] Funaki into the cover, may have-- And then a kickout.
It looked like he was going for a snapmare and then you cut me off.
[Tazz laughs] Oh, man.
[Michael] And look at Funaki again, may have the title won here, but no.
Spike Dudley just kicks out again, and again back on the assault.
[Tazz] And Spike is now just--
You could feel he's gonna just stay all over Funaki-- uh-oh.
What's this? An F-100? What is-- oh.
[Michael] Oh. And knee to the gut.
-This is could be it. -[Tazz] He got it, he got it.
[Michael] Hook to the leg and Funaki just managed barely…
-[Tazz] Yeah. -[Michael] …to kick-out.
[Tazz] Yeah. Yeah, nice gutbuster by Spike Dudley
on the abdomen of Funaki.
[Michael] And now with abdominal stretch.
[Tazz] Yeah, I think the end might be near for Funaki,
like I was saying earlier. And…
[Michael] Spike has worked that midsection
ever since Funaki tumbled from the second rope to the floor below.
[Tazz] And that thing, that abdominal stretch,
that overhook on that arm, is all the way wrenched backwards,
really separates your rib cage.
Intercostals, that's the little muscles in between the ribs.
I haven't seen mine in quite a while, but I know I have them there somewhere.
[Michael] I've got some rolls around my ribs.
And look at Spike, continues to hammer away with the right hands
and Funaki in a world of trouble.
Referee Jimmy Korderas asking Funaki if he's gonna give it up here.
[screams]
[Tazz] Well, does Funaki-- Well,
I mean, sometimes he does butcher the English language,
but he is the number one contender, and the elbow--
I mean number one announcer, SmackDown announcer.
The elbow was driven into the rib cage of Funaki there a moment ago.
[Michael] And Funaki with a reversal,
-big left hand to the gut of Spike Dudley… -[Tazz] Oh.
[Michael] …and a big blow to the back of the neck.
[Tazz] Spike is just keeping the offense on.
Sternum first into that top turnbuckle.
[Michael] Funaki lands-- Or I thought he landed on his feet,
but great balance anyway.
Spike Dudley placed up on the top rope.
What is the challenger doing here?
[Tazz] Well, he's got Spike right where he wants him,
in the tree of woe, he got him upside down.
Spike's in trouble.
[Michael] A viciousness coming out of Funaki here.
And Funaki goes on the attack at the champion.
[Tazz] Well, the championship's on the line and Spike's trying to get it.
Hey, get down off the ropes now.
[Tazz] You hear the ref telling Funaki it's illegal to get a five--
Well, count, ref. You got a five-count.
-[Michael] Well, what is-- -[Tazz] Spike's pulling himself.
-[Michael] Oh, my. -[Tazz] God almighty.
[Michael] Right to the ribs. And did you see Spike's head snap back?
[Tazz] Spike used some abdomen strength to sit up,
but then Funaki stomped on his abs.
[Michael] And Funaki now with a right hand,
and the challenger is starting to fire up here.
Funaki feels like he's in this game.
[Tazz] Yeah, Funaki throwing some haymakers.
-Whoa. -[Michael] Big back body drop.
[Tazz] And on his hip.
[Michael] Oh, big clothesline by Funaki as well.
[Tazz] Spike's in trouble.
[Michael] Whipped into the corner. Here comes Funaki.
-[Tazz] Oh. -[Michael] Bulldog, face-first goes Spike.
[Tazz] He got him.
[Michael] The challenger's got the champion in trouble.
[Michael] There's two, he might have it-- And no, at two and a half.
-Spike rolled his shoulder out. -[crowd booing]
[Tazz] People here in Atlanta feel like that might have been a three-count.
[Michael] It was close.
[Tazz] Close to gone, my friend.
[Michael] Funaki whipped off the ropes and--
Oh, and an enzuigiri,
caught Spike in the shoulder that time.
[Tazz] That hit him right in the shoulder area.
[Michael] Here's the cover again
Hooks the inside leg,
Spike Dudley again at two and a half,
just managed a near fall again for Funaki.
[Tazz] Well, he kicked out. I don't know what everybody is booing at.
In my opinion, the man did kick out.
What do you expect to happen here?
The guy's-- He don't wanna lose his championship.
[Michael] Reversal, Funaki into the corner, nobody home.
-Out to the apron goes Funaki… -[Tazz] Be careful.
[Michael] …and Funaki's gonna climb to the top rope here.
[Tazz] Careful Funaki, careful.
Watch out.
[Michael] Crossbody, lateral press, champ's down.
-[Tazz] One, two. -[Michael] May have him here-- No!
[crowd exclaims]
[Tazz] Man, Funaki still can't put him away.
[Michael] Three or four near falls for the challenger.
[Tazz] Now, once you mentioned the relentlessness,
the desire to be… stay champion, Spike Dudley.
[Michael] Well, how about the relentlessness and the desire
to be become champion by Funaki?
-And Spike Dudley blocked it. -[Tazz] Well, that-- Well, that too.
Why can't you just agree with my point?
[Michael] Elbow to the gut.
[Tazz] I can make a point too.
[Michael] Funaki to the second rope.
And a-- What a right hand.
[Tazz] Oh, man.
-[Michael] The champion… -[Tazz] What a shot.
-What a shot. -[Michael] …is in all kinds of trouble.
-[Tazz] Uh-oh, watch this. -[Michael] Funaki.
It looked like he was going for that Tornado DDT.
Spike Dudley countered, big shoulder to the gut.
[Tazz] Well, actually, head, Cole. I think he went head-first into the gut.
He's been working on those ribs of Funaki.
[Michael] Yeah, for the early part of the match-up.
[Tazz] Right, the abdominal stretch and whatnot.
[Michael] Going for the Dudley Dog.
-[Tazz] Almost, almost. -[Michael] And Funaki-- Oh, look at this.
Up over the top, Funaki rolls through…
-[Tazz] He got that! -[Michael] …he's got the shoulders down.
-[bell rings] -[Michael] He got it! He got it!
Funaki got it!
-Funaki wins the title. -["Dojo" playing]
-[Tazz] No way. -[announcer] Here is your winner,
and the new
Cruiserweight Champion of the World,
Funaki.
[Michael] Wait, I thought Spike was gonna kick out again.
[Tazz] I don't--
[Michael] Funaki is the Cruiserweight Champion.
-[Tazz] I don't believe this. -[Michael] This is unbelievable.
[Tazz] Funaki did it.
[Michael] Spike can't believe it.
Funaki wins the Cruiserweight title.
-All right. Congratulations, man. -Congratulations.
-[Tazz] Good job. -[Michael] Funaki wins the title.
[Tazz] Way to beat, Funaki.
[Michael] What a celebration.
[Tazz] He's so excited.
[speaking Spanish]
[Tazz, in English] I'm proud of the guy.
[Michael] Funaki wins the Cruiserweight Championship
here tonight at Armageddon.
Miracles do happen.
-[Tazz] What a-- I'll tell, he won. -You got lucky.
[Tazz] I told you it was there, right?
[Michael] What a three days it's been for Funaki.
First, he surprises everyone and wins the battle royal on SmackDown
and tonight he wins the Cruiserweight Championship.
[Tazz] He should… he should play the lottery, this guy.
[Michael] We saw Funaki win the Cruiserweight title.
Will that be duplicated?
In just a little bit, will we crown a new WWE Champion?
[Tazz] I don't know, Cole. The end has been near,
the end just happened for a lot of people
Will JBL… will his title reign end tonight? We'll find out.
[Michael] We're gonna find out in just a matter of moments.
["The End" continues playing]
[JBL] It is morning again in America. [laughs]
JBL is on a roll.
Booker T, Eddie Guerrero, and The Undertaker,
great, great champions.
The only problem is, they came along in the JBL era.
None of you three hoodlums will ever get a rematch
from JBL!
[Teddy] Hold on a minute, playas.
I have to agree with JBL.
Your individual title matches
have been denied.
For his next title match,
JBL will be facing all three of you.
[crowd cheering]
[Teddy] A Fatal 4-Way match
for the WWE Championship.
[Michael] JBL did not beat any of those three men fair and square.
He cheated to beat all three of them,
and now JBL is gonna have to pay the price.
["The End" playing]
[singer] ♪ You came to me ♪
♪ In a dream last night ♪
♪ You were standing ♪
♪ In a brilliant light ♪
♪ One minute here ♪
♪ But the next you were gone ♪
♪ The end is here ♪
♪ The game is over ♪
♪ No more pretending ♪
♪ No more ♪
♪ No more! ♪
♪ The end is here ♪
[Teddy] If any one of your Cabinet members
find themselves at ringside at Armageddon,
I will strip you of the WWE title right on the spot.
I am getting screwed.
[Tazz] The champion does not have to get pinned to lose his title.
Every man for himself.
[JBL] This is a sick, sick joke.
[Michael] Desperation in the eyes of the champion.
At Armageddon, the greatest WWE Champion of all time
could lose without even getting beat.
[singer] ♪ The end is here! ♪
[Doug] JBL,
you know, tonight, you're gonna go in there the champ
and you're gonna leave the champ.
Thanks, Doug.
Good luck.
[Danny] That's right, John…
what my brother just said.
Thanks, Danny.
[Amy] JBL?
Yeah?
No matter what, I'll still be your image consultant.
Thanks, Amy.
Hey, hey, Orlando.
You've been with me since beginning, brother.
Thank you.
[sighs]
[Orlando] John.
You've got this one, man.
[chuckles]
[JBL] Thanks, man.
[sighing]
[sighs]
[grunts]
[distant crowd cheering]
[bell rings]
["Longhorn" playing]
[Michael] Well, JBL's Cabinet seemingly forming
what looked like a condolence line at a wake.
[Tazz] Yeah. I feel for the champion, I'm sure you don't.
But I feel bad for JBL.
I mean…
I mean kudos for the Chief of Staff, Orlando Jordan,
going up, trying to pep him up the second time.
Yeah, pep up, JBL.
Man, I'll tell you what,
I don't like the champion's chances in this Fatal 4-Way, Cole.
I don't like it.
Look at this. Just… No limousine, nothing.
No big smile, no Cabinet members, nothing.
At least he's got the hat, he still got the title.
[Michael] But for how much longer?
[Tazz] I mean, you know, these SmackDown fans here,
I think I'd call them, like, vultures.
I mean, instead of chanting, like "JBL, JBL,"
they're, like, picking at, like, his bones,
like, picking the raw meat off his carcass. It's horrible.
[Michael] Maybe if the man treated people nicer.
[Tazz] What do you mean?
He shakes people's hands on the way to the ring,
you know, I'm sure he washes his hands with the disinfectant when he's done,
but, still, they got germs, but, no, he's nice to people.
He gives to charities, I think.
I don't know if that's true but, you know.
[bell rings]
[announcer] The following Fatal 4-Way match,
anything goes, the only way to win is by pinfall or submission,
and it is for the WWE Championship.
Approaching the ring from New York City,
weighing in at 297 pounds,
he's the WWE Champion,
John "Bradshaw" Layfield.
[Michael] That was perhaps the last introduction
of John "Bradshaw" Layfield as WWE Champion.
[Tazz] You might be right.
Bradshaw's Cabinet has been banned from ringside.
If they get involved, the title will be stripped.
And Bradshaw had a great run as champion, six months.
He survived just about everything. But--
[Tazz] So you've got him dead already?
[Michael] It could be time for a change here tonight.
[Tazz] So, you got him losing the match already, basically, right?
He shouldn't even have showed up.
-[Michael] I'm not betting on him. -[Tazz] It hasn't happened yet.
["Rap Sheet" playing]
[Michael] Will this be the next champion?
[announcer] Making his way to the ring, from Houston, Texas,
weighing in at 256 pounds,
Booker T.
[Tazz] It could be, Cole, he could be the next champion.
["Rap Sheet" continues playing]
[Michael] Booker T has had a tremendous amount of success
in his career here in Atlanta.
Can Booker T compel that success here tonight?
[Tazz] Well, Booker T has never been the WWE Champion.
-[Michael] No. -[Tazz] He's been a five-time
WCW Champion. That's for sure.
[Michael] Although Booker T should've won the title
at Survivor Series,
hence the reason he's involved in this match-up.
[Tazz] What do you mean should've?
[Michael] Well, Orlando Jordan screwed Booker T
-at Survivor Series. -[Tazz] Should've, would've,
could've, but didn't.
Should've, would've, could've, but didn't.
That was then, this is now.
Maybe I'll say this Fatal 4-Way,
Booker T, feelin' real confident.
Booker T might become the champ.
-He could be. He could do it. -["Viva La Raza" playing]
[Michael] And here's another man who was screwed out of the WWE title.
[announcer] From El Paso, Texas,
weighing in at 228 pounds,
Eddie Guerrero.
[Michael] Eddie Guerrero may be driving that lowrider
all around Atlanta tonight
with that WWE gold around his waist.
[Tazz] Well, a nice hood ornament.
Could be a nice hood ornament, that's for sure.
And, you know what, Cole, Eddie Guerrero has done it before.
Eddie has been WWE champ before.
He could damn well do it again.
[Michael] And he should've won it again over Bradshaw in a Steel Cage match
-back in the summer before Kurt Angle… -[Tazz] Oh.
[Michael] …screwed Eddie Guerrero that night.
[Tazz] Enough with the should've. Enough.
The car is bouncing up and down, though.
That's the-- Like an Impala, right?
[Michael] And you see JBL constantly holding that title
like it's a newborn baby that he doesn't wanna let go.
That's how much that title means to the champion
and perhaps he's holding it for the very last time.
[Tazz] Because the championship is so important to JBL,
it's what makes him.
It's the fabric which makes him the success he is.
[Michael] But it's as important to Booker T,
Eddie Guerrero, and The Undertaker as well.
Let's not forget that point.
It means you're the best at what you do.
[Tazz] I know that.
But they're not the champions.
JBL…
JBL is going into this match the champion.
[Michael] Referee Brian Hebner was just explaining to the champion again
the rules of this match-up.
All four men will be in the ring at the same time.
The first man to gain pinfall or submission in the ring is the champion.
However, anything goes in this match-up.
[Tazz] That's true, that's true.
Oh, look at JBL. Poor guy.
[Michael] Oh, poor JBL.
[Tazz] Well, at least if he loses the title,
you know, Amy Weber will still be his image consultant,
that's what she said.
[Michael] Well, that's good, I think.
[Tazz] Right? I mean, it's great to have her. But…
["Rest In Peace" playing]
[crowd cheering]
[announcer] And making his way to the ring from Death Valley,
weighing in at 305 pounds,
The Undertaker.
[Tazz] All of a sudden,
it's getting chilly and weird out here, Cole.
[Michael] Armageddon was appropriately named here tonight
because of this man's involvement.
["Rest In Peace" continues playing]
[Michael] We saw the champion JBL, Tazz, moments ago with his hand over his eyes.
The look of disgust in his face right there
and the reason for that
is, I believe, and many others do as well,
that Undertaker is the odds-on favorite in this match-up.
[Tazz] Oh, wait minute now, Cole, it could be anybody.
Now, we're going to sell Booker T short,
-JBL short? -[Michael] Not at all.
I didn't say that.
I said The Undertaker, he was the odds-on favorite.
[Tazz] No, you-- Well, you implied it. Isn't it? You implied it.
And I don't think that's the case.
With a one-on-one match, maybe, but not in a Fatal 4-Way.
No way. Anything goes, anything could happen,
anyone could pin anyone and anytime makes someone tap out.
Whoever gets the victory first,
you heard the strategy with Booker and Eddie,
I mean, they were working on that,
and then they got caught with their hand in the proverbial cookie jar when,
you know, Undertaker walked in.
If two of them get together
then they could take out Undertaker,
then they single out and go after Bradshaw.
Then Booker and Eddie gotta deal with each other.
-You get what I'm saying? -[Michael] Yes.
[Tazz] Thank you. Nice talking to you.
[Michael] It is a surreal scene here in Atlanta.
Perhaps no one in the history of the WWE
has commanded such respect,
has commanded such awe,
-has struck fear in the hearts of anyone. -[Tazz] Listen, listen.
Listen to these chants.
[crowd chanting] Taker! Taker! Taker!
[Tazz] "Taker" chant in the building, you can feel it.
[crowd cheering]
[Tazz] Oh, man.
[Michael] Just the presence of this man alone.
[Tazz] Well, more or less, with many of his opponents,
The Undertaker beats you before he even gets in the ring with you
with a psychological head game.
[Michael] And we've talked about The Undertaker.
We've talked about those mind games that he plays,
and here tonight trying to play another one.
[Tazz] Look at… look at Undertaker's face.
Look at those eyes.
Eddie's pointing to Booker.
[Michael] No, he's pointing to the champion.
[Tazz] He's saying, "It was Booker's idea."
[Michael] I think…
["Rest In Peace" continues playing]
[Michael] You see, referee Brian Hebner just said…
I'm listening in on a conversation here.
The referee just said to Bradshaw, "It's not my fault."
"I didn't… I didn't setup this match-up."
"But you gotta come into this match-up and start this thing.""
And now the referee explaining to The Undertaker that--
Or I should say to JBL,
that the champion does not have to be involved
in the decision to lose the title.
No.
This isn't fair.
[Tazz] He's right. JBL is right.
He said "It's not fair." And he's correct. It's not fair.
Then again, sometimes life's not fair,
and then, sometimes the end is near for you
and you lose the championship.
[Michael] And this match-up was setup by the general manager, Theodore Long.
And look at Bradshaw,
he does not wanna part with the championship gold.
[Tazz] He loves that. He loves that title.
[Michael] The champion does not wanna relinquish the title,
but he has to.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what it's all about.
The biggest prize in this business.
[Tazz] That could've been the last time that JBL's lips
touch that championship.
I know that sounds weird, but you get my point.
[Michael] The "Taker" chants begin.
Remember, all four men in the ring at the same time.
The champion does not have to be involved in the decision.
Anything goes, pinfall or submission, must take place inside the ring.
-[bell rings] -[Michael] And here we go.
And the champion wants none of it.
[Tazz] Well, that's his strategy.
[Michael] Strategy?
[Tazz] I don't know. It's just--
[Booker] Get your ass in here.
[Michael] And the champion is saying,
"You guys beat each other and then I'll get in."
And Undertaker starting things off, going to work on Booker T.
[Tazz] Well, Undertaker remembers what was said earlier--
-[Michael] Oh, and a big boot. -[Tazz] Oh, my God.
Oh, man.
[Michael] Well, think about what the champions do with Bradshaw.
Maybe these guys will wear each other out.
Now going into the ring, like Bradshaw's doing now,
and trying to pick up the carcasses.
-Here's the cover by Bradshaw. -[Tazz] Come on, ref, ref, ref, ref.
[Michael] Referee. But look at the cover here.
[Tazz] Where the hell is the-- Hebner!
[Michael] Eddie pinned him into the corner.
Here's the cover.
Unbelievable, Bradshaw may have had that thing won.
[Tazz] You think?
Come on, Ray Charles could've saw that.
Are you kidding me, Cole? He had him pinned.
Get off!
[Tazz] He had him in a pin.
[Michael] Uh-oh. Brought your joke books tonight, I see.
And look at The Undertaker is stalking the champion.
[Tazz] Yeah, big time.
[Michael] Oh, look out from behind.
And this is what the Fatal 4-Way is all about.
There is no way to run and hide.
[Tazz] Well, anything goes. Remember that, anything goes.
Tornado style, no tagging, no nothing. It's just…
Throw it all out the window, man, pinfalls--
[Michael] Uh-oh. Champion better turn around.
Uh, caught between a rock and a hard place?
[Tazz] Yeah. Champion's cornered
in the middle of the ring which kind of sounds weird,
but it-- Yeah, well, you're better than that.
[Michael] And Booker T with the right hand.
Eddie Guerrero as well.
Undertaker gets involved.
[Tazz] Oh, my God. It's like a pinball here.
[Michael] All three of these men despise the champion.
-[Tazz] Oh. -[Michael] Oh, what an uppercut.
[Tazz] God Almighty.
[Michael] Eddie with a big uppercut as well.
[Tazz] JBL is in trouble, man.
-Oh. -[Michael] Back kick.
The question is, who's gonna go for a cover?
[Tazz] No Cabinet members, banned from ringside,
we pointed out at the beginning of the match. JBL
-[Michael] Oh. -[Tazz] JBL flying solo.
[Michael] I'll tell you, one of these men
gonna have an early Christmas present here tonight,
walking out as the WWE Champion.
[Tazz] Now, Undertaker all over JBL here.
And look at that Guerrero and Booker just let him do it.
[Michael] Oh, and a big elbow knocking the champ down again.
-Here's the cover. -[Tazz] You gotta break that up.
-Come on. -[Michael] Shoulders down,
and both men breaking it up.
So, Tazz, as we see what happened there, what is the-- Oh, look at this.
They're double-teaming The Undertaker.
[Tazz] That's what they talked about. They said that.
[Michael] Eddie and Booker T trying to wear The Undertaker down.
Take him out of the equation.
[Tazz] The fans are booing them, they have the right to do what they want,
but not for nothing, you can't blame them.
This guy could be--
The Undertaker be the man to be victorious,
he could be the favorite here.
[Michael] Undertaker off the rope, look out, double elbows.
-He's going down. Yeah! -[shouts indistinctly]
[Michael] Now, Undertaker's down.
[Tazz] And they're working as a unit, Cole,
Booker and Guerrero working as a cohesive unit.
[Michael] Well, they talked about it, they've gotta take
-The Undertaker out of the equation. -[Tazz] Look at this.
[Michael] And a right hand by Eddie Guerrero.
And Booker T with a clubbing blow.
[Tazz] JBL maybe found himself a little spot somewhere… [chuckles]
-…to chill. -[Michael] Oh, now to the knee
goes Eddie Guerrero and Undertaker trying to battle back
but Eddie Guerrero picking the knee and going to work.
[Tazz] That's smart. Smart by Latino Heat.
Work on that knee so Undertaker is not as big as everyone.
Okay. Look at-- Look at-- Look at JBL. Smart.
[Michael] We got the champion over by us.
The Undertaker knocked out of the ring.
Booker T out after The Undertaker as well.
Remember, anything goes, but a pinfall or submission
must take place inside the ring.
[Tazz] That's correct, my friend.
-And-- Oh! What a shot there. -[Michael] Oh.
Booker T trying to incapacitate The Undertaker here.
Booker doing a good job of it, to make it a three-men match-up.
And look at it, from behind, Bradshaw snuck up on Eddie Guerrero.
[Tazz] Oh, what's wrong with that? Anything goes, right?
[Michael] You're right. And the champion doing all he can to win the title.
I should say keep the title.
And look at that, off the suplex.
-Here, flips into the cover. -[Tazz] Whoa, ref.
[Michael] Two-count and Eddie kicks out.
[Tazz] Booker T, gotta try and watch to pick up those covers there.
Uh-oh. They're working together, Cole, Booker and Guerrero.
[Michael] Well, they've teamed together in the past.
This has been great strategy.
-Oh, what a dropkick. -[Tazz] Oh, man, oh, man.
[Michael] So, it looks like Eddie and Booker
-trying to take out Undertaker and JBL… -[Tazz] Duh.
[Michael] …and then leave it to a one-on-one match-up for the title.
[Tazz] Well, I'll tell you what, my man?
That's what they said they were gonna do,
they being Guerrero and Booker, and they're doing it.
[Michael] Oh, big double team knocking Bradshaw down
as Undertaker wearily makes it back into the ring.
Well, I thought he was in the ring.
And Booker T knocked him off the apron again.
[Tazz] Booker T great with his legs and that kick was phenomenal.
Hold his ass up.
[Michael] It's been great--
[Tazz] Eddie Guerrero playing ring leader here.
[Michael] It's been great strategy.
[Tazz] I'm shocked that they're doing this.
[Michael] Look at this, side slam to the champion.
-Viva la Raza! -[crowd cheering]
[Tazz] Guerrero.
-[Michael] Eddie over the top rope. -[Tazz] Hilo.
[Michael] There's that Hilo right into the sternum.
[Tazz] That's vintage Eddie Guerrero, there, ladies and gentlemen.
[Michael] And again, Undertaker try to get back into the ring
and Booker T cut him off with a pass.
[Michael] Here's the cover and Booker T says, "No, not now."
[Tazz] Oh, wait a minute. Wait. This is not part of the deal.
That's not part of the game plan.
Supposed to work together.
[Michael] It's every man for himself, don't forget that.
What the hell was that?
[crowd chattering]
-[Michael] Booker T-- Look at Bradshaw. -[Tazz] Cover, cover.
[Michael] Booker T and Eddie made sure the three-count doesn't happen there.
[Tazz] Booker was perplexed.
I was surprised Guerrero did that, but-- Uh-oh.
[Michael] Undertaker back in the ring, headbutt.
-Now going after the two men… -[Tazz] Oh, my God.
[Michael] …that took him out.
[Tazz] Oh, yeah, Undertaker now really focused on Booker.
Booker dropped him twice off that apron.
[Michael] Kicks to the midsection by The Undertaker.
Bradshaw whipped across the ring,
-in trouble. -[Tazz] My God.
[Michael] Wow. And a big side slam that rocked the ring.
-[Tazz] Here we go. -[Michael] Here's the cover,
shoulders down, Eddie Guerrero breaks up the three-count,
but paid for it.
[Tazz] Whoa.
[Michael] Eddie taken out.
And now Undertaker goes to work on Booker T.
-Oh, DDT. -[Tazz] Oh, my God. Face first.
-[Michael] Here's the cover. -[Tazz] Undertaker's the--
[Michael] Nobody can stop this here but Bradshaw.
[Tazz] Oh, man, the champ,
what ring savvy, and the presence,
the mad sense of JBL.
[Michael] Here's the cover by a desperate champion
and a right hand by The Undertaker.
[Tazz] What do you mean desperate? Undertaker…
I'm sorry. JBL picking up the scraps right there,
taking the damage, JBL goes for the cover.
[Michael] It's desperation time for the champion.
The champion must be involved in the pinfall or submission
to retain his title
but he does not have to be in the pinfall or submission
to lose his title.
[Tazz] Very important. Well, right up in front of the announce tables here.
-[Michael] Look out now. -[Tazz] Look at this now.
[Michael] Bradshaw bounced off the steel steps.
[Tazz] Face first right there goes Bradshaw.
Oh, man. What a shot to the ribs.
[Michael] And a straight right hand by The Undertaker.
[Tazz] Got to… got to watch the soup bones…
-[Michael] Oh. -[Tazz] …of The Undertaker.
[Michael] Look at, from behind.
Eddie Guerrero from behind, grabbing The Undertaker.
On the back of The Undertaker is Eddie Guerrero.
[Tazz] Guerrero-- Now Booker T, right down here.
[Michael] Hammering away on the champion is Booker T.
It's the Fatal 4-Way match for the WWE Championship.
-Eddie Guerrero taken down. -[Tazz] Oh, man.
[Michael] Booker T with a kick to the gut.
[Tazz] What a shot. I thought it was to the chest, Cole.
What a kick there.
[Michael] And what an elbow by The Undertaker, a high elbow.
Booker T sent into the crowd.
[Tazz] Oh, man.
[crowd cheering]
-[Tazz] Uh-oh. -[Michael] The Undertaker in control.
[Tazz] The Deadman's focused here.
[Michael] Oh, look at Bradshaw, thumb to the eye right in front of us
and bounces The Undertaker's skull
-off the steel steps. And look out. -[Tazz] Watch out, watch out, watch out.
-I don't wanna be anywhere near this. -[Tazz] No, sir.
Anything goes, ladies and gentlemen.
[Michael] Bradshaw ripping apart the announce table
right here in front of us.
-What the hell is Bradshaw gonna do here? -[Tazz] Watch out.
Bad intentions on JBL's mind, Cole, bad intentions.
[Michael] Oh, my.
-[Tazz] Jesus. -[Michael] Big back body drop.
[Tazz] Undertaker, outstanding counter.
Outstanding counter.
[Michael] A big back body drop to Bradshaw.
[crowd chattering]
[Michael] And now Undertaker continuous the assault.
[Tazz] Back in the ring now.
[Michael] Back into the ring, Undertaker and Eddie Guerrero.
[Tazz] And Eddie Guerrero trying to slow down The Deadman.
[Michael] JBL and Booker T, they're right outside the ring.
It's really a two-men fight right now.
Undertaker and Eddie Guerrero battling it out.
The right hands by The Undertaker
and a referee hightails it.
[Tazz] Can't blame the referee for bailing.
Guerrero getting shot in by The Deadman.
-[Michael] Look at this. Big back… -[Tazz] Yeah, man.
-[Michael] …body drop by The Undertaker. -[Tazz] Yeah.
Good God. What a height on that back drop.
[Michael] And look at Undertaker
into the cover.
-Shoulders are down. Taker-- -[Tazz] He's got it.
[Michael] And Eddie Guerrero grabbed the bottom rope.
[crowd chattering]
[Tazz] Undertaker can't believe it.
But Guerrero had the wherewithal to grab that ring. Knew where he was
in the ring. Oh, nice.
[Michael] Elbow to the gut by The Undertaker.
And Booker T now suffering the wrath of The Deadman.
Well, Undertaker is focused here.
[Tazz] Undertaker is moving.
[Michael] Oh, my God, caught up on the top rope.
Undertaker looked away for a split second at JBL,
and Booker T took advantage of the distraction.
[Tazz] Now, JBL slid under the bottom rope into the ring.
[Michael] Now, JBL trying to take advantage.
There's a swinging neckbreaker of Booker T.
-Champion into the cover. -[Tazz] He's got it.
[Michael] Hook to the leg, there's one, there's two
and a kickout by Booker T.
[Tazz] What a valiant champion, trying his best.
-[Michael] Trying his best? -[Tazz] He's giving 115%.
[Michael] Well, he is. But all four men are.
[Tazz] What a shot there in the back of Booker T.
[Michael] Clubbing blow to the back of the head.
Now, JBL and Booker T going at it in the ring.
JBL is starting to fire up.
A new fierceness has come over the champion.
[Tazz] Big time.
-[Michael] Here's the cover again. -[Tazz] Oh, he got it.
[Michael] Hook to the leg, Eddie Guerrero breaks up the three-count.
That's what this Fatal 4-Way is all about, saving your title chances.
[Tazz] Brings out the best in all these men.
Nice headbutt there by The Undertaker.
[Michael] JBL down, Booker T down, Eddie Guerrero down,
Undertaker still on his feet.
[Tazz] Carnage, just bodies everywhere here.
[Michael] And a straight right hand.
[Tazz] Now, who do you give the edge to, Cole?
-I mean, who-- -[Michael] Right now, The Undertaker.
He has total control of this match-up.
[Tazz] Oh, yeah. I get that but otherwise the match--
[Michael] Oh, what an elbow.
[Tazz] Match has been topsy-turvy, going every which way but loose.
[Michael] That's what this Fatal 4-Ways are all about.
[Tazz] I got it, I got it.
[Michael] Tornado style, pinfall must take place in the ring
or submission, anything goes.
This is completely legal, ladies and gentlemen.
-Oh, God. -Come on, Taker. Let's go. Come on.
Come on. What do you say?
What do you say?
No, no, no.
[Tazz] And you hear the screams of Guerrero there. Pain.
[Michael] And Undertaker doesn't realize who's behind him and that's Booker T.
[Tazz] Guerrero… How much was taken out of Guerrero
getting choke out with that rope there.
[Michael] Now, Booker T begins the assault on The Undertaker.
The champion still rolling around outside the ring.
[Tazz] You know what, Cole, at what point does fatigue take place
on one of these athletes, on one of these SmackDown superstars.
These guys, these men, are just going at it full tilt, full throttle.
Fatigue's gotta take effect soon.
[Michael] It's all about the WWE Championship.
It's about reaching deep down inside and realizing your dreams,
realizing your roles on a national stage here tonight in Armageddon.
That's what's it all about.
-And look at this. -[Tazz] Whoa.
[Michael] Undertaker with a spinebuster, with authority.
[Tazz] That Undertaker might be the favorite,
but it doesn't mean he's gonna win the championship, though.
[Michael] Knee to the gut. Undertaker now goes after Booker T,
Eddie knocked down with that knee in the corner.
-Uh-oh. -[crowd cheering]
[Michael] Here we go.
[Tazz] A little Old School, Cole. A little Old School.
[Michael] Undertaker to the second rope.
[Tazz] Watch Eddie, watch Eddie.
[Michael] And Eddie Guerrero caught a boot by The Undertaker.
What balance, by The Undertaker, to pull that off,
[Tazz] Got those long legs and great balance.
You're right. Here we go.
[Michael] Perhaps two times the charm.
[Tazz] Guerrero is down. JBL nowhere in sight.
Look at the balance here. Ballet.
[Michael] Vintage Undertaker.
And now a right hand to Eddie Guerrero
and The Undertaker has been dominating,
like I believed he would, in this match-up.
[Tazz] Booker T's in trouble, left alone with The Deadman.
-[Michael] And look at this. -[Tazz] We've seen this.
[Michael] Face first goes Booker T.
And he just hit the nail in the head. He's left alone.
Here's the cover, there's one,
and Eddie Guerrero had to wherewithal to break up the three-count.
[Tazz] Eddie came out of nowhere like a bat out of hell.
[Michael] And now Eddie, back on the attack of The Undertaker,
backing The Undertaker into the corner.
This is right hands by Latino Heat
who can throw them with the best of him.
[Tazz] Don't want to let that temper flare.
That's why, hence Latino Heat, you know what I'm saying?
-[Michael] Uh-oh. -[Tazz] Oh, my God.
[Michael] Uh-oh. Look at the strength…
-[Tazz] Oh, my God. -[Michael] …of The Undertaker.
-[Tazz] Oh, my God. -[Michael] Eddie Guerrero
tossed over the top rope.
[Tazz] Did you see the power exemplified by Taker?
[Michael] Oh, I don't blame Eddie.
Hey, wait, wait.
[Michael] You can't blame Eddie Guerrero as well.
Undertaker has been in a… on a different playing field,
a different level here tonight.
[Tazz] Uh-oh. Eddie now, we've seen Taker do this.
Watch, Eddie. Watch this elbow.
[Michael] Oh.
[Tazz] See that time and time again from The Deadman.
He drags his opponent across the apron.
[Michael] Now, watch this.
If Undertaker connects here this is vintage Undertaker.
Right out of The Undertaker's playbook.
-[Tazz] Oh, my God. -[Michael] Three-hundred-pound leg drop
-across the throat. -[Tazz] If Taker could get--
[Michael] And Bradshaw with a clothesline.
[Tazz] Out of nowhere.
[Michael] Taking out The Undertaker.
But again, you have to have the pinfall or submission inside the ring.
[Tazz] But I'll tell you what, Taker got his clock cleaned, man.
[Michael] And suddenly, the champion is in control…
-[Tazz] Oh, no. -[Michael] …as Booker T
goes into the steel steps.
Check out this clothesline, Tazz.
Watch the impact. Feel at home.
[Tazz] Look at that.
Running right through The Deadman.
That's vicious right there.
[Michael] But suddenly the champion is in control of this match-up.
[Tazz] Whoa, whoa, what do you mean suddenly? He's smart.
[Michael] And here's the cover.
Nobody can save Booker T but himself.
Two.
[Tazz] Just imagine what the Cabinet's thinking,
they're gonna be so proud-- Uh-oh.
[Michael] And now JBL taking that tape off.
-[Tazz] It's legal. All legal. -[Michael] This is totally legal.
JBL with that tape
and he's gonna choke Booker T here.
Totally legal. If Booker T passes out, Bradshaw could win this thing.
-What do you say? -Oh, no.
[Tazz] Ref's checking, going for the choke out.
And if it goes…
[Michael] JBL's got it locked in here.
He's got that tape
right across the throat of Booker T who's fading.
[Tazz] Big time faded.
[Michael] Great strategy by the champion.
[Tazz] Remember, this is right after, moments ago,
Undertaker had major league offense all over Booker T,
and now he's getting choked out with that tape by the champion.
[Michael] Booker T is starting to fade.
Booker T down on his knees, his legs are kicking.
[Tazz] Whoa, whoa, whoa, what's this?
[Michael] Eddie with a ladder?
[Tazz] Well, any… anything… and you said anything goes, right?
-I didn't expect the ladder, Cole. -[Michael] I didn't either.
[Tazz chuckles]
[Michael] Booker T trying to make it back to his feet here.
-Oh. -[Tazz] Oh.
-[Michael] Right off the skull… -[Tazz] Oh, my God.
[Michael] …of The Undertaker with that ladder.
[Tazz] Oh, my God.
-Taker got nailed. -[Michael] And now Bradshaw on the attack.
[Tazz] Here we go, here we go.
[Michael] Booker T off the rope, big elbow by the champion.
[Tazz] No doubt, no doubt, high and tight elbow, JBL.
[Michael] Now where is he going?
[Tazz] He can go wherever the hell he wants.
[Michael] He's got that championship gold in his hands.
[Tazz] Well, it's legal and that title's still his.
[Michael] And there's that heel kick to the jaw.
[Tazz] Oh, my God, Cole, he nailed him.
[Michael] And what the-- Eddie as well. Eddie is knocked down.
Now, it's Booker T's turn.
[Tazz] Oh. What a fight this is.
[Michael] Undertaker over the top rope.
Booker T.
-There goes the champion. -[Tazz] What a clothesline.
Booker's on fire.
[Michael] Scissors Kick. Booker's gonna do it.
Booker's gonna do it here.
[Tazz] Booker is the new champ.
[Michael] Booker, get him Booker.
[Tazz] Booker's gonna get it, Cole.
[Michael] Booker into the cover.
-[Tazz] One. Two. -[Michael] Here's hook to the leg.
He's got it. Eddie kicked out. Eddie kicked out.
[Tazz] No, he didn't kick out. Did he?
-Oh, my God. -[Michael] He did, at two and a half.
[Tazz] Oh, my God. That was close.
[Michael] Booker T thought he was the new champion.
[crowd chanting]
-[Tazz] Wow. -[Michael] A half-second away.
[Tazz] What a flurry by The Bookman.
Eddie chants now.
[Michael] This crowd in a frenzy here in Atlanta.
Now, Booker T takes his fire and fury to JBL,
but from behind, The Undertaker.
[Tazz] Whoa, whoa, whoa, watch out.
[Michael] But Booker T with a kick.
[Tazz] Oh, man.
[Michael] Booker T… and another thumb to the eyes
and bounced off the steel steps, Booker T.
[Tazz] Right out in front of us here, heads up, Cole.
[Michael] And currently the champion's in control again.
Oh, what the hell is this?
-[Michael] Not this. And-- -[Tazz] Oh, my God.
Booker T tried to block that.
-[Michael] And an elbow. -[Tazz] Oh, jeez.
[Michael] An elbow by the champion
throwing Booker T through that table,
an elbow by the champion.
[Tazz] What power, with that elbow.
The powerbomb to get it done,
followed up by a strong elbow.
Oh, my God.
[Michael] Booker T driven through the table by the champion.
[Tazz] Anything goes.
[Michael] And now The Undertaker with the right hands.
You see JBL was holding that right arm, perhaps did some damage.
[Tazz] Uh-oh, uh-oh, Cole.
[Michael] And now, what?
[Tazz] You don't have to be a genius to figure this out.
[Michael] Oh, my God.
Undertaker. Look at the look in his eyes.
-[Tazz] Uh-oh. -[Michael] Oh, my God.
[Tazz] Uh-oh.
[Michael] Oh, my God.
[Tazz] Someone's gonna fall now, Cole.
Oh, my God. Cole, look at this.
[Michael] The Last Ride through the table.
The end is near for the champion.
[Tazz] Wow.
Wow, wow, wow.
[Michael] But remember, the pinfall or submission
must take place inside the ring.
Undertaker has gotta get one of these fallen men
into the ring to win the title.
[Tazz] You got Booker T down through a table.
You got JBL down through a table.
But don't forget--
Don't forget Eddie in the ring.
[Michael] Look at Eddie Guerrero.
[Tazz] Did Taker forget about him? I don't know. Uh-oh.
[Michael] And Eddie-- Eddie's playing a game.
[Tazz] Eddie's playing possum.
-Uh-oh. -[Michael] And I think Undertaker,
not realizing what Eddie just did,
-Undertaker may go… -[Tazz] Oh, yeah.
[Michael] …for what he believes is the easiest way to win this match-up.
[Tazz] Well, Undertaker thinks Eddie Guerrero is easy pickings right now.
[Michael] Eddie is the only one in the ring.
Why drag the other two guys in when you can win the thing right here?
That's The Undertaker's thought.
[Tazz] Be careful, Deadman.
[Michael] Undertaker doesn't realize that Eddie is playing possum.
[Tazz] He has no clue.
-What's this? -[Michael] Eddie Guerrero up top.
Eddie Guerrero slides behind The Undertaker.
-[Tazz] What the hell? -[Michael] Eddie Guerrero--
-[Tazz] Oh. It didn't work, Cole. -[crowd cheering]
[Michael] The possum's in a trap.
A big trap.
-[Tazz] Now, what goes up… -[Michael] Chokeslam.
[Tazz] …must come down.
[Michael] The Undertaker moments away
from becoming WWE Champion.
[Tazz] We've been saying it all night,
"The end is near."
The beginning is just about to happen for the new WWE Champion
and that is gonna be The Undertaker.
[Michael] For all intents and purposes,
The Undertaker has dominated this match from the get-go.
[Tazz] Guerrero just got chokeslammed.
-[Michael] Oh, wait a minute. -[Tazz] What? What?
-[Michael] Wait minute. -[Tazz] What?
[Michael] Undertaker setting Eddie Guerrero up.
-[Tazz] Last Ride -[Michael] Whoa.
Eddie had the championship
and clubbed it off the skull of The Undertaker.
[Tazz] Where the hell did he get it from?
He's lying, cheating, and stealing his way to the title maybe.
[Michael] And now, Eddie Guerrero. Eddie is gonna win this thing.
[Tazz] He sure is, Cole.
I thought it was Taker.
[Michael] Frog Splash.
Eddie Guerrero hits the Frog Splash and he's gonna go for another one.
Eddie Guerrero onto the top rope again.
[Tazz] Goodbye, Taker.
-[Michael] Double Frog Splash. -[Tazz] Taker's done.
-One, two. -[Michael] Eddie's gonna win the title
again, and Undertaker kicked out.
How the hell did he kick out? And he sat up.
[crowd cheering]
[Tazz] Uh-oh.
[Michael] I can't believe The Undertaker sat up
after two Frog Splashes, Tazz.
[Tazz] Did Eddie give it his best shot? I don't know.
-[Michael] Uh-oh. -[Tazz] Oh, my God.
[Michael] Oh, and a low blow.
-[Tazz] All legal. -[Michael] Completely legal.
[Tazz] Yeah. Anything goes, man.
[Michael] And now Eddie is grabbing that ladder.
What the hell is Eddie gonna do with the ladder?
[Tazz] Something bad.
[Michael] Into the gut. Into the ribs of The Undertaker.
[Tazz] That will slow him down. That's for damn sure.
[Michael] And now, Eddie's…
What is going on here?
[Tazz] He's got the ladder, Cole.
[Michael] And this is all legal. Anything goes.
[Tazz] God Almighty, what a shot to the head with that ladder.
[Michael] I'll tell you, has Eddie Guerrero
been game here tonight or what?
[Tazz] I guess he has.
It shows how important the WWE Championship is to this men.
Anyone of these competitors can leave Atlanta tonight
and leave on again the WWE Champ.
It looks like Latino Heat…
[Michael] I'll tell you what, I mean, unlike Raw,
we're gonna have a champion when we leave here tonight
as Eddie Guerrero heads up to the top of this ladder.
[crowd chanting] Eddie! Eddie! Eddie!
[Tazz] Oh, if he comes off it here,
we got a new champion, my friend.
[Michael] What is Eddie gonna do from the--
[Tazz] He's gonna do a Frog Splash.
[Michael] From the top of the ladder.
A Frog Splash may have busted ribs…
-[Tazz] Cover. -[Michael] …on The Undertaker.
[Tazz] You gotta cover him, Eddie.
Eddie might have hurt his knee, Cole.
That's damn near about 15 feet up.
[Michael] But Eddie is gotta suck it up here,
and get into that cover. Eddie's gotta crawl to that cover.
-Come on, Eddie. Just get to him, Eddie. -[Tazz] Just put it all.
-Just put it all on him. -[Michael] Eddie.
[Tazz] Taker's down.
[Michael] Eddie Guerrero rolls into the cover.
-[Tazz] One, two. -[Michael] There's one, there's two--
-And the damn champion-- -[Tazz] What the hell?
[Michael] And the damn champion,
right in front of us, just swept the referee.
[Tazz] No disqualification. Anything goes.
Eddie Guerrero… Eddie Guerrero, by intents and purposes,
by all Grace should be the champion, Cole.
[Michael] But the champion, you saw it, Tazz,
two feet in front of us, the champion grabbed the referee
and yanked him out of the ring.
He pulled me out of there. Let's go.
[Tazz] Wow. Not for nothing man, how smart.
What a match, though. What a match.
[Michael] Oh, my God. You believe--
unbelievable match.
[Tazz] Amazing. Oh, man-- Uh-oh, watch out.
[Michael] Again, with the ladder in his hand
-off the skull of The Undertaker. -[Tazz] Oh, God. Wow.
[Michael] Driving The Deadman over the top rope,
and suddenly, Latino Heat is in total control.
[Tazz] Eddie Guerrero's got that ladder on the corner.
He might wanna do a dive or something off of there.
-We don't know. -[Michael] Wait, the champion.
-Bradshaw skull first off the ladder. -[Tazz] Oh.
Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Look at this.
[Michael] Oh, here we go.
Can Eddie connect?
Can Eddie pull off the Three Amigos, Tazz?
[Tazz] Three Amigos displayed in the match.
[Michael] He's doing it.
[Tazz] There's two. What condition Eddie's in.
Oh, my God.
[Michael] Eddie got it. The Three Amigos, for Eddie Guerrero. Into the cover.
-Here we go. There's two. -[Tazz] Oh, my God. He's got it.
[Michael] And now it's Booker T…
-[Tazz] Wow. Oh, man. -[Michael] …who breaks up the three-count.
[Tazz] Unbelievable.
Outstanding, impressive match-up here for the championship.
[Michael] But, Tazz, now suddenly it's Booker T who's in control.
Who the hell is gonna win this thing?
[Tazz] I-- Before, I thought it was Taker, then I thought it was Eddie, this is it.
[Michael] Oh, the Scissors Kick.
-[Tazz] Booker, Booker T. -[Michael] Booker T's gonna do it.
-[Tazz] Booker's gonna win. -[Michael] Booker's gonna win the title.
And pin the champion in the process.
-[Tazz] One. Two. -[Michael] Here's the cover.
And it's Undertaker to break up the three-count.
How much does this title mean
to this four superstars leaving their guts,
their heart, their soul in the middle of this ring?
[Tazz] Putting their careers on the line from a physical standpoint.
All four of these athletes
busted their ass in here for this championship.
Outstanding match-up.
[Michael] Undertaker pulling Eddie back into the ring.
And a headbutt, and another one,
and The Undertaker becoming vicious in this point of the match-up.
[Tazz] Guerrero is hurting here. Look at this.
He's got-- Oh, oh, oh.
[Michael] Oh. Eddie off the turnbuckle.
Check it out. You're ready to roll some dice?
-[Tazz] Maybe. -[Michael] Snake eyes.
[Tazz] Oh, my God. Oh, watch out.
[Michael] Big boot.
And now, it's The Undertaker rolling.
[Tazz] New champ coming, bro.
New champ coming.
-Wow. -[Michael] Drop of the leg.
Here's the cover by The Undertaker.
-[Tazz] Taker, Taker. -[Michael] Shoulders down again
and Booker T pulled him off the cover.
[Tazz] How is this thing-- Or better yet, when?
How is this gonna end?
[Michael] No clue.
I don't know who is in-- Who's the favorite right now?
[Tazz] I thought the end was near about five or six times, a long time ago.
[Michael] Uh-oh. Well, the end may be near for Booker T.
Booker T, Chokeslam by The Undertaker.
[Tazz] Watch out, Eddie.
Oh, no. Oh, no.
[Michael] Another Chokeslam.
-[Tazz] Uh-oh. -[Michael] And the champion.
[crowd cheering]
[Tazz] He's got him, Cole. JBL, hat trick on The Undertaker.
[crowd cheering]
[Michael] The Undertaker says it's over.
[Tazz] Here it is.
[Michael] The Undertaker says it's over right here, right now.
[Tazz] And JBL is being hunted down now by The Deadman.
-[Michael] And the champion. -[Tazz] Booker's down.
Booker's down, Eddie's down.
[Michael] Going for the Tombstone, wait a minute.
[Tazz] What the hell-- What the?
-It's-- -[Michael] It's Heidenreich.
[Tazz] Where the hell he come from?
[Michael] Heidenreich attacking The Undertaker.
[Tazz] What the hell?
[Michael] This loony bitch just got out of the psych ward
a couple of days ago.
[Tazz] He said that he didn't wanna come back
and he didn't wanna spend the--
Wait a minute, what the hell is--
[Michael] Heidenreich assaulting The Undertaker.
[Tazz] Anything goes. And it's not like the man is banned, like…
-Oh, my. -[Michael] Oh, my, what a spinning slam.
[referee] Get out of here. Let's go.
[Tazz] Heidenreich.
-[Michael] I cannot believe this. -[Tazz] I forgot all about him. I--
[Michael] Heidenreich from out of nowhere…
-[Tazz] He's not-- -[Michael] …screwed The Undertaker.
[Tazz] He's not supposed to be in this match.
[Michael] And look at JBL.
-[Tazz] Uh-oh. -[Michael] JBL crawling
towards a downed Booker T.
-[Tazz] Uh-oh. -[Michael] Here's the cover.
[Tazz] He's gonna do it, Cole. He's gonna win this thing.
-[Michael] The-- Oh, Booker got out of it. -[Tazz] No, no, no.
Booker kicked out.
[Tazz] I can't believe this.
[Michael] Booker T at two and a half, kicked out.
And now Bradshaw going to Eddie Guerrero.
-Here's the cover. He's got it here. -[Tazz] He's got Eddie. He's got it.
[Michael] And a kickout.
[Tazz] Oh, my God.
[JBL] No.
[Tazz] What does JBL have to do?
[Michael] JBL screaming.
Can't believe it.
And now the champion…
[Tazz] Cover The Undertaker.
-[Michael] Oh, not now. -[Tazz] Maybe not.
[Michael] The Deadman just sat up.
And now Heidenreich grabbed The Undertaker.
[Tazz] You gotta be kidding me.
[Michael] Somebody get rid of this damn guy.
-And now a Full Nelson. -[Tazz] No, it's got a Cobra Clutch--
[Michael] Yeah, a Cobra Clutch, you're right.
And here's the cover.
-[Tazz] And here's JBL. -[Michael] Hook to the leg.
-Damn it. -[Tazz] Oh.
-[bell rings] -[Michael] Damn it. Damn it.
[Tazz] Clothesline from Hell.
["Longhorn" playing]
-[announcer] Here is your winner… -[Tazz] Wow.
[announcer] …and still WWE Champion,
John "Bradshaw" Layfield.
[Michael] You have gotta be kidding me.
[Tazz] I can't-- I don't know how in the holy high hell,
JBL is leaving this arena, leaving this city.
He's going through the people. He's got a hell lot to dodge.
[Michael] For the second time in three months,
Heidenreich screwed The Undertaker out of the championship.
[Tazz] You're not kidding. I don't-- I'm shocked to see Heidenreich.
But let's give a little credit to JBL here, Cole.
Come on. We all--
-Yeah, I understand. -[Michael] He's a survivor.
-He's a survivor. -[Tazz] Wow.
[Michael] I'll give you that. JBL is a survivor.
[Tazz] Undertaker's shocked.
[Michael] The Undertaker cannot believe what happened here.
[Tazz] He knows what happened, Cole.
He might not believe it, and I feel sorry for Mr. Heidenreich.
-[Michael] Watch Heidenreich… -[Tazz] Look at this.
[Michael] …pulling The Undertaker out.
And then he would lock in the Cobra Clutch.
And watch JBL's Clothesline from Hell.
[Tazz] Yeah, out of nowhere.
I think Booker T glanced over at Heidenreich
choking out The Undertaker.
And then for JBL, time is everything in life, my friend,
and the Clothesline from Hell on Booker…
-[Michael] But I'm telling you… -[Tazz] JBL, he's Atlanta champion.
[Michael] …what an effort by Eddie Guerrero,
Booker T, The Undertaker, and the champion.
The end may have been near tonight in Armageddon for the champion,
but in fact, it may be just the beginning
of a long title reign for JBL.
Thanks for joining us.
Goodnight from Atlanta.
[crowd cheering] lanta.