[intro music playing]
["Thorn In Your Eye" playing]
♪ It's my life in a box And charred to beat! ♪
♪ Taking chalk in my arms It's the soul of me! ♪
♪ You want fire Ashes see me laying face down ♪
♪ What has caught the thorn in your eye? ♪
-[audience cheering] -[heavy metal music playing]
[Jim Ross] The Allstate Arena in Chicago, Illinois, is sold out.
The fans in this arena, it's extraordinary.
And we have all the ingredients here tonight for a classic WWE Raw.
Hi, everybody. I'm Jim Ross. Alongside Jerry "The King" Lawler.
And King, it feels like SummerSlam is here 13 days early.
The electricity is unbelievable in this building, JR.
Do you smell what the rock is cooking?
["Know Your Role" playing]
Oh, here comes The Rock.
And man, I'll tell you, last night on Heat,
The Rock was assaulted by The Big Show and The Undertaker.
And we all know The Rock is on his way to SummerSlam.
Depends on badass Billy Don one-on-one.
But last night, King, The Rock found himself in a huge,
and I mean a huge war with Big Show and The Undertaker.
[Lawler] I'm surprised. I'm amazed to see The Rock even walking out here.
I thought he'd be in some emergency room, in traction somewhere,
after what I saw The Undertaker
and The Big Show do to The Rock last night on Heat. Look at that!
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a minute, big man.
Let's see what he has to say. Let's let him entertain us.
We'll get him, don't worry.
[Ross] The Undertaker and The Big Show looking on.
I think I heard the Undertaker say, "Let's hear what he has to say,"
but no doubt those twin towers of destruction.
We're going to be listening to every word The Rock has to say.
[Lawler] But what will they do after they're through listening?
That's the question.
[Ross] What a night this is going to be.
The WWE Champion Stone Cold Steve Austin is scheduled to be here.
Oh, Jesse "The Body" Ventura is here.
♪ The Rock says ♪
[music stops]
Rock's got 13 days to get ready for Billy Gunn at SummerSlam.
But I'm not…
Finally, The Rock has come back to Chicago!
-[Lawler] They love The Rock in Chicago! -[Ross] No doubt about it.
[Lawler] This is a blowhard and this is a Windy City.
Big Show, last night on Sunday Night Heat,
you did something you never should have done,
and that was put your big sweaty palms on the People's Champion.
[all cheering]
-[Ross] He did it with a vengeance. -[Lawler] With a big sweaty fist.
[The Rock] Big Show, you think you impressed The Rock?
Let The Rock make something perfectly clear to you,
is you have never heard The Rock means…
[crowd chanting] Ever!
…ever impressed The Rock from the time your crappy music hits.
Well, it's the Big Slow.
[Lawler] Big Slow? He'll pay for that.
And every single Rock fan stops, pauses and takes a look
and they all say this,
"I'm going to take a leak, this guy sucks."
[Lawler] Uh-oh.
[Ross] Big Show and The Undertaker are not going to like this.
[crowd chanting] Rocky! Rocky! Rocky!
[Lawler] He hears it with the people's ears.
And you walk down The Rock's ramp, and you step over the top rope
like that's supposed to impress somebody.
And then, Big Show, you do something that is without a shadow of a doubt
the most impressive thing The Rock has ever seen, and that's this.
[mockingly wails]
[Lawler] He's digging his grave, I'm afraid.
-Oh, what'd I tell you? -[dramatic music playing]
[Ross] Oh, here they come.
[Lawler] Listened to all they can stand.
[Ross] And The Rock is standing his ground. Boy, this is…
[Lawler] That's foolish.
[Ross] This is gonna get ugly in a hurry here tonight.
Man, on a night where the…
One thing you candy asses should know is that The Rock
ain't running from nobody, especially you two jabronis.
[Ross] It's going to be on right here.
And look at The Rock going right to The Big Show.
And now The Big Show and The Undertaker double teaming The Rock.
-The Rock stood his ground, King. -[Lawler] The Rock is nuts, if you ask me.
[Ross] Big Show at 7'2 and 500 pounds. And look at that!
There comes X-Pac. X-Pac is back.
-[Lawler] What? -[Ross] He goes right to The Undertaker.
The X-Pac almost put out of business by The Undertaker and The Big Show.
And the courageous youngster from Minneapolis is down.
[Lawler] Go ahead, say it. He's down already.
[Ross] Look at X-Pac get right back up.
He gets knocked down and he gets right back up.
-[Lawler] Oh, man. -[Ross] Maybe not this time.
[Ross] It's a Road Dogg.
Now Road Dogg.
[Lawler] Watch it. Whoa.
[Ross] Road Dogg with us.
Those hundred cannon fists. Ooh!
But that's not going to be enough.
What is enough? Is anything enough to stop the Undertaker?
Oh, and it's Kane.
-[Lawler] What? -[Ross] It's Kane.
Here comes Kane.
[Lawler] Oh!
[Ross] Kane hammering his brother, the Undertaker,
and they're going for the 500 pounder.
Oh, my God!
[Lawler] No!
[Ross] It's four on two. The Undertaker and The Big Show are going to regroup.
["Are You Ready?" playing]
The Big Show and The Undertaker doing a hellacious number on The Rock.
This is a scintillating way to kick off Raw here tonight.
[Lawler] Look at The Rock. They're trying to help him,
but Oscar's refusing any help from The Rob Rob or anybody else.
[Ross] The Rock has got some bad ribs there, King.
I'm not sure.
And The Undertaker is…
And The Big Show had one thing on their mind.
That was to eliminate The Rock or anybody else in their path.
What a night it's going to be.
Oh, I want to tell you, first of all, Jesse the…
Whoa. Jesse "The Body" Ventura is here.
Yesterday, he talked to a president. Tonight, he's going to talk to a King.
One statement to another, Jesse The Body in this ring.
Also one-on-one. We're going to see Edge's little brother,
Christian takes on Gangrel.
A lot of fast blood within this entity here.
[Lawler] That's right. And then Test and Ken Shamrock are going to team up.
Watch out, Shane McMahon.
Test and Shamrock together against Joey Abs and Steve Blackman.
And ladies and gentlemen, in a match
where there will be hardcore rules.
It'll be the Big Boss Man going one-on-one with the Road Dogg.
Anything goes in that hardcore rules matchup.
And you know, it's counting down.
Tonight, we're finally gonna unravel the mystery.
We're gonna find out the significance of the new Millennium Clock.
[Ross] And as we said, the Rattlesnake, the WWE Champion,
Stone Cold Steve Austin is gonna be here tonight as well.
Who is the Rattlesnake on the track tonight?
Man, what a night it's going to be.
Just 13 days from SummerSlam, the biggest pay-per-view of the summer.
And as we said, the atmosphere here in Chicago all day
has been absolutely electrifying.
I would assume--
-[Lawler] Here he comes. -[Ross] That is Jesse "The Body" Ventura.
-[Lawler] What a ride. -[Ross] He's been in town for a few hours.
We're assuming that this is Jesse The Body arriving here tonight.
-[Lawler] Be on your best behavior, JR. -[Ross] Oh, I will.
Of course, Jesse will be the special referee
for the WWE title matchup at SummerSlam in Minneapolis, Minnesota.
[Lawler] How many bodyguards do you think he's got?
-[Ross] I'm sure a lot. -[Lawler] What's out there?
-[Ross] It's Shawn Michaels. -[Lawler] What?
-[Ross] That's the commissioner. -[Lawler] Wait a minute.
-[Ross] Shawn Michaels. -[Lawler] What's that sound?
What is he doing here?
[Ross] That's a great question. What is Shawn Michaels doing here?
-Business is picking up already tonight. -[Lawler] What?
[narrator] No nonsense.
[Austin] Stone Cold Steve Austin is an equal opportunity ass kicker.
[narrator] No bull [bleep].
-[Austin] That just ain't going to happen. -[narrator] Stonecold.com.
[Austin] And that's the bottom line,
'cause Stone Cold said so.
X-Pac Kane, after what we've seen already tonight,
X-Pac, it looks like you're over your concussion.
You're Goddamn right, Michael Cole.
And tonight, it's time to take care of unfinished business.
We just took care of some, and we got some more.
Acolytes, WWE Tag Team titles.
Tonight, you ain't got a Goddamn thing to say about it.
-We're doing it! -[crowd cheering]
[Ross] Well, X-Pac, very motivated, very emotional.
-[Lawler] A potty mouth. -[Ross] I apologize for that language.
I will apologize for that.
X-Pac and Kane challenging The Acolytes of the tag team title here tonight.
[Lawler] He should keep his words soft this week,
he may have to eat up later on.
[announcer] …weighing in at 220 pounds, Christian!
[Lawler] You know what? This thing, this show isn't starting off to my liking.
What is that idiot Shawn Michaels doing here?
-[Ross] He's the commissioner. -[Lawler] Oh.
[Ross] I really don't know why he's here, but I guarantee he's not
-just passing through town. -[Lawler] Right.
That's what I'm worried about.
[Ross] Christian, the younger brother of Edge, will meet Gangrel.
And of course, at one time, Christian, Edge,
and Gangrel formed the group known as the Brood.
["Blood" playing]
It certainly looked for a while there that Christian was going to pledge
his allegiance to Gangrel.
During the bloodbath match last week on Raw, that it went the other way.
Christian went with his brother, Edge.
It has been an electrifying day here in Chicago.
A lot of very unique personalities have stopped by as the day has progressed.
[Lawler] And now Shawn Michaels. Oh.
I can assure you one thing, Gangrel, this is not going to set,
it's not going to set well with Gangrel, that little Kodak moment
we saw there a few minutes ago.
Christian and Edge, hugging it up.
Oh, wow.
[Ross] Should be a great offensive matchup here between Gangrel and Christian.
Obviously being former partners, they know each other very well.
[Lawler] I told you! Oh, no.
[Ross] Christian, the quicker of the two, able to step out of the way to Gangrel
who will have a pronounced size and strength advantage in this matchup.
-[Lawler] And incentive. Look at that. -[Ross] He's motivated,
no doubt about that.
High hip block takeover by Christian, looking for the dropkick.
Got a piece of it, and Gangrel's going to step outside for a moment,
but can't get far enough away from Christian.
-[Lawler] Watch it! Oh! -[Ross] And nobody there that time
as Christian trying to high-risk move off the apron.
Now nothing but the security barricade there, King.
[Lawler] I'll just tell you this.
You're going to see, as this match progresses,
Gangrel is going to take out a lot of frustration.
He spent a lot of time nurturing Christian Long,
and then all of a sudden, Christian turns his back on him.
[Ross] Both these guys are very talented young competitors here in the WWE.
There's no doubt.
And certainly, as we said…
Angrel has a great deal of motivation here.
We are still awaiting the arrival of Stone Cold Steve Austin,
who is in Chicago and will be here in just a little bit, we understand,
the WWE Champion.
Wouldn't miss this event or anything in the world.
Jesse "The Body" Ventura will speak to the King tonight.
[Lawler] Oh, look out!
-Oh, man! -[Ross] Tornado DDT. Nice move there.
It is going to be a momentous night to say the very, very least here.
We're glad that you are with us here tonight, ladies and gentlemen.
[Lawler] Watch it.
[Ross] The Rock getting hammered moments ago
by The Undertaker and The Big Show.
[Lawler] What was up with The Rock?
I mean, Road Dogg and X-Pac all tried to help him up there
and Kane, and he didn't seem to appreciate their help.
-Look at this. -[Ross] Wait a minute.
-Hardy Boys are here. -[Lawler] Hardy Boys.
[Ross] Hardy Boys, Matt and Jeff Hardy are here.
Oh, Christian going airborne on Matt Hardy.
And now the Hardys, former tag team champions.
[Lawler] Now what's Christian's problem with these guys?
[Ross] The Brood and the Hardys have had issues.
There's no doubt about that, King, in the immediate past here.
-Of course, the Hardys… -[Lawler] Oh, oh, did you see that?
[Ross] That red, whatever that stuff is, it got right into Christian's eyes.
Man, what a DDT that was. Face first with Christian.
-And the Hardy Boys with a distraction. -[bell rings]
And Dan Grail beats Christian.
And now the Hardy Boys are beating Christian up.
The Hardy Boys. But there's Edge.
[Lawler] Oh, look out! Oh, my gosh!
[Ross] Edge now coming to the aid of his brother Christian.
Oh, what a spear by Edge.
What a scintillating move there.
He's looking for the downward spiral.
But instead, it's Edge that receives the DDT from Gangrel.
And now Gangrel and the Hardys are triple teaming Edge.
-[Lawler] What a DDT that was. -[Ross] What is going on here?
The Hardys and Gangrel.
Here comes Michael Hayes, the manager of the Hardy Boys.
[Lawler] Michael Hayes has orchestrated a masterpiece here. He's…
-Wait a minute. -[Ross] Hayes pulling his troops away
and having some stern words with the Hardys.
-[Lawler] Look at him. -[Ross] The Hardys from behind.
[Lawler] They've turned on Michael Hayes.
[Ross] The Hardys from behind are assaulting Michael Hayes.
-The Hardys are down a number… -[Lawler] What the… look at…
[Ross] …on their manager.
[Lawler] I would have sworn that Michael Hayes put these guys up to…
-Oh, my God! -[Ross] Senton Bomb by Jeff Hardy.
And now Matt Jeff Hardy and Gangrel as they duck triple-teamed Edge
or triple-teaming Michael Hayes.
["Blood" playing]
[Lawler] They've got someone helping.
-Hayes has had it. -[Ross] What is this?
Is this a relationship where the Hardys and Gangrel…
[Lawler] I don't know.
I would have sworn that Michael Hayes brought the Hardy Boys out here
to jump on Edge, but that's obviously not the case.
[Ross] I don't know.
Folks, the Acolytes are challenged earlier.
Let's see if they accept. Michael Cole?
Baruch and Bradshaw, you heard the challenge
earlier tonight from X-Pac and Kane.
Will you put the tag team titles on the line tonight?
Yeah, we'll put the belts on the line. What it means to us?
Look, you and the whole world saw what we did to Kane's punk ass last night.
Now all of a sudden, this little chihuahua X-Pac shows up
out of nowhere and thinks he's going to be the savior.
It doesn't matter, Michael Cole. Nobody on this planet can stand toe-to-toe
with us, including the Undertaker and the Big Baboon.
Those boys want a shot at these, they got it.
[Ross] Well, there you see Jesse The Body Ventura.
-[Lawler] Uh-oh! -[Ross] He is headed our way.
[Lawler] Oh! Let me get ready.
[Ross] The King will talk to The Body.
♪ Chef, uh-huh Yeah ♪
♪ The Rock says cheffy Uh-huh ♪
♪ Do you smell what The Rock is cooking? ♪
♪ Yeah chef you with The Rock He's hot ♪
♪ Got the best of everything The good times rock ♪
♪ Got a real fine ride With the chef inside ♪
♪ Cheffy Rock laying the SmackDown ♪
♪ We gettin' cheffy with it What? What? ♪
The Rock says don't be a jabroni, eat your Chef Boyardee ravioli.
♪ Ah, I think you getting cheffy With 'em ♪
[Ross] We are live in beautiful Chicago, Illinois.
The Allstate Arena has been sold out for quite some time in anticipation
for tonight's Raw is WAR.
And certainly we're just 13 days away from SummerSlam,
the premier extravaganza of the summer on pay-per-view.
[Lawler] And now it is my pleasure to introduce the man who will be
the special guest referee at SummerSlam.
From one statement to another, he shocked the world,
and he will shock SummerSlam, Jesse "The Body" Ventura!
["The Body Rules" playing]
[Ross] A standing ovation from this sold-out crowd
for Jesse "The Body" Ventura.
And yes, the Buddy will be responsible for maintaining law and order
at SummerSlam for the WWE title matchup.
Folks, we are counting the days to SummerSlam.
The premier pay-per-view extravaganza of the summer.
It's just 13 days away.
Jesse, you said it.
You shocked the world, and I know you're going to shock SummerSlam,
and I know you got some things you want to get off your chest
and have at it.
Well, first of all, King Jerry Lawler, I've been out of wrestling for a while.
And most people know I've been doing a lot of other stuff.
But it's time to review for a moment who Jesse "The Body" Ventura is.
[all cheering]
First of all, I am a former wrestling champion,
so I know my way in and out of the ring.
Second of all, I was the first referee ever at SummerSlam
because it was a special deal required again.
And third and most importantly, I am the only professional wrestler
who can legitimately say he was a Navy SEAL.
[all cheering]
Now,
you know, you people are going to see a lot of frauds out there.
You're going to see a lot of Navy SEAL wannabes,
people that want to pretend they were, but really were not.
People who, when it was time to serve their country,
they ran off like gutless cowards and probably played in a hippie rock band.
People who also like to pretend they're Navy SEALs on television shows,
on bad acted made for TV movies with Bozo the Clown haircuts.
Well, I am the real deal when it comes to being a pro wrestler,
former Navy SEAL.
I know Rogue Warrior Demo Dick Marcinko, the commander.
He's a friend of mine.
I was trained by Master Chief Terry Mother Moy.
I also just secured the first time in history a civilian has secured
Class 226 Navy Seals from Hell Week.
-[all cheering] -And King…
I also climbed the rope ladder a week ago on board the USS Pearl Harbor.
I was given eight bells and a salute from both the captain
and the executive officer.
Now, what I'm getting down to here
is SummerSlam takes place August 22nd
at the Target Center in Minneapolis.
Well, we all know who is the power in Minnesota.
And we all know, why did World Wrestling Entertainment
come to Jesse "The Body" Ventura for a match of this magnitude,
a World Heavyweight Championship match?
Because they know I am the only person who can deliver law and order
to where a champion will be decided in the center of the ring.
And that that champion will truly be the best wrestler
in World Wrestling Entertainment.
And let me say, wrestler, King Jerry Lawler, wrestler.
Now, I know who the two men are.
-Stone Cold Steve Austin. -[all cheering]
[Ross] That's the champ.
And Triple H.
[crowd booing]
And you know what?
Before I get to that, I want to say one thing else.
If you don't believe the power that I have,
notice you don't see that scumbag Vince McMahon anywhere around.
[crowd cheering]
-[Ross] Thanks to Stone Cold. -You notice you don't see him.
-["My Time" playing] -[Lawler] Wait a minute.
[on speaker] …Triple H.
[Ross] Interruption here. And now The Body…
We're gonna find out who the best wrestler is.
And by looking at the screen, apparently they're coming now.
[Ross] Well, Triple H, the number one contender for the WWE title,
along with Chyna, as usual.
And making their way to the ring.
Triple H, the number one contender to Austin, hey, hey, hey, WWE title.
The girl's standing proud here, I guarantee that.
Look at me.
I just got a simple message, Triple H, and for you to listen, too, Chyna.
August 22nd at the Target Center in Minneapolis, Minnesota at SummerSlam.
You'll get your shot at the title.
But I will tell you right now, you better work on your wrestling moves.
Because the best wrestler is going to win that night between you
and Stone Cold Steve Austin.
Because it's my way or the highway in that ring.
Those are the rules. Live with it.
You know…
You must be stuck in the '70s or something.
I hear you out here talking about former this, former that,
I was, I used to be.
And I'm beginning to think that the air up there has got to be doing
something to your brain.
It's got to be throwing you off, making you see and do funny things.
[crowd chanting] Asshole! Asshole! Asshole! Asshole!
[Ross] An unsettling chant directed to the number one contender.
I think they're talking to you.
[crowd cheering]
Let me make this clear.
This is not Minnesota.
This is my world.
This right here, where your two little feet are standing,
dead center in the middle of what is my ring.
[crowd booing]
King, you better explain to him
that this is my country,
which is bigger than your ring.
-[crowd cheering] -You better tell him
to go look at The New York Times today, to go look at The LA Times today,
and see whose picture stood with the President of the United States today.
-[all cheering] -[Ross] That was The Body.
You might have been standing face to face with the president,
but right now you're standing face to face, nose to nose,
eye to eye with me.
And I don't care who you are, and I don't care who you've got with you.
If right here in the middle of this ring, I feel like kicking your ass, I will.
[Ross] Oh, come on, Helmsley. Show a little class for once.
[crowd booing]
["Sexy Boy" playing]
Oh, wait a minute. Here comes the commissioner.
Here comes Shawn Michaels.
We were surprised to see Michaels get out of that limo earlier tonight.
♪ Up and down their spine ♪
♪ I'm just a sexy boy ♪
And Michaels has got something on his mind, I guarantee you.
Michaels is not in Chicago, he's in San Antonio by accident.
-♪ I'm not your boy toy ♪ -…in town to go watch The Cubs play.
♪ I make them hot I make them shiver ♪
♪ Their knees get weak Whenever… ♪
Now…
you know as well as I do, Triple H, that Jesse "The Body" Ventura
has standards and practices that he must abide by.
-But I don't. -Whoa.
[Ross] There you go.
You see, come SummerSlam, this man right here will be
the most powerful referee in world ref…
-Wrestling Entertainment history. -[inaudible]
And if I'm not mistaken,
I thought I heard you say that this is your world.
Well, every fan of World Wrestling Entertainment
knows just who it was that brought you into this world.
[Ross] That was Shawn Michaels.
But Helmsley says that now it's Helmsley's time.
Now, if you don't get that glare out of your stare, boy,
I'm going to knock it off.
[Ross] Oh, Helmsley shoving the commissioner
And Michaels and Hilton may go at it right here.
Jesse Ventura…
intervening here.
And Michaels is getting ready to fight.
Shawn Michaels is ready to fight Triple H right here, right now.
Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.
[Ross] Ventura…
…telling something to Michaels, maybe giving Michaels some advice,
I don't know.
Now normally I'd beat your ass right here, right now,
but…
Jesse "The Body" has conveniently informed me when you got as much stroke
-and power as we do. -What this is, this is politics.
And when you've got the stroke of "The Body" and HBK,
you need not get physical.
You want to get physical? You got it.
Tonight, you, Undertaker, and Stone Cold Steve Austin…
-[mouths] What? [inaudible] -[crowd cheering]
…will compete in a Triple Threat match and Triple H,
it may very well be indeed your time,
but tonight it's going to be my way.
-Hit my music. -["Sexy Boy" playing]
[Ross] Can you imagine that tonight?
Austin, The Undertaker, Triple H, Triple Threat Matchup.
Cooler heads prevailed
thanks to Jesse "The Body" Ventura.
And then Michaels, taunting Triple H.
["Sexy Boy" playing]
Michaels is the Commisioner of the WWE.
And Michaels and Ventura got the last word in.
Tonight, it will be Helmsley, The Undertaker and that man,
The Rattlesnake in the ring tonight in a Triple Threat Match up.
My God, it's gonna be a war tonight.
[narrator] We witnessed the end of an era.
We've seen the most defiant champion of all time.
Now epect the unexpected as we enter the dawn of a new age.
[commentator] And folks, it don't get no bigger than this.
[narrator] The WWE explodes onto network television
when SmackDown premieres
August 26th on Prime Time.
Prepare for impact when the most dangerous soap opera invades Prime Time.
Come on.
Man, I gotta go, man.
Come on, come on, you're gonna pass out, let's go.
-Man, I gotta use the bathroom. -[shouting indistinctly]
-Oh! -Come on.
-Man, I gotta feel number one. -Come on, Mark.
Man, I can't run, I gotta use the bathroom.
Come on. Go ahead, I'll recharge… [mumbles]
You're doing number one. Go back in the woods
-and nobody sees you, man. -Man, there's snakes back there.
-Get in the woods, brother. Jog, jog, jog. -Okay.
Come on, boy.
I'm watching you. I'm watching you, boy.
-Stop, stop, make it stop. -What, Jeff, get back in here!
What are you doing? Why do you have to lose your temper so much?
Get in the car! Jeff, get in the car!
Get in the car!
-[woman] I'm telling you-- -[Jeff Jarrett] Go! Go!
[Ross] That happened earlier today, ladies and gentlemen.
Jeff Jarrett assaulting D'Lo Brown.
We know at SummerSlam, Jerry will meet D'Lo Brown
for both D'Lo's European and Intercontinental title, King.
-King, you all right? -[Lawler] Yeah, I'm having
an out-of-body experience here myself.
Look at that!
[announcer] …Tennessee, weighing in at 241 pounds,
Jeff Jarrett.
And he's being accompanied by Debra.
[Lawler] Oh, yeah! I'm always a little…
Come on, Jeff! She's trying to be a puppy pleaser,
and he's kind of a party pooper, isn't he?
Right. Puppy party pooper.
[Ross] Jarrett is obsessed with winning the Intercontinental title again.
[Lawler] But what about that attack in the park there on D'Lo?
-Oh, my gosh. -[Ross] Jarrett's doing a lot
these days I don't understand.
-[man on speaker] Hello, ladies. -["Hello Ladies" playing]
[announcer] And his opponent from Las Vegas, Nevada,
weighing in at 244 pounds,
Val Venis.
[Ross] Last night on Heat,
Val Venis challenged D'Lo Brown for the Intercontinental title.
Jarrett was doing commentary at ringside, and when it looked like Val
was going to win the Intercontinental title,
Jarrett attacked again from behind.
[Lawler] And then once again, he blew his cool at Debra.
-[indistinct arguing] -Listen…
I just don't get it.
Jarrett's blaming all his problems on Debra,
and he should look in the mirror.
You have to blame somebody. The motto is love thy neighbor.
Man, especially if you live next door to Debra.
Hello, ladies.
[Lawler] Oh, Jarrett again. Jarrett again from behind.
[bell rings]
[Ross] Jarrett now all over Val Venis here.
[referee] Come on, Jarrett, get off.
-Come on, Jarrett, keep off. -[Lawler] Man, oh, man.
[Ross] Apparently, some kind of commotion or something has happened
back in the back of the locker room or somewhere back in the back area, King.
[Lawler] Oh, my.
[Ross] Just learned that…
Something has taken place in a locker room, but details are sketchy.
[Lawler] How come they never tell me? They just tell you in your ear.
What's happened?
[Ross] I really don't know. They're trying to get us information now.
Apologize, ladies and gentlemen, for digressing in this match.
There's a knockdown from the clothesline by Val Venis and a near fall.
[Lawler] I know these people in the crowd want puppies. I know that.
[Ross] Well, apparently something has happened,
not in the locker room now, we're being told, but in a stairwell.
-[Lawler] What's happened? -[Ross] I don't know.
[Lawler] I'm being told nothing.
[Ross] I'm telling you everything I'm being told.
[Lawler] Uh-oh.
[Ross] And Debra up on the apron now.
Val Venis can't take his eye off the ball here.
[Lawler imitates barking] Uh-oh. Watch it.
-Look out. Oh, my gosh. -[Ross] What a move there by Val Venis.
Will that be enough? Yes, it is.
And Val Venis has beaten Jeff Jarrett here.
[announcer] Your winner, Val Venis.
[Lawler] Debra, with a…
[Ross] Debra didn't… She didn't do anything.
-[Lawler] I know. We didn't see puppies. -[Ross] Oh.
Well, Jeff Jarrett has just lost to Val Venis.
And it looks like, to me, from where I sit,
that Jarrett again is blaming Debra for his problems.
[Lawler] Oh, it is really hot now.
-I told you. -Come on.
[Lawler] Can you hear 'em?
I don't know what you think--
-[Lawler] Look out! -[Ross] Val Venis coming back to…
To help out Debra,
-Jarrett was verbally berating Debra. -…not to come in the damn ring.
-I told you not to come in the damn ring. -[Ross] He's no gentleman, I can tell you.
[Lawler] I wish Debra would dress more like a lady.
Lady Godiva. [yelps]
[Ross] Val Venis doing the right thing. Showing that he is a gentleman.
Can't say the same thing for Jarrett, unfortunately.
-But… -[Lawler] Val Venis, the gentleman?
-You forget the movies he makes? -[Ross] Trying to get the camera.
-[Lawler] Oh, my gosh, look at this. -My God, that's Austin.
-Oh, hell. -[Lawler] What's happening?
[Ross] That's Stone Cold.
We've got to take a break.
[man] Come on.
-[Lawler] What happened? -[indistinct chatter]
He tripped over the cinderblock
and you bashed on his head, you dumbass? Come on. He didn't…
Folks, we are back live on Raw from Chicago,
an extremely serious situation here.
Paramedics are working on the Texas Rattlesnake,
Stone Cold Steve Austin.
He's being wheeled in a gurney to a waiting ambulance,
and it looks to me that Stone Cold Steve Austin
is indeed unconscious.
We thought before the break that Stone Cold had fallen down
a flight of stairs, but it seems now that Stone Cold Steve Austin
was the victim of a heinous, of a vicious attack.
There was a cinder block near his head, and wait a minute here.
-What happened? -What do you mean?
-You think you're gonna get out of this? -What happened? What happened?
Go, go, go.
Well, again, folks, Stone Cold Steve Austin,
the victim of a heinous attack, it appears to me.
Now, it's one man's opinion, but I surveyed the situation,
and there was a cinder block on the floor near the head of Stone Cold Steve Austin.
And in my opinion, Stone Cold was the victim of a heinous,
of a vicious attack by someone in this building here in Chicago.
Folks, we hope to get more information on Stone Cold Steve Austin.
[Ross] Okay, Michael, thank you.
The commissioner, Shawn Michaels, on his way out here.
And certainly, folks, we will indeed keep you updated
on Stone Cold's situation.
[Lawler] Come on, Michael Cole's opinion. Opinions are like noses.
Everybody's got one.
Stone Cold probably stumbled and fell down the steps.
[Ross] Well, could happen.
Now, I'm sure everybody saw what happened.
Now the question is, who can we hold responsible for this?
[all cheering]
Could it be the man that was going to face Stone Cold at SummerSlam?
[Lawler] Everybody wants to blame somebody.
Could it be the man that was supposed to face Stone Cold Steve Austin,
and The Undertaker right here tonight in a Triple Threat match?
[all cheering]
Yeah, damn skippy it was.
Hunter, get that bony little ass of yours out here.
[Ross] The commissioner calling out
the number one contender for the WWE title.
[Lawler] He's trying to say Hunter dropped a cinderblock on Steve Austin's head.
[Ross] That certainly sounds like the insinuation.
[Lawler] Everybody's quick to jump to conclusions.
It's the only exercise Michaels gets lately.
My guess is, is that he thinks he's gonna weasel his way out
of this Triple Threat match tonight.
Well, I got news for you.
Nobody puts anything over on the commissioner
of World Wrestling Entertainment.
Yours truly, HBK.
[Ross] Michael signed earlier tonight, Austin, Helmsley, and The Undertaker.
Ouch.
[Michaels] You know what in the hell I'm talking about.
I don't even know what happened back there.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Now, Hunter…
I taught you everything you know, boy.
The only thing you would understand is that I'm the teacher
and you're the student.
Now, you may have eliminated one of your opponents tonight
in that Triple Threat match, but you, my friend,
are definitely going to wrestle tonight.
That Triple Threat match is now going
to be a Falls Count Anywhere match.
[Lawler] Wow. There you have it. You ain't got three people.
Austin's in the hospital.
[Michaels] No disqualification.
No time limit. No count out.
And it is also going to be for the number one contendership
-at SummerSlam. -[Lawler] What? What?
So if you want that match at SummerSlam, you're gonna have to earn it tonight.
-And just to make sure-- -Hey, you can't do that to me.
I earned that slot. This is my time, Punk, and I earned it.
You can't do that to me.
Oh, but I can.
I'm the commissioner, and I can do whatever the hell I damn well.
Please.
[Ross] Boy, Helmsley doesn't like this at all.
And just to make sure you're a good little boy,
I'm going to go ahead and special referee that match.
-[Ross] HBK a referee? -[Lawler] What? What the--
Now, wait a second.
It's a Triple Threat, false count, anywhere I got all that.
But you and I both saw Austin taken out of here in an ambulance.
-[Lawler] Right. -He's not here, so it isn't happening.
Well, what we're gonna do then is find you another opponent.
[Ross] Who's it gonna be?
Now the question is, who is the kind of person that
would take advantage of this kind of opportunity?
-[Lawler] I don't know. -Who's the kind of person that would stab
their own mother in the back for just this one chance?
Who's the kind of person who has been living in
somebody else's shadow for so long that they would just be jumping
at a chance to go to SummerSlam
and face the World Wrestling Entertainment Champion.
[Ross] He ain't talking about The Rock.
[Lawler and Ross] Who is it?
Well, I think I've got that person.
Tonight, in the Triple Threat match, it's gonna be Triple H.
It's gonna be The Undertaker.
[Lawler] Yeah? Who?
And the third and final opponent in that Triple Threat match
to see who the number one contender at SummerSlam will be
is Chyna.
-[Ross] Oh, my God. -[Lawler] What?
-[Ross] I can't believe this. -[Lawler] Wait a minute.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. All right, all right, all right.
Enough is enough, Shawn. Enough is enough.
All due respect,
Chyna's just a girl.
Let's not put her in this spot, Shawn, because she could get hurt.
This is serious business. This is for the number one contender slot.
No place for a woman.
-[Ross] Uh-oh. -[Lawler] Oh, no.
What?
-[Ross] I don't think-- -[Lawler] Michaels playing politics.
I'll take that opportunity, Commissioner Michaels.
[Lawler] What?
"Just a woman?"
Try me, Triple H.
-[Ross] Wow. -[Lawler] She'll take the opportunity.
[Ross] Who's the number one contender tonight?
-["Sexy Boy" playing] -Is it Helmsley?
Is it going to be The Undertaker?
Or could it be Chyna? Chyna?
[Lawler] But…
[Ross] What a Triple Threat match tonight.
And who'll be the number one contender?
-Figure of speech. -Don't talk to me about
figure of speeches, Triple H.
I get my opportunity, you get your opportunity.
That's how it works. It's business. I'm taking it.
It was a figure of speech. I didn't mean anything by it.
If it was, you wouldn't have said it. No, I'm taking it. I don't care what…
["Organ" playing]
[Ross] Well, Shawn or Triple H and the Undertaker tonight.
[Lawler] Oh, boy.
[Ross] Michaels the referee to determine the number one contender
-for the title in a Triple Threat match. -[Lawler yelps]
["Are You Ready?" playing]
[Ross] What is this?
[Lawler] What the…
[Ross] Kane and X-Pac together.
We knew they're together now, they're together.
Not only music, they would…
In every way you can encounter, they're going to challenge
for the tag team titles against The Acolytes here.
[Lawler] What have they done to that, that entrance music?
It's like a little bit of Kane and a little bit of DX
and they've just jammed them together.
♪ Do you know who you're talking to? ♪
[Ross] X-Pac laid down a challenge earlier tonight.
He asked for-- Oh, my.
[Lawler] What?
-What else is gonna happen tonight? -[Ross] X-Pac just showed Kane
what's lt like to have a heart.
What it's like to be a human being.
♪ D-GENERATION ♪
[Lawler] Oh, I'll tell you.
I'll just tell you that tonight, Raw is WAR is brought to you by Castrol,
the official motor oil of the WWE.
Now when you buy a case of Castrol GTX motor oil,
you get one of these six-foot WWE superstar posters free.
See case for details. And by Burger King.
When you have it your way, it just tastes better.
And by Napa Auto Parts. We keep America running.
[Ross] And here come the Tag Team Champions,
about to put the gold on the line here tonight, live on Raw.
[Lawler] Oh, boy.
[Ross] Boy, this is gonna be a fight, I guarantee you, from the get-go.
These Acolytes are not intimidated by anybody,
including Kane and X-Pac, including, as they said earlier,
The Undertaker and The Big Show. And here we go.
Farooq and X-Pac on the outside, leaving Bradshaw and Kane on the inside
of the squared circle with the tag team titles on the line.
[Lawler] Brother, this is going to be… What's your favorite word, JR?
-What's this going to be? Oh, man. -[Ross] A slobber knocker.
And look at Kane hammering down Bradshaw. That's not no easy job.
Hard uppercut by Kane.
The Big Red Machine is working on all cylinders here.
Almost as if X-Pac has got Kane to come out of a shell.
[Lawler] Let's see if we can get him to go back in.
[Ross] Ooh! What a knockdown by Kane. There's a cover.
Farooq makes a save there.
[Lawler] Why would you want Kane out of his shell?
I mean, what kind of warped personality must he have?
[Ross] Bradshaw forcing Kane back in the corner.
There's the tagline.
Now Farooq and Bradshaw double teaming.
X-Pac wanting to get involved.
Stopped by the referee. The Acolytes with a double team.
How much of an advantage have they gained here against the Big Red Machine?
Enough to knock him down one more time in this tag team championship match.
-[Lawler] Uh-oh, watch it. -[Ross] Kane reversing Farooq.
Farooq in the face with a huge split, and there's the tag.
[Lawler] Oh, boy.
-Oh, my gosh. -[Ross] And it's quicker than a hiccup.
Then Farooq… Oh, man!
Good lord, can you imagine that force as X-Pac's head just bounced off
-the canvas? -[Lawler] Yeah, I heard a hiccup.
Oh, boy, I think he did something else too when he landed.
[Ross] These Acolytes are colder than the other side of the pillow.
I'll guarantee you that.
Bradshaw and Farooq have been great tag team champions.
Folks, we are-- Stone Cold Steve Austin has arrived at a local medical center.
We have someone on the scene that will give us a report,
hopefully, as soon as there is information to provide you.
Austin--
[Lawler] Jesse "The Body" Ventura has been here,
and I understand he's still here. Oh.
[Ross] Unconfirmed reports tell us
that Austin is still unconscious at the medical facility.
Look at the power of Bradshaw,
intercepting that spinning heel kick by X-Pac.
Caught him in midair.
They've got a near fall. No, Kane. That's Kane coming in.
[Lawler] Watch yourself, ref.
[Ross] Great teamwork by the Acolytes to have isolated X-Pac.
This is not anything that we were surprised about.
And look at that backbreaker, slinging X-Pac down like he was a ragdoll.
It's a powerhouse group.
[Lawler] X-Pac is just so outweighed and outmatched
by the strength and power of the Acolytes.
[Ross] But you can't measure X-Pac's heart in pounds and inches.
The bearhug, about as elementary as a move could be,
but the pace has slowed down. X-Pac has been isolated.
Sound strategy by the Acolytes.
-But X-Pac frees himself. -[Lawler] Oh, boy.
[Ross] Boy, oh, boy.
[Lawler] Eat some boot leather, X-Pac.
[Ross] I don't know how much
X-Pac's going to be able to sustain of this punishment.
We saw what The Undertaker and Big Show did to X-Pac a week or so ago.
-Nice enzuigiri by X-Pac. -[Lawler] Oh, my gosh.
[Ross] Taking Bradshaw down, X-Pac trying to crawl.
[Lawler] He knocked Bradshaw out!
[Ross] With everything in his being, to make the call.
-[Lawler] Bradshaw! Leandro! -[Ross] Yes!
-The tag has been made! -[Lawler] What's he doing?
[Ross] Kane!
Not a fly! Oh, there!
The Big Red Machine is a flying machine!
[Lawler] Oh!
[Ross] Kane, opening up now on The Acolytes.
Tag Team Champions in trouble.
Chokeslam time, and Bradshaw from behind.
Put the quad blocks to that.
[Lawler yelps]
-Kane ran right through the champion. -[Lawler] Did you see that?
Double clothesline.
The power of the Big Red Machine is absolutely haunting.
[Lawler] This is just a sample of what we're going to see
in that Triple Threat Match
with Shawn Michaels as special ref.
-Oh, look at this. -[Ross] Oh, look out.
Kane knocked over the top rope
and he landed on his feet.
-And now The Acolytes. -[Lawler] This is what you get, X-Pac,
trying to use Shane McMahon's Bronco Buster.
[Ross] Trying to put him away. And the X-Factor! The X-Factor!
X-Pac hit the X-Factor!
-Yes! -[bell rings]
We've got new tag champions! X-Pac and Kane have done it!
[Lawler] What? Are you…
[announcer] Your new World Wrestling Entertainment tag team champions…
[Lawler] Wait a minute…
[announcer] …X-Pac and Kane!
[Ross] The Road Dogg here to celebrate with X-Pac and Kane.
X-Pac and Kane have climbed the tag team mountain.
[Lawler] X-Pac's saying cut the music, wha-- You need to celebrate, you idiot.
Hey!
This has been a long time coming!
If you ain't down,
with me and the Big Red Machine
being the WWE Tag Team Champs again…
Hold on, Kane has got two words for you.
[Lawler] What?
[X-Pac] Wait, no, yeah.
[Lawler] Where's that speech thing?
You don't need this damn thing anymore.
Come on, let's hear it without this thing.
Come on.
[all cheering]
-[Ross] Can't believe this. -[Lawler] Kane's got two words for us?
-Suck it. -[all cheering]
[Ross] Kane, speaking his first words,
and they are memorable ones.
Hey, wait a minute.
My God, there's The Big Show and The Undertaker.
The Undertaker and The Big Show.
[Lawler] Where did they come from?
[Ross] The Undertaker trying to take his brother's head off.
[Lawler] Suck on that, Kane.
[Ross] The Big Show going right after X-Pac's neck.
[Lawler] He won't be speaking any more words for a long time.
[Ross] Now the 500 pounder, The Big Show and The Phenom.
They were double teaming Kane.
The Road Dogg has been taken out of this game.
-[Lawler] Uh-oh. -[Ross] A low blow by the Big Show.
500 pounds low. Oh, man.
After going through a war of the acolytes, now this for Kane and X-Pac.
And look at the carnage that has been left at the hands
of the Undertaker and the Big Show.
Kane, X-Pac, and the Road Dogg are down, and they aren't moving.
[Lawler] Wow.
Wow.
[Ross] We are back, ladies and gentlemen,
with the new WWE Tag Team Champions.
King, just moments ago, it was X-Pac with the X-Factor
that led his team to the Tag Team titles.
[crowd] One, two, three!
And then we heard Kane speak for the first time without his device.
You don't need this damn thing anymore.
Come on.
Let's hear it without this thing.
Come on!
[all cheering]
Suck it.
[Ross] After Kane uttered his first two words without his device,
then the assault was on.
King, it was The Big Show, and The Undertaker,
and they literally annihilated Kane, X-Pac, and the Road Dogg.
[Lawler] Never seen The Undertaker more vicious in my life.
Look at him.
He was intent on completely destroying his younger brother.
Well, folks, we're gonna have a little change of pace here.
We have the opportunity, courtesy of GTV.
This apparently was taped yesterday involving Mr. Ass
and his favorite part of his anatomy.
You know, what's with the salad?
Ah, those are oriental herbs.
-They make your body really soft. -You know what?
To put some of that on Mr. Ass's moneymaker,
and you know what I'm talking about.
But hey, what's up with the gloves?
Well, Mr. Ass, my worthless human hands are not worthy of touching
your wonderfully robust, smooth, beautiful buttocks.
-You're right. -Oh, God.
Mmm.
[reggae music playing]
[Ross] What do you think of that, King?
[Lawler] He was getting an herbal butt rub or what?
[Ross] There you see Joey Abs and Shane McMahon.
[Lawler] What would herbal leaves on your butt do? Make them soft?
[announcer] Being accompanied by Shane McMahon,
he's a member of the Mean Street Posse,
Joey Abs!
[Ross] We never had a lot of those herbal butt rubs in Oklahoma,
so I'm not real versed in it.
All I know is this, that Joey Abs is the last remaining member
of the Mean Street Posse to stand between Shane McMahon and Test.
That I do know.
[Lawler] All I know is that the posse's motto
is, "Every day, somebody's got to pay."
I think Joey Abs will make somebody pay.
We're being joined right now.
Wow, turn the volume down on this bad boy.
Oh, here you are, right here.
-Lovely. -Look at this.
Joey Abs, yeah!
Feeling the posse.
Big shout-out to the posse who's at home.
Rodney P. Gass, big props.
[announcer] And his tag team partner from Annville, Pennsylvania,
weighing in at 246 pounds,
the Lethal Weapon, Steve Blackman.
[Ross] Blackman last week got another taste
of the world's most dangerous man, Ken Shamrock.
This time, Shamrock came armed with a chain.
[Lawler] I'm going to tell you, this was a disgrace.
I mean, Shamrock, we know, is an idiot.
That was an accident, what happened at the hands of
Steve Blackman when Shamrock sort of got run over.
Don't you think so?
[Ross] You're talking about when Blackman ran over Shamrock in the automobile.
-[Lawler] Yeah, he sort of got run over. -[Shane] It's too bad
this individual coming out didn't accidentally get hit by that car.
[announcer] …making his way to the ring at 282 pounds,
Test!
[Ross] Well, the Mean Street Posse has been besieged with injuries
thanks to the ambush attack from Test.
[Shane] Exactly, ambush. Look at this. Cowardly.
Cowardly as Test goes in to support Pete Gats.
Pete Gats was minding his own business.
[Ross] Three broken ribs and an injured neck thanks to Test.
And Test didn't stop there because last week it was Rodney
who suffered a separated shoulder and a broken arm thanks to Test.
[Lawler] Shane, you see how JR finds humor in the misfortunes of others?
[Shane] I know JR likes it. Oh, my God. Look at that one.
Yo, Test will pay for that.
Guaranteed. Guaranteed.
And this is, I can't think of a better opportunity right now
with Steve Blackman, The Lethal Weapon.
-And Joey Abs. -[Lawler] Uh-oh.
The nutcase.
[announcer] …California, weighing in at 243 pounds.
The world's most dangerous man, Ken Shamrock.
[Lawler] Watch it, he's a nut. Look at him.
[Ross] Shamrock and Test.
-[bell rings] -Together against Joey Abs
-and Steve Blackman. -[Lawler] Oh, oh, oh.
[Ross] I'll tell you, Shane, I'm sure you have realized
there's only one man left between you and Test.
It's your buddy Joey Abs.
[Shane] Look, got him right there. Test got him!
-That's it, Blackman now! -[Ross] Blackman on the outside now.
-Joins Joey Abs. -[Lawler] Shane, what are you doing?
I don't think this is a good idea. What's Shane doing?
Shane McMahon now is attacking Test.
[Lawler] That's for Stephanie, baby.
[Ross] Now Blackman and Joey Abs throwing Shamrock through the steel steps.
[Lawler] That was for Stephanie.
What about Stephanie? What are you saying, King?
-That was for Stephanie, wasn't it? -Absolutely.
Stephanie…
She's a little confused right now. She doesn't know what's best for her.
Just listen to Big Brother.
I said, oh, no.
[Lawler] Thank God Stephanie has Shane to know what's best for her.
[Ross] Why don't you let your own sister make her own decisions?
She's an adult.
[Shane] No, Stephanie doesn't understand. This is a cruel world here.
She doesn't understand what's going on with this guy, Test.
-Oh, man. -[Ross] Swinging neck, back and back.
-Hey, yo, yo, yo, yo. -Watch Shane. Shane back in the game.
And Shane McMahon is absolutely beside himself here.
[Lawler] Don't get him to come over here.
[Shane] Oh, yeah, that's too bad.
[Ross] Blackman and Shamrock hammering each other on the outside. Blackman--
[Shane] Oh! Did you see that suplex?
And that's it, one, two, that's it.
[Ross] Test kicks out, Test not gonna quit.
He's not gonna quit seeing Stephanie. He's not gonna quit--
[Shane] Test isn't gonna have a choice in the matter
as Joey Abs takes care of this problem. Right there, that's it.
Oh, lovely.
-[Ross] Irish Whip, a couple-- -[Lawler] Look out.
[Shane] Oh, a Russian leg. Oh, man.
[Ross] Blackman just drove Shamrock face first on our table here.
[Lawler] That's good.
-[Ross] Blackman with that bag of tricks. -[Lawler] My gosh, here we go.
Things are gonna get really interesting now.
Ah! Look out.
-[yells] -[Ross] Blackman into the table.
-Hey, look out. Blackman, look out. -[Ross] And in the ring.
There's a gut wrench into a powerbomb.
The gut wrench into a powerbomb.
Shane McMahon's got a chair.
And he got hit by Shamrock.
That's the owner of this company. You can't…
[Ross] Shane McMahon got knocked out of his shoes by Ken Shamrock.
[Lawler] I told you, the world's most dangerous idiot.
[Ross] Oh, no. Test now.
[Lawler] Shamrock has just chased Blackman right out of the building. Oh!
[Ross] And now Test at the left hook.
-And Test has defeated Joey Abs. -[bell rings]
[Lawler] Oh, no.
[announcer] Your winner, the world's most dangerous man, Ken Shamrock.
[Lawler] Oh, no. This is not good.
[Ross] Shamrock and Blackman are out of sight.
I have no idea where they are.
And Shane McMahon is making sure he's got some distance between him and Test.
[Lawler] What is Test trying to do here?
He's already broken Pete Gadsden's ribs.
He's separated Rodney's shoulder. What's he going to do?
[Ross] You can see what he's going to do.
Test wants to put Joey Abs out of commission.
-Oh, my God. -[Lawler] Oh, he broke his leg.
I think I heard the ankle snap.
[Ross] Test.
[Lawler] Don't show that. Look at his leg, his ankle flopping around.
-You're gonna pay! -[Ross] Oh, man.
[Lawler] Oh, God.
[Ross] This is not good. Test has gone ballistic here.
Uh…
Well, I'm not a big fan of Joey Abs. This is enough.
[Lawler] This is a side of him I can't look at.
-[crowd cheering] -[Ross] Can you imagine the feeling…
-You're gonna pay! -[Ross] …Test must have
for Shane's sister, Stephanie, to do this, to go through all of this?
-And now, there's no one left… -[Lawler] Get away, Shane. Get away.
[Ross] …but Test and Shane.
[Lawler] He's hurt.
Get out of here. This is more important than you are.
Go on. Get out of here. Okay. Something's wrong.
I'm having a nervous reaction.
I don't know what has been itching my ass all day long.
-What? -You got to-- get on.
-[crowd cheering] -Come on.
-I think it's poison Ivy. -Poison Ivy?
I haven't walking around in the woods.
Do you know… you're a pervert.
-[crowd cheering] -[Ross] Here comes The Rock.
It looks like The Rock has got something else he's gonna say.
[Lawler] Oh, no. What else is gonna happen tonight, JR?
[Ross] He's headed our way.
[narrator] And now, JVC Kaboom! Box, the portable music system
with dual subwoofers and 52 watts of ring shaking power,
presents the JVC Kaboom! of the week.
The Rock and Big Show right out in front of us.
-And what a clothesline by The Show. -Big Show just drilled Rock right out
in front of us. Armageddon has begun, Michael.
-Oh, no. -Oh.
Good night. Armageddon is definitely upon us.
[narrator] That was the JVC Kaboom! of the week, presented by
the ultimate head banging music machine, the JVC Kaboom! Box,
so loud, it hurts.
Test, you said you were going to take out each member of the Mean Street Posse
until you get to Shane McMahon.
It looks like you accomplished your goal tonight.
Listen, Michael, all I ever asked is for me and Stephanie to be left alone,
but Shane and those three little butts in there who didn't want to listen,
so I took matters into my hands, fat ass, three broken ribs, one strained neck.
"Rodney, oh, Test broke my arm with a chair, it hurts."
Tough luck, buddy. And why don't you go on the back,
ask that little beeyatch, Joey Abs, how he feels after what I just did to him?
And you know what, that leaves nobody, Shane, except me and you,
so sleep tight, big brother.
Wow. Impassioned comments from Test.
I know there's something you have to say.
You bet your ass there is. Shamrock, it's real simple.
I'll step into your world, the lion's den, if you step into mine.
And that is weapons all around the cage.
And anyone bad enough to get one can use it.
So, this way, this thing's got to end one way or another.
You smell what The Rock is cooking?
[Ross] Well, I'll tell you though,
The Rock, I don't know what he has on his mind here, but he is--
he is dressed for battle, King, as the great one, the people's champion.
Well, I'll tell you what, it has been a unbelievable day,
an unbelievable night for this MTV week-- WWE week on MTV,
I should say, as we head into Summerslam in 13 days.
-[Lawler] That will be all week on MTV. -[Ross] Yup.
♪ Know your role ♪
And The Rock hammered earlier by the Big Show and…
Big Show, The Rock says seeing as that jabroni you call a partner,
The Undertaker, is booked tonight for a match, that pretty much
leaves you free.
So, The Rock says if you've got any fortitude in them little bitty things
-you call balls… -[Lawler] Uh-oh.
[Ross] Uh-oh. Very personal here.
-It's what this is about. -…then tonight in front of all
The Rock's fans, you will go one-on-one with the great one.
-[crowd cheering] -[Ross] The Rock laying down a challenge
-to the Big Show tonight. -And go on and check your big fat ass
directly into the SmackDown hotel.
[Ross] Big Show is gonna need king-sized bed.
-Wait a minute. -[intense music playing]
[Lawler] Hey, wait a minute. It's that millennium clock.
It's the millennium, JR. Ten, nine…
-[Ross] A countdown… -[Lawler] Seven, six, five,
-four, we're counting down, three… -[Ross] He's here.
-[Lawler] …two, one. -[Ross] We're counting down.
[intense music continues playing]
What?
-[explosion] -[crowd cheering]
["Break The Walls Down" playing]
♪ Break the walls down ♪
[all cheering]
♪ For those about to rock and what ya want Baby you know you're Judas ♪
♪ And I'm your priest Baby what I got is not from the least ♪
♪ Bring it through the stage in the rage of a beast ♪
♪ Step in the arena and break the wall down ♪
Welcome to Raw is Jericho.
[crowd cheering]
[intense music continues playing]
And I am the new millennium
for World Wrestling Entertainment.
[crowd cheering]
Now, for those of you who don't know me,
I am Chris Jericho, your new hero,
your party host, and most importantly, the most charismatic showman
to ever enter your living rooms via a television screen.
[crowd cheering]
-[Lawler] Uh-oh. -And for those of you who do know me,
well, all hail the Ayatollah of rock 'n' rolla.
-[crowd cheering] -Got a nice haircut, I can say that.
Now, when you think of the new millennium, you think of an event so gigantic
that it changes the course of history,
you think of a dawning of a new era,
in this case, the dawning of a new era in the WWE.
-[crowd cheering] -[Ross] The Rock, not impressed.
-[Jericho] Thank you. Thank you. -[Ross] Jericho has got a lot of guts.
And a new era is what this once proud and profitable company sorely needs,
what was once a captivating,
trendsetting program has now deteriorated
into a clichéd, let's be honest,
boring snoozefest that is in dire need
of a knight in shining armor.
-[Lawler] He's talking about you now, JR. -And that's why I'm here.
Chris Jericho has come to save the WWE.
-[crowd cheering] -[Ross] Oh, from what?
[Lawler] I'd say you're gonna get your pink slip.
Now, let's go over the facts.
Television ratings, downward spiral.
-[Ross] Who's he kidding? -Pay-per-view buy rates, plummeting.
Mainstream acceptance, non-existent,
and reactions of the live crowds, complete and utter silence.
And I know why you're silent.
You're silent because you're embarrassed to be here.
-[Lawler] What? -And quite honestly,
I'm embarrassed for you.
And the reason why you're embarrassed is because of the steady stream
of uninteresting, untalented, mediocre sports entertainers
who you're forced to cheer for and care for.
No wonder you're not cheering, you could care less about
every single idiot in that dressing room, and especially this idiot
-in the center of the ring. -[Ross] The Rock is gonna explode
-any minute. -You people have been led to believe that
mediocrity is excellence.
-Uh-uh, Jericho is excellence. -[crowd cheering]
[Ross] Takes guts to interrupt The Rock.
And now, for the first time in WWE history,
you have a man who can entertain you,
you have a man who is good enough
for you, you have a man who can make you jump off of your chairs,
raise your filthy fat little hands in the air, and scream,
"Go, Jericho, go. Go Jericho, go. Go Jericho, go."
-[crowd chanting] -Thank you.
The new millennium has arrived in the WWE.
And now that the Y2J problem is here,
this company from the front office idiots
to all the amateurs in the dressing room, including this one,
to everybody watching tonight,
we'l never, [straining] ever…
be the same again!
-[Lawler] Y2J, did he say Y2J? -[Ross] Yeah, I've heard it.
-[Lawler] The Rock is dumbfounded. -[Ross] He's an arrogant young man.
[crowd cheering]
Uh-oh.
[crowd cheering]
After three boring minutes, The Rock says know your role
-and shut your mouth. -[crowd cheering]
[Lawler squeals]
[Ross] I second that.
How dare you, little jabroni, come on The Rock's show and not even have
the class to introduce yourself?
-What is your name? -I told you…
-It doesn't matter what your name is. -[crowd cheering]
-[Lawler] Uh-oh. -[Ross] He got you.
[Lawler] Oh, boy.
The Rock says you talk about your Y2J plan.
Well, The Rock has a little plan of his own and it's called
-the K-Y jelly plan, which… -[Lawler] Oh, no.
-You know what that is, JR? -[Ross] Yeah.
[Lawler] You do?
[crowd cheering]
You don't clean-- you don't use it to clean pipes, JR.
Which means The Rock is gonna lube his size 13 boot real good,
turn that sumbitch sideways, and stick it straight up your candy ass!
[crowd cheering]
If you smell what The Rock…
[crowd chanting] …is cooking?
[crowd cheering]
…is cooking.
["Know Your Role" playing]
[Ross] Well, The Rock gets the last word over Chris Jericho.
That gives Jericho something to think about for a few days, King.
[Lawler] He's doing more than thinking, he's percolating, he's cooking, he's hot.
["Know Your Role" playing]
Hey, if you see the Big Show, you tell him the big shot is looking for him.
[narrator] WWE referees are trained to be impartial, maintain composure,
and by all means stay out of harm's way.
-Yeah, right. -I have the power.
Jesse "The Body" Ventura returns to the ring for an out-of-body experience.
It's The Body rules. It's my rules or the highway.
WWE Summerslam, presented live by Chef Boyardee,
Sunday, August 22nd on pay-per-view.
The World will get shot.
Hey, if you see the Big Show, you tell him the big shot is looking for him.
[Ross] Well, there's… that's Chyna, who will compete
for the number one contender's slot later tonight against The Undertaker
and Triple H in a Triple Threat Match, King, no holds barred,
falls count anywhere in that one.
[Lawler] I thought from her face she might be having second thoughts
but then that sly little smile appeared there.
I think she's confident.
[Ross] I think she's got something on her mind. And Shawn Michaels…
[announcer] The following hardcore match is scheduled for one fall.
Making his way to the ring from Cobb county, Georgia,
weighing in at 312 pounds, World Wrestling Entertainment
hardcore champion, The Big Boss Man.
[Ross] That no-holds-barred Triple Threat Match later tonight
will feature Shawn Michaels as the special referee.
Now, this is a hardcore rules match but not for the title.
["Oh, You Didn't Know" playing]
-[crowd cheering] -Oh, you didn't know?
Your ass better call somebody!
Shut it down, you're damn right.
We're going back to the future from the days of old.
[Ross] All right. Here we go now. Hardcore rules.
-[bell rings] -[woman] Get him!
[Ross] And The Boss Man and the Road Dogg
one-on-one here. And I'll guarantee you folks,
this has been an electrifying night.
These two men are authorized to use anything including the kitchen sink
-in this hardcore rules matchup. -[Lawler] But don't forget,
it's non-title because at Summerslam,
Al Snow is gonna face Big Boss Man for the title.
-Do you think-- oh. -[crowd cheering]
Wow. Do you think Big Boss Man makes it to Summerslam?
[Ross] That was a shot right to The Boss Man's head by the Road Dogg.
-And, uh… -[Lawler] Cracked his cranium.
[Ross] Road Dogg setting up that table but this ain't for no picnic.
And this crowd has been electrifying here tonight.
[Lawler] They have. I was about to say they've seen it all,
but they haven't seen nothing yet. Uh-oh.
Ooh. Oh, wow.
[Ross] Hard shot right to the head with a steel chair and down goes the Road Dogg.
-[Lawler] Oh, look at that sign. -[crowd cheering]
[Ross] Wait a minute. Oh. Boss Man just rolled Al Snow
-right to that table. -[Lawler] Wait a minute.
[Ross] And Road Dogg, here's…
-Al Snow has got-- -[crowd cheering]
Has he got Pepper in it? Wait a minute.
-There's the cover. -[bell rings]
[Lawler] He pounded him--
-is it Pepper in there? -[Ross] Pepper's in that dog carrier,
-I think. -[Lawler] I hope not.
[announcer speaking indistinctly]
I saw something fly out of there when he-- when Al Snow hit Big Boss Man
and hooked him with Pepper.
It might have been some Pepper poop.
[Ross] Might have been, who knows? But I know this, the Road Dogg just beat
The Big Boss Man in a hardcore rules matchup.
[Lawler] But it was non-title, JR. Don't get so excited.
Non-title.
[Ross] Same steps Austin fell down, waylaid earlier tonight.
Austin has regained consciousness.
-His vital signs are good. -[Lawler] Oh, don't, look, JR,
don't give false hope, they're not coming back.
[Ross] The Rock and the Big Show.
Folks, can you imagine what this is going to be like?
[narrator] No nonsense.
[Austin] Stone Cold Steve Austin is an equal opportunity ass kicker.
[narrator] No bull [bleep].
[Austin] That just ain't gonna happen.
[narrator] Stonecold.com.
[Austin] And that's the bottom line, 'cause Stone Cold said so.
You smell what the Rock is cooking?
[Ross] Well, here we go. We're back live in Chicago.
Jim Ross and Jerry the King Lawler are here at ringside.
And I guarantee you, folks, this is going to be a war in the war zone.
The Rock has challenged the 500-pound Big Show.
And this is going to be a physical battle, King.
[Lawler] You're not kidding.
Chef Boyardee presents 1999 SummerSlam.
Meet the Dee. SummerSlam is just under two weeks away
from the sold-out Target Center in Minneapolis, Minnesota.
[Ross] The fans are on their feet.
We know the fans in Columbia, South Carolina,
will be on their feet on Friday night, the 13th.
That's this Friday night. What about St. Louis coming up
Saturday night in the Keele Center? What an event in St. Louis.
One of the biggest ever in St. Louis is live this Saturday night.
And this Sunday in Peoria, Illinois, a huge live WWE extravaganza.
["Big" playing]
[Lawler] Well, time for the Rock to get shifty with it.
♪ Yes, it's the big man show ♪
[Ross] I'll tell you what, The Rock will be backing up.
[Lawler] That's a big bowl of ravioli right there.
[Ross] The Big Show and The Rock.
We saw the two-on-one attack on Heat on Sunday night, 24 hours ago.
[Lawler] Don't forget the Triple Threat Match coming up next, JR.
[Ross] Shawn Michaels, the referee of that one.
-[bell rings] -And here we go.
The Rock and the Big Show. And the Rock right in the Big Show's face.
[Lawler] Oh, man!
[Ross] And the Big Nasty going…
Head first into the turnbuckle.
The Rock is dominating the early going here.
-[Lawler] He's laying a SmackDown. -[Ross] Look at The Rock at 6'5", 275.
-[Lawler] Man. -[Ross] A Side-butt and leg sweep.
And it could be over. One, two-- No.
The 500-pounder able to get those shoulders off the canvas.
[Lawler] Gonna take more than that to keep the Big Show down.
[Ross] The Rock has a date with Mr. Ass
at SummerSlam 13 days from now.
[Lawler] Whoa.
[Ross] That big 500-pounder went airborne.
Well, that closed line, that forearm, more specifically,
and there's a cover, and The Rock got a shoulder up.
[Lawler] What about last week when Mr. Ass had that video
of The Rock's posterior?
[Ross] Other than it wasn't The Rock's posterior.
[Lawler] Come on, you know it was.
If The Rock's rear end gets any bigger,
he'll have to start wearing a license plate.
-Oh, my gosh. -[Ross] Good job, Henny.
Jump in there any time.
-[Lawler] Oh! -[Ross] What a headbutt.
7'2", 500 pounds,
biggest athlete I've ever seen. Have you ever seen a bigger athlete
than the Big Show?
And when you think about The Rock at 6'5", 275,
looking small compared to The Show.
[crowd chanting] Rocky! Rocky! Rocky!
[Lawler] You're right. It almost dwarfs him.
And The Rock's huge.
[Ross] We had a great night in Detroit last night on Heat,
except it didn't end too well for The Rock.
And by the way, folks, in Detroit, Survivor Series tickets
are on sale now in Detroit.
for the November Classic and the Big Show
just manhandling the rock.
There's nothing finesse, nothing smooth or cohesive about the style
of the Big Show.
-He is a 500-pound human being. -[Lawler] Right.
He just pounds you and wears you down with that tremendous size,
that strength of his.
Look at this.
Oh, man!
[Ross] What a shot by The Big Show, showing some outstanding flexibility
for a man his size, knocking The Rock down.
That must be a size 20 or 22 shoe that The Big Show wears,
that wrestling boot, 23.
And now the bear hug.
And The Rock being held up like a small child by this mountain of a man.
[Lawler] I think The Big Show is intent
on just making a mockery out of The Rock tonight.
He's just wearing him down. Oh!
[Ross] The Rock fighting his way out of the predicament with right hands.
Additional momentum there. Oh, look out.
-[Lawler] Uh-oh. -[Ross] Oh, my!
What a sidewalk slam by the Big Show. The 500-pounder.
-[Lawler] Look, cover! -[Ross] Man, it was almost over there.
And what the hell?
What is up with Hardcore Holly?
-[Lawler] He's a big shot. -[Ross] He needs psychiatric help.
[Lawler] He's been looking for the Big Show tonight.
[Ross] Big Show told him to get his posterior out of here.
[indistinct argument]
-[Lawler] Uh-oh. -[Ross] Look at that…
Just got a headbutt for his efforts.
-[grunts] -And a low blow.
The Rock with a low blow on The Big Show.
-[Lawler] I missed it. -[Ross] The Rock went downstairs
and cuffed him.
The Big Show with a low blow and now a DDT!
[Lawler] It's over.
[Ross] The Rock now will put the Big Show away.
-[Lawler] We're about to see it. -[Ross] The People's Elbow.
[Lawler] The most electrifying--
-[Ross] Wait a minute, there's Jericho. -[bell rings]
Chris Jericho.
And now Jericho distracted. Billy Good's in there now.
[Lawler] Where'd he come from?
[Ross] Jericho distracted The Rock like a nuisance, and Billy Good--
[Lawler] Mr. Ass, do you know?
[Ross] A jackhammer there by Badass Billy Gunn,
the man that'll meet The Rock at SummerSlam.
[Lawler] I think his butt's still itching.
♪ I'm an ass man ♪
[Lawler] Carol asked about Mr. Ass's ass, but I can tell you this about The Rock.
He's laying right now just like he's going to be laying in SummerSlam.
[Ross] What The Rock ought to do,
it looked to me like he was going to put the finishing touches
on the Big Show, then Jericho,
and then emphatically it was Mr. Ass.
[Lawler] Jericho is wrong.
[Ross] Oh, here she comes. The ninth wonder of the world.
Who will be the number one contender for the WWE title?
Could it be Chyna? We'll find out.
[Ross] Man, what a shocker, just moments ago,
it looked as if The Rock had The Big Show down.
Getting ready for the People's Elbow and then out of nowhere,
came Chris Jericho, King.
[Lawler] Right there, just a minor distraction.
Rock should have taken that in stride.
[Ross] Then Billy Gunn took advantage there on the Rock,
thanks to Jericho's distraction.
["The Body Rules" playing]
Wait a minute. What's this?
We are ready for our Triple Threat Matchup.
-Shawn Michaels will referee. -[Lawler] Yeah, but what…
That's Jesse The Body's video.
[announcer] Ladies and gentlemen, welcome this special guest commentator
for this night, Jesse "The Body" Ventura.
[Ross] This is quite teh surprise, King.
[Lawler] He's got a new guest commentator with him.
Well, it's me.
[Ross] Are you gonna just look at folks?
[Lawler] Good idea. We've got a lot to talk about.
[Ross] Right.
That would be a great conversation. It would be a fly on the wall.
[Lawler] We're going to talk about politics.
[Ross] Well, we'll welcome The Body out here.
Hey, once again, have a seat.
Over the, uh…
The Body was with the President of the United States just yesterday,
and we're happy and honored that he's here with us tonight.
Thank you, Jim Ross.
It's nice to be back behind the microphone.
-It feels like old homeroom. -You remember how to do this, right?
[Ventura] I think.
Back in World Wrestling Entertainment, and The Body's back,
and he's going to broadcast the match.
["Who and What I Am" playing]
[Ross] Well, this is a…
a crucial matchup for the number one contendership
for the WWE title at SummerSlam.
The winner of this match will meet the WWE champion Stone Cold Steve Austin,
who is still hospitalized as we speak.
[heavy metal music playing]
-[Ventura] That was nice. -[Lawler] Yeah.
[Ross] Here comes Chyna after Austin was injured at what we think
at the hands of Triple H.
We're not sure. We shouldn't, I guess,
make that allegation, King, but that's what we think.
-[Lawler] We don't know that for sure. -[Ross] I said that. Pay attention.
-["Sexy Boy" playing] -Rowdy fans here.
And here comes the commissioner, Shawn Michaels, who will be
the special referee for this matchup here tonight.
[Lawler] Hasn't he already caused enough trouble tonight?
[Ventura] Remember, what are you talking about, trouble?
He did exactly what I told him to do, Lawler.
-[Lawler] Okay, okay. -[announcer] Special guest referee,
Shawn Michaels!
[Ventura] You know what?
I don't particularly care who wins this match to face Stone Cold,
because my job August 22nd at SummerSlam will be to referee
the World Wrestling Entertainment Championship
of the world, regardless of who the challenger is.
[Lawler] But can you imagine, Jesse, if it turns out to be Chyna in that match?
[on speaker] Is this on?
[Ventura] I'll tell you something, King. She's got bigger arms than you.
[Lawler] Well, yeah.
[announcer] The following is a no-holds barred contest
to determine the number one contender at SummerSlam.
[Ross] Falls count anywhere here.
[announcer] From Greenwich, Connecticut, weighing in at 260 pounds, Triple H!
[Lawler] It looked as if
Triple H was getting a little personal with you earlier tonight,
trying to intimidate you prior to SummerSlam would be my guess.
[Ventura] I'll tell you what, Jim,
you know me well enough that I never got intimidated
during my wrestling career, and I'm certainly not going
to get intimidated now.
[Ross] And here we go. Remember, a Triple Threat matchup.
The first person to score a pinfall for earnest submission wins the match.
Michaels the referee, as we await the arrival of the Phenom.
["Purity of Evil Ministry" playing]
[Ventura] Triple H and Chyna, they don't seem to be getting along.
You know, she took offense to the fact when he called her "just a woman."
[Ross] She sure did.
She's more than just a woman, I'll tell you.
[announcer] …accompanied to the ring by Paul Bearer,
weighing in at 328 pounds, The Undertaker!
[Ross] Triple H bought it fully loaded.
He had the number one contendership in his grasp.
But thanks to Shawn Michaels, that's not the case.
And again, this is scheduled to be the Undertaker, Austin and Helmsley.
But due to what happened to Austin early tonight, someone, we think,
threw a cement block on Austin as he was going down the stairway.
-That's what I'm hearing. -[Ventura] Now, wait a minute, Ross.
-I've seen him guzzle beer before. -[Lawler] Right.
[Ventura] Who's to say he didn't have one too many?
[Lawler] Exactly.
-[Ventura] You don't know that. -[Ross] I don't.
[Ventura] You got to deal with facts, and there are no facts
to indicate anybody did anything to anybody.
[Lawler] Look, did you see that?
[Ross] The Undertaker did something to Triple H.
He nailed him with a right hand, and here we go.
[Lawler] He also shoved Chyna right on her, well, right on her can.
[Ross] Remember, this matchup,
first person to earn a pinfall or submission wins the match.
They'll be the number one contender to meet Austin at SummerSlam.
[Ventura] And right now, Chyna's taking a break.
She's sitting on the mat, and I don't blame her.
Let the other guys slug it out.
You can get the title shot.
[Ross] She may be the smartest person in this matchup.
The Undertaker is an equal opportunity choke slammer.
[Ventura] Unbelievable. Whoa, look at that.
[Ross] Chyna got in the eyes of The Undertaker.
-And now the… -[Lawler] Oh!
[Ross] Oh, my God! The Undertaker with the right hand!
And down went Chyna!
Chyna over the top for the top turnbuckle to the floor!
[Ventura] Chyna's got to realize, you get in there with the big boys,
you gotta take your lumps.
[Lawler] Let me ask you, you're talking about Austin.
You're taking it for granted he'll be all right.
What if he can't come back?
What if he's not there for SummerSlam, Jesse?
[man] Come on, Chyna! You can do it, girl! Let's go!
[Ross] I don't want to even… I don't want to think that
-if we take a look at… -[Ventura] You know, I got to say this.
I don't think nothing will stop the Rattlesnake from being there.
He'll crawl into the ring.
I know him well enough to know he's not going to relinquish
the title on a no-show.
[Lawler] Chyna may have to crawl out of this ring.
[Ross] Remember, both men are outside.
Remember, it's a "falls count anywhere" match.
No disqualifications, no count out, no holes barred
in this Triple Threat Match.
[Ventura] So in other words, all the referee's gotta do
-is stay out of the way and count. -[Ross] You got it.
-[Ventura] That's it. -[Ross] Simple.
-[Lawler] Can he handle that? -[Ventura] I'll say,
when it gets to SummerSlam, that is not gonna be what happens.
[Lawler] Whoa.
[Ventura] That is not… I am not gonna just get out of the way and count to three.
Whoever wins this will face Stone Cold, and there will be rules,
and it'll be wrestling.
And we're gonna find out truly who the wrestler is
that deserves to be the World Heavyweight Champion here in the WWE.
[Ross] Helmsley fighting back. The Undertaker outside,
but The Undertaker got a huge right hand and then knocks down Triple H,
who went into this matchup as the number one contender.
[Lawler] Look at this.
[Ross] Will he come out as number one contender?
[Lawler] Ow!
[Ross] Chyna still down on the outside,
far side of the ring, thanks to The Undertaker.
[grunts]
Falls count anywhere.
-[Ventura] There it is. -[Lawler] Right here.
[Ross] One, two-- Michaels got a near fall there, gentlemen.
[Lawler] You're not going to dress like Shawn Michaels
when you referee, are you, Jesse?
[Ventura] No, I will be wearing normal WWE wrestling…
gear, uniform, whatever you want to call it.
I take this job extremely serious. It's for the world heavyweight title.
[Ross] Have you been training for this assignment?
-Physically training for it? -[Ventura] I've been getting in shape.
You know, a referee's got to be able to move.
You've got to be in position to make the call when it happens
because there's so much riding on this.
[Ross] No doubt the world's going to be watching this.
Your return into the ring.
As an official, do you feel any extra pressure?
Because all eyes are going to be on you, Jesse.
[Ventura] I don't think so, Jim.
It's my job just to maintain law and order and make sure that we get a champion
right in the center of the ring.
Oh, look at that. Oh, he jumped right into it.
[Ross] Helmsley came off and got caught in the giant right hand of the Undertaker.
-[Lawler] Chyna trying to make it back in. -[Ross] Back in. There goes a choke slam.
And the Undertaker got a low blow there from Chyna.
Undertaker couldn't follow through with a choke slam.
I don't know if Chyna was saving Helmsley
or just retaliating against The Undertaker.
[Ventura] I know she does do that rather well, doesn't she?
[Lawler] Are you gonna allow that to happen in the match?
[Ventura] Chyna will not be a factor.
[Ross] That's a tough statement to make.
[Ventura] Well, I'm the one person who can make that statement.
[Lawler] Chyna could be the number one contender.
That's right. That's right.
Yeah. [chuckles] I forgot about that.
[all exclaiming]
-[Ross] Chyna just nailed Triple H. -[Lawler] She definitely did.
-[Ross] Oh, yes. -[Lawler] You see that?
[Ross] Chyna went downstairs on Triple H.
-She wants to be the contender. -[Lawler] Watch your back,
watch your back!
[Ross] Oh, look out!
The Undertaker doesn't care. He is the personification of evil.
Oh, one, one hand.
And The Undertaker with a choke slam, he just dropped Chyna.
[crowd booing]
And now Helmsley with a knee, knocking The Undertaker down.
Well, I'll tell you what, remember the number one contendership
is on the line here.
There's a cover, there's a cover, that's it.
He's got the cover and The Undertaker, boom.
I can't believe that.
Helmsley went right for the cover on Chyna.
[Lawler] I can't believe Helmsley covered Chyna.
[Ventura] He wants a shot at the title.
[Ross] Everybody wants a shot at WWE Gold,
and now the Undertaker backed up.
[Ventura] That's why you got to love it. There's no friends.
Not when the title's on the line.
It's every man for himself, or in this case,
every man and woman for himself.
[Lawler] I can't believe that between Chyna and Hunter there's no friendship.
[Ventura] I got to tell you something, King.
We go back a few years. Did you ever think we'd be watching this?
-[Lawler chuckles] No. -[Ventura laughs]
[Ross] Elbow knocked down by The Undertaker, there's a cover.
Michaels got the count. They got two this time.
[Ventura] We had the memorable match that time in Memphis
and I can't compare Chyna to the San Diego chicken.
Right. [chuckles]
[Ross] Undertaker with a right hand.
-Helmsley is down. -[Ventura] Does Chyna take the chicken?
[Lawler] Oh. Uh-oh, look at this.
[Ross] Down on the apron, she is down again
as The Undertaker measures Triple H with those ham like right hands.
Whoa.
And the Undertaker tried a little intimidation tactics there on Michaels.
I don't think that's going to work either.
[Lawler] Not going to work on The Body.
-[Ross] Hey, wait! -[crowd roaring]
-There's Austin. -[Lawler] What's he doing?
[Ross] Austin's back from the hospital, and he's got a steel chair.
Chyna knocked down.
Helmsley knocked over the top rope by the Undertaker.
[Lawler] Where was Austin? Is he in the building?
[Ross] Austin had a chair. Where is he?
[Ventura] Where, I don't see Austin.
[Ross] Is he coming our way?
[Ventura] All I'm seeing, Undertaker better stick to business,
not worry about the referee.
[Ross] Undertaker having words with referee Shawn Michaels here.
But Stone Cold Steve Austin is back in the arena.
I don't know where he is. We saw him just moments ago.
Oh, here he comes. Here comes the Rattlesnake.
-Here comes the Rattlesnake. -[Ventura] Here comes the world champion.
Apparently, he wants to pick out who he's going to face.
[Ross] Michaels-- Oh, my God.
Oh, through the chair.
Knocking Helmsley out.
And Austin's putting Chyna on Helmsley.
[Lawler] Now, wait, you can't-- Wait a minute.
[Ventura] Chyna.
-[Ross] Chyna's the contender. -[Lawler] What?
[Ross] Chyna's the number one contender.
[announcer] The number one contender at SummerSlam,
the ninth wonder of the world, Chyna.
[Lawler] This is unbelievable.
-[Ventura] Chyna's getting the title shot. -[Ross] I can't believe it.
The Rattlesnake has made sure that Chyna is the number one contender.
[heavy metal music playing]
What the hell is happening here? I can't believe this. e