[Shalini] Friends, the name of this house is Mishra Niwas,
but cheap paint has turned it into a shabby abode.
I'm telling you, he's trying to get back at me.
- What for? - He wants to poison me!
What did you do? Show me.
[slurred] He got me to do a root canal.
You didn't think it was necessary to ask me first?
You should take the couple membership.
That's what Priti ma'am and Prithvi sir did.
This lady is not good for mental health.
[Shanti] Apologize.
[Shalini] Shanti?
If you stand before them and grovel,
they will melt in no time.
Annu brother.
No, just Annu.
Do you remember our neighbor,
Mr. Bhadoria?
He made me an offer for Mom's house.
I'm not going to sell that house.
I apologized for a mistake I didn't even make.
Just yesterday, I handed you a blank check of goodwill,
and today you want to cash it in? Wow.
That is not a wisdom tooth.
- Huh? - That is a low-IQ tooth.
- Uncle, really? Is this the time to joke? - [laughter erupts]
[indistinct chatter]
- [soft mantra chanting] - [distant conch blowing]
- [water pouring] - [bell tolls]
[Aman] Pandit ji, you should have gone into the arts.
[priest] I wanted to, but I'm too old now.
Pandit ji, art doesn't care about age, only people do. [chuckles]
- Come on. - Aman!
- Oh, my mother's here. See you. - Yes.
Yes, Mummy!
- Yes. - You're feeling spiritual today.
Did you do something?
Mummy, you're being judgmental.
Just because boys my age don't visit temples that much?
The priest is always at the temple.
The priest is not a boy. He's a man.
The only male here. Everything else here is female.
In Hindi, devotion and faith are all gendered female.
So are puja, donation box, stairs,
- the bell-- - That one's gendered male.
- [bell tolls] - Fine, that one's male.
That's why he hangs at the entrance.
- You're chatty today. Come on now. - Let me hold the bag.
Being at the temple is so calming.
- Our souls-- - Auntie ji, namaste.
Hi, Surya Narayan.
Boys who hang out at coffee shops are hanging out at a temple!
I have a meeting with a client here.
Hey! Why are you calling your cousin a client?
Mummy, he's talking about his cousin.
We are meeting him here.
You-- You should drop Mummy off at home. Here. Go on.
Mummy, he'll drop you.
Yes. Hop on. We'll get there in five minutes.
It's ten minutes away, so we'll be there in ten minutes.
Okay, ten minutes it is.
Don't start prattling on the way.
Get going now.
Don't worry. I'll be gone and back in… ten minutes.
[car approaching]
- Pandit ji, greetings. - Greetings. You are?
- Ganesh. - [Aman] Oh.
- [tense music plays] - [inaudible]
[inaudible]
[tense music builds, then fades]
[theme song starts]
[theme song ends]
FEMININE - MASCULINE
Okay. Auntie, I'll go back to Aman.
- Sure. Ride carefully. - Yes, I will.
[metal clanking]
[indistinct chatter]
- [distant scraping on floor] - [metal creaking]
- [distant scraping on floor continues] - [eerie music plays]
[Shalini] Steady. Wait. Take it over there.
- Yes, keep going. - [Shanti] What?
- Bittu's Mummy! - [eerie music ends]
- Shalini! - [Shanti] Yes, Shalini.
How did you get in here?
Your main gate was locked.
But the roof was open and so was this door, so we got in!
Why?
[Shalini] The ladies of Sakhi Shalini Mahila Mandal have gathered in my home.
And we want to shoot a video for a government grant.
We wanted some silence,
so we thought, Shanti wouldn't mind!
Yes. Well… Go ahead.
I knew it!
And listen, make an extra set of keys and give them to me.
If you're out again when we want the space,
we can let ourselves in. Right?
- Hmm. - [Shalini] And, Shanti…
please make two cups of strong tea with ginger.
Okay, I'll make some.
[whispers] Listen, talk to her about the money.
- Hmm. - [whispers] Go on.
[approaching footsteps]
Shanti, we were thinking we'll pay you 200 rupees per hour.
[Shanti] What for?
We're using your house almost as an office.
So we thought we could--
I don't want any payment, dear.
No, but you also make tea and all for us.
It's not a problem.
It's all right today,
but next time, just call me before you come over.
I can keep the tea ready. Yes?
Go on. I'll bring the tea.
[Santosh] Sir, we don't have this tea in the office.
Oh, this is mine, not the office's.
- [Santosh] I see. - Chamomile tea.
My daughter Linisha got it from the UK.
Yes.
Where in the UK? Nainital or Mussoorie?
U-- From London, Mishra ji.
Oh, that UK!
Well, I have good news.
Consider your work done.
- What work, sir? - [Pradeep] I mean,
you will be shortlisted for the housing scheme.
- What are you saying, sir! - [Pradeep] Yes.
You just have to keep a few things ready.
Everything's ready. You just have to say the word!
Wonderful! Then listen.
I'll make sure you get on that list.
Once the list is out,
you have to give them a check for ten lakh rupees in the first month.
- Okay. - Okay?
In the second month, a check for 12 lakh rupees.
And in the third month, a check for 18 lakh rupees. Can you do that?
Sir, I did not know about this.
I can withdraw my FD for the first check,
but how can I come up with the rest of the money in such a short time?
You don't have to. The bank will.
With a loan.
The bank will give you a loan. You can pay it back in installments.
- Surely, you have a good CIBIL score. - [Santosh] What?
CIBIL?
Yes… I am civil. You know that.
I'm gathering that.
Here, you can go and meet Girish Tomar ji.
He will take care of your loan.
Thank you, sir.
You have been such a great help.
- I'll always remember this! - [Pradeep] Oh, it's nothing.
- Have the tea. - Yes.
SANKAT MOCHAN HANUMAN TEMPLE
Where's Pandit ji?
I want to ask you that. I've been waiting for so long.
[man clears throat]
Are you parched, Pandit ji?
- I am. Can I get some water? - [man] Yes. Hey!
He's a naughty one! [chuckles]
No problem. Have some honey.
- Honey? - [man] Get it.
Have some honey.
It's only honey, not poison, we're giving you.
Not yet, anyway,
since you haven't fulfilled your promise.
I hope you remember the promise, Pandit ji.
- Ganesh. Hmm. - Pandit ji promised you
- that before the 1st of this month, - [man] Hmm.
Madhav bhaiya and Madhu didi will be joined in matrimony.
Hmm. Do you see us joined in matrimony?
- He's still free. - And why am I free?
[Ganesh] Because your father and her father
- cannot agree on whose caste is greater. - Huh?
But I gave it my blessing.
Oh, no, no, no, Pandit ji. It wasn't a blessing.
You made a prediction…
that no one would come between Madhu and me,
not god or a demon.
Well, your fathers are neither gods nor demons. They're humans.
I don't have a solution to that.
But if they have any side pieces you want to get rid of,
- I could do a puja for that. Yes! - No.
My father could never have a side chick!
Oh, man!
But you will do a puja, Pandit.
To subjugate.
[Aman] Subjugate!
- Who? Madhu ji? - Yes-- No!
You have to do black magic to subdue our fathers.
When did I say I did black magic?
Well, then I'll give you time.
Learn it and help me solve my problem, please.
Please.
What if I can't?
Well then…
Just return the money I paid you, and we'll never see each other again.
[Aman] Okay, I'll give it to you now.
Show me your QR code. I'll send you 5,000 back.
[everyone laughs]
How can we let you go like that, Pandit ji?
Sit down, yes.
I gave you 5,000 rupees,
after which you stopped answering my calls.
So I spent 65,000 rupees to hunt you down.
Wanna see my boys' hard work?
Here, let me read Pandit ji's profile.
Hmm.
"Aman Mishra, son of Mr. Santosh Mishra."
"Mother's name, Shanti."
"Elder brother, Anand Mishra."
"Address, House No. 534, Alley No. 7, B Block."
"Your father works for the electricity board."
"Brother's an MR."
"Brother's address…
Blue Rose Apartment, 4th floor,
- 404, Building B." - That's wrong.
"Brother lives with his girlfriend." Oh, God!
"Girlfriend's name is Satish Negi--"
Satish Negi?
Pandit ji, Satish is a man's name.
- Yes, it's wrong. - What! Ganesh, come on.
Boss, he must be his boyfriend.
His brother lives at the same address.
With a man?
Oh.
My brother lives with us at House No. 534!
His brother's name is on the apartment lease.
Ganesh, brother!
Your ears are too high up from the ground.
You probably can't hear anything when it's windy!
I can't hear anything from here. Say "hello," Madhav bhai.
- Hello! - I can't hear it.
- I was kidding. - Come here, come here.
Come here.
Pandit ji, if anything on that paper turns out to be inaccurate,
I will grab him by his head
and shove him into a beehive.
Boss, I'll take off my pants and sit on a beehive!
I have been tailing him for two months.
[Madhav] So don't try to question our research, Pandit.
Start researching black magic. Okay?
You kidnapped me and are forcing me to do things.
This won't bode well for you.
I am a honey seller.
I don't do kidnappings.
I set out honey traps.
- [tense music plays] - [Aman] Honey traps!
That was a solid joke!
[inaudible]
- [bees buzzing] - [inaudible]
- [tense music ends] - [thud]
- Vani. - [Vani] Yes?
Can you pass the lipstick? It's already faded.
- Here. - Actually, I'd put on a bright lipstick…
Yes, better. All right.
Where's Shanti now?
She's hanging clothes to dry on the roof.
Oh! She spent her whole life doing this,
picking up her husband and sons' dirty laundry, washing them, drying them,
folding them, cooking for them, doing the dishes!
Why are you saying it like that?
Shanti is so helpful.
She helped you so much during the last Mandal meeting.
Yes, she did. She's helpful.
But… out of habit.
It's a tendency.
She can never say no to anyone.
And she's worn down like a bar of soap!
First, for her mother-in-law and her husband,
now for her sons!
We've been neighbors for a long time. We've known them for a while.
When she first came here after marriage,
she was beautiful. Taller, too!
But she has now worn down to this size! [chuckles]
Shanti.
[somber music plays]
Oh, Shanti. How long have you been standing there?
You're shooting?
No, but we're going to start. Please come.
Yes.
Shanti!
You know what?
- I'm going to be interviewed by her. - [somber music fades]
I'm just struggling to remember these numbers.
Could you hold this up for me behind the camera?
I can read them off it.
I'll fold the clothes and join you.
- Can I help you? - I'm good, dear.
You'll fold the clothes in the kitchen?
- [Shalini chuckles] - [somber music plays]
[whispers] See? She can never say no!
[Shalini] Shanti, please hurry.
Sure.
[somber music fades]
[engine revving away]
Yes, Surya Narayan?
[Surya] Why didn't you answer my calls? I've been waiting for you.
Come and pick me up. I'll send you my location.
Yes, I'm coming.
- [all] ♪ Happy birthday to you! ♪ - Look at the camera.
[all] ♪ Happy birthday to you! ♪
- Sir, please cut the cake. - Thank you.
[all] ♪ Happy birthday, Prithvi sir! ♪
[Shashi] It's for you.
Happy birthday, Dr. Prithvi sir!
Stop swinging the rose around!
The poor thing's harmless.
- Like you? - Yes.
You got the rose for the doctor?
Yes, Poonam madam messaged me today
to tell me it's Dr. Prithvi's birthday today.
- Give me that. Sir, happy birthday to you. - [Annu] Okay.
What you're doing with Shashi Ranjan, Shashi Ranjan's doing it with the doctor.
[imitates dog panting]
Good morning, Dr. Priti!
- [imitates dog panting] - You dog!
- [door opens] - [approaching footsteps]
- [Chandan] Make way, please. - Oh, namaste.
Chandan ji,
- you seem busy. - Yes, I'm busy.
Where's Dr. Priti? I don't see her.
She's here, but she won't meet anyone today. Move.
- Make way, man. - [door opens]
[Annu] Doctor, can I help you?
Dr. Priti!
Can I help?
In the last four days, I got about 40 negative reviews online.
About 40?
I never saw that many patients come in.
No, I mean…
clearly, they're fake reviews.
Manohar Rana, one star.
Sumit Saurabh, one star.
Saurabh Sumit, also one star!
Surya Narayan Nirala,
Harivansh Rai Chappan,
Ramdhari Singh Bunker, Dushyant Jalota, all of them gave one star!
This man sounds like a jilted poet! [chuckle]
Or maybe a poetess?
Sarojini Raidu and Sylvia Pathak also gave one star!
I don't even know who they are.
Or when they came here.
Sounds like a bookworm. He must have left in a lot of pain.
You know, one of those novelist types.
Novelist… Must be a failed novelist.
Already, patient density is so low.
And these reviews will scare people off.
What was Aman's feedback? How is he?
Just great! He was praising you a lot.
Says you have a precise touch.
I'll ask him to leave a review.
No, don't force him. He was so scared when he came in.
Doctor, what do you do on Sundays?
Not meet MROs!
Good for her.
Hmm.
I have a suggestion.
If you like it, you can take it. Okay?
I think since you're new in this area,
not a lot of people know about you.
Why don't you run a dental camp on a Sunday?
Free dental camp.
Everyone will come running since it's free.
You can give them free dental advice.
That's it then. They'll go back and tell everyone
about this great dental clinic that's opened
and the great doctor there. Right?
It's not a bad idea, but it's a huge undertaking.
We have to organize so many things to execute this.
We have to advertise it and tell people about it.
It will need a lot of manpower, which I don't have.
But there's Chandan ji!
He's manly and very powerful!
Chandan ji can do it, right?
I mean, ma'am, I could take care of things.
[Annu] And I'll take care of what he can't.
I will not use any resource from Mangala Pharma.
I will not make you compromise your morals.
Just hire a few assistants
who will look after the crowd under your supervision.
Okay, but where will we hold the camp?
- [Girish] Mishra ji. - [Santosh] Yes.
I'll push the loan application,
but your case is a bit weak.
Your profile is not helping your case.
Your salary is too low for a loan of this amount.
And you're retiring in a few years.
And then there's the CIBIL score.
But I should have a good score.
- I have a good standing in society. - [Girish] Mishra ji,
the bank looks at your financial standing.
You must have heard of the term "creditworthy."
Heard of it? I have lived it.
Even if you go looking, you will not find one person
who would say that Santosh Mishra borrowed money from them!
[Girish] That is the problem.
People who have taken out loans get loans easily
because they have shown that they can pay them off.
Look, since you've never taken out a loan before,
our bank cannot decide
if you can pay the loan back or not.
That is pretty strange, Mr. Tomar.
So let me get this straight,
your bank decides how much I'd love my second son
after it looks at how well-loved my first son was.
- Yes. - Now, what if I had only one son?
You won't be able to tell if I would love him enough.
Wow, Mishra ji.
What an analogy!
I'll write it down. It will help me explain it to others.
Explain it to me first, Mr. Tomar.
It'll take Anand some time to get here.
You want to try the PlayStation?
I don't want to play anything with you.
- [Surya] You have the PlayStation? - Aman! Who gave you this address?
What is your relationship with this man?
Are you stalking me?
Whisky on the terrace, PlayStation in the room!
Wow, Annu! Nice!
Why did you leave fake reviews on Priti's profile?
Does Papa know that you have the bottle Uncle Pinky gave him?
Don't you dare blackmail me! I'll break your jaw!
Blackmail?
Do you even care about anyone other than yourself?
I was honey-trapped the whole day! They finally let me go!
[Girish] Mishra ji, what do your sons do?
The younger one's in college, the older one's a medical representative.
So is his salary more than yours?
If your elder son has a better financial profile,
he must have a good CIBIL score.
Because the kids these days use credit cards.
It's kind of taking out loans.
If you make your older son a co-applicant on this loan,
you'll get a bigger loan.
And the bank will consider you more creditworthy.
So talk to your son and make him your co-applicant.
[Aman] I had started dreaming big.
I thought the astrology app was legal,
and it's not a bad thing.
When it helped people, they wished me well.
When it didn't, they booked another 500-rupee session anyway.
Everything was going smoothly.
But then this honey seller came along
and stung my business!
He wants a mantra to subdue people!
You got kidnapped.
That's why I have sympathy for you.
Tell me something.
Have you fallen in love with the dentist?
- Watch it! - [Aman] If you have, it's good.
Madhav, the honey seller, was saying
that you were in a relationship with Satish Negi.
- What? - [Aman] That it's a live-in relationship.
Who is this Madhav, the honey seller?
Tell me where he lives. I'll spit in his honey!
He's a bit eccentric. You don't wanna mess with him.
We came to an understanding.
Really? What did you do?
I'll give him a mantra. What else?
If I can't, I'll give him his 70,000 rupees.
And who'll give you 70,000 rupees?
Hey! Don't even think about it.
Should I tell Mummy how much the PlayStation costs
and how much you pay in rent?
Don't even think about blackmailing me.
I will let Mummy and Papa know all about the scam you're running.
Fine.
I'll save you, you can save me.
Deal? Huh?
- Okay. - But with a condition.
Give me a key to the house.
- I'm your-- - We have no deal!
- I'm your little brother! Come on. - Get lost!
Come on, give me a key. You have such a great view. Such great taste!
Sipping tea here would be so fun.
- I got it for the view. - [Aman] Yeah?
[Annu] Do you see that uncle sitting there?
He's trained a pigeon to soar all the way…
Such an amazing view!
[Vani] Ma'am, you're Sakhi Shalini Mahila Mandal's founder.
What is the main goal of your institution?
Empowerment of women in our country.
There are about 70 crore women in this country.
But only less than 1,000 have been awarded a Padma Shri,
less than 200 have a Padma Bhushan,
less than 40 have a Padma Vibhushan,
and only five have Bharat Ratnas.
And the women were awarded these national recognitions
not for being good wives or good mothers.
But when you ask men to appreciate women in their lives,
they say, "Wow, she's a nice lady."
"She's a good wife. She's a good mother."
And listening to this,
the brilliant women of this country
resign themselves to being someone's wife
- and live their lives in peace. - [tense music builds]
They grind their dreams into chutneys with their mortars and pestles
and happily turn into slaves!
And what titles do they earn for it?
Wife of Mishra becomes Mishrayein!
Wife of Gupta becomes Guptayein!
Wife of Mehta becomes Mehtayein!
And they carry it as a badge of honor in society
and spend their whole lives like that.
And the men who give them these titles
of Mishrayein, Panditayein, and Guptayein,
I ask those very men… I question them,
do they have the courage to say,
"Wow, Mangeshkarayein sang so well?"
Tell me! Tell me, men!
- I ask you, would you-- - Cut!
[tense music fades]
Get rid of it.
Delete it.
What happened, Shanti?
Nothing, Shalini Devi.
You gave a great speech.
But I realize that I'm only a Mishrayein.
I do not give you permission to record this here.
- Did I say anything wrong? - No, no, no.
Bittu's Mummy, you can say all of it again.
Everything you said is right.
But record it in your house, not here.
- Shanti, what are you saying? I-- - Give me the camera.
- I'll delete it. - Hey!
This is the Mahila Mandal's camera.
I'll delete it and send it over.
You can't do that!
What is your problem with my feminism? Leave it!
Don't call your rudeness that, Bittu's Mummy!
I didn't say anything wrong. Everything is true!
And the truth is always bitter
because it's good for you!
But you have become bitter because you enjoy being bitter!
- What are you saying? Leave it! - Yes!
- [narrator] In Hindi, woman is feminine. - [inaudible]
- Argument is masculine. - [inaudible]
Dispute is masculine.
And losing is feminine.
Dignity is feminine.
- An attack on dignity is masculine. - [inaudible]
Forgiveness is feminine.
Compromise is masculine.
- War is masculine. - [inaudible]
And peace is feminine.
[loud shatter]
- Mummy? - Shanti!
[Annu] What happened--
[Shanti breathing angrily]
You're turning away from feminism today.
[Shanti] I'm not turning away from feminism, Bittu's Mummy.
Feminism doesn't shame a Sharmayein or a Mishrayein.
I'm turning your ego away.
[gentle music plays]
[angrily] We will eat later.
I'm going to cool down in the AC.
[narrator] Pride is masculine.
And the mess one's pride makes…
[gentle music fades]
[end credit music plays]
[end credit music ends]