What's wrong with me?
Why do I feel lost?
Was I crazy before?
Or have I gone crazy now?
Your wandering eyes Your disheveled hair
What have you done to yourself
I found someone
I've lost my heart
What to tell you my friends
I'm totally shaken
I found someone
I finally found someone
Rakhee!
Shree, I don't like you like that.
And if you were so serious, you could have at least
bought a real ring. You know my dad's a jeweler, right?
Umm, "Shree, what do you mean by this? Can you help me with that?
What does this mean?"
Rakhee then tell me why do you get so cozy and chatty with me in class?
Are you serious?
Yeah.
That's what friends are like you fool.
But isn't love nothing but friendship?
I saw it in a movie yesterday.
I think you missed one tiny detail.
It took years for their friendship to turn into love. Cosy and chatty.
Yeah but, Deepak was saying that… your father must be a jeweler,
but you're no diamond. You'll surely say yes.
Shrirenu Tripathi! You will suffer, you will ache,
you will stumble through life like you're dying of thirst,
but you will neither find any love nor any sex! I hereby curse you!
Oh, and I have a small gift for your friend Deepak.
Maybe you could pass it on to him?
Could you take off your glasses please?
So persistent Mr. Pandey. You show up every day.
Stale vegetables, burnt bread, you eat everything I put.
Maybe Rakhee's curse got you too because you stay with me.
Now be single all your life… Hmm?
Bhanu… Deepak still owes… 4000 from the last two months,
but he'll pay up next week.
Ugh…
By the time I was your age… I was already paying my
daughter's college fees.
And here you are still splitting rent with your roommate.
Look at Pramod… My useless good for nothing friend.
I gave him a job in my company.
Gave him and his wife, Pramila, a place to stay in my house.
Quit your crappy teaching job.
Come work with me. The real estate business is booming.
I've accepted it Bhanu. We were born with nothing.
And we will die with nothing?
Sorry, sorry.
There you go.
See you later.
Even I am more positive than your brother.
Hi Kusum, listen I'm on the bus right now.
Yeah, that's fine. Listen quick question,
which jar would look better for my homemade pickles?
The old school jar on the left that Pramila's holding?
Or the modern one on the right that Nisha's holding?
I like Nisha's jar.
There are so many options in the market.
Looks matter, Shree.
Uncle Shree, please don't overthink this
and make it more complicated. You're on your way to school and
I'm running really late for work.
The old school looks nice.
- Thank you… Okay one more thing. - Good choice…
Okay, bye.
Why did you say that you're 42 on your matrimonial profile?
I told you to write 39 on it.
Age matters, Shree.
What difference do three years make? We've been trying for 15 years now.
The astrologer told me that this year will be really lucky for you.
2024, Shree, it's your year.
He must mean 2024 BC, Liar!
Never mind that. Ask Deepak to take a nice picture
of you today in the studio. Okay?
Don't worry.
VIKAS COLLEGE JAMSHEDPUR - 831002
Alright quiet now.
I said quiet everyone. Silence!
Silence!
Good morning.
Welcome to class everyone.
Wow!
You guys are already back at it, huh?
Who will translate this word for me?
Yes, Kartik. Go ahead.
In Sanskrit, this is a verb, meaning to go.
Gacchami, Gacchava, Gacchama.That is, I am going,
you are going, and we are going.
Well done, Kartik.
- Thank you, Professor. - Very nice.
So…
If we had to say theopposite of this verb, hmm… Now imagine Professor Shrirenu
having his first orgasm ever. Wanna guess what he would scream then?
What would he say?
"Ahem Aagachami. Aagachami. Aagachami!"
There you go with your jokes again, Rakesh.
J-j-jokes?
I was just asking a question. I was uh…
wondering what the Sanskrit word for virgin is.
Shut up!
I'm really sorry sir if my question roused up, I mean riled you up.
Why don't you have a hot affair Shree?
I'll ask for it and I'll get it right?
Shut the fuck up, bro.
Chin down.
You know, right, why your students keep making fun of you?
You have to look past the punchline Shree.
You're 42 years old, and still a virgin.
Agreed that the universe may be out to get you,
but you keep wearing a punch me sign.
The mission is impossible but you have got to atleast try.
Yeah.
If I wrote my thesis on trying hard, I would have had my PhD by now.
Neck straight.
- Some women have a problem with my name. - Shri-nenu?
Shri-venu?
Shri-redu?
Some have an issue with my job.
Sanskrit?
Teacher?
- And some just don't get me. - I'm feel a little different, Shrirenu.
You had coffee on an empty stomach, right?
It's probably given you gas.
Disgusting!
You know, I've actually found the perfect solution
to your lifelong problem.
A new sex chatting app just hit the market around three months ago.
"Aap… Jaisa… Koi."
Which means "Someone like you." This app is different from all the other apps out
- there. - Hmm…
In this your name and your identity remains strictly confidential.
Only 699 a month.
Just unsubscribe from all the other useless apps on your phone.
Hmm…
Get ready to spice up your life.
You tap on this icon, and then a… Mystery woman will answer your call.
- Hello? Listen… - Someone new… on every call.
This is your solution? Phone calls with women?
It's so much more than a phone call. You can share your private
wildest desires.
So at first, she'll laugh at your jokes. She'll make you feel more confident.
And then the quiet waters of your heart, that lay untouched for all these years,
will start to swell and gently ripple, Professor Tripathi, they'll shake you up.
The currents will start to build.
Very gently at first.
And then stronger…
And stronger…
And even stronger…
stronger, stronger, stronger, stronger… And finally,
a Tsunami will drown the whole of Jamshedpur. Mark my words.
Listen, come here, come here… Come here, come here.
Not even my old principal takes my phone calls.Why would unknown ladies take them?
You get what I'm saying?
Exactly, that's the best feature of AJK.
They never actually see your face.
All they see on their screen is a call alert.
Who's the caller on the line? What he looks like?
None of that matters here.
But isn't this unfair to those ladies?
Life has been unfair to you all these years.
You also deserve to be a little happy my friend.
You don't lecture me about happiness. Your wife left you, didn't she?
- After two years. - Yeah, but she left you.
After two years! At least I had a wife to lose.
But your life is so depressing, Shree.
You haven't had a woman's phone number besides Kusum and Nisha in 20 years.
Loneliness is truly the worst disease in the world, Shree.
When life doesn't even give you lemons,
You have to whip up your own drink.
Won't be perfect… But you won't stay thirsty.
Deepak?
Coming, madam! One sec.
AJK… AJK… AJK… AJ--
Hello?
Hello? Um… hello.
How do you do?
How do I do what?
My name is Shrirenu Tripathi.
Nice name. But I didn't ask you.
Sorry.
This is the first time I'm talking to someone like this.
So if I sound inappropriate, please forgive me.
Isn't this app meant for inappropriate things?
Yeah.
Have you had your dinner?
No, it's past 9. 30, right? That's why I asked.
Honestly, I'm just craving some dessert.
I have got a sweet tooth as well.
But then the calories, the acidity, the blood sugar.
Still, every Sunday I do treat
myself with something.
Do you mind if I say something? Your voice sounds sweet and innocent,
but I also sense a hint of mischief in it.
Your voice is quite captivating too.
It's warm yet… undeniably sexy.
Hm-hmm…
So… what are you wearing tonight?
Nightsuit.
You're cute… And what's your love language?
Sanskrit.
Sanskrit?
Oh come on, in this modern world, who speaks such a dead language?
Gunam Purchasva Maharupam.
Sorry?
Pardon me, but languages never die.
It's possible that there aren't many speakers.
But if you're only reading Jean Paul Sartre but not Kalidas,
you're missing something.
You know Sanskrit books may not have the shiniest covers, but…
the real magic is hidden deep within their pages.
That's so hot.
I'd like to call you Shree, if… that's alright.
- Just Shree. - Yeah, yeah.
Oh Shree.
My Shree. Shree
Just Shree…
Shree…
Shree!
What would I be without you
I'd no longer breathe
You're like a dream, my love
The way you call my name
I fell into your embrace
May all my days and nights Be spent in your shade
With you by my side, O Love My eyes seek no farther
Oh, what the hell are you doing?
So, how was it?
"Is it okay if I call you… Shree?"
Whoa…
"Oh, Shree…"
Oh, bro!
Nobody's ever said my name with so much love and tenderness before!
Oh well done! Well done!
Sir, are you…
are you feeling okay?
Yeah, why?
You are smiling today.
Good one, Rakesh.
You're the answer to my prayer
I'm a shooting star
I was yours in a previous life
May I be yours in this life too
For with you by my side, O Love
My eyes seek no farther
The mist retreats, sinks away
Ever since I found you and made you mine
You're a wonder of nature One in a million
Never let us part, I implore you
With you by my side, O Love
My eyes seek no farther
Oh Pandey, you wanna know something?
If the women can't see your face, you're not scared of them anymore.
I hope you also find a cute little mouse for yourself someday.
I've told you so often, Jasmine triggers my allergies.
Bhanu…
Bhanu!
Hmm…
Listen to me.
Hey, I listen to you all day. Can you give me a break?
Bhanu…
I was thinking.
Let's spice it up. Try something new… You know, you and I?
Don't you think you're past that age, Kusum?
This OTT has completely messed everyone's head.
They'll show any rubbish.
You should keep yourself busy.
Then you won't get these crazy ideas.
I asked you for help… I wanted to set up a cloud kitchen.
Mrs. Tripathi, you can fire up your stove… Just don't do it with my money.
Yes ma'am tell me, What would you buy today?
Carrots, beans, radish… Do you want the usual?
No, not today. Show me something else. I'll try something different.
Then I have just a thing for you.
I think you'll like this, avacado.
You know, a famous cricketer grows them. Whatever you make will be a hit.
Alright, I'll take two dozens then.
Okay ma'am.
Give me a good price, okay?
- Of course, have I ever overcharged you? - Mrs. Tripathi?
Mr. Joy!
Ah… Hello. Sorry… Here.
- What's this? - Bengali sweets. It's Shondesh.
I got it from Kolkata.
Thank you.
By the way, everyone in my family back there
is a fan of your pickle.
The marinade for the lime pickle was simply out of this world.
I added some extra cloves this time.
Ah, it really brought out the flavour of the lime.
You shouldn't be giving away this precious pickle for free.
I think you should take it up professionally, Mrs. Tripathi.
By the way, I don't remember seeing
so much joy on your face.
Did you only stop by to compliment the pickle or is there something else?
Oh, yes… I do have some very special news for you.
That's partly why I brought the sweets.
I've told you not to call me when I'm at school-
Shree… there's a marriage proposal for you!
The girl is our neighbour, Joy's neice.
She's also been looking for a partner for two years. Joy just told me.
Has she seen my picture?
Yeah, of course.
Have you told her what I do?
Why wouldn't I tell her?
I have sent them all your details. And look at the coincidence,
she's also teacher.
She probably has kids my age or she's as old as you.
Something is a miss for sure.
Just tell me the truth.
I don't think any of this should matter. But if you must know, I found out…
She's 32 years old, she doesn't have kids and
she's never been married.
Really?
- Alright, send me her picture then. - I… haven't asked for her picture as yet.
See? I knew something was off.
I'm not going to get myself insulted. I'm definitely not going.
I told them you would go so you have to go. You can meet her and decide.
Besides Kolkata is barely three hours away.
Any order, sir?
Yeah, tea- less milk, make it strong, add ginger, fennel, cardamom.
Sir… We don't serve tea here. Would you like a cup of coffee?
No.
What secrets does her heart hide
As she walks up with a leisurely stride
What secrets does her heart hide
As she walks up with a leisurely stride
She arrives like the radiance of spring
Her steps are like fairy lights sparkling
O angel of mercy, you're the one for me
You're the one for me
Who could want anything more than you
You are Shrirenu?
That's you, right?
Madhu Bose.
What secrets does her heart hide
As she walks up with a leisurely stride
What secrets does her heart hide
As she walks up with a leisurely stride
Listen, I don't make a lot of money.
I don't really save much after groceries and rent.
I earn quite a decent salary.
If need be, two people could live off it.
I thought you were a teacher.
- What is it that you teach? - Yeah.
French… At the Institute of Art and Languages.
Listen, I think you're mistaken.
You know, my school…
My PhD thesis guide everything's in Jamshedpur. I can't move to Kolkata.
But… who said you have to move?
If things work out for good… I'm ready to move.
I'm happy to teach French at your school.
Hello!
Didn't you… Didn't you find anybody else?
In two years I must have received some 35 profiles.
Four Rahuls, three Kunals and seven Abhisheks.
But then I saw your name.
Shrirenu.
Exactly. Really caught my eye.
And then I read about your hobbies.
You have none.
That's it. I was blown away by your honesty.
I mean at least you didn't lie like the others by saying water sports or
mountain climbing.
Any order, ma'am?
- Umm… - Uh…
Hot chocolate?
No.
Actually, I'm in the mood for some tea.
They don't have tea here.
I know… sorry.
Uh… Should we go somewhere else?
With milk or without milk?
With milk.
With milk, less milk, make it strong add ginger,
fennel and cardamom.
Is that okay?
What happened?
The tone and speed with which I said it, she said it the same way. Word for word,
ditto!
- It was like magic. - No not magic. It's black magic, bro.
Pranked… You're being pranked. And I'm absolutely sure of it.
She's been single for two years.
Despite being stunning. And speaks a third language… French?
Française!
How can a…
Nerdy Sanskrit teacher possibly land himself a hot French kiss?
Is it possible that Rakesh is pranking me?
Maybe he wants to make an embarrassing video?
And then blackmail me for better grades later on.
There's only one way to find out.
We are going to Kolkata for the weekend.
Why?
Because Mark Zuckerberg says that next month is Madhu Bose's happy birthday.
Lucky us.
Cheers!
Birthdays are all about surprises.
We're going to pretend to make a short film.
The perfect cover story for our investigation.
We'll talk to everyone. Madhu's mom, uncle,
aunts, brothers, sisters, close friends, nosy neighbors and even their pets!
And they'll tell us everything about her.
All her… Play ground pranks, teenage tantrums,
every blast from the past?
And through this secret R&D project,
research scholar Shrirenu Tripathi will unveil the truth… about Madhu Bose.
A sweet innocent rose… or a siren with a hidden sting?
But why would they tell us this?
They won't but they'll talk to Madhu Bose's French student Rakesh for sure.
To who? What?
The Fudgin French?
Hello, mister!
Hello, hello.
Who could be a better fit than Rakesh for a shady mission like this one?
Professor!
The thing is I want to make up for all my mistakes and also pass my upcoming exams.
Oh also, check out my side profile, don't I look French?
You look like a miscreant from all angles. She's gonna see right through you.
If looks were the criteria she'd never choose you either.
- I'll slap the… - Aae!
Hey! What are you getting so upset about?
Someone actually chose you. You're nothing but a needle in a haystack.
Now you can either choose to weave your dreams with it or you can burst the
whole bubble.
Okay, visualize this. Imagine the bubble stays intact.
Then you won't have to travel solo anymore.
You'll start keeping an eye on luggage for two.
You'll eat fish curry like a proud Bengali.
You'll become a pescatarian.
You'll spend long afternoons taking her out shopping.
"Excuse me, sir, one um… High neck blouse, please."
For Mrs. Tripathi!
In short, your "I love you too"
fantasy will come true my friend.
Don't forget Rascals. She's going to be your sister-in-law.
Deep-sea fish, catfish, Aar fish… nice and fresh.
Guess what I've got today… Fresh Hilsa Fish!
My favorite.
No, no.
Only practice. Sa…
Not today! Office. Year ending.
I need to do my reading.
And I need to write.
No no no… If I stay back and eat fish,
Then who will go for the shoot?
And if my darling can't stay for lunch, how could I?
Aww!
Give.
Greetings, greetings!
Does uh… Miss Madhu Bose live here?
Uh, yes. But… who are you?
I'm her student.
Oh! Please, come in.
Oh…
First let me check if the fish is fresh or not.
But it tastes like your recipe, Shona.
It wasn't me that cooked it.
This is the highest note in the Bose family, Madhu's grandmother.
They call her Didima.
Who's currently going through her nervous nineties.
Miss Madhu's mother, Anupama.
The iron woman of the fashion bazaar. If Madhu Bose is the art,
then Anupama is the artist.
Uncle Pritam, our stay at home, son-in-law. And wanna be author.
He is in pharmaceuticals, but he's passionate about writing.
This is his femme fatale. Aunt Bidisha.
She's undoubtedly the biggest supporter of all his Spy novels.
Aunt Shona. A not so famous method actor
in Bengali soap operas. She's always in character, even at home.
- Babu Shona… - And this is Aunt Shona's manager and
the love of her life, Uncle Parikshit.
And this is your neighbour. The ever joyful Uncle Joy.
Who moved to Jamshedpur after divorce, on Madhu's insistence.
Hold on, please.
And now, living happily being single.
And finally it's time to introduce the main character in the movie- Madhu Bose.
Now what can we say about Madhu?
Didima knows her best.
You'll find Didima and Madhu always together.
Magic with a sparkle Sweet and sour pickle
How do we describe our Madhu
Bangle made of moonlight Sweet sugary syrup
How do we describe our Madhu
MADHU
Magic with a sparkle, Sweet and sour pickle
How do we describe our Madhu
Never get into a skirmish with her
Never play hard to get with her
She'll hand you a sound thrashing
Flatten you with the washerman's toss
She listens to everyone with an open heart
Then she keeps their words in her heart
She listens to everyone with an open heart
Every heart here beats for Madhu, Madhu, Madhu, Madhu
Magic with a sparkle Sweet and sour pickle
How do we describe our Madhu
Bangle made of moonlight Sweet sugary syrup
How do we describe our Madhu
Magic with a sparkle Sweet and sour pickle
How do we describe our Madhu
I'm Chaitali… I was Madhu Bose's student.
Has no one ever mentioned about Namit Agarwal?
Who's he?
Why don't you ask her? Everyone's favourite Madhu Bose.
Mr. Professor, it took you ten days to call me.
Do all the teachers in Jamshedpur play so hard to get?
Look, I know I don't have the right to ask you yet.
But there's something that I'd like to know.
Hmm
So, who is this Namit Agarwal?
How do you know about Namit?
Nowadays, WhatsApp groups are formed even
before relationships are made.
Your uncle Joy is a friend of a friend of my friend Deepak's friend.
I'm not sure what you've heard exactly. We met five years ago…
through a student of mine. He's her brother.
He was pursuing medicine from the US.
Thank you,
You know what they say…
"Head over heels"?
Well, within six months…
We were heels over head.
Sorry.
And one evening in the heat of the moment, Things escalated.
And just then… Namit blurted out the most disgusting question on earth.
You seem quite experienced.
Are you even a virgin?
Exactly.
Even I thought he was joking so I started laughing.
But he didn't laugh.
He just kept staring at me, waiting for me to speak.
He actually wanted me to answer that.
Love is such a gamble.
My mother really loved my father.
She was willing to give up everything for him, but… he left her instead.
And in the years that followed, she continued to believe
that it was her fault.
She could have saved them.
You know sometimes I wonder… If I should have lied to him that day.
Maybe I could have saved us.
But for what? Namit was young, a doctor, From a very good family…
And yet this mentality?
Bloody chauvinist pig.
I flat out refused to see him again.
"Are you even a virgin?"
Is it possible to find a virgin beyond sixteen these days?
The National Museum won't have one either.
I'm uh…
Yeah, tell me.
I was thinking that… There is a retro film festival happening.
At the Anand Lok Theatre.
Would you like to go?
Are you a fan of retro movies or… Are you asking me out on a date?
Hi.
Here.
Good morning… uh… Good afternoon.
Hello.
Hi.
If you don't mind… Hmm
Sorry.
You don't really know how to drive, do you?
I did learn, but I've forgotten.
Then why did you come by car today?
Because I had to impress you. Sorry.
Here you go.
Thank you.
You know… The younger actor was a maverick.
No doubt.
Correct.
But I always thought… The older one was hotter.
Older one?
Hm-hmm.
- Hot? - Very.
Really?
Hmm.
Oh. Thank you.
I've been waiting just for you since so long.
- Are you asleep or awake? - I hope you've looked at me properly.
What?
- Tea. - You could have had any man you
- wanted. I'm sure you met many after Namit. - What time is it?
Hmm…
- Oh, you woke me up so early. - I did.
But I didn't like any of them.
And you didn't find anyone either.
- Stop underestimating yourself. - Hey, how are you breaking it?
- You're… shy. - Massage my back.
No!
- What do mean, "No"? - But I find your shyness very sexy.
Why are you getting mad at them? I had come to pay the bill.
And your smile?
- Which bill? - There… there…
Love it.
What are you doing?
- I knew it the first time I met you. - Run! Hide!
- Lie down! Lie down! - Cute girl, Nerdy boy.
Don't move! Don't move!
Perfect for a rom-com.
Jaggu!
It could also be a thriller, you know.
Actually, I'm not very… Unique or… Very special.
That's what makes you unique.
"Époustouflant" is what you are.
French, for "breathtaking."
And you're an absolute "Indra jaal."
Sanskrit for "Magic."
I like you, Shri.
Just deal with it.
Your name shouldn't have been, Madhu Bose, you know… It should have been Magic Bose.
I met you and I felt
Why couldn't I have met you before
I met you and I felt
Why couldn't I have met you before
It's not like I know you so well
So why do things come so easy with you
We may be strangers But it doesn't feel that way
Maybe you could meet And tell me how you feel
Sorry. Class ended late today.
Thank you.
Next time be half an hour later than today.
Why?
I sat here thinking whether your hair is going to be tied or open.
What color you'd be wearing, whether you'd wear a watch or not.
I've never had the pleasure of waiting for anyone before.
I'm so sorry I got late today.
No, I came early.
I also wanted to know what it feels like to wait for someone.
What?
Tea!
Thank you.
Less milk…
Stronger flavor.
- Ginger, uh… Fennel and - Cardamom.
When you're near me, with me
Your very presence is enough for me
Time spent with you is magical
Even silence is magical in your company
I'm a bit eager, impatient
Sorry. Madhu-Shree.
I met you and I felt
Always be happy like this my darling.
Just seeing you like this…
Fills my heart with so much joy.
What is Shree like, huh?
What do you want to know?
He still keeps flowers pressed in books.
- Really? - Hmm…
Hmm!
And even when he's upset with his students…
He scolds them so sweetly.
He rushes home every day just so that he can go and water his plants.
Didima that man is one of a kind.
Bose? What caste is that supposed to be, huh?
All that's in the past.
As long as the girl and her family are decent people.
We're going to meet them. Come see for yourself.
I'm making some tea.
Hmm.
- Pramila, pack some pickle. - Why isn't all this in the car yet?
I've kept them. These are just extras. Yeah. Come, let me show you. Come.
We'll take some for them.
Dad!
Very good.
I need to apply for the scholarship in five days.
They are offering one year of training, housing, food, everything is included.
And if I do well on the test, they will recruit me too.
Oh, we're sure you'll definitely score well.
But recruitment within one year. That's excellent!
Nisha, my dear…
As your father.
I only want what's best for you.
You must study… work if you like…
But I also want you to start
helping out at home.
That's how you'll learn… Hmm?
Pramod, what's the new show we saw on TV?
Ah… 'The Queen of the kitchen.'
Right.
Nisha my darling. Watch more cookery shows.
It'll help you learn your way around the kitchen.
Then will I be expected to stay home and cook for everyone?
So someday, if your in-laws ask you to make
something special for them, you're going to order it online,
are you? Hmm?
If you help around the house, you'll learn something useful.
Then why don't you help me out?
I asked for your support. I wanted to do more.
I asked for help with my cloud kitchen.
But no, all you want to do is sell flats.
The only reason people know me is because my friends are spreading the word.
And that's why handing out free pickle is your business strategy.
Such a cow!
You forgot the cardamom.
Have I ever forgotten it in 25 years?
How can you taste cardamom if you keep chewing betel leaves?
Well, you've got a lot to do in a day.
Maybe that's why you forgot. But it's okay.
Wait a minute, I'll make you a fresh cup.
Hmm… It tastes alright to me.
Could be a little stronger.
They look so good together.
Hmm…
They look even more beautiful in the sun's light.
I mean, they're both looking lovely.
That was amazing!
Excellent!
Mr. Bhanu… why did you book a hotel?
We could have easily fit you all in our house.
- Yeah! - Hmm…
That's how we Tripathi's do things, Mr. Joy.
Then you must experience the Bose's hospitality.
So this year when we welcome Goddess Saraswati, you must come.
- Yeah. - We insist.
Our mother is a big devotee of the Goddess.
How's it?
- Oh… - Have some more?
- Let's have tea after this… Okay. - Okay, we'll come along too.
Shree, you played very well.
Thank you.
The way you played the raised 4th note while descending.
My God… Extraordinary!
I've made a lot of mistakes as a student.
My teacher was very strict about all this
No, no, it wasn't a mistake.
That was your interpretation.
Hmm… Please don't ever change it.
Madhu my dear…
This time during our festival… I would like… Shree to lead the…
'Haathe khori' ritual.
- Excellent! Great! That'll be very nice. - What?
That's great!
Hmm?
"Haathe Khori."
The first day of the festival when children
write their first alphabets.
Okay!
Oh…
You know I came across this article that you meet your soulmate in every lifetime,
but in different roles.
My grandmother is that person for me.
I'm sure that she was my sister in one life and… My daughter in another.
Can't even imagine my life without her.
Well then…
I guess Kusum and I share that relationship.
You know sometimes when she scolds me…
I feel like a piece of my mom shines through her.
Wilting is another way of blossoming I guess.
These books entrap the scent of these flowers.
Now you keep this one safe for me.
It happens to be from my favorite book.
Sorry, I've always been a nerd.
No, you've always been…
- époustouflant. - Eposou?
Breathtaking.
That's odd.
Why do you look so sad when I'm paying you a compliment?
A lonely soul whether happy or sad… wears the same face.
Huh?
I'm new to all of this.
Hmm! Lonely?
- One. - One.
Two.
One.
- Two. - Two.
Three.
Four… No?
- It's just, one… - One.
Two.
Get used to duets.
One.
The days of going solo are over.
Two.
One.
Two.
One.
Two.
One.
Two.
Two…
What's wrong?
Feels so nice to be with someone.
It all feels like a dream to me.
Mommy…
No! D-Delete, delete, delete that please. Mom, I mean, I, uh…
I didn't mean that… I, actually mean that… I saw it somewhere.
Deepak showed it to me but I…
Forget it. I mean…
Sorry.
Your tone could have been more sexy.
Oh!
Daddy!
Oh, Mommy!
Oh, Daddy…
Oh, Mommy…
Oh, Daddy…
Mommy…
Daddy!
- Oh, Daddy! - Oh, Mommy!
Oh, Mommy…
What happened Mrs. Tripathi?
We weren't enough, that's what happened.
Even with us around… Shree aches for his mother
and Madhu misses her father.
I heard them both, calling their Mommy and Daddy.
There was so much pain in their voices.
What happened, baby?
Tell me darling…
Mrs Tripathi.
Emotional times… emotional measures.
Hmm?
Say "Shree"!
Oh! Do that, do that, do that!
Didima, cheers!
- To Shree and Madhu. - To Shree and Madhu, of course!
Shree and Madhu.
Yes!
There is a saying in Bengali. Listen…
Tring-tring! Tring-tring!
Huh?
Hello?
How are you doing, dear sir?
What do you think, madam?
Oh! If only you could actually see.
Hmm!
Let's find a private place you and me.
- Huh? - Huh!
You're so cute when you're embarrassed.
Is it okay… if I call you Shree?
Just Shree.
Oh, Shree.
My, Shree.
Shree…
Yes, Shree!
Shree!
Shree…
My Shree…
Just Shree! Shree… Shree… Shree… Shree…
My Shree. Shree.
Shree.
Shree… Shree.
Shree.
Just Shree.
- Shree. - Yes, yes, yes, right there. Shree. A
little to the side. A little more left please? Yeah, yeah, yeah,
that's good. Yes, perfect.
Say Shreeee!
Are you even a virgin?
Is it even possible to find a virgin beyond sixteen these days?
The National Museum won't have one either. Right?
Yeah.
AJK… AJK calling…
Hi!
AJK… AJK call--
Hello?
AJK… AJK--
Hello? Listen!
You have to hear what I have to say madam.
You know, I've been betrayed. I have been cheated.
I've also been betrayed many times.
Do you have a Madhu Bose working with your company?
She's from Kolkata.
She's a French…
We're sorry, your call cannot be completed as dialed.
What a huge betrayal!
And here I was thinking… That after you are married,
she'll be like a sister to me.
There are 80,000 male subscribers. On the Aap jaisa koi app.
Which means that even if she was on the app for only a month… Think about it.
How many men did she chat with?
Can you stop blabbering?
Shut the fuck up bro.
I am not blaberring here. It's basic math.
So many of them must be around here in Jamshedpur.
What are you staring at?
Huh?
Don't look at me.
I cancelled my subscription ages ago alright.
Hi!
Shree?
- Hello-- - The number you've
dialed is currently busy.
I'm busy now. Text me.
Listen, I'm leaving town for a couple of days.
Don't panic too much and don't tell my brother and his wife anything.
Why are you going to Agartala?
Because it takes three days to reach there and if I stay there for ten days I
won't have to think about all these stupid things for at least 15 days.
What are you talking about Shree?
Acting is also a part of your course there?
I know that you have an account on that Aap jasa koi app.
Is that true?
So? You have one too.
So why didn't you tell me anything?
Shree, I also didn't tell you that I drink 2 litres of water everyday.
Are you for real right now?
You provide services in a sex chatting app?
Service? I have a subscription goddammit. I pay a fee for it.
To have filthy and vulgar conversations with men, you pay money?
- You pay for it too, what's the big deal? - No, no, it's not the same
for men. Men are like that.
So desires are only made for men. But women get judged.
I thought that I'll tell you on our engagement
night, and we'll have a good laugh.
But no, the girl is single, sexually active.
So of course she must be characterless right?
Oh how my trust stands broken
Shree!
Shree I was just exhausted.
I'd had enough of these… Toxic relationships,
heartbreaks, emotional baggage.
I was just trying to get away from it all.
I just wanted to have some fun.
But then one night… I spoke to you.
For the first time in two months you were the only man who didn't want to know
what I was wearing.
Instead you asked… If I'd had dinner?
Who didn't just want to talk but also to listen with whom I could laugh and
just have fun?
I know we only spoke to each other once.
But I just couldn't get you out of my head.
You touched me without touching me, Shree.
I didn't need the app after that. I just wanted to find you.
And there was just one Shrirenu Tripathi on Google. And he was in Jamshedpur.
Turns out you were the brother-in-law of my uncle Joy's neighbour Kusum.
Look, I'm a very simple man, Ms Bose.
I only understand simple things.
I'm from a simple family.
And I want to make a simple family.
I don't think you and I will work out.
You turned out exactly like everyone else.
And I don't think I can be with a hypocrite like you either.
Wow!
Now you must be thinking of yourself as very woke.
You're wrong, Ms Bose.
You are a lying, conniving, loose character.
Maybe that's why this is the second time it's happening with you.
Oh how my trust stands broken
The world seems full of lies to me
Soon as they exchange garland's, petals will rain down.
I want them to feel like they are playing lead roles in a romantic movie.
But then the groom must look like a hopeless romantic too.
Uncle Shree is back!
Come on, let's go!
Oh shut up the marriage is off.
The wedding is not happening.
Hi Shree, I need to measure your head for the turban. Could you please sit for a
- minute? - Shree? Will you wear a pink
wedding suit or a purple one? You choose.
Why are you asking him? Just pick whatever you prefer.
Even for my own wedding I actually borrowed Bhanu's clothes.
Uncle Shree,
I think the card should say Madhu Weds Shree and not the other way around.
- Oh yeah, I forgot that… - I've called off the wedding!
But why was Madhu on that app in the first place?
For God's sake you're a Sanskrit teacher.
You should have known better than to be on a cheap app like that.
Okay Bhanu, there's no need to get aggressive.
If this is how Shrirenu reacted… I don't know how the others will react.
It'll be a riot.
Riots. There'll be riots.
Where the hell are the stairs?
It's the 25th floor.
There is no need to fight or argue about any of this.
We are civilized people and we will behave as such.
And they think they're civilized.
You were right Pramod. Community Matters.
What a spectacle they put up at the club.
The women drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes, and playing cards.
They were also discussing politics.
And the men? Hanging onto the hems
of their wives' sarees.
Pathetic.
Showing love for their wives makes them pathetic.
I'm not getting a good feeling about this.
Madhu should have been honest with Shree about it.
Yeah but of course she was going to tell him Shona.
But given the way that Shree reacted to this,
Frankly, that speaks more of his
character than Madhu's.
Absolutely. His character is a big question mark.
Why are all of you playing the victim card?
Both of them were on the app, right?
- Joy Bose! - Dad!
Hmm…
Pisces, Aries, Capricorn… Cancer, Leo, Libra.
One, four, seven, eight, twelve.
No sir, his horoscope looks quite well aligned.
The fault is not in his stars.
He's the problem.
Astrologically on paper,
he's a very good match with most of the girls he's met so far.
But when the girl meets him face to face.
Do I offer milk to a cobra? Pray to a cow? Add three more U's in my name.
Just tell me the remedy for this trouble.
That alone is the best time, that alone is the auspicious day.
That alone has the strength of the stars, the strength of the Moon.
That alone has the strength of knowledge, the strength given by Gods,
when I remember the feet of Lord Vishnu, the husband of Lakshmi.
The seventh circle has been successfully completed.
All the rituals are complete.
And now you have to make a solemn promise to your wife.
That from now on you will regard all other women as either your sister or
your mother and in no other way.
And as long as you both shall live, you promise,
that there will never be a third person in your marriage.
Oh wait a second. If I make that solemn promise,
when will I get a real woman in my life?
Shrirenu? Why are you getting so
emotional about this?
This is just an imaginary wedding.
All you need to do is pay my fees,
and then I'll send you the list of eligible brides.
Everyone say, "Shree!"
The mist retreats, sinks away
Ever since I found you and made you mine
You were a wonder of nature One in a million
You made me yours And then cast me out
I have lost that which sheltered me
Is this how
love stories end, tell me
The nights are lonely, the days pass by
Leaving loneliness behind I'm lost and drifting
There's a deafening silence
A fog hangs over every path
How do I tie it back up
This string that is broken In so many places
How can I ever trust again
If the sky lies about the rain, can the parched earth move on
The one I worshipped left me bereft
The path to love has brought me To such a place
I have lost that which sheltered me
Is this how
love stories end, tell me
The wind blows Bearing the cry of a broken heart
The river is deep, the shores are far away
The nights are lonely, the days pass by
Leaving loneliness behind I'm lost and drifting
No, no, no…
You… you listen to me.
What are you talking about? We have already paid you our share.
No, no. We have paid our money.
Just hang up the phone.
What's wrong?
These venue people keep calling me.
We've already paid half the amount,
but the Tripathi's are refusing to pay their
share. And now, they are harassing us.
Typical Entitled Indian Groom Mentality.
First they show off excessively at the functions.
And if things don't work out, something goes wrong,
- they'll refuse to pay a single penny. - Exactly.
Disgusting!
Madhu's here! Come.
Madhu! Come, come
Sit.
Why should the venue go to waste?
If we know anybody who is single… Then they can use it.
What? What happened?
Come on Joy!
At least tell us what's your type.
Let me guess, let me guess. Feisty and funny.
Someone who can match his silly sense of humour.
What an idea!
The uncle who graciously takes over his niece's wedding venue.
It's got feel, it's got romance.
Hey, come on enough now.
There's no way I'm getting on the marriage bandwagon just to save some cash.
No, no. This is blasphemy.
What blasphemy uncle? I know you're such a romantic.
Agreed relationships can be difficult, but you'll master the art.
Yes, relationships can be difficult.
But I'm also pretty sure.
That you can also master the art.
Trust me.
I trust you.
And that's why. I'm going back to work.
The faster I move on the faster
this will all be forgotten.
Who were you showing flats to this morning?
By the way dad…
Hmm?
The company is having an offsite. I have to go to Kolkata next week.
Are you asking me or telling me?
I don't mind going with Nisha.
She won't be alone and she'll also get her work done.
And the housework? Hmm?
Why are you getting so stressed about it?
I've taught Pramila to look after everything.
To roast the groundnuts in sand on a slow flame, not in oil,
And to grind the chutney on a stone not in a mixie.
With onions, chilli and lemon juice. It will be managed, don't worry.
I'm not talking about the taste.
When will Nisha learn the household chores? That's what I'm asking.
How many times do I have to say it?
Academics will only strengthen your mind,
But it's the values that will strengthen your family.
You know girls that are too modern…
ruin their parental and marital homes.
What's that series we saw Pramod? Hmm?
- "The high maintenance daughter-in-law?" - Yeah!
There you go.
Hmm?
Exams are over now Shree.
Come with us. You could really use a break.
No, I don't feel like it.
Shut the fuck up bro.
It's festival season right now.
India's top single ladies will be out and about across Bengal.
They'll be way better than Madhu Bose.
Madhu Bose?
Who the hell is that?
Oh!
- Tea! Hot tea! Who wants hot tea? - Uncle Shree, can you
please get us some tea?
- Sure, why not? - Less sugar.
Yeah.
Thank you so much.
Why did you come?
Are you okay?
Hmm…
We all know that who's Madhu Bose… Is just a bad cover-up.
Pretending to move on makes it easier to move on.
You're young. You won't understand.
Uncle Shree, this is your first time. But I've had many relationships.
You know, I could actually write
a thesis on breakups.
You managed to find the one girl… Who didn't want to change
a thing about you.
And she loved you for exactly who you are, Uncle Shree.
She didn't laugh at you but with you.
And you left her for a stupid reason.
I never told you this, but once while I was going
to meet a friend,
He messaged me to ask where I was.
And I replied, "I'm on my way."
But made a typo and sent, I'm in my way.
That one little mistake turned out to be a breakthrough moment in my life.
We are all in our way Uncle Shree.
Step aside.
- Step aside or I'll miss my train. - Yeah…
I can't explain the pain I'm going through, Deepu.
My heart's going to explode.
You can barely get through a peg… And you're aiming for a bottle.
I miss her, man. I miss Madhu.
What do you mean you miss her bro?
Didn't you just say who the hell is Madhu Bose?
I was lying.
To you and myself as well.
But-- But I can't do it anymore.
She has taken over my whole soul.
This isn't you. It's the alcohol talking my friend.
Just wait for it to wear off in the morning.
Madhu Bose will wear off with it.
Shree, listen to me.
You don't have to be the green flag here.
If you're even thinking about going to Kolkata.
Be very clear that you'll have to go over my dead body.
Hello.
Where can I find Ms. Bose?
Shree!
Sorry.
Young man, she must be in the library.
Hi.
Namit?
What are you doing here?
Nothing's really changed.
Even today, one look at Miss Madhu Bose and uff…
Coma!
Listen, I'm…
I'm sorry for showing up like this Madhu.
But I really miss you.
You know…
I just finished my MD from John Hopkins.
Dad and I are opening a hospital.
- 260 beds multi-special-- - Congratulations. Good for you.
Listen, I'm sorry. I fucked up badly. I'm really sorry.
We were head over heels, Maddy.
Won't you give me one more chance?
Don't you think it's a bit too late for it?
I did get that thought when I heard that you were getting engaged to an oldie.
But… But that's not the point.
The point is that you are here in Kolkata and… I'm getting one more chance
- to fix things with you. - Namit!
Madhu, I'm sorry.
Please you have to forgive me.
Madhu come on, please!
Listen… Let's just step out and talk.
Nisha has an offsite going on here. I brought her luggage.
I was just passing by… and I spotted you.
So… thought I'd say "Hey."
Hey, bro.
Hi, hi.
Shree.
Of course.
I figured as soon as I saw him.
The old school guy?
And you're Namit, aren't you? I recognized you too.
Wanna be cool guy!
Won't you ask me to join?
Madhu… Ms. Bose… I need to speak to you
about something alone. Listen, could you give us a couple of minutes?
Excuse me?
Excused.
You spent so much time with him in the library…
And you can't even spare two minutes for me.
- Ah… - That means you were following me.
That means you didn't notice.
You never even turn around to check.
You only keep moving forward.
I'll wait outside.
- I'm so sorry. - No, It's okay.
Thank…
If it was any other man instead of me,
he would have also reacted exactly like I did about the app.
But it's all okay now.
I'm not angry anymore.
I've decided to forgive you.
Going forward, I'll allow you to do everything.
Just… Tone it down a notch.
Why do you get to decide what my limits are?
Huh?
I thought after all this time, Maybe you've changed.
But here you are still judging me.
Trying to control me, to teach me.
You want to teach me my limits.
And you're here to forgive me?
Shree, you're a Sanskrit professor, right?
Don't you understand the definition of love?
Love only… Needs love in return. A love between equals.
As are you, so am I.
And that kind of love,
I don't think you can give me.
Yeah, hi, Bhanu.
Doesn't anyone in this family answer their phones?
We are rotting here at Howrah station.
But what are you doing here?
I've come here to pay for your sins as usual.
First I'm going to deal with the guys at the venue and then I'm going to see a
new property.
Are you coming to fetch us? Or should I go on my own?
Those damn venue guys…
They want us to pay half the cost.
I'll get their license cancelled.
But we do owe them half the money, right?
The groom's side must always make a profit.Never a loss.
Cloud kitchen concept that you…
No, no, you're lying.
- No, no, I won't lie to you. - I believe you
- But it's just that… - Say it!
- That's Kusum, right? - No!
Hmm?
Look it's Kusum!
Why the hell aren't you answering your ph--
Bhanu, you head to the hotel and relax.
I'll sort out things at the venue.
There's no need for that.
I've rested enough.
Bhanu… The management has agreed.
Everything is sorted.
Let me also sort something out.
Sure.
How long has it been?
I asked you a question.
What difference does it make?
If I say one week instead of one month, will it hurt you any less?
Aren't you even a little ashamed?
I used to be.
A lot, in fact.
How can I do something like this?
I am not like this.
When Joy, came over with Madhu's proposal… we started talking.
And slowly over time, we became friends.
Joy made me realise who I truly was. He made me happy.
I found the love, the sense of identity,
I had sought from you for the past 28 years.
I was somebody's wife,
somebody's mother,
somebody's sister-in-law.
That's all I was.
Apart from that, who was Kusum?
Stop talking nonsense.
You're standing there trying to justify having an affair with this asshole.
I'm educating my daughter.
I'm letting her work.
And I respect my wife.
Is there a man in all of Jamshedpur who gives his wife permission to work,
even at this age?
Who are you to give me permission?
You have authority over business and the property, but not someone's self-respect.
I grind all the spices myself.
Lay them out to dry in the sun.
I pack each pickle jar by hand and make a little cash so that no one ever dares
to turn around and tell me that "I gave you permission to work."
And what is my age?
I'm just a few years older than Shree, right?
His life hasn't even begun yet and mine is considered over.
You have to learn to look beyond your rent agreements, Bhanu Tripathi.
The fifties are the new forties.
And what do you mean when you say you respect me?
You can't swallow a morsel without insulting me first.
I insult you.
If I correct you lovingly or say you're being foolish, that's an insult?
Can't I tease you sometimes?
Am I allowed to tease you?
Tell me?
Can I call you stubborn or a bull in front of other people?
Just let it go, Bhanu.
Kusum is not thinking straight.
She'll settle down in a few days.
There's nothing wrong with her thinking.
My mother has finally found love.
You won't understand.
Yo--
Are you saying you want to leave me?
Kusum?
You…
You're actually leaving me, Kusum.
If I send you your medicines three times a day and a tiffin meal…
You wouldn't even notice I've left Bhanu.
I'm sorry, Bhanu, that things happened this way.
But I love her, and I'm not sorry for that.
You've come to hate me so much?
No, I don't hate you.
But I can't love you anymore.
Kusum… For whatever you have done… Tell me that you're sorry.
And I'll forgive you.
I have a very big heart.
Just say you're sorry.
I'll definitely forgive you.
Forgive her for what, brother?
Right or wrong are only for your wife?
You get away with anything… But she has to pay the price.
If this is what makes her happy, I'm with her in this.
Whatever you do, wherever you choose to go,
I will always respect you and love you as I have.
Hello?
What?
What happened?
Mom was rehearsing for the festival with all the children.
She slept and fell…
and fainted.
Yes. Alright.
Dr. Banerjee said that a fall at this age could be extremely problematic.
Her heart rate has dropped quite a lot… and platelet count is very low.
Should we hospitalise her?
It's no use, Kusum.
Mom had told us last time she doesn't want any more hospital visits.
Didima was really looking forward to this year's pooja.
She was really very excited.
Why are you stressing yourself?
You can take my word for it
Didima will be perfectly fine.
She'll be much better by the time the festival arrives.
But there's still seven days left.
I don't think she'll make it.
Then why don't we do it today?
Faith doesn't need a date or a location.
One should pray to the Goddess every day.
You're right.
We should plan an intimate celebration.
Why intimate? We should do it exactly
the way Didima wanted it.
I agree.Let's do it.
Deepu… quick, just get everything packed
and come to Kolkata.
Shut the fuck up, bro., bro.
What's the point of coming now? It's already a mess.
What the hell are you saying?
Don't ask me that… Why don't you ask Kusum?
What was the need for her to make a U-turn at this age?
It's not like Bhanu is a criminal or a murderer.
He never even raised a hand on her, not even once.
Deepu, you're not understanding.
Like I never made an effort to understand myself.
Love only needs love in return.
Between equals.
As she is… So am I.
The doctor needlessly scared us.
Doctors tend to scare us sometimes.
Soon as Didima learned of Goddess Saraswati's
arrival, she was completely fine.
My heart was innocent and naïve
It made a mistake, went too far
My heart was innocent and naïve
It made a mistake, went too far
Your anger, it burns and scrapes at me
In life, in every happy moment Something seems amiss
Cast out of your heart Cast out of your heart
Where do I go now?
Must I drift, lost out in the world
Let me once again return to your heart
Must I drift, lost out in the world
Let me once again return to your heart
My heart was innocent and naïve
It made a mistake, went too far
Why did we fight What was so wrong
I can't stop thinking about it
When you turned your back on me
Why didn't I stop you then?
When a bird flies off a riverboat
It surely returns sometime
You're the boat, I'm the bird
How long can I fly away
Must I drift, lost out in the world
Let me once again return to your heart
Must I drift, lost out in the world
M
Let me once again return to your heart
My heart was innocent and naïve
It made a mistake, went too far
Must I drift, lost out in the world
Let me return once again to your heart
- You're all drenched. - Where is Madhu?
Ms. Bose?
You know, somebody once told me "The
Lord of the Losers."
They were so right.
And then you called me a chauvinist pig.
And you were right too.
But there's… There's one more thing I want to admit to.
I'm a virgin.
No, I mean everything is fine with me physically. But I've…
I've never managed to come close to anyone.
I really did want to tell you but I was so consumed by my fear that I…
I thought you would leave me and I'll be alone again.
I used to think that I… I'm nothing like Bhanu Tripathi.
I thought I was educated a liberal. How could I be narrow minded?
I thought I treated everyone equally.
But I'm cut from the same cloth.
I grew up with the same values as he did.
And I guess these are the values most Indian men grew up with.
We may fail our exams in school.
But we never fail to carry a heavy moral compass wherever we go.
And this is what we are taught since we're children. All of us.
My relative Pramod,
Even my best friend Deepak,
my student Rakesh.
Had I been brought up in a family like yours, I would have been different.
But I will try hard… I'll try very hard.
I'll work harder than I did to finish my PhD.
I have been a teacher all my life. I'd like to be a student now.
And I'll never assume any woman needs my approval to live her life…
Because she gets to make her own decisions.
See, I know I'll make mistakes, but I'll learn to apologize.
I'll learn from my mistakes, I just hope that you don't
suspend me from your class.
Will you please give me a chance to take a retest?
Look I know Namit… Namit is good looking. He's young. He's rich. He's smart.
He's everything that I'm not.
But regardless of who I am, what I am like,
I will always love you as an equal, Ms. Bose.
As you are, so am I.
Cause a cute girl and a nerdy boy.
Isn't this what they call… a real rom-com?
Listen, I'm here complimenting
you and you look so sad.
A lonely person, whether happy or sad… Looks the same doesn't he?
Lonely?
Uh… Namit?
All we did was have lunch together. Does that mean I'm having an affair?
If we broke up, can't we still be friends?
Bloody chauvinist pig.
Just a second.
What are you looking for?
The ring!
Ever since you gave it back…
I've been keeping it close to my heart and now when the time has come to…
Oh, man!
My luck is exactly like me… Stupid!
Your luck… is exactly like you. Époustouflant.
Époustouflant.
Epoustou… what?
You still don't get it.
No.
Congratulations, Shree
We're engaged.
What secrets does her heart hide
As she walks with a leisurely stride
What secrets does her heart hide
As she walks with a leisurely stride
She arrives like the radiance of spring
Her steps are like fairy lights sparkling
O angel of mercy, you're the one for me
You're the one for me
Who could want anything more than you
Little by little, you bring me joy
Little by little, you bring me peace
Little by little, you bring me joy
Little by little, you bring me peace
When you're near me, with me
Your very presence is enough for me
Let us meet, even if you say nothing
To see you is enough for me
Time spent with you is magical
Even silence is magical in your company
I'm a bit eager, impatient
But let some things remain unsaid
Little by little, you bring me joy
Little by little, you bring me peace
Little by little, you bring me joy
Little by little, you bring me peace
I met you and I felt
Why couldn't I have met you before