♪ You don't need a lover ♪
♪ Wanna see and I understand You're waiting on ♪
♪ Shorty, you've taken my heart... ♪
- You don't wanna have the blackberry? - I counted this evenly.
Equally?
- Equally. Same number of berries. - Can you share with me?
♪ ...so long... ♪
- Have a little blueberry. - Thank you.
That's it? I'll take it.
♪ Shorty, will you take my love? ♪
♪ I don't wanna break your heart ♪
♪ Shorty, will you take... ♪
- No, no, no. - No, I gotta go.
Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm.
♪ Isn't it hard enough? ♪
♪ Shorty, will you take my... ♪
I don't think I've left this bed since last Tuesday.
Mm-mm.
I'm not complaining, but I am excited to get away this weekend.
Me too. All right.
We can swap this bed for a similar or same-size bed.
Yes. Did you call the hotel to make sure there would be two bathrobes in the room?
- I did. - Sometimes, they only put one.
I wanna match with you on our first time away together.
I know. You've mentioned several times how important it is to you.
- There will be two. - Thank you.
Rabbi Cohen, hello.
Absolutely. I would love to cover for you this weekend.
Yes. It would be a pleasure. Thank you. Thank you for the opportunity.
- I'll work on it. Thanks. This weekend?
Don't even say it.
- I'm so sorry. It was my boss. - What?
He needed me to cover for him this weekend. I couldn't say no.
Now what am I supposed to do? Just stay at home alone?
Okay. Okay.
Hear me out.
What if...
It's not Big Sur, but my work thing is at a Jewish camp in Ojai.
I see how that doesn't sound fun.
- Keep talking. - Okay. I didn't lose you yet? Great.
All I have to do is one Torah study, then I'm free.
All weekend, we can do fun stuff. It's beautiful up there.
A gorgeous lake. Gorgeous mountain views. We can take walks.
Do they have matching robes?
They do not.
Well,
I guess unbuttoned flannel shirt, no bra, is one of my strongest looks.
Well, now you have to come.
You can't go away this weekend. Why?
You two have dinner with the Spotify execs.
- Did either of you read my email? - Yes.
Yes, I did.
And I was actually just about to reread it.
- Aloud. - Perfect.
Right? Yeah. "Spotify exec dinner." I got it here. All caps. "This Friday."
"Super urgent. 911. Call me now."
Alarm emoji, police emoji. You're so dramatic.
- Yeah. - I d...
- I saw that. - Me too.
They wanna talk about live shows, okay? This is urgent. That's where the money is.
Oh my God. I have a surprise work thing too.
Noah is gonna die.
Okay, this isn't a surprise work thing. Joanne, wake up!
Okay, sorry. This is just annoying because I can't miss my romantic weekend,
but I really can't miss this dinner because clearly Morgan can't do it alone.
Excuse me. Okay. I am more than capable of doing it by myself.
- Uh... - I went to college for three semesters.
But you didn't go the other four years.
- Neither of you went to college. - One, two... There's two semesters.
- Who's going to the meeting? - Marc and Bailey.
Aren't they one step above assistants? I think maybe Morgan could pull it off.
Oh my God. Why are you being so snarky to me?
You're blowing off work to hang out with some guy you're barely dating.
I'm not... Look, it's actually getting serious, okay?
Hence, the fact that we were gonna go away and make our relationship public.
Yeah. So public it's in the middle of the woods.
Oh my God. Why aren't you happy for me?
This is the first time I'm gonna have a boyfriend I actually like.
Okay, look, I am happy for you, but still, you have never let me bail on work, okay?
Remember when I had that sun blister? You made me go to that conference.
- I do. - It's called a cold sore, Morgan.
- Just say what it is. - It was a sun blister!
- She's not gonna be able to admit it. Cold sore.
Why is she in denial?
I've been tested many times. They just don't happen on my face.
Send me the results. I need you both to focus.
Every single meeting is important. We need to close this damn deal.
Okay.
You go have your little weekend.
I will stay here and make sure we all have jobs.
- Sound good? - Great.
Okay, I guess Morgan's in charge now
and, um, I'll fix whatever she fucks up later.
Can you guys hurry? - I guess. Sure.
Oh my God. I'm gonna have to sell my eggs.
Why are you taking her to Camp Haverim? That place sucks.
No, it doesn't. She's gonna love it. It's beautiful. That place is very cool.
Of course you think it's cool. You became a rabbi.
The place is certifiably lame.
You're certifiably lame.
Oh my God. Is this her shirt?
Yeah.
That's incredible. It looks like a doll's.
I'm glad you're taking her up there.
I can't wait to hear the tea about your tiny little shiksa
running around Camp Haverim.
No, there's not gonna be any tea.
- No? No.
Rabbi Cohen asked me to cover for him. He's not gonna be there.
Nor will anyone else we know.
Trust me. I'm not ready to face the whole "I'm dating a shiksa" thing.
Just gonna be me and Joanne and a bunch of teens who don't care.
We're just in that, like, "have to spend every single second together" stage.
Yeah. Esther and I are there too. More of a legal thing though.
You shouldn't let the gyoza sit out. It goes bad early.
I left it for you.
Also, it's fun to think about her seeing me in my element, you know?
Yeah. The kids there, they have this nickname for me.
It's so stupid. I don't even remember it. It's "Hot Rabbi" or something.
I don't know. It's dumb.
Godspeed, Hot Rabbi.
Oh, that one's not good.
Don't eat it.
I don't know what's up. I had two breakfasts.
♪ I was only 18 ♪
♪ And you were 25 ♪
♪ I'd always meet you at the bus stop ♪
♪ You didn't wanna drive... ♪
- What's going on over here?
This is what we call banging your head to the Maccabee hits. Shall we?
Yeah. - Hi!
♪ Shalom! Hey! ♪ - ♪ Shalom! Hey! ♪
Little Noah Roklov!
- Hi! Rabbi Shira.
I didn't know you were gonna be here. How are you?
I'm good. And who is this little ray of sunshine?
This is... This is Joanne.
This is my... This is my friend.
It's your friend? Shalom, Joanne.
Shalom to you too. Also, quick question. What does shalom mean?
It's a very common Hebrew word. It means hello, goodbye, and peace.
Oh, it's like the Jewish aloha.
- Yes! Okay, love that.
I like her.
It's very exciting to have a gentile here.
You're all shiny and naturally blonde with the ability to digest cheese.
I have Lactaid in my purse.
No, don't ruin the fantasy for me.
- Okay. I eat exclusively cheese. Yes!
Shira's a rabbi at nearby Temple Beth David.
Yes, but more importantly,
I was little Noah's camp counselor at this very place.
This was when he was extremely awkward, very into Beanie Babies.
- Whoa! - Yeah.
In spite of that, he was somehow able to still get all the girls.
- Look at him now. All grown-up. - I can see that.
And in line for this big head rabbi job. Are the rumors true?
I... I don't know. Nothing's official.
Are you gonna kill me if I pull him?
There's a thousand people who wanna say hi to him.
- We'll be back. Okay.
Shalom! That one meant goodbye.
I mean, look, guys.
- Wait, what's that? What is that?
What's up, ladies?
Camp is crazy, right?
Are you a new counselor?
Ew, no.
Are you dating Hot Rabbi?
You call him Hot Rabbi? Oh my God, that makes me so proud.
One time, I pretended to choke so he would do CPR on me.
Genius.
Yeah, but he just hit me on the back a few times.
So, is he your boyfriend?
You know, when you're an adult, it's a little more nuanced than that.
Uh, but, yeah, we definitely are a we.
I just heard him introduce you as his friend.
Okay, again, nuance.
You probably didn't pick up the context if you just heard it walking by.
Pretty sure we got the context.
Oh my God. She sounds like Shoshana.
- Yeah. - Totally!
No, I don't.
Who's Shoshana?
- Me. - Oh.
I was dating Elliot. We'd hang out, but only at places no one would go.
Like Ralph's.
Who's Ralph?
The grocery store.
Oh Jesus.
He wouldn't sit next to me on the bus ride to Haverim.
That's when I realized he doesn't wanna be seen with me.
So I'm having my mom pick me up early.
Oh, your generation is so weak.
Okay. Uh...
We can't let things like that affect us, right?
One thing happens you don't like, you call your mom to pick you up?
Besides, that's not what's going on over here,
so if you'll excuse me, I am gonna go find my boyfriend.
He was literally just like...
- He literally just called her his friend. - Yeah.
Well, hello, Hot Rabbi.
- Did you hear about that? - Yeah. They told me.
Oh no.
Practicing your shaloms?
Oh, I've been shaloming fast and loose to everybody.
Fantastic. Would you like to go to the cabin with me?
- Really? We just got here. - Yeah.
I know, but I wanna do Hot Rabbi things to you.
Oh, okay.
♪ I can't win, I can't win ♪
♪ I just crumble up into whatever I was... ♪
You spent every summer here? Just about.
Except for one where I had the flu all summer.
- Oh. - Yeah.
- Wanna hear something cool? - Mm-hmm.
That field is where I fractured my pinkie
during the most ruthless game of dodgeball in camp history.
Here's the kicker. Guess who threw the winning ball?
Was it a hero with a broken pinkie?
You bet your ass.
And over there? That's where I asked Michelle Keys to be my girlfriend
after we slow danced at the camp social.
Michelle Keys wasn't a big ambiance girl.
The shed was the spot.
Camp stud? I just... I did not know.
Did you ask a lot of girls to be your girlfriend at camp?
Mm-hmm. Yeah. You had to leave camp with a girlfriend. It was the whole point.
- Okay.
Hold on. It's Morgan. Hold on.
Hi. What do you need? I'm flirting with a cute boy by a lake.
Ashley just heard that an actual important person is coming to the meeting tonight.
Malcolm Miller.
He runs the entire podcast division, so...
What? - Yes.
He's coming now? - Yes.
Okay. That's okay. Uh...
- You're great with powerful guys. - No. He's married.
Fuck! Okay. - Yeah.
Well, then I'm coming home.
No. No! Don't. Stay.
Morgan, you cannot handle the entire podcast division by--
Joanne? No, I'm doing this.
I need you to send me episode summaries for potential live shows.
Shit. I don't have my notes. I left my computer at Noah's.
Sasha can let her into my place so she can grab 'em.
- I'll text him. - Okay.
Did you hear that? Sasha can get you the notes.
Morgan, I really need to make sure that you do not blow this--
Bye.
And she hung up.
She seemed confident.
Yeah. Yeah. She's... She'll be... She is gonna be...
I need to go back to the cabin, write some additional notes for her, just in case.
All right, how about this? I'll go grab us two plates of food.
When you're done, we'll go on a picnic.
- A picnic? Yeah.
I brought the perfect dress, but only if we're backlit,
so stay to the west of me.
- I'm gonna wear this. Okay.
- See you then. Yeah.
Oh my God. Thank you. Oh my God.
I need this so bad. It's been a nightmare.
Here we go.
I got a guy who can wipe that in an hour.
What? No. I just need to get some stuff off of it for a work meeting tonight.
Sorry. You just had a real manic energy, so I was feeling perplexed--
Yeah, because my sister is ditching our work dinner
to have sex with your stupid brother.
Now the big boss guy is coming.
I'm freaking out because I need to show people that I can do this alone.
Oh, I get it.
- You're the loser sibling. - What?
And no judgment. I'm the loser sibling.
It's hard to compete when your brother's the Jewish Jesus.
Yeah.
Doesn't make as much sense with you.
- Hmm. - You're cool as hell.
You have a witty comeback for everything.
You're like a smoke show. You got this hot earth mother vibe going on.
- What? You know?
And you're way hotter than your sister. She's too short.
Finally, somebody gets it, right?
- Oh! - So short.
About this thing tonight, a couple of years ago,
I met this hostage negotiator at a bar, and he was telling me--
Wait. This isn't a hostage situation. This is just a work dinner.
Everything in life is a hostage situation.
Okay.
Anyway, he was telling me about this technique he used called "mirroring."
All you do, no matter what this guy says,
just repeat the last few words back to him like it's smart and interesting,
and he'll keep talking.
It's gotten me out of a lot of difficult situations.
"A lot of difficult situations"?
Mm-hmm. I've used it at home.
I've used it at work. One time, I used it at a Dutch prison.
A Dutch prison?
Turns out cocaine's still super illegal there.
Wait, cocaine is still super illegal over there?
- Holy shit. You're so good at that. - Thank you.
It was a great tip.
Thank you for the tip. No, that doesn't work.
No, not as good.
Just the man I was looking for.
Rabbi Cohen, hi. I thought... I thought that you had a donor meeting.
The Schlossbergs had a change of schedule,
so I just, uh, figured I would pop up and watch the Torah study in action.
Yes, excellent!
I'm so glad you're gonna be there in person.
Yeah, you're... you're really loading up here.
Yeah. Yeah. It's all for me.
I get so hungry before I do public speaking.
Oh, I get it. Many activities make me hungry.
- Yeah.
Well, this food's not gonna eat itself, so I'll just...
Okay. Be careful. - Yep, steps.
- See you there! - See you there.
Glad you're here.
Oh, you gorgeous bitch. You did it again.
- Hi. Hello.
- I love it. - Picnic outfit.
Yes. You know, I was thinking we should just do a picnic inside instead.
Put some blankets down, get a fire going, get cozy in here.
I don't know. I pictured it outside. I really want the wind in my hair.
Yes, I get that, but a picnic inside could be really good
'cause, think about it, more privacy.
- Okay. - Less bugs.
Well, I don't like bugs, and I do like privacy.
Mm, and then maybe after our privacy, we can go sit out under the trees.
I gotta run over and do that Torah study, and then we'll do it.
Oh, I know. I'm gonna be there.
I'm gonna be filming it, front row,
like an embarrassing aunt with no kids of her own.
You know, I was thinking about that. It's gonna be pretty boring.
You might wanna just hang here, relax, read a book.
Oh no, I definitely wanna come.
It's gonna be boring. You don't need to be there.
- You acting weird? - I don't think so.
I feel like you're acting strange.
Okay, look. Uh...
My boss just showed up unexpectedly,
and I... don't know if it's a good idea
for him to see me with you here.
Oh, are you serious? Were you not supposed to bring a guest?
No, I can... I can bring a guest. I just, um...
Look, I'm up for a big promotion,
and, um, he's a very traditional man.
And, um, he holds my future in his hands,
and, uh, if I'm being honest, this has now...
It's become a weird situation for me.
Oh.
Because of me?
Because I'm not Jewish?
I get it.
Well, thank you for being honest.
- Are you okay? - Um... Mm-hmm.
Yep. I'm good.
Yep. I... am dressed for the outdoors, so I'm gonna...
I'm gonna still go. I'm gonna just take both.
I'm gonna go outside and have, you know, my own little picnic.
That's fine.
- ♪ Light from the sun ...♪ -
♪ Soothing my heart... ♪
Oh God.
Be careful. It's hot.
♪ When I grow old ♪
♪ What will you say then? ♪
Hey!
Shabbat Shalom, Joanne.
Shabbat Shalom to you too.
You should join us. We're making candles for Shabbat. It's really fun.
And I think it'll help take your mind off whatever your mind happens to be on.
I'm not...
I'm just... having two adult servings of bread.
What is Shabbat?
Oh, uh, from sundown Friday to sundown Saturday,
we take a day of rest,
and we hang out with our loved ones and reflect on the week we just had.
- You're not allowed to work? - Mm-mm.
You just sit and chat with friends and family?
That sounds really nice.
It is. It's really nice to connect with family
and talk shit about the people that annoy you.
Oh! Now you're speaking my language.
I knew I was. Oh, I have to help Anna with her candle. Excuse me.
So where's Hot Rabbi?
Well, you girls were right.
Noah is trying to hide me.
Dead that you call him Noah!
He seemed so into me. And, I don't know...
Been there.
I guess it's official. I am a Shoshana.
- No offense, girl. - It happens.
Honestly, you should leave him, so that in five or six years,
he can reconnect with a former camper he can spend the rest of his life with.
I feel like such an idiot.
I gave up a very important work thing to be here with him.
When I'm older, I don't wanna be sad like this.
Joanne is, like, 50, and she's being a pick-me girl.
I wanna be empowered and confident when I'm middle-aged.
I am confident, and I am empowered! That's, like, my whole brand.
And that's what I should be focusing on. Me.
Wow. You girls harshly judging me actually helped.
- And now I'm leaving.
I guess your generation is weak too.
Hey, girls.
- Girls, have you seen Joanne? - She left, Noah.
Uh, um, call me Rabbi Roklov.
So she left, huh?
Yeah. She realized how sus you are.
I'm not sus.
You treated Joanne like a slam-piece.
"Slam-piece"?
Are all guys medically stupid?
She wants to be your girlfriend, Noah, not your friend.
I can't believe I ever loved you.
Hi!
Morgan!
So glad we can get this on the books. Where's your sister?
- Who cares? You got the good one.
- Right! - No, no. I'm just kidding.
Joanne is on some annoying adventure that will eventually blow up
and make a great story for our podcast, so...
- Amazing. So great to finally meet.
I really love putting a face to the voice.
- Oh. - Please just tell me about yourself.
I really like to get friendly with the hosts.
It's probably because I was born in Canada.
You were born in Canada?
- Yeah. Well, uh, born in Canada. - Amazing.
But raised in Chicago, which you can probably tell from my accent.
I... I can hear a slight accent.
A little bit there. Well, funny story about my days in Chicago.
- I love Sammy Sosa.
This one's good.
Thank you. Oh!
How's your lady friend?
She left.
Oh. Well, that's a bummer. She seemed great.
Yeah. Yeah. She is.
I sort of freaked out when Rabbi Cohen showed up,
and, um, it didn't go over so well with her.
- Mm. Got it. - Yeah.
Think he'd still back me for head rabbi if he knew I was with a gentile?
Hmm. I think you're asking the wrong question.
How do you feel when you're with her?
Honestly, I have never felt like this in my entire life.
But you know, it is
not without its significant complications.
Judaism has been around for thousands of years, right?
And all but the last 50 of those, women were not allowed to be rabbis.
But here I am, so suck it.
I mean, change is a process.
Maybe you change. Maybe she does. Maybe you both do.
But that doesn't mean you give up something great because it's difficult.
I cried every day for a year, and then I was ready to move on.
Mm. - Oh, I've never told anyone that before.
- You're kidding? No.
Wait. You guys get all the podcast guests to feel that comfortable?
We try, but...
It's mostly Morgan. People underestimate how good she is.
Oh, some people do.
Mm-hmm. Well, it's because you have given people reasons to feel that way.
Oh. Have I? - Yeah, you have.
Okay. Let's hear about that.
And that is some of the sisterly magic that happens when we're both here.
Wow. Wonderful.
And I think it would go really well with our live shows.
Which is where we would like the show to go.
Cheers to that.
What's happening?
- Sweet.
Sorry. Will you excuse me for just a second?
Okay. Oh, who's that?
Oh, that is Joanne's rabbi boyfriend.
Mm-mm. Just a friend.
But in my spare time, I do consult on biblical matters.
Sorry about that.
Is that true?
- What are you doing here? - Ashley told me you'd be here.
Listen, I'm so sorry.
I know you... you pushed off work for me,
and then I literally hid you from my boss.
- Mm-hmm. - I totally panicked.
I know how much that must have hurt, okay?
But, Joanne, I don't wanna lose you, okay?
And I promise, if you just give me a little time,
I will work that out.
It did hurt, Noah.
And also, you called me your friend
in front of the teens, whose opinion I care about most.
That was so sus.
But maybe, most importantly, you made me miss my first Shabbat.
- Your first Shabbat? - Yes, Noah. It's Friday.
That is when Shabbat happens. I learned about it at candle making.
I can fix this. Hang on. Just hang on.
Can I have two glasses of your house red, please? Thanks.
Hold that thought.
Someone forgot their Shabbat candles at camp.
Now, did Shira tell you why we light two candles on Shabbat?
No.
There's a few interpretations, but I'll tell you my favorite.
The candles represent the two temples in Jerusalem that were destroyed,
and we light them to remind us that buildings can crumble,
but that doesn't matter.
What matters is gathering with people we care about,
so Shabbat can happen anywhere.
It's kinda like a pop-up.
Yeah, it is.
So welcome to your first Shabbat dinner.
You wanna light the candles? I'll say the prayers.
Okay. Here's an abridged version.
Cheers.
♪ ...I can't explain ♪
♪ Full of words I don't know how to say ♪
♪ And without a little twist of fate ♪
♪ I know I'd still be searching, baby ♪
♪ I swear That you've been sent to save me... ♪
I have something really important to ask you.
And it's not just because it's the last day of camp.
Joanne,
would you please, please be my girlfriend?
♪ ...the only one that my heart... ♪
Noah, we're adults. Let's just say we're off the apps.
She said yes! She said yes. We're off the apps!
♪ It's always been you It's always been you ♪
♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah ♪
♪ It's always been you, yeah ♪
♪ You're only the one That my heart keeps coming back to ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
♪ It's always been you, yeah ♪
♪ Ah, ah, ah, ooh ♪
♪ It's always been you ♪
♪ You're the only one That my heart keeps coming back to ♪