WEBVTT

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I need some support...

00:00:53.180 --> 00:00:56.300 align:center
...so that I don't slip.

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Hey, What happened?

00:01:14.100 --> 00:01:20.440 align:center
You got so scared as if you
haven't seen cleavage before?

00:01:21.380 --> 00:01:23.980 align:center
No, no. Nothing like that.

00:01:26.980 --> 00:01:30.260 align:center
That means you have seen it.

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Are you coming to have tea?

00:01:38.100 --> 00:01:39.100 align:center
Yes.

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I'm going to play our favourite song.

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You guys know it.

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'Jeans, booze, fag, and love.'

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'Jeans, booze, fag, and love.'

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'Canteen, booze, fag, and love.'

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'Friend, booze, fag, and love.'

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'And moment.'

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- Please sing 'moment' once again.
- Hey, am I stupid or what?

00:02:26.740 --> 00:02:29.380 align:center
- What nonsense is this?
- She always talks nonsense.

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What is her problem?

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Dude, sing 'Gulabi
Aankhein' (pink eyes) for me.

00:02:32.220 --> 00:02:33.460 align:center
How about a pink dick?

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Get that bastard out of here.

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Listen dude, Please sing 'Sun Raha Hai
tu, Ro Raha Hu Main'

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'Wonderwall, Wonderwall.'

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- 'Paani Da Rang.'
- Please sing 'Wonderwall.'

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How about 'Musu Musu Haasi' song?

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May I know which is song is this?

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There's this song 'Musu
Musu Haasi deu malai lai'

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No, no, no.

00:02:52.820 --> 00:02:54.540 align:center
You guys hear me every day.

00:02:54.620 --> 00:02:56.740 align:center
But this guy is from another hostel.
So let's do it for him.

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- Okay.
- Guys, I'm from this hostel.

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Leo, remember last night you came
over to Chirag's room.

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To collect notes.
I'm his roomie. Ankit Pandey.

00:03:08.780 --> 00:03:10.180 align:center
But you are Chirag's roommate, right?

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He's talking about Chirag
from Computer Science.

00:03:12.570 --> 00:03:14.130 align:center
But his roommate is Jaat.

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- Yeah.
- God knows where do these guys come from?

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I've never seen him before.

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'Musu'

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'Musu'

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'Haasi'

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'Deu'

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'Malai Lai'

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Come on, freshers. Clear the place.

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We're going to have a
meeting to discuss Hostel Day's theme.

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Come on.

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- Bravo.
- What are you staring at?

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- Get lost.
- Not you, Leo. You need to be here.

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He'll make us strip again.

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Leo?

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Let's get out of here.

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He's a creative guy.

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He dances really well,
and is also a musician.

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The song 'Keywords' was sung by him.

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'Jeans, booze, fag, and love.'
You wrote this.

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'And moment.'

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Fuck! Nice.

00:03:58.460 --> 00:03:59.540 align:center
Thank you, sir.

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I hope you won't leak the theme, will you?

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Not at all, sir.

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- Nice.
- Join the quorum.

00:04:05.620 --> 00:04:06.820 align:center
Nice.

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Now, they will learn a lesson.

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Thanks.

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Which hostel was he from?

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You got so scared as if you
haven't seen cleavage before?

00:04:33.860 --> 00:04:34.860 align:center
No, no.

00:04:37.860 --> 00:04:40.380 align:center
Watching films is a bad thing.

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You shouldn't.

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Even if it's a porn or scripted.

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Because both set wrong expectations.

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Like the way happened to him.

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Like every other kid,
after watching 'Rang De Basanti'

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even he thought he'll become
'DJ' once he enters college.

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But the truth is the chances
of becoming 'DJ' are as scarce...

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...as finding a MILF
aunty in your neighbourhood.

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Tending to 0.

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And it's not that no one can
become famous in college.

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Some of them have cult status.

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Like Rampuri.

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He don't shoot on counter strike.

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He always stab with knife.

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Or Jatayu.

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He is not a hostel's metal fan. It's him.

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And some get a fame
by social services.

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Like Dalle.

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He arrange the passes of
Sophia college fashion show.

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Or Mukhiya.

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With the help of IAS uncle, he makes
people passports on immediate basis.

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But not everyone gets fame.

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Problem is that they're all similar

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And everyone wants to
make their own identity.

00:05:41.460 --> 00:05:42.700 align:center
But how's that possible?

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We have problems with engineers.

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Atleast they can prove their identity.
But can't create it.

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"I am on my way."

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"Yes, I am on my way."

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Everybody arrives here with a
roll number.

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But whoever leaves
with a nickname...

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...will be called as a master of his
destiny or whatever his nickname is.

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The matter is clear.

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Every boy of the
wing should be famous.

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Everyone should have
their own identity.

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Aura, personality.

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Only then your dream of seeing me...

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...as the hostel
President will be fulfilled.

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Our dream?

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But only the final year students
can become the President, right?

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- Correct.
- But there's still time for that.

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Why did you wake us up so early?

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- Let's go.
- Chirag.

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The guy for whom the strongest
team campaigns, in the

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fourth year
becomes the President.

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A strong team is made up of stud lads.

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Who're not only famous in the campus...

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but also influence voting.

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And you assholes!

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Even your batchmates are not aware
about your existence. Do they?

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Your Lordship! Do they know you?

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Of course, Jhantoo.
Everyone knows him.

00:07:08.550 --> 00:07:09.990 align:center
Everyone knows him.

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We'll campaign in such a way...

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...that even Chautala will feel shy.

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I'm not talking about you, my son.

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You're my Classic Milds.

00:07:19.180 --> 00:07:20.580 align:center
You guys should learn from him.

00:07:20.660 --> 00:07:22.460 align:center
This boy's already Mister Fresher.

00:07:22.540 --> 00:07:24.340 align:center
Through him I'll atleast get 55
votes from girls hostel.

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If he wanted,
he could have taken it lightly. But no.

00:07:27.660 --> 00:07:29.660 align:center
He's a part of all sports
teams except chess.

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And you guys are just jerking off.

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Who's jerking off? I don't know.

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Son, if you don't create your own
identity in college...

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...then you'll always be like
the third wheel, potato in pilaf...

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..a cameraman filming a threesome.

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Unsatisfied. Unknown. Disposable.

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So Jhantoo sir, you tell me
how should I make my place in this crowd.

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There's only one way to
be in the limelight.

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Clubs.

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Note it down.

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I have a soft copy as well.

00:08:08.820 --> 00:08:12.300 align:center
If you head any
of the clubs in your third year...

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...then all your juniors
will treat you like a stud.

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They'll revere you.

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Not only your posts,
they'll like your comments as well.

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This meeting was called...

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...because all the club
selections are starting from tomorrow.

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So go and join atleast one of them
and work hard for the next two years.

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Two years?

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But won't that affect
our studies, Jhantoo sir?

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As if you'll go to Stanford.
You asshole.

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Yes. MS from Stanford, Ph.D. from MIT
and Post-graduation from Princeton.

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Then I will go to ISRO
and work on 'Shukrayan.'

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It will be cheaper than 'Mangalyan.'

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Really?

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And what will you write in the
extracurricular section of your resume?

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That you scrub your ass with books? Huh?

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If you don't participate
in extra-curricular activities...

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then this boring personality's visa
will get rejected...

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...before scholarship.

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Okay.

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Is it important for higher studies?

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Yes. So is everyone motivated?

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Did you have fun?

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So go screw yourselves.

00:09:01.500 --> 00:09:03.340 align:center
And give me some good
news in the next two days.

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And listen, don't waste your
time in the dance or music club.

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All those who were eligible...

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...have already been selected
by the fourth year students.

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Disperse.

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Jhantoo sir, if it is so important
for my dreams, then I'll definitely do it.

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I'll do everything.

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Is there any way I can manage cult status,
social service and club altogether?

00:09:25.700 --> 00:09:28.340 align:center
There's no such thing.

00:09:28.500 --> 00:09:30.260 align:center
How come there is nothing?

00:09:30.290 --> 00:09:32.970 align:center
If a cultured woman like me
has an affair...

00:09:33.300 --> 00:09:35.300 align:center
...then it would be with
a popular guy, right?

00:09:35.500 --> 00:09:37.700 align:center
Your uncle is anyway an ordinary guy.

00:09:38.020 --> 00:09:40.580 align:center
And an extra-marital
affair like this...

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...won't be accepted
by the society either.

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If this is the case, then I will
become popular for you.

00:09:46.020 --> 00:09:48.300 align:center
Just being popular will not suffice.

00:09:49.940 --> 00:09:52.620 align:center
You'd need to do more than that.

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Calling yourself 'cooldude69'
will neither make

00:09:58.100 --> 00:10:01.350 align:center
you a cool dude,
nor will it get you into 69.

00:10:02.300 --> 00:10:03.540 align:center
Shall we, aunty?

00:10:04.100 --> 00:10:06.020 align:center
You are such a moron.

00:10:06.340 --> 00:10:08.780 align:center
Aunty, please don't do it.

00:10:08.860 --> 00:10:10.700 align:center
You're not my love, you're my addiction.

00:10:10.900 --> 00:10:13.780 align:center
You know I can't sleep
at night without seeing your face?

00:10:14.060 --> 00:10:14.940 align:center
If you agree...

00:10:15.020 --> 00:10:17.700 align:center
...then I swear I won't even look at any
aunty be it local or foreigner.

00:10:17.860 --> 00:10:19.540 align:center
I'll do as you say.

00:10:19.620 --> 00:10:20.980 align:center
I'll do it wherever you say.

00:10:21.060 --> 00:10:23.420 align:center
I will even become popular.
Just say yes once.

00:10:23.500 --> 00:10:25.740 align:center
Please, aunty. Please. Please.

00:10:26.300 --> 00:10:27.260 align:center
Promise?

00:10:27.660 --> 00:10:30.100 align:center
Promise. Promise. Promise. Promise.

00:10:31.100 --> 00:10:34.540 align:center
Okay, then.
Put on your clothes and be ready.

00:10:34.820 --> 00:10:35.820 align:center
Clothes?

00:10:35.890 --> 00:10:38.690 align:center
Why? You don't want to go to the club?

00:10:39.100 --> 00:10:40.820 align:center
Club?

00:10:40.980 --> 00:10:43.140 align:center
Hey, Ankit, don't you
want to go to the club?

00:10:43.220 --> 00:10:45.740 align:center
Wake up. Or else you'll be late.

00:10:47.740 --> 00:10:49.980 align:center
I have to go. And become a popular too.

00:10:51.700 --> 00:10:55.140 align:center
Listen. You take the technical ones,
and I'll take the cultural ones.

00:10:55.940 --> 00:10:57.100 align:center
Okay.

00:11:03.780 --> 00:11:06.420 align:center
In order to get selected
in the debating society...

00:11:06.500 --> 00:11:09.180 align:center
...the only thing one needs to do is...

00:11:10.130 --> 00:11:11.500 align:center
- Debate.
- I disagree.

00:11:11.580 --> 00:11:13.100 align:center
I second that.

00:11:14.100 --> 00:11:16.060 align:center
Hello, sir. I'm Chirag Bansal.

00:11:16.140 --> 00:11:17.300 align:center
Computer Science.

00:11:17.380 --> 00:11:20.300 align:center
I want to join the
hacking club because...

00:11:22.020 --> 00:11:25.140 align:center
Last financial year
Sudama Bank website was hacked.

00:11:25.220 --> 00:11:26.740 align:center
Do you know who did it?

00:11:27.060 --> 00:11:28.420 align:center
No, sir.

00:11:28.660 --> 00:11:30.100 align:center
Nobody knows.

00:11:36.460 --> 00:11:43.540 align:center
So Ankit? Your topic is, 'I must
be selected for the debating society.'

00:11:44.020 --> 00:11:47.140 align:center
And you'll be speaking against the motion.

00:11:47.660 --> 00:11:49.900 align:center
Your time starts now.

00:11:50.020 --> 00:11:53.580 align:center
Every hacker's most useful
weapon is his anonymity.

00:11:54.620 --> 00:11:57.300 align:center
And you revealed your identity
when you came in here, you asshole.

00:11:58.340 --> 00:11:59.660 align:center
Not a good start.

00:11:59.860 --> 00:12:02.780 align:center
So, in a nutshell,
I've conclusively proven that I'm shy.

00:12:02.860 --> 00:12:04.620 align:center
...under-confident,
and a pathetic loser...

00:12:04.700 --> 00:12:07.660 align:center
...and hence I should never ever
be selected in the debating society.

00:12:07.740 --> 00:12:08.820 align:center
Ever.

00:12:09.780 --> 00:12:11.660 align:center
In fact, I even stutt..er.

00:12:12.940 --> 00:12:13.940 align:center
Stutter.

00:12:18.500 --> 00:12:19.940 align:center
We both agree with you.

00:12:20.460 --> 00:12:21.500 align:center
Rejected.

00:12:22.030 --> 00:12:27.550 align:center
Sir, you mean, even if I hack something,
I won't be able to put it on my resume.

00:12:28.300 --> 00:12:32.300 align:center
Even if you hack Kangana's account
and send romantic e-mails to Hrithik.

00:12:32.580 --> 00:12:33.860 align:center
Not even then.

00:13:06.940 --> 00:13:08.460 align:center
Women are mothers.

00:13:08.860 --> 00:13:11.380 align:center
Women are sisters, Women are Goddess.

00:13:11.940 --> 00:13:15.180 align:center
Who the hell are we to stop the women?

00:13:15.820 --> 00:13:18.940 align:center
Women have the talent...

00:13:19.680 --> 00:13:21.620 align:center
Stand only when
I give you the cue..

00:13:22.260 --> 00:13:24.260 align:center
Not now. You stupid woman.

00:13:24.720 --> 00:13:27.180 align:center
All the smart women have
joined the dance club.

00:13:27.540 --> 00:13:29.660 align:center
Women...

00:13:40.420 --> 00:13:41.860 align:center
Fast learner.

00:13:41.940 --> 00:13:43.860 align:center
You'll make a drone by
the end of the semester.

00:13:43.940 --> 00:13:45.900 align:center
You can even participate
in Robo Wars.

00:13:45.980 --> 00:13:48.780 align:center
Robo Wars? Sounds Unique.

00:13:49.460 --> 00:13:51.860 align:center
Bro, it's the biggest
robotics event in Asia.

00:13:51.940 --> 00:13:54.740 align:center
There are only 1300 participants
from India.

00:13:54.820 --> 00:13:57.580 align:center
And they all write
it on their CV proudly.

00:13:58.500 --> 00:14:00.420 align:center
- Everybody?
- Yes.

00:14:00.500 --> 00:14:02.300 align:center
Then what's unique about it.

00:14:11.300 --> 00:14:12.900 align:center
Is this the Nature's Club meet?

00:14:13.860 --> 00:14:15.140 align:center
Aren't you...

00:14:16.860 --> 00:14:19.260 align:center
Welcome to the All-team
meet of Nature's Club.

00:14:19.820 --> 00:14:20.900 align:center
I am not just it's President...

00:14:20.980 --> 00:14:22.060 align:center
...but the entire Nature Club in itself.

00:14:22.140 --> 00:14:23.260 align:center
And now, even you're a part of it.

00:14:24.180 --> 00:14:25.220 align:center
Shall we start the session?

00:14:25.300 --> 00:14:27.540 align:center
Yes. From where?

00:14:27.620 --> 00:14:29.140 align:center
From here.

00:14:35.140 --> 00:14:37.060 align:center
I got into all the atheletic clubs.

00:14:37.140 --> 00:14:39.980 align:center
Short put, long jump, all of them.

00:14:40.180 --> 00:14:41.660 align:center
- And you?
- Fine Arts.

00:14:41.740 --> 00:14:42.780 align:center
Very good.

00:14:42.940 --> 00:14:44.780 align:center
- Photography club.
- Amazing.

00:14:45.100 --> 00:14:47.420 align:center
No club. I am not in any of the clubs.

00:14:47.500 --> 00:14:50.700 align:center
I repeat I am not in any of the clubs.

00:14:56.460 --> 00:14:57.740 align:center
And you?

00:14:59.940 --> 00:15:01.540 align:center
Which club?

00:15:02.060 --> 00:15:03.260 align:center
Nature's club?

00:15:03.360 --> 00:15:04.840 align:center
Nature's club?

00:15:05.180 --> 00:15:08.900 align:center
Are you going to segregate waste
and keep them in different bins?

00:15:09.140 --> 00:15:11.220 align:center
Or build a biogas plant?

00:15:11.500 --> 00:15:15.020 align:center
You should've rather grown a ponytail
and joined Iskcon instead.

00:15:15.100 --> 00:15:17.860 align:center
You could've chanted Lord's
name all day and cleansed your sins.

00:15:17.940 --> 00:15:19.980 align:center
Plus you would've
got free food as well.

00:15:20.060 --> 00:15:21.980 align:center
You're completely useless.

00:15:22.060 --> 00:15:24.380 align:center
Nobody is useless,
at least he is trying.

00:15:24.460 --> 00:15:28.420 align:center
At least he doesn't have
bad habits like cooldude69.

00:15:29.300 --> 00:15:30.780 align:center
Do you know that cool dude?

00:15:30.860 --> 00:15:34.180 align:center
Had I known the bugger,
I would've gotten him rusticated.

00:15:35.940 --> 00:15:38.220 align:center
I just saw a nick on DC++

00:15:38.300 --> 00:15:40.140 align:center
- But everyone has seen that.
- No.

00:15:40.740 --> 00:15:44.260 align:center
I mean I've never
seen anything like that.

00:15:44.860 --> 00:15:47.620 align:center
Yes. I mean just heard it
from you for the first time.

00:15:47.700 --> 00:15:49.900 align:center
I mean what is it? 'Coolbird69?'

00:15:49.980 --> 00:15:52.300 align:center
'Cooldude69.'

00:15:52.620 --> 00:15:57.500 align:center
It's a nick on DC++
where you'll get lots of porn.

00:15:57.580 --> 00:15:58.780 align:center
How do you know?

00:15:58.860 --> 00:16:00.620 align:center
That's where everyone
downloads it from.

00:16:01.100 --> 00:16:02.220 align:center
Fuck.

00:16:02.460 --> 00:16:04.060 align:center
Yes, Ankit. Yes.

00:16:04.140 --> 00:16:06.720 align:center
Welcome to the dark
side of engineering.

00:16:09.340 --> 00:16:13.660 align:center
There are some porn dealers
amongst us like cooldude69...

00:16:13.740 --> 00:16:18.060 align:center
...who supply porn to innocent
students and mislead them.

00:16:18.130 --> 00:16:22.090 align:center
Innocent students watch
porn and some of them...

00:16:22.500 --> 00:16:24.700 align:center
...even get into premarital
masturbation.

00:16:24.780 --> 00:16:26.660 align:center
Yuck. Yuck.

00:16:26.740 --> 00:16:27.980 align:center
What yuck?

00:16:28.060 --> 00:16:31.220 align:center
This 'cooldude69' is the savior of LAN.

00:16:31.700 --> 00:16:33.780 align:center
- Have you seen 'Kavita aunty?'
- No.

00:16:34.220 --> 00:16:35.540 align:center
You should.

00:16:35.620 --> 00:16:37.260 align:center
The entire campus is watching.

00:16:37.340 --> 00:16:38.820 align:center
Entire campus?

00:16:38.900 --> 00:16:41.660 align:center
Yes. This boy is a genius.

00:16:41.740 --> 00:16:44.100 align:center
He also puts a remark
in the file name.

00:16:44.180 --> 00:16:47.060 align:center
First Five minutes of this.
Boring story.

00:16:47.140 --> 00:16:49.700 align:center
The best scene at
15 minutes 20 seconds.

00:16:49.780 --> 00:16:52.300 align:center
This girl looks like Prachi from 11B.

00:16:52.380 --> 00:16:56.060 align:center
This guy has even given
a title to one of the movies.

00:16:56.140 --> 00:16:59.660 align:center
Girl looks like Angelina Jolie.
Boy looks like Ravi Teja.

00:17:00.820 --> 00:17:02.580 align:center
- Yeah.
- What yeah?

00:17:02.660 --> 00:17:04.180 align:center
I don't look like him at all.

00:17:04.600 --> 00:17:07.800 align:center
And I'll never let
any female to do that with me.

00:17:07.820 --> 00:17:09.820 align:center
That means you've also seen it.

00:17:09.900 --> 00:17:11.180 align:center
You saw it. Didn't you?

00:17:11.540 --> 00:17:13.780 align:center
Bro, what was that nick again?

00:17:13.860 --> 00:17:16.820 align:center
- 'cooldude69.' All in small letters.
- What? Are you crazy?

00:17:16.900 --> 00:17:18.340 align:center
How can you say such things
publicly?

00:17:18.420 --> 00:17:20.580 align:center
Yes, he's right.
Don't encourage him like that.

00:17:20.660 --> 00:17:22.900 align:center
He's a bloody psychopath, rascal, idiot.

00:17:22.980 --> 00:17:26.700 align:center
At this age, they should make
us hold a pen in our hands... He is...

00:17:28.420 --> 00:17:30.940 align:center
I tell you, this is a genetic problem.

00:17:31.020 --> 00:17:33.140 align:center
His parents must be
bigger perverts than him.

00:17:33.220 --> 00:17:37.100 align:center
And I tell you I'll pray to
Lord Balaji that his parents...

00:17:37.180 --> 00:17:40.460 align:center
Wait a second, bro.
Wait a second. Wait a second.

00:17:41.090 --> 00:17:44.220 align:center
Maybe we're misunderstanding him.

00:17:44.570 --> 00:17:45.220 align:center
Right?

00:17:45.660 --> 00:17:48.060 align:center
Maybe he downloads it for himself.

00:17:48.140 --> 00:17:50.940 align:center
And also writes remarks for
his own reference. Who knows?

00:17:51.020 --> 00:17:52.980 align:center
Then he would've kept his folder private.

00:17:53.060 --> 00:17:54.460 align:center
Why is it public?

00:17:55.300 --> 00:18:01.900 align:center
Maybe he doesn't know.
I mean he's new.

00:18:02.140 --> 00:18:04.450 align:center
No one's that useless, okay.

00:18:08.420 --> 00:18:10.500 align:center
I'll go get something to eat.

00:18:33.580 --> 00:18:37.180 align:center
I heard you got into Nature's Club,
so I brought ice-cream!

00:18:37.300 --> 00:18:39.460 align:center
You're such a bad actor.

00:18:40.100 --> 00:18:44.500 align:center
I heard you got into Nature's Club,
so I brought ice-cream.

00:18:46.900 --> 00:18:50.820 align:center
Ankit. Don't worry
about the clubs so much.

00:18:51.630 --> 00:18:53.510 align:center
The selections will
continue tomorrow as well.

00:18:53.580 --> 00:18:56.340 align:center
I am not worried about
getting selected in clubs,

00:18:56.660 --> 00:19:00.660 align:center
But a sense of belonging.

00:19:01.580 --> 00:19:03.300 align:center
If I get selected in any
of the random clubs...

00:19:03.380 --> 00:19:05.140 align:center
...that won't make
me a part of this hostel.

00:19:05.220 --> 00:19:06.660 align:center
What are you talking about?

00:19:06.740 --> 00:19:08.300 align:center
Even I am not in any of the clubs.

00:19:08.380 --> 00:19:10.260 align:center
But that doesn't mean I'm
not a part of the hostel?

00:19:10.340 --> 00:19:12.780 align:center
You are. You're definitely
are a part of it.

00:19:13.300 --> 00:19:14.780 align:center
And that's the point.

00:19:15.580 --> 00:19:19.100 align:center
You, Jaat, Jhantoo,
Leo and that Ravi Teja...

00:19:19.500 --> 00:19:21.940 align:center
In fact, they know Rakhi as well.

00:19:23.620 --> 00:19:27.020 align:center
And even if I manage to become a part of
any club, I'll still remain unknown.

00:19:28.180 --> 00:19:30.580 align:center
If I were to take my bags and leave...

00:19:32.060 --> 00:19:34.090 align:center
...nobody will even notice.

00:19:35.420 --> 00:19:39.300 align:center
Even a pregnant lady's baby
bump is seen in the fourth month.

00:19:39.380 --> 00:19:41.340 align:center
And it's not even been 2
months since you've joined.

00:19:41.420 --> 00:19:44.940 align:center
- Soon everyone will know you.
- How?

00:19:46.660 --> 00:19:48.840 align:center
This is not a classroom of 40 kids.

00:19:49.100 --> 00:19:51.420 align:center
It's a campus of 1500 students.

00:19:56.540 --> 00:20:00.300 align:center
I'll raise my kid to be
a really cool person.

00:20:00.380 --> 00:20:02.340 align:center
I'll even teach him to play guitar.

00:20:04.420 --> 00:20:06.730 align:center
I'm an ordinary
person like him.

00:20:08.260 --> 00:20:10.380 align:center
But my child won't be.

00:20:11.380 --> 00:20:13.260 align:center
Who is he?

00:20:14.620 --> 00:20:17.100 align:center
This is my photograph from 7th grade.

00:20:17.180 --> 00:20:18.980 align:center
I found it on FB.

00:20:19.820 --> 00:20:22.860 align:center
And nobody tagged this poor kid.

00:20:23.860 --> 00:20:27.020 align:center
I mean even the grumpy principal
was tagged, but not this boy.

00:20:27.900 --> 00:20:29.860 align:center
I thought I'll tag him.

00:20:31.620 --> 00:20:34.100 align:center
But I couldn't remember his name.

00:20:39.220 --> 00:20:41.820 align:center
That's going to be my fate as well.

00:20:43.300 --> 00:20:46.340 align:center
I'll only leave this college with a degree.

00:20:47.860 --> 00:20:49.420 align:center
Not memories.

00:20:58.340 --> 00:21:03.700 align:center
Gymkhana President, 2003.
Manoj Mishra, aka Bhosad.

00:21:03.900 --> 00:21:05.020 align:center
He used to say...

00:21:05.340 --> 00:21:09.460 align:center
...those who don't have an identity
in college, always feel lonely.

00:21:09.540 --> 00:21:11.620 align:center
'Adopted Child Syndrome.'

00:21:12.140 --> 00:21:16.140 align:center
Years after graduating from college,
when these students chat on whatsapp groups

00:21:16.380 --> 00:21:20.220 align:center
...others wonder
'who's this asshole?'

00:21:20.620 --> 00:21:23.700 align:center
And so...be it good or bad...

00:21:24.580 --> 00:21:28.580 align:center
...you need to have
an identity in college.

00:21:30.420 --> 00:21:32.500 align:center
Hey, man! Make an entry first.

00:21:38.300 --> 00:21:39.980 align:center
So, for every epsilon...

00:21:40.060 --> 00:21:41.260 align:center
This epsilon.

00:21:41.340 --> 00:21:43.060 align:center
For every epsilon,
you've to find an N.

00:21:43.140 --> 00:21:44.660 align:center
Once you find it...

00:21:44.740 --> 00:21:46.260 align:center
...for every epsilon...
the problem is solved.

00:21:46.340 --> 00:21:49.620 align:center
I mean to say..take
the epsilon and find the N.

00:21:49.700 --> 00:21:51.980 align:center
And your question will be solved.
I promise you.

00:21:53.460 --> 00:21:54.700 align:center
What is this?

00:21:55.220 --> 00:21:57.900 align:center
Good that you finally asked, sir.

00:21:59.980 --> 00:22:02.220 align:center
Hi, I am Chirag Bansal.

00:22:02.300 --> 00:22:08.380 align:center
Founder, CEO, CTO,
CFO and everything C of Wiki Lectures.

00:22:08.460 --> 00:22:10.980 align:center
- What lecture?
- Wiki Lecture, sir.

00:22:11.060 --> 00:22:12.860 align:center
It's a non-profit organization...

00:22:12.940 --> 00:22:15.180 align:center
...whose sole aim is
to make videos of lectures...

00:22:15.260 --> 00:22:18.020 align:center
...and help those students...

00:22:18.100 --> 00:22:20.380 align:center
...who aren't able to attend lectures.

00:22:20.460 --> 00:22:23.700 align:center
Wait a second.
This is very distracting.

00:22:23.780 --> 00:22:26.140 align:center
Imagine, sir.

00:22:26.340 --> 00:22:29.740 align:center
When these videos will be seen
in every corner of the world...

00:22:29.820 --> 00:22:33.100 align:center
...you'll become famous like Salman Khan.

00:22:34.020 --> 00:22:37.620 align:center
From Khan Academy.
Not the one from Being Human.

00:22:37.980 --> 00:22:42.380 align:center
And finally, you'll get
million dollar aide from Bill Gates.

00:22:42.460 --> 00:22:44.700 align:center
The Padmashree and a shawl
from the Indian Government.

00:22:44.780 --> 00:22:47.460 align:center
And maybe gain respect from every student.

00:22:47.730 --> 00:22:49.570 align:center
I promise you, sir.

00:22:56.940 --> 00:22:59.060 align:center
19.3 boules.

00:22:59.140 --> 00:23:01.020 align:center
It's maths class.

00:23:01.220 --> 00:23:04.540 align:center
Oh! Maths class.

00:23:07.180 --> 00:23:08.460 align:center
You're doing the right thing.

00:23:08.700 --> 00:23:10.860 align:center
You're doing the right thing.
Look at him, great fellow.

00:23:11.660 --> 00:23:14.340 align:center
- Keep it up. Do it. Yes.
- Come on, sir.

00:23:14.740 --> 00:23:16.460 align:center
For every epsilon greater than 0...

00:23:16.540 --> 00:23:18.500 align:center
Sir, towards left.

00:23:18.580 --> 00:23:19.220 align:center
Yes.

00:23:19.300 --> 00:23:21.780 align:center
- For every epsilon and find the 0...
- Sir, show the right profile.

00:23:22.460 --> 00:23:23.820 align:center
Catch the light.

00:23:24.480 --> 00:23:25.290 align:center
Perfect.

00:23:25.620 --> 00:23:28.020 align:center
- So for every epsilon and find the 0..
- Smile.

00:23:28.100 --> 00:23:30.060 align:center
A bit more. Bit more.

00:23:30.940 --> 00:23:32.220 align:center
Now continue.

00:23:32.300 --> 00:23:34.900 align:center
For every epsilon,
you've to find an N.

00:23:34.980 --> 00:23:37.020 align:center
Can you see that?
I am sure you can see this.

00:23:37.100 --> 00:23:40.260 align:center
There is N. And once you find N,
your problem will be solved.

00:23:40.340 --> 00:23:43.060 align:center
That is how we prove that
the sequence is converting.

00:23:43.140 --> 00:23:44.580 align:center
This difference has
to be lesser than epsilon.

00:23:44.660 --> 00:23:46.980 align:center
Bro, you cracked it.

00:23:48.300 --> 00:23:50.460 align:center
I mean you've become the
coordinator in the very first year.

00:23:51.860 --> 00:23:52.900 align:center
- Listen!
- Yes.

00:23:53.300 --> 00:23:55.140 align:center
Make me your secretary.

00:23:55.220 --> 00:23:57.940 align:center
- Please.
- What are you saying?

00:23:58.020 --> 00:24:00.700 align:center
- Apply with a proper resume?
- What?

00:24:00.780 --> 00:24:03.660 align:center
And don't forget to
add your extra-curriculars.

00:24:03.740 --> 00:24:05.820 align:center
We need a multi-faceted personality.

00:24:05.900 --> 00:24:08.500 align:center
Chirag, my yellow bear.

00:24:08.580 --> 00:24:10.740 align:center
Heard you've created quite a stir, huh!

00:24:10.820 --> 00:24:13.180 align:center
Bro, not just from this batch...

00:24:13.260 --> 00:24:15.740 align:center
..but kids from all the upcomimg
batches will worship him.

00:24:15.880 --> 00:24:16.700 align:center
Hmm.

00:24:16.840 --> 00:24:20.700 align:center
I'll go to Stanford not to seek admission,
but to give a Tedtalk.

00:24:20.980 --> 00:24:23.940 align:center
I'll make you the head
of the advisory council.

00:24:24.020 --> 00:24:26.510 align:center
You've solved all
the student's problems.

00:24:26.540 --> 00:24:27.370 align:center
Yes.

00:24:27.420 --> 00:24:29.140 align:center
Nobody is going to
miss a single lecture henceforth.

00:24:29.260 --> 00:24:31.340 align:center
You fool no one is going
to attend any.

00:24:32.100 --> 00:24:33.100 align:center
And, Ankit! Listen.

00:24:33.500 --> 00:24:36.180 align:center
Whenever you get a free time,
learn something from him.

00:24:36.700 --> 00:24:38.780 align:center
I honestly tried.

00:24:38.860 --> 00:24:41.780 align:center
I am joking. I know you tried.

00:24:41.860 --> 00:24:43.260 align:center
You are an asshole.

00:24:43.540 --> 00:24:44.740 align:center
Hey, asshole.

00:24:51.500 --> 00:24:53.100 align:center
Sir, what are you doing here?

00:24:53.900 --> 00:24:55.260 align:center
Is something wrong?

00:24:55.460 --> 00:24:56.820 align:center
Whose room is this?

00:25:01.340 --> 00:25:04.820 align:center
I mean you're right, sir.
It's completely their fault.

00:25:04.900 --> 00:25:05.980 align:center
But please forgive these naive kids.

00:25:06.060 --> 00:25:07.900 align:center
- Apologise...
- Shut up, Jhantoo.

00:25:07.980 --> 00:25:09.980 align:center
Sir, you know me? How come?

00:25:12.100 --> 00:25:13.820 align:center
Is this the only laptop in this room?

00:25:14.740 --> 00:25:16.980 align:center
IP address 108.13. Right?

00:25:17.060 --> 00:25:18.820 align:center
Yes, right.

00:25:19.020 --> 00:25:20.820 align:center
So you are 'cooldude69.'

00:25:21.260 --> 00:25:23.780 align:center
Sorry, we thought you are an asshole.

00:25:23.860 --> 00:25:24.820 align:center
'Cooldude?' Me?

00:25:24.900 --> 00:25:26.700 align:center
No. I'm 'Steve Gates.'

00:25:27.220 --> 00:25:28.500 align:center
- Really?
- Yes.

00:25:28.580 --> 00:25:30.820 align:center
- Show ?
- Yes, see.

00:25:38.100 --> 00:25:39.740 align:center
It's him.

00:25:42.940 --> 00:25:44.300 align:center
Are you ashamed to tell us?

00:25:44.380 --> 00:25:47.660 align:center
No. This is Ankit's ID, not mine.

00:25:48.700 --> 00:25:49.820 align:center
Yes.

00:25:51.060 --> 00:25:52.540 align:center
Sorry, sir.

00:25:58.040 --> 00:26:00.020 align:center
Pleasure meeting you, 'cooldude69.'

00:26:01.020 --> 00:26:03.780 align:center
aka Ankit Pandey.

00:26:04.900 --> 00:26:06.020 align:center
Very talented.

00:26:06.100 --> 00:26:07.900 align:center
Sir, you're wrong.

00:26:07.980 --> 00:26:09.340 align:center
Finger on your lips.

00:26:09.980 --> 00:26:11.420 align:center
Do you know who he is?

00:26:12.020 --> 00:26:15.380 align:center
After DPS MMS,
'Savita Bhabhi' and 'Sunny Leone...'

00:26:15.460 --> 00:26:17.980 align:center
...the Indian porn industry's fourth
evolution is 'Kavita Aunty.'

00:26:18.980 --> 00:26:20.380 align:center
For the first time in four years...

00:26:20.460 --> 00:26:23.540 align:center
I've shared porn with my friends
at IIT and not the other way around.

00:26:23.820 --> 00:26:26.380 align:center
Those guys have whitewashed
the walls of thier rooms.

00:26:27.140 --> 00:26:30.460 align:center
And he is the one who seeded
the porn in the campus.

00:26:31.060 --> 00:26:33.300 align:center
You brought Kavita Aunty here.

00:26:34.780 --> 00:26:35.980 align:center
- Respect.
- Yes.

00:26:36.060 --> 00:26:39.500 align:center
Learn to respect the talent.

00:26:41.140 --> 00:26:44.380 align:center
Bro, I am in the fourth year.

00:26:44.980 --> 00:26:47.620 align:center
And I've had sex, twice.

00:26:48.220 --> 00:26:52.140 align:center
I never thought I will find
my college zest back at this age.

00:26:52.780 --> 00:26:54.820 align:center
But the material you post...

00:26:55.900 --> 00:26:57.740 align:center
...it makes us feel fucking young!

00:26:58.370 --> 00:27:00.260 align:center
But why's the folder private?

00:27:00.700 --> 00:27:02.860 align:center
He was in the middle of jerking off.

00:27:03.060 --> 00:27:06.540 align:center
- I thought someone might complain...
- We'll screw him over.

00:27:07.220 --> 00:27:08.740 align:center
Share without a fear.

00:27:09.540 --> 00:27:12.020 align:center
How did you find Kavita Aunty?

00:27:12.220 --> 00:27:14.260 align:center
Even we visit xvideos and Pornhub.

00:27:14.340 --> 00:27:15.740 align:center
We never found it.

00:27:16.460 --> 00:27:18.780 align:center
Tell them. Why are you feeling so shy?

00:27:18.900 --> 00:27:20.900 align:center
Sir, he's not used to so much respect.

00:27:20.980 --> 00:27:21.980 align:center
Come on, tell them.

00:27:22.290 --> 00:27:26.410 align:center
Sometimes when you go to
15-16th pages of search results...

00:27:26.500 --> 00:27:31.580 align:center
...You find mind-blowing clips
from hours of repetitive videos.

00:27:31.660 --> 00:27:34.340 align:center
How do you know that you'll
find the right clip from this video?

00:27:34.420 --> 00:27:38.980 align:center
When there are acclaimed
porn directors like Brad Armstrong...

00:27:39.060 --> 00:27:40.780 align:center
...Greg Lansky, and Axel Braun...

00:27:41.260 --> 00:27:43.540 align:center
...then somewhere you'll
find good scenes.

00:27:43.620 --> 00:27:46.060 align:center
You even know the names
of the directors of porn films?

00:27:46.140 --> 00:27:47.300 align:center
Yes.

00:27:47.900 --> 00:27:52.380 align:center
I mean only those who've won an AVN
Award or are on the XCRO Hall of fame...

00:27:52.460 --> 00:27:56.620 align:center
...or may be those who get great
reviews on IAFD or Xcritic.

00:27:56.700 --> 00:27:58.220 align:center
Porn film reviews.

00:27:58.300 --> 00:28:00.380 align:center
Directors. Hall of Fame.

00:28:01.860 --> 00:28:03.340 align:center
Genius.

00:28:03.660 --> 00:28:05.300 align:center
If this is your performance
in the first year...

00:28:05.380 --> 00:28:06.980 align:center
...then I'm sure you'll
do wonders in the future.

00:28:07.780 --> 00:28:09.900 align:center
Tell them your mission, if you have any.

00:28:10.900 --> 00:28:14.660 align:center
Nothing, sir. I was thinking
about getting Deepfakes porn.

00:28:14.740 --> 00:28:16.700 align:center
One with 3D virtual reality.

00:28:19.380 --> 00:28:20.620 align:center
You are Dopa.

00:28:20.900 --> 00:28:21.740 align:center
Do...pa.

00:28:21.820 --> 00:28:23.260 align:center
Do...pa. You are Dopa.

00:28:23.340 --> 00:28:24.700 align:center
Hello.

00:28:25.660 --> 00:28:28.380 align:center
You should fold your hands to Dopa,
and not shake them.

00:28:31.060 --> 00:28:33.340 align:center
I've made your folder public again.
Come on. Get to work.

00:28:33.420 --> 00:28:36.300 align:center
And listen, if you need anything.

00:28:36.500 --> 00:28:38.780 align:center
Just say it in front of
any laptop or phone on a campus.

00:28:39.340 --> 00:28:40.500 align:center
We'll hear it.

00:28:42.730 --> 00:28:43.900 align:center
We're leaving now.

00:28:44.900 --> 00:28:45.940 align:center
We've got some work to do.

00:28:47.820 --> 00:28:48.860 align:center
Move.

00:28:52.660 --> 00:28:54.020 align:center
Fsociety.

00:28:55.020 --> 00:28:58.180 align:center
Great! You are a Dopa now.

00:28:58.780 --> 00:29:00.340 align:center
Great.

00:29:00.620 --> 00:29:02.260 align:center
Who were they, Jhantoo?

00:29:02.340 --> 00:29:03.380 align:center
These guys are very famous.

00:29:03.460 --> 00:29:05.780 align:center
They hacked the Sudama Bank's website.

00:29:05.860 --> 00:29:07.660 align:center
Every student on the campus knows about it.

00:29:07.740 --> 00:29:09.980 align:center
What? Everyone?

00:29:10.300 --> 00:29:13.540 align:center
Then I should've
joined the hacking club.

00:29:14.640 --> 00:29:15.720 align:center
I can't believe it.

00:29:15.740 --> 00:29:18.620 align:center
They came into your
room and made you Dopa.

00:29:18.980 --> 00:29:22.580 align:center
Jhantoo, what is Dopa?

00:29:24.020 --> 00:29:28.260 align:center
D-O-P-A. Dopa.

00:29:28.660 --> 00:29:32.180 align:center
It means, 'Dean of Pondy Affairs.'

00:29:32.820 --> 00:29:35.220 align:center
I'm sure you're wonderig what Pondy is.

00:29:35.740 --> 00:29:37.820 align:center
It's the nickname for pornography.

00:29:38.180 --> 00:29:39.420 align:center
You're right.

00:29:39.500 --> 00:29:42.500 align:center
In engineering colleges,
there's a nickname even for pornography.

00:29:42.740 --> 00:29:43.900 align:center
Pondy!

00:29:44.140 --> 00:29:45.880 align:center
At hostels, you can earn

00:29:46.220 --> 00:29:51.640 align:center
cult status, social service and
responsibility through Pondy,

00:29:52.060 --> 00:29:53.220 align:center
and make you 'the Dopa.'

00:29:54.020 --> 00:29:57.740 align:center
Selfish people collect coins,
stamps and souvenirs for themselves.

00:29:58.140 --> 00:30:02.300 align:center
But Dopa collects porn for everyone.

00:30:03.450 --> 00:30:05.890 align:center
"The world is my family."

00:30:09.940 --> 00:30:13.620 align:center
An ideal Dopa keeps
everyone's preference in mind.

00:30:14.140 --> 00:30:15.060 align:center
His.

00:30:15.660 --> 00:30:16.700 align:center
His.

00:30:16.940 --> 00:30:17.940 align:center
His.

00:30:18.020 --> 00:30:19.940 align:center
And his.

00:30:20.740 --> 00:30:27.300 align:center
Only he knows what's being downloaded
in which corner of the girl's hostel.

00:30:28.900 --> 00:30:31.500 align:center
But Dopa never reveals.

00:30:32.800 --> 00:30:33.740 align:center
What?

00:30:33.860 --> 00:30:35.020 align:center
Nothing.

00:30:36.060 --> 00:30:37.900 align:center
There are times when
not a single person from

00:30:37.930 --> 00:30:39.770 align:center
the entire batch knows
about Dopa's identity.

00:30:39.960 --> 00:30:44.060 align:center
But the batches that don't have a Dopa,
know how it feels to not have one.

00:30:44.740 --> 00:30:47.780 align:center
Dopa cannot write his
achievements on his resume...

00:30:48.140 --> 00:30:50.220 align:center
...nor he can say it on any interview.

00:30:50.740 --> 00:30:53.540 align:center
But he still works all night.

00:30:56.700 --> 00:30:58.180 align:center
'Musu Musu Haasi...'

00:31:00.140 --> 00:31:01.500 align:center
'Deo Malai Lai'

00:31:01.700 --> 00:31:02.820 align:center
Again.

00:31:03.300 --> 00:31:05.700 align:center
Play it.

00:31:06.740 --> 00:31:12.740 align:center
'Musu Musu Haasi'

00:31:13.060 --> 00:31:16.340 align:center
Because feeding
a hungry soul his favourite food...

00:31:16.420 --> 00:31:21.500 align:center
...and watching him sleep comfortably
is a blissful feeling.

00:31:38.700 --> 00:31:40.420 align:center
You're back!
ng him sleep comfortably
is a blissful feeling.