[intro music playing]
[Lawler] Hey, Regal with a roll-up.
[Ross] That was a fast count.
Stephanie fast-counted Austin.
Does Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley truly realize what she has done?
[Lawler] "Stone Cold" Steve Austin outside the Freeman Coliseum
and Stephanie arrives.
May God have mercy on her soul.
[Austin] Get out of there Steph, I know you're in there. Get out of there.
[Stephanie] Steve.
[Austin] You're ass is mine now.
[Lawler] Get some security, get the police.
[Cole] Austin's stalking Stephanie, King. Stephanie is frantic.
[Austin] Tonight, you will learn
to listen to "Stone Cold" Steve Austin.
[Cole] It's Stephanie's father, Mr. McMahon.
[Lawler] No, it's a knight in shining armor.
[McMahon] You've become a certifiable rat reigning lunatic
just because my daughter Stephanie got a little carried away.
Because of that, you wanna do bodily harm
to daddy's little girl?
Like hell you will, Austin. You won't harm a hair on her on her head
and I'll tell you why,
because there will be a Triple Threat Match.
You, Kane, and Undertaker will in fact compete.
If you're victorious tonight live on Raw,
it's Austin for the WWE Championship in the match you want.
I will compete here tonight, but you know what, Vince?
You didn't say a damn thing
about daddy.
-[Cole] Wait a minute. -[Lawler] Oh, God, stunner!
Austin stunner-ed Mr. McMahon. I can't believe this.
You know, we've decided that Triple Threat Match needs a very
special troubleshooting referee on the outside.
Me.
[crowd cheering]
[Cole] King, all hell's gonna break loose here tonight.
Undertaker, Kane, "Stone Cold" in a Triple Threat Match
with a special troubleshooting referee, Mr. McMahon at ring side.
-Oh, look out, Rikishi. -[Lawler exclaims]
[Cole] Undertaker's already choke slammed Austin
-and Kane. -[Lawler] He's got Rikishi.
[Cole] And now Rikishi for good measure.
-Wait a minute, Austin-- -[Lawler] Stunner!
[Cole] Stunner to The Undertaker. Here's the cover.
-McMahon making the count. -[Lawler] What?
[Cole] I can't believe it.
You've got to admit, Mr. McMahon did the right thing.
[Lawler] He counted out The Undertaker.
Stone Cold's the winner.
[Cole] "Stone Cold" gets Kurt Angle the title on the line.
Live on Raw!
[opening theme music playing]
[crowd cheering]
[Ross] The atmosphere is electrifying in the sold-out San Jose Arena
because tonight, it's "Stone Cold" Steve Austin
challenging Kurt Angle for the WWE Championship.
All fans around the world including WWE New York
on their feet and ready for the slobberknocker of the year, King.
[Lawler] Oh, my gosh.
I'm a Kurt Angle fan, but I got to admit,
things don't look good for our Olympic gold medalist tonight.
[Ross] Uh-oh.
[Lawler] Wait a minute.
Hey.
["No Chance In Hell" playing]
[Ross] It sounds like we're gonna be joined, yes, we are,
by your hero, Mr. McMahon.
[Lawler] Well, he should be your hero too.
Look at Vince McMahon. This is the man that gave,
I mean, literally gave the Rattlesnake this title match tonight.
He counted out…
He counted Steve Austin as the winner fair and square.
[announcer] The chairman of the World Wrestling Entertainment,
Vince McMahon.
[Lawler] He gave him the match, JR. Come on, admit it.
-[Ross] Well, yes, he did. -[Lawler] Right.
[Ross] Mr. McMahon,
there's absolutely no telling what he has on his mind here tonight,
but we know what's on our mind
and what's on our mind
is the World Wrestling Entertainment Championship.
It has been a year-long saga for "Stone Cold" to get back
with this opportunity on this night, on this broadcast,
and for the sold-out crowd and you at home to regain the WWE title.
[Lawler] Look at Vince, he's full of himself.
For those of you who have not made a new year's resolution,
I have one for you.
-[crowd cheering] -[Lawler] Oh, boy. Here we go.
Let's hear this. This ought to be good.
It's a good resolution and quite frankly, it's also good advice.
I would suggest that you adopt
the new year's resolution of respecting authority.
[crowd booing]
[Lawler] Yeah, that's good.
Everybody should respect authority.
What?
Now, based upon what we saw on SmackDown last Thursday,
I think you'll concur with me
there's certainly at least one individual who does not respect…
[crowd singing]
[Lawler] Hey now, wait a minute. Speaking of respect,
show some respect to Mr. McMahon.
Who does not respect authority at all.
Now, let's roll some footage here I'm sure you'll agree with me
that this individual does not respect authority.
Look at this.
-[Lawler] Uh-oh. The Rock. -[crowd cheering]
[Ross] Well, The Rock last Thursday night on UPN SmackDown.
Laid the SmackDown on not one but two referees, King.
[Lawler] Yeah, look at this. These referees are authority figures.
-[Ross] And the… -[Lawler] And look.
[Ross] And those referees are both injured
and neither are able to perform their duties here tonight,
are not here because of The Rock and their injuries
sustained at the hands of the Rock Bottom.
Oh, sure, you can chant his name all you want,
but the thing of it is, Rock will learn to respect authority
here tonight.
-[Lawler] Uh-oh. How's that? -You see, my daughter Stephanie.
My daughter Stephanie came up with a very good idea
and that is, that Rock will compete right here in this very ring tonight.
[crowd cheering]
[Lawler] Well, Stephanie's a chip off the old block, isn't she?
And my daughter Stephanie has a suggestion of Rock,
versus both Kane and Rikishi
in a handicap match.
-[Lawler] Whoa. -[Ross] Well, that's not fair.
I know what you're saying. You're all saying that's not fair.
That's not fair and it's not.
My daughter Stephanie agrees with you
and that's why that she's determined to select
two additional tag team partners
for The Rock, that's right.
My daughter Stephanie insists
that it should be The Rock plus two partners
against Kane and Rikishi.
-[Lawler] It's a handicap match. -And Stephanie has vowed to select
those two tag team partners of The Rock,
from the rank and file of the eclectic group
of referees that we have here
in the World Wrestling Entertainment.
-[Lawler] What? -[Ross] The referees?
-[Lawler] What? -So The Rock and two referees
will team up to face Kane and Rikishi
and The Rock, just like all of you, before he leaves here tonight,
will adopt that new year's resolution and learn to respect authority.
[Lawler] Oh, what an eclectic team that'll be.
The Rock and two referees.
Oh, wow.
Now, as far as "Stone Cold" Steve Austin is concerned--
-[Lawler] Oh boy, here we go. -[Ross] The Rattlesnake is here.
100% ready to go.
[McMahon] Many of you saw the match that I officiated
in which "Stone Cold" was involved.
By the way, I thought I looked pretty good in that double X referee shirt
with the sleeves cut out, but that's a different story.
-[Lawler] Did you see those guns, JR? -[Ross] Yeah.
Many individuals seem to be perplexed as to why I, Vince McMahon,
would count one, two, three
to count "Stone Cold" Steve Austin on to victory.
-[Ross] Yeah, no kidding. -It certainly was not
because I'm intimidated by Austin.
-[Lawler] No. -No.
It's simply because
this is a new year.
And quite frankly…
I'm a new man.
-[Lawler] Oh. -I am.
[crowd booing]
I'm a new man and quite frankly, I've made a new year's resolution
just as all of you have adopted now to learn to respect authority.
My new year's resolution is simply to be fair,
to be fair in everything that I do.
Tough, but fair.
And you see, the message I was sending to Austin on SmackDown
was the same message I sent every other WWE Superstar.
The same message I sent each and every one of you.
The same message I sent a worldwide television audience.
And that is simply if two men
like Vince McMahon and "Stone Cold" Steve Austin
can get along, if we can make a deal
and then live up to the terms and conditions of that deal,
then why can't the republicans and the democrats get along?
[Lawler] Yeah. Why not?
Why can't… Why can't there be peace in the Middle East?
[Lawler] Yeah.
You see…
I, Vince McMahon, I believe in leadership.
-[Lawler] There we go. -I believe in leadership by example.
[Lawler] What a statesman.
["Glass Shatters" playing]
[Lawler] Wait a minute.
[Ross] Here comes a Texas-size Rattlesnake leadership
and there'll be no recount.
Here comes Stone Cold who wants to leave here tonight
as the new WWE Champion.
[Lawler] Why would he come out here now
when Vince was telling us all about his new year's resolution?
I mean, Vince almost had them.
He almost had the world's problems solved.
[Ross] "Stone Cold" Steve Austin
has the look of a WWE Champion.
Austin knows it's gonna be a war with the Olympian, Kurt Angle,
the reigning WWE Champion.
But Austin's making his presence here, King,
for some reason here in the early goings interrupting Mr. McMahon's dissertation.
[Lawler] Well, maybe he wants to congratulate Mr. McMahon on…
peace in the Middle East or something like that.
I hope that's what he wants to do.
[crowd cheering]
Leadership by example?
What kind of leadership are you talking about?
Hell, what kind of example are you talking about?
You know, look at my eyes, Vince, because I don't believe you
and I don't trust you one bit.
[Lawler] Now, wait a minute. What?
As far as I'm concerned, I'm gonna stick with my little deal, Vince.
That's DTA,
Don't Trust Anybody.
[crowd cheering]
And you know what?
You say you're a changed man.
Well, I'm not buying that bull [bleep] either.
-[Lawler] What? -[Ross] Wow, excuse us.
[crowd cheering]
There's an old saying, Vince.
That a leopard can't change its spots.
Well, neither can a jackass.
[crowd cheering]
Oh, no, no, no, no. I know what you're thinking.
You're thinking a jackass don't have spots.
I know that.
But if it looks like a jackass…
[Lawler] Hey, wait a minute.
…and it smells like a jackass.
[Ross] Guess what?
…then it's a damn jackass.
[crowd cheering]
[Lawler] Don't make him mad.
Since you're out here sending messages,
I'm gonna give you my message.
It's the same message I gave daddy's little girl.
Vince, you stay out of my life
and I'll let you continue to have yours.
-[Ross] Wow. -[crowd cheering]
And my message tonight is…
I'm gonna beat Kurt Angle's Olympic ass right here in this very ring
and be the World Wrestling Entertainment Champion
and that's the bottom line, because "Stone Cold" said so.
-["Medal" playing] -[crowd cheering]
[Ross] Oh, wait.
Oh, that's our WWE Champion, Kurt Angle.
He's got to have something to say about that.
[Lawler] I would hope so.
He'll shut this Rattlesnake up.
He'll put that "Stone Cold" Steve Austin in his place.
[music continues]
[Ross] You can feel the tension here.
[Lawler] Look, you can tell that Vince,
had nothing to do with Angle coming out here now.
[Ross] Well, I don't doubt that.
At least I don't think I do.
[Lawler] If Vince can make peace between these two guys,
he would be a miracle worker.
-[Ross] That ain't gonna happen. -[Lawler] I know.
-[Ross] Because what Angle's wearing. -Wow, Austin, I'm impressed.
That's a lot of great talk.
Calling Mr. McMahon a jackass.
Beating Kurt Angle's Olympic ass.
[crowd cheering]
Well, when you talk about lack of leadership
and setting an example, you definitely take the cake, Mr. Austin.
[crowd chanting] Angle sucks! Angle sucks!
[Lawler] I've never seen so much lack of respect for authority
in my life.
[chanting continues]
Were you always a great talker, Mr. Austin?
I mean…
were you always a great talker, say, back in 1996?
You know, back when you were having strap matches
-with Savio Vega? -[Lawler laughs]
While I was bringing honor and glory
to this rather ungrateful country of ours.
[crowd booing]
See, Austin, I take great exception to the fact that you assume
just because you have your title shot tonight
that the gold is yours for the taking.
[Lawler] You know that's what the Rattlesnake assumes.
You wanna talk about something?
Let's talk about Hell in a Cell in Armageddon.
Six of the top superstars in World Wrestling Entertainment,
including you, Mr. Austin.
And whose hand was raised in victory in the end?
It was mine.
Not yours. It was me.
[Lawler] It's true. It's true.
[laughs] It's true.
[crowd booing]
You people can boo all you want.
I am still the WWE Champion.
[crowd booing]
[Ross] Tell them. Tell them, Kurt.
When there was a Fatal 4-Way in Madison Square Garden
between The Rock, Undertaker, you, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, and myself,
who walked away still the WWE Champion?
I did.
[Lawler] Once again, it's true. It's true.
-[Lawler chuckles] -[Angle] So, Mr. Austin…
when you talk about a champion, a true champion
and a man that's sets an example,
you're talking about me.
-[crowd booing] -And I'm not gonna let this title go
for anybody, especially…
somebody like you, Mr. Austin.
A beer-drinking truck-driving redneck…
-[Lawler gasps] -[crowd booing]
…that can pour beer over a poor defenseless young woman.
That, Austin, doesn't impress me one bit, mister.
[Lawler] The Rattlesnake did that.
Well, if you want something to impress you,
how about that right there?
-[Lawler gasps] -[crowd cheering]
[Ross] Wow.
If you wanna see the man
who brought honor and glory to the United States
get his ass whipped tonight and lose the WWE title
to "Stone Cold" Steve Austin,
give me a, " Hell yeah!"
[crowd shouting] Hell, yeah!
["Glass Shatters" playing]
[Ross] Well, I think it's unanimous.
Austin… Hey, wait a minute.
-[Lawler] Look out! -[Ross] From behind, the WWE Champion
from behind nailed Austin
in the back of the head with the WWE title belt.
[Lawler] There'll be no beer drinking before this big match by, JR.
[laughing]
[Ross] Mr. McMahon seems to be somewhat upset at Angle's actions.
But the bottom line as what the Rattlesnake would say,
is of here tonight, yes, time is ticking.
Live tonight, Austin and Angle for the WWE title, live.
[inaudible]
[Ross] We are back, ladies and gentlemen, live here in San Jose
and just moments ago, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin
finished his dissertation and then watch the sneak attack.
If you wanna see the man
who brought honor and glory to the United States
get his ass whipped tonight and lose the WWE title
to "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, give me a, "hell, yeah!"
[crowd] Hell, yeah!
[Ross] And then Austin turning his back, which was a mistake,
look at Angle from behind, King, with the the WWE title
nailed the Rattlesnake and how smart was that?
You throw fuel on the fire, it's gonna explode on you.
[Lawler] Well, you gotta admit, the Rattlesnake
-had that coming after all the… -[Ross] Come on.
[Lawler] …degrading remarks he made.
[Ross] Well, folks, last Thursday night, on UPN SmackDown,
we saw Chris Jericho
put Chris Benoit, the Intercontinental Champion,
in The Walls of Jericho.
And then here comes Saturn of The Radicalz and…
-and Staurn… -[bell dings]
[Ross] …and Benoit doing a double team on Jericho.
[Lawler] I admit, it was wrong. But two wrongs don't make a right.
Then why did the Hardy Boyz have to come out
interfere in, well, in the proceedings?
[Ross] It has led off to this six-man tag team match-up.
Y2J and the Hardys versus the Radicalz here tonight, live.
-[explosion] -[crowd cheering]
["Break Down The Walls" playing]
[Ross] And we await the arrival and there he is,
of "Y2J" Chris Jericho.
-Jericho and Chris Benoit… -[bell dinging]
[Ross] …on a collision course it would seem.
[announcer] …contest is scheduled for one fall.
Introducing first from Winnipeg, Canada,
weighing in at 227 pounds, Chris Jericho.
[crowd cheering]
[Lawler] Well, I hope he doesn't come out here and say anything bad
about Stephanie.
[Ross] I'm sure that Jericho's mind tonight
is far away, at least it should be, from Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley.
It better be on The Radicalz
as Jericho momentarily will be joined by Matt and Jeff Hardy.
-["Loaded" playing] -[crowd cheering]
[announcer] And his partners being accompanied by Lita,
from Cameron, North Carolina,
weighing in at a combined weight of 430 pounds, Matt and Jeff,
The Hardy Boyz.
[Ross] Lita looking pretty in pink.
[Lawler] Oh, yeah. Pretty hot.
[Ross] One of over 30 WWE superstars
that'll be live tomorrow night in Oakland, California.
-[Lawler] Woo-hoo. -[Ross] Tickets still available
for the big event in Oakland, tomorrow night with a 7:30 start time.
["Radical" playing]
[Ross] Well, certainly the lust…
[Lawler whoops]
[Ross] …of Dean Malenko towards Lita has been world documented.
We'll take a look back at last Thursday night on UPN SmackDown.
[Lawler] Yeah, finally. Dean gave her what she wanted.
But why is she playing so hard to get?
[Ross] And Lita had a victory over Terri and look at Malenko.
Now look, what kind of human being is this?
-[Lawler] Well… -[Ross] What kind of man is Dean Malenko?
Other than a married man?
[Lawler] Lita never should have slapped Dean.
[Ross] He's a little bit handsy if you ask me.
[Lawler] Handsome?
-[Ross] Handsy. -[Lawler] Oh.
[Ross] And here, the Hardys and Jericho
not gonna waste any time here
-with these Radicalz. -[bell dinging]
[Ross] Scheduled to be a Six-Man Tag Team match-up
and Terri keeping her distance from Lita as well.
As Matt Hardy
-who wants to dismantle… -[Lawler] Oh.
[Ross] …Dean Malenko, gets nailed from behind by Perry Saturn.
[Lawler] I think Matt's a little jealous of Dean, don't you?
I hear through the grapevine that Matt's also got the hots for Lita.
I can't blame him, but…
[Ross] There's a lot of guys who've got the hots for Lita.
And I'm sure a lot of them, including Matt Hardy are not married.
Malenko's old enough to be her uncle,
-for goodness' sake. -[Lawler] Malenko straightened that out
when we had him out here. He told you.
His wife's married. He's not. Look out!
[crowd cheering]
[Ross] Signature Hardy, offensive weaponry here.
[Lawler] JR, hadn't you ever heard of one of those open marriages?
[Ross] I've heard of them.
I don't know much about them, but I've heard, read about it someplace.
[Lawler] Well, I think that-- oh.
[Ross] And this Benoit is a machine. He's the Intercontinental Champion.
It's Chris Benoit and Benoit--
-[Lawler] Oh, man. -[Ross] Just drilling Jeff Hardy.
Suplex, the cover and a near fall.
But these Radicalz, they're as good as they are in my book.
And these six-man tags
and tag team matches in general, they have… Oh!
What total disrespect.
-[Lawler laughs] -[Ross] That's appalling.
[Lawler] Well, they got a little of that sinus build up, you know?
[Ross] Well, then get a tissue for God's sakes.
There's the cover and Benoit…
Excuse me, Jericho almost made the save there,
but it wasn't necessary on that occasion.
Man, never underestimate the tenacity and the…
Quite frankly the sadistic tendencies of Perry Saturn.
[Lawler] He's sadistic all right.
[Ross] These Radicalz have been in the WWE for just under one year now.
Oh man.
[Lawler] Look at Terri. Oh, look at the look on that face.
[Lawler] Look at those eyes, the intensity.
Don't make a remark about Perry Saturn's eyes either, JR.
[Ross] I'll leave that up to you. You're pretty good at it.
Nice tag in as Saturn steps out. Benoit steps in as a…
[Lawler] Oh, oh.
[Ross] What a neckbreaker there by Benoit on Jeff Hardy who's been isolated.
There's the lateral press. No, it's not gonna be this time.
[Lawler] But you can say something about Jeff Hardy's hair if you want to.
[Ross] It's somewhat colorful, is it not?
[Lawler] I think his hairstyle has a drinking problem.
-[Ross] What do you mean by that? -[Lawler] I mean,
nobody can be sober and do that to somebody else's head, could they?
[Ross] Saturn back in, again, Jeff Hardy has been isolated here.
On a night where "Stone Cold" challenges Kurt Angle for the WWE title.
One of the most eagerly anticipated match-ups,
and certainly Austin has earned the right to meet Angle here tonight.
And Jeff Hardy fighting from a precarious position on top rope.
[Lawler] Look out, Perry.
-Man. -[Ross] Swanton Bomb by Jeff Hardy
who may have hurt himself there, King.
[Lawler] He landed partially on his own head.
Oh, man.
[Ross] An emotional night.
It's almost got a Royal Rumble atmosphere here.
-And there's the tag, Jericho in. -[crowd cheering]
[Ross] Jericho and Benoit
have one of the most heated rivalries in the WWE.
Beautiful spinning heel kick.
Now the clothesline knockdown and down goes--
[Lawler] Terri, what are you doing?
-[crowd cheering] -[Lawler] What are you doing?
Look out!
What a brute. There you go.
[Ross] And a suplex by Saturn after Jericho took care of Terri.
[Lawler] Is Terri okay? Is she all right?
-Terri, are you okay? -[Ross] Look out.
Benoit trying to go for the Crippler Crossface.
Benoit finding the Crippler Cross… He's countered. Backslide, backslide.
-And he got it. -[bell dinging]
-[Ross] Benoit got beat by Jericho. -[announcer] Here are your winners,
Chris Jericho and The Hardy Boyz.
[Lawler] Wait a minute.
[Ross] Jericho just got out-maneuvered by Chris Jericho.
[Lawler] Look out.
Lita.
Oh, look out.
-[Ross] Oh, my God. -[Lawler laughing]
[Ross] Look at what Malenko did to Lita. Good gosh Almighty.
[Lawler] See, there'll be no hotdogging for her.
[Ross] The concessionaire got his cart stolen
and poured all over Lita.
After Christ Jericho out-maneuvered Chris Benoit.
[Lawler] Would you like a little pickle with that, ma'am?
[Ross] Oh.
I'm losing a lot of respect for Dean Malenko, I'll tell you.
[Lawler] How much can the man take?
How much can he be spurred?
[Ross] She's not interested, King. Lita's not interested in Malenko.
He's a married man.
[Lawler] Take a look at this.
I still can't… I didn't even see what happened here.
I thought certain that Benoit had the Crippler Crossface
-next thing, I look up and-- -[bell dings]
[Ross] And Lita may have celebrated a little too soon here.
[Lawler] What do you mean celebrated? That's not celebrate.
That's spurring the affection of Dean Malenko and then look at this!
Oh, man.
[Ross] That mustard and those sodas, hotdogs all on her hair.
[Lawler] Uh-oh.
[crowd cheering]
Now, you all know why I summoned you in here.
Because I need two volunteers
to team with The Rock.
To take on Kane and Rikishi.
-What? -Excuse me, Mrs. Helmsley,
with all due respect, we're not trained WWE Superstars.
And Mrs. Helmsley, that's not in my contract.
I'm here to be a referee.
[all agreeing]
That's right. You are under contract,
but you're under contract to World Wrestling Entertainment.
And just like The Rock needs to learn how to respect authority,
you all need to learn how to respect my authority.
Now, since you two spoke up and so graciously volunteered,
I think I'm going to have to make an executive decision
and place you in the ring first.
-Me? -Oh, yes.
We can't go in the ring!
-Come on! -Oh, you're going.
-You're going. Now, please. -Did you hear what she said? Me.
Thank you. Thank you very much.
[all mumbling]
[Ross] What is Stephanie thinking? This is horrible.
Good luck.
[Ross] We are live in San Jose, California,
where Stone Cold will challenge Kurt Angle for will challenge Kurt Angle
for the WWE title tonight.
The arena here, the Shark Tank, has been sold-out for weeks, King, as we--
[Lawler] Oh, yeah.
Hey, hey, look at this, JR.
Oh, puppies. Do you know who those are?
[Ross] I think I do.
It's the San Francisco Demons XFL cheerleaders.
[Lawler blowing kisses]
[Lawler] Whoa.
Oh, I can't wait for the XFL, JR.
There's gonna be a lot scoring in the XFL
and that's just with the cheerleaders. Yahoo.
[Ross] This was during the break.
It's all right. You can clean up as long as he didn't hurt you.
[Lita] You guys just let me get this crap off me, okay?
-[Matt] Sure, you got it. Cool. -I'll be back.
Nachos and cheese.
Dean Malenko, what a goof. Can you believe that?
[Ross] As the Hardys left, guess who came into the shot?
I'll give you one guess.
[Lawler] Uh, would his initials be DM?
[Ross] Look at Malenko. Like a lecherous human being.
Lita's in there showering.
[Lawler] Maybe he's gonna give her one more chance.
What a guy that Dean is.
[crowd cheering]
Rock, normally, in three-on-two handicap matches,
the team of three has…
[crowd chanting] Rocky! Rocky! Rocky! Rocky! Rocky!
[Lawler] They like The Rock here, don't they?
Finally, The Rock has come back to San Jose.
[crowd cheering]
[Lawler] This place is going nuts.
[The Rock] At this moment,
with a little under two weeks from this very moment.
The Rock is thinking about the Royal Rumble.
The biggest Royal Rumble in the history of the WWE.
30 men all vying for the richest prize in sports entertainment,
the WWE title.
And just as sure as The Rock could care less who he has to beat
at the Royal Rumble.
And just as sure,
of regardless who The Rock has to face at WrestleMania,
whether it'd be Kurt Angle
or whether it'd be "Stone Cold" Steve Austin himself.
[crowd cheering]
The Rock…
Well, let The Rock put it like this.
"Stone Cold" Steve Austin,
if you win the WWE Championship tonight, congratulations…
because you're gonna have a date with destiny.
You're gonna have a date
with something that's gonna change the course,
change the face of sports entertainment as we know it today.
Quite frankly, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin,
if you become champion tonight, you're gonna have a date with The Rock.
[crowd cheering]
And speaking of tonight, Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley,
you think you impress The Rock by running your mouth?
You think you impress The Rock? Daddy's little girl impressing The Rock?
You don't impress The Rock for one single solitary second.
Quite frankly, you've taught The Rock a lesson.
The even someone like you, Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley,
a two dollar, no, fifty cent,
no, I'll take all the quarters, nickels, dimes, and pennies,
put them all in a bag and I'll stick them straight up your candy ass slot.
[crowd cheering]
-[Lawler] Oh, my gosh. -[Ross] Man, oh man.
You will never ever impress The Rock.
So regardless of whether you place The Rock tonight
in a match, a handicap match,
with The Rock and two other referees against Rikishi and Kane.
Well, The Rock says this,
just as sure as The Rock is gonna go out there tonight
layeth the smacketh down,
just to as sure as The Rock stands before you today
and just as sure that this ugly hermaphrodite
will be sipping drinks at the hermaphrodite club in the city.
[Lawler laughs]
-[crowd cheering] -Is as sure
as The Rock is going to the Royal Rumble,
going through them all
and as sure as The Rock is going to WrestleMania.
If you smell la, la, la, la, la
what The Rock is cooking.
["Electrifying" playing]
[Ross] A lot of things have got to happen before The Rock
and "Stone Cold" could perhaps go to WrestleMania.
The Rock's got to survive quite frankly tonight.
[Lawler] Rock's taking a lot for granted, hey, wait a minute.
Is this Lita's shower?
-What the heck? -[Ross] Oh, look at Malenko.
[Lawler] Look, I can see--
Through the curtain.
Yahoo.
[crowd cheering]
[Ross] What a sick human being.
[Malenko] Hey, babe,
-thought I could give you a hand. -What are you doing Dean?
Get the hell out of here.
-[Lita] Dean, get out! get out! -I just want to give you a hand.
-[Ross] He has no-- -[Lawler] Oh, man.
[Ross] The Hardys are back.
[Lawler] What are they doing in the ladies locker room?
[Ross] Malenko had no business in Lita's shower area.
[Lawler] What are the Hardys doing there?
[Ross] They're tearing apart Dean Malenko is what they're doing.
[Lawler] Hey, hey, wait a minute.
No, wait. You can't do that. Get some guard in there.
Look at this…
[Ross] The Hardys right in Malenko's leg.
[Lawler] They're trying to break his legs.
They're trying to end Dean Malenko's career.
[Ross] Matt and Jeff Hardy taking strong exception
to Dean Malenko's hideous actions.
[Lawler] Get the camera back in the shower.
-What the… -Get 'em out of here.
I can't believe it.
Well, ladies and gentlemen,
we'll get you an update on Dean Malenko momentarily
and we're also gonna tell you later on how you can become a WWE Superstar, King.
With some huge news. but on another subject.
One of the great WWE Superstars
in recent years has been the "Ninth Wonder of the World" Chyna.
And King, her career is certainly in jeopardy.
It could be over and earlier this weekend,
Michael Cole had the opportunity to sit down and talk to Chyna,
but let's show you how Chyna was injured.
King, you know better than anybody.
[Lawler] Well, the piledriver and not just any piledriver, a spike piledriver,
you see there not only Val Venis, but Ivory giving that little extra punch
to drive Chyna's head right into the mat and did some serious, serious damage
not only to Chyna's neck, but her whole spinal column.
Well, thanks to RTC,
Ivory and Val, specifically, Chyna's life has changed
as she talked to Michael Cole this weekend.
[Cole] Chyna, I have to tell you, you look great.
Can you give us an update on your condition?
Thanks, Michael.
Well, I've been going through a lot of extensive therapy on my neck.
Hopefully, in place of surgery now.
I know I'm not 100%,
but I'm definitely working towards recovery.
Is there a chance we could see you back in the ring, and if so,
perhaps at the level of competition that you're accustomed to?
It's questionable.
If you ask me, I'm gonna say, you know, yes.
If you ask the doctors, they're gonna say, that I should never wrestle again,
that I was very lucky that time.
Lucky.
You know, it's disappointing for me.
This is the first time now in two years,
I will not be able to participate in the Royal Rumble.
I guess we'll just have to see what happens.
I know it's got to be difficult, but what does Chyna do now?
Well, I know tonight, I'm gonna just sit back
and I'm gonna watch Billy give Val a night of living hell.
And I really hope that that little bitch Ivory gets involved,
because I think Billy might have a little bit something left for her.
[Ross] Chyna referring to what's coming up next,
a Lumberjack Match,
"The One" Billy Gunn gets his hands for retribution on Val Venis, next.
We are back live in the sold-out San Jose Arena.
Here come The Acolytes
and they will be Lumberjacks surrounding the ring
for the upcoming match-up between "The One" Billy Gunn and Val Venis
and we all will never forget,
it was Val Venis and Ivory who have crippled Chyna.
Well, Billy, what can we expect out of you
in your Lumberjack Match tonight against Val Venis?
A good friend of mine, Chyna, may never compete in the WWE again
because of the man I'm about to face tonight,
and there's nothing, nothing I can do to help her with that.
So you can expect out of me, tonight,
to make Val Venis feel as helpless as he's making her feel.
And it's not gonna be for his own good.
-["Censorship" playing] -[Lawler] Oh man.
[Ross] "The One" Billy Gunn got a huge score to settle here
on the night where "Stone Cold" will challenge Kurt Angle
for the WWE title live here tonight.
-And here comes Val Venis. -[bell dings]
[announcer] The following is a Lumberjack Match and it is scheduled for one fall.
Introducing first, Right to Censor member,
weighing in at 244 pounds, Val Venis.
[Lawler] JR, this is gonna be a huge night.
Did I hear you mention something earlier about you're gonna tell people out there
how they can become a WWE Superstar tonight?
[Ross] Absolutely.
["I've Got It All" playing]
[announcer] His opponent, weighing in at 269 pounds,
he is "The One" Billy Gunn.
[Ross] And "The One" Billy Gunn
-and Val Venis. -[bell dings]
[Ross] Both men, if they're able, will be in Detroit at The Joe
this Saturday night.
A huge live WWE extravaganza in Detroit this Saturday night
and here's the purpose of the lumberjacks.
[Lawler] Hey, hey, wait a minute. Now, that's not…
[Ross] Val Venis conveniently threw "The One"
out of the ring on the side of the Right to Censor.
[Lawler] Whoa. Oh man, what a shot.
[crowd cheering]
[Lawler] Look at this.
[Ross] This is a hellacious Lumberjack match-up.
[Lawler] I thought these guys were
just supposed to throw the participants back in the ring?
[Ross] You're right.
That's the general structure of the match-up.
[Lawler] How'd these matches come about, JR? In the old lumber camps?
Two guys wanting to settle differences, all the lumberjacks gather around them
and they had to fight and if one tried to run away
the others would stop them, right?
-[crowd cheering] -[Ross] That's as the legend goes.
[Lawler] That's why we got these guys to stop them from running,
throw them in the ring, but they're beating them entirely.
[Ross] Look at The Acolytes.
Faarooq and Bradshaw who love to fight anyway,
and have no love lost
for the Right to Censor to say the very least.
[Lawler] Well, I don't either.
[Ross] King, I know you're gonna be in Madison, Wisconsin, this Sunday night.
[Lawler] Looking forward to that.
-[Ross] Big event in Madison, Wisconsin. -[Lawler] The King in action. Ooh!
[Ross] And what a jackhammer by "The One" Billy Gunn.
-[Lawler] Hey, look out. -[Ross] And Bull Buchanan.
And now the Goodfather.
[Lawler] You know what I don't agree with, why… Whoa!
[Ross] Nice spinebuster here.
[Lawler] Why would Val Venis in the match
get to have the other Right to Censor guys as lumberjacks?
-That doesn't seem fair, does it? -[Ross] It doesn't really,
but at the same respect, why are the APA out here
because we know their animosity
toward anyone that belongs to Right to Censor,
so I guess that's fair as far as the McMahons are concerned
and I would say it's fair.
"The One" Billy Gunn, certainly a good friend of Chyna's,
a lot of talk about Chyna's career,
obviously, it is in huge doubt and many of us are very skeptical
that she will ever compete again. Oh.
[Lawler] Talk about careers being in doubt.
-What about the careers-- -[Ross] Suplex, here we go.
[Lawler] Those poor referees, like Teddy Long.
He's gonna have to actually get out here and wrestle tonight against Rikishi
and can you believe this?
[Ross] And from what I understand, Teddy Long's got to start the match.
-[Lawler] Oh, no. -[Ross] With The Rock
and the other referee Jack Doan on the outside against Kane and Rikishi.
[Lawler] Poor Teddy Long.
He's not a wrestler.
-Look out. -[Ross] And neither is Jack Doan.
Man, they're being thrown to the lions here,
gonna be eaten by the wolves if you know what I mean?
-[Lawler] Oh, man! -[Ross] And a tilt-a-whirl slam
by "The One" Billy Gunn.
[crowd cheering]
[Lawler] People have to learn to respect authority.
[Ross] It's such an emotional night, here in San Jose, California,
where Stone Cold's year-long quest
when many thought he would never even back in the game,
is competing for the richest prize in the business here tonight live.
[crowd cheering]
[Lawler] This match has got to be putting a smile on Chyna's face right now.
[Ross] I feel very badly for Chyna with all her success in Playboy,
her new book about to come out later this month,
to have her career apparently taken away from her by Right to Censor.
It's just… It's just sad. It's just… It's a tragedy.
[Lawler] Here we go.
-Turnabout is fair play. -[crowd cheering]
Once--
[Ross] Looked like The One had a piledriver on his mind.
[crowd cheering]
[Ross] And look at Val trying to take a walk.
[Lawler] You're not getting very far with The Acolytes around.
[Ross] This is not a good night to have the limber tail.
[Lawler] Oh, look out.
[Ross] Oh, Ivory, what is she thinking?
-[crowd cheering] -[Ross] She's goofier than a pet coon.
[Lawler] Yeah, she is. What's she doing?
What the heck?
-[Ross] Wait. -[Lawler] Throwing Ivory into the…
Get her. Woo-hoo.
[Ross] And Ivory with an ashen white look of pride on her face.
And down goes Val.
-[Lawler] Look. -[Ross] The One got it.
-[Lawler] He got him. -[bell dinging]
-[Ross] Wait a minute. -[crowd cheering]
[Lawler] Uh-oh, look out, JR.
[Ross] RTC attacking The One.
[Lawler] We got a rumble going right here, don't we? [laughs]
[Ross] We got an all-out war here.
At the Royal Rumble, there'll be 30 men in the ring.
[Lawler] Whoa.
["I've Got It All" playing]
-[Ross] "The One" Billy Gunn. -[announcer] Your winner,
"The One" Billy Gunn!
[Lawler] Wel, he got a little satisfaction but not like he'd wanted.
[Ross] But the bottom line, King, is that Chyna is still,
she's still on the shelf, and may be forever.
Kurt, slamming outfit.
Slamming.
By the way, major props on what you did to "Stone Cold" Steve Austin earlier.
-He had it coming. -Yeah, regardless either way,
good luck in your title defense against him tonight.
-Like you need it anyway. -Yeah.
Damn straight I don't need it.
Hey, Kurt, as much as we love what you did to "Stone Cold" Steve Austin,
you, my friend, are gonna love what we have in store for the Dudley Boyz.
What is it?
We don't have time to explain. Just make sure you watch it. Let's go.
-Gotta jet, buddy. -See you my friend.
All right, guys.
[Lawler] Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
[Ross] Well, there are The Rock's tag team partners
against Kane and Rikishi.
-[Lawler] Look at this. -Hey, this is not our idea.
Kane, we were forced into this, you know.
[Ross] The Rock. The Rock is next.
-["Slow Chemical" playing] -[Ross] Oh, we are back live,
and yes, indeed The Big Red Machine
who walked barefoot through hellfire and brimstone
will beat up The Rock or anybody else.
Has a hell of an opportunity along with Rikishi
to damage The Rock two weeks before the Royal Rumble.
[bell dinging]
[announcer] The following handicap match is scheduled for one fall.
Introducing first, weighing in at 323 pounds, Kane.
[crowd cheering]
[Lawler] Watch it.
Oh!
[Ross] Kane will be one of 30 men competing in the New Orleans Arena,
at the Royal Rumble in two weeks.
["Bad Men" playing]
[announcer] His tag team partner weighing in at 423 pounds,
Rikishi.
[Ross] Rikishi also at the Royal Rumble.
The winner of the rumble earns the right to be in the main event
at the biggest event of the year, WrestleMania,
on April 1st, to meet the WWE champion whomever that may be
and after tonight, it could be, it just could be,
"Stone Cold" Steve Austin.
[Lawler] Yeah, and look at that man, that's a bad man right there.
And I pity the fool that has to try to throw him out of the Royal Rumble.
How are you gonna lift 423 pounds and throw him over the top rope, JR?
-[Ross] Forklift. -[Lawler] Forklift?
Is he in the Royal Rumble?
[Ross] The Rock and two referees, Jack Doan and Teddy Long
in a handicap match against the sadistic Kane and the evil Rikishi.
[crowd cheering]
[Lawler] Hey.
What? No entrance music for the referees?
Come on.
[Ross] Well, they're not trained. They're not athletes.
["Electrifying" playing]
[Lawler] Whoa.
[crowd cheering]
[announcer] Introducing their opponents,
the team of Jack Doan, Teddy Long and The Rock.
[Ross] Now, who would've ever have thunk it.
Teddy Long and Jack Doan joining The Rock in tag team action here.
[crowd cheering]
[Ross] And we can thank Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley,
daddy's little girl, for coming up with the handicap match idea.
[Lawler] Well, you got to admit, JR,
this could teach The Rock some respect for authority.
Now, he's gotta depend on those referees.
[chuckles] I mean, basically for his life in this match.
They're his partners.
When he reaches out to a tag, it's gonna be to those referees.
Wait a minute. Rock, you can't start.
[Ross] Well…
[Lawler] I just wish Earl Hebner was out here in this one too.
[Ross] Well, Tim White has got his marching orders.
This is not the referee's call here.
He's just doing what he was told by management
that Teddy Long has got to start this match not The Rock.
And The Rock talking smack like his friend Ray Lewis
of the Baltimore Ravens to the referee, but it's not gonna do him any good.
[Lawler] Come on, Rock, show respect for the authority of the referee.
[Ross] Teddy Long's probably thinking, "Feet, don't fail me now."
-[Lawler chanting] Teddy, Teddy, Teddy. -[bell dinging]
-[Lawler chuckles] This is gonna be great. -[Ross] Look at Rikishi, smiling.
I mean, Rikishi's had sushi bigger than Teddy Long.
[Lawler] For the first time ever, these referees
got to try to earn an honest living. I love it.
It's a good thing Teddy Long's wearing black pants.
[Ross] Teddy Long's got a family. Come on.
-[Lawler] He does? -[Ross] He's not a trained wrestler.
He's not an athlete. He's here to referee.
[Lawler] Come on, Teddy, do something. Give me a hurricanrana.
Spinebuster. Anything. Lay some SmackDown, Teddy.
[Ross] This is just a matter of time.
[Lawler] Oh, no. Not that.
-[Ross] Ooh. -[Lawler gagging]
[Ross] Poor Teddy Long, that big back side of Rikishi,
423 pounds.
[Lawler] Oh, no. Not the Stink Face.
-[crowd cheering] -[Lawler cackling]
[Lawler] Oh, Teddy, if he asks you pull his finger, don't do it.
[Lawler laughing]
[Ross] Teddy Long, what a repulsive experience.
[Lawler] Look at this.
[Ross] And Teddy Long, he made the tag.
[Lawler] How'd he do that?
[Ross] Right between Rikishi's legs and The Rock gets the tag.
-[Lawler] Look out. Whoa! -[crowd cheering]
[Ross] The Great One, going airborne.
And now hammering away at The Big Red Machine.
All three of these men in the Royal Rumble…
-From the New Orleans Arena. -[Lawler] Tag your partners, Rock.
[Ross] …in two weeks.
-[Lawler] Tag one of your partners. -[Ross] Oh!
The Rock, I think he's gonna do it alone here.
With Jack Doan and Teddy Long, two referees,
plus Mike Chioda and Chad Patton
were Rock Bottomed by The Rock last Thursday night.
They're hurt. They're not even here.
[Lawler] See, once again, Rock is showing no respect for the referees.
If he had any respect, he'd let them try to…
Well, at least take part in this match.
-Tag them. -[Ross] Is that what you'd do?
[Lawler] If I were The Rock, I'd tag right anybody now.
I'd even tag you.
And by the way, that's what Mr. McMahon said he should do.
[Ross] Downstairs and a DDT.
And The Rock with the right hand, laying the SmackDown on Kane.
[Lawler] Oh, don't hit him. Don't do it.
Wait a minute. Look at this.
[crowd cheering]
-[Lawler] What the heck? -[Ross] There's a double team.
[Lawler] They're double-teaming.
[Ross] Teddy Long and Jack Doan getting their licks in on Rikishi.
[Lawler] No referee would put boots to Rikishi.
-Look out. -[Ross] Spinebuster.
[crowd cheering]
[Lawler] Oh, no.
[Ross] You're gonna tell me The Rock's gonna beat Rikishi and Kane
virtually all by himself?
[Lawler] That's the most electrifying move in sports entertainment today.
-Not the-- -[Ross] No, not.
[Lawler] Not.
[Ross] Good God Almighty, Kane…
-Kane-- -[Lawler] Look out.
[Ross] What a thunderous chokeslam.
Almost breaking The Rock in half.
[Lawler] Where's that chokeslam from, JR?
-[Ross] All the way from hell. -[Lawler laughs]
[Lawler] Come on, Rock, tag your partners.
[Ross] From downtown hell, came that chokeslam.
[Lawler] Look how high The Rock went.
That's like from heaven all the way to hell, whoo, man!
Tag your… Uh-oh.
[Ross] Oh, wait a minute. And Rikishi at 400 plus
-on The Rock. -[Lawler] Come on, Teddy.
[Ross] This has got to be it.
Oh, The Rock. The Rock kicked out. The Rock kicked out.
[Lawler] Boy, no thanks to his partners,
these two referees, Teddy Long and Jack Doan,
they should've come and tried to help The Rock here.
[Ross] The Rock's emotion got the better of him last Thursday on UPN SmackDown.
-The Rock ended up Rock bottoming… -[Lawler] Laying the SmackDown.
[Ross] …two referees and they were injured.
Chioda and Pat not here tonight.
The McMahons ordered The Rock to take two referees.
In this case, Teddy Long and Jack Doan as his tag team partners here tonight
in this handicap match.
[Lawler] So that The Rock could learn some respect for the officials.
Now, they're his partners. He's gotta respect them.
-Tag. -[Ross] Uh-oh. Uh-oh.
Rock in a helpless state in the corner.
[Lawler] Oh, no.
-[crowd cheering] -[Lawler laughing]
[Lawler] That ain't his beeper going off. He just figured to back up. [groans]
Oh.
-[Ross] Low blow. -[Lawler] Oh, my gosh.
[Ross] The Rock got the low blow in before he got the Stink Face.
-[Lawler] Look out. -[Ross] Whoa. Oh, my God.
What a clothesline.
What impact from that clothesline.
Rikishi turning inside out here
and now Rikishi certainly needs to make the tag.
[Lawler] And so does The Rock. I am begging Jack Doan and Teddy Long
to make themselves useful.
Show some guts you cowards, get in there.
[Ross] Well, King, they're not trained, they didn't wanna be in this match.
Long and Doan, are not athletes.
-[Lawler] But they're men, aren't they? -[Ross] Well they are that.
[Ross] Oh. The Rock fighting out for his career.
Fighting for his life, here.
-Against Kane and Rikishi. -[Lawler gasps]
[Lawler] Uh-oh.
-Look at The Rock go. -[crowd cheering]
[Ross] Samoan drop.
The leg is hooked and we got…
No! They had a long time two count.
[Lawler] That was mighty, mighty close.
Look out! Oh, man, did you hear that shot, JR?
[Ross] Almost going it alone. Indeed I did.
And The Rock looking for the Rock Bottom.
-[Lawler exclaims] -[Ross] What a shot right to the temple!
The super kick right to the temple by Rikishi,
knocking down The Rock, and The Rock now has been decimated.
[Lawler] It's a classic two-on-one.
This could happen at the Rumble too, JR. Wait a minute, what's Kane doing?
Get out of his way, Lilian.
[Ross] Oh, my God. Kane's got a steel chair.
[Lawler] Well, it's obviously for these two referees.
They're not doing anything anyways, might as well sit and watch the match.
-[Ross] Jack Doan-- -[Lawler] See, look at Jack,
"give me the chair. I wanna sit down."
-[Ross] Tim White just got shoved down. -[bell dinging]
-[Ross] Tim White calling for the bell. -[Lawler] Thanks for coming, Jack.
-See you. -[Ross] Jack Doan just got drilled.
[Lawler] Oh, not you too, Teddy. You idiot.
Oh.
[Ross] Teddy Long fell back in the corner like a rag doll.
-Jack Doan… Oh, no. -[Ross exclaiming]
-See ya. Wouldn't wanna be ya. -[Ross] Good God.
Look at the carnage here, Doan and Long down,
the referee Tim White has ended this match with a disqualification,
but the carnage continues.
Look at the double team.
Rikishi and Kane are dismantling The Rock.
[Lawler] I just got a feeling, JR,
that this could be a preview of the Royal Rumble.
[bell dinging]
-[Ross] Wait a minute. -[Lawler] What?
[Ross] Wait a minute.
-[Lawler] What's this? -[Ross] The Undertaker.
[Lawler] What's he doing? Look out.
[Ross] Undertaker with the right hand.
[Lawler] Watch it.
[Ross] The American Badass…
-[Lawler] Whoa. -[Ross] …who's in the Royal Rumble.
Hammering his brother Kane.
[Lawler] Maybe this is a preview of the Royal Rumble.
-Oh, no, you're kidding me. -[crowd cheering]
[Lawler] You can't chokeslam your own brother.
-[Ross] Oh, like hell, he can. -[crowd cheering]
[Ross] The Rock laying the SmackDown on Rikishi.
[Lawler] Rikishi checking in to the old SmackDown hotel.
[Ross] He needs a king size bed
-for that big posterior. -[Lawler] Look at The Rock.
He's measured him off. He's just waiting.
Don't… turn around Rikishi, look out!
-[Ross] Rock Bottom. The Rock Bottom. -[crowd cheering]
["Rollin" playing]
[Ross] The Undertaker coming to the aid of The People's Champion here.
[Lawler] I don't know if this taught The Rock has any respect for the referees.
[crowd cheering]
[Ross] Boy, what a Royal Rumble it's gonna be, two weeks away,
two weeks away in New Orleans.
[Lawler] That's two weeks away, JR,
but tonight the WWE title is on the line. [laughs]
[Ross] Stone Cold has waited one year for this opportunity.
Stone Cold and Kurt Angle for that gold tonight.
[Ross] We are back, ladies and gentlemen. Just moments ago,
it was The Rock, taking two referees as his partners,
Jack Doan and Teddy Long against Kane and Rikishi.
And take a look at this chokeslam of poor Jack Doan by Kane.
And then look what Rikishi did to Teddy Long.
[Lawler] Well, maybe The Rock learned some respect for the officials,
but I can assure you, Kane and Rikishi had absolutely no respect.
Oh, man.
[Ross] And thank God "The American Badass" The Undertaker,
came to the aid of "The People's Champion" The Rock.
Doesn't look like Kane and Rikishi were going to totally eliminate
The Rock from the Royal Rumble two weeks from now.
[Lawler] Yeah, but I thought for certain, Kane was gonna be eliminated
from any hopes of being in the Royal Rumble,
thanks to his brother.
I can't believe The Undertaker.
He's gonna ruin all my plans.
He's not gonna ruin anything. Look, you want to--
Daddy, didn't you see that?
I saw what he did.
You wanted The Rock to learn
-to respect authority tonight, right? -Right.
Well, how about this Thursday
if not the only The Rock learns to respect,
what if The Undertaker does as well?
What if since The Undertaker wants to stick his nose in our business,
what if this Thursday on SmackDown, we have ourselves a Fatal 4-Way Match?
Which will pit, Rikishi versus Kane versus The Undertaker versus Rock.
Now, then, we'll throw in a little something extra.
The winner of that Fatal 4-Way gets to be number 30
in the Royal Rumble match itself.
-How does that sound? -That sounds incredible.
Dad, I've said it before, but you are a genius.
["What About Me?" playing]
[Ross] And what a main event for SmackDown on UPN this Thursday night, King.
[Lawler] I've said it before, Vince is a genius.
He's a mastermind.
You gotta admit that's a great match, JR.
[Ross] It's a great main event, but you need some chapstick.
[Lawler] For what?
[Ross] That bullcrap butt-kissing you're doing.
[Lawler] Oh please, give me a break. Did you know that tonight Raw is War
is brought to you by Weider Sports Nutrition.
-[Ross] Wow. -[Lawler] Get dynamic muscle builder
packed with protein, carbs, and amino acids to nourish your muscles.
Get Weider, get results.
[Ross] And by Twix. It's all in the mix.
[Lawler] And by Burger King. Got the urge?
[bell dinging]
The following contest is scheduled for one fall
and it is for the World Wrestling Entertainment
-Hardcore Championship. -[Ross] Oh, my God.
[announcer] In the ring, weighing in at 229 pounds,
he is the Hardcore Champion, Raven.
[Ross] Well, Raven about to meet the man that many consider
the greatest hardcore competitor, Steve Blackman.
Hey, Steve Blackman,
you used to be partners
with that freakishly abnormal, schizophrenic Al Snow.
[Ross chuckles]
He was the first recipient of what is come to be known as…
The Raven Effect.
Remember when I crushed this cranium with a cinder block?
[Lawler] I do.
-[Ross] That was sick. -That was the most hilarious thing
other than the notion
that you're the greatest Hardcore Champion of all time.
-You-- -[Ross] Uh-oh.
Yeah, shut him up.
[crowd cheering]
[Ross] Al Snow, we hope you're getting better, buddy.
And we look forward to seeing you back soon.
[announcer] From Annville, Pennsylvania, weighing in at 240--
[Lawler laughs] Get out of there Lilian.
[Ross] And the Hardcore match-up underway here.
Falls count anywhere, King.
No disqualifications, no count outs.
[Lawler] Right. This'll teach Blackman not to be so rude
and interrupt Raven talking about The Raven Effect.
[Ross] Raven, head first into the trash can that he brought in the ring.
-And Blackman got that game face on. -[Lawler] And didn't I hear you say,
"Hurry back, Al Snow, we'll be waiting for you"?
[Ross] I like Al Snow.
[Lawler] You're the same guy that said he's goofier than a pet coon.
[Ross] Well, he is, but I still like him. [exclaims]
Al doesn't deserve the treatment that Raven gave him.
Al deserves a better break than that, King.
[Lawler] What more you want broken? He got his skull cracked.
-[Ross] Well… -[Lawler] Oh, my.
[Ross] Hopefully Al's back soon--
[Lawler] I hate it when Blackman gets these sticks.
[Ross] And so does Raven or anybody else in there.
[Lawler] Look out! Oh!
[Ross] You won't be seeing these martial arts weaponry…
[Lawler] Oh, no, this is the bad part.
[Ross] …when Austin challenges Kurt Angle for the WWE title here tonight.
Hey, wait a minute. Wait a minute. what is this?
It's Hardcore Holly and another referee.
You know the 24/7 rule is in effect.
-[Lawler] I know that. -[Ross] If you bring a referee with you
you can get involved in the match.
[Lawler] And here we go. He's not wasting any time.
[Ross] And all of a sudden now, it's a Triple Threat Match I guess.
[Lawler] Well, at least you got three combatants in there.
[Lawler exclaiming]
[Ross] Good grief.
[Lawler] It's the old windmill effect.
[Ross] Hardcore Holly just entered himself in this match-up
-and brought his own referee. -[Lawler] Oh, man!
What I wanna know which referee's decision's gonna count?
[Ross] I don't have a clue about that.
-[Lawler] It ain't gonna be Teddy-- -[Ross] There's the cover.
Caught in the eyes,
-Holly got pinned by Raven. -[announcer] Here's your winner
and still the World Wrestling Entertainment
Hardcore Champion, Raven.
[Ross] Raven temporarily blinded Hardcore Holly
and got a victory.
[Lawler] I don't think this is over, JR.
[Ross] Wait a minute.
-[Lawler] Maybe it is. -[Ross] Blackman wants some more of Raven
and Hardcore Holly wants some more of Blackman.
And now Hardcore Holly…
[Lawler] Oh, watch yourself, Raven.
[Ross] Chasing after Raven.
-[Lawler] He got him. -[Ross] And takes him down
right on the steel.
[Lawler] Looks like an XFL tackle.
-[Lawler exclaims] -[Ross] Oh, man, what a suplex!
-[Lawler] Wait a minute. -[referee] One, two…
[Ross] The match continuing here until Raven can…
-Raven may not survive this, King. -[Lawler] When is this match over,
-when Raven gets back to his locker room? -[Ross] I have no idea.
Maybe when he goes across the county line, I don't know.
[Lawler] I think that Hardcore belt went with Raven--
Yeah, there he goes.
[Ross] It's 24/7, 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
[Lawler] If I were you, I'd lock myself in my locker room quick--
-What did he run into? Watch that box. -[Ross] Raven.
Raven headed toward the rear of the arena here in San Jose.
-[Lawler] Into your car, there you go. -[Ross] Hey, wait a minute. There's…
-Somebody was waiting on Raven. -[Lawler] That's a smart move.
[Ross] Somebody had a car waiting on Raven, King.
And there they go.
Now, remember, don't come out until we introduce you.
Yeah, seriously, the Dudleys will never expect that you're here tonight.
This is gonna totally reek of awesomeness.
Massive.
-[Ross] What are they thinking? -[Lawler] Who is it?
[narrator] And now, a WWE Royal Rumble replay.
[Lawler screams excitedly]
[Ross] It's Kane.
And there goes Road Dogg, there goes Kurrgan.
-[Lawler] Oh, my God. -[Ross] And there goes Godfather.
Kane is cleaning the house.
-[Lawler] The man trying to beat Goldust. -[Ross] Oh, Kane with one arm,
chokeslammed Goldust out of the Rumble.
[Ross] It is a cold, rainy night in downtown New York City
in Times Square, the home of WWE New York.
Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler back here in San Jose and--
[Lawler] Oh!
Look who's live on stage at WWE New York, it's Kai En Tai.
[mouthing to taped audio] You, silly American, put down the buffalo wings.
No more potato skins.
Look at us. [laughing]
Welcome to WWE New York, where the food is exquisite,
the dining is fantastic and Kai En Tai is party hearty, baby.
[laughing]
[crowd cheering]
Indeed.
They need some decaffeinated sake, mind you.
Well, they suffer from that rare disease. It's called the dud-syndrome.
You know what? They're two WWE Superstars
and the most often question that I'm asked, JR,
is how do you get in the WWE?
How do you become a WWE Superstar?
I get that question a lot, too.
And folks, a little bit later, man or woman, we're gonna show you
exactly how you can become a WWE Superstar.
All the info later tonight.
-["Metalingus" playing] -[crowd cheering]
[Ross] I know what these two jackasses on their mind.
[Lawler] Now, please, JR.
[Ross] Well…
[Lawler] You have no respect for authority.
These guys are the WWE Tag Team Champions.
[announcer] Ladies and gentlemen, making their way to the ring,
the World Wrestling Entertainment Tag Team Champion,
Edge and Christian.
-[Lawler] JR, let me tell you something. -[Ross] All right.
[Lawler] These guys are what we call,
I know you can't relate, but these guys are hip.
You know, like, in this month's Penthouse magazine
how they say, "I'm hip."
[Ross] Yeah.
[Lawler] Well, these guys are "hip." And you need a hip replacement,
but see, you never learnt to be hip.
[Ross] Is that your real age in that story?
-[Lawler] What are you talking about? -[Ross] Guess not.
Well, listen, these guys said they got a surprise for the Dudleys.
[Lawler] Who is it? They got somebody back there.
Greetings to all of our fans in San Josie.
[Lawler] San Josie. [laughs]
[crowd booing]
As you all know,
we're scheduled to face the Dudley Boyz for our tag team titles
at the Royal Rumble.
[Ross] Two weeks away in New Orleans.
And although we faced the Dudley Boyz many times,
what do we really know about them?
Well, there's their love for tables.
[Lawler] Yeah, that's some kind of fetish.
Their horrifying body odor.
[Lawler laughs] They stink.
And the fact that they're cheered by a bunch of reekazoids
like all you people here tonight.
-[crowd booing] -[Lawler] In San Josie.
But other than that, I'd say we don't really know that much.
That is until now.
[Lawler] Uh-oh, what is this?
You see, to get a better understanding for our opponents
and beat them for unprecedented
thirty-seven thousand, four hundred fifty second and a half time
at the Royal Rumble.
-[Ross] Please. -Christian and I took a little trip.
A trip to Dudleyville.
-[Lawler] Oh, no… -[Ross] I wish they hadn't come back.
We managed to find the two people
that know Bubba and D-Von better than anyone else.
-[Lawler] Uh-oh. -So, without further ado,
please welcome Mother Faye and Levon, the Dudley parents.
[Lawler] What?
-[Ross] Mother Faye and Levon? -[Lawler] The Dud… Look out!
["We're Coming Down" playing]
The Dudleys' parents are here?
What was wrong with their fireworks, the pyro?
It didn't look right.
Hey.
[Ross] Well…
[Lawler] I knew it.
-[Ross] Mother… -[Lawler] I knew it.
[Ross] Mother Faye and Levon?
[Lawler] It's the Dudleys mom and pop.
-[Ross] Will you… -[Lawler] Straight from Dudleyville.
[Ross] Now, are you sure?
[Lawler] You don't doubt Edge and Christian, do you?
[Ross] Bingo.
[Lawler] They probably went to great expense to fly these two people.
[Ross] They probably brought them here by bus.
That's good enough for them.
[Lawler] They dress like the Dudleys, they look like them, same glasses.
Dudley parents. [chuckles]
This about explains everything, doesn't it?
And I understand you brought some baby pictures?
-[Lawler] Oh, boy. -Well, Gods of the Titantron,
let's take a look.
[Lawler] Baby pictures of… [cackles]
[Christian] Yeah, baby D-Von.
Barely out of the womb
and he's already got that big gap between his teeth.
He's about the ugliest baby I'd ever seen, wouldn't you say?
Testify.
[Lawler] Oh, yeah. That's Levon, all right.
[Edge] That was brutal.
And speaking of brutal,
I heard there's a picture of our freshly spat out
baby Bubba Ray.
Let's take a look at that picture.
-[Lawler] Just spat out? -[crowd cheering]
[Lawler] Wassup?
[laughing] That's him.
-[Ross] Stop. -[Edge] Mother Faye,
I feel so sorry for your uterus.
Wassup?
[Lawler] See that?
-That's them, JR. -But Dudley parents, seriously,
doesn't it bother you to know that your ugly Dudley sons,
are totally gonna get their
Dudley asses handed to them at the Royal Rumble
by Christian and Edge?
[Lawler] Who's gonna answer?
-[fireworks whistling] -[Ross] What difference--
-[explosions] -[crowd cheering]
[Ross] Hey, that's the real stuff.
And here comes the real Dudleys.
-[Lawler] Hey. -[Ross] Bubba Ray and D-Von.
[Lawler] Show some respect for your parents.
[Ross] That's not their parents.
No more than it is your parents or my parents.
[Lawler] These are authority figures.
[Ross] Look at Edge and Christian running like scalded dogs.
[Lawler] Wait a minute. This is the ultimate in… Look out!
[crowd cheering]
-[Ross] The 3D on that-- -[Lawler] On daddy!
-[Ross] On that impostor. -[Lawler] On daddy Dudley.
[Ross] Oh, no, wait a minute.
[Lawler] Not your own mother.
Don't you recognize her?
[Ross] I don't know who she is, but she's plus size.
[Lawler] What is Bubba Ray--
Look at that look in his eyes.
[Ross and Lawler exclaim]
[Lawler] Don't tell me…
Your mom! Oh, my gosh!
-[Ross] Oh, no. You got to be kidding me! -[Lawler] Wait a minute.
[Lawler] What's D-Von gonna do?
[crowd cheering]
[Lawler] He's trying to go back where he cam from.
[Ross] D-Von don't do it.
[Lawler] No, don't do it.
You're not… [screams]
[crowd cheering]
[Lawler] I can't believe what I've seen here, JR.
[Ross] Uh-oh. Now, these are not the Dudleys' parents,
any more than their ours, King.
-You gotta be-- -[Lawler] Get the table.
The table's right there. No, you're not.
[Ross] That elderly lady…
This doesn't look good for…
[Lawler] Don't tell me.
[Ross] For the AARP.
[Lawler] Don't tell me they're gonna… Not their own mom.
-[crowd cheering] -[Lawler] This is parent abuse.
[Ross] She is 200 pounds if she's a damned ounce.
-Oh, God! -[crowd cheering]
-[Lawler] He got one on his own mother. -["We're Coming Down" playing]
[Lawler] This is awful!
-[Ross] I can't believe this. -[Lawler] I can't either.
[Ross] Edge and Christian,
trying to humiliate and embarrass the Dudleys,
but I think it backfired.
And the Dudleys are gonna be on their way to New Orleans.
[Lawler] I can't believe they did this to their own mother.
Boy, how sick is this, JR?
[Ross] My mom was old.
-[Lawler] Those damn Dudleys. -[Ross] Those damn Dudleys
have done it to those impostors.
[Lawler] What do you mean?
-I'm gonna check their ID. -[Ross] Go ahead.
-Don't look in that lady's pockets. -[Lawler] Uh-oh.
Edge and Christian versus the Dudleys at the Royal Rumble
-for the tag team championship? -Mm-hmm.
That's a match I can't wait to see.
Steph do me a favor, will you? Ugh.
This coffee is really old, how about you give me some fresh
and maybe just a little bit of milk this time,
along with a sweetener.
I'll be fine right here by myself. I'll be just fine.
I'll be here when you get back, okay? Atta, girl.
You okay dad?
I'm great.
So, far it's gonna be, you know, real good night.
-[Stephanie] Okay. -Okay? Thanks, Steph.
[Ross] What's going on?
What's he doing?
[Lawler] What?
Where we're at today, we're at CES show.
It's the keynote address opening the Consumer Electronics Show.
Why is The Rock talking on the down-low, keeping everything on the low-low?
Because it's a surprise that The Rock is here.
Bill Gates is launching his new console. His new videogame console titled the Xbox.
Today, for the first time, we're unveiling the Xbox.
Xbox is our next generation video game console
that's gonna produce games like people have never seen before
and it'll take the WWE and The Rock and make them look absolutely awesome.
[The Rock] If you smell what The Rock is cooking.
And considering that this Xbox
at this moment is only running on one-fifth of the systems power,
it's very impressive.
Bill, do you have any idea
what The Rock would be like if he were only running
on one-fifth of his power?
Well, I would think that…
It doesn't matter what you think, Bill.
[man] Bill Gates and The Rock were a total natural. They were awesome.
Rock was perfect.
Finally, Bill Gates hooked up with The Rock.
Smelled what The Rock is cooking.
[Ross] Big time opportunity for The Rock, and what a situation just moments ago.
The phony Dudley parents.
[Lawler] What do you mean phony Dudley parents?
[Ross] Oh, come on.
[Lawler] I mean, D-Von's father was trying to show him discipline there
and then look at D-Von and Bubba Ray
well, they 3D their own farther?
Look at the look on the mother Dudley face,
she is a dead ringer for Bubba Ray.
-[Ross] Oh, give me a break. -[Lawler] Look what he does to his mother.
[Ross] It's two ringers that Edge and Christian recruited
to embarrass and humiliate Bubba and D-Von who they… Oh.
Uh, what…What's keeping you so long?
What… Steph?
Hi.
What do you mean keeping me so long?
I had to brew a fresh pot of coffee.
-Um… -[toilet flushes]
Trish, hi. Hi.
She just came by and use the facilities.
Yes, I just have to pop in. Thank you.
Popped in. Hmm.
This is not what you think, okay?
I mean, this is not anywhere near what you think. All right?
Well, if it's not what I think then…
-Good coffee. -Yeah, I made it myself, thanks.
You won't mind if I put Trish in competition tonight?
-[crowd cheering] -In competition?
Yes. So, I think, since Trish has been so chummy with Albert,
she'd make a great tag team partner in a handicap match against Test.
Um… I mean, if you… I don't have a problem with it.
-No? -It will be fine.
I think it'd be fine.
Yeah, Trish, you'll be fine.
Besides, I hear that you're used to two-on-ones.
-Ugh! -[crowd cheering]
[Ross] Wow. Well, ladies and gentlemen, earlier tonight
we asked our fans in WWE New York,
the predictions of the Austin-Angle WWE title match tonight.
I think Stone Cold's got this one in the bag.
He's gonna go out there, he's gonna drink some beers,
I'm joining him in the corner
have a couple of hotdogs, go kick Kurt Angle's ass.
I think "Stone Cold" Steve Austin's gonna win
because he's the baddest S.O.B. in the WWE.
Uh, Kurt Angle, because the guy is an Olympic champion
and even though Austin's as tough as he is,
a guy like Angle's always got something up his sleeve, you know?
I think Stone Cold is gonna win because it's about time
somebody put Kurt Angle in his place.
If anybody can do it, it's the Rattlesnake.
I think that Kurt Angle's gonna will win tonight,
because I think Vince McMahon has something up his sleeve.
I think Stone Cold's gonna win it because he's a lot stronger.
He's a lot tougher. He's been through a lot
and nobody deserves it like he does that's all I got so say about that.
I have a feeling Kurt Angle's gonna win
because he always cheats every time, you know,
somebody always interferes and somehow it will work out,
and Stone Cold will get screwed.
[crowd cheering]
[Ross] And well, Mr. McMahon… Where's Mr. McMahon going?
[Lawler] Who's he looking for?
[Ross] What's going on here?
[Butkus] I remember the way The Game used to be played.
Hard hitting and passionate, we enjoyed knocking guys on their ass.
[commentator] Sacked by number 51.
Dick Butkus.
It was an attitude and I loved every moment.
Attitude and intimidation.
That's my brand of football.
[narrator] The XFL coming this February.
The menacing presence of Dick Butkus.
He'll be all over the XFL, King.
We're happy to announce that so you and I,
we'll be part of the XFL broadcast team
beginning next month on many of the NBC broadcasts.
And I can assure you we're gonna broadcast football
like you've never seen it done before in your life.
Football with attitude, I love Dick Butkus.
Little Sooner magic King.
And ,also folks, I mentioned to you earlier
that we're asked all the time, "How do you become a WWE Superstar?"
Well, we'd like to encourage you we're taking applications right now.
From males and females
for an interesting concept called Tough Enough.
Just go to WWE.com and get all the information at WWE.com.
And believe it or not, you sitting right at home right now
could be joining us
and be a part of the WWE as the next WWE Superstars.
I'm telling you the truth, you have the opportunity.
Just check out WWE.com and best of luck to you.
-["Emergency" playing] -[crowd cheering]
-[Lawler] Oh, baby! Speaking of luck. -[bell dings]
[announcer] The following handicap match is scheduled for one fall.
Introducing first the team of Trish Stratus and Albert.
[Lawler] Look at Trish, her luck is gone sour tonight.
[Ross] Well, thanks to Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley,
Trish is gonna compete her tonight.
Don't forget, folks, tomorrow night, we're gonna be in Oakland.
And this Saturday night Stone Cold's gonna be in Detroit,
but will he have the WWE title with him?
And of course The King is gonna be in Madison, Wisconsin,
along with The Undertaker this Sunday night.
["This Is a Test" playing]
[announcer] Their opponent weighing in at 282 pounds…
-[Lawler] Oh, boy. -[announcer] …Test.
[Lawler] Look at the look on the face of Test.
[Ross] Test and Albert at one time were partners.
Managed by Trish.
We have seen the last couple of weeks the parting of the way.
-[bell ringing] -[Ross] And Trish will be
Albert's, well, his partner.
What do you think Stephanie meant
when she said, Trish was used to two-on-ones?
[Lawler] I don't know but I'd sure would like to find out.
-[Ross] Are you good at math? -[Lawler] Oh, man.
[Ross] This Albert as a horse and so is Test.
Albert 6'8"--
[Lawler] Hey look, look.
[Ross] About 350 and there's a lot of power on display.
-We are… -[Lawler] Stephanie is loving this.
-Did you see the look and… -[Ross] There's a cover!
…smile on Stephanie's face?
-[Ross] Sure. Stephanie and Trish… -One, two, three!
[Ross] …they're not gonna maybe ever get along.
-Oh, what a shot. -[Lawler] Man, what a shot.
Uh-oh.
I think that just made Test mad.
Trish! Look out.
[Ross] Boom! And Albert engulfing Test in the corner there
when Test had his focus on Trish.
Stone Cold and Kurt Angle, WWE title, it is tonight,
and were counting the minutes.
Oh, what a DDT!
[Lawler] Oh, right on poor Albert's head.
You know, I keep waiting every week, I expect the people from the Guinness Book
to show up and measure Albert's head.
[Ross] Eight and three-eights.
[Lawler] And maybe Trish's chest.
That's a record. Oh. Look out.
[Ross] Right hands by Test.
And Albert reverses, both these men are…
[Lawler] Man!
[Ross] …outstanding young prospects here.
[Lawler] Wait a minute. Is Trish gonna actualy have to tag in this match?
She's trying to get in there now.
[Ross] Referee Tim White restraining Trish.
I bet you or him.
[Lawler] What?
-No, she didn't have to tag in! -[Ross] Wow.
[Lawler] It's fair. She's fair game right now.
-[Ross] It's a handicap match-up-- -[Lawler] She's Albert's partner.
[Ross] And Trish, this is…
-Even though Trish-- -[Lawler] Oh, baby. Wait a minute.
-[Ross] Oh, my. -[Lawler] She's used to that move.
-What the heck? -[Ross] What a shot,
-knocking down Albert. -[Lawler] Hey, hey, hey.
Wait a minute.
What are you gonna do?
-[Ross] Wait, there's William Regal-- -[Lawler] What's he doing?
[Ross] Regal needn't be here after what Austin did to Regal.
Look at Regal's eyes and face.
[Lawler] This guy's in terrible shape. What's he doing out here?
He should be in the hospital.
[Ross] And Regal… Regal, seemingly helping Trish.
-[Lawler] Hey, wait a minute. -[crowd cheering]
[Lawler] Wait a minute. Oh, wow.
[Ross] King, what's going on here?
How did Regal get out here so timely?
-And there's the Albert Bomb. -…two, three.
-[Lawler] Wow! -[bell dinging]
[Ross] Oh, something smells with this--
-[announcer] Here are your winners… -[Ross] Of this situation here.
…Trish Stratus and Albert.
[Ross] Awfully convenient for William Regal,
who got battered in the face with a pipe by Stone Cold
last Thursday night on UPN SmackDown,
just to show up just in the nick of time.
-[Lawler] Well, he's a good-- -You went to Regal.
You had Regal interfere in that match.
I did no such of a thing, no.
No wonder you didn't have a problem with Trish competing.
-[grunts] -Regal's always been a gentlemen.
Steph?
-[crowd cheering] -[Ross] Hey, Regal with a roll up.
[Ross] That's a fast count. Stephanie fast counted Austin.
Does Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley truly realize what she has done?
[Cole] "Stone Cold" Steve Austin outside the Freeman Coliseum.
[Lawler] Stephanie arrives.
May God have mercy on her soul.
[Austin] Get out there Steph, I know you're in there.
Get out there.
[Stephanie] Steve.
[Austin] Your ass is mine now.
[Lawler] Get security, get the police.
[Cole] Austin's stalking Stephanie, King.
Stephanie is frantic.
[Austin] Tonight, you will learn
to listen to "Stone Cold" Steve Austin.
[Cole] It's Stephanie's father, Mr. McMahon.
[Lawler] No, it's a knight in shining armor.
[McMahon] You've become a certifiable rat raving lunatic.
Just because my daughter, Stephanie got a little carried away,
because of that you want to do bodily harm
to daddy's little girl?
Like, hell you will, Austin. You won't harm a hair on her head.
And I'll tell you why.
Because there will be a Triple Threat Match.
You, Kane, and Undertaker will in fact compete.
If you're victorious tonight, live on Raw,
it's Austin for WWE Championship and the match you want.
I will compete here tonight.
But you know what, Vince?
You didn't say a damn thing about daddy.
-[Lawler] Wait. -[Cole] Look out, stunner!
-Austin stunnered Mr. McMahon. -[Lawler] I can't believe this.
[McMahon] You know, I've decided that Triple Threat Match
needs a very special troubleshooting referee on the outside,
me.
[Cole] King, all hell is gonna break loose here tonight,
Undertaker, Kane, Stone Cold in a Triple Threat Match
with a special troubleshooting referee,
Mr. McMahon at ringside.
-Oh, look out Rikishi… -[Lawler exclaims]
[Cole] Undertaker has already chokeslammed Austin and Kane.
-[Lawler] He's got Rikishi. -[Cole] Now Rikishi for good measure.
Wait a minute, Austin…
-[Lawler] Stunner. -[Cole] Stunner to The Undertaker.
Here's the cover.
-McMahon making the count. -[Lawler] What?
[Cole] I can't believe it.
[Lawler] You got to admit Mr. McMahon did the right thing.
He counted out The Undertaker, Stone Cold's the winner.
[Cole] Stone Cold gets Kurt Angle, the title on the line live on Raw.
Well, King, it was just about a year ago when I was in San Antonio, Texas,
and Austin's recovering from a spinal surgery.
He had on his mind then,
"I want the WWE title if I can walk back in the ring."
I realized that. And he's got it tonight.
He's got a shot at it at least thanks to Mr. McMahon.
And look at the way the Rattlesnake treated Mr. McMahon.
He stunned the poor Mr. McMahon. I mean, that was ridiculous.
Well, the story is about Kurt Angle. This ain't gonna be easy, is it?
No, it's not. But Kurt Angle, if you ask me
is without a doubt, the greatest WWE Champion ever.
[man] Kurt Angle has done more in 11 months here in the WWE
than anyone in WWE history.
[Angle] And I captured my first gold by winning the European Championship.
I captured the Intercontinental Championship.
I not only captured gold, but royalty as well,
when I was crowned the 2000 King of the Ring.
I topped the most amazing 12 months
and became the World Wrestling Entertainment Champion.
[Ross] Thanks to Rikishi, Kurt Angle is the WWE champion.
[Lawler] This is a thing of beauty. A picture of a moment
that will go down in history.
[Ross] Good God Almighty, Angle!
-[Lawler exclaims] -[Ross] Has got drilled The Last Ride.
That's gonna be it. We got a new champion.
-[crowd cheering] -[Ross] Wait a minute.
Referee didn't count to three.
-[Lawler] Hebner is double crossing-- -[Ross] Wait a minute.
-There's Kurt Angle. -[Lawler] What?
[Ross] He's got the tights.
-He's got the tights. -[bell ringing]
[Lawler] What in the world?
[Ross] Then who the hell is on the ring?
[Lawler] I mean, you got to admit that was a huge win for Kurt Angle.
[Ross] The Rock brought down with the stunner.
And Kurt Angle took advantage of the Stone Cold stunner
to pin The Rock and retain the WWE title.
Kurt Angle is gonna walk out of Armageddon a bloody mess.
[Angle] Your an Olympic hero defying all odds
to remain the WWE champion.
[crowd cheering]
[Ross] The obsession of the Rattlesnake as he looks up,
what we have all just seen.
Stone Cold headed our way.
It's been a year since Stone Cold had a true opportunity
one-on-one here live on Raw.
There's the Champion, what a match-up, what an atmosphere.
It is next.
["Medal" playing]
[Ross] And we are back, live here on Raw.
There's the WWE Champion Kurt Angle
about to put it all on the line against the Texas Rattlesnake.
["Medal" continues playing]
[bell dinging]
[announcer] The following contest is scheduled for one fall
and it is for the World Wrestling Entertainment Championship.
In the ring from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, weighing in at 227 pounds,
he is the World Wrestling Entertainment Champion,
Kurt Angle.
[Ross] Yes indeed, Kurt Angle's had a marvelous year,
but it could come to an end here.
Where Stone Cold challenging for the WWE title.
[Lawler] Check out the look on Kurt Angle's face.
-He's a determined man. -[Ross] He's ready.
[Lawler] 1-800-collect presents the WWE Royal Rumble.
1-800-collect, the easy way to save.
And the Royal Rumble will be live in just two weeks, Sunday, January 21st,
from the New Orleans Arena in New Orleans, Louisiana.
-[Ross] Great seats still available-- -["Glass Shatters" playing]
And here we go.
[announcer] And his challenger from Victoria, Texas,
weighing in at 252 pounds
"Stone Cold" Steve Austin.
[Ross] The eyes will tell the story.
We have no more commercial breaks.
We're gonna stay here for the duration.
The WWE title about to be decided.
Oh my, God, folks, I wish you were here with us live.
[Lawler] Look at Stone Cold,
he's just what Mr. McMahon said, a rat raving lunatic.
He's a maniac.
[Ross] Kurt Angle tried to retrieve his belt.
But that can't be his focus now.
His focus is surviving and defeating a driven, obsessed Texas Rattlesnake.
[crowd cheering]
[Lawler] Come on referee, disqualify him.
[exclaims]
[Ross] Angle a magnificent wrestler, an Olympic gold medal winner.
But Austin is rattlesnake tough.
The toughest S.O.B. in the WWE.
[Lawler] I'm afraid you can throw all the Olympic wrestling out the window
when you're in there with "Stone Cold" Steve Austin.
He's a rat raving maniac, a lunatic.
[Ross] But if Angle tries to fistfight Austin,
Angle sure enough gonna lose the WWE title.
Angle's gotta wrestle Austin somehow, someway.
[Lawler] In the meantime, it's all right for the Rattlesnake
to throw all of these fists.
Oh my, gosh. Look out!
[Ross] Angle reverses Austin
who was trying a superplex off the top rope.
[Lawler] That's one of those three I's, JR, that's intelligence.
That's knowing how to counter a big move from Austin.
[Ross] Austin may dance with his right hand
until he gets the opportunity for the Stone Cold Stunner.
That is if that opportunity ever presents itself.
[crowd chatter]
-[Lawler] Look out. Uh-oh. -[Ross] Oh, no.
Oh, no!
The great Lou Thesz press.
[Lawler] Listen to these people.
They just can't wait
for the Rattlesnake to be the WWE Champion again,
nor can he. Look out!
[Ross] Austin dropping that hammer on Angle.
There's a cover it could be…
-[Lawler exclaiming] -[Ross] Angle got his left shoulder up.
Austin back for the pressure.
Another lateral press and another near fall.
[Lawler] I'm gonna tell you something, JR…
-Look out! -[Ross] Gutwrench into the suplex.
[Ross] And the cover by Austin,
and Angle kicking out, Austin taking the suplex…
Suplexes right to Angle. Which is Angle's game.
[Lawler] Not another one. Yes. Oh, man.
[Ross] I've never seen Austin use the spinning suplexes to float over,
-the cover and a near fall. -[Lawler] What's he trying to do?
Is he trying to mpress Angle or win the WWE title?
[Ross] Oh, he's trying to win the WWE title.
[Lawler] Not another one, please.
Oh, look at this!
-[Ross] Angle slid over. -[Lawler] Look out!
[Ross] Side Russian leg sweep, nice move by Kurt Angle,
the WWE Champion with the gold on the line,
the richest gold in this business at stake here live tonight.
[Lawler] Let me tell you something. The Rattlesnake may be taking…
He may be taking Kurt Angle for granted here.
-[Ross] Are you kidding me? -[Lawler] A big mistake.
[Ross] Austin takes nobody for granted and he doesn't trust anybody.
I can tell you that.
[Lawler] This reminds me of that big game you were on the sidelines of
Oklahoma and Florida State,
everybody thought that Florida State was gonna walk all over Oklahoma.
They underestimated them
just like everybody thinks Stone Cold is gonna walk over Kurt Angle.
[Ross] Austin fighting back with those Texas sized right hands,
but it's Angle with a knee to the solar plexus.
[Lawler] Look out, Kurt.
[Ross] Austin can't connect with a clothesline.
[Lawler] Whoa. Counter--
[Ross] High crossbody. High crossbody
and Austin barely able to kick-out.
-[Lawler] Look at this. -[Ross] It's a cradle.
-[Lawler] He got him. Oh, my gosh. -[Ross] It's a cradle.
And another near fall, Angle an amazing, amazing technical wrestler. Uh-oh.
Now Austin.
[Lawler] I worry about this official in there, it's Hebner.
It's Earl Hebner.
[Ross] He's a senior official in the WWE assigned in this contest.
-[Lawler] Be careful here, JR. -[Ross] Look out.
-[Lawler] Time to go. -[Ross] Now look out. Oh.
Come on! Don't get disqualified.
[crowd chatter]
[Ross] Austin fighting on the outside.
[Lawler] Here's more lack of respect
for authority Mr. McMahon was talking about earlier.
[Ross] My God, Angle was almost beheaded,
with a clothesline over to the concrete.
[Lawler] This referee, Earl Hebner
certainly giving a lot of leeway with the WWE title on the line here.
[Ross] Austin is gotta be careful.
There's no disqualified or counted out.
Austin cannot win the title by a count out or disqualification.
He's got to pin, or make Angle submit.
[Lawler] You don't think that referee is intimidated by the Rattlesnake, do you?
You don't think he's afraid to disqualify the Rattlesnake, do you?
-[Lawler] Look at this! -[Ross] Hey, wait!
[Lawler] What the heck?
[Ross] William Regal with a pipe.
[Lawler] Austin got Regal Thursday night with a pipe.
[Lawler] Oh, no.
[Ross and Lawler exclaim]
[Lawler] Look out.
[Ross] Regal tried to assult Austin with that pipe.
[crowd chatter]
-[Ross] Look out. -[Lawler] My gosh.
[Ross] Oh, God Almighty right between the eyes.
[Lawler] Poor William Regal he came out here
for a little payback and look what happened to him.
[Ross] Well, it's not the time for payback.
[Lawler] More steel back to the head of William Regal.
Look out, here comes Kurt.
[crowd cheering]
[Ross] Angle landed on the floor.
across the rail, onto the concrete floor again.
[Lawler] Oh, my gosh.
[Ross] What is Austin doing for God's sake?
[Lawler] I don't know, look out.
[Ross] Angle almost beheaded, this son of a… is out of control.
[Lawler] Do we have a referee? Where's the official?
I can't believe what we're seeing here.
[Ross] This is totally out of control.
William Regal tried to get to Austin, but Austin beat regal to the punch.
[Lawler] Where's… There's Hebner, do something.
This is for the WWE title.
He's letting everything go. Oh, my God!
[Ross] Austin's gotta get this match back in the ring to take care of business.
[Lawler] Don't you realize Kurt Angle is not a brawler, JR?
He's used to pure, real wrestling.
He's an Olympic gold medalist.
[Ross] I know all about his background, I know all about Angle's three I's.
[Lawler] Yeah, he's not from a bar, he's not a beer-swilling brawler
like the Rattlesnake.
[Ross] Angle is out, here we go, Austin's got the leg hooked.
[Lawler] Look out.
[Ross] My, how did Angle get that shoulder up?
[Lawler] Integrity, JR, integrity.
-[Ross] And the cover, King. -[Lawler] Kick-out.
[Ross] And again Angle.
[Lawler] That was intensity that time.
[Ross] And Austin in a mount position
going back with what brought him to the dance
and it's those right hands.
-[crowd counting] -[Lawler] Please.
[Ross] Angle's gonna have knuckle bumps
-all over his head. -[Lawler] I'm begging the referee
to do something about those cold fists.
He's knocked out.
[Ross] The cover, two, three, no!
Two and a half.
[Lawler] Two or three quarters.
[Ross] God how close was that? Austin building the momentum.
[Lawler] He's also building up frustration,
no telling what he'll do if he snaps.
Look at Angle, he's up. Oh! What? Look at this. Man! .
[Ross] Oh, what a suplex!
Angle countered Austin
with a hellacious belly-to-belly overhead suplex.
[Lawler] You got that right, that was a beautiful move, JR.
Come on, give Kurt Angle some credit.
-[Ross] I just did for God's sake! -[Lawler] That was beautiful.
[Ross] What do you need me to do, have a parade for him?
[Lawler] Yeah, that would be good.
[crowd chanting]
[Ross] Angle down.
Austin's got to get to back up, count outs or disqualifications
don't get the Stone Cold to the pay window.
Uh-oh.
[Lawler] Oh, yeah, now look at the referee getting on Kurt Angle.
[Ross] Angle with the rake to the eyes.
Reversal now by Austin.
Uh-oh,
[Lawler] Now another one, wow.
[Ross] Austin looking for the stunner,
but Angle countered with another belly-to-belly overhead suplex.
[Lawler] How many times has Austin been suplexed in this match?
Give me a calculator.
[Ross] There's nobody in business
that could suplex as effectively more ways than Kurt Angle.
[Lawler] Oh, you got that right.
[Ross] Oh! Angle dropping the elbows
right on the solar plexus of "Stone Cold" Steve Austin,
the challenger for the WWE title.
What a night it has been here in San Jose!
[Lawler] Now look at the referee,
he's gonna warn, he's gonna shove Kurt Angle around,
all he did was have his foot on Austin's chest.
[Ross] Austin trying to fight back up and does.
And Angle yet another suplex.
[Lawler] Count them, JR, how many is that 25, 30?
[Ross] Angle with another suplex. And the WWE Champion in control here.
Kurt Angle in the driver seat and my God another suplex.
Austin has never been suplexed this much in his life.
[Lawler] You know what it proves? This proves
that a good technical wrestler will always beat a brawler, JR. Always.
[Ross] Well this match is not over from where I sit.
-I haven't the heard the bell sound. -[Lawler] It's almost over now.
[Ross] Another suplex.
-Angle pulls over. hooks the-- -[Lawler] It's over.
[Ross] And Austin kicked out.
-[Lawler] Hebner, what's wrong with you? -[Ross] Austin kicked out.
[Lawler] Does that referee know what's after two?
Is this another suplex?
[Ross] Angle again with another suplex.
Dropping Austin right back on the back of his head.
[Lawler] And the 23rd suplex in this match.
Unbelievable.
Austin's neck has just about had it, JR.
[Ross] Austin tried to roll over to his stomach…
-[Lawler] He's finished. -[Ross] …and stay off his back here.
That's done instinctively, and Angle picks Austin back up.
[Lawler] Not another one, not another--
[Ross] Good God Almighty, another suplex.
[Lawler] That's it.
[Ross] Austin being drilled here by the champion.
The leg is hooked it's got to be--
No it's not! It's not over, it's not over.
[Lawler] How does Austin do that? Why won't he give just up?
You should just give up, dammit.
[Ross] Austin almost broken in half, damn near broken in half,
a gutwrench, into another suplex.
[Lawler] It's everything in the arsenal there.
[Ross] Angle right now is owning the Rattlesnake.
He has skinned the…
And Austin comes back with the thumb to the eye. Uh-oh.
[Lawler] You know Austin started this suplex
-he suplexed Kurt Angle. -[Ross] Here we go!
-Here we go! -[Lawler] What? Kick-out.
[Ross] Austin covered by Angle.
But Austin barely kicked out again.
[Lawler] What is with Austin that makes him go like this?
-[Ross] It's his heart. -[Lawler] Another one.
[Ross] A gutwrench again.
I have never seen Angle any more aggressive,
I have never seen Austin take any more punishment…
[Lawler] Look at Kurt, he's saying, "Why don't you just give up?"
I think you proved your point, Kurt.
You are truly the WWE Champion, probably the greatest of a .ll time.
[Ross] Fatigued and exhausted, he's trying again here.
Austin fighting back.
With the knees right to the solar plexus
and a big thigh given by Austin to put down the champion.
[Lawler] I can't believe it. Kurt was ready to go for the Olympic Slam.
Somehow…
Somehow Austin reached way down, and blocked it.
-Kurt! -[Ross] Austin bought himself some time…
-with that big knee lift. -[Lawler] Get up, Kurt.
[Ross] And Austin knows it's here. it's now, he's got to do it here and now.
The road back to the title is here.
[Lawler] You're right,
Austin had to do it. He had to pin Kurt Angle.
Kurt, you just got to avoid being pinned.
[Ross] Austin with the kicks, Angle with the right hands.
-My God the punishment… -[Lawler] Look at this.
-[Ross] …they're inflicting on each other. -[Lawler] Here you go.
[Ross] Angle won't give up on Austin.
And the Texas Rattlesnake.
The Texas Rattlesnake is fighting his ass off.
[Lawler] Oh, the can of…
The infamous can of whoop-ass has been opened, JR.
[Ross] But the momentum has turned here.
Austin now the aggressor.
Austin with the WWE title in his sights.
[Lawler] Look at this, this is what it's about, JR, the WWE Championship.
It shows you what two men…
What any two men would do to be the WWE Champion.
[Ross] Austin stomping the life out of the WWE Champion.
[Lawler] Oh my, gosh, oh.
[Ross] Spinebuster.
-[Lawler] What? -[Ross] Spinebuster.
And now Austin, what's he doing here now?
[Lawler] He's pulling out all the stops…
[Ross] Austin's gonna finish off…
-[Lawler] He's throwing the kitchen sink. -[Ross] Austin dropped the hammer,
the point of the elbow, right in the heart of the WWE Champion.
-[Lawler] Oh, my God! -[Ross] Now Austin is ready
for Angle to stand up.
[Lawler] He's waiting for him. He's measuring him off.
[Ross] It could be Stone Cold Stunner time!
[Lawler] Be careful, Kurt, he's gonna stun you.
[Ross] Angle's out of it.
[Lawler] Now, look!
[Ross] Angle blocks Austin.
-[Lawler] No. -[Ross] Austin counters Angle.
[Lawler] No!
-[Ross] Angle countered Austin. -[Lawler] No.
[Ross] He got it. It's over.
A stunnere! It's over!
-[Lawler] Hey, look. -[Ross] Hey, wait a minute.
-[Lawler] Look at this. -[Ross] Wait a minute.
That's Triple H.
[Lawler] What the hell?
Hey, Triple H!
Where did he come from?
[Ross] That son of a bitch, Austin had the match won.
[Lawler] Look at Austin, he can't believe his eyes, yes.
Yes, Rattlesnake, it's Triple H.
-[Ross] Austin had the title won. -[Lawler exclaims]
[Ross] And there goes the referee, Triple H assaulted the refere,
but Austin had the title won.
Austin had the stunner.
[Lawler] Where did Triple H come from?
[Ross] Damn Triple H, damn his soul.
[Lawler] Now what, JR? The referee's down.
He's out thanks to Triple H.
[Ross] There's no referee.
[Lawler] But Kurt Angle… Uh-oh.
[Ross] Austin had the WWE title won here.
[Lawler] What is he… Look out.
[Ross] This is not right.
And now Austin telling The Game to get his ass in the ring.
[Lawler] What?
-[Ross] Austin wants Helmsley. -[Lawler] What?
[Ross] The Game has screwed Stone Cold out of the WWE, by God, title.
[Lawler] I'm gonna tell you one thing, Rattlesnake,
you're inviting the wrong man into that ring now.
[Ross] Well maybe he is and maybe he's not,
by God, let's get it on here.
[Lawler] I'll tell you one thing, he's getting ready.
Triple H may have screwed Stone Cold out of the title,
but he'll also beat his ass if he's not careful.
[Ross] Well, let's get it on here.
You cost Austin the title, you bastard.
[crowd cheering]
[Ross] Come on, Triple H, get in and fight him.
You screwed him out of the title.
[Lawler] Don't worry, he's gonna get in there, all right.
[Ross] Well, there ain't no anchor tied to his ass.
Get in there and fight him, Game.
-[Lawler] Yeah. -[Ross] That's what you want.
[Lawler] Look the smile on Austin's face.
You're the man that almost ended Triple H's career.
Turnabout's fair play, and now, Triple H is gonna come in there
and whip your brains out.
[Ross] Triple H had Austin run over like a dog,
last November, a year ago.
[crowd cheering]
[Lawler] Oh, my God!
-Look at this. -[Ross] You can feel it.
-[Lawler] Look at Triple H. -[Ross] You can see it.
-[Lawler] He's about to explode. -[Ross] You can taste it.
[crowd cheering]
[Ross] Oh, my God, there they go.
Rights and lefts, no referee.
Austin just screwed out of the title.
The guy is whipping The Game's ass.
[Lawler] Look at his hatred spewing out, JR.
[crowd cheering]
[Lawler] From both men. Oh, my God!
[Ross] Austin kicking The Game's ass, right out of the ring.
[Lawler] Look out.
[crowd cheering]
[Ross] They're beating the hell, out of each other.
[Lawler] Oh, my God, JR, I lost my headset.
Look out he's got steel pipe.
[Ross] The Game hit Austin right across the head with a steel pipe.
The son of a bitch hit him in the head with a steel pipe.
[Lawler] I saw it. I saw it.
[Ross] What the hell is this?
Austin got hit right between the eyes with that lead pipe.
For God's sakes.
[Lawler] Oh my, gosh, look at…
-[Ross] Austin's busted open. He's hurt. -[Lawler] He's busted.
[Ross] Austin is… He's bleeding like an animal.
[crowd cheering]
[Ross] Oh, God Almighty!
Austin hit in the face twice, three times with that pipe.
For the love of God, somebody stop this.
The Game has busted Austin open.
The Game has cost Austin the WWE title.
[crowd cheering]
[Ross] Damn you, Helmsley.
-Damn you. -["The Game" playing]
[Ross] Austin is…
Damn you all to hell, Triple H.
You son of a bitch.
Austin just got cost his dream.
Austin's dream is over.