WEBVTT

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Welcome to <i>India's Got Latent.</i>

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Are we ready to start the show?

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We have a banger panel for you.

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It's the wildest panel so far.

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Make some noise for Tanmay Bhat!

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Raghu Ram.

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Vishal Dadlani.

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And Yashraj.

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Please have a seat, guys.

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Wait, stay there for a minute.

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Amazing!

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Today, we're starting the show
exactly on time.

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Because artists usually need time
to get their hair and makeup done.

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Welcome to the show!

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Raghu <i>bhai </i>is here, man.
Round of applause for Raghu Ram!

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Raghu <i>bhai,</i> how has life been
since last year?

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Life has been good.
You can ask the cyber police.

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They're keeping tabs on me.
Thanks to you, fucker.

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<i>Bhai,</i> even after that,
you still came here.

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That just shows how desperate you are.

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Yeah.

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But, Raghu <i>bhai,</i>
thank you so much for coming.

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Despite whatever happened last season.

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I'm ready for round two. Let's go.

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Let's go!

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Let's go!

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Round of applause for Vishal Dadlani
as well, guys.

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Vishal Dadlani is a singer, songwriter,
activist, and so many things.

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Recently, he started doing paragliding.

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Yeah. Have you seen
his paragliding videos?

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At least check out some of his content.

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Sometimes, when he paraglides at night,
people break their fast.

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But, Vishal sir, how are you feeling?

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I feel good, man. Crowd looks good.
Energy looks good.

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Your foolery…

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Your foolery continues.

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So… amazing!

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We also have Tanmay Bhat here.
Come on!

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Tanmay Bhat is here to do
what Tanmay Bhat does best.

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Watch other people be funny.

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But, Tanmay <i>bhai,</i> you're looking so good.

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- You've lost a lot of weight.
- Thanks, bro.

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- I'm on a special diet.
- What?

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I only eat when Yashraj
makes a hit song. So…

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No, actually, Yashraj--

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Recently, he featured in Forbes Under 30.

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- Yes. Yes.
- Oh!

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Forbes Under 30 Listeners list.

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- But, Tanmay <i>bhai,</i> you look really good.
- Fuck you, man.

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No, I-- We'll come to that later, okay?

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Tanmay <i>bhai,</i> I mean it.
You're looking so good.

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Tanmay <i>bhai</i> gave me some
really good advice during <i>Comicstaan.</i>

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He said, "There are no shortcuts in life."

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And then he took Ozempic.

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Say whatever you want, dude.

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Once you have a case against you,
you'll call me.

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Keep saying what you want.

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I love you. Genuinely, thank you
so much for being there.

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He's the first guy I call

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whenever something happens
because I know he won't be busy.

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And…

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He'll just be at his home, laughing.

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And, friends, this season we're doing
something very charitable.

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We're inviting Yashraj…

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Hey, dickhead!

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But apart from that,

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if you're watching from home and
want to subscribe-- As you should.

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But if you want to do something good,
you can donate to Teach For India,

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which is a nationwide movement working
to ensure every child in India

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gets an excellent education.

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This is the QR code.

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Help India become more educated.

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And that's something we genuinely do
from the heart in every episode.

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Should we begin <i>India's Got Latent?</i>

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Make some noise for the first act.

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Ankit Sharma.

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Ladies and gentlemen.

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Oh!

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I've blended Math

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- and a maiden into a poem.
- Wow.

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- Wow! Maiden!
- And-- Yeah, maiden.

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<i>Her words were as puzzling</i>
<i>As sin theta and cos theta</i>

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"Her words were as puzzling
as sin theta and cos theta."

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<i>Her words were as puzzling</i>
<i>As sin theta and cos theta</i>

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<i>Every word she spoke</i>
<i>I cherished like alpha, gamma…</i>

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<i>- Beta!</i>
<i>- Beta!</i>

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<i>I don't know when, in idle conversation</i>
<i>She slipped to me one revelation</i>

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<i>I don't know when, in idle conversation</i>
<i>She slipped to me one revelation</i>

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<i>I sank beneath the square root sign</i>
<i>She raised a cube before my eyes</i>

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<i>Yet I stayed with "two times two is four"</i>

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<i>While she became "two twos are four"</i>

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<i>I tried to hold her with brackets tight</i>
<i>Yet somehow she slipped from sight</i>

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<i>Who knows where she learned that art?</i>

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<i>Which school had schooled</i>
<i>Her clever heart?</i>

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<i>She taught me plus and minus first</i>

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<i>Then left like trigonometry</i>
<i>Forgotten at its worst</i>

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<i>One day I tried multiply and divide</i>
<i>Sat beside her, patient, with pride</i>

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<i>But caught in the maze</i>
<i>Of place value's claim</i>

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<i>Nothing I said to her remained</i>

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<i>It was such a simple tale, I swore</i>

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<i>I explained it gently, nothing more</i>

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<i>I said, "Look, nothing's tough!"</i>

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<i>Yet I managed to muddle it enough</i>
<i>I recited the table of eleven instead</i>

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<i>Eleven ones are eleven</i>
<i>Eleven twos are twenty-two</i>

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<i>Eleven threes are thirty-three</i>
<i>Eleven fours are forty-four</i>

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<i>I'm ready for eleven fives are fifty-five</i>

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<i>Eleven sixes are sixty-six</i>

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<i>- Never came alive…</i>
- What the actual fuck!

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- Go on.
<i>- But she stood firm at</i>

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<i>Eleven sevens are seventy-seven</i>

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Present, ma'am.

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<i>She excused herself with</i>
<i>Eleven eights are eighty-eight</i>

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<i>Called eleven nines are ninety-nine</i>
<i>The hand of fate</i>

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<i>At eleven tens are one hundred ten</i>
<i>She drew the line</i>

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<i>Leaving me tangled like Pythagoras…</i>

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Can I order the end of this poem
on Amazon Minutes?

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- Yes. He just keeps going.
- It's Flipkart, man!

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- Flipkart Minutes!
- You got the sponsor wrong.

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- Flipkart Minutes.
- Did you say Amazon?

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- What the…
- Sorry, sorry!

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- Let me say it again.
- Son of a…

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- Laugh!
- Son of a…

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Laugh, asshole!

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Can I order the end of this poem
of Flipkart Minutes?

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Would you like to hear something else?

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- No, don't.
- No! Please!

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- May I recite something else?
- No, bro.

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- Tell a small poem. Something quick.
- Right…

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Asshole! Why are you
encouraging him again?

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- Urging him to go on!
- I'm just--

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I'm thinking about the edit, assholes.

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Tell us a quick poem.

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Say something like…

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<i>I look like Alakh Pandey</i>
<i>Shut the fuck up, I say!</i>

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Something simple like this.

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Come on, man.

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Something short and sweet.

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<i>In praise of their own beauty</i>

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<i>- They wore their pride too high</i>
- Wow.

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<i>And in the neighborhood of the faithless</i>

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<i>- They were the most renowned by far</i>
- Wow.

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<i>When I asked why my heart was slain</i>
<i>They had just one reply</i>

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<i>"I had no choice"</i>

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<i>"I had no choice"</i>

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<i>- "I had no choice"</i>
- Amazing.

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- Nice.
- Can I say one too?

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Yes.

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<i>Twigs on twigs, and twigs on twigs</i>
<i>A horse stood high where the branch-top is</i>

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- Wow.
<i>- I've heard enough of your poetry</i>

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<i>Now get lost, you prick!</i>

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The poetry didn't land
with the comedy audience.

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No, that's not true.

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That's not it. It would've bombed
even with a poetry audience.

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Oh, man!

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- Forgive me.
- What the hell! This guy…

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This man cries while judging
performances on<i> Indian Idol.</i>

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I was all set to cry today as well.

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Because his damn poetry just kept going.

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His math poetry has me
fucking crying today!

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Tell us about your "ejaculatio praecox."

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- That is--
- What is that?

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Premature ejaculation, bro.

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That happened to you?

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Yes, I have been struggling with it
for some time now.

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- I just…
- This is more interesting, bro.

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Is this true?

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- Yes.
- He has written it here!

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How could I have known otherwise?

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Tell us more about it. Come on.

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- Details.
- It just happened.

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- I just want to point out--
- Sir, this is--

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This is called a short story.

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The thing that ends in no time.
That's it.

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- Tell us.
- That's the best approach for your poems.

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No, tell us about
your premature ejaculation.

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Yes. Tanmay <i>bhai </i>also suffers from it.
He can help you.

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I've had this problem for a while now.

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- Recite!
- I have been--

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I've tried every remedy and every
concoction, but nothing helps.

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Wow!

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Have you seen a doctor about this?

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No.

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So you came here to share it with us?

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- What do you think…
- He just said, "No."

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- Why not?
- Do you think

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you'll get any sympathy from them?

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I don't want their sympathy.

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Then why are you telling them about it?

00:08:38.440 --> 00:08:39.679 align:center
Because they asked.

00:08:39.960 --> 00:08:41.919 align:center
The question didn't just spawn
in our heads.

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"Tell us about your
premature ejaculation."

00:08:43.679 --> 00:08:45.160 align:center
- I wrote it.
- You've written it here!

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You've also written,
"I live in depression a lot."

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Are you kidding,
or are you really depressed?

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Brother, sometimes I…

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- I mean…
- You came to the wrong place, bro.

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- You came to the wrong people.
- Bro, I'm here

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- for you.
- Don't expect therapy here.

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No, I just--

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This will give you a reason
to go to therapy.

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Bro, I empathize with you.

00:09:04.360 --> 00:09:06.320 align:center
I don't want it. I'm just saying--

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Just hear me out.

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All I'm saying is…

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Come on, just hear me out.

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Go to hell!

00:09:13.920 --> 00:09:16.240 align:center
- There's no--
- Take your empathy and shove it!

00:09:16.320 --> 00:09:18.240 align:center
- There's no place for kindness anymore.
- No, no.

00:09:18.320 --> 00:09:20.840 align:center
I sometimes feel that I'm depressed.

00:09:21.080 --> 00:09:24.680 align:center
Then it feels like everything's fine.
I don't have any problems.

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Then again, I feel like

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- nothing is working out.
- That's called post-nut clarity.

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You get one every 30 seconds.

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Wow!

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You've written that you
want to be a genie.

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Yes.

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- Why? So that someone rubs your lamp?
- No.

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His genie comes out
after 30 seconds of rubbing.

00:09:46.240 --> 00:09:48.000 align:center
Why do you want to be a genie?

00:09:49.640 --> 00:09:51.000 align:center
- So that--
- You can't rub his lamp too hard,

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or he'll leave.

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Rubbing too hard.

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He's the first genie
to have a wish of his own!

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- "Cure my premature ejaculation."
- Exactly.

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Don't rub it too hard, bro.

00:10:03.240 --> 00:10:04.480 align:center
I can't handle it.

00:10:06.320 --> 00:10:07.960 align:center
Why do you want to be a genie?

00:10:08.520 --> 00:10:10.280 align:center
So that I can heal
my premature ejaculation.

00:10:11.440 --> 00:10:12.840 align:center
Then go see a doctor.

00:10:13.440 --> 00:10:14.960 align:center
Why do you want to be a genie?

00:10:17.000 --> 00:10:19.520 align:center
Actually, it's my fault.
I brought the show back.

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If you had a genie
to grant you three wishes,

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your first would be
to cure your condition.

00:10:27.880 --> 00:10:28.760 align:center
What would your second wish be?

00:10:29.200 --> 00:10:33.080 align:center
I'd wish for a music producer
to produce the songs I want to make.

00:10:34.280 --> 00:10:37.040 align:center
So you want to cure
your premature ejaculation

00:10:37.520 --> 00:10:38.840 align:center
and then see a music producer?

00:10:39.720 --> 00:10:40.600 align:center
To make songs.

00:10:40.800 --> 00:10:43.360 align:center
Just ask him.
Vishal <i>bhai,</i> give him a song.

00:10:44.000 --> 00:10:45.320 align:center
I can't do that now.

00:10:45.720 --> 00:10:47.720 align:center
I can't look him in the eye now.

00:10:47.800 --> 00:10:49.160 align:center
Vishal and Shaker.

00:10:56.600 --> 00:10:59.160 align:center
This act began with a poem.
Does anyone remember?

00:11:01.000 --> 00:11:02.960 align:center
- Imagine!
- Is there a doctor here?

00:11:04.200 --> 00:11:06.200 align:center
- Any doctors in the audience?
- What do you think of your audience?

00:11:06.280 --> 00:11:08.080 align:center
- Oh, there's actually one!
- There's one.

00:11:08.160 --> 00:11:10.120 align:center
- Right in the front row.
- Come on up, brother.

00:11:10.600 --> 00:11:11.440 align:center
Doctor.

00:11:14.000 --> 00:11:15.880 align:center
- Yeah!
- Come on, we'll treat you.

00:11:15.960 --> 00:11:16.840 align:center
Okay?

00:11:16.960 --> 00:11:18.800 align:center
Wait a second.
What kind of doctor are you?

00:11:18.880 --> 00:11:20.680 align:center
An orthopedist is of no use in this case.

00:11:21.120 --> 00:11:22.760 align:center
- A doctor should know everything.
- Hello, hello.

00:11:23.080 --> 00:11:24.080 align:center
- Sir…
- Doctor, come here.

00:11:25.200 --> 00:11:27.120 align:center
- Sir, basically, I am--
- It's him. He's the patient.

00:11:28.240 --> 00:11:29.480 align:center
He will need treatment later.

00:11:30.280 --> 00:11:31.640 align:center
Bring a chair for the doctor.

00:11:34.120 --> 00:11:35.520 align:center
Doctor, please sit.

00:11:37.320 --> 00:11:38.160 align:center
Yes.

00:11:38.600 --> 00:11:40.080 align:center
A patient doesn't get so close.

00:11:40.800 --> 00:11:42.000 align:center
Step back, Mr. Patient.

00:11:42.480 --> 00:11:45.040 align:center
Doctor, you have a customer here
to see you.

00:11:46.200 --> 00:11:47.880 align:center
- Please send him in.
- Patient!

00:11:47.960 --> 00:11:49.280 align:center
- Oh, patient. Sorry.
- Patient, man.

00:11:49.360 --> 00:11:50.640 align:center
Let's try again. Sorry.

00:11:50.720 --> 00:11:51.720 align:center
I was from the paper leak batch.

00:11:56.440 --> 00:11:57.960 align:center
Wait outside. You're the patient.

00:11:58.760 --> 00:12:01.160 align:center
Doctor, there is a patient
waiting outside.

00:12:01.320 --> 00:12:03.120 align:center
- Yes, please send him inside.
- Okay.

00:12:05.160 --> 00:12:06.040 align:center
Come inside.

00:12:06.320 --> 00:12:07.480 align:center
But not like that.

00:12:13.080 --> 00:12:14.000 align:center
Ask the question.

00:12:14.560 --> 00:12:16.160 align:center
- What's wrong?
- Who is the doctor here, me or you?

00:12:16.560 --> 00:12:17.880 align:center
Imagine this is your training.

00:12:18.120 --> 00:12:20.520 align:center
- You haven't done anything yet, right?
- No, I'm done with my internship.

00:12:20.600 --> 00:12:21.440 align:center
- Okay.
- You're done as well?

00:12:21.520 --> 00:12:22.680 align:center
- No, internship.
- So--

00:12:22.880 --> 00:12:24.280 align:center
- Internship.
- He's done with his internship!

00:12:27.800 --> 00:12:29.160 align:center
- Come on, Ankit!
- Doctor.

00:12:29.600 --> 00:12:32.160 align:center
Genuinely, imagine this is
your training session.

00:12:32.240 --> 00:12:33.960 align:center
He actually has premature ejaculation.

00:12:34.200 --> 00:12:35.080 align:center
Solve his problem.

00:12:35.960 --> 00:12:37.520 align:center
- So you--
- Easy, brother!

00:12:37.760 --> 00:12:38.840 align:center
Sorry.

00:12:40.040 --> 00:12:42.160 align:center
Have you undergone
any checkups or tests?

00:12:42.240 --> 00:12:44.040 align:center
The problem is hard to miss, you know?

00:12:44.120 --> 00:12:45.480 align:center
- But--
- Where should I go to get it checked?

00:12:45.560 --> 00:12:48.480 align:center
Once you get it checked,
you'll know, based on your anatomy,

00:12:48.680 --> 00:12:50.320 align:center
what the issue is with your organ,

00:12:50.600 --> 00:12:53.680 align:center
especially where sperm matures.

00:12:53.920 --> 00:12:56.920 align:center
And the path or route of ejaculation--

00:12:57.000 --> 00:12:58.840 align:center
Sir, I'll have finished
three times by then.

00:13:02.680 --> 00:13:03.880 align:center
I'm begging you.

00:13:05.360 --> 00:13:06.600 align:center
Let it be.

00:13:08.040 --> 00:13:09.200 align:center
Let me go, sir.

00:13:13.200 --> 00:13:14.480 align:center
Not working.

00:13:14.560 --> 00:13:16.560 align:center
- Hey!
- It worked!

00:13:17.120 --> 00:13:18.040 align:center
It worked.

00:13:22.600 --> 00:13:24.560 align:center
Premature ejaculation on stage!

00:13:25.520 --> 00:13:27.680 align:center
A huge round of applause for Ankit Sharma.

00:13:28.200 --> 00:13:29.080 align:center
Thank you.

00:13:31.200 --> 00:13:33.240 align:center
I give you nine out of ten, bro.

00:13:34.120 --> 00:13:35.040 align:center
Thank you, sir.

00:13:36.440 --> 00:13:40.880 align:center
Ankit, your act was fine,
but you were on fire.

00:13:41.680 --> 00:13:42.560 align:center
Eight out of ten.

00:13:43.360 --> 00:13:45.440 align:center
- Thank you, sir.
- Seriously. That's a lot.

00:13:46.160 --> 00:13:47.280 align:center
I gave you nine.

00:13:48.080 --> 00:13:50.480 align:center
Okay, me too.
I give you nine as well, sir.

00:13:50.560 --> 00:13:52.120 align:center
- Thank you, sir.
- It was fun. I want you to win.

00:13:52.520 --> 00:13:54.760 align:center
I gave you eight. Eight.

00:13:55.400 --> 00:13:58.320 align:center
That makes your average 8.5.

00:13:58.960 --> 00:13:59.960 align:center
Oh, Doctor!

00:14:01.160 --> 00:14:03.640 align:center
- Nine! No!
- Oh, no!

00:14:03.960 --> 00:14:05.080 align:center
Shit!

00:14:05.320 --> 00:14:07.000 align:center
You always miss by this much.

00:14:07.480 --> 00:14:09.040 align:center
Oh, man!

00:14:09.920 --> 00:14:12.040 align:center
- Thank you so much for joining, Ankit.
- Thank you.

00:14:18.440 --> 00:14:20.360 align:center
He's whispering to him that
he has the same problem.

00:14:23.960 --> 00:14:26.280 align:center
- And… 30 seconds.
- Ankit <i>bhai,</i> genuinely.

00:14:26.360 --> 00:14:28.360 align:center
- Yeah!
- What you shared with us today,

00:14:28.440 --> 00:14:29.920 align:center
I don't know if it is true or not.
Is it true?

00:14:30.000 --> 00:14:30.840 align:center
- Yes.
- It's true?

00:14:30.920 --> 00:14:32.440 align:center
It takes a lot of guts to talk about it.

00:14:32.520 --> 00:14:33.720 align:center
- And make people laugh with it.
- Yes, sir!

00:14:33.800 --> 00:14:34.880 align:center
Huge respect, man!

00:14:35.680 --> 00:14:36.560 align:center
I respect you.

00:14:40.960 --> 00:14:42.520 align:center
I just have a request for you.

00:14:43.240 --> 00:14:45.200 align:center
Can I please hug you?

00:14:45.280 --> 00:14:46.600 align:center
Of course, my brother!

00:14:49.240 --> 00:14:51.040 align:center
Why do I feel something wet down there?

00:14:54.960 --> 00:14:58.040 align:center
Make some noise for the next act,
Vishal Pathak!

00:15:04.040 --> 00:15:06.160 align:center
I think Vishal's gonna crush it!

00:15:06.240 --> 00:15:08.600 align:center
- Look at the attitude!
- Oh, boy!

00:15:15.640 --> 00:15:16.960 align:center
The only Vishal here with hair.

00:15:41.760 --> 00:15:43.800 align:center
What's up with the soft music?

00:15:49.720 --> 00:15:52.120 align:center
- Come on, come on!
- Yeah! Come on!

00:15:54.120 --> 00:15:55.000 align:center
Hey!

00:16:05.840 --> 00:16:06.760 align:center
Come on, brother!

00:16:19.640 --> 00:16:21.360 align:center
Unbelievable! Come on!

00:16:22.640 --> 00:16:24.040 align:center
- Good one!
- Come on!

00:16:32.520 --> 00:16:34.200 align:center
- Incredible!
- Fucking brilliant!

00:16:34.280 --> 00:16:35.840 align:center
Vishal, well done, man.

00:16:35.920 --> 00:16:37.200 align:center
Thank you so much, sir.

00:16:37.480 --> 00:16:39.440 align:center
We really wanted a talented Vishal here.

00:16:39.520 --> 00:16:41.080 align:center
- Yes!
- Congratulations to you.

00:16:51.680 --> 00:16:53.040 align:center
That's excellent, Vishal Pathak <i>ji.</i>

00:16:53.160 --> 00:16:54.560 align:center
Where are you from?

00:16:55.280 --> 00:16:57.880 align:center
Delhi. From Shahdara,
the land of goons.

00:16:58.080 --> 00:17:00.040 align:center
The land of goons! Wow!

00:17:00.320 --> 00:17:01.760 align:center
Shahdara?

00:17:01.840 --> 00:17:03.200 align:center
Vishal <i>ji,</i> what do you do?

00:17:03.480 --> 00:17:05.920 align:center
I create content, and it blows up too.

00:17:06.599 --> 00:17:09.079 align:center
- A full-time content--
- One of my videos hit 32 million views.

00:17:10.119 --> 00:17:13.280 align:center
And with that,
I gained 74 thousand followers.

00:17:13.359 --> 00:17:15.200 align:center
You sit here.
Yashraj will handle the skipping.

00:17:23.160 --> 00:17:26.040 align:center
To be honest, Samay <i>bhai,</i>
you're very handsome.

00:17:26.119 --> 00:17:27.040 align:center
In person.

00:17:28.720 --> 00:17:30.960 align:center
You look bigger in videos.

00:17:32.080 --> 00:17:33.320 align:center
Total stud!

00:17:34.960 --> 00:17:35.840 align:center
You know…

00:17:38.840 --> 00:17:39.720 align:center
Too good.

00:17:39.840 --> 00:17:41.800 align:center
Do you have any advice for Tanmay Bhat?

00:17:41.880 --> 00:17:43.320 align:center
He's trying to get in shape too.

00:17:43.760 --> 00:17:46.480 align:center
No, he's already changed so much.
He's in great shape now.

00:17:46.560 --> 00:17:47.520 align:center
Thank you, man.

00:17:47.760 --> 00:17:48.720 align:center
Thank you.

00:17:49.320 --> 00:17:50.880 align:center
Do you know the guy sitting over there?

00:17:51.000 --> 00:17:53.000 align:center
I swear, I don't know who he is.

00:18:02.640 --> 00:18:04.720 align:center
- Sorry, but I looked--
- That's alright, man.

00:18:04.800 --> 00:18:05.880 align:center
- It's okay.
- I looked you up.

00:18:05.960 --> 00:18:08.440 align:center
- Yeah, just listen to all my songs.
- I'll listen to all your songs.

00:18:08.520 --> 00:18:11.120 align:center
- Thank you, brother.
- Don't worry. We skip his songs too.

00:18:13.240 --> 00:18:16.320 align:center
It says here that the hardest skill
in the world is making money.

00:18:16.640 --> 00:18:18.760 align:center
It's a jump rope skill
called "Money Maker."

00:18:18.840 --> 00:18:21.000 align:center
The skill is called "Money Maker."
It's not about making money.

00:18:21.680 --> 00:18:24.520 align:center
You've got it wrong.
It's called the "Money Maker."

00:18:24.600 --> 00:18:27.640 align:center
Oh! So, there's a skill
called "Money Maker."

00:18:27.720 --> 00:18:28.640 align:center
- What is that?
- I…

00:18:28.720 --> 00:18:32.280 align:center
I'm the only one in the world
who has mastered that skill.

00:18:32.360 --> 00:18:33.760 align:center
- What is that skill? Could you show us?
- Money Maker.

00:18:33.840 --> 00:18:34.960 align:center
- Money Maker.
- Yes. Let me try.

00:18:35.040 --> 00:18:37.000 align:center
- I've got the Money Maker skill too.
- Yeah.

00:18:37.080 --> 00:18:38.680 align:center
On Flipkart Minutes…

00:18:39.800 --> 00:18:41.560 align:center
you can get Avvatar Protein delivered

00:18:42.080 --> 00:18:43.240 align:center
within 12 minutes.

00:18:44.760 --> 00:18:46.520 align:center
- Incredible.
- Money has been made.

00:18:47.560 --> 00:18:49.200 align:center
- Now show us what you got.
- Okay.

00:18:49.960 --> 00:18:50.840 align:center
Let me try.

00:18:52.280 --> 00:18:55.880 align:center
So, you're the only person in the world
who can do what you're about to do?

00:18:55.960 --> 00:18:57.280 align:center
- Yeah.
- Come on, brother.

00:18:57.800 --> 00:18:59.000 align:center
Money Maker skill.

00:19:02.040 --> 00:19:04.160 align:center
Okay, I get it! I get it!

00:19:04.240 --> 00:19:05.600 align:center
- One more time?
- But, brother,

00:19:05.680 --> 00:19:07.320 align:center
- be careful.
- Brother, don't try it again.

00:19:09.720 --> 00:19:11.960 align:center
- Avvatar Protein! Let's go!
- Yeah!

00:19:13.760 --> 00:19:16.200 align:center
If you still flop, this will be
edited out. Don't worry.

00:19:16.960 --> 00:19:18.800 align:center
Don't screw this up now, bro.

00:19:19.400 --> 00:19:21.200 align:center
Why are you making him do it again?

00:19:21.280 --> 00:19:24.120 align:center
- Don't screw this up. My money--
- Vishal! Vishal!

00:19:24.200 --> 00:19:27.760 align:center
- Vishal! Vishal! Vishal!
- Vishal! Vishal! Vishal!

00:19:27.840 --> 00:19:30.200 align:center
Vishal! Vishal! Vishal!

00:19:35.040 --> 00:19:36.360 align:center
Let's go!

00:19:38.400 --> 00:19:39.920 align:center
Avvatar Protein!

00:19:46.680 --> 00:19:50.280 align:center
This is all thanks to Avvatar Protein.

00:19:51.600 --> 00:19:52.640 align:center
Sellout!

00:19:53.720 --> 00:19:54.560 align:center
Thank you.

00:19:55.040 --> 00:19:56.600 align:center
Truly a money-making skill.

00:19:57.720 --> 00:19:58.720 align:center
Wow! Incredible!

00:19:58.800 --> 00:20:01.680 align:center
Thank you so much for supporting me.
That was fun.

00:20:01.760 --> 00:20:02.760 align:center
- Same to you.
- Thank you.

00:20:02.840 --> 00:20:04.600 align:center
- Same to you.
- Yes.

00:20:06.840 --> 00:20:08.400 align:center
That was fucking amazing.

00:20:09.080 --> 00:20:12.400 align:center
So, Vishal <i>ji,</i> don't you think
your name is a joke on you?

00:20:19.120 --> 00:20:20.800 align:center
I used to think that when I was younger.

00:20:21.840 --> 00:20:22.800 align:center
And literally…

00:20:23.600 --> 00:20:25.720 align:center
I used to get so mad when people said,

00:20:25.800 --> 00:20:28.240 align:center
"Your name's Vishal,
but you're anything but tall."

00:20:28.320 --> 00:20:29.440 align:center
"Your name doesn't fit you."

00:20:30.360 --> 00:20:33.120 align:center
But now, I've got the skills
and the medals to prove it.

00:20:33.200 --> 00:20:34.760 align:center
Today, I finally stand tall.

00:20:34.840 --> 00:20:36.720 align:center
Yeah, yeah, yeah!

00:20:39.000 --> 00:20:41.000 align:center
Can no one else in the world do
what you did?

00:20:41.120 --> 00:20:44.240 align:center
The actual Money Maker
is even more difficult.

00:20:44.320 --> 00:20:46.120 align:center
It's when I land on one arm.

00:20:47.000 --> 00:20:50.720 align:center
Just imagine supporting
your entire body weight on one arm.

00:20:51.080 --> 00:20:53.680 align:center
I mean, you could even die.

00:20:53.760 --> 00:20:54.800 align:center
Oh, man!

00:20:55.080 --> 00:20:56.560 align:center
- Do you want to try it?
- No, no.

00:20:56.640 --> 00:20:57.920 align:center
Sorry, sorry, sorry.

00:20:58.600 --> 00:20:59.440 align:center
I…

00:20:59.520 --> 00:21:02.080 align:center
Not even Avvatar can save me this time.

00:21:04.240 --> 00:21:05.720 align:center
But tell me something.
It says here that

00:21:05.800 --> 00:21:09.280 align:center
you've never been beaten up,
but you've always

00:21:09.360 --> 00:21:11.160 align:center
- beaten up other people.
- I have.

00:21:11.240 --> 00:21:13.520 align:center
- Is that true? You never got beaten up?
- I swear.

00:21:13.600 --> 00:21:15.880 align:center
I swear, I have only
beaten up other people.

00:21:15.960 --> 00:21:17.920 align:center
Tell me, do you fight with kids?

00:21:18.000 --> 00:21:18.880 align:center
No.

00:21:18.960 --> 00:21:21.320 align:center
Who the fuck are you beating up then?
The boys from Shahdara?

00:21:21.400 --> 00:21:24.880 align:center
I'll tell you. I switched from
a government school to a private school.

00:21:24.960 --> 00:21:27.440 align:center
- In the fourth grade.
- Yeah, well, you can thrash them.

00:21:27.520 --> 00:21:30.200 align:center
Yeah. So, there was this one student

00:21:30.280 --> 00:21:33.040 align:center
at the private school who was six feet
tall, and everyone called him "Baapu."

00:21:33.120 --> 00:21:34.400 align:center
He was dangerous.

00:21:34.640 --> 00:21:36.760 align:center
But I was from a government school.

00:21:37.080 --> 00:21:38.920 align:center
He kept mocking me,
calling me short and all that.

00:21:39.000 --> 00:21:41.840 align:center
I climbed onto the desk
and smacked the shit out of him.

00:21:41.920 --> 00:21:43.760 align:center
- So he-- Yeah!
- Climbed onto the desk and smacked

00:21:43.840 --> 00:21:44.680 align:center
the shit out of him!

00:21:44.760 --> 00:21:46.240 align:center
The next day, his father came to school.

00:21:46.320 --> 00:21:48.920 align:center
- You slapped Baapu…
- Yes.

00:21:49.000 --> 00:21:51.440 align:center
but he didn't offer you the other cheek?

00:21:57.760 --> 00:21:59.640 align:center
No, he was scared shitless just from that.

00:22:01.160 --> 00:22:02.080 align:center
And what happened next?

00:22:02.160 --> 00:22:03.880 align:center
The next day,
he brought his dad to school.

00:22:03.960 --> 00:22:05.640 align:center
- Baapu brought his <i>baapu</i> to school?!
- Baapu's <i>baapu.</i>

00:22:05.720 --> 00:22:07.600 align:center
He said, "You wuss, he beat you up?"

00:22:08.480 --> 00:22:09.800 align:center
- "Unbelievable."
- And then?

00:22:09.880 --> 00:22:11.120 align:center
He took his kid and left.

00:22:12.040 --> 00:22:13.360 align:center
- Didn't he thrash you?
- No.

00:22:13.440 --> 00:22:15.760 align:center
Even the teachers said,
"Oh, he won't hit you. Come, sit."

00:22:16.080 --> 00:22:17.640 align:center
I've roughed up my fair share.

00:22:18.240 --> 00:22:20.960 align:center
Do you know that violence
and hurting people is wrong?

00:22:21.040 --> 00:22:24.560 align:center
People will take inspiration from you
and follow your example. Is that right?

00:22:24.640 --> 00:22:26.520 align:center
Do you think it's right to bully others?

00:22:26.600 --> 00:22:27.560 align:center
I was bullied.

00:22:35.240 --> 00:22:38.200 align:center
Let's go!

00:22:38.280 --> 00:22:39.520 align:center
- Hey, Vishal!
- Let's go!

00:22:39.600 --> 00:22:40.680 align:center
Oh, man!

00:22:43.200 --> 00:22:44.720 align:center
Vishal <i>ji,</i> here it says…

00:22:45.520 --> 00:22:49.560 align:center
you had a breakup because
she cheated on you.

00:22:50.720 --> 00:22:53.120 align:center
Actually, it was only after
I became famous

00:22:53.720 --> 00:22:56.680 align:center
that I started dating.
I built a nice connection.

00:22:56.760 --> 00:22:58.240 align:center
The relationship went on for three years.

00:22:58.520 --> 00:23:02.120 align:center
But then my social media reach
began to decline.

00:23:02.360 --> 00:23:06.360 align:center
So I told her I needed some time
to work on it and asked for six months.

00:23:06.720 --> 00:23:09.800 align:center
I said I needed to open my studio,
and then I'd get back together with her.

00:23:10.000 --> 00:23:12.680 align:center
But during that time,
she started seeing a teacher

00:23:12.760 --> 00:23:14.040 align:center
who was ten years older than her.

00:23:15.760 --> 00:23:19.480 align:center
While your reach was dropping,
her engagement happened.

00:23:19.960 --> 00:23:21.600 align:center
- Shit, man.
- Yeah, so…

00:23:21.680 --> 00:23:23.640 align:center
Which teacher was it?

00:23:23.800 --> 00:23:25.280 align:center
Her dance teacher.

00:23:25.360 --> 00:23:26.600 align:center
- Oh!
- Yeah…

00:23:26.680 --> 00:23:28.880 align:center
Is that why you learned
the skill of skipping?

00:23:30.000 --> 00:23:33.840 align:center
Ever since then,
I've been a little depressed.

00:23:33.920 --> 00:23:35.000 align:center
Oh, shit, man!

00:23:35.080 --> 00:23:38.360 align:center
But once you're on <i>Latent,</i>
your reach will go through the roof.

00:23:40.000 --> 00:23:41.480 align:center
So, would you like to say
something to her?

00:23:46.760 --> 00:23:47.960 align:center
I'm sure she's already doing that.

00:23:50.640 --> 00:23:51.560 align:center
That hurt.

00:23:51.640 --> 00:23:52.520 align:center
Hurt, didn't it?

00:23:53.320 --> 00:23:56.520 align:center
Ever heard of the Fuckawi tribe in Africa?

00:23:56.600 --> 00:23:57.520 align:center
- No.
- No?

00:23:58.320 --> 00:24:00.440 align:center
- They're small. Really short.
- Oh, okay.

00:24:00.520 --> 00:24:01.880 align:center
- And they--
- And they live in a region

00:24:01.960 --> 00:24:03.280 align:center
covered in tall grass.

00:24:03.360 --> 00:24:07.640 align:center
So they're always skipping around,
yelling, "Where the fuck are we?"

00:24:07.720 --> 00:24:09.480 align:center
- They do that.
- Incredible, man.

00:24:09.560 --> 00:24:11.680 align:center
- Shit, I'm so bad, man!
- Good one, man.

00:24:11.760 --> 00:24:12.680 align:center
Good one.

00:24:13.000 --> 00:24:14.880 align:center
- Incredible.
- Thank God, man.

00:24:14.960 --> 00:24:17.040 align:center
- Just stick to the slap.
- Shit!

00:24:17.440 --> 00:24:20.400 align:center
I'll come to Shahdara and tell this joke.
Those fuckers will get it.

00:24:21.480 --> 00:24:23.000 align:center
Keep trying, sir. You'll get there.

00:24:31.560 --> 00:24:34.080 align:center
Excellent, Vishal Pathak.
All the best to you, brother.

00:24:34.160 --> 00:24:35.760 align:center
Time to score Vishal Pathak.

00:24:36.040 --> 00:24:39.440 align:center
There's no question about it.
It's a ten out of ten from me, brother.

00:24:39.520 --> 00:24:40.720 align:center
Thank you so much.

00:24:40.800 --> 00:24:42.720 align:center
- Ten on ten.
- Thank you so much.

00:24:42.800 --> 00:24:43.680 align:center
Ten.

00:24:44.280 --> 00:24:47.840 align:center
Vishal <i>bhai,</i> judging by your confidence,
I think you've given yourself a ten too.

00:24:47.920 --> 00:24:48.760 align:center
So…

00:24:48.840 --> 00:24:49.800 align:center
- Come on!
- Ten on ten.

00:24:49.880 --> 00:24:50.840 align:center
- Ten on ten.
- Thank you.

00:24:50.920 --> 00:24:51.800 align:center
Go for it.

00:24:51.880 --> 00:24:53.960 align:center
- Ten on ten from me as well.
- Ten on ten, brother.

00:24:54.640 --> 00:24:56.760 align:center
- Ten on ten, brother.
- To calculate the average,

00:24:56.840 --> 00:24:58.080 align:center
should we call that teacher?

00:25:02.040 --> 00:25:04.760 align:center
Come on, let's not ruin the moment.

00:25:11.240 --> 00:25:14.000 align:center
<i>The vibe is unreal!</i>

00:25:16.840 --> 00:25:18.880 align:center
Thank you so much, everyone!

00:25:23.600 --> 00:25:25.800 align:center
That's crazy, bro!

00:25:28.120 --> 00:25:29.200 align:center
Well done, man!

00:25:29.880 --> 00:25:30.840 align:center
Too good.

00:25:32.320 --> 00:25:34.760 align:center
Superb, man!
Congratulations, brother.

00:25:35.400 --> 00:25:39.520 align:center
You win the ticket-sale proceeds
worth 1,00,000 rupees!

00:25:42.280 --> 00:25:44.040 align:center
Thank you so much. Thank you.

00:25:44.120 --> 00:25:45.920 align:center
So, what are you gonna do
with the prize money?

00:25:47.320 --> 00:25:49.880 align:center
- I'll buy myself a phone.
- Why do you wanna buy a phone?

00:25:49.960 --> 00:25:53.440 align:center
You're taking home a free Ai+ phone!

00:25:53.520 --> 00:25:54.680 align:center
Let's go!

00:25:56.080 --> 00:25:58.160 align:center
<i>The vibe is unreal!</i>

00:25:59.600 --> 00:26:01.560 align:center
Hey, what's wrong?
Why are you crying?

00:26:05.800 --> 00:26:06.880 align:center
Feeling emotional?

00:26:08.400 --> 00:26:11.240 align:center
I've had some really tough times.

00:26:11.560 --> 00:26:13.200 align:center
- Oh, man!
- You're tougher, man!

00:26:13.280 --> 00:26:15.240 align:center
- You're tougher, brother!
- You're incredible!

00:26:27.600 --> 00:26:29.160 align:center
Just don't smack me, okay?

00:26:31.320 --> 00:26:32.920 align:center
- Thank you so much.
- Come on, make some noise for him!

00:26:33.000 --> 00:26:34.640 align:center
- Thank you.
- Yeah!

00:26:36.080 --> 00:26:37.080 align:center
What a guy!

00:26:38.560 --> 00:26:39.560 align:center
God's plan.

00:26:43.520 --> 00:26:44.400 align:center
Thank you.

00:26:46.000 --> 00:26:46.920 align:center
So sweet!

00:26:51.040 --> 00:26:52.120 align:center
- Love you.
- Cheers!

00:26:53.360 --> 00:26:54.760 align:center
You share everything.

00:26:59.240 --> 00:27:00.080 align:center
So…

00:27:04.320 --> 00:27:07.360 align:center
So, here's a brand new Ai+ phone for him.

00:27:07.440 --> 00:27:09.120 align:center
- Oh, my God.
- Ai+ Nova 2 Pro.

00:27:09.200 --> 00:27:10.280 align:center
- Yeah!
- Thank you.

00:27:10.360 --> 00:27:13.080 align:center
It comes with a 7100 processor.

00:27:13.400 --> 00:27:15.560 align:center
The best chipset in this segment.

00:27:15.640 --> 00:27:18.160 align:center
It has customizable back-panel lighting.

00:27:18.240 --> 00:27:21.200 align:center
It comes in red, blue, and other--
Sorry, man.

00:27:22.040 --> 00:27:24.880 align:center
It's got a 48MP Sony camera.

00:27:26.080 --> 00:27:28.520 align:center
- Alright? Enjoy, man.
- Thank you.

00:27:30.000 --> 00:27:30.960 align:center
Congrats.

00:27:31.040 --> 00:27:33.040 align:center
- It's not for me, it's--
- You give it to me.

00:27:33.120 --> 00:27:34.040 align:center
Okay.

00:27:38.360 --> 00:27:41.720 align:center
Apart from this, you have a chance
to win another 50,000 rupees.

00:27:41.800 --> 00:27:44.480 align:center
For that, you need to answer
a Wild Stone question correctly.

00:27:44.600 --> 00:27:45.880 align:center
- Okay.
- Are you ready for it?

00:27:45.960 --> 00:27:47.280 align:center
- Yes.
- Alright.

00:27:47.400 --> 00:27:48.400 align:center
So, Vishal <i>bhai,</i>

00:27:48.760 --> 00:27:52.440 align:center
Wild Stone comes in four
flavors-- I mean, fragrances.

00:27:53.320 --> 00:27:54.200 align:center
Okay?

00:27:54.720 --> 00:27:58.000 align:center
Hero, Edge, King, and Forest Spice.

00:27:58.320 --> 00:27:59.880 align:center
You have to choose one of them.

00:28:00.320 --> 00:28:02.480 align:center
Tell me, which one do you choose?
Don't say it out loud.

00:28:03.920 --> 00:28:07.440 align:center
Alright. If you happen to pick
the same fragrance

00:28:07.520 --> 00:28:11.320 align:center
as Vishal <i>ji</i> from these…

00:28:11.400 --> 00:28:13.000 align:center
- What are the names?
- four amazing fragrances,

00:28:13.080 --> 00:28:16.560 align:center
you will win an additional
50,000 rupees from Wild Stone.

00:28:16.640 --> 00:28:17.520 align:center
Alright?

00:28:17.640 --> 00:28:19.800 align:center
- Come on, buddy!
- So, your options are…

00:28:20.240 --> 00:28:21.120 align:center
Hero,

00:28:21.840 --> 00:28:22.680 align:center
Edge,

00:28:23.040 --> 00:28:24.440 align:center
Forest Spice,

00:28:25.160 --> 00:28:26.480 align:center
or King.

00:28:31.360 --> 00:28:32.200 align:center
Fourth.

00:28:33.040 --> 00:28:34.200 align:center
- King.
- King?

00:28:34.280 --> 00:28:35.840 align:center
- King.
- Are you sure?

00:28:35.920 --> 00:28:36.760 align:center
Yeah, sure.

00:28:37.080 --> 00:28:39.200 align:center
- Should we lock it?
- I feel like a king today anyway.

00:28:39.720 --> 00:28:41.880 align:center
That's the right answer!

00:28:41.960 --> 00:28:43.800 align:center
- Yes!
- Let's go!

00:28:47.240 --> 00:28:49.120 align:center
- Thank you so much.
- Let's go!

00:28:49.200 --> 00:28:52.160 align:center
Another 50,000 rupees from Wild Stone!

00:28:53.920 --> 00:28:56.040 align:center
<i>The vibe is unreal!</i>

00:28:58.280 --> 00:29:01.000 align:center
Make some noise for the next act,
Sakshi Jha!

00:29:03.720 --> 00:29:05.320 align:center
Hello, women and their creatures.

00:29:05.400 --> 00:29:07.960 align:center
My name is Sakshi, and I am a man-hater.

00:29:08.240 --> 00:29:10.120 align:center
- You know--
- Why did you give the paper to him?

00:29:11.760 --> 00:29:12.600 align:center
Sorry.

00:29:14.000 --> 00:29:15.840 align:center
I know why men hate me.

00:29:16.200 --> 00:29:17.320 align:center
So, I'm a man-hater.

00:29:17.440 --> 00:29:20.320 align:center
Basically, I get a kick
out of wrecking men's egos.

00:29:20.600 --> 00:29:23.600 align:center
My friends always say,
"Sakshi, you're very lame."

00:29:23.920 --> 00:29:24.960 align:center
Well, alright, I am.

00:29:25.040 --> 00:29:27.760 align:center
I feel like I'll never be a great man,

00:29:28.160 --> 00:29:31.080 align:center
no matter how hard I try.
Because I'm a woman.

00:29:31.840 --> 00:29:34.560 align:center
And being a woman in this generation
is traumatizing.

00:29:34.640 --> 00:29:35.560 align:center
I'm telling you.

00:29:35.640 --> 00:29:39.240 align:center
The men these days--
I'm telling you, I don't hate any castes.

00:29:39.320 --> 00:29:41.440 align:center
I don't care about class or status.

00:29:41.520 --> 00:29:43.400 align:center
But I genuinely hate men.

00:29:43.480 --> 00:29:47.280 align:center
What good are they? Just looking
at a man grosses me out.

00:29:47.360 --> 00:29:48.280 align:center
Next to me--

00:29:48.760 --> 00:29:50.160 align:center
I simply don't want a man around.

00:29:50.440 --> 00:29:52.560 align:center
Then I wonder, what do men even know?

00:29:52.720 --> 00:29:54.840 align:center
They either finish themselves off

00:29:55.000 --> 00:29:57.240 align:center
or finish in a few minutes.

00:29:57.320 --> 00:29:59.080 align:center
That's it. That's all they're capable of.

00:29:59.160 --> 00:30:01.200 align:center
And then they brag about being men.

00:30:01.280 --> 00:30:03.200 align:center
Did you come out of your father's womb?

00:30:03.560 --> 00:30:05.960 align:center
Did you?
A woman gave birth to you.

00:30:06.040 --> 00:30:08.080 align:center
That's my time.
Thank you so much.

00:30:08.400 --> 00:30:09.760 align:center
Sakshi Jha.

00:30:10.320 --> 00:30:12.200 align:center
Shall I continue?
I've got more material.

00:30:12.360 --> 00:30:15.520 align:center
- You can. You have 30 seconds left.
- What exactly-- I'm sorry.

00:30:15.600 --> 00:30:17.600 align:center
- Wait, we'll come to it.
- Yes. Finish it.

00:30:17.680 --> 00:30:18.920 align:center
Don't mansplain to her.

00:30:19.000 --> 00:30:20.120 align:center
- No, no.
- Look!

00:30:20.200 --> 00:30:21.560 align:center
I was just asking something.

00:30:21.640 --> 00:30:22.520 align:center
Look.

00:30:22.760 --> 00:30:23.640 align:center
Hear me out.

00:30:23.960 --> 00:30:25.920 align:center
A chameleon changes its colors
to suit the situation.

00:30:26.000 --> 00:30:29.040 align:center
But men?
Men lose it as soon as they see a woman.

00:30:29.120 --> 00:30:30.320 align:center
"Oh, my God! A woman!"

00:30:30.680 --> 00:30:32.760 align:center
Men can change within seconds.

00:30:32.920 --> 00:30:35.840 align:center
One day they're like, "I love you."

00:30:35.960 --> 00:30:38.600 align:center
The next day, they're telling
another woman, "I love you, babe."

00:30:39.240 --> 00:30:41.760 align:center
So, this is what it is.
Thank you so much.

00:30:43.160 --> 00:30:44.720 align:center
Who hurt you, Sakshi?

00:30:44.840 --> 00:30:46.800 align:center
- Mens! The men--
- "Mens"?

00:30:48.080 --> 00:30:50.000 align:center
"Mens." Friends!

00:30:50.080 --> 00:30:52.080 align:center
This is where I'd give a shout-out
to Teach For India.

00:31:00.440 --> 00:31:03.160 align:center
Please educate the girl child.

00:31:03.560 --> 00:31:04.560 align:center
You should.

00:31:04.640 --> 00:31:06.600 align:center
That's why Gen Z women are smarter.

00:31:06.680 --> 00:31:07.560 align:center
"Mens."

00:31:10.080 --> 00:31:11.840 align:center
So, Sakshi, why do you hate "mens"?

00:31:13.720 --> 00:31:14.720 align:center
Think about it.

00:31:14.800 --> 00:31:17.240 align:center
Look at men these days.
What's good about them?

00:31:17.320 --> 00:31:19.160 align:center
- Why are you pointing at them?
- I'm just saying.

00:31:19.240 --> 00:31:21.640 align:center
- They were just clapping for you.
- Thank you so much, you all.

00:31:21.720 --> 00:31:23.880 align:center
- But--
- You just compared men to chameleons.

00:31:28.080 --> 00:31:30.000 align:center
They are, though.
That's the problem.

00:31:30.080 --> 00:31:31.440 align:center
But do you really hate men so much?

00:31:31.520 --> 00:31:32.360 align:center
So much!

00:31:33.120 --> 00:31:34.360 align:center
I mean, I would keep a distance.

00:31:34.440 --> 00:31:35.560 align:center
- Okay--
- There's one behind you.

00:31:35.640 --> 00:31:36.600 align:center
Oh, sorry!

00:31:39.080 --> 00:31:40.640 align:center
Did you have a really bad experience?

00:31:40.720 --> 00:31:42.200 align:center
Yes, definitely.

00:31:42.280 --> 00:31:43.920 align:center
I have generational trauma from men.

00:31:44.000 --> 00:31:46.080 align:center
How do you feel
looking at our panel today?

00:31:46.880 --> 00:31:49.080 align:center
I genuinely get the ick
seeing all the mens here.

00:31:49.400 --> 00:31:52.560 align:center
If you're a man-hater,
how does your dad feel about this?

00:31:52.720 --> 00:31:55.240 align:center
I genuinely hate him.
And I told him, you know…

00:31:55.920 --> 00:31:57.520 align:center
Why so mean? He's your father.

00:31:57.600 --> 00:32:00.560 align:center
I mean, he's my father.
But he's still a <i>men.</i>

00:32:01.000 --> 00:32:02.440 align:center
- He's a "men."
- But you--

00:32:02.520 --> 00:32:03.440 align:center
He is a "men."

00:32:03.520 --> 00:32:05.240 align:center
- He is indeed a "men."
- It is what it is.

00:32:05.320 --> 00:32:07.320 align:center
- Sure, you're right.
- How was your grandfather?

00:32:07.800 --> 00:32:09.000 align:center
He is also the same.

00:32:09.080 --> 00:32:11.960 align:center
"Women can't do anything.
Go back to the kitchen."

00:32:12.040 --> 00:32:12.880 align:center
I mean…

00:32:12.960 --> 00:32:15.840 align:center
That's his prejudice.
I understand why you don't like that.

00:32:15.960 --> 00:32:17.320 align:center
Oh, he hates me, personally.

00:32:17.960 --> 00:32:20.320 align:center
- That I understand. I understand.
- Because in my home--

00:32:20.400 --> 00:32:22.040 align:center
We are learning.

00:32:22.120 --> 00:32:23.320 align:center
That I understand.

00:32:23.400 --> 00:32:25.320 align:center
Because I don't like his grandson.

00:32:26.160 --> 00:32:27.960 align:center
- His grandson?
- My brother.

00:32:28.360 --> 00:32:30.520 align:center
- You have a brother too?
- Yes. He was a mistake.

00:32:31.720 --> 00:32:32.560 align:center
Who was born first?

00:32:32.640 --> 00:32:34.040 align:center
He has three older sisters, including me.

00:32:34.200 --> 00:32:35.760 align:center
Then he surely wasn't a mistake.

00:32:36.760 --> 00:32:38.800 align:center
That was all his effort, I know!

00:32:40.360 --> 00:32:42.480 align:center
Sakshi, what do you think of me?

00:32:42.560 --> 00:32:43.800 align:center
I like you.

00:32:44.040 --> 00:32:45.600 align:center
You're very fair, you know?

00:32:46.000 --> 00:32:46.920 align:center
I'm fair?

00:32:47.000 --> 00:32:49.000 align:center
- Yeah.
- That's your reason?!

00:32:49.600 --> 00:32:52.000 align:center
- That's the reason you're giving?
- Racist man-hater.

00:32:52.080 --> 00:32:53.800 align:center
- Yeah.
- Very rare.

00:32:54.760 --> 00:32:56.000 align:center
- Chameleon.
- Oh, man!

00:32:56.080 --> 00:32:58.920 align:center
You've written here that your goal is
to get drunk and beat up your husband.

00:32:59.000 --> 00:33:01.160 align:center
Oh, I really want to!

00:33:01.280 --> 00:33:03.360 align:center
Take the belt and say,
"You're in for it today!"

00:33:03.440 --> 00:33:04.760 align:center
- I really want to.
- "You're in for it today"?

00:33:04.840 --> 00:33:06.000 align:center
What do you mean by
"You're in for it today"?

00:33:06.080 --> 00:33:08.800 align:center
Why don't you just get
into a healthy relationship?

00:33:10.600 --> 00:33:11.760 align:center
- Why whip anyone with a belt?
- I…

00:33:11.840 --> 00:33:15.040 align:center
I have a fantasy of becoming
a walking red flag.

00:33:15.480 --> 00:33:17.720 align:center
It says here that you got cheated on.

00:33:18.200 --> 00:33:19.040 align:center
I mean…

00:33:20.200 --> 00:33:21.520 align:center
why would anyone cheat on you?

00:33:21.600 --> 00:33:23.720 align:center
Maybe because I'm a man-hater.

00:33:24.600 --> 00:33:26.800 align:center
How did you find out he was cheating?

00:33:26.880 --> 00:33:28.600 align:center
I saw some chats.

00:33:28.680 --> 00:33:30.440 align:center
- And then--
- He was happy for a day.

00:33:34.360 --> 00:33:35.880 align:center
True, true, true.

00:33:37.920 --> 00:33:41.080 align:center
But you know, they say
you don't fight hate with hate.

00:33:41.160 --> 00:33:43.080 align:center
You fight hate with love.

00:33:43.160 --> 00:33:45.360 align:center
Sure. So, should I say
that I love everyone?

00:33:45.440 --> 00:33:47.160 align:center
- I mean…
- I just can't. What can I do?

00:33:47.760 --> 00:33:49.480 align:center
Actually, I can if I find a good man.

00:33:49.880 --> 00:33:51.320 align:center
- What do you mean by "good man"?
- A good man!

00:33:51.800 --> 00:33:55.040 align:center
A good man is one who is
his wife's devoted servant.

00:33:55.120 --> 00:33:56.320 align:center
- Okay.
- Oh, my God.

00:33:56.800 --> 00:33:58.960 align:center
- Someone you can whip with a belt?
- Yes.

00:33:59.560 --> 00:34:01.120 align:center
Role reversal, you know.

00:34:01.600 --> 00:34:03.200 align:center
- That's wonderful.
- There should be some change.

00:34:03.280 --> 00:34:05.000 align:center
I'm Gen Z.
I've got to do things differently.

00:34:05.960 --> 00:34:07.480 align:center
- "Zen Z."
- "Zen Z."

00:34:07.560 --> 00:34:09.120 align:center
- "Zen Z!"
- "I'm Zen Z!"

00:34:09.760 --> 00:34:10.800 align:center
"I hate mens."

00:34:11.639 --> 00:34:14.800 align:center
Her English teacher was a man,
so she never attended his classes.

00:34:19.960 --> 00:34:22.719 align:center
What do you mean by, "I make Bhojpuri
reels, and my account owes its success

00:34:22.800 --> 00:34:25.199 align:center
- to Biharis"?
- I'm famous because I make Bhojpuri reels.

00:34:25.280 --> 00:34:26.239 align:center
- Content.
- You're famous?

00:34:26.320 --> 00:34:27.360 align:center
Yeah, somewhat.

00:34:27.440 --> 00:34:28.760 align:center
What type of Bhojpuri reels do you make?

00:34:28.840 --> 00:34:30.960 align:center
Random stuff. I represent my culture.

00:34:31.040 --> 00:34:32.000 align:center
The fact that I'm from Bihar.

00:34:32.080 --> 00:34:35.280 align:center
But you've also written here
that-- Where did it go?

00:34:36.159 --> 00:34:39.600 align:center
"I make Bhojpuri reels, and my
account owes its success to Biharis.

00:34:39.679 --> 00:34:42.400 align:center
Yet here I am, dissing them."

00:34:42.480 --> 00:34:44.440 align:center
Because I was going to make
jokes about Biharis.

00:34:44.520 --> 00:34:46.000 align:center
- But I was--
- Why? They're so smart.

00:34:46.080 --> 00:34:47.480 align:center
They're intelligent.
They become IAS officers.

00:34:47.560 --> 00:34:49.520 align:center
- They clear the UPSC.
- Sure, they do everything.

00:34:50.400 --> 00:34:51.800 align:center
But the men there aren't nice.

00:34:52.360 --> 00:34:54.120 align:center
Do you know Gautama Buddha
was from Bihar too?

00:34:54.199 --> 00:34:55.040 align:center
Who?

00:34:55.120 --> 00:34:56.239 align:center
- Who?!
- Who?!

00:34:56.320 --> 00:34:58.560 align:center
- Sorry, sorry.
- Friends, this is Teach For India.

00:34:58.640 --> 00:34:59.640 align:center
Sorry, sorry.

00:35:03.000 --> 00:35:03.920 align:center
Please!

00:35:04.000 --> 00:35:05.480 align:center
- Please contribute.
- Please educate India.

00:35:06.000 --> 00:35:07.840 align:center
Please. Teach India.

00:35:10.320 --> 00:35:11.520 align:center
"Gautama Buddha? Who?"

00:35:11.600 --> 00:35:13.560 align:center
Actually, Gautama Buddha
is asking this question himself.

00:35:16.480 --> 00:35:17.800 align:center
So, Sakshi Jha…

00:35:18.360 --> 00:35:22.960 align:center
don't you know all "mens"
come out of women?

00:35:23.040 --> 00:35:24.720 align:center
- Of course.
- So, women give birth

00:35:24.800 --> 00:35:26.040 align:center
to these "mens" that you hate.

00:35:26.120 --> 00:35:27.960 align:center
- The root of the problem.
- So, it's men…

00:35:31.040 --> 00:35:32.520 align:center
Definitely the root cause.

00:35:32.640 --> 00:35:34.520 align:center
Tanmay <i>bhai,</i> you're unusually quiet today.

00:35:34.600 --> 00:35:35.880 align:center
He's still processing everything.

00:35:36.240 --> 00:35:39.080 align:center
Can you order blades on Flipkart Minutes?

00:35:39.560 --> 00:35:40.720 align:center
I want blades.

00:35:40.800 --> 00:35:41.800 align:center
You'll get it.

00:35:42.360 --> 00:35:44.280 align:center
Can we get two blades in 12 minutes?

00:35:45.040 --> 00:35:47.040 align:center
Flipkart Minutes will actually deliver it.

00:35:47.120 --> 00:35:48.760 align:center
Order it right fucking now!

00:35:48.840 --> 00:35:51.840 align:center
- Order blades from Flipkart Minutes.
- You get everything there.

00:35:52.800 --> 00:35:54.240 align:center
You used to be a teacher in school?

00:35:54.320 --> 00:35:56.520 align:center
I still am. I'm a teacher.
I just took the day off today.

00:35:56.600 --> 00:35:58.280 align:center
- I teach students.
- What do you teach them?

00:35:58.360 --> 00:36:00.440 align:center
That you should ask for anything.

00:36:00.520 --> 00:36:02.760 align:center
Use before asking--
Ask before using.

00:36:03.960 --> 00:36:05.160 align:center
Home from work!

00:36:07.560 --> 00:36:09.480 align:center
Sakshi, I want to say thank you.

00:36:09.800 --> 00:36:11.040 align:center
Thank you so much.

00:36:11.360 --> 00:36:14.520 align:center
Because of you,
people will love men a lot more.

00:36:14.600 --> 00:36:15.680 align:center
- No!
- They will.

00:36:16.120 --> 00:36:19.360 align:center
- They will. After you.
- Okay, let them!

00:36:19.440 --> 00:36:22.240 align:center
- That's okay.
- You have really done men a favor.

00:36:22.320 --> 00:36:24.720 align:center
At least poor men are getting
some encouragement somewhere.

00:36:24.800 --> 00:36:26.640 align:center
Thank you.
Just keep talking.

00:36:26.720 --> 00:36:29.200 align:center
- You completely fucked feminism over…
- Keep talking.

00:36:29.280 --> 00:36:30.240 align:center
on stage today.

00:36:30.320 --> 00:36:31.600 align:center
- A lot of people worked their asses off.
- You know--

00:36:31.680 --> 00:36:32.840 align:center
- I'm a feminist.
- You crapped all over it today!

00:36:32.920 --> 00:36:34.080 align:center
- You're a feminist?
- Yes.

00:36:34.160 --> 00:36:36.080 align:center
Look, women have fought really hard…

00:36:36.160 --> 00:36:39.880 align:center
- Please don't call yourself a feminist.
- to move just a few steps forward.

00:36:40.240 --> 00:36:42.040 align:center
Don't kick them back

00:36:42.120 --> 00:36:44.040 align:center
- to where they started.
- Sakshi, we're not letting that happen.

00:36:45.800 --> 00:36:48.320 align:center
Do you ever want to be a mother someday?

00:36:48.680 --> 00:36:51.080 align:center
- Of course, I would love to.
- But for that, you will need "mens."

00:36:51.160 --> 00:36:53.760 align:center
Sure, I'll get married.
I'll marry men.

00:36:53.840 --> 00:36:54.880 align:center
You'll marry men?

00:36:56.040 --> 00:36:57.760 align:center
I will marry a man.

00:36:58.400 --> 00:37:00.000 align:center
I'm sure your drug dealer is a man too.

00:37:00.760 --> 00:37:01.680 align:center
What?

00:37:01.760 --> 00:37:03.560 align:center
Is your drug dealer a man or a woman?

00:37:03.640 --> 00:37:05.800 align:center
I don't drugs.
I don't do any of that.

00:37:05.880 --> 00:37:07.560 align:center
She don't drugs, fuckers!

00:37:07.640 --> 00:37:09.160 align:center
- "I don't drugs."
- She don't drugs!

00:37:10.240 --> 00:37:11.800 align:center
She don't drugs!

00:37:16.040 --> 00:37:17.400 align:center
Teach For India.

00:37:18.960 --> 00:37:21.760 align:center
- Make some noise for Sakshi Jha, everyone!
- Thank you so much!

00:37:24.120 --> 00:37:25.360 align:center
Time to give you your scores.

00:37:26.200 --> 00:37:28.160 align:center
Let's begin from there today.
From the real man.

00:37:28.280 --> 00:37:29.600 align:center
You've put me in a spot!

00:37:30.560 --> 00:37:31.680 align:center
Threw me under the bus!

00:37:31.760 --> 00:37:34.080 align:center
I said I liked you.
You have to give me good scores.

00:37:34.160 --> 00:37:35.080 align:center
Hundred percent.

00:37:35.280 --> 00:37:37.360 align:center
From my side, it's a zero.

00:37:37.440 --> 00:37:39.560 align:center
Yeah? Yeah.

00:37:39.640 --> 00:37:40.640 align:center
You're a man!

00:37:41.440 --> 00:37:43.720 align:center
You're all men.
Of course, you'll give me a zero.

00:37:45.600 --> 00:37:48.000 align:center
Whoever said men don't feel pain?

00:37:48.120 --> 00:37:49.320 align:center
They do!

00:37:49.400 --> 00:37:50.840 align:center
Men do feel pain, man!

00:37:50.920 --> 00:37:52.160 align:center
Clock it!

00:37:54.360 --> 00:37:56.880 align:center
- Samay, is a ten on ten allowed?
- Yes.

00:37:56.960 --> 00:37:57.840 align:center
Zero.

00:37:59.520 --> 00:38:00.840 align:center
I should have written zero.

00:38:03.280 --> 00:38:04.480 align:center
I really feel…

00:38:05.200 --> 00:38:06.200 align:center
- that…
- Blade!

00:38:06.280 --> 00:38:07.680 align:center
- Blade!
- Blade!

00:38:07.760 --> 00:38:09.840 align:center
- Blade! Blade!
- The blade is here!

00:38:11.480 --> 00:38:13.560 align:center
- Here, we're--
- Flipkart Minutes!

00:38:13.640 --> 00:38:15.600 align:center
Oh, my God!

00:38:16.800 --> 00:38:19.600 align:center
Five of us are fighting over these blades.

00:38:19.680 --> 00:38:20.520 align:center
Zero.

00:38:21.600 --> 00:38:22.480 align:center
Sakshi<i> ji…</i>

00:38:24.160 --> 00:38:25.240 align:center
you know, you are…

00:38:26.040 --> 00:38:26.960 align:center
very wrong.

00:38:28.080 --> 00:38:29.680 align:center
But you are so entertaining.

00:38:30.080 --> 00:38:32.000 align:center
- Thank you.
- So, I'll give you a zero.

00:38:34.640 --> 00:38:36.000 align:center
All the mens out there!

00:38:36.320 --> 00:38:37.160 align:center
I…

00:38:37.240 --> 00:38:38.880 align:center
- One second. One second.
- Fuck you, mens!

00:38:39.040 --> 00:38:40.120 align:center
- All women--
- Only the women--

00:38:40.200 --> 00:38:41.880 align:center
- Only the women.
- Women only. Give her your scores.

00:38:41.960 --> 00:38:43.360 align:center
- Zero!
- Zero!

00:38:43.480 --> 00:38:45.440 align:center
All the women here are saying zero.

00:38:47.600 --> 00:38:48.880 align:center
Eight.

00:38:49.080 --> 00:38:50.480 align:center
It's fine, guys. It's okay.

00:38:51.120 --> 00:38:53.440 align:center
- Men…
- I wish we were fine.

00:38:55.640 --> 00:38:56.800 align:center
- But…
- Really, man!

00:38:56.880 --> 00:38:58.920 align:center
I wish I could say,
thank you so much for coming,

00:38:59.000 --> 00:39:00.600 align:center
- Sakshi<i> ji.</i>
- Thank you so much. I had a great time.

00:39:02.400 --> 00:39:05.280 align:center
Alright! Make some noise
for the last act,

00:39:05.720 --> 00:39:07.400 align:center
Shivam Verma.

00:39:12.560 --> 00:39:14.080 align:center
Son of a Jackson!

00:39:16.800 --> 00:39:18.000 align:center
- No way!
- Let's go!

00:39:18.080 --> 00:39:19.240 align:center
Tiger Shroff!

00:39:23.960 --> 00:39:25.320 align:center
Hey, I'm Michael.

00:39:26.840 --> 00:39:28.320 align:center
An elderly man out there asked,

00:39:28.800 --> 00:39:30.240 align:center
"Is that Rakhi Sawant?"

00:39:31.320 --> 00:39:32.240 align:center
I was like…

00:39:38.840 --> 00:39:39.960 align:center
Make some noise for me.

00:39:45.520 --> 00:39:46.680 align:center
Samay <i>bhai,</i> big fan.

00:39:46.840 --> 00:39:47.800 align:center
Thank you, thank you.

00:39:48.600 --> 00:39:50.640 align:center
- Samay <i>bhai,</i> big fan.
- Thank you. Same here,

00:39:51.280 --> 00:39:52.600 align:center
- Really?
- Of course.

00:39:52.680 --> 00:39:55.520 align:center
Thank you.
Well, I'm part Kashmiri too.

00:39:55.600 --> 00:39:57.240 align:center
You're Michael Jackson, asshole.

00:39:58.120 --> 00:39:59.200 align:center
Stay in character.

00:40:00.080 --> 00:40:02.120 align:center
I've got a dance performance for you all.

00:40:02.440 --> 00:40:03.720 align:center
I hope you guys like it.

00:40:18.920 --> 00:40:20.400 align:center
His wig will fall off too.

00:40:24.440 --> 00:40:26.040 align:center
- That was all.
- Let's go!

00:40:26.120 --> 00:40:27.680 align:center
Hello, Mr. Obama.
How are you?

00:40:27.760 --> 00:40:28.720 align:center
Give him the mic.

00:40:31.400 --> 00:40:33.760 align:center
So, Shivam--
Sorry, Michael Jackson.

00:40:35.720 --> 00:40:36.680 align:center
Michael Jackson?

00:40:36.760 --> 00:40:39.480 align:center
<i>You've been struck by</i>
<i>A douche criminal</i>

00:40:43.240 --> 00:40:45.720 align:center
I don't know
how I'll watch <i>Indian Idol</i> anymore.

00:40:47.080 --> 00:40:49.480 align:center
Vishal Dadlani has ruined
<i>Indian Idol </i>for me.

00:40:52.000 --> 00:40:52.840 align:center
Hi.

00:40:53.000 --> 00:40:54.520 align:center
That was amazing, Shivam Verma.

00:40:54.760 --> 00:40:55.640 align:center
Yes.

00:40:56.560 --> 00:40:59.680 align:center
So, do you have a grudge
against Michael Jackson?

00:41:01.360 --> 00:41:03.000 align:center
Well, I really admire him.

00:41:03.080 --> 00:41:04.720 align:center
So why didn't that
come through in your act?

00:41:05.920 --> 00:41:07.440 align:center
Was this your homage to him?

00:41:09.600 --> 00:41:12.680 align:center
I think I need to work on this a bit more.

00:41:13.160 --> 00:41:15.720 align:center
- Are you a mimicry artist, Shivam <i>bhai?</i>
- Yeah.

00:41:15.800 --> 00:41:17.600 align:center
Who else do you do a bad impression of?

00:41:18.840 --> 00:41:19.680 align:center
Samay Raina sir.

00:41:19.760 --> 00:41:21.480 align:center
- Oh, please go ahead.
- Oh boy, let's go!

00:41:21.560 --> 00:41:23.000 align:center
- We have got to see that.
- Amazing.

00:41:23.080 --> 00:41:25.120 align:center
- Let's go! Come on!
- Let's go!

00:41:25.200 --> 00:41:26.120 align:center
Peak.

00:41:26.520 --> 00:41:30.200 align:center
A snake fucking bit my grandpa on the ass…

00:41:34.640 --> 00:41:36.160 align:center
Do I really fucking sound like that?

00:41:37.000 --> 00:41:37.880 align:center
Definitely.

00:41:38.080 --> 00:41:39.480 align:center
Okay, I'll just keep quiet now.

00:41:41.120 --> 00:41:42.640 align:center
Who else can you mimic?

00:41:43.040 --> 00:41:44.920 align:center
I can do Shah Rukh Khan.

00:41:45.080 --> 00:41:46.200 align:center
- Oh.
- Yeah.

00:41:46.280 --> 00:41:47.400 align:center
- Go for it.
- Amazing.

00:41:49.080 --> 00:41:53.000 align:center
Eleven countries' police forces are
waiting for Don. But understand one thing…

00:41:53.520 --> 00:41:55.680 align:center
catching Don isn't just difficult…

00:41:59.240 --> 00:42:00.280 align:center
Yeah!

00:42:00.800 --> 00:42:01.680 align:center
Shivam…

00:42:02.920 --> 00:42:05.360 align:center
can you do Samay's joke
in Shah Rukh's voice?

00:42:07.120 --> 00:42:08.400 align:center
A snake…

00:42:10.520 --> 00:42:12.120 align:center
fucking bit my grandpa on the ass!

00:42:17.520 --> 00:42:18.600 align:center
Nice one, man!

00:42:19.040 --> 00:42:21.280 align:center
It says here that
you have defeated 32 girls.

00:42:21.680 --> 00:42:22.880 align:center
- Yeah.
- Call her here!

00:42:26.800 --> 00:42:29.160 align:center
There should be a fucking cage match!

00:42:30.600 --> 00:42:32.600 align:center
So, Shivam <i>bhai,</i>

00:42:32.680 --> 00:42:34.360 align:center
we have "womens…"

00:42:35.760 --> 00:42:38.160 align:center
- "Womens" champion!
- who hates "mens."

00:42:38.240 --> 00:42:39.240 align:center
Two, right?

00:42:39.360 --> 00:42:40.680 align:center
No, we have one woman.

00:42:40.760 --> 00:42:43.200 align:center
- You said "womens."
- One "womens," man!

00:42:43.680 --> 00:42:45.120 align:center
- One "womens," brother!
- What would you know?

00:42:45.920 --> 00:42:47.080 align:center
Hell in a cell!

00:42:48.400 --> 00:42:49.320 align:center
So…

00:42:50.400 --> 00:42:51.320 align:center
Please come here.

00:42:51.880 --> 00:42:54.960 align:center
So, the thing is, this is our friend.

00:42:55.040 --> 00:42:57.480 align:center
- Her name… Sakshi <i>ji.</i>
- Sakshi.

00:42:58.080 --> 00:42:59.120 align:center
This is Sakshi <i>ji.</i>

00:42:59.360 --> 00:43:01.000 align:center
- She hates men--
- Can I touch you?

00:43:01.080 --> 00:43:01.960 align:center
Okay, you're real.

00:43:02.200 --> 00:43:03.320 align:center
Sorry.

00:43:03.400 --> 00:43:05.040 align:center
- That's so sweet, man!
- This can't just--

00:43:05.120 --> 00:43:05.960 align:center
I love you.

00:43:06.280 --> 00:43:09.640 align:center
Shivam <i>ji,</i> this is Sakshi <i>ji.</i>
She hates "mens."

00:43:10.000 --> 00:43:12.440 align:center
- Okay? And--
- Okay. And grammar as well, right?

00:43:15.600 --> 00:43:16.680 align:center
Shut up!

00:43:19.440 --> 00:43:20.280 align:center
So…

00:43:21.720 --> 00:43:23.720 align:center
So, I'd like to see a debate
between you and her

00:43:24.120 --> 00:43:25.720 align:center
about "mens" that…

00:43:26.240 --> 00:43:28.520 align:center
- "Mens" are also decent people.
- Okay.

00:43:28.800 --> 00:43:30.680 align:center
- A debate with him?
- Alright, no matter who wins today,

00:43:30.760 --> 00:43:32.520 align:center
grammar has already lost, guys.

00:43:32.600 --> 00:43:33.560 align:center
Okay, fine!

00:43:33.640 --> 00:43:36.160 align:center
You can't do anything with
good grammar, okay?

00:43:36.240 --> 00:43:37.200 align:center
So…

00:43:37.280 --> 00:43:39.640 align:center
- Let's…
- Hindi is our native language!

00:43:39.720 --> 00:43:41.000 align:center
Okay, let's debate in Hindi.

00:43:42.640 --> 00:43:44.080 align:center
Let's debate in Hindi!

00:43:44.760 --> 00:43:46.000 align:center
May I begin?

00:43:46.320 --> 00:43:48.280 align:center
You don't start. Let her start.

00:43:48.840 --> 00:43:50.320 align:center
Trust me. Please start.

00:43:51.360 --> 00:43:53.960 align:center
Do you think your wife should be
cooking at home?

00:43:54.600 --> 00:43:55.800 align:center
Yes, of course.

00:43:55.880 --> 00:43:57.160 align:center
Why on earth should she?

00:43:57.360 --> 00:43:59.240 align:center
How will she cook outside?
She'll have to cook at home.

00:44:00.680 --> 00:44:01.600 align:center
Shut up!

00:44:08.480 --> 00:44:11.080 align:center
Alright, I mean,
she cannot cook outside.

00:44:11.160 --> 00:44:12.720 align:center
Okay. 1-0.

00:44:14.360 --> 00:44:15.920 align:center
I was always on zero!

00:44:16.000 --> 00:44:16.920 align:center
Second point.

00:44:17.640 --> 00:44:19.000 align:center
Come on! I believe in you, Sakshi!

00:44:19.520 --> 00:44:22.640 align:center
Why are you always asking girls
to have sex with you?

00:44:24.200 --> 00:44:25.120 align:center
You see…

00:44:26.120 --> 00:44:29.800 align:center
I wanna make sure
the world's population is more,

00:44:29.880 --> 00:44:32.480 align:center
- so I keep asking for sex.
- Oh, my God!

00:44:36.360 --> 00:44:39.000 align:center
Well then, go after someone else.
Why are you always after girls?

00:44:39.480 --> 00:44:41.640 align:center
- Sorry?
- Why are you chasing girls for that?

00:44:41.720 --> 00:44:43.640 align:center
The moment you see a girl's curves,
you go, "Oh, my God! I like you."

00:44:43.720 --> 00:44:45.880 align:center
I think your grasp of biology
is just as weak.

00:44:48.120 --> 00:44:50.280 align:center
I was a science student, alright?

00:44:56.480 --> 00:44:58.560 align:center
- How do you like him?
- Yuck!

00:45:01.240 --> 00:45:04.440 align:center
I told you I like tall mens.
I don't date short guys.

00:45:06.240 --> 00:45:08.400 align:center
And sir, how do you like her?

00:45:08.560 --> 00:45:09.400 align:center
She's nice.

00:45:09.920 --> 00:45:11.960 align:center
- Heard that? He--
- From a distance.

00:45:17.400 --> 00:45:19.400 align:center
I'd willingly keep my distance.

00:45:28.600 --> 00:45:29.600 align:center
Look at the men!

00:45:30.640 --> 00:45:32.680 align:center
Thank you so much
for joining us, Sakshi <i>ji.</i>

00:45:33.640 --> 00:45:35.800 align:center
- I love you.
- I love you too.

00:45:37.120 --> 00:45:39.640 align:center
A huge round of applause for Shivam Verma!

00:45:42.000 --> 00:45:42.920 align:center
Yashraj.

00:45:43.480 --> 00:45:45.320 align:center
Nine, bro. Very funny.

00:45:45.400 --> 00:45:46.360 align:center
You're hilarious.

00:45:48.120 --> 00:45:49.160 align:center
You're too good. So, ten.

00:45:49.760 --> 00:45:51.320 align:center
- Ten by Tanmay Bhat.
- Yeah.

00:45:54.120 --> 00:45:55.040 align:center
Nine, brother.

00:45:55.680 --> 00:45:56.520 align:center
Nine!

00:45:57.560 --> 00:45:59.200 align:center
A very happy eight.

00:45:59.280 --> 00:46:01.040 align:center
- Why eight, man?
- I'm happy.

00:46:02.040 --> 00:46:05.240 align:center
- Eight.
- Bro, I fucking loved your performance.

00:46:06.400 --> 00:46:08.680 align:center
But I don't think
you've given yourself a ten.

00:46:08.760 --> 00:46:10.440 align:center
I would like to give you a ten.
How much should I give him, guys?

00:46:10.520 --> 00:46:13.600 align:center
- Eight.
- Nine.

00:46:13.680 --> 00:46:15.320 align:center
7.5 to average it out.

00:46:15.400 --> 00:46:17.080 align:center
- Nine.
- Nine.

00:46:17.160 --> 00:46:19.040 align:center
- He must have given himself an eight…
- I don't know.

00:46:19.120 --> 00:46:20.280 align:center
or a nine. Maybe.

00:46:20.960 --> 00:46:23.040 align:center
How much do you think he has written?
I want him to win, bro.

00:46:23.160 --> 00:46:25.440 align:center
- Eight.
- Must be 8.5.

00:46:25.520 --> 00:46:27.840 align:center
What should I do?
What should his average be?

00:46:27.920 --> 00:46:29.040 align:center
Make it 8.5.

00:46:29.120 --> 00:46:30.600 align:center
Eight!

00:46:30.680 --> 00:46:31.680 align:center
- 8.5.
- Eight?

00:46:31.760 --> 00:46:32.880 align:center
- 8.5.
- 8.5.

00:46:32.960 --> 00:46:34.440 align:center
Eight or 8.5?

00:46:34.520 --> 00:46:35.800 align:center
- Eight!
- Okay.

00:46:36.040 --> 00:46:38.440 align:center
How many people for 8.5?
Make some noise.

00:46:39.960 --> 00:46:41.480 align:center
How many people for eight?
Make some noise.

00:46:43.280 --> 00:46:45.760 align:center
Alright then. I'm giving you a four.

00:46:46.560 --> 00:46:50.520 align:center
- To make it… eight.
- That makes your average…

00:46:51.320 --> 00:46:52.160 align:center
eight.

00:46:55.800 --> 00:47:00.040 align:center
- Let's go!
- Let's fucking go!

00:47:05.840 --> 00:47:06.760 align:center
Come on!

00:47:06.880 --> 00:47:08.800 align:center
Let's fucking go!

00:47:08.880 --> 00:47:09.880 align:center
<i>Shamone!</i>

00:47:10.720 --> 00:47:11.960 align:center
What a fucking guy, bro!

00:47:12.080 --> 00:47:13.080 align:center
You're so talented!

00:47:13.320 --> 00:47:15.600 align:center
You win 1,00,000 rupees!

00:47:18.640 --> 00:47:20.160 align:center
Is there anything you'd like to say?

00:47:20.560 --> 00:47:23.920 align:center
I just love Samay Raina, and I'm
really happy to just meet him, guys!

00:47:25.840 --> 00:47:27.640 align:center
How can you hate "mens"?

00:47:29.080 --> 00:47:32.120 align:center
I love you! Make some noise
for all the "mens" of the panel!

00:47:32.840 --> 00:47:36.920 align:center
Raghu Ram, Tanmay Bhat,
Yashraj, and Vishal Dadlani!

00:47:37.320 --> 00:47:40.440 align:center
That was <i>India's Got Latent!</i>

00:47:44.880 --> 00:47:48.120 align:center
Lately, people have been saying that
Tanmay <i>bhai</i> makes low-effort content.

00:47:48.480 --> 00:47:50.080 align:center
- But I disagree. Because I think…
- Of course.

00:47:50.160 --> 00:47:52.240 align:center
"low effort" still implies
some effort was made.

00:47:58.600 --> 00:48:00.920 align:center
But no, Tanmay <i>bhai</i> is the real OG.
We call him an OG.

00:48:01.280 --> 00:48:03.400 align:center
"Oh gee, make some good content!"

00:48:06.160 --> 00:48:09.360 align:center
This man made fun of Sunil Pal,
only to become him!

00:48:11.400 --> 00:48:12.880 align:center
But thank you so much
for coming, Tanmay <i>bhai.</i>

00:48:12.960 --> 00:48:14.440 align:center
- Of course, man.
- Big round of applause for Tanmay Bhat.

00:48:15.080 --> 00:48:15.920 align:center
Let's go.

00:48:18.720 --> 00:48:20.120 align:center
"Oh gee, make some good content!"

00:48:20.200 --> 00:48:22.600 align:center
"Oh gee, make some nice content!"

00:48:25.000 --> 00:48:26.880 align:center
This asshole will edit this part out.
I'm telling you.

00:48:27.520 --> 00:48:28.480 align:center
This joke won't make it in.

00:48:29.120 --> 00:48:32.440 align:center
Speaking of editing things out,
Yashraj is here.

00:48:44.800 --> 00:48:46.800 align:center
- Alright, that was all. Thank you so much.
- Alright!

00:48:48.600 --> 00:48:49.600 align:center
Thank you, thank you.

00:48:49.840 --> 00:48:50.680 align:center
So…

00:48:51.080 --> 00:48:52.520 align:center
- Thank you.
- When did you get here from Hogwarts?

00:48:54.880 --> 00:48:56.360 align:center
Doesn't he resemble a Dementor?

00:48:58.120 --> 00:49:00.520 align:center
So, tell us about your pain,
and let us monetize it.

00:49:03.960 --> 00:49:05.360 align:center
What happened to you?

00:49:06.560 --> 00:49:08.120 align:center
I was stuck in a situationship.

00:49:08.720 --> 00:49:12.960 align:center
And like, basically,
she cheated on me. First.

00:49:13.920 --> 00:49:17.160 align:center
She cheated on you?
You said that she cheated on you <i>first.</i>

00:49:17.400 --> 00:49:19.600 align:center
- Yes.
- And then, you also cheated on her?

00:49:19.680 --> 00:49:22.360 align:center
- No, she cheated on him again.
- Second time! Oh, okay.

00:49:23.120 --> 00:49:24.080 align:center
Okay.

00:49:25.800 --> 00:49:27.680 align:center
I mean, yeah, she cheated on me
the second time too.

00:49:27.760 --> 00:49:29.640 align:center
As I said, it went on for a year.

00:49:29.720 --> 00:49:31.800 align:center
My question to you is, did she--

00:49:31.880 --> 00:49:34.480 align:center
I'm seriously asking you.
I'm not making a joke, I swear.

00:49:34.760 --> 00:49:38.600 align:center
Did she ever actually know
you two were in a relationship?

00:49:39.160 --> 00:49:42.280 align:center
Did you ever have that conversation
where she said,

00:49:42.360 --> 00:49:44.200 align:center
"Yes, we're in a relationship"?

00:49:44.280 --> 00:49:45.560 align:center
- Did she ever say that?
- No.

00:49:45.720 --> 00:49:47.160 align:center
So, what the fuck is this?

00:49:47.440 --> 00:49:48.360 align:center
No, I…

00:49:48.480 --> 00:49:50.000 align:center
What the fuck is going on, man?

00:49:50.080 --> 00:49:51.800 align:center
Brother, please help us understand.

00:49:51.960 --> 00:49:55.240 align:center
Look, if there is-- We were dating.

00:49:55.360 --> 00:49:57.440 align:center
- We were dating--
- But you're calling it a situationship,

00:49:57.520 --> 00:49:58.440 align:center
not a relationship.

00:49:58.520 --> 00:50:00.640 align:center
- Yes.
- Right now, I'm eating chips with Tanmay.

00:50:01.520 --> 00:50:02.520 align:center
We are not dating.

00:50:05.840 --> 00:50:07.800 align:center
That's cheating.
A third person is involved.

00:50:14.800 --> 00:50:18.520 align:center
It says here that you've had
a lot of paranormal experiences.

00:50:18.640 --> 00:50:19.600 align:center
- Yeah.
- Come on!

00:50:20.320 --> 00:50:22.200 align:center
- Yeah, I have.
- So, please tell us about it.

00:50:23.640 --> 00:50:26.040 align:center
- Okay.
- Those were all situationships.

00:50:26.840 --> 00:50:28.320 align:center
None of them fucking exist!

00:50:28.400 --> 00:50:31.200 align:center
- Everybody ghosted him!
- Do you think--

00:50:54.720 --> 00:50:55.880 align:center
Fuck you, Samay Raina.

00:50:59.240 --> 00:51:00.440 align:center
What the fuck?

00:51:01.480 --> 00:51:05.080 align:center
I feel like I'm watching the world's
worst fucking screensaver!

00:51:05.680 --> 00:51:07.600 align:center
Was Andheri Sports Complex shut today?

00:51:09.720 --> 00:51:13.680 align:center
Dude, did you just drag some
random guy off the street onto the stage?

00:51:14.000 --> 00:51:15.720 align:center
Yeah, what is the process of getting here?

00:51:15.800 --> 00:51:17.040 align:center
- What the fuck?
- There's got to be something!

00:51:17.560 --> 00:51:18.440 align:center
Something!

00:51:20.120 --> 00:51:21.840 align:center
That was really bad-minton.

00:51:27.720 --> 00:51:28.800 align:center
Prakash Paad.

00:51:32.200 --> 00:51:33.040 align:center
His name--

00:51:33.440 --> 00:51:36.840 align:center
His name is Makhija,
and his actions live up to it.

00:51:36.920 --> 00:51:39.400 align:center
Most delusional thing
you believe about your future.

00:51:39.480 --> 00:51:40.680 align:center
"I'm far from delusion,

00:51:40.760 --> 00:51:43.480 align:center
but to be able to dance
with Samay Raina <i>ji,</i>

00:51:43.800 --> 00:51:45.400 align:center
or get arrested with him."

00:51:46.400 --> 00:51:47.600 align:center
Come on!

00:51:47.680 --> 00:51:49.840 align:center
- Come on, brother!
- You want to dance with me?

00:51:51.560 --> 00:51:57.120 align:center
Samay! Samay! Samay!

00:52:16.640 --> 00:52:18.680 align:center
How can you hate "mens"?
Come on!

00:52:19.720 --> 00:52:21.080 align:center
Come on!