WEBVTT

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Hmm. Who wrote this?

00:00:19.722 --> 00:00:21.405 align:center
Sir, I wrote this.

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-So, you wrote this?
-Yes, sir.

00:00:26.173 --> 00:00:28.226 align:center
-Good. Very good.
-Thank you, sir.

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What thank you? This is rubbish.

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If you want to write this garbage,
then go to Mumbai and write films.

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There is a lot of scope there.

00:00:36.035 --> 00:00:37.784 align:center
These kinds of people become engineers,

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miss deadlines and then
make roads with potholes.

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And scooters get stuck in those potholes
and the dean

00:00:42.863 --> 00:00:44.079 align:center
will say you are late again.

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Idiot. Fix it!

00:00:48.109 --> 00:00:49.536 align:center
May I come in, sir?

00:00:50.808 --> 00:00:52.877 align:center
What is going on here?

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Who ordered food in the class?

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Who is that delivery guy?
Whose food is this?

00:00:59.313 --> 00:01:02.156 align:center
I am a final-year student, sir.
Ankit Pandey.

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Actually, my attendance
was short in practicals, so

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I need your signature
on this application, sir.

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Otherwise, I will be debarred
from the examination.

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I have never seen you before today.
You haven't shown your face.

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Sir, how will you remember
my face among so many people?

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Shut up!

00:01:24.615 --> 00:01:28.103 align:center
Three boys come here
from your class, CV III.

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I even remember their Insta handles.

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Innocent Devil Aditya, Elon Musquitiyo,

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and _KissmyEx.

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What were you doing for so many days?

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Studies, sir. It's my final year.

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Shut up. Don't talk nonsense.
I'll tell you what you were doing.

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You were partying.

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You were watching
movies with your girlfriend.

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Oh, sorry. You won't have a girlfriend.

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The CS guys have girlfriends. Right?

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You were spending your father's money.

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The money which that hard-working
man earned after working overtime,

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taking extra classes, costing
him his blood and sweat.

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Now just like you spent that
hard-working man's money,

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treat this the same way.
Come on. Blow on it.

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-No, sir.
-Go on. Blow on it.

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Oh, it nosedived just like your career.

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Sir, if I get debarred, I won't be
able to sit for my placements.

00:03:01.974 --> 00:03:06.022 align:center
So? You are used to
sitting idle for three years.

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Now, use it.

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-Sir, please, one last chance.
-Get out.

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-Sir, only one...
-Get out!

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And, you. I will make you dive
into this curing tank. Fix the reading.

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-Sir, mine is done.
-Shut up.

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He is done.

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You must be thinking that
I am the villain of this story.

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I am. I have to be.
Otherwise, these guys won't behave.

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If there were no villains
ruling Gotham City,

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then Mr Wayne's son would have been
indulging in debauchery like them too.

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But their fathers don't even
have that kind of money.

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Still, look at their attitudes.

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There is so much cut-throat
competition outside.

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Kids do so much to get that
extra edge. Like internships.

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Please, sir, let me intern for your
company. I can work for free, sir.

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You are my son.
I am not going to pay you anyway.

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Come to the office tomorrow
morning at sharp nine o'clock.

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They contest elections.

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Jatin, move forward.
We are all with you.

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Jatin, move forward.
We are all with you.

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They embarrass themselves in fests.

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I can't open my eyes
before noon nowadays.

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I could only sleep in your lap, mom.

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They don't even know ABCD.

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But they are well-versed in C++.

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And most kids do the thing

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that takes the least amount of effort
and is the most fun. Wasting time.

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And then how quickly the four years of

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engineering fly while
they are drinking tea,

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they barely realize it.

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Is the order ready?

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You know that I have brought the can.

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If you drink black coffee with this,
you'll enjoy it more.

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Uncle, you have made such bad tea again.

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I gave you the recipe just yesterday.

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Where do I have the time
to read recipes, Jhantoo?

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You should have made a reel.
Five incredible ways to make tea.

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Let me get the stamp of unemployment
first. Then I will make reels.

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And do you want to improve
your business or not?

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So, when you boil water, add
ginger first and everything else later.

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-Make a good cup of tea for me.
-Okay. I will try.

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People don't know how to make tea here.

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-Try this. -A lot of people
don't know how to make tea.

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It's hot.

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Slowly. It's hot.

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You are impossible.

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Here you go. Go on.

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You eat as well.

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No. Get away from me.

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Eat it. This is what you'll sell
after the interview.

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You are here again, Miss Sarcasm.

00:06:10.336 --> 00:06:11.716 align:center
Yes, I am.

00:06:11.932 --> 00:06:15.229 align:center
Guys, only a few days are left.
Where are your CVs?

00:06:15.319 --> 00:06:19.284 align:center
I made my CV in five different
languages and sent it already.

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And I even wrote in Python. When the
code compiles, it will print on its own.

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That one is really cool. You'll see.

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My dad has already uploaded my CV on the
matrimonial site. I'll send that link.

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Really? Then what will the interviewer
ask you? How much dowry you'll take?

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Shall we discuss it?

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The professor isn't allowing
me to take the exam.

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Upload my CV on
the matrimonial site too.

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All these tantrums are only so
the professors can dominate us.

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They'll boss us around,
make us cry and then sign.

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So, Akku, if you have a good CV,
then please send it to me.

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Jhantoo, you can't copy. It is very
important for the CV to be unique.

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Just like people notice a stolen bio
with dating profiles,

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similarly,
the interviewer will notice too.

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Well, I have a lot of experience
on dating apps.

00:07:04.810 --> 00:07:07.618 align:center
Tell me, is there any such
company coming whose

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employee recently left
and they are heartbroken?

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And their self-esteem is a little low?

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Such a vulnerable company
will hire me in a jiffy.

00:07:16.085 --> 00:07:18.644 align:center
Yes, but the problem
is if that employee returns

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in a week or so,
the scoundrels will fire me.

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Check this tea now. Is it good?

00:07:26.708 --> 00:07:31.208 align:center
Wow. Great. But it still
has scope for improvement.

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-Okay.
-Next time.

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Listen, order a cold drink
for me, please.

00:07:35.231 --> 00:07:38.722 align:center
No. You just had tea and
now you want a cold drink.

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-You'll catch a cold and
then I'll catch it too. No! -No.

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No.

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How will you catch a cold
if she catches a cold?

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How will I catch it?

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Close proximity.
Seventh-grade science, Akku. Come on.

00:07:58.829 --> 00:08:02.275 align:center
But Akansha is the one who
is in close proximity to her.

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So, she is the one who
will catch a cold, right?

00:08:04.974 --> 00:08:06.073 align:center
Detective.

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-Akansha will catch it.
-Yes, Akansha...

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-You keep scolding
Jhantoo all the time, right? -Yes.

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-Yes, so?
-So...

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So, the particles of your
saliva will fall on Jhantoo.

00:08:19.592 --> 00:08:21.520 align:center
Yes, they will fall on Jhantoo.

00:08:21.610 --> 00:08:25.481 align:center
-And Ankit is in close proximity
to Jhantoo. -Ankit.

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-And Ankit...
-In Ankit's close radius is Jaat...

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-Jaat. -Yes, and I am the one
who hangs out with Jaat.

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-Complete circle.
-So, I am the one who'll catch it.

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-Like this.
-This is how a virus works.

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It's basic. They teach this in
the sixth grade. Come on, Akku.

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-How are we close?
-They teach that in sixth grade.

00:08:41.950 --> 00:08:43.933 align:center
Did you guys get high this morning?

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-No, no, Chirag.
-No.

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-Come. Let's get a cold drink.
-Yes.

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-This is what happens when you
read too much. -It's basic, guys.

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Get me a samosa.

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-One shouldn't study so much.
-Yes.

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This is getting too difficult.
Shall we tell them the truth?

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What should we tell them?
That we have been dating for two months

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but we didn't tell our friends
because they'll tease us?

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Terrifying. But we'll have
to do something, right?

00:09:10.098 --> 00:09:11.394 align:center
What should we do?

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What if our love story began just now,

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not two months ago?

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-Yes.
-Yes.

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We can do this. Let's create a fake love
story for our real love story.

00:09:29.798 --> 00:09:31.154 align:center
-This sounds right.
-Yeah.

00:09:31.267 --> 00:09:34.019 align:center
-My wisdom is rubbing off on you.
What will you have? -Shut up.

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Experience will be covered
by the internship.

00:09:35.981 --> 00:09:38.451 align:center
So, that's done.
What's left are achievements and skills.

00:09:38.548 --> 00:09:41.336 align:center
So, just write whatever random
things you have done in college.

00:09:41.419 --> 00:09:43.910 align:center
Write down whatever
you have done as J Shah.

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Jaat, some kids from the batch took
your help to make a car, right?

00:09:48.856 --> 00:09:50.483 align:center
Yes, I stole some petrol
and gave it to them.

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-Perfect. Write that.
-Petrol?

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Mention that as your experience.

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Okay? And, Ankit, you...

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-I have done things too...
-Yes, but...

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I... No, I can't mention that.

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Actually, I have done a lot
of things in the past four years.

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So, I will accumulate it and send it.

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I will make my CV.

00:10:28.877 --> 00:10:31.107 align:center
Yes, and use your certificates.

00:10:31.837 --> 00:10:34.323 align:center
Yes, I will do that.

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'Hostel Daze.'

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'Hostel Daze.'

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What should I write
as my career objective in my CV?

00:10:59.422 --> 00:11:01.779 align:center
Just write the reason
you are doing engineering.

00:11:03.512 --> 00:11:05.692 align:center
Write that you are fulfilling
your parent's dream.

00:11:05.782 --> 00:11:06.791 align:center
What?

00:11:09.090 --> 00:11:11.036 align:center
-Should I write that too?
-Hey, don't copy me.

00:11:11.126 --> 00:11:13.077 align:center
-Don't copy it.
-I'll be right back.

00:11:56.579 --> 00:12:00.430 align:center
Reaching new heights
in career by scaling peaks

00:12:00.520 --> 00:12:04.257 align:center
of achievements to attain
higher altitude in industry.

00:12:04.347 --> 00:12:07.304 align:center
You asshole, are you a mountaineer?

00:12:07.863 --> 00:12:11.175 align:center
It seems like you are going to climb
Mount Everest. Cool. Show me more.

00:12:11.426 --> 00:12:13.579 align:center
Your CV says you went to IIT Bombay.

00:12:13.873 --> 00:12:15.628 align:center
Yes, I did. To meet my sister.

00:12:15.811 --> 00:12:17.065 align:center
Deduct rupees fifty for this.

00:12:17.155 --> 00:12:19.318 align:center
You have written here that
you installed a solar power

00:12:19.371 --> 00:12:21.813 align:center
clothes dryer in the hostel premises.
When did you do that?

00:12:21.903 --> 00:12:24.309 align:center
Who put the clothesline
outside to dry clothes?

00:12:26.426 --> 00:12:31.977 align:center
Look, guys, just as our relatives
praise their kids in front of our moms,

00:12:32.067 --> 00:12:35.382 align:center
highlight your achievements
in the same way.

00:12:35.472 --> 00:12:37.771 align:center
And no one will write
under achievements that

00:12:37.844 --> 00:12:40.679 align:center
they wooed their senior.
I am talking to you.

00:12:40.769 --> 00:12:45.381 align:center
Yes, brother, greetings. I called
because you said you'll send me the CV.

00:12:45.975 --> 00:12:50.381 align:center
No, no. I won't copy it.
I will merely refer to it. Yes.

00:12:50.706 --> 00:12:53.882 align:center
No, no. I am not overconfident at all.
I am fully prepared.

00:12:53.972 --> 00:12:56.679 align:center
Yes, yes. You'll send the CV, right?

00:12:57.422 --> 00:12:59.909 align:center
Yes, yes, please send it.
Thank you, brother.

00:12:59.999 --> 00:13:01.247 align:center
We got the CV. Come on.

00:13:18.198 --> 00:13:19.729 align:center
-Chirag.
-Yes?

00:13:20.499 --> 00:13:22.471 align:center
-Chirag.
-Who is it?

00:13:22.808 --> 00:13:25.132 align:center
-It's me, Ankit.
-Yes, I am coming.

00:13:29.771 --> 00:13:33.414 align:center
-What?
-Help me make my CV.

00:13:33.771 --> 00:13:36.311 align:center
Come later. I have an
online yoga class going on.

00:13:36.401 --> 00:13:39.565 align:center
Just tell me what to write
under the strength section.

00:13:39.655 --> 00:13:41.587 align:center
Just write something interesting.

00:13:42.581 --> 00:13:44.970 align:center
Write about your problem-solving skills.

00:13:45.060 --> 00:13:47.814 align:center
Adaptive and flexible by nature.

00:13:47.904 --> 00:13:50.139 align:center
Eye for detail. Write things like that.

00:13:50.229 --> 00:13:52.301 align:center
-And what about...
-Now come later.

00:13:52.712 --> 00:13:55.036 align:center
-My teacher is waiting.
-Can you just...

00:14:00.329 --> 00:14:04.693 align:center
It's D for detail, not I for detail.
Asshole.

00:14:04.985 --> 00:14:09.331 align:center
So, what does this mean? That if you
don't want to drown in shallow water,

00:14:09.559 --> 00:14:12.484 align:center
you must go on this boat because
it has concrete along with what?

00:14:12.574 --> 00:14:14.520 align:center
-Admixtures.
-Good.

00:14:15.059 --> 00:14:17.034 align:center
It seems you will pass this year.

00:14:17.199 --> 00:14:20.097 align:center
Everyone, write down admixtures.
Do you know how to spell it?

00:14:20.187 --> 00:14:21.521 align:center
May I come in, sir?

00:14:22.659 --> 00:14:23.761 align:center
Come.

00:14:27.003 --> 00:14:29.273 align:center
I have already refused you, haven't I?

00:14:29.803 --> 00:14:32.030 align:center
Sir, please. Sir, accept this.

00:14:32.462 --> 00:14:34.516 align:center
If I can't appear for my exams,
I'll fail, sir.

00:14:34.606 --> 00:14:38.463 align:center
Son, you have already failed in life.

00:14:39.689 --> 00:14:41.879 align:center
Go. Prepare for next year. Go.

00:14:41.969 --> 00:14:45.689 align:center
Sir, it's just a signature.
It's a small thing.

00:14:46.108 --> 00:14:49.067 align:center
It's just a small thing, is it?

00:14:49.742 --> 00:14:52.797 align:center
Alright. So, you guys, decide now.

00:14:52.887 --> 00:14:56.608 align:center
Either he will stay in this class or me.
It's just a small thing.

00:15:03.963 --> 00:15:05.717 align:center
-Okay.
-Let's go.

00:15:08.698 --> 00:15:11.098 align:center
Hey! Come back!

00:15:12.392 --> 00:15:13.617 align:center
Idiots.

00:15:14.736 --> 00:15:16.708 align:center
I knew you guys will do this.

00:15:17.519 --> 00:15:18.938 align:center
I am not going anywhere.

00:15:19.772 --> 00:15:24.871 align:center
And if he doesn't leave this class now,
you will all be marked absent.

00:15:25.183 --> 00:15:26.372 align:center
Now, you decide.

00:15:26.462 --> 00:15:29.034 align:center
-Please go, man.
-Please go.

00:15:29.124 --> 00:15:31.574 align:center
-We need attendance.
-Just go, man.

00:15:34.438 --> 00:15:36.765 align:center
Write it down. Admixtures.

00:15:44.357 --> 00:15:46.830 align:center
We'll get the doctor's certificate
next time.

00:15:47.405 --> 00:15:48.765 align:center
Everyone does it.

00:15:49.292 --> 00:15:51.826 align:center
Then this scoundrel will sign
as well as show sympathy.

00:15:51.916 --> 00:15:53.530 align:center
Sympathy? Him?

00:15:54.091 --> 00:15:56.858 align:center
He must have scolded
his newborn baby too for attendance.

00:15:56.948 --> 00:16:00.294 align:center
Baby, I am seeing your
face for the first time.

00:16:00.384 --> 00:16:03.667 align:center
Who takes this long?
Go. Try in your next life.

00:16:06.573 --> 00:16:09.326 align:center
He shouts in front of
the first-year students.

00:16:11.202 --> 00:16:12.404 align:center
They must be thinking that I am a loser.

00:16:12.604 --> 00:16:15.037 align:center
No, the first-year students respect us.

00:16:15.127 --> 00:16:17.604 align:center
What respect?
Look, how they were staring.

00:16:17.694 --> 00:16:19.749 align:center
Good morning, brother. Good morning.

00:16:20.493 --> 00:16:22.520 align:center
Brother, I need your help.

00:16:23.331 --> 00:16:26.608 align:center
-Regarding what?
-I want your fluid mechanics notes.

00:16:30.717 --> 00:16:32.364 align:center
Are you sure you want my notes?

00:16:32.454 --> 00:16:34.094 align:center
Yes, brother. Since you
are in the fourth year,

00:16:34.180 --> 00:16:36.481 align:center
it will be helpful for me.
Please give them to me.

00:16:37.182 --> 00:16:39.667 align:center
Okay. I'll mail them to you.

00:16:39.757 --> 00:16:43.074 align:center
Who reads emails? Do one thing.

00:16:43.643 --> 00:16:45.395 align:center
Put them on this.

00:16:48.091 --> 00:16:51.672 align:center
It's a two-MB file.
Do one thing. Keep this.

00:16:51.762 --> 00:16:55.236 align:center
Text me your id. I'll mail it to you.
Okay? Go now.

00:16:57.044 --> 00:16:58.063 align:center
Go.

00:17:00.962 --> 00:17:04.615 align:center
-You are respected in the department.
-A few of them do respect me.

00:17:04.700 --> 00:17:06.643 align:center
Take advantage of him. Talk to him.

00:17:07.048 --> 00:17:08.934 align:center
-Should I go back?
-He is coming.

00:17:09.024 --> 00:17:10.458 align:center
-Brother.
-Tell me.

00:17:11.663 --> 00:17:13.893 align:center
You want my number, right? Take it.

00:17:13.983 --> 00:17:15.717 align:center
No, no, I have your number.

00:17:15.911 --> 00:17:18.238 align:center
I was saying that if
you could transfer your

00:17:18.864 --> 00:17:21.556 align:center
exclusive collection to
this along with the notes.

00:17:24.890 --> 00:17:25.978 align:center
Which collection?

00:17:26.042 --> 00:17:29.316 align:center
The one that is only seen
by your close circle.

00:17:29.789 --> 00:17:31.951 align:center
We have already seen the other one
a couple of times.

00:17:35.482 --> 00:17:38.793 align:center
-Come here.
-Yes, brother.

00:17:39.485 --> 00:17:41.546 align:center
-You asshole.
-What happened, brother?

00:17:41.636 --> 00:17:43.944 align:center
-Am I an idiot?
-No, no.

00:17:45.398 --> 00:17:47.924 align:center
Do one thing. Tell me your room number.

00:17:48.014 --> 00:17:50.458 align:center
-No, brother, I won't tell you. No!
-Tell me your room number.

00:17:50.548 --> 00:17:51.880 align:center
E 33.

00:17:52.880 --> 00:17:55.033 align:center
E 33.

00:17:55.712 --> 00:17:57.688 align:center
Alien sex.

00:17:58.072 --> 00:18:00.609 align:center
-Armpit porn.
-Which porn?

00:18:00.933 --> 00:18:04.198 align:center
-Armpit.
-Armpit porn? Show me your armpit.

00:18:04.879 --> 00:18:07.193 align:center
What's this? Hairy men.

00:18:07.283 --> 00:18:10.220 align:center
-This is cool. He is fashionable.
-Look at his choice.

00:18:12.014 --> 00:18:13.862 align:center
What were you doing last night at nine?

00:18:13.952 --> 00:18:15.743 align:center
I wasn't doing anything.

00:18:15.927 --> 00:18:18.911 align:center
-My best friend's girlfriend?
-No, that opened by mistake.

00:18:19.001 --> 00:18:20.413 align:center
-Should I tell your best friend?
-No, no.

00:18:20.503 --> 00:18:22.121 align:center
Hey.

00:18:23.753 --> 00:18:26.899 align:center
You asshole, stay within your limit.
Okay?

00:18:26.989 --> 00:18:28.813 align:center
Yes, brother, I was saying that...

00:18:28.903 --> 00:18:31.408 align:center
What? Get out of here, asshole.

00:18:31.970 --> 00:18:33.614 align:center
-Brother, my hard disk.
-You won't get it back.

00:18:33.704 --> 00:18:35.441 align:center
Sir, the guys from my wing contributed
to buy it. They will thrash me badly.

00:18:35.531 --> 00:18:40.078 align:center
I will smash it so hard that its F drive
and your sex drive will both be deleted.

00:18:40.184 --> 00:18:42.331 align:center
Get out of here. Run, asshole.

00:18:43.378 --> 00:18:44.726 align:center
I will punch you, asshole.

00:18:49.050 --> 00:18:51.223 align:center
-Did you see that?
-Yes, bro, I saw it.

00:18:51.439 --> 00:18:53.244 align:center
They all think that I am a loser.

00:18:54.185 --> 00:18:56.672 align:center
You can laugh. Yes, keep laughing.

00:19:01.990 --> 00:19:05.525 align:center
The professor was right.
What did he say wrong?

00:19:06.801 --> 00:19:09.439 align:center
What have I accomplished
in the past three years?

00:19:11.157 --> 00:19:15.784 align:center
That is why I am not
able to write a single page.

00:19:16.249 --> 00:19:17.774 align:center
Not a single page in my CV.

00:19:17.864 --> 00:19:19.958 align:center
Let it be, bro.

00:19:20.800 --> 00:19:22.736 align:center
We'll do something about that.

00:19:22.826 --> 00:19:25.957 align:center
-Evil spirit, get out of my friend's
body. -What are you doing?

00:19:26.047 --> 00:19:28.020 align:center
I will drive this evil spirit
out of your body today.

00:19:28.110 --> 00:19:30.877 align:center
-There is no evil spirit.
-Yes, there is.

00:19:31.310 --> 00:19:34.705 align:center
You were absolutely normal till 21 years
of age. Now, you want a girl too.

00:19:35.310 --> 00:19:38.337 align:center
Oh, Jaat, my brother.

00:19:38.427 --> 00:19:41.105 align:center
Not a girl, a gf. Yes.

00:19:41.515 --> 00:19:43.850 align:center
And it's normal nowadays.

00:19:44.423 --> 00:19:49.406 align:center
Look, only the chosen ones have
girlfriends in engineering life.

00:19:49.828 --> 00:19:52.640 align:center
Don't you want us to
be the chosen ones too?

00:19:53.883 --> 00:19:58.986 align:center
Last year, I could proudly say that
at least three out of us four are safe.

00:20:00.035 --> 00:20:01.873 align:center
But this year, you lost your armour too.

00:20:05.169 --> 00:20:08.391 align:center
Now, tell me this,
are you yet to choose a girl?

00:20:08.481 --> 00:20:11.007 align:center
-Or have you done that too without me?
-No!

00:20:11.742 --> 00:20:13.115 align:center
That remains to be done.

00:20:13.205 --> 00:20:15.763 align:center
Who will you do it with?
Someone from our group?

00:20:16.076 --> 00:20:18.303 align:center
Yes. Who would I date though?

00:20:18.865 --> 00:20:20.584 align:center
I mean, in our group.

00:20:21.546 --> 00:20:25.017 align:center
Ankit is your ex and I am over him.

00:20:26.508 --> 00:20:29.287 align:center
-Jaat.
-Oh, he likes boys.

00:20:29.377 --> 00:20:33.168 align:center
Yes, so, who else is there?

00:20:33.394 --> 00:20:34.973 align:center
Jhantoo?

00:20:39.339 --> 00:20:43.318 align:center
-The only one left is Chirag.
-What do you think about him?

00:20:43.544 --> 00:20:44.787 align:center
Hmm.

00:20:47.177 --> 00:20:49.674 align:center
Nabomita? She is the one you like?

00:20:49.764 --> 00:20:51.977 align:center
Yes, no. I mean

00:20:52.312 --> 00:20:57.544 align:center
I don't like her but
I can try to like her.

00:20:57.739 --> 00:21:02.063 align:center
You can try to woo me too. But
it's not like I will be wooed easily.

00:21:04.226 --> 00:21:05.596 align:center
Do one thing.

00:21:05.900 --> 00:21:07.631 align:center
Buy a bunch of roses.

00:21:08.046 --> 00:21:10.200 align:center
And buy a can of kerosene oil.

00:21:10.290 --> 00:21:13.120 align:center
As soon as the girl says no to you,
light yourself on fire.

00:21:13.210 --> 00:21:14.464 align:center
Hey, no.

00:21:14.645 --> 00:21:16.427 align:center
-Yes, he is cute.
-Right?

00:21:17.828 --> 00:21:20.578 align:center
-But...
-But?

00:21:21.062 --> 00:21:23.078 align:center
-Nothing.
-Tell me.

00:21:23.502 --> 00:21:25.630 align:center
Isn't her laugh a bit weird?

00:21:25.720 --> 00:21:27.256 align:center
Don't you find him a little immature?

00:21:29.816 --> 00:21:31.135 align:center
Immature?

00:21:31.393 --> 00:21:35.274 align:center
-Laugh?
-Yes. Pay attention to it.

00:21:36.586 --> 00:21:38.455 align:center
I have never noticed that.

00:21:38.607 --> 00:21:42.212 align:center
Look, why will any mature guy
be friends with Jaat and Jhantoo?

00:21:42.302 --> 00:21:45.263 align:center
Anyone seems mature compared to them,
just like I seem thin compared to you.

00:21:45.595 --> 00:21:47.249 align:center
-What?
-Nothing.

00:21:49.948 --> 00:21:54.803 align:center
Chirag, I am wiser than you.
That is why I am saying this to you.

00:21:55.936 --> 00:21:58.269 align:center
People turn blind in love.

00:22:13.447 --> 00:22:17.109 align:center
Should I write Resume
or Curriculum Vitae?

00:22:17.199 --> 00:22:20.896 align:center
You were making your CV, right? So, just
write that. You got distracted again.

00:22:21.095 --> 00:22:24.226 align:center
I got distracted the day
I chose to study engineering.

00:22:24.613 --> 00:22:30.194 align:center
But anyway, now it's time to recentre
your navigation, Ankit Pandey.

00:22:30.284 --> 00:22:33.640 align:center
The problem is that you are very common.

00:22:33.730 --> 00:22:36.668 align:center
You merely have the person
in your personality.

00:22:36.758 --> 00:22:39.492 align:center
You don't know the first
thing about being an alpha.

00:22:39.582 --> 00:22:43.532 align:center
I mean you are so average that
when people see you, they start asking,

00:22:43.802 --> 00:22:45.351 align:center
how much average does he give?

00:22:45.992 --> 00:22:48.288 align:center
-When your parents had sex for
the first time... -Enough, brother.

00:22:48.378 --> 00:22:50.410 align:center
Yes, I went on the wrong tangent.

00:22:50.500 --> 00:22:55.005 align:center
So, I mean to say that if the CV
is average, the job will be average.

00:22:55.907 --> 00:22:57.707 align:center
That means the CV should be unique.

00:22:58.507 --> 00:23:02.193 align:center
Whether it is the bedroom or the office,
fake it till you make it.

00:23:03.848 --> 00:23:07.956 align:center
Here, this has the CVs of
the toppers from the last ten years.

00:23:08.046 --> 00:23:10.321 align:center
Steal some tiny bits from all the CVs.

00:23:10.683 --> 00:23:13.332 align:center
This is cool. Thanks, dude.

00:23:16.834 --> 00:23:18.736 align:center
-Have you kissed?
-Yes.

00:23:18.826 --> 00:23:22.120 align:center
Then write, proficient in French.

00:23:24.066 --> 00:23:28.782 align:center
Write all the courses.
CAT, STAT, drafting, rendering.

00:23:28.963 --> 00:23:31.238 align:center
I haven't done these. I'll get caught.

00:23:31.328 --> 00:23:33.135 align:center
You'll get caught if they see it.

00:23:33.225 --> 00:23:35.111 align:center
What do you think?
The high-paying employees

00:23:35.183 --> 00:23:37.794 align:center
of multinational companies will
sit and read Ankit Pandey's CV?

00:23:38.108 --> 00:23:41.232 align:center
All the keywords of all the CVs
are screened through software.

00:23:41.322 --> 00:23:43.632 align:center
If you change the font colour to white,

00:23:43.722 --> 00:23:46.216 align:center
your CV will not only get selected,
you won't get caught too.

00:23:48.538 --> 00:23:49.684 align:center
That's amazing.

00:23:57.868 --> 00:23:58.926 align:center
Thank you.

00:24:03.209 --> 00:24:07.188 align:center
Look, no matter how great the man
of the match performs in the match,

00:24:07.376 --> 00:24:09.753 align:center
he is always judged by
the quality of his English.

00:24:09.843 --> 00:24:12.729 align:center
So whatever your special
achievement in this hostel is,

00:24:13.005 --> 00:24:14.958 align:center
write that down in pure English.

00:24:18.833 --> 00:24:20.109 align:center
Curator.

00:24:21.778 --> 00:24:24.119 align:center
Connoisseur of rare films

00:24:24.209 --> 00:24:26.201 align:center
of the aphrodisiac category.

00:24:27.009 --> 00:24:29.210 align:center
-Is that what they call porn?
-That must be it.

00:24:32.891 --> 00:24:34.518 align:center
Now, this is interesting.

00:24:35.166 --> 00:24:36.885 align:center
This is what you should have filtered.

00:24:37.264 --> 00:24:39.512 align:center
Send this to Akansha. You'll get a job.

00:24:39.602 --> 00:24:42.529 align:center
And listen. Give a cup
of this to that tea guy.

00:24:42.842 --> 00:24:44.529 align:center
He had one job.

00:24:44.799 --> 00:24:49.242 align:center
Forget about the job. First,
I should get to write my exams.

00:24:49.675 --> 00:24:52.485 align:center
I can't understand how to get that
old man's signature on the application.

00:24:52.575 --> 00:24:55.448 align:center
Here is the doctor's certificate.

00:24:56.064 --> 00:24:59.350 align:center
And listen. It was a human physician
so he charged an extra hundred bucks.

00:24:59.697 --> 00:25:02.497 align:center
Jhantoo, my brother, thank you so much.

00:25:02.799 --> 00:25:05.231 align:center
What would become of me
if it wasn't for you?

00:25:05.707 --> 00:25:08.517 align:center
I was in a huge existential
crisis for the past few days...

00:25:08.874 --> 00:25:12.625 align:center
-It cost me an extra hundred bucks.
-Yes, sorry.

00:25:12.715 --> 00:25:14.593 align:center
You are the best, Jhantoo.

00:25:32.064 --> 00:25:33.729 align:center
-Listen.
-Yes?

00:25:33.819 --> 00:25:36.512 align:center
You listed photography as your interest

00:25:36.602 --> 00:25:39.197 align:center
-but your focus is always off.
-Hmm?

00:25:39.859 --> 00:25:43.413 align:center
Focus. Your focus is always off.

00:25:43.503 --> 00:25:45.814 align:center
You also wrote you are adventurous.

00:25:46.172 --> 00:25:48.602 align:center
You can't even have panipuri that
is slightly more than medium spicy.

00:25:48.692 --> 00:25:51.470 align:center
At least I don't eat sweet
ginger powder like Jaat.

00:25:52.172 --> 00:25:54.377 align:center
Okay. Check the work experience, please.

00:25:59.097 --> 00:26:02.300 align:center
Chirag? Why are you drinking
through the straw? Are you a kid?

00:26:06.224 --> 00:26:07.739 align:center
You have a problem with everything.

00:26:21.235 --> 00:26:23.829 align:center
What is so funny about this?

00:26:23.919 --> 00:26:25.559 align:center
Look at your face.

00:26:26.024 --> 00:26:27.397 align:center
Grow up, Chirag.

00:26:27.487 --> 00:26:29.960 align:center
-Oh, hello. I have grown up.
-You have it on your spectacles too.

00:26:30.284 --> 00:26:33.430 align:center
And anyway, people stop growing
after eighteen. Got it?

00:26:34.262 --> 00:26:36.684 align:center
She doesn't know anything
and she is asking me to grow up.

00:26:38.284 --> 00:26:41.182 align:center
All the fonts are wrong.
These fonts are all different.

00:26:42.066 --> 00:26:43.836 align:center
So many spelling mistakes too.

00:27:33.336 --> 00:27:34.850 align:center
Hey, get out of here.

00:27:35.378 --> 00:27:37.091 align:center
Bro, why do you keep
us engaged in all this?

00:27:37.181 --> 00:27:39.007 align:center
-He is distracting us.
-We came here to become engineers.

00:27:39.097 --> 00:27:41.337 align:center
We didn't come here to become artists.
Artists don't get jobs.

00:27:41.427 --> 00:27:42.721 align:center
So, Akku, how are you doing?

00:27:43.015 --> 00:27:44.831 align:center
Ankit, what kind of
music do you listen to?

00:27:45.798 --> 00:27:47.964 align:center
-What?
-Such questions are asked

00:27:48.070 --> 00:27:50.194 align:center
before the relationship, not after...

00:27:51.239 --> 00:27:53.271 align:center
What kind of music do you listen to?

00:27:55.649 --> 00:27:58.547 align:center
-Rock.
-When and where did rock start?

00:27:59.428 --> 00:28:02.127 align:center
How would I know?
Ask the Rock or the Undertaker.

00:28:03.614 --> 00:28:07.644 align:center
Rock music started in the 1940s in
the US after the Great Depression.

00:28:08.526 --> 00:28:10.611 align:center
I don't even listen to rock
and yet, I know.

00:28:12.046 --> 00:28:14.814 align:center
What nonsense have you written
in your CV?

00:28:15.739 --> 00:28:17.498 align:center
Under career objective, you have written

00:28:17.578 --> 00:28:19.392 align:center
that a piece of paper
can't decide my future.

00:28:19.482 --> 00:28:21.792 align:center
Under interests, you mentioned
a 15 percent education loan?

00:28:22.293 --> 00:28:25.086 align:center
And you have written Shakespearean
English. Behold I liketh surfing.

00:28:25.302 --> 00:28:27.655 align:center
Clearly, this CV is fake.

00:28:28.027 --> 00:28:29.472 align:center
If I can find flaws in this,

00:28:29.538 --> 00:28:32.386 align:center
the guy who has taken 500 interviews
will definitely reject this.

00:28:33.190 --> 00:28:36.053 align:center
You are fooling yourself to fool him.

00:28:36.469 --> 00:28:39.106 align:center
Fine. Let them reject me. Okay?

00:28:39.391 --> 00:28:40.792 align:center
I don't have an option.

00:28:42.254 --> 00:28:43.707 align:center
You have an option.

00:28:44.874 --> 00:28:48.151 align:center
You are a fresher.
No one is expecting much from you.

00:28:48.567 --> 00:28:51.810 align:center
Just be honest in your CV. Be yourself.

00:28:52.346 --> 00:28:56.012 align:center
Look, Akku, I know what I am doing.
Okay?

00:28:56.782 --> 00:28:58.374 align:center
Haven't you heard that saying?

00:28:59.105 --> 00:29:00.736 align:center
Fake it till you make it.

00:29:13.999 --> 00:29:17.620 align:center
Brother, Bhojpuri music
must have originated in Bihar.

00:29:18.073 --> 00:29:21.168 align:center
Write that too. And also wrote
that you play this single drum.

00:29:21.265 --> 00:29:23.013 align:center
It is called an instrument.

00:29:23.103 --> 00:29:26.330 align:center
Okay. Come. Let's give your
medical certificate to your professor.

00:29:26.420 --> 00:29:29.208 align:center
Yes. I won't spare that scoundrel today.

00:29:29.298 --> 00:29:31.708 align:center
My God, Chirag, you are so immature.

00:29:31.798 --> 00:29:34.248 align:center
You should get admission to a school
after you pass out from college.

00:29:34.338 --> 00:29:38.281 align:center
Oh, hello. When was I being immature?
Don't talk nonsense.

00:29:38.371 --> 00:29:40.425 align:center
You should get admitted to a school.

00:29:40.515 --> 00:29:42.453 align:center
She has never seen herself laugh.

00:29:42.785 --> 00:29:44.093 align:center
What about my laugh?

00:29:44.183 --> 00:29:45.889 align:center
-Tell me.
-You should know. You laugh every day.

00:29:46.224 --> 00:29:47.400 align:center
-Laugh.
-Tell me.

00:29:47.490 --> 00:29:49.773 align:center
What should I tell you? Laugh and see.

00:29:50.631 --> 00:29:52.700 align:center
No, no. You are not laughing
now like you usually do.

00:29:52.790 --> 00:29:54.208 align:center
Laugh as you laugh.

00:29:54.298 --> 00:29:56.775 align:center
Okay. So, you make me laugh. Go on.

00:29:56.865 --> 00:29:59.694 align:center
-Why should I make you laugh? You laugh.
-Tell me a joke, Make me laugh.

00:29:59.985 --> 00:30:01.098 align:center
-I should make you laugh?
-Make me laugh.

00:30:01.188 --> 00:30:04.239 align:center
Okay. I will make you laugh so much
that all your oxytocin will be released.

00:30:04.329 --> 00:30:05.844 align:center
-By tickling you.
-No!

00:30:07.218 --> 00:30:09.564 align:center
See! That loop!

00:30:10.753 --> 00:30:12.212 align:center
See, this childishness.

00:30:29.899 --> 00:30:32.818 align:center
I get it now. Funny.

00:30:33.736 --> 00:30:36.083 align:center
-Me?
-No.

00:30:41.456 --> 00:30:45.110 align:center
The things that other people
find problematic about us,

00:30:46.644 --> 00:30:48.796 align:center
we didn't even notice
those things before this.

00:30:49.844 --> 00:30:51.061 align:center
Yes.

00:30:51.703 --> 00:30:55.660 align:center
And when we started taking
what they said seriously,

00:30:56.438 --> 00:30:58.265 align:center
we started having problems.

00:31:05.044 --> 00:31:09.401 align:center
I think those guys are
not ready to hear about us.

00:31:09.630 --> 00:31:12.938 align:center
-Yes. Because we are ready to tell them.
-Yes.

00:31:13.508 --> 00:31:15.638 align:center
-And we are not scared.
-Who is sacred?

00:31:15.728 --> 00:31:17.627 align:center
-Are you scared?
-Never.

00:31:18.459 --> 00:31:20.784 align:center
-We are not avoiding this topic.
-Not at all.

00:31:20.874 --> 00:31:22.935 align:center
-Look at this.
-Yes, show me.

00:31:23.025 --> 00:31:25.778 align:center
It doesn't look good.

00:31:27.434 --> 00:31:28.491 align:center
Fonts?

00:31:29.950 --> 00:31:31.475 align:center
May I come in, sir?

00:31:33.338 --> 00:31:34.458 align:center
Yes.

00:31:38.156 --> 00:31:43.968 align:center
Sir, actually, I was slightly unwell.

00:31:44.400 --> 00:31:46.603 align:center
That is why I couldn't attend
a few classes.

00:31:47.042 --> 00:31:50.668 align:center
Let me guess.
You must be suffering from dementia?

00:31:51.134 --> 00:31:54.377 align:center
Otherwise, you would have remembered
that I have already refused twice.

00:31:54.467 --> 00:31:57.565 align:center
Sir, I had jaundice.

00:31:58.084 --> 00:31:59.275 align:center
Certificate.

00:32:00.821 --> 00:32:05.684 align:center
Sir, my whole body had turned yellow.
I was burning with a fever.

00:32:05.900 --> 00:32:09.619 align:center
Cholera. Jaundice is a very deadly
disease. You must be knowing about it.

00:32:10.010 --> 00:32:12.962 align:center
All my friends had come
to take care of me. I said no.

00:32:13.332 --> 00:32:16.007 align:center
Go and attend your classes.
They are important.

00:32:16.697 --> 00:32:19.224 align:center
That got full attendance
because of that, sir.

00:32:19.314 --> 00:32:20.832 align:center
But I couldn't.

00:32:29.029 --> 00:32:33.180 align:center
Ankit, I have been teaching
for 20 years.

00:32:34.616 --> 00:32:36.492 align:center
I can easily catch lies.

00:32:37.876 --> 00:32:39.191 align:center
Here.

00:32:39.536 --> 00:32:42.693 align:center
These guys too got
fake certificates made like you.

00:32:43.419 --> 00:32:46.239 align:center
And some of them even got
these made by veterinarians.

00:32:50.361 --> 00:32:53.459 align:center
Your father worked very hard

00:32:53.549 --> 00:32:56.618 align:center
to save money and send it to you.

00:32:57.577 --> 00:33:00.550 align:center
He must have walked from home to his
office every day.

00:33:00.878 --> 00:33:03.092 align:center
His feet must be hurting even now.

00:33:07.930 --> 00:33:11.779 align:center
You are not fooling us.
You are fooling yourself.

00:33:13.673 --> 00:33:17.028 align:center
I don't know if I feel worse
for myself or your dad.

00:33:18.672 --> 00:33:21.543 align:center
Because I just have a student like you.

00:33:22.745 --> 00:33:25.565 align:center
But he has a son like you.

00:33:28.298 --> 00:33:31.360 align:center
If you are not studying,
at least have some shame.

00:33:34.118 --> 00:33:36.989 align:center
Go. Prepare for next year.

00:33:40.302 --> 00:33:41.772 align:center
Sorry, sir.

00:33:58.479 --> 00:34:00.799 align:center
Sir, what you said is right.

00:34:03.384 --> 00:34:04.698 align:center
I wasted three years.

00:34:08.288 --> 00:34:09.321 align:center
What should I have done?

00:34:10.314 --> 00:34:13.342 align:center
The school pressure since childhood,
then the college pressure.

00:34:13.654 --> 00:34:15.876 align:center
When I would get home, both
school and college pressure.

00:34:17.305 --> 00:34:20.198 align:center
After coming to this hostel,
for the first time in my entire life,

00:34:20.290 --> 00:34:21.724 align:center
I felt free.

00:34:22.891 --> 00:34:24.151 align:center
I started feeling good.

00:34:24.749 --> 00:34:28.148 align:center
I enjoyed it a lot.
I kept at it. I didn't stop.

00:34:28.529 --> 00:34:30.293 align:center
I wasted all my time, sir.

00:34:31.054 --> 00:34:36.224 align:center
It's easy, right? When you get power
without responsibility, you misuse it.

00:34:37.729 --> 00:34:39.024 align:center
I did that too.

00:34:40.661 --> 00:34:43.359 align:center
But, sir, I will use it from now on.

00:34:44.345 --> 00:34:47.787 align:center
There will be no slacking in my
attendance and hard work now. Promise.

00:34:48.634 --> 00:34:51.748 align:center
Please, sir, let me write my exams.
Otherwise, I will get debarred.

00:34:52.465 --> 00:34:56.859 align:center
And if I get debarred this time,
I will get very derailed, sir.

00:35:03.535 --> 00:35:04.658 align:center
You speak well.

00:35:07.721 --> 00:35:13.464 align:center
I am signing to find out whether
you are telling the truth or not.

00:35:21.406 --> 00:35:22.513 align:center
Let's see.

00:35:26.746 --> 00:35:28.229 align:center
Thank you, sir.

00:35:37.636 --> 00:35:42.166 align:center
I told you, right? I have to be
negative to make them behave.

00:35:43.874 --> 00:35:46.080 align:center
But he is only behaving for now.

00:35:47.042 --> 00:35:48.836 align:center
Because a dog's tail

00:35:48.926 --> 00:35:52.923 align:center
and a building constructed without
a soil sample are always crooked.

00:35:55.939 --> 00:35:59.798 align:center
When he gets a job,
he will waste time again.

00:36:00.274 --> 00:36:02.220 align:center
The girlfriend shenanigans.

00:36:02.576 --> 00:36:04.997 align:center
He won't even call his parents.

00:36:09.420 --> 00:36:11.723 align:center
Hello. Yes, dad?

00:36:13.485 --> 00:36:15.852 align:center
It's just been a week since we...

00:36:16.405 --> 00:36:17.734 align:center
I was about to call you.

00:36:28.188 --> 00:36:29.724 align:center
Hey.

00:36:34.775 --> 00:36:37.220 align:center
Sorry about that day, sir.
I won't do it again.

00:36:37.531 --> 00:36:39.680 align:center
Please don't tell anyone my secret.

00:36:40.777 --> 00:36:43.139 align:center
There are no secrets.

00:36:43.870 --> 00:36:45.500 align:center
Everyone has their kinks.

00:36:45.923 --> 00:36:49.566 align:center
Don't fear it. Accept it.

00:36:53.232 --> 00:36:58.237 align:center
Take this. Next time, ask directly.
Don't make excuses to get an assignment.

00:36:58.907 --> 00:37:00.745 align:center
-Okay. -I won't give you
the collection even then.

00:37:01.373 --> 00:37:04.616 align:center
But at least I won't screw
your happiness. Okay?

00:37:04.865 --> 00:37:06.876 align:center
-Yes.
-Focus on your studies.

00:37:07.470 --> 00:37:08.951 align:center
-Thank you.
-Go on.
studies.