Gafoor
Gafoor bhai!
Gafoor
Gafoo--
I spent years sneaking around like a criminal,
and this guy comes in screaming, "Gafoor! Gafoor!" like an asshole!
Is he an idiot?
Bhai.
He was an idiot.
Yeah!
Cool, bhai. Totally.
Gafoor
Fuckin' number one
Like a phoenix I rise again
I can't stop, I'm in overdrive
I'll make the whole world say my name
No I have never felt more alive
I don't really care
What you say
The throne is mine
You've gotta kiss it goodbye
They say I'm bad I'll have to change my ways
But these habits of mine Will just never die
Here we go again
Ain't no way I'm done
The whole world in my hands
I'll be fuckin' number one
Yeah, I'll be fuckin' number one
You know I'm fuckin' number one
Talking to Freddy is not an option.
Thanks anyway.
Sign this.
Good God.
-How did-- -Let's see.
I just had to ask him nicely.
Dude, are you serious?
You crazy-ass. How did you manage that? Are you kidding? I can't believe this!
Oh!
Wait.
You're tickling me.
-Hey, moron! -Stop it!
This isn't okay. You'll go to jail.
Hey, would you chill out?
Where's the pen? Give me a pen. I'll sign it.
Pen, uh…
Seriously, again?
What kind of manager never carries a damn pen?
Can you even use a pen?
I can use a pen better than you.
Forget the fucking pen, you two!
Come on! Let's go celebrate, you assholes. Let's pop some bottles.
Aha!
-Let's go, champ! Yeah, Uncle! -Finally.
Get in here.
Aasmaan.
How about you hit up your pal?
Look how cute his smile is. That smile.
You're coming too, kid.
Karishma?
Why are you sitting there like a '90s villain?
Where are you going?
I'm going out for drinks.
With?
With some friends. Aasmaan and all.
Sorry, my love. You can't.
-Why not? -It's not what you think.
I've called Sameer for dinner. He's on his way.
You should have told me earlier, then, Papa.
After I saw that video, I got so upset, and I figured…
But it's okay.
You go out and have fun.
And don't worry. I'll tell him you're busy.
No, it's… it's fine. Tell him to come.
Love you, sweetie.
Love you too.
Yes, Uncle?
Come over for dinner.
Uh, actually, Uncle, I already ate.
Then eat again.
Ah… ah…
Good boy.
I'm so sorry, Aasmaan. I can't make it tonight.
-Something came up with my dad, and-- -That's fine.
I'll see you tomorrow when we go over our scene work.
Okay. Pick me up at eight o'clock.
We can go rehearse at Boho.
See you tomorrow.
Sounds good. Bye.
She said no?
She's not coming, dude.
She's never coming.
Hey, a fancy chick like Karishma drinks at other spots.
On the other side of Bandra.
Hi.
Can I buy you a drink?
Sorry. I don't drink.
Hmm. Your loss.
One sec! Are you fuckin' insane?
Dude, that other drink is out of your price range,
and this drink is here, so chug her down. Two shots, please.
So many girls. Make some love, baby!
Yeah. Yeah!
Bro, look. Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on!
She's LGTV.
LGBTQ.
Dude. So what if she is?
That's her choice, okay?
The disappearance of exec Cyrus Sodawallah,
twenty-six years ago, was, of course, the reason his son,
Freddy Sodawallah, took the reins of the company.
However, as of late, despite raising substantial funds
from the Chintamani Group,
Sodawallah has been unable to deliver any successful films.
And after 45 years in business, the company is on the verge of bankruptcy.
It is the end of an era.
When will you be vacating the premises?
I need the space.
I'm gonna sell candy here.
I technically have three days before they take the company.
How much can you do in three days?
A lot more than you've done in your lifetime.
Oh, yeah?
Like?
Put my legs up on the desk.
How dare you!
Who the hell do you think you are?
You lost my money, wasted my time, and fucked up your father's reputation!
Hey! Freddy! Motherfucker!
Hey! Let go of me, asshole! Hey!
I'll kill you, Freddy!
I'm gonna fucking destroy you, motherfucker!
-Check back in three days. -Damn you!
Fuck off!
Didn't you say you were looking for something new?
I found this song unconventional, but with traditional roots.
Sir, all over the country, it's viral. The song is huge.
Basically, Punjabi rock with a modern twist.
Hmm. Interesting. Who made it?
Uh, Adam and Avtar.
Avtar? Who the fuck is Avtar?
Walking down the street
When you look me in the eye
You asked me if I was okay
If I was gonna cry
I looked at you, then I said
It's okay, it's all in my head
Do you wanna know
What's really on my mind
You have no idea
What my intentions were
The world disliked me
And I disliked the world
Hey, you have no idea
What my intentions were
The world disliked me
And I disliked the world
I have a heart of stone now
That's what the Lord has destined
I don't care anymore
I don't live in fear anymore
This is a selfish world
No one cared about me
I've forsaken everyone
I shoved away the world and moved on
There's something near, I can feel it
A radiant light, shining gracefully
I feel the divine grace of the Lord
Bestowed upon me
I'll break every barrier
I'll turn the way of the wind
I'm riding high on my victory
You have no idea
What my intentions were
The world disliked me
And I disliked the world
Avtar!
Oh, jeez, man. Who died?
-Guess what. -Huh?
I spoke with the Dharma office today.
Aasmaan got a new movie?
No, but you might have.
Yeah?
Karan Johar wants to meet the two of you guys together.
-Do you mean it, Sanya? -Mm-hmm.
Fuck yeah!
Guys! Guys!
It's a meeting. All right? I haven't confirmed anything else.
Hey.
How do you know it's just a meeting?
I'm off the meds in two months.
The doctor says I'll be fine.
I can even still drink a few beers a week.
Oh, yeah?
The doctor said that?
Yeah, right. He's getting a drip of whiskey, straight to his liver.
Neeta, get me one of those things too.
Hey, Rajat!
How do you like needing money?
Oh, like you're a millionaire.
The money's all about to rain down, brother.
Why? You gonna rob someone?
-Karan Johar wants my song. -We locked the deal.
Your brother is on fire over here!
Holy shit!
-That's so badass! -To hell with Neeta and the doctor.
You owe me a drink, buddy.
Uh-huh. I'm paying.
-Uncle. -Thanks, guys.
You're the best.
Golden Jubilees, running around trees,
no script,
and no fucking wig!
I miss those days, Ajay.
Me, too, Hansraj. Me too.
You know, that's the problem these days.
What?
"Me too."
Because, obviously, we had "me too" in our day,
but it was… different.
I'd fuck a girl, and then a whole lot more
would be lined up outside my room screaming,
"Me too, Hansraj! Me too!"
That's over the line, man. You really can't say that stuff out loud.
You'll be canceled.
Let them fucking cancel me, then.
At least I'll make headlines.
You're crazy.
Not everyone gets to be Ajay Talvar, bro.
I just don't get it. You were surrounded by girls, and you stayed clean?
You had women throwing themselves at you.
But you've never even looked at any other woman but Anu.
All the good ones were already waiting outside your door.
What else could I do?
You're trying to play it cool, you shit.
Now you're gonna spout some corny dialogue,
like, "True love is true love."
"The heart wants what the heart wants,
and there's nothing more powerful in this world than love."
But let me tell you, buddy.
There's just no substitute for a good old fuck!
I miss sex, man!
Hey, so this time, maybe
I'll ditch you.
Okay, then.
Bye.
Hang on.
I'm already here. Let's do this.
Fine.
Where are you two going?
-Hi, sir. -Hi.
Just stepping out.
We have some homework.
Homework? Then why not do it right here?
Papa, Karan has sent new pages to learn by tomorrow.
We're going to Boho House for rehearsal.
What's Boho House have over this place?
Great view, uniformed staff.
And Gauri Khan did the interior design.
-Come. -Sir, we don't wanna bother you.
Please, we'll be home by midnight.
Thirty years of experience at your service, guys.
Come. Come in.
Papa, you don't have to do this.
If I'm not cool to my own kids,
why did I become a superstar at all?
-Hey, Ajay! -Hey.
Thanks so much, buddy. What a great party.
Anytime. Anytime.
-Good night, Karishma. -Good night.
Have a good night, Sameer!
You too, sir.
Yeah, me too.
Me too.
Lallan, get the car.
You came in a cab tonight, sir.
I did?
Um, the first draft didn't have a lot of these scenes.
It's a new draft. It's way cool.
Yeah, but this is too much.
Basic love scenes.
Nobody runs around trees anymore, Dad.
You like this house?
Yeah?
It's here because I ran around trees.
-Yeah. -Okay, seriously.
-I have an early morning tomorrow. -Who's stopping you, sweetie?
Come on, Aasmaan. Go ahead.
Fine.
So…
that's… probably the best sex I ever had.
I know.
And I'm just getting started.
Ajay, sir!
-Hey, what? -Hey!
-Wait! Wait! -Wait! Wait!
-Stop! No! -Hang on! Stop!
Ajay, sir!
One photo, sir.
Only one photo, sir, please!
-Oh my God. Sir, please! -Sir!
Just one picture. I'm begging you!
One photo with you. Please. Just one photo.
Shut your mouth.
This is not how you ask for a photo.
Sukhi.
-Yes, sir. -Oh no! Hey, I didn't know--
-Don't throw me out! Sir. -Quiet. A photo's all you want?
-Uh-huh. -Get your cell phone out.
Sukhi, take it.
Good one.
Okay.
Thank you so much, sir.
Don't ever do this again.
-I love you, sir. -You're lucky you weren't hurt worse.
Sukhi, take him to Dr. Agarwal.
Okay, sir.
And the fence, get it fixed.
Okay, sir.
It's insane, sir, the love people have for you.
But love can be a dangerous thing.
Sorry about my dad.
He was being so weird.
No problem.
He's the reason we're off book. See ya.
Listen, I'm having a party.
Oh, yeah?
Well, have fun with that.
I'm inviting you, you idiot.
I figured.
Birthday, right?
And no entry without a gift.
So you'd better put some thought into it.
Will do.
Okay.
-Bye. -Bye.
Bye, bye, bye. Toodles.
-Oh dear. Mm. -Killer marketing strategy, Karan.
I mean, using the Heimlich maneuver to sell a love story?
Now that's a maneuver.
It wasn't. She was really choking.
-Yeah. -Don't lie to me.
From one genius to another?
Oh, Ajay.
Ajay would have flipped. Please tell me what his reaction was.
-I will right now. -Yeah.
Surprise.
Hey!
What a surprise! Ajay, sir!
Always surprising me on my set!
Uh, you're always welcome.
I… I'll… I'll go do the final checks. Final checks!
Shithead.
Ajay, what's up?
This is earlier than when you show up for your own gigs.
Well, those scene rewrites.
Glad you liked the script.
The intimacy, Karan.
It's too much.
Ajay, Ajay, Ajay. No one runs around trees anymore.
And Karishma's important to me as well. Don't worry about it.
How can you say that? It's my daughter's first film, Karan.
I get it.
I get it, but… it's my movie, man.
Let me make it my way. Huh?
Mm. You already know that nobody…
nobody makes love stories better than--
Karan Johar, ladies and gentlemen!
You've heard the name, right?
Fucking asshole.
Where'd you go?
I went to meet Karan.
You're overthinking this because she's a girl.
How many kissing scenes have you done? Hmm?
Just twice, Anu.
Oh, please. You had two in Sailab alone!
Why are you taking your shoes off?
The thing at the Sinhas? You're not coming to plan Karishma's birthday?
Go ahead. I'm gonna stay.
Whatever. Behave like Shaumik.
I'm going.
No way!
Hey, dude. Be smooth for a good mood.
This is cheating though.
Mansmooth lotion should be your only choice,
or your girl might leave you.
Slimy bastard.
Anu, wait. I wanna go.
You changed your mind? Why is that?
I need to talk to Sameer.
Sir? Sir?
Coffee.
Perfect.
Thank you, Jeejeebhoy.
Now everything my father did,
everything I did…
everything we did.
It's all gone.
You can go too.
Leave me here alone.
Sir.
That's my final order.
Yes. Yes, sir.
It's a miracle!
Our company is saved!
The company is saved! It's a miracle, Jeejeebhoy!
-Sir, are you serious? -Our company is saved!
Are you serious, sir? I can't believe it, sir!
I got ya!
How do you like my
spoofing device? Huh?
Mr. Jaraj.
That was you?
I saw it on TV, and I thought, there's no way.
How could you possibly shut down? What the fuck is going on?
I'm… I'm… Well, really not allowed to say.
And all of this isn't funny, Jaraj.
Funny?
You know what's not funny?
Being out of a job for 15 years. That's not funny.
Having to disguise myself to call anyone.
That's not funny.
To be Hrithik, or be Salman…
but never Jaraj.
Because no one ever answered
when Jaraj called.
And that, my friend,
is not fucking funny!
I deserve to know why this company is shutting down.
I need closure.
I need fucking closure!
Okay. Okay. I'll tell you.
Basically, Freddy and Ajay Talvar came up with a deal together.
-Deal? What deal? -Yeah.
You can't breathe a single word of this to anyone.
Okay. Swear to God.
Wow!
So basically, Aasmaan's doing the film with Karan…
Mm-hmm.
…so Ajay's not working with Freddy?
Politics!
I like it!
Jeejeebhoy, what are you doing tonight?
Probably drinking myself to death?
That fucking drink is on me!
Hmm?
-We're fucking drinking tonight. -Drink? Let's drown!
Happy birthday! Come on, give Uncle Hansraj a hug.
It's okay. You've already hugged her.
Well, shit.
-You wanna hug? -No.
Your fucking loss, man.
-What a beautiful place. -Yeah. It's lovely.
Well, I had to check it out before I bought it. Right?
You took this place from slumdog to millionaire.
Excuse me, one more of these, and you, Mr. Sinha?
Oh, I'm having something later.
-After the real party has started. -Hey, stop.
I'm sorry. I'm just so excited, Ajay.
Aasmaan!
-Over here, Aasmaan! -Please, sir, over here!
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Right here! Aasmaan!
Hey, man. Hey, yo, Parvaiz.
-Huh? -You're a fucking animal! Are you nuts?
Bro.
Thank you for bringing me to this party. It's a fucking lovely party!
Thank Karishma, then, dude. She invited your ass.
So sweet. What a lit party, man.
First class eats and top-class girls.
Big-ass stars with their cute little kids running around the whole night.
All like baby superstars. All, pow, pow, pow, pow!
What a party! So happening, dude!
-Superb party! -Hey!
Bullshit party.
Happy birthday.
Thank you so much, sir.
What an amazing party.
Thank you. I'll just call Papa.
Papa.
Well, then, I better get out of here, I guess.
Whoa! Rooh Afza!
-It's just red wine. -Mmm.
Hey. You're the one who was grinding on my sister, right?
Shaming my family on national television?
That was funny as fuck, bro.
Hi, guys.
I don't know what he said, but I'm sorry.
Karishma. Happy birthday.
I'm out of here.
I have no intention of playing the third wheel. Shaumik!
Just a second.
Happy birthday.
Thank you. What'd you get me?
Open it.
Is that a silver spoon?
You're such an asshole!
Do you like it?
Put it on.
Excuse me, guys. Just a minute.
It goes well with my dress.
Eh…
Fuck you!
You look great.
Thanks.
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen!
Guess what time it is?
Time to cut the cake!
So may I please request the birthday girl make her way to the stage.
I've gotta go cut the cake.
-I'll see you? -See you.
What are you doing? Warming up your seats? Get up! Get up!
But please, make way for the lovely lady.
Drunk fuck!
So this is the love of my life,
and this is the knife.
Must be so rich, that fucker.
Happy birthday to you
What is that?
Wait. Wait, stop, stop.
I… I said stop, guys. Come on.
What is that? Wha… Is that a box?
Hang on a minute. Who baked this cake?
-Who put a box in there? -Sameer.
What? It's supposed to be special.
Who put this in there?
Oh, wait. It was me!
It's a joke!
Thanks. Thanks, Dad.
Okay, sweetie.
Anyway, to make the evening more special…
Not that anything is more special than Karishma being born.
What I'm trying to say…
You lift me up when I'm feeling blue.
Aw!
What's the point of gravity when I'm falling for you?
Aw!
Seven years. I know, I know. It's been a while.
But I promise to always make you smile.
So Karishma,
will you marry me?
What?
Surprised?
Sameer?
Karishma?
-Say yes! -Say yes!
Yes, Sameer. Of course.
She said yes!
Whoo!
Yeah, boy!
Ah!
Fucking hell, motherfucker!
-Family! -Beautiful.
-Would you like to say a few words? -Congratulations.
Fiancée?
I… I'm just very overwhelmed right now.
I didn't see this coming.
I mean… I mean, I knew this day would come,
but… I didn't know it would come this soon.
Sooner the better, I guess?
Aasmaan.
Sorry. I… I mean,
Sa… Sameer wasn't lying when he said
that he's gonna make this day special, so
thank you so much.
Such a committed actor.
Always working, huh?
Well, there's plenty of cake, guys.
We'll drink through the night!
Me too!
-Congratulations! -Congratulations!
Are you okay?
Okay, let's go. Let's go out.
You guys go ahead.
We can't go without you.
Hello?
Hey, Shah Rukh Khan.
Paro's gone, so let her go. We'll go find Chandramukhi, bro. Come on!
My friends,
Devdas loves one and one thing only. This.
Here, take it.
-Chug it. -Um…
-Aasmaan, what are your measurements? -Hey, girlfriend, that's personal.
Do we ask you stuff like that?
We need to get a suit fitted.
You can't go like that to FilmFirst.
-FilmFirst? -Yeah, you were nominated!
Best newcomer?
Best actor!
-Oh! That's amazing! -Are you fucking kidding?
-I did? -Film-fucking-First, man!
-Really? -FilmFirst.
-Hear that, Uncle? -Congrats, kid! Oh!
Okay, if you don't come out and party tonight with us now, man, I'll…
Man, tonight, I'm even gonna call my friends.
-Uncle? -Yeah?
Your only friend is in a bottle, bro.
I've got friends lined up, okay?
And you're one to talk, you brownnoser!
Swinging on Aasmaan's dick
and trying to fool everyone into believing you're Tarzan.
-I've got plenty of friends! -Wow!
Hello!
Hi, Jaraj. Where are you?
Hey, Avtar!
Buddy, I was getting ready to call right now. I'm biking through.
Oh Jesus, man. Why did you answer me? Are you crazy?
Call later. You could fall!
-Okay, okay. Bye! -No, wait!
-Listen. -Huh?
I, uh, wanted to see if you wanted to hang out tonight?
I was hoping to meet up with you.
We gotta talk. It's important.
It's about Aasmaan.
-It's very important. -All right.
I'm gonna send you my location, and hurry down here.
-Aasmaan's with me. -Okay. Okay.
Bye! I love you!
Oh, it was a beautiful evening.
No, no. She's really happy.
I know. They look great together. I'll pass on the message.
Thank you. Thank you so much.
Why, Papa?
Why what, sweetie?
Are you okay?
Sameer told me everything.
Told you what?
Why did you ask him to propose to me?
Sameer wanted to propose,
so I said okay.
Behind my back, on my birthday?
You put me on the spot!
Spot?
I mean, you guys have been going out for so many years.
Aren't you always saying, "I love Sameer. I love Sameer"?
So what did I do wrong?
That's between us!
That doesn't give you the right to make decisions for me.
I care about you, Karishma.
I only want what's best for you.
If you cared about me,
you would've asked me before doing this.
Sweetie?
Congratulations, sis.
Tears of joy?
Happy birthday, by the way!
Fucking shit, kid!
Can I get a drink over here, brother?
I asked him over and over again.
It's so dry.
-What the-- -Don't you think you've had enough?
Hey, Adam.
This is a mild evening, okay? This shit is nothing to Uncle.
No, no. Enough is enough.
Enough? What are we, married?
Oh! Hey! Hey!
Excuse me.
-Can I get two shots, please? -Yeah, sure.
If you start thinking about her, just imagine being up
on the stage at FilmFirst, holding that award,
and everyone going like, "Aasmaan!"
Two shots for you.
Birthday party turned betrothal?
Billionaire Sameer Sinha proposes to Karishma Talvar!
-Yes, you heard that right. -Can you change the channel, please?
-Sure. -Leave it on.
I'd like to watch it.
Hey, bro! Change this shit already.
-There's football on. What the hell? -Look at how happy she looks!
Hey. Don't look at that guy.
What? He's an actor, so he gets to decide?
We're customers too. We're human beings, man.
And this is a public TV.
Yeah. Let's ask the public what they wanna see.
Hey, the public!
What do we wanna watch?
Football!
And gossip says that Shakira will serve drinks…
Change it.
Who cares about these stars, right?
They switch out their partners daily. That Sinha dude can suck it.
I… I'm really sorry about them, ma'am. Can I get you something?
It's okay. Can you give me four shots, not two this time?
-Of course. -And Aas… maan?
He got so scared. His hands were shaking.
-How's he an action hero, man? -The stunt doubles do everything.
-Those guys just show up and take credit. -Hey.
You shouldn't have changed the channel.
Oh yeah, dude? Why not?
You in love with that starlet?
-I hate football, my friend. -Huh?
Aasmaan! What the fuck, dude?
Aasmaan!
Where do you think you're going?
Hey! No, my bottle!
Fuck! Hey, bitch ass!
Mine. No.
Hey! Fuck!
Ah, fuck yeah!
Oh shit!
Oh, why?
-Fuck! -Ah, fuck it!
Oh no! Someone help that guy!
Help!
Help, please!
Gafoor
Run!
Gafoor
Hit that asshole! Hit him hard!
Let's get outta here!
Bro! Are you all right?
-You okay? -Oh, your face, dog.
Damn, what happened to it?
Bro, your face. Oh!
It's beautiful to see!
Oh, come on, man!
You're a tease, dude!
Such a tease, right?
Damn, bro!
Thank you, bro. Thank you!
We've done you two favors.
First, Freddy. Now this.
Freddy? Meaning what?
The contract.
Really, bro? You didn't tell the action hero?
Right, man. I forgot to mention you have to go to this dinner.
It's real quick. 40 minutes with Gafoor bhai.
Who'd you say?
Gafoor bhai. Come on, man.
Let's go.
Right this minute?
When else?
Gafoor is waiting for you.
You coming, or we taking you there?
-Abdul, man. -Huh?
Um…
Just kidding.
They're playing, yeah? You're playing.
Who's that?
I have to take this.
Tonight doesn't work for me.
Hey! What the hell?
Why didn't you say anything?
Huh?
Hi, Karishma.
Congratulations.
You left here without even saying goodbye.
Sorry, uh, something came up.
What's up?
I really need to speak to you.
Okay.
Actually,
forget it.
Okay, well…
-Night. -No, wait.
Am I the only one feeling this way?
What way, Karishma?
I think…
Bag his head.
I'm in love with you.
Hey, let me go!
-Put him in the car! -Let me go!
-Aasmaan? -Move it!
-Put him in already! -Let me go!
-Hey, Aasmaan! -Aasmaan?
Fuck!
Hello, Aasmaan?
Aasmaan? smaan?