[classical music playing]
[instructor] Come on, you sissies!
[blowing whistle] You're all a bunch of shitheads!
-If you stop, we'll drag you back down! -[grunts]
-[instructor] Come on, come on! -[grunting]
[instructor] You're a fucking disgrace to our gender!
[panting, groaning]
-[shouting] -[both panting]
How did we get here, Luis?
-[gasps] Come on, man, -[Santi] Shit!
-We're almost there. -[shouts] I'm the client!
[groaning]
ALPHA MALES
[chattering]
ONE MONTH EARLIER
-[exhales] -[beeps]
Hey, Santi, what's going on?
What do you mean? We're supposed to meet up.
-Hey, what's up, boys? -You too? Where are you guys?
Uh, yeah, Esther is in Almería for a show, and I'm with the kids.
Sorry, sorry, I'm running a bit late.
-Uh, I'm stuck here. Daniela's upset. -[Santi] Huh?
-She's not lactating. -[Daniela] I'm a shitty mother.
[Patricia] But it's really easy! Let me show you.
Oh yeah?
If no one is coming, I'll go back home. Marimar wants to take me somewhere.
Raúl, I'm already here.
Guys, we should plan to meet up, okay? Otherwise, forget it.
Guys, but, hey, hey--
Thanks a lot.
-Aladdin, the musical. -It was your favorite movie as a kid.
Come on, go get changed. Or just go like that. Whatever. Let's go.
Dad, another time. Hmm?
Sweetie, do you know what I would give to spend more time
with my parents when they were alive?
Leave her alone. Don't be a drag.
It's not her fault you don't have a girlfriend.
What did you buy now? Will you stop spending already?
It's for my new job, you idiot.
-I'm a sex toy tester now. -Oh, cool.
Oh my God.
-I'm off to work. -I'm single because it's a choice.
You're single because that feminazi dumped your ass.
I'm totally over Irene, smart-ass.
Okay, fine. Let's go to Aladdin, the musical.
Yes! Let's go!
Oh! Can we sing along? I remember all the songs still.
I'll go get the car. Come on, let's go. Let's go!
[sighs] You have to tell him.
-[door closes] -[exhales]
[Luz] Are we really gonna live here?
Didn't you call me a freak for living in a hotel, huh?
Between a hotel and this, there must be a middle ground, right?
Yeah, well, I'm not a fan of the middle ground.
-And I'm so far away from the office. -Honey.
You can work from home. Hmm?
-[laughs] Here. I'll show you the pool. -It's fine. I can see it from here.
-The indoor one. -[intercom rings]
-[gasps] Hello! -Hi!
-[both] Welcome to the neighborhood. -Thank you.
We're Jimena, Iker, Vera and Olivia, your neighbors.
-Oh, uh, Luz and Paz. Pleasure. -[both laugh]
Wanna come over for dinner so we can get to know each other more?
-Sure. Whenever you'd like. -[Iker] How's tonight?
-[Paz] Uh… -If you have kids, you can bring them too.
-Darling. -What? Maybe they adopted.
Or did that thing where one of them carried the other's egg.
No, we don't have kids.
-Fantastic. Eight o'clock, then? -[Iker chuckles]
-Okay. -[Jimena] Great, see you at eight.
-[Vera, Olivia] Bye. -[Paz chuckles] Bye.
What was that?
The perverse curiosity of meeting their dyke neighbors.
Bye.
[instructor] Girl, you're lucky your husband is so involved.
Oh no, no, he's not my husband. Just the father.
-Isn't that enough? -[woman] I've separated from mine.
He fucked another woman two weeks after I gave birth.
-[exhales] -Wow.
His excuse. I wasn't giving him the attention he deserved.
[instructor] Hello, everyone, and welcome.
First of all, I'd like to reassure you.
Having problems breastfeeding your son or daughter
is the most normal thing in the world.
You're not failing as mothers.
Or any of those dark thoughts that are going through your heads.
It's natural to feel extra sensitive.
Postpartum is the shadow of the process of bringing a baby into the world.
Each one of you relives the trauma of your own birth.
[chuckles] Well, I see two dads who were considerate enough to join us.
I commend you.
Accompanying your partner is key to the process, okay?
Thank you.
[woman] He's not her partner, just the father.
Well, that's very admirable.
-[Daniela clicks tongue] -[instructor] Let's begin.
Why is it good to breastfeed and for how long?
Don't worry. It doesn't matter if you don't breastfeed.
-This has everything. -Sure.
"Proteins, vitamins."
"Sodium, potassium, zinc."
Pedro, I was the only one. The only one who couldn't do it.
"L-carnitine, choline, taurine."
"Nucleotides, selenium, magnesium."
That stuff is shit. Ugh! You heard the teacher.
-Nothing can substitute for breast milk. -What else is she gonna say?
Oh! Ultra-processed.
Score, two out of ten.
[exhales] Well, don't compare yourself to others.
Or compare yourself, but not just in what's going wrong.
You're very lucky to have support during this process.
Well, don't pat yourself on the back. The baby's yours too.
I know, but I got praised by the coach or whatever she is.
Oh, so I'm here bleeding myself dry,
sacrificing my body and my mental health for our child,
and you want a medal just for showing up? You got balls.
Wait, so now I'm getting scolded for coming along?
Pedro, I don't wanna argue.
Neither do I, but don't take it out on me that you can't breastfeed the kid.
Could you please lower your voices? Rosalinda's already asleep.
Sorry. Sorry. [clears throat]
[Gael crying]
Hey, what the fuck are we doing wrong, huh?
Her baby was born fine, eats fine, sleeps fine.
-Hold him for a while. I need some sleep. -[exhales]
-[sniffles] -Go, go, go.
If he cries, what do I do? Give him a bottle or…
Poor little thing, my love.
-There, there. -So small.
And already being poisoned with red dye 47.
-[Gael babbles] -[clicks tongue, chatters]
All the homosexual propaganda in the media is one big lie
to confuse us.
Just look at the design of the human body.
It's obvious that a man and a woman are made to fit together.
As God intended.
Homosexuality is a disability.
The good news is God can heal perversion.
It can be cured with therapy and a lot of praying to Jesus Christ.
But nowadays, sexual orientations are very fluid, aren't they?
I mean, many studies show that we're all born bisexual.
-[priest] Raúl, why are you here? -Because my wife forced me to.
I'm not gay.
Be honest, Raúl.
Look, a friend came to my wedding without a gift
and insisted on giving me a blow--
But no, I'm not into other dudes. I'm into women.
Only one, my wife, Marimar.
You have to find out what trauma caused your sexual disorder.
Maybe your father beat you up,
or someone abused you when you were little.
I work at a gym,
and I find it very hard not to yield to temptation.
[priest] What you feel is not attraction. It's projection.
Sexual attraction towards someone
of your own sex is biologically impossible.
Well, my ex married a woman.
[gasps] She must have suffered.
It's all clearly explained in my book, hmm?
And I take cash or Venmo.
[Raúl] Do we get a hetero diploma or something at the end of the course?
It's for my wife. She's been a little… distant.
[Marimar sighs] Father, it's just when I see his face,
all those images come to me, and I freeze.
María del Mar, a marriage has to be open to life.
Offer your sacrifice to God.
[groans]
[Jimena] Hello!
-Hi! -Hello!
[Jimena] You look amazing!
-You two are so stylish! Come on in! -Please.
[jazz music playing]
Mm. Great, more wine!
-[men and women chattering] -[Paz] Hmm.
[Luz] Oh!
[laughs] Did they invite the whole neighborhood?
Come on, girls!
[Luz chuckles]
-[woman] Hey! -[Paz] Hello!
-[man] Hey, how are you? -[Luz chuckles]
[Iker] Road trip in an electric car? Not yet.
It took me ages to charge the Tesla on the road to Barcelona.
I go for hybrid.
-[Iker chuckles] -Personally, I ride a motorcycle.
[man] You like women and motorcycles?
[chuckles] Same!
I've thought about working, but when?
I get out of bed, go to Pilates, have breakfast,
then nails, massage, hairdresser.
I have a quick lunch, go shopping, the kids come back from school.
-And the day's already over. -Of course.
And why do I invest in my body? So I don't have to work.
I'm a lawyer. I have a law firm with Paz.
My husband even set up an organic cosmetics business for me,
but I never go.
-No, I do go. -[woman] Why?
She doesn't have children. Hmm.
[woman] Oh, lucky you!
I hate my own kids, and the stepkids are a nightmare.
[woman 2] Oh, hey, have you thought about doing that thing where one
carries the other's egg to term?
[chuckles]
-How could you do this to me? To me! -[cup rattles]
[gasps] How could you do this to your sister? Your own kin!
I wish it weren't true.
I wish I could tear this reality from my entrails
and hurl it into the abyss, but I am not strong enough.
How long have you been betraying me?
It happened once, just once, all right?
[gasps] But it was enough to sentence us to this love that's all-consuming.
Silence! I can't bear so much pain!
I don't want to hear another word!
You have to hear it. I am carrying your husband's child.
[Esther gasps]
You are no longer my kin.
-[sobbing] -You are only the echo of a lie.
[gasps]
[scattered applause]
[Esther exhales]
Oh! Quick!
-[grunts] Shit. -[cell phone ringing]
[gasps] What is it, Luis?
[Luis] Well, one of these weekends, I'd like to have dinner with my wife.
I know. I miss you too. Are the kids all right?
Well, they're great, doing their own thing.
How's it going in Almería?
It's going great. It's a huge success.
-Was there a big audience? -I just said it was a huge success.
-What time do you get back? -I don't know. When I get there.
Do drop-off tomorrow. I have a doctor's appointment.
Okay.
I've been on it all week because of your rehearsals.
It's your fault for screwing up Alpha Males.
It was Pedro. How many times do I have--
[Esther grunts, exhales]
-Tell me if you get tired. [grunts] -[engine turns over]
Wow! That was amazing.
The music, the dancing.
How did they do the flying carpet thing?
-Come on, the plot is so sexist. -Aladdin?
[Álex] He's a manipulative liar, and she's a spoiled brat.
Why can't she be the one who finds the lamp and saves the guy, huh?
Because they don't want an empowered woman.
I mean, the empowered one is the genie.
Why not a female genie?
Huh? Well, um, what mattered was to spend quality time together.
You don't realize it now, but when you're older, you'll say--
-Give me your phone. -Huh? What for? No. No more Tinder, no.
I installed an app that will blow your mind.
-Meet Lola. -Lola? Who's Lola?
-Hello, Santiago! -[Santi] Hi, Lola! Uh!
Shit. Hey, look, I'm very sorry about this,
but that was my daughter's idea, all right?
I'm at a stage in my life right now where I'm just not--
She's AI.
-[laughs] -You serious?
Wow, it's very realistic, huh?
You two are already dating, but you can also chat first
and ask her out later.
The more you talk to me, the more I'll learn about the things you like.
And she'll never dump you as long as you pay the subscription.
Oh no, no, I do not want any more women in my life, real or fake, okay?
[groans] Why did you put this thing on my phone?
Mm. You look a little bit lonely, and I thought--
Lonely? I'm doing great.
And the advantage of being single,
apart from not getting my heart broken, is to have more time together.
Mm, right, but I wanted--
It's true that before we had more of a hierarchical relationship.
But now you're an adult, and we can be buddies, right?
Well, I mean, I'll always be the parent, obviously,
but… [sighs]
Álex, you're the love of my life.
But, Dad, I'm moving out.
At least you have Lola.
[Lola chuckles] Do you prefer sushi or pizza?
[Santi] Huh?
[Raúl] Honey!
I'm cured. I feel totally hetero--
What's all this?
Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm!
-[Raúl moaning] -[panting]
[Raúl grunting, groaning]
Why did you do that?
[groans] I'm sorry. Force of habit.
Oh, okay, force of habit.
Well, since getting married, we hadn't, you know… consummated.
What if the Lord wanted to give us a child, huh?
Who are you to interfere with God's plan?
A child? Already?
Raúl, if you don't accept the part of me that needs to reproduce,
you don't accept me.
-I feel used now. -[sighs]
Oh no, honey, give me a couple minutes, and we'll go for another round.
[exhales] Marriage is so confusing. [clicks tongue]
You left me stranded with that gang of spoiled princesses.
-I had a good laugh. -[cell phone chimes]
No way. I've been added to their Pilates group chat.
See? They're nice.
What are all those shoes?
Oh yeah, you didn't have enough to fill your dressing room.
It looked a bit sad.
-Paz, you have to stop buying me things! -[chuckles]
It's barely anything.
[clicks tongue, scoffs]
[Paz moaning softly]
Honey, tomorrow, I have to get up an hour earlier to go to the office.
Oh, sure, now that we're married, we have to wait until Saturday. Hmm?
Okay, stupidhead.
[both moan softly]
[Daniela snoring]
[Gael fusses]
[Pedro exhales]
-[Gael crying] -[gasps, hushes]
Shh! Shh! Hey, hey, hey. Shh! Shh!
Let me try again, Pedro.
-Daniela. -[Daniela] I want to.
[sighs] I need some ibuprofen. I have a raging migraine.
Another migraine? Go see a doctor. Don't pass anything onto the baby.
-That's the last thing we need. -[Pedro sighs]
[Daniela sighs]
Let's make it work, okay, Gael? Please.
-Why don't you try and latch on this time? -[crying continues]
-[vibrates] -[Pedro exhales]
-Something wrong? -[Daniela] Can you bring up a bottle?
[exhales]
[door closes]
[groans]
-Don't you dare fall asleep! -Just five minutes.
-[phone rings] -[Luis grunts]
-Fuck! -Come on, I'm going to the doctor.
[groans] What's wrong with you now?
You have to get a colonoscopy at 50 years old.
You're only 48. Don't be so dramatic.
Ah, if you don't do it, you'll regret it.
[sighs] They're old enough to go to school on their own.
[kisses] See you later.
I need to sleep, please! [sobs]
[huffs]
-Do you work part-time these days? -Raúl, what do you want?
Nothing. I got you a wedding gift since I didn't get invited.
"Overcome Your Homosexuality. The Path to Healing."
-Your dad hit you when you were little. -Oh, come on, really?
Your pain is so clear.
-Homosexuality is a disability. -[scoffs]
God designed men and women to physically fit together.
Amazing! From hetero-curious to homophobic.
-Hmm! -It's not homophobia. It's biology.
Latex penises don't work.
Paz and I don't need penises. Don't be phallocentric.
Then what do you use?
Tell me this, if God designed us to fit together,
why did he put our clitoris on the outside and your G-spot on the inside?
Uh, no idea. Maybe it's in here.
If God exists, he wants us to be bisexual.
-So you're actually happy? -Very.
So am I!
She called me homophobic and phallocentric.
-Whoa! -And said they don't need a penis.
Raúl, sex is not just penetration.
Yeah, yeah. But it is about that.
-Move! Álex is leaving home. -Congratulations.
I thought the kids these days lived at home until 35.
But what's the problem? She's grown up, mission accomplished.
-Live your life. -I'll be alone. Well, even worse.
With Blanca. Alone and in bad company, all at once.
-You'll find a girlfriend, Santi. -I don't want to.
You don't want a girlfriend, don't wanna be alone. What do you want?
[Irene] Santi?
Hey. Hey, Irene.
What a coincidence, right? Is life trying to tell us something?
-Well, this is Jaime. -Hey, guy.
[Santi] Oh.
They gave us the court next to yours.
You're hitting it too? The padel, I mean.
-Just starting. Hmm. -Hmm.
So how are things? How's Álex?
-[Raúl] She left home. -[Jaime] Honey, they're waiting for us.
Well, maybe when I've improved my strokes, we can play.
[Raúl] Sure, of course. Smack that thing.,
-See you later. -"Honey"?
Santi, that relationship's impossible. But there's a silver lining.
You'll be in love with her for life.
Hey, just trying to reframe it nicely.
Where is Pedro?
Doctor, I'm… exhausted and in a bad mood all day long.
I get migraines, and I have a bad temper, which isn't like me.
Also… [clears throat]
I don't know if it's me, but, um…
[whispering] …I feel like my breasts are bigger.
Show me.
Postpartum depression? You?
The doctor said I need an hour a day for myself to disconnect from the baby.
Wonderful. And when do I get to disconnect?
Daniela, it's important to take care of the caregiver.
I had no help during my sympathetic pregnancy.
-Your sympathetic pregnancy? -I didn't have my own doula.
Your dou-- [scoffs] But wait. What type of doctor was it?
The type who's opened my eyes to the truth.
So, the sooner I start the treatment, the better.
I'm going for a walk.
Great. It's such a nice day. So take Gael with you on the walk.
-[Gael cooing] -Daniela.
An hour to myself.
Okay, so show me one stretch mark or hemorrhoid,
then we'll talk about your sympathetic pregnancy
and your postpartum depression.
Postpartum--
[exhales]
-Was that okay? -[gasps] Yes, yes, Gemma.
That was great. [clears throat]
-Should I switch gears? -Whatever you want. Go ahead.
I'm in second gear now. Third's too much, right?
-[tires screech] -[Esther gasps]
[women screaming]
What did you do?
[gasps]
-[man] Ma'am, you okay? -[shouts, gasps]
[crowd clamoring]
-What happened? -A staged accident to claim insurance.
-She was sleeping. -Gemma, stop lying.
Your eyes were closed.
[scoffs]
-Come here. -But the airbag didn't even go off.
Esther, you can't go on like this. We all have our dreams, and I support you.
-No, you don't support me. -Listen.
It's great that you wanna be an actress, but at what cost?
[cell phone rings]
-Luz. -[Luz] What are you doing? You working?
No, I'm done for the day.
Hey, buddy.
Come. [kisses]
-[clicks] -[TV playing]
Holy shit! What about your shift at the hospital?
I quit.
-What do you mean you quit? -Mm. I've taken a leave of absence.
I wanna put all my energy into saving this marriage.
[exhales]
Oh, brilliant.
-Honey, you're my vocation. Mmm! -Ow.
-Hold on, hold on! [grunting] -Don't pull out!
-[shouts] -Don't pull out! Don't pull out!
-[Raúl panting] -Hmm.
[sighing]
[Marimar panting]
Isn't this forcing God's hand?
Shh! It feels so nice.
-[Raúl] Oh. -[panting]
-Help your daughter. The box is heavy. -Irene's posted a photo with Jaime.
I thought she didn't want anything serious. Oh.
She didn't want anything serious with you.
-[both grunt] -Dad, you were "the one before the one."
-Go on. What's that? -A classic "bridge relationship."
She got burnt out by the bastards she fell for, but who didn't treat her well.
And because you're a nice guy, you softened her heart.
Then she moved on to another guy who'll mess her up again.
Congrats. That's for deconstructing yourself.
-Let's see if it fits. -[grunts]
-All right. -Take care of her, please, okay?
No drugs, hear me?
-Dad, enough. Come on. -Sweetie, I'm really gonna miss our chats.
I'm moving downtown, not to New Zealand.
But, hey, Álex, this will always be your home, okay?
You're helicoptering. Back off.
[Álex grunts]
-[Santi] Your seatbelt, sweetie. -I'm on it. [scoffs]
[engine turns over]
Okay, that's it. We've done our job as parents.
Aren't you ashamed? Your daughter became independent before you.
I have testing to do.
[exhales, groans]
[Blanca moaning]
-[exhales] -[moaning continues]
[Santi groans]
-[moaning continues] -[exhales]
Hello, Santiago, how are you doing?
Bad. Lola, very bad.
Tell me, honey, what's happened?
[exhales]
Let's move on because I wanna lock down the casting--
Pedro Aguilar is here.
-Let him in. -Pedro, come in, please.
[laughing] Hey, how are you, ladies?
I was in the neighborhood and thought, "I'll introduce them to Gael."
You could have sent a video.
-[Bea] So cute! -[chuckles]
He doesn't look much like you.
[inhales] Yeah, uh, how are you? How's everything going here?
Good, very good. Working on the casting for Harassed.
Ah. It's already been approved?
And written.
All of it? Uh, I only received the pilot.
Ali's gonna be the project's executive producer.
Okay, well, in case you would like me to give you some notes.
-[clears throat] Or ideas for the casting. -[clicks tongue] No, no.
We know that paternity leave is sacred and must be respected.
[splutters] Honestly. I don't mind, really.
Know anything about the second season of Alpha Males?
-It's written as well. -Already?
-Yeah, it turned out great. -But come on, I'm the showrunner.
[chuckles] Pedro, you need to enjoy these moments.
They go by fast, and you won't get them back.
-Work-life balance, Pedro. -Exactly.
Oh. [gasps]
[Gael cries]
[Esther] Are you kidding?
-If you scream, it echoes. -Is there a wine cellar?
And an indoor pool.
You must have done something fucking great in another life, unlike me.
I mean, Paz organized the honeymoon
and took me to the Maldives without warning.
She set up a law firm with me, then said I didn't have to go.
Yesterday, she filled my dressing room with shoes
because she-- she said it looked sad.
You bitching or rubbing it in my face?
-I feel like I'm in a golden cage. -Mm.
I'll swap you. Your golden cage for my shit cage.
It's my dream to be a kept woman.
-Mmm! -Wasn't it to be an actress?
Where's the sauna?
-[vacuum cleaner whirring] -[TV playing]
Stop, Dad, I can't hear!
Hi.
[whirring stops]
Are you hammered right now?
Oh, Luz offered me champagne in her indoor pool.
And you drove in that state?
Luis, I've been thinking about what you said.
And you're right. Mm.
I can't be both an actress and a driving instructor.
I'm gonna quit. [grunts]
-Honey. -[both] Mm.
Oh, as a hobby, it's fine,
but maybe you can just take some theater classes on the weekends, right?
Or help the kids with their end-of-year play?
No, no, no. I'm gonna quit the driving school.
-[Luis] Huh? -Yeah.
Well, you can't pursue a dream part-time, can you?
So I'm a full-time actress now. Since you support me.
-Mm! -I support you, but we have bills to pay.
If you're brave, life will reward you.
I'm gonna lie down, okay? I'm overdue for a nap. [gags]
Oh God. [groans]
We'll split it four ways, so it'll be affordable. Hmm.
We'd have one key each. It'd be our secret.
But why the hell would we rent an apartment?
Because Batman had a cave, Superman had a crystal palace.
-And The Avengers, a whole building. -[scoffs]
And we have bars.
-You want a bachelor pad? Pay for it. -It's not for fucking.
-[Luis] Well… -Not only for fucking.
Boys, we need a place where we can relax.
A safe space where we can feel free to be sexist.
I'll bring the PlayStation Marimar took away.
Just play when she's at the hospital.
No, she took a leave of absence to try and save our marriage.
-I'm her vocation. -Esther quit her job too.
She wants to be a kept woman?
-Worse, an actress. -Well, basically, it's the same thing.
[Santi exhales]
Look at him. Man! You're alive.
Pedrito, how about renting a place for the four of us, like a Batcave?
Yeah, sure. I need to take some me time.
-I'll send the link. -[Luis] What's wrong?
Postpartum depression.
In a guy? Is that a thing?
The doctor told me it's very common now that men are more involved in childcare.
Are you happy now?
I told Daniela, and she got angry.
[Santi] Well, imagine if you deformed your body to give birth.
Your hormones would be all over the map.
This guy whines when all he did was come inside of you.
Yeah, but women, they are designed to handle it.
-Uh, we men are made for the other things. -For example?
Hmm. Hunting?
Look at this. He's falling asleep now, little bastard.
-Oh, Gael. Can I hold him? -No, I'll kill you!
Gael Galván. Lots of "G's," huh?
I can't argue about everything. I have to pick my battles with Daniela.
[Santi] He's so cute!
And so soft.
[sniffs] Mm. And he smells so good.
[chuckles] You wanna eat him?
Marimar wants one too. She's forcing me to come inside her.
[sighs] Well, you did marry a Christian.
You want a baby with Marimar? Are you crazy?
Well, at her age, it's super difficult.
Mm. Actually, no, no, no, no.
I had a great-aunt one time who had twins at 49. Mm-hmm.
That's messed up.
[Santi] During perimenopause, the woman's body releases
all these remaining eggs, like, all at once, you know?
-Like a grand finale. -[Pedro] It's totally worth it.
[sighs] I feel blessed.
[sighs]
[Santi] I want to adopt a baby.
A teeny-tiny one. The younger, the better. [chuckles]
[chuckles] On your own?
Yes, as a single parent. It's common these days.
-Uh, what about your age? -[chuckles]
-You might be a little bit too old for a… -No, I'm 45.
But I look much younger.
And I'm deconstructed. I have a diploma.
Are you sure you want to? Adoption is a lifelong commitment.
I'm sure. I'm sure. Let's do it.
Aren't you a bit too young for a vasectomy?
No, no, no, no, no. Hard to believe, but I'm already 48.
Are you sure? It's a lifelong commitment.
Oh yeah, I'm sure. Vasectomy me.
[classical music playing] my me.