And it… it's in me
It's in me, anything you--
-Good morning. -Hi.
Hey, Titus, baby.
How are you?
I said good morning.
Grandma's saying hi to you.
My eyes are not for seeing, and my ears are not for listening.
What the shit is wrong... What's wrong with you?
Mom took her phone. Can't get on social media.
Life is not worth living!
We didn't have cell phones when I was growing up. We had to holler.
"Hey, Hector! John!"
When you were growing up, they didn't have cars.
Run!
Save me!
Whatever you did, you need to go ahead and die,
I ain't about to let you get blood on my new,
cute-ass, "ready to go to the Capitol" dress.
-Just say you sorry. -I'm sorry.
Where is your mother?
Probably somewhere trying to figure out more ways to ruin my life.
Little girl, you just need to go ahead and stop, okay?
We got to be at the Capitol in less than an hour. Y'all know this traffic.
-I think she's depressed. -What? Why?
She's been playing that old song, "I'm Every Woman," all morning.
That's my song, just like "Independent Woman."
Mm-mm. Not for her. She played it every day after the divorce.
Auntie Grandma, check on her for me.
No, I already raised her. I don't owe her nothing.
And if a good joint can't straighten her out, I'm out of it.
I'll go ahead and be the good cousin and get her myself, per usual.
No.
-I am a natural… -Shit, this is bad.
I am a natural… I can give it to you everything
-I can give it to you e-- -Hey!
Don't! I'm trying to get my woman back.
You got a woman up in here? Something I need to know.
No, I'm trying to get my woman back inside of me.
That still sound like that vibrator you used to use.
Is that what you be calling it, "woman"? I like to give mine a name too. I get you.
It's not funny.
I call mine Chuck.
Sometimes Chucky.
Why are you here?
Girl, I'm here to make you feel better. What's wrong with you?
I don't feel like I'm every woman.
I feel like I'm one woman that's overwhelmed.
That's what it feels like.
Oh, girl.
You lieutenant governor.
You a mother of a great son.
And that daughter, well, shit.
But you her mother. You a divorced woman.
You a broke woman.
Girl, you every woman, see?
This is so not cheering me up.
I'm sorry. You know I ain't never been no motivational speaker, bitch.
And you should be so happy that you won, though. Seriously.
-I did win, huh? -Yeah.
And I should be happy, huh?
Yes.
-Girl. -I just don't feel it.
I don't. And I know I won.
I am the lieutenant governor.
-I wanted that. -Period.
So how come I don't feel happy?
No. I don't know.
Not this shit again.
I know you wasn't just listening.
This bullshit has been going on too long. This girdle has been on too long.
Auntie Grandma, they're called Spanx now, okay?
No. It's Spanx for your kind of ass.
For me, it's a girdle with a two-hour time limit.
Let's see the white folks so we can go home and I can get out of this girdle
and I can take this bra off so these girls can get out.
-Mom! -Come on! It's time to go!
-This pity party's over. Let's go! -Okay, guys. What if he doesn't like me?
-Girl, why would he not like you? -'Cause you're Black.
Auntie Grandma.
Did you see them boots he had on?
He's from the country. That's what they be wearing.
Yeah, a place where they ain't seen no Black folks since they ended slavery.
If you came here trying to be encouraging, you not doing a good job.
Came up here not to be dealing with this bullshit.
You won! You ain't never run from nothing.
Except LaWanda Jackson in fourth grade.
Don't remind me of her. Please.
Okay. I will.
-I said don't, Mama. -So when did I ever listen to you?
-There was this little girl. -Give us the tea.
She was picking on her.
And she'd be running home crying from school every day.
-Antoinette, you was getting bullied. -Yes, I was.
And she wouldn't help me.
Why not?
Long story.
She was sleeping with LaWanda's father, who was married.
She didn't want me to mess up her good thing.
Auntie Grandma.
Like you didn't have no ho days in your past.
And knowing you, you gonna have some in your future.
Period.
Well, I just thought that maybe I could find a way
to help her help herself.
So I bought her this chain for her birthday.
And she wore it to school.
And guess what happened?
LaWanda took it.
I was trying to hide it. But she--
-Girl, what did you do? -I got to tell this part.
Well, just don't tell everything, Mom.
Well, I got a call.
And mind you now, I was in this hotel with the little girl's dad.
That is the everything I was talking about.
Again, when did I listen to you?
-Never. -Anyway...
They called me and told me that Antoinette has gotten, you know,
suspended from school because the little girl had got beat.
Beat like her daddy was beating me.
Oh, my God, Mama.
You know how hard it is to show up to the hospital with a man,
and the man's child is sick, and you got to act like you care when you don't?
You got to act like you don't know him because his wife is there.
My God, Mama, please.
Is there a point to this? Where are we going?
My point is, when you want something,
and you earn something, you fight for it.
You earned this.
And sometimes you got to act like nothing is wrong
when you know it is.
So now, I'm finished with this damn pity party.
So let's go see them white folks so they can see why you won. Come on, let's go.
-She really brought that home, didn't she? -She's high.
-How do you know? -That's the only time she makes sense.
Good morning.
Uh, Mom, you may want to see this.
-Hey there. -Damn!
-What's wrong? -Orange eclipse?
-Hey, baby. -Oh, okay.
-You look so nice. -Hey, boo. Thank you.
What the hell are you wearing?
I got on a suit. What you mean?
This is what they call putting the shit on.
See him? You told me to make sure he dressed the part.
The part of what? Cotton candy?
-Pumpkin? Clown? -Okay.
What's wrong with my suit? I look good.
Well, can he turn the suit off?
If you turn them thick ass glasses off, you wouldn't see the suit as hard.
-I need to put these on. -Can you see through them glasses?
Auntie Grandma, those are after eye surgery glasses.
-He's blinding me. -We looked up how Black politicians dress.
-Exactly. -That is the ex-mayor of Detroit
who went to jail.
-Why would you want to dress like him? -Because he's fly, like my baby.
Like what's the problem?
I mean, if you were going to pick a Black politician,
did you ever think of, oh, I don't know, Barack Obama?
Well, see, they was mad as hell that one time he wore that tan suit.
-They let him have it on Twitter. -I did.
-I threw the tan in the shoes. -He's coordinated.
Basil, do you have a black suit?
What you want me to put on? A funeral suit or something?
-Exactly. -Okay.
I need you to go get casket ready.
Girl, no, we ain't got time for that. We already late.
You know what? I'll drive.
-Nette, no. -Hell no! That's my job!
-You cannot drive. -I can drive. I don't have a detail yet.
You're lieutenant governor. You can't show up driving. Let him drive.
Exactly. Let me drive.
I can drive.
No.
-I can drive right now. -Just let him drive, okay.
I would, but remember that thing that happened in Cancun?
I'm still trying to get straightened out. Otherwise, I would. Let him drive.
Fine, fine, fine. You know what? None of us are going to be vetted.
-Let's go. -He can drive?
Help your grandma down this thing. Leaving me up on this damn hill.
Are you going to open my door...? My door, Basil. Op...
My bad. I'm the driver, not the damn door opener.
-He's still learning. -Oh my God.
-I'll go on the other side. -Thank you, baby.
-You're welcome. -Let's go on the other side.
-Hey! -What the hell you doing?
-Wait for us! -Damn!
Get back here!
So, be on your best behavior and stand up straight.
-I am. No. -Is that a boogie?
Girl, if you don't calm down, damn.
I know, shit. We know how to act around white folks.
-I know Morse code, so I got it. -It's code-switchin'.
Correct me one more time, it's gonna be dead bitchin'.
-Hello, Mrs. Dunkerson. -Yes.
My name is Estelle. I work for Governor Harper.
Okay. Hello, Estelle.
-It's nice to meet you. -Hello.
This must be your lovely family.
-It is. Thank you so much. -Oh.
Well, the governor is waiting for you, and we are so excited
to H-A-V-E-Y-O-U here!
I was a cheerleader.
Okay! Why, I'm so happy to be H-E-R-E!
-Oh. -Here! Hey.
She got that "I'll put shit in your tea and take you to the sunken place" smile.
Guys, can we just stay present?
-Please. -Is everything okay?
Yes! Everything is fine!
The governor's waiting, so let's go!
Okay, let's go! Let's go, guys!
-Here's the governor now. -Oh!
-Well, hello there, young lady. -Hello.
You must be my new lieutenant governor.
Yes, I am, and ready for duty, sir.
Well, now, I love that attitude, Miss Dunkerson.
Oh, you can just call me Antoinette.
Okay. Antoinette it is.
Yes, and should I call you G…
-Governor Harper. -Governor Harper.
Yes, of course.
It's so nice to meet you.
No, the pleasure is all mine.
And who are these lovely folks?
This is my family. Come.
This is my daughter, Lola.
-Lola. -Hi.
Did you see that picture over there?
That white man looks crazy. They're literally picking cotton.
Oh. She's such a little jokester.
-Love her so much. -No, seriously, who is that?
That's my father.
I'm kidding.
Oh, that old rascal's Luther.
He's as mean as a snake.
He'd punch your lights out like your mama punched that guy you were with.
I'm so sorry about that.
It won you the seat, didn't it?
She still shouldn't be punching people.
And this is my son, Titus.
Hello, Titus.
Hi.
And this is my mother.
My name is Cleo, and I didn't vote for you.
Well, hot damn.
I love your honesty. I like you.
Well, not too much, I hope.
Hi, I'm Shamika.
Uh…
Yes, and I'm her assistant, and I'm her chief of staff.
Oh, you have a chief of staff already.
Hey! Get off me. Get off!
Get your hands off me! Bae, will you tell them I'm good?
He good. That's Basil.
Get your hands off me!
This is the lieutenant governor's driver.
Oh, my… Uh…
-What? I thought you'd stay in the car. -What?
I had to pee. Okay? I don't like to rush. When you rush and pee, what happens?
Now you pee down your leg. You got to shake it a few times.
Shake it more than four times, you're playing with it.
Damn it, this the governor. Man, what's up, baby?
Oh, how are you, young man?
It's cool. You don't look like you washed your hands anyway.
I'm so sorry for my family, please.
So what do you do, sir?
Oh, shit, I'm the driver.
-Driver? -Ever need a ride, let me know.
Well, after today, you won't be needing that.
Okay.
Oh, hell no. Hell no. I got fired already?
Well, no, you'll have a state patrol detail.
-Yes. -Got to keep you safe.
Absolutely.
-Ain't this about a bitch? -Come on.
Estelle, would you make these good folks comfortable?
I'd like a little private time with my new lieutenant governor.
-Yes, sir. -Oh, and bring us some tea.
You like tea?
No, she don't like tea, she don't drink it.
Well, you folks just make yourself at home,
and, uh, come on, Nettie.
-I want to introduce you to some folks. -Okay.
Did he just call her Nettie?
Like The Color damn Purple. I'm going home.
I've been through it.
So, how are you feeling?
I feel great.
Good.
-I didn't get much rest. -Oh.
I partied all night after winning another term.
-Cigar? -Oh, no, no, thank you.
Yeah, they just love me in this state.
Well, yeah, you've done a fine job, Governor.
Well, that's nice of you to say, but, uh, I know you don't mean that.
Oh, I absolutely do. The state is doing great.
Well, that's because of my party.
And I know you're on the other side,
but it's just 'cause of these ridiculous laws of our state
that the governor and lieutenant governor can be from opposing parties.
So, here we are in a pickle.
I... I don't see any reason why, just because we're from opposing parties,
that we can't work together to get things accomplished.
Work together?
Yeah, work together.
Do you know what it is that a lieutenant governor does?
Yes, I do.
Basically, you just sit around and wait for me to die.
But I'm not going to.
-Oh. -That'd be too easy.
Well, I think
there is plenty for me to do.
No, there's not.
Oh, yes, there is.
No, there's not.
Yes, there is.
I said no, there's not.
Uh...
Ooh, what a pretty dog.
I shot him 'cause he wouldn't learn.
You can laugh.
That good old Grover.
Oh, Grover!
-He's so sweet. -What kind of governor do you think I am?
Killing dogs.
Y'all, come on in here now.
Oh.
-Oh. -Hey. Gentlemen, this is Nettie Dunkerson.
Oh, actually, it's Antoinette.
And she is our new lieutenant governor.
Now, that is Henry. He'll be your chief of staff.
And, uh, this is Walter. He'll handle all your press.
And, well, that is Jed.
Jed'll be who you talk to when you need to talk to me.
You don't talk to me. You talk to Jed.
-Okay. -Other than that, you just show up
to work every day on time
and look the part.
I got the rest.
Now, Henry, he'll tell you where to go and what to do every day.
And you just be a good girl, all right?
Everything will be just great.
-Are we clear? -Uh--
Yes, great, we're clear.
All right, now, we have a press conference coming up here in a little bit.
-So you go on with them now, all right? -Okay.
Come this way, and I'll show you your office.
Thank you, Governor. Thank you, guys.
Don't let the door hit you in the ass.
Right back there is the legislation floor.
Your mother will be there a lot. How long have you been…
See any Black people on these walls?
-I ain't seen one. -Ask her.
Ask me what?
Nothing. Please proceed.
-Oh, Estelle. -Yes?
-I need to see the governor. -He's with the lieutenant governor.
Oh, and are we preparing for the Easter egg roll already?
-This motherfucker talking about my suit. -No. Why?
The suit--
This is the lieutenant governor's family.
Oh, I see.
Well, that is a lovely suit.
And it was lovely to meet you all.
Why do I want orange juice all of a sudden?
-This motherfucker. -He's coming for you.
Shall we continue?
-He ain't got lips to play with me. -My girl Tammy can give him fillers.
-This way! -We can't walk like this. My feet hurt.
I'm sorry. We have punch in the cafeteria. Is that something you would like?
-Mm-mm. -Sis, this place is giving me cult vibes.
-Oh, God. Okay. -We don't want none of that Kool-Aid shit.
-I got my own drink. For me and my baby. -For us.
Look. Shit!
I done left it in the car. I'll be right back.
-I'll meet you downstairs. -We'll be here if you need us!
You never thought you'd sit this close to me, did you?
If she thinks she's doing anything but carrying water,
she is mistaken.
-This is a joke. -I know.
She was a community organizer, then city council.
Now, lieutenant governor?
Don't worry. I'll make sure she stays neutralized.
She ain't gonna get anything done. And I mean nothing.
How can she?
It's my duty to make sure she's out of this office and fast.
You wanna know something? Her resume says she's a lawyer.
Yeah, right. I mean, where'd she get that degree?
Some online school or something?
Actually, she went to her undergrad at Jackson State.
And then she went to Harvard and got a law degree.
Then, she came back to her community where she wanted to help her people.
Damn, boy, you done put your thumb in my ass.
This that governor that was messing with them girls.
I don't play like that.
Now, she come from a community that got her back. We don't play that.
We stronger than the LBWCTQ community.
I'm sorry. Who are you?
I'm Basil, I'm her driver.
You know, this was just political banter.
Oh, okay. Let me make this clear.
Antoinette went to school, got everything she needs to get to deserve this position.
So we got her back.
If y'all want to try to make it hard for her, we'll send this bitch up.
I'll turn this bitch out if y'all mess with my girl.
Excuse me?
Fuck around and find out.
-Let's leave. -Yeah.
-I like your suit, young man. -Yeah, your ass can't afford it.
Yeah, the finest.
And…
this is your office.
Okay.
Very nice. Thank you.
And this is your staff. This is Jenna, your assistant.
-Uh… Wha... -And this is--
Doesn't the lieutenant governor get to choose her own staff?
Well, in most cases, yes.
Well, why not this case?
Huh…
Will y'all excuse us for a moment?
So what am I missing?
Well, Lieutenant Governor, I've been here a while, and…
This is the first time the governor and lieutenant governor
have been of different ra…
-Color... No. -Mm.
Different parties, yes.
So he thought it would be best that you had the staff of his choosing.
-Really? -Yes.
Well, that's not going to work for me.
Well, I think it's best.
I need people around me I can trust.
-Hmm… -Hmm.
So, well, we looked into your staff. We did our research.
-I'm listening. -And…
Basil, your driver, he has a criminal record.
And… um, Shamicka?
It's Shamika.
Could've fooled me.Um…
She was wanted across the legal border in Cancun.
Is she legal?
Of course she is legal, Henry. She's born in America.
-Huh. -Oh God.
That was a Spring break thing.
And she didn't know the donkey could press charges.
That's… Who knew that?
And we got it all cleared up. And let me just be clear.
Basil is not hired as my driver.
But Shamika, okay, she may not be the best assistant.
But she is very trustworthy.
And that's what I need.
I need people around me I can trust as I'm choosing my staff.
So, I actually have a list of potential, um, staff members
that I will submit, they will be vetted,
and that will be my staff, Henry. Including chief of staff.
So, I think it's best that you don't make waves.
And what does that mean?
Look, it's a good old boy network around here.
Just go with the flow like I do.
Your staff is more than capable, including me.
Yes, but all loyal to the governor.
Well, we're all here for the same reasons.
Mm… But are we, though?
Mm… That's my thing. Don't do it.
I'm still going to choose my own staff.
You know what? As a matter of fact, I'll just let the governor know right now.
-Whoa. You just can't go into that office. -Why?
-That has to be scheduled. -Schedule it.
This is your mother's office!
-Ah! -Hi.
So pretty. Can we go now?
-You didn't have a good time, Lola? -No.
Oh! Teenagers.
Okay!
I'm going to go. If you need anything, I'll be right down the hall.
Okay.
And Henry, your chief of staff, he knows where to find me.
-Okay, bye! -Okay, bye!
Um, chief of staff?
They're trying to give me a staff, and I told them I'm picking my own staff.
Great. You told them it's me, right?
We talked about this.
Look, the stuff that got us here is not going to keep us here, Shamika.
Okay, so you going to leave me and let these white people do my job?
No, I said I'm choosing my own staff.
-I'm not a part of it? We not? -Oh, my gosh.
We not a part of it. They say I ain't driving.
They don't know how to drive how I do. How traffic is.
-He the only one who can drive high. -The only one.
If you can't give me what you promised, I ain't doing shit.
I'm just trying to learn the rhythm here, okay?
I quit. I'm leaving. Basil, you coming?
-Shamika! -If you quit, I quit.
Basil, you were never hired!
-Bye. -Bye.
Shamika!
Great first day, everyone.